Chapter 22

The winds blew swiftly, and yet softly. It was as if they had somewhere to be… but they didn't want to disturb the couple that sat over the meadow, a small distance from each other, mulling, thinking… awkward and silent. The winds knew that the two had a lot to talk about. A lot to discuss. A lot of differences to reconcile and a ton of doubts to clear. After what they had gone through, they deserved at least that.

Natsu blinked, and with each blink, he felt his eyes getting heavier and heavier. Ever since he had defeated Acnologia and had given up his powers as Ankhseram, he had found himself to be relentlessly tired and sleepy. He didn't know what was happening to him. Maybe… he wasn't what he once was. Who he once was. He was a changed man.

He yawned softly, and looked at Erza. His eyes locked at her. Her beautiful skin gleamed in the setting sun, and her hair that was over one of her shoulders tried relentlessly to escape into the winds. To be free… to be liberated and to dance till their days ended. Her tired face reflected a sad and irritated frown that made her that much prettier and beautiful. He knew that the reason behind that irritation was him. But… he didn't want to dissolve that look on her face just yet. Just a few more moments of him enjoying that adorable and mesmerising form of Erza. Just a few more moments…

Erza tamed her fluttering hair with her hand, and happened to glance at Natsu. He was smiling at her. A bright smile. A smile that contorted and played with her heart. A smile that touched her deeply. She was lost in his beauty.

Natsu's hair was longer. It reached down to his back now, and he was dressed in a plain white shirt and black pants, his feet bare. His face was sturdier, longer, gaunt. A strange pallidness surrounded his skin. A brief stubble cherished his jaw. His skin was dry and rough, filled with old cuts and bruises that were trying to heal.

Erza's lips trembled. She wanted to touch him. Her eyes gleamed and her hands shivered in exhilaration. She felt as if the winds were pushing her towards Natsu. But she couldn't touch him. Not yet. He… he had much to explain to her. For now, he was a stranger to her. A breathtakingly handsome stranger.

She looked away again. She couldn't stare at him like that. Any longer… and she would find herself jumping into his arms, forgiving him for all of his mistakes. She didn't want to do that yet. She had to act tough and stern.

Natsu tried to touch her hair, but Erza slowly turned her head away. He tried it again, and this time, she grabbed his hand.

"Natsu…" she mumbled.

Natsu pulled his hand back. "I… I can't touch you?"

Erza found her heart shattering at that question. She… wanted him to touch her. She wanted to be close to him. As close as they once used to be. Maybe… closer. But she found that impossible now. On her end, at least. Something halted her attempts at her heart trying its best at forgiving him already. Her mind and her heart were battling. Would Natsu help her win that battle? She hoped so.

She looked down and pulled her knees closer to her chest. "That's… up to you. You can't touch me unless you explain to me what…"

She trailed off in frustration. She took a deep breath and calmed herself down. Her heart was fluttering. She was so close to Natsu. And yet… she couldn't let him touch her, even though that's all she wanted.

She looked at him sternly.

"--Unless you explain to me what happened to you."

Natsu was a bit taken aback by the look that she was giving him. He looked down near his sprawled feet and caressed the grass beside him.

"What… what exactly do you mean?"

Erza felt irritated for a moment.

"What… What do I mean? What do you mean by that? I want to know how you… why… when… How… HOW YOU CAME BACK FROM THE DEAD!"

She snapped at him. Where was this anger coming from? Immediately after yelling, she felt guilt coil around her heart.

Natsu was silent. He wasn't fazed by her outburst, but he noted the point. She was upset. She was… angry. She was afraid. She was… sad. And she had every reason to be.

Natsu looked at the setting sun. Its streaks of orange light painted a vivid and strange picture on the gleaming clouds on the horizon. He wished he could paint a picture on the clouds as well… so he could tell her in a simple manner what even happened to him. It was difficult to put into words. But… it had to be done.

Natsu sighed. "Explaining everything… answering everything… That is sometimes impossible, Erza. Beyond difficult. Maybe… time will answer everything. Maybe… time will explain."

Erza narrowed her eyes. It sounded like Natsu was talking in riddles. What happened to that idiot who would always be straightforward with his explanations? Whose heart was transparent? Whose mind was open like a drawer? Whose face she could read in an instant? Where had that man gone?

Erza looked down again, and tightened her grasp around her legs that plastered against her chest. Something was breaking inside her. Something was coiling and contorting. Had she lost Natsu forever? Would he never be the same again? Where would she look for the old Natsu? The Natsu that she loved? This man next to her… could she love him too like she loved Natsu?

Tears merged in her eyes and dripped down. The green meadows before her blurred and for a moment she was blinded. Maybe… she would never see Natsu again. Maybe Natsu had truly died that day. Who had come back… was just impersonating Natsu. Natsu was gone.

She felt the stranger's hand wipe her cheeks and eyes. His touch was warm and comforting. It was containing and securing. For a moment, she forgot her pain. It was like a god's healing touch.

She suppressed a smile. She couldn't help it. She had let him touch her after all.

She looked at him, and found her eyes widening. He was giving her a cheeky smile… the smile characteristic of the old Natsu. His cheeks burnt with a beautiful pink… the same as his shabby hair. He was beautiful.

"I will tell you everything." He whispered. "Just… listen to me carefully. Believe every word that comes out of my mouth. Trust me."

Erza found herself tearing up more. His voice… deep and strange as it was… played with the strings of her heart. Maybe Natsu had changed… But maybe she could still love him.

Erza gulped and nodded through her tears. "I… I am listening."

Natsu grabbed her hand and brought it over his lap. He played softly with her fingers. Erza had let him touch her, and now there was no going back. That soft and comforting warmth that both of them were feeling from that contact, it was long overdue.

Natsu began. "Liana… was not who she seemed to be. She fooled me. She fooled you. She fooled… everyone she met in this world. She was someone else. Who? I am not sure yet. Maybe, I will never be."

Erza listened to him carefully. She herself had watched that woman fleetingly… yet closely. She had a lingering feeling in the back of her head that Liana was hiding something. Something grand. Something infinite. A secret of the highest order.

She wiped her eyes and narrowed them. "Who… who is she?"

Natsu laughed. "She… is… was… I am not sure. I am not sure if she is still alive… where is she? How is she? Is she watching me? I am not sure. She isn't of this earth. She is… beyond. Remember that goddess that Liana worshipped?"

Natsu looked at Erza.

Erza nodded. "One. The… the goddess of birth and creation. The goddess of healing and health. She… isn't as popular in the world as some of the other deities."

Natsu nodded. "Do you know why?"

Erza shook her head.

Natsu looked down at Erza's hand over his lap and intertwined his fingers with hers. Erza looked down at their hands merging.

"It's because… One is known as the mother of Acnologia. The mother of a monster. A demon. A celestial being that almost swallowed the entire world up. A fallen god that threatened to uproot the world as it stood."

Erza furrowed her brows. "Acnologia… was the son of One?"

Natsu nodded as he scaped the setting sun.

"Yes. Acnologia was One's child. The world doesn't know about this, but in its subconscious, it somehow knew that One was not to be revered and worshipped as much. That even though she can bring boons and health, she can also create misfortunes. Just like she created Acnologia."

Erza's hand that was in Natsu's grasp shivered. Acnologia… was the child of a goddess? The greatest goddess of all? How does Natsu know about this? Maybe Acnologia told him that when they fought? Is that how Acnologia had gotten his immense power?

"You… you killed Acnologia…" she muttered, her shock ringing clear on her face. "You killed a god. The child of One… how…?"

Natsu was bereft of a response. He kept quiet and stared at the setting sun. For a moment, he went back in time in his mind. His encounter with One… or Liana… in that white world that she had created. His shadowed past that he had learnt of… his fateful birth on that island 700 years ago, his unfortunate life, his dark and dreary slaughter at the hands of his own mother, his resurrection as a mindless puppet for the darkness… his fateful meeting with Igneel… his second death when he killed his own brother with his own hands… his time spent with Liana, his battle with Death. His remergence on Earth once again, and finally his battle with Acnologia. He had come back full circle.

What now? What was his purpose now? What was he to do? Who was he? Was he Etherious? Was he Ankhseram? Was he Natsu Dragneel? Confusion leapt in his mind like an agitated frog, burning and seething his mind wherever it touched.

Natsu may have been a god, the greatest god of all, but in this human form, he had seen things that… he couldn't have ever imagined. He had seen bereavement, suffering, pain, volatility, insanity… rage, power, wrath, sins… vices… demons... He had seen the true face of darkness. And he had returned. To tell the tale? But how exactly could he recount what happened with him? What even happened with him?

Natsu didn't respond. He was lost in his thoughts. His long salmon hair fluttered and danced in the evening winds. Drums and trumpets blared somewhere behind him in the town of Magnolia as the festivities continued. But he was lost somewhere far away. Away from the town. From the world. From existence.

Erza stared at his side profile worriedly. She was really missing the old Natsu now. He was truly gone. She had to face that. But this new Natsu… this man beside her, taller, skinnier, altered, more muscular, longer hair… maybe the old Natsu was still somewhere within, rolled and buried within piles of memories and thoughts.

She slowly slid her hand up his shoulder and squeezed gently. She could finally touch him.

"Natsu…?" She whispered.

Natsu looked at her, broken from his thoughts, and smiled.

"Sorry…" he released her hand from his grasp. He leaned back on the grass on his hands.

Erza watched him curiously and concernedly. She could now slowly start to understand what he might have been going through. This dark and spoilt war that they all had somehow survived… it was all centered around Natsu. What with Zeref being his brother, and him defeating Acnologia. The war was all his. The war… was his belonging. He was invariably this war. Therefore, all of its horrors, all its terrors, it's setbacks, it's traumas and tragedies, it all must be affecting him more than others. More than anyone. For everyone else, it was just another war. For Natsu, this battle was a series of streaks of self discovery and self development.

Natsu had changed… but what did he change for?

She knew the answer—he changed to fight this war. To fight for his people. To save his people. To save the world. He sacrificed his life and so much more for them. For her. That's why he had changed. His old self… he had to sacrifice that. He had broken through the cocoon.

Erza bit her lip anxiously, and slowly trailed her hand to Natsu's head. Her hand trembled before touching the back of his head, but she did nonetheless. She pulled on his head gently.

Natsu looked at her, slightly surprised. He didn't resist. Whatever she was doing, he needed that.

Erza planted his head softly over her lap, and managed a smile at him. She caressed his hair, then his cheeks… like she used to. This didn't mean that everything between them was back to normal… but this was a start.

"Better?" She asked.

Natsu smiled and nodded. "Thank you."

Erza grabbed his hand. "Why… why don't you tell me the rest of what happened? Like this?" Erza wanted that.

Natsu took a deep breath. He lifted his warm hand to caress Erza's cheek lovingly.

"Where was I?"

Erza reminded him. "You were… talking about Liana."

Natsu's smile faded. "Liana is One, Erza."

Erza narrowed her eyes. She stopped caressing Natsu's cheek. "What?"

Natsu nodded. "Yes. That was what was amiss about her. She was One all along. The goddess One, incarnated amongst us humans in a human form to serve a special purpose."

Erza's lips trembled and separated. "Liana… was One? She… was the goddess that she worshipped? I… I don't understand."

Natsu smiled. "This world is much stranger than we think, Erza. Bigger… wider. Stranger. Just as demons, dragons and beasts travel and trample this world with their feet… gods do too. Gods walk amongst us. They see everything, they know everything. And… they keep the world going… somehow. What if I told you that Ankhseram himself descended down to earth to fight this war?"

Erza shook her head slightly, never removing her eyes off of Natsu's. "I… I would find that hard to believe. I… I didn't see him. I didn't see the gods. I didn't see Ankhseram or One fighting this war. All I…"

Erza gulped, and placed her hand over Natsu's chest, feeling his heartbeats. He was alive. He was with her.

"All I saw was you. You going beyond any perceivable limit to protect others. To save others. To fight for others. You… gave this war everything you had… and so much more. You gave us everything, Natsu. This world will never truly know what it owes you. I… I owe you my life."

Erza's eyes gleamed against the evening sunlight.

Natsu stared at her, lost in her words. "No… it… it was my duty to fight in this war. It was my duty to defeat Acnologia."

Erza clenched her teeth and shook her head. "You didn't owe anyone anything. You weren't obligated to fight in this war. Yet you did."

Natsu exhaled restlessly, and got off Erza's lap. He gulped and clenched his fists as he sat facing his back to Erza.

Erza watched him in concern.

"No, Erza… I… I was destined to battle. It's… it's tough to explain."

Erza slowly approached his back and sent her arms around his waist, and placed her jaw over his shoulder. She squeezed and shut her eyes. Tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Explain to me. Please, Natsu. I will listen. I will listen to you talk for hours. For days. I won't get tired. Just… don't go away again."

Natsu felt Erza's arms coiled around his waist, with never an intent of letting him go. He was trapped with Erza. A trap… that he desired to be in more than anything else in the world.

He slid his hand up her arm, and grabbed her wrist, pulling it tighter around him.

"Do you remember how we went to the temple of Ankhseram to light his candles? How… how everyone could light their candles except me? How it was impossible for me? How… when Etherious was released and I lost my arm, it was replaced by an arm made out of those candles? How… how I could use those stark black flames that belonged to Ankhseram?"

Erza opened her eyes.

"I… I remember everything."

She breathed, and added. "Do… do you know why it happened to you?"

Natsu released Erza's wrist and let his hand fall to the ground.

"I… I am Ankhseram, Erza."

She stood facing his back. He had walked away from her, facing the sunset alone.

Erza's ears still rang with the last sentence he had uttered.

"You… you are Ankhseram?"

Natsu stood still. His long hair was the only part of his body that moved. The man who once couldn't stand still in one place for more than a few seconds… was now cold and still as a statue.

At that moment, when Erza was supposed to listen to Natsu talk… her mind went in circles. One… Ankhseram… Acnologia.

Liana was One. Acnologia was her child. And Ankhseram…

Liana had once told Erza that Ankhseram and One were married. That would mean Liana was Ankhseram's wife. And if Natsu was Ankhseram… if what he said was the truth… then…

Erza shook her head slowly at first… but it intensified. "No… you… you belong to me! I won't lose you to someone else!"

She walked to Natsu, almost with an intent to kill. The fact that Natsu was Ankhseram didn't shock her as much as the fact that Natsu… was married to Liana? What was this convulsed and convoluted world she was living in? Her mind wasn't working correctly.

She grabbed Natsu's shoulders and turned him around to face her. Her face was contorted as she wept with hurt and maim.

"I… I will fight Liana! She won't take you from me. I will show everyone in the world that I love you more. That I love you the most!"

Natsu faced her, at a loss for words. He couldn't believe how quickly she had believed him. He had been dreading this moment forever to tell Erza his true identity. But she had trusted him in a wink. And moreover… She was worried that he belonged to someone else? Natsu didn't need any more signs to know that Erza was the one for him.

He loved this woman. Beyond death. Beyond life. Beyond time. Beyond existence. He loved her so much it was difficult to truly explain. No words had yet been created that could explain what he felt for this woman who stood before him.

He quickly closed the gap between them and merged his lips with hers.

Erza's eyes widened. At that moment, who was exactly kissing her? Was it Etherious that was kissing her? Was it Zeref's brother? Was it Ankhseram? Was it Acnologia's father that was kissing her? Was it Liana's husband?

She struggled. A stranger was kissing her. Such a close contact between her and someone… was only reserved for Natsu. Natsu alone had this right. This privilege. No one else. This stranger didn't deserve any of it.

She grabbed his shoulders, and tried to push him away. But Natsu wouldn't budge. He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer. Erza's eyes flowed, and all she saw was the stranger's pink hair fluttering before them.

"Mmmmm…!" She mumbled in frustration. She clenched her fists and started to hit Natsu's head with it. But… it wasn't as forceful as she could truly manage.

Why? Because she knew that this was right? That this was correct? That this was optimal? Was there even a slightest bit of her heart that was… revelling in this feeling? Which knew that this was what she was supposed to be doing? Which knew that this feeling of her lips passionately locking with Natsu's was what she wanted? But… this wasn't Natsu. This was a stranger… a stranger that only wore Natsu's skin and was doing a very poor job at impersonating him.

Slowly… her hits against Natsu's head started to lower in strength and intensity and frequency. Not that it was very effective to start with. But… slowly… patiently… they vanished. Soon, Erza circled her arms around Natsu's shoulders and pulled him closer to her.

Her eyes wouldn't stop flowing. Her heart was breaking. She was kissing someone else… while her mind only thought of Natsu. His carefree and impatient attitude towards life, his loud and obnoxious behaviour that had stolen her heart from her, his clueless and idiotic endeavours that sealed her fate permanently with him and with no one else…

But as much as her heart broke, this stranger was able to build her back up stronger.

This feeling… of his lips merging with hers… the soft and gentle sensation of it. The quiet and yet chaotic storm of feelings bubbling within her… somehow… she realised that it was all she had ever wanted.

She slowly shut her flowing eyes… and returned the stranger's gensture lovingly.

'I… I am sorry… Natsu.'

I think we will do one more chapter. Then this fic is done.