Lots of dialogue in this chapter featuring our first tavern scene plus some tension building between our Herald and Commander ;)

Please leave a review if you're enjoying it! It would mean the world to me

—-

Chapter 6:

The same familiar dread creeped in Lara's body. She was back in Haven amongst the people she failed. These people expected to be saved by her but she didn't know how she was going to stop that future from happening. The urge to stay in her cabin and hide was overwhelming but she had to fight it. She needed to be their Herald whether she welcomed the title or not.

She was face to face with Cullen when she arrived back in Haven. It was the first time she had seen him properly in weeks. A sharp pain hit her when she looked at him and she couldn't help but notice the bags under his eyes were still heavy. Those golden honey eyes melted her, his blonde unruly hair complimented them. Despite his handsome appearance, when Lara looked deeper, she noticed there was something going on with him that she couldn't put her finger on. She wouldn't dare ask. The less connection they had the better.

"Welcome back," He told her. It was the first few words he spoke to her in a while.

It replayed in her head two days later as she forced herself out of her cabin and into the Haven sun. She had a meeting with Solas to attend to and the elf did not appreciate tardiness. She had to trust Solas and let him in. It was the only way he could help with her nightmares.

"There she is. Finally leaving her sanctuary. I thought I'd have to talk you out of there again," Dorian smiled at her.

"You can thank Solas for that," Lara answered, making her way over to him.

"You can thank him for me. Before you prance around in the Fade, might I tempt you in watching some soldiers train. Some even have their armor off," He winked and made his way down to the double doors that led to where the recruits trained.

"Are you using my soldiers as eye candy, Dorian?"

"I would never. How little you think of me," He deadpanned.

Lara couldn't force a smile and just shook her head.

The doors were not closed all the way. Dorian took up most of the space looking through the gap at the recruits training. Some of them were young, and some older. They weren't the best trained army but Lara knew Cullen was doing everything in his power to prepare them for battle. As much as she hated Cullen for who he was, the recruits listened to him and respected him. He earned his title as Commander. Unlike her.

"Oh! And there goes your dashing Commander in battle," Dorian whispered aloud.

"You have a shield! Use it or you'll be dead! Again!" She heard Cullen's voice. He was close by.

Lara squeezed in to see what the fuss was. The sight before caught her breath, her heart beating loudly in her ears. There he stood, sword in hand and shirtless. The sun beaming on his skin outlining his muscles, reflective of his years of training. Scars glistened across his body, each one telling a story of his time as a Templar. A layer of sweat covered him along with a trail of golden hair running down his stomach. Her body froze at the sight of him but heat pooled in her lower half. She had never admired a man to this extent. Never one she had been so interested in and of course it was an enemy.

Other recruits were shirtless or wore a tunic but Cullen's body was all she could focus on. This was a different level of observing him. It was wrong but she couldn't look away. The way his body moved and his muscles flexed as he fought and defended. His movements were fluid almost as if second nature to him.

"Are we spying on our recruits?" Varric spoke from behind her, forcing her to look away, cursing herself inwardly.

"Who said spying? We're observing," Dorian answered unbothered, still looking through the gap.

Varric let out a chuckle and Lara couldn't stop herself from looking back at Cullen. He couldn't see her. He couldn't stare back at her. At least from here, she was safe from anyone knowing she was admiring her Commander.

So she thought.

"Why are we hiding? Let's watch them fight," Iron Bull spoke loudly.

"No wait –" Varric shouted.

Before Lara knew what was happening, the door swung open and she lost her footing. She couldn't stop herself from falling and her cover was hidden. Both Dorian and herself flew forward onto the ground causing a commotion. The clangs of swords and shields stopped and the outside was almost way too quiet. Lara kept her head down, feeling anger and embarrassment fill her body. She could feel all eyes on her and wished the ground would go up in flames and burn her where she lay.

Please someone save me from this…

"Vishante Kaffas!" She heard Dorian hiss. She didn't know what that translated to but she assumed it was something bad. He must be as embarrassed as she is.

"What is the meaning of this?" She heard Solas's voice to her left and was grateful but he was too far away. She would have to face the stares of the recruits and her Commander to get to him. Footsteps neared her and she held her breath.

Oh no…

"Herald. Are you alright? Can I help?" It was Cullen. He lowered himself down and she could see the shadow of his hand held out to her. The smell of sweat and elderflower hit her. It was too much. He was too close. She didn't dare look at him. She needed to get out of here.

"I'm perfectly capable of getting up myself," She spoke through gritted teeth, letting the anger wash away the embarrassment. She pushed herself up, not daring to face him but she saw him retract quickly at her reaction, his hand scratching behind his neck to cover the rejection.

"Solas. Lessons, now!" She called out storming past the elf to his quarters by the alchemist. She could hear Dorian exchanging heated words with Iron Bull, who seemed to think this was funny.

—-

That night after she worked with Solas, she fell into a dark slumber. Her dreams were weird and pieces of different puzzles played together. It was still more welcoming than the terrors she re-lived each night. No bodies of lyrium, no mining corpses, no deaths. A nightmare demon lurked, playing on her fears. She needed to conquer it in the Fade in order to sleep. If Solas saw Cullen in her nightmares, he never spoke of it.

She spent the next few days with Solas. Their walks were now fueled with conversation. She confided in him everything she saw in the future, leaving out the details regarding Cullen. That would stay between her and Dorian. She practiced her magic again, her mana depleted from exhaustion and lack of sleep. Solas scolded her in his eloquent way but Lara didn't fight him. It was negligent of her to carry on the way she was since Redcliffe.

A small part of her was starting to feel like herself again. She should've allowed Solas to help earlier but leave it to her to make things difficult. She made her way to the War Room to speak with Leliana about the mages when some voices stopped her. She hid behind a pillar to listen in.

"...I'm not sure what's gotten into her. Ever since Redcliffe she's changed. Especially around me. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this," Cullen whispered loudly and Lara's eyes widened. He was talking about her.

"There isn't much I can tell you. She would personally feed me to the Breach if I told you," Dorian responded and Lara was grateful she could trust Dorian. Her secret was safe with him.

"Does it have to do with me? Or everyone? I don't know…what happened in that future?" Cullen sighed.

"All I can tell you is that everyone was involved. The whole world swallowed whole. We experienced this Elder One's future and not one portion of it was pretty. Perhaps when she is ready, she will tell you. But for now, my advice would be to give her some time," Dorian responded, leaving the Commander alone to his thoughts.

—-

He noticed her. He paid attention. She didn't know how she felt about that. It had been days since she was embarrassed in front of him, yet he was thinking about her. Once he was out of sight, she snuck out from behind her pillar and rushed to the War Room.

"Herald. Glad you can join us," Leliana greeted her.

Josephine and Fiona were also standing there, nodding at her.

"We need to discuss the mages. They have no instructions and we need to prepare them for the Breach," Lara started.

"Correct. We have secured an extra lyrium supply for them just to be sure. I'd rather we be prepared and have them protected," Lelianna answered.

"I'm sorry Fiona. I left your people unattended. They should've been given instructions earlier. I haven't been myself…"

"It hasn't gone unnoticed. We are glad that you are with us now. Leliana mentioned you wanted a school for the mages," Josephine started.

"Is that possible? I don't want to use the mages for the Breach only to send them back to a Circle. It's no place for them. The Inquisition is to restore peace, yes? There is no peace between templars and mages. Putting them back into the hands of templars would only fuel another war," Lara continued.

"It seems we have found what the Herald is passionate about," Leliana smiled.

"I didn't want any of this shit but I'm stuck here. So I might as well do something useful with my time here," Lara bit back. "I resent the Circles and what they represent. What it's done to me. We agreed an alliance with the mages so we need to keep that alliance. Would you be willing to set up a college here for them Fiona?"

"The mages would be happy to hear of your arrangement," Fiona nodded.

"This would need to be far away from the templars of course. Let them get used to the idea of mages practicing magic first without them losing their minds," Josephine added, scribbling away.

"Yes, that brings me to the current issue," Fiona spoke.

Lara saw Leliana look at her cautiously. She looked back from Fiona to Leliana to Josephine. They looked at her almost dreading how to deliver the news.

"Why are you looking at me like I'm going to explode?" She asked.

"Because you might," Leliana answered calmly.

What now? What could possibly make me explode?

"While you were occupied after Redcliffe, there was a temporary decision made that the mages be kept under templar watch…" Fiona started.

"What did you just say…" Lara whispered, disbelief washing over her.

"The mages are not happy. We agreed to an alliance. Not to be kept under templar watch as if we are prisoners. They're worried this isn't temporary, as am I. It's only a matter of time before tension boils over and fights occur," Fiona finished.

"Who ordered this!" Lara raised her voice, already knowing who would have done this.

"I believe Cullen has. He said until you came back to your senses," Josephine stopped scribbling.

"Mother…" She cursed under her breath, slamming the door behind her on her way out.

Fuck him. She was exploding all right. It seems this was the very thing that casted that dark cloud away and brought the present version of Lara back to reality.

—-

"Oi lass. Where you going?" A man in armor stood up from his spot immediately.

Fucking templars.

"What are you going to do? Arrest me? Out of my way," She pushed past him.

"Name's Rylen. Second-in-command. Cullen's occupied if you're looking for him…" He was running after her, trying to stop her, but she was on a warpath.

She rounded the corner past the tents and saw him speaking with the recruits. Seeing him flared her anger even more. She made her way towards him, not caring about the recruits.

"How dare you!" She yelled at him loudly, her voice shaking with anger.

Cullen froze, staring at her. The recruits looked back from Cullen to her. She was glaring daggers at him. All feelings she may have had towards him evaporated. Good. It would never be between them. They were enemies. That's where they stood.

"I tried to stop her, Cullen," Rylen spoke from behind her, panting.

"Herald, now is not the time…" He tried to find his voice, confused as to what was going on.

"I don't care what you think the time is! Who are you to give orders without my permission!" There was no stopping her.

Cullen ran a hand through his hair roughly.

"Dismissed!" He yelled out to the recruits and started making his way over to her.

"This is a private matter. Not in front of my recruits…"

"Sounds like your problem," She answered coldly.

He glared at her and started walking to where Lara assumed his tent was. She gave Rylen a look before following Cullen closely. He wasn't getting away with this. Cassandra was there watching but she didn't say a word almost as if she knew this was coming.

Once inside his tent, Cullen sat down at his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I presume this is about the templars guarding the rebel mages," He sighed.

"Oh, look. He has a brain," She wasn't going to be nice to him. Not after this.

His hand shot away from his face and he stared at her. His eyes heavy, his skin almost pale making the color of his eyes brighter. He looked almost ill but Lara could not even focus on that.

"Don't test me," He snapped.

"You already tested me! Don't tell me not to test you after you've already done so to me," She was shaking from anger.

Cullen shot up from his seat, "Have you any idea the state you were in after Redcliffe? You were in no shape to make a decision -"

"So you make one for me?! One that only has YOUR interest in mind! I agreed to an alliance with them, not a prison sentence! That should've been honored!" Lara was shouting now. How dare he use that against her.

"I wanted to be sure you were making the right decision! You weren't yourself. I've seen trauma. I know what trauma does to people -" He was just as angry but there was a touch of softness to his voice.

"Don't you dare! You know nothing of what I saw. Of what I endured. You weren't there so don't insult me by pretending you were," She cut him off, not letting him finish that sentence.

The lump in her throat returned. Tears pricked at her eyes but she didn't dare let them fall. Not in front of him. It would weaken her anger. He didn't need to see that side of her. She wouldn't let him. He was to be kept at a distance.

He stared at her, not sure how to answer. He ran a hand through his hair, his expression softening.

"I meant no insult. I only…" He let out a sigh. "Nevermind. What would you have me do?"

"Remove the templars away from the mages."

"Leave the rebel mages unguarded? Have you lost your mind!" Cullen's eyes widened in fear. He seemed panicked. There was something behind that but Lara had no interest in thinking about that at the moment.

"Oh yes, because your Templar buddies have proven to be doing the Maker's work when left unattended," Lara rolled her eyes.

"Do you know what will happen if they are not watched? The risks that are involved with that?" Cullen asked, moving from behind his desk to the front where Lara stood.

"This is not a Circle! Nor will we be creating one here in Haven. I came from a Circle. I resent it. For so long mages have been oppressed. Taken from their families. Treated as prisoners. A mage steps a toe out of line and they're punished for it. A Templar abuses their power, and they're just simply doing their job," Lara glared at him. Anger spread in her at everything he represented. She didn't know much about his time as Templar or for how long he had been one, but he still was part of what oppressed her kind.

"I am not abusing my power! My job as Commander is to train our men, keep everyone safe. I am not a Templar anymore!" He raised his voice, getting closer to her but Lara noticed him stagger.

"Don't lie to me! You don't stop being a Templar. You're bound by the Order," She hissed at him.

How dare he think of me as an idiot…as if I don't know.

"I left! That is no longer part of my life. Are you so determined to hold that against me forever? I can show -" He grabbed her arm gently and immediately without thinking, she froze his arm in ice. She used magic on a Templar. He stiffened, his expression pure horror. Lara took a few steps back in disbelief, waiting for her magic to disappear but it never did. Instead, she ended the spell.

He didn't silence me…He didn't even react…How is that possible?

The silence in Cullen's tent was deafening. This was a moment where Bianca could slice the tension between them. Neither of them spoke. Cullen held his arm after the ice had melted, still horrified. Lara stared at him, but he didn't look back. She couldn't find the words to speak. This error could be detrimental. She could already hear Solas scolding her for using magic in this way especially when mages weren't trusted. Cullen slowly made his way to his desk and sat down.

Why isn't he silencing me?

She still couldn't speak. Her voice disappeared, her mind confused. Any chance of an alliance between the two of them melted away with the ice on his arm. Not that Lara wanted to, it was better he be kept at a distance to protect herself but she was going to make an enemy out of him if she wasn't careful.

"Forgive me. Have you come to a decision regarding the mages?" He didn't look at her.

"A college. For them to study. Away from the templars," Lara answered, not able to string a sentence. She couldn't take her eyes off him, as if she were waiting for him to silence her.

"As you wish, Herald. I will inform my men," He said softly.

Suddenly, he lifted his head and looked at her. Honey eyes staring into emerald ones. Pain written all over his face almost as if he was recalling a memory. She hurt him. She couldn't undo it. Both wanted to speak but neither did. She slowly took a few steps back, waiting for him to say something. He didn't. She turned on her heel and rushed out of his tent, needing fresh air. The smell of him was intoxicating her.

Oakmoss. Elderflower.

The scents came to her mind now of all moments. That was the other scent she couldn't pick up before. It was clear to her now. She shook her head, regret filling her body, leaving a bad taste in her mouth. He could have silenced her but didn't. She couldn't understand why. Slowly, she made her way past the place where she fell in front of Cullen shirtless and through the doors.

—-

"My dear, why are you pale again?" Dorian addressed her while sitting down, two glasses of wine in hand.

She sat at the tavern with him after he convinced her she needed a drink or two.

"I fought with the Commander…" She started, looking into her glass.

"Please don't tell me that's the reason."

"Dorian, I used magic against him. I was so angry. I lashed at him but instead of pushing him away, magic came out," She looked at him exasperated.

"Magic on a templar? My darling Herald is back after all. How bold of you! Be grateful you're not in a Circle," Dorian took a sip.

"He didn't even silence me. He froze. Did nothing…I don't understand," Lara looked away confused.

"He froze? How un-Templar-like of him. That is rather odd now that you mention."

"I hope you're not using your magic inappropriately," Solas was now behind her.

Lara turned around, rolling her eyes, "It was an accident. I was angry. Instead of pushing him away, magic came out."

"Inexcusable. Mages are already not trusted, and you are giving them more reason to believe that. Who did you use magic on?"

"Our dashing Commander," Dorian answered, taking another sip.

"On an ex-Templar? Being reckless will not serve you. Especially in your position as Herald," Solas did not look happy with her.

"What brings you here anyways? Surely this is not your scene. Or do you need a drink after all that prancing in the Fade? Do the demons not supply you with drinks?" Dorian smirked.

Solas glared at him. "Sorry I can't hear you over your outfit."

"Come on you two. Play nicely now," Varric's voice boomed.

Iron Bull was behind him bringing more drinks to the table.

"Less yapping. More putting hair on your backs," He spoke, nodding his head. Lara still wasn't sure if he was winking.

Dorian and Lara looked over at the drinks Bull put down. What she thought was ale, turned out to be some other liquid. She did not want to know what was in them but it smelled foul.

"What in the Maker's name is this concoction supposed to be? It smells foul. Could you at least move it away from my side of the table?" Dorian looked at the drinks in disgust.

"Some strong shit. Put some hair on your back, Dorian," Bull responded and started gulping one down.

Dorian scoffed and continued drinking his wine.

"Got room for one more?" Blackwall walked over.

"Of course. The more, the merrier. Shit's too serious around here. It's great stuff for my stories but we need some drinks every now and then," Varric responded.

Blackwall sat down with them and took one of the mugs. He let out a cough after smelling it. "Maker's Balls. What is this?"

"According to Iron Bull, it's called hair on your back. Strong shit. Won't tell us what's in it," Lara responded smiling.

Blackwall shrugged and started drinking. Iron Bull slammed his fist down on the table.

"That's what I'm talking about! I like him," Bull exclaimed.

"Can you at least explain to me how he's an ex-Templar? I don't understand," Lara turned to Solas.

"It is not my story to tell. He's here isn't he? He's not among the Templars killing the mages in the Hinterlands. He's here, accepting that his Herald is a mage. Shouldn't that tell you enough?" Solas answered, still looking cross with her.

Lara sunk in her seat. She hated that Solas had a point. He was here and he brought Templars with him who believed in the Inquisition. Not the Chantry. Not the Circles. But a second chance.

"You really know how to make an enemy, my dear. His past is irrelevant. What matters is he's here making a difference. Trying to restore order in a world that has seemingly turned to chaos. Are you so bent on holding his past against him?" Dorian swirled his glass.

Lara looked up at him, "That's the same thing he asked me…" She whispered. Dorian stopped swirling his glass and sighed.

"You seem to underestimate the importance of your position. We can only restore order with an alliance. How can the mages and templars even attempt to be civil when their leaders are fighting amongst themselves?" Solas carried on.

Fucking shit. Why does Solas always have to be right? Ugh…I can't even argue that.

Lara took a gulp of her wine. She needed to numb herself after the sting of Solas's statement. Especially because it was true. How could she lead an alliance amongst the mages and templars or even get them to tolerate each other if she and her Commander hated each other? They were to set an example that a second chance is possible. That an alliance is possible. She had to show that mages can be trusted to study magic and be free, and here she was, turning her Commander to ice out of anger. Using magic against him. As a weapon.

Shit. I fucked up…

"Stop that! We've only just managed to get you out of that cabin of yours. I came here for a drink and some company, not self-loathing," Dorian eyed her, watching her sink in her seat.

"Hope you like me better with a little hair on my back then," Lara smirked and grabbed one the mugs Bull brought.

She held her breath and chugged it down. She slammed the mug on the table and gave out a huge shudder. She couldn't tell if the smell or taste was worse. It wasn't any smoother going down.

"Holy…fuck…" She spluttered between coughs. Solas patted her back while the others clapped and cheered.

"Alright Boss! Now it's a party!" Bull exclaimed.

The table erupted in laughter and conversation broke out. Lara was grateful to be out of the firing line for tonight. The realization of what she did hit harder after Solas's words but he was right. She had no idea how she was going to face Cullen next or how to even fix what she did. Would he tell the other advisors what happened? Or would he keep it between them? Either way, she couldn't leave it like this between them, even if he was her enemy. He was the Commander of her forces and her advisor. They needed to have a working relationship if nothing else.

For now, Lara enjoyed the good energy and conversation of the table even if it included Solas and Dorian throwing jabs at each other. Her mood lightened. She couldn't remember the last time she was giddy like this. Even if it was with a table of people she happened to stumble upon the last few months, she was grateful for them. For once, she felt like she could do this. That she didn't have to be alone. It was okay to let people in. Or that could just be the alcohol talking.