21st of Frostfall

Someone mentioned that the Shrine of Azura was something to see. I was restless today so I decided that it might be a nice place to meditate. Damn me for a fool. Now I've got a third Daedra poking around my life. I'm supposed to go some old fort that's across the lake from the land I bought in Falkreath. It's a really lovely spot if you overlook the old tombs full of dragur and ring of standing stones that seems to attract necromancers like thistles draw bees. For some reason, there seem to be an inordinate number of animal attacks. I started cutting some timber and ended up having to kill three bears and five wolves before I gave up. I'm not sure I'm going to build anything here. You could never step out the front door safely. Not a place for children for sure and I'd like to have some one of these days. I doubt that I'll find a man willing to share my life. Maybe I'll just take up with the twins. They seem like they'd be amenable to that kind of an arrangement. They do everything else together and that might be fun.

I'll go poke around the fort. If it's full of necromancers maybe clearing it out will stop some of the odd happenings on the land I now own. If that will at least slow down, I'd feel better about building a house and having livestock there. As it is, if I bought so much as a goat, I'd just be feeding the local wildlife.

23rd of Frostfall

Azura was correct. The fort was indeed full of necromancers with some bandits thrown in for good measure. The Merry Band and I cleaned it out. Hauled out some nice loot and Azura's star. Like an idiot I carted the thing back to Azura to clean up lest I make her angry. One of the necromancers had decided it looked more homey than his own failing body and moved himself in. Somehow he'd convinced his disciples to "feed" him souls so that he can stay lodged in there. She sent me in there after him. On the upside, I've harvested a few more Daedra hearts that I'll be able to use later. I might even make myself a set of Daedric Armor. It's not very Nordic, I know but I'm told it's far stronger than even Dwermer or Orcish armor and takes enchantments better. That might be worth testing out.

I went into Whiterun to sell off a pile of the loot I'd collected so I could share the proceeds with the Merry Band and ran into this poor child who is apparently living under the Gildergleam. Her Da is off with the Storm Cloaks. Her Ma died. Her aunt and uncle put her out. If I finish building the house, she can go live there at least. Jorrvaskr isn't a place for child that young. Not that it wouldn't be better than living in a park under a tree and begging, but I think I can do better than that for her.

One thing Skyrim seems to be short on is orphanages. The only one I've seen is in Riften run by the freak, Grelod the Kind. Her name has to be entirely sarcastic because if the Arentino boy everyone's talking about isn't successful in calling up the Black Hand, I might just have to do something about her myself. I'll have to speak to Balgruuf about orphanages. With this war going on, this is going to become a problem if we don't do something now. Best we get those children now and get a roof over their heads, food in their bellies, and apprenticed out for a trade when they're old enough. Otherwise, they'll end up being the next generation of louts, bandits, and thieves.

25th of Frostfall

I met with Delphine and she wants me to sneak into the Thalmor embassy as party guest and see if I can find out what the Thalmor know about the dragons. I'm not one of those sneaky, stealthy types who prowls around with sticky fingers. I'm more of a blunt instrument. Left to my own devices, I'd ask the Companions and my Merry Band to help me swarm the place. They'd either give me what I want to know or die. Delphine is dragon crap crazy if she thinks this is going to work. I can't see a way in which this isn't going to go sideways in fifty different directions. There's not a single thing here that plays to my strengths at all. My criteria for success are getting myself and her Bosmer friend out of the embassy in one piece.

26th of Frostfall

In terms of my success criteria, it was a resounding success. I made it out of the embassy with my merry band, Malborn and a couple of others that the Thalmor were "interrogating". The actual name for what they're doing is snatching people out of their homes and torturing them. Yet another reason to pack them off to Oblivion. By Delphine's standards, we were less successful since her ideas involved getting out undetected too. Hah! I tried to tell her this wasn't going to work, but she's stubborn and tends to assume that she's right about everything.

If you consider "undetected" battling the Thalmor through the embassy, through the courtyard, and through the ambassador's private quarters, and into her personal torture dungeon, then yes, we were totally undetected. When the fighting spilled over into the courtyard, my Merry Band, who had been hiding in the woods, rushed the guards and climbed the wall. There's not much left of the Thalmor compound. Once the animals get in, there won't be much left of the Thalmor either. They've been dumping so many bodies down an old trash chute that an entire family of trolls had moved in. I killed a couple of the trolls and ran the rest off, but I left the chute open and doors propped so that they can get in and clean up for me. That'll make it a lot harder for anyone looking things over later to figure out what really happened.

I did come across some interesting things while I was there, though. I have the Thalmor dossiers on Esbern, Delphine, and Ulfric along with piles of their communcations back and forth. I sat and read through them last night. After that incident at the embassy, there'll be one of these dossiers on Astri Thorsdottir, I'm certain. Delphine was right about them trying to kill her. She's labeled as kill on sight with an entire army. It specifically mentions using overwhelming force. What they had planned for Esbern, though… He'd have spent the rest of his life in a Thalmor cell. Not a fate I'd wish even on those pirates and I killed all of them. Gods above, what the Thalmor have done to Ulfric in one of those little cells. I don't know if I want to cry or punch something on his behalf. I know he and Balgruuf don't get along. Not really sure what the background is there. If I can catch Balgruuf in the right mood, I'll see if he's willing to tell me.

Depending on Balgruuf says, I think I might share some parts of this dossier with him. It might sway Balgruuf's opinion a bit. Those Thalmor bastards tortured Ulfric for weeks before he finally broke. The White Gold Concordant had already been signed when they finally managed to break him. Then they manipulated him into believing that the fall of Cyrodiil happened because of what he told them. It takes a strong man with a strong will to hold out that long given what they were doing to him. They wrote about that in some detail. It's pretty apparent that who ever wrote that part of the dossier was enjoying the process. By the Nine! They broke that man in so many ways. Mentally, physically, and maybe even spiritually, as well. I know that the Greybeards take issue with him using shouts in Markarth and against Torygg. Apparently, he was quite well liked during his time at High Hrothgar and they were quite upset when he left to go fight in the Great War with his father. Arngeir seems confused and bit hurt by his actions since then. Maybe a peek or two into this dossier for Arngeir is in order, as well.

The Thalmor have labeled him as "hostile", which I think is probably an understatement. Surely, he's learned by now that the tower fell while he was still being tortured. Still, I feel like I owe him a trip to Windhelm to set the record straight just in case no one else has. He's owed that much at least, given how he's suffered. It also mentions that they don't want the Storm Cloaks to win the civil war here because it means that they'll be driven out of Skyrim. If the Empire wins, they can keep their meddling hands here.

27th of Frostfall

I went to see Ulfric. He's not receptive to an offer of friendship. I either join his army or I'm his enemy. Who thinks like that? He follows that bear of a toady Galmar around like a lost puppy. I'm the Harbinger of the Companions. We don't fight in wars. We don't take part in politics. I'm not breaking five THOUSAND years of tradition for this bearded monkey. He had the nerve to tell me that I'm either stupid or courageous for approaching a Jarl without being summoned. He can kiss my rosy, pink backside. He's lucky he walked away with his nose unbloodied.

It should be plain enough who I am. I walked in with Wuuthrad strapped to my back and Shield of Ysgramor on my arm. Maybe I need to have Eorlund forge me some armor for special occasions like kicking some sense into a Jarl. Maybe he hasn't heard that the Companions have a new Harbinger. I'm going out the practice yard for a while. I may end up replacing one or two of the practice dummies while I vent my anger.

28th of Frostfall

Delphine wants me to go to Riften to see if it really is Esbern hiding in the Ratway. I don't really want to go poking around in that nasty sewer but if he can help us figure out what's going on with this big black son of a skeever, then I guess I'll need to put some tar on my boots and head out. I don't want my boots soaking up that muck. I'll never get the smell out and I like these the boots. I'm getting better at smithing and enchanting. Training with the Companions hasn't hurt me any either. Vilkas declared that I'm officially passable with a sword and shield. He and Farkas have been teaching me to use Wuuthrad even though he'd rather I focus on using the same weapons I plan to fight with. If we end up going to war against the elves, I think I might rather have Wuuthrad and be skilled in using it.

In completely unrelated news, the pup has decided he's in love with me. He's been doing his damndest to try to woo me. Candy, flowers, wine, even some jewelry. Maybe the works on some women, but I'm not some women. I'm me. I want a strong shoulder to lean on now and then. I want someone who will be good to Lucia and Sophie. I want someone who will come with me when I go out in the field. I want someone who will have my back, someone I can trust, someone who can trust me. I'm not sure the pup knows what he wants, but I haven't shooed him away yet, either. I don't want to hurt his feelings and he's not a bad looking pup. Aela thinks it's hilarious and Njada is enjoying my discomfort a bit too much. Vilkas says to give the pup a chance because, and I'm quoting, "That pup will grow into his paws soon enough, besides Farkas likes him. Farkas never likes anyone, aside from you."

30th of Frostfall

I'm back from Riften and I'll be making new boots. We had some trouble with the Thalmor in the Riften Ratway. I don't hate leaving a bunch dead Thalmor for the skeevers to eat. I'm just glad we got Esbern out of there in once piece. Esbern is quite a character. He'd have a time fighting his way out of sheet with a sharp dagger, but when it comes to lore, he's walking library. I learned more riding back to Riverwood with him behind me than I even suspected there was to know about dragons, The Blades, The Akaviri, and a dozen other topics.

I didn't say anything to Delphine or Esbern about this but what Esbern told me sent a shiver down my spine. Divines help us. Curing Kodlak may have doomed him. I sent him to Sovengarde but Alduin is there eating the souls of dead. I have to train harder and find a way to keep that black butcher from eating Kodlak. I didn't go through all to free him from Hircine just so that Alduin can have him as a snack.

I'm going to go pester Arngeir with everything that Esbern's been telling me and see if I can't wring some answers out of him. I knew he'd been holding out on me, but I need to some answers now and not whenever he decides I'm ready to hear them. I just hope Kodlak's still in one piece.

2nd of Sun's Dusk

Arngeir is not happy with the Blades at all, and fairly miffed at me, but I'm not sure I care much. I have some answers and some really interesting answers at that but now I have another impossible task. I have to find the exact same elder scroll that Harkon, Felldir and Gormlaith used to send Alduin forward in time. Who knows where that thing has gotten to since then? Finding any elder scroll is nearly impossible let alone finding a specific one. Apparently, this is the part where I get to put some of my opinions to the test. I'm off to the Mage's College in Solitude to see if they might know where one can be found. Maybe finding one will let me find others.

I know that the Empire has been scouring Tamriel for them for centuries and shipping them back to Cyrodiil. Who knows how many of those got shipped on to Summerset when Cyrodiil fell to the Thalmor. If I had to place a bet, I'd bet that it's no longer in Skyrim. It's in Cyrodiil or Summerset because the Thalmor found it and shipped it back to their homeland. Here's hoping that the mages have something they can tell me.

3rd of Sun's Dusk

The mages did indeed have a lead. I'm not sure how good it is, but we're heading out onto the ice pack tomorrow hunting for some mage who's been out there poking around some dwarven ruins and mucking about with their artifacts. He's supposed to be an expert on elder scrolls, so maybe he knows where I can find the right scroll. We'll ask around town before we go out blindly searching. Surely someone's seen him and maybe least what direction he comes and goes from.