A/N: To guest reviewer Terrence: Thanks for the info on transplants. I'd never heard that before. We'll just have to see what happens to Deeks, but I do have several chapter already written which I'll cross post as they come along. Thanks as always for your thoughtful comments.
"A transplant," Kensi repeated hollowly.
"Yes, I'm sorry," Dr. Nehme confirmed.
"Um, so, uh, what do we need to do?" Deeks asked, only tripping over the first few words. Vaguely, Kensi wondered how he could be so composed. Even now. "I have to get on a list, right?"
"Yes, we'll have you registered for the donor list, but if you have any family members and close friends who'd be willing, we can test them for matches as well."
"No," Deeks said immediately. "That's not a possibility."
"Deeks!" Kensi protested, shocked out of her numbness. "Anyone on the team would say yes in a—"
"No. I'm not putting them through that. They'd feel obligated and I don't want that."
"Ok, just hold on a second." Pressing her hands over her mouth, Kensi paused to collect herself before her fear and frustration spilled over onto Deeks. "Deeks just started dialysis and the medications a few weeks ago. Dr. Nehme, you said yourself that it could take time to see results. Aren't we rushing things here?" She knew she sounded accusatory, but she couldn't help it.
"Yes, I did," he agreed. His tone was unbearably gentle. "There hasn't been any improvement, and normally there would be some change by this point." He glanced between them and folded his hands together. "I know this is a lot to process, so I'll give you two a couple days to discuss and decide how you'd like to move forward. For today though, we need to get a few things settled."
Kensi sat wordlessly, gripping Deeks hand while Dr. Nehme ran through everything they would need to complete before leaving his office and then in the next several days. She felt numb again with the overwhelming amount of information and terms…percentages of survival rates that were honestly terrifying to even consider.
Before the left they both stopped in the lab for blood work (Kensi ignoring Deeks' protests) to start tissue typing and other blood tests that would be used to check donor compatibility.
Deeks stayed silent while he drove them home from the hospital. Kensi couldn't tell if he was angry with her or simply processing everything. At the very least, he didn't resist when she twined her fingers through his.
"Deeks—"
"Kensi, I don't want to hear about it. I'm not asking the others to check for compatibility," he interrupted before she could even finish, voice quiet yet firm.
"You won't have to," Kensi said. "The second we tell them, you know they're going to volunteer. Every single one of the team would happily give you one of their kidneys, Deeks. They care about you."
"Which is exactly why we're not telling them it's an option." He crossed his arms, still just as stubborn even with the strain showing around his eyes, in the slight hunch of his shoulders. "The chances that any of them would be a good match is low, Kensi." He ran his hands through his hair and flashed her a tired smile. "Besides, this might not even be necessary."
"Yes, yes it is." Shaking her head, Kensi grasped his hands again and brought them between their bodies. "Babe, you heard what the doctor said. Your kidney is failing way faster than he anticipated."
"He also said that a transplant wasn't absolutely necessary," Deeks reminded her, and her brows furrowed.
"No, he said if we couldn't find a donor, you could live with one kidney for a while," Kensi corrected him, not quite believing what she was hearing. "He also said that since we don't know the cause of your kidney disease, the other one is likely to fail too. Or be put under too much strain without a transplant."
"I don't know, I've beaten pretty touch odds before." He shrugged with forced nonchalance and a half-smirk that made Kensi almost want to slap him.
"That's not funny, Deeks," Kensi said sharply.
"I know," he murmured, expression shifting to one of contrition. "I'm sorry."
"It's ok." Pressing her lips together, she dragged in a steadying breath, reminding herself that Deeks was just as overwhelmed as she was. Freeing one of her hands, she pressed it to the center of his chest, reassured by the steady beat. "You need to promise me something though, Baby," she added.
"Anything," he said automatically.
"Promise me that you'll keep fighting, no matter how hard it gets."
He swallowed heavily at her entreaty, looking down and then up with suddenly shiny eyes, and nodded once, the movement jerky.
"Ok." Then he crushed her against his chest, arms vice-like around her.
A/N: Just to repeat, I am not a medical professional. I have followed the stories of some people who have organ failure, but not enough to be fully accurate. I'm also taking some liberties to suit my own purposes.