I stumbled back toward my truck in a daze. At any moment, Laurent might change his mind—hunger overcoming self-preservation—and he might chase me down again. My scent clearly marked the trail. I had no chance of outrunning him if he decided to follow me, but some primal instinct bid me to hurry. My haste made me even clumsier than usual.
A bird call rang out suddenly, directly overhead. I started in mid-stride, my boot catching on a stone, and toppled over. I picked myself back up for the fifth time, running my fingers along my cheek to check whether the stick I'd fallen onto had drawn blood. Parts of my hair were matted and torn from catching on the brush. Both knees were long since scraped. But even though a drunkard could have made it through the forest with fewer stumbles, I stayed on course, and reached the road before dusk.
I clambered into the driver's seat and slammed the door. Irrationally, I felt safer—though no metal frame would protect me if a vampire were on my tail. I took a deep breath, then started the engine. It roared to life, a comfortingly familiar sound. As I executed a too-wide U-turn and accelerated up to speed, the fear receded for the first time in hours.
In its place, uncertainty flooded in.
If I went through with this, I wouldn't be able to live with Charlie anymore, not unless I wanted him to become a snack next time I was hungry. I shuddered at the idea. I would lose Jacob, the only one who made me feel alive nowadays—if I hadn't already lost him, that is. I wouldn't graduate high school. I would never again see Renee and Phil, or Angela and Ben, or even Mike. All the little things in life would be gone, none of them important by themselves, but leaving a gaping hole with nothing to replace them. I would not see the Cullens again; although I would join their world, they would resent me for changing myself against their wishes. It wasn't like I had any idea where to find them anyway.
In defiance of this logic, a tiny sliver of hope crept into my heart that maybe as a vampire I would be good enough for him. I'd be beautiful and smart and graceful. I would no longer hold him back. But I knew that wasn't how love worked. Romeo would never abandon Juliet for being too weak. He could only be torn away from passing fancies, like his infatuation with Rosaline in Act I. I ripped out the hopeful feeling like a weed, before it could spread any further.
It was too late. The chasm in my heart was burning again, fueled by that brief hope. I pulled the truck over and sat, gasping, trying to numb the pain again.
Was I like Rosaline? Ignoring, of course, the fact that she hadn't loved Romeo…. All this time, I'd imagined what Juliet would do if her love moved on. I'd assumed I was a title character. But I'd never done anything protagonist-worthy. I had been protected by others, as part of their plotline, but their story had moved on. I was an empty façade of a character, a shell left behind when the narrative didn't include me anymore.
No. If I wasn't a main character yet, I would just have to become one. I would be strong, and fast, and able to protect the people I loved. A fairy tale princess needed a prince, but maybe I could be the star of a superhero novel. I chuckled hoarsely at the idea of myself fighting crime in Seattle.
The pain abated enough that I could resume driving.
Ten minutes later, I was on the road to the hospital. My resolve wavered as I drove past the turnoff that would take me to Charlie's house, but I kept the steering wheel firmly centered. There would be plenty of time for indecision later. If I wanted the option to change, I needed a vial of Laurent's venom… and for that, I needed a vial. I also needed some serious painkillers, because I knew the transformation would be agonizing, and I was pretty sure I couldn't buy those over the counter. I didn't feel great about stealing from a hospital, but it was the only plan I could think of.
I pulled into my now-familiar parking spot outside Forks Hospital. The last time we'd come here after an ill-fated motorcycle outing, Jacob had teased me about our frequent visits. "I'm surprised they haven't designated a spot just for you yet," he had said as he helped me out of the car. I had snorted. Now, after eight miserable days with no word from him, the memory brought tears to my eyes.
I blinked them back and headed inside. Dr. Gerandy, who manned the evening shift since Carlisle had left, looked unsurprised to see me. "Hey, Bella. Did you trip and fall again?" The last time we'd come in, he'd started to sound a bit skeptical of the repeated excuse, but this time my scraped palms and twig-strewn hair seemed to convince him.
I accepted the excuse gratefully. "Yeah. The scrapes aren't bad, but I've been feeling a little dizzy since I got back up, and I'm worried it might have reaggravated my concussion," I lied.
He immediately entered full-on doctor mode. "Let's get you to the examination room," he said, abandoning the front desk and leading me down an off-white hallway.
Once we got there, he took his time checking me over, shining a light in each eye and asking me questions. I answered on autopilot. Most of my attention was occupied with finding a plan to get rid of him so that I could steal supplies from the back room. Could I tell him that Jacob was still on the trail with a broken leg? No, he'd likely contact the on-call doctor for any emergencies outside the hospital.
"You seem fine, but if you're feeling dizzy, you should rest. Try to stay out of the woods for a bit, Bella," Dr. Gerandy concluded, turning to the wall to hang his stethoscope back up.
"Thanks, Doc," I mumbled. I was out of time, and I still hadn't come up with a good way to get him to leave me unattended, so I went with the first thing that popped into my head. "Um, one more thing, while I'm here?"
He looked back at me, inviting me to continue.
"I've been really tired recently, and I was wondering if I'm iron deficient, or something. Could we do a blood test?"
Now the doctor looked really surprised—it was well known among the hospital staff that I hated needles and blood. He recovered his composure quickly. "Sure thing, Bella. We'll have to send the samples to a different hospital, but I can draw the blood here."
While he rummaged through the drawers looking for a needle, I berated myself. Couldn't I have thought of a better plan? It would be hard to carry out my mission while trying not to faint. But it was too late to back out now, so I held my breath and looked away as a sharp prick pierced my inner elbow. Soon (but not as soon as I would have liked), Dr. Gerandy was slapping a bandaid on my arm and sealing the sample. I blinked back the black spots in my vision and stood up. Still not breathing through my nose, I forced a smile and wave. "Thank you. Have a good night!"
He held the door for me, and we both left the examination room. I turned down the hallway toward the building entrance. As I'd hoped, he went the opposite direction, carrying my blood sample to store it in a back room. Instead of pushing open the double doors to the waiting room and front desk, I ducked sideways into a single-occupancy bathroom. I leaned unsteadily against the sink and took a deep breath. Then I waited.
Four minutes later, I heard the double doors open and close. Dr. Gerandy had resumed his position at the front desk. With any luck, he believed I'd left the building.
I slowly pushed down the handle on the bathroom door, timing it so that the click of the latch would be covered by the noise of the other doors swinging shut. Then I crept out, slowly letting the bathroom door close. I carried my shoes, and my socks were noiseless on the tile floor. Forget being a superhero: I was pretty much a world-class spy already.
The back rooms were further away from the desk, so I didn't need to open them quite as painstakingly. I was suddenly grateful that all the doctors here were human. If Carlisle still worked here, sneaking past his enhanced hearing would be impossible. I paused, waiting for the pain in my chest that accompanied reminders of the Cullens, but it was muted. Somehow, it didn't hurt quite so much to think about him now that I would be joining his world.
The Forks hospital was small. It only took me about ten minutes to find everything I wanted, even in my dizzy post-blood-draw state. First I grabbed the vial that I'd promised Laurent, securing it in a small pocket of my hiking backpack. Since I didn't fancy cutting myself and pouring the venom in the open wound, I located a syringe next. Then I searched for morphine. I remembered the approximate dosage from my close call last spring. I stole enough to keep myself fully numb for three days.
I was just about to leave when a Red Cross flyer on the wall caught my attention. I spun around, my gaze landing on the refrigerator storing a supply of blood donations. I never intended to drink human blood, but I wasn't sure how one went about hunting animals, either. What would I do when I woke up as a vampire, crazed with thirst? What if I ran into a human and lost control before I could figure out my new diet? I felt bad stealing blood that someone might need for a transfusion, but I couldn't stand the thought of accidentally hurting anyone. Packing my own lunch could save a life.
I tried not to look too closely at the dark red fluid as I slid bag after bag out of the fridge. Even the feeling of it sloshing around in my hands made me queasy. After I'd shoved as much blood into my backpack as it would fit—I wasn't sure how much I'd need—I slipped back out into the hallway. Returning silently to the bathroom where I'd hidden before, I put my shoes back on and readjusted my hair. I still looked a bit nauseated, which was good.
This time, I made sure to open the bathroom door audibly. I pushed through the double doors and waved at Dr. Gerandy.
"Bella?" he asked, confused. He looked out to the parking lot and back, seeming to realize for the first time that my truck was still there.
"I was in the bathroom," I explained, blushing. "You know how I am about blood—I needed some time. Feeling okay now, though."
He nodded, his face relaxing. "You take care now."
"Have a good night," I replied. I walked toward the exit, resisting the urge to run out of the building. Finally I reached my car and slammed the door shut. I buckled up, put the truck in reverse, and made my escape to the freeway. As I drove back toward the end of the dirt road where I'd agreed to drop off the vial, I allowed myself a small smile. It looked like I was home free… as long as no one took an inventory of the blood fridge any time soon.
2024-08-23 A/N: Please review! Next chapter we'll find out what favor Laurent has in mind... I'm curious to hear your predictions.