All I have to say today is: Brace yourselves and hold on tight: this roller coaster is about to take off at full speed.
Monica couldn't stop her legs from shaking as she nervously waited for her name to be called. It was her first ultrasound appointment, and she couldn't wait to see the life growing inside her.
Suddenly, a steady hand landed on her bouncing leg, stopping the movement. Of course, of all her friends, HE had been the only one available to go with her to the appointment.
"Your turn is going to be soon. We've been here for so long, and the lady that registered before you was just called," Chandler tried to calm her down.
He looked nervous about something, too, but Monica didn't have a chance to question what was bothering him before he started to speak.
"Look… About the other day, when you came to me and Joey," He started. It was the first time they had been alone since that day, and immediately, Monica's throat went dry.
"This is it. Chandler knows." She thought for herself.
She couldn't have that conversation right now, not right before the appointment and not in the low-privacy setting of the waiting room.
"I'm sorry for what I said," Chandler continued. "I had no idea it would bring you so much doubts."
Monica needed a second to process he wasn't saying what she expected.
"What?" She managed to ask
"Rachel came to talk to me later. She said you were worried about your baby after leaving our apartment. I had no idea. I'm not good at commitment-related advice, and I guess I wasn't exactly thinking how you would feel," Chandler continued.
The lump in Monica's throat dissolved after hearing his words.
"Oh, it's okay. That already happened a few days ago," Monica declared, not wanting to push the matter, at least at that moment.
"But I want you to know I didn't mean it about you," Chandler added. "I'm sure your baby's father is not an idiot like me and won't run away from you. But if he happens to do it, I wouldn't run away from you, Mon. You're my best friend, and I will always help and support you with whatever you need." He finished.
Monica's heart warmed by hearing her friend's speech, so she took his hand and gently squeezed it to show him her affection silently.
"Thank you, Chandler. I'm sure you won't run away either when, someday, the right girl appears," She declared, wishing she would be that girl.
"I don't know, Mon. I'm not even ready for a committed relationship, even less…"
His sentence was cut short by the receptionist's voice calling Monica's name.
Monica and Chandler entered the exam room, where a nurse awaited them.
"Hi, Monica. I'm Nurse Evans, and I will perform the ultrasound exam," The nurse cheerfully introduced herself.
"And you must be the father, right?" the nurse added, extending her hand to Chandler.
A thick tension enveloped the room. Monica froze, and Chandler's eyes widened, both becoming uncomfortable at the nurse's assumption.
"Umm… I'm just a friend," Chandler awkwardly mumbled to correct the nurse. "I'm Chandler," He added, taking the nurse's hand and shaking it.
It was the nurse's turn to feel embarrassed.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I just assumed it because it's usually the case for male companions of the ultrasound patients," The nurse apologized.
"Yeah. Chandler's just a friend. The father couldn't be here today," Monica added, trying to cover her racing blood. How she wished she didn't have to lie.
"Okay. That's fine," The nurse dismissed the situation. "Shall we start?"
So, the nurse discussed if Monica wanted Chandler to be present or if she would rather have him waiting in the waiting room. After deciding she wanted Chandler to be present, and he'd agreed, the nurse showed Monica to the chair and prepared the gel and wand to start everything.
Finally, the procedure started, and a grainy black-and-white image appeared on the device's screen.
"There it is. Those are your babies, Monica," The nurse announced, freeing the image on the screen so that Monica could watch it. It took a moment for Monica to process the nurse's words.
"There's what?!" She asked, shocked, unsure she'd heard the nurse right.
Monica immediately turned her face to confirm what the nurse had just announced. There was no way to deny it. There were, unequivocally, two small-sized babies on the screen.
"Your babies," The nurse repeated. "Congratulations, you're having twins!" She added with a big smile.
The room was silent for a moment.
Twins? Two babies? It felt like the day Monica discovered she was pregnant all over again. She didn't know what she should be feeling about the situation. Part of her felt thrilled. But all of her previous and constant doubt resurfaced even stronger than before. If she was already afraid Chandler would bolt out when he learned he was the father of her baby, how would he react, knowing it was two babies? She knew he'd said he wouldn't abandon her, and she knew deep down that he meant it. But he'd said it before the news they'd just received.
However, for more doubts that she may have, the moment Monica's eyes landed on the two tiny babies in the image, her heart swelled with love. And although she didn't feel prepared to have two babies, she loved both equally and unconditionally.
"Now, let's hear the heartbeat," The nurse brought Monica back from her deep-thinking status. Moments after, the silent room was filled with a steady and rapid succession of 'thump thumps".
Tears streamed down Monica's face. Hearing her baby's heartbeat made everything sink in. She was really having a baby. Twins, to be precise. The tiny humans in the blurred monitor. And apparently, the sound had had the same effect on her best friend.
"Wow!" Chandler exclaimed, leaning in to watch the image closely. "I can't believe a baby is growing inside you, Mon. Well, two, actually," Chandler whispered with amazement.
"I know!" Monica answered, holding back a sob. "Those are my babies," She added, looking at Chandler, who gave her one of his smiles in return.
Then, she looked again at her friend, who stood by her side, looking at the screen with almost the same amazement she knew she was feeling. And in that moment, Monica made her decision. She would tell him that day.
And that was what she did. As soon as they got home from the doctor, Monica prepared to lift the weight off her shoulders.
"Hey, Chandler," She started, already feeling the nervousness taking care of her body. "Can we talk for a minute?"
He looked at her with a concerning expression. He must have sensed the graveness of her tone.
"Sure, Mon. Whatever you need," He answered.
"Okay, sure," She said, not knowing how to start the conversation.
"Maybe we should sit down?" She asked, pointing to the empty couch.
"Okay, sure," Chandler mimicked her words, doing as she suggested.
"So… the other day when I went to your apartment, I didn't say what I wanted to say. I was going to say something to you, but Joey came in, and I didn't want him to listen." Monica started nervously, her hands suddenly appearing very interesting.
"Oh. So, what do you want to talk about?"
"I know exactly when these babies were conceived. It was the night of Joey's birthday party," She said. It felt good to let it out, but she didn't dare to see Chandler's expression.
"Okay… But didn't you say the father was some guy from your work? How's that possible if he wasn't at the party?" Chandler asked, clearly confused. Not the reaction she had expected. Perhaps he needed a little more information to connect the dots.
"It's not a guy from work. I lied," Monica admitted. "And there is only one person with whom I slept that night…"
"Who was it? I only remember us guys and Gunther being there. And definitely, it was not Gunther…" God damn. Was he dumb, or was he finding a way to deny the truth? Either way, Monica was not in the mood to play games.
"Chandler," She declared steadily. "I think it's time we stop pretending that night didn't happen."
"What night? Joey's birthday party? What happened?" He asked, looking puzzled.
"What we did…" Monica explained.
"I don't know what you're talking about, Mon," Chandler declared, although she could tell he was getting a bit nervous. Sadly, that was the reaction she had been expecting.
"God damn! I know we agreed to pretend it never happened, but can't you understand we can't do that anymore? We slept together, and it had clear consequences. I didn't plan for this to happen, but I sucked it up and dealt with them!" Monica yelled, getting up and pointing to her still-flat belly.
"We what?! We slept together?!" Chandler exclaimed, clearly alarmed.
Oh god! He had no idea. He didn't remember it. He hadn't just been ignoring it like it didn't mean anything. He didn't have any memory of it. The fleeting thought that perhaps it could have meant something to him helped Monica's anger to dissipate.
"You don't remember?" She asked, now softly, looking Chandler in the eyes.
"I… don't remember it…" He answered, and although his gaze was still fixed on Monica's, she couldn't read his emotions; it was a mix she had never seen in his eyes.
"So, what are you saying? Are you saying that…?" Chandler asked, pointing to her belly as he stopped mid-sentence.
It was the moment for Monica to get ready for the impact.
"Yes," Monica confirmed his unfinished sentence.
Suddenly, Chandler looked very pale.
"You're joking, right?" He asked, stumbling in his words.
"No. It's for real," Monica confirmed once again.
It was the only word she needed to turn his temper, and anger surfaced in his eyes.
"Oh god! Are you fucking serious?! How could you let this happen? You know I'm not ready for this!" Chandler yelled at her.
Of all the scenarios she had imagined, Chandler getting angry had not been one of them. And having his harsh words directed at her broke her heart.
"It's not like I did it on purpose! And you let this happen, too! It takes two people to get pregnant!" Monica yelled back at him, with tears pouring down her face.
"Oh, I'm sorry I let this accident happen!" Chandler yelled sarcastically. "Perhaps that's why we agreed to never talk about that night, even if I don't remember anything! Because it was a mistake, and we should never have done it! Because then, we wouldn't be here in this situation, having a kid I don't want to!"
For the way Chandler spoke, he might as well have just thrown a knife directly into Monica's heart. She let out a sob.
"How dare you say it was a mistake? It certainly didn't feel like it back then. And I know the babies were not part of the plan, but I want them, and I'm having them, either with or without your help!" Monica choked, completely broken-hearted.
"I… I can't have this conversation right now," Chandler suddenly declared in an angry tone, although not yelling like he'd been doing previously. Then, without any other words, he turned his back and left the apartment, the door behind him closing with a loud bang.