Chapter 65
Chichi was not ignorant to the opinions of others. She knew that many of her husband's friends thought of her as harsh, naggy, overbearing, overprotective, loud, and in short, a bit of a… well, she knew what they thought of her at any rate. She also didn't care. She had a dead husband who was never home even when he was alive, and even when he was there, he was always depended on to fix any problem that cropped up. She had a son who was kidnapped at the age of four, then forced into becoming a child soldier to fight all manner of monsters and aliens, and another son who might go down the exact same path as his brother. That's not to say she wasn't proud of her husband and children. She was incredibly proud, but she had a responsibility as a mother and as a wife. She had to take care of them, and that's what she was going to do, no matter what anyone thought of her. However, that did not mean that she was completely unreasonable. As proof of this, we now come to a calm and collected Chichi (her good mood being aided by the recent good news), sitting in her living room with her second cup of tea that day, waiting for an explanation as to why a group of Saiyans suddenly arrived at her door.
Gohan looked between the Saiyans and his mother, unsure of whether to explain everything to his mom to start with or interrogate the Saiyan's on what they were doing here. Fortunately, Lomen took charge of the conversation.
"Mrs. Son, I must say that you brew a beautiful cup of tea." Lomen gave a grandfatherly smile. "I haven't had a cup so delicious since my daughter… Well, it has been a very long time."
"Your daughter?" Chichi asked. Her hard expression softened somewhat.
"Like most of our people, she perished when our home world was destroyed by Frieza."
"Oh… I'm so sorry." Chichi didn't know what else to say. In truth, she had never thought about Saiyans as a people. Of course, she knew that the planet had been destroyed, but since she had only thought of Saiyans as a 'barbaric race of delinquents' (an opinion aided by the behavior of Vegeta, and even Goku), she'd never given the event much thought. Now, hearing this man mention a daughter, Chichi couldn't help but sympathize.
"Well, the destruction of Vegeta has long since passed." Lomen continued. "But it makes me proud to know that our race is kept alive through such men as your son. I can tell you've done a fine job raising a well-mannered boy. The moment I saw him, I could tell he had a caring and conscientious mother." Chichi's chin tilted ever so slightly upward at this.
"Well, I do what I can." Chichi replied trying not to sound proud.
"Indeed. As one who has educated young minds for generations, it is my opinion that you are doing a phenomenal job."
"An… An educator?" Chichi looked stunned at this revelation. It made sense that Saiyans had families, but education? "I… Guess I never thought of Saiyan's as having schools."
"Oh yes. Quite fine schools by any standard. Our technology was quite advanced you see. It may interest you to know that I even taught your husband's biological father, who himself was quite the brilliant scientist."
"Really!?" Chichi gasped. "Goku's father, a scientist!?"
"Of course. We are a warrior race, but even we understood that a warrior must train their mind, along with their body."
"Well that's… Surprising." Chichi blinked. She had no idea the Saiyans were anything but a bunch of battle obsessed brutes. The fact that Goku's father of all people was a scientist was unbelievable. Though, she did suppose Gohan had to have gotten his genius from somewhere.
Of course, what Lomen neglected to mention was that Bardock's 'phd' was in causing pain, harm, and death to the enemy. If fighting was a science, then Bardock truly was a brilliant scientist. He also neglected to mention the fact that, while there was training for Saiyan scientists, Lomen was more of an educator in the same science that Bardock studied. Whether he left these facts out on accident or as a tactical decision to win over the Son matron was anybody's guess.
While Chichi was still contemplating these new revelations on Saiyan culture, Gohan decided that it was time to get to the point.
"Look, that's really interesting, but I'm sure you didn't come here to tell my mom about old times on planet Vegeta. So why don't you get to the real reason you came to our planet, and more particularly, my house?"
"Gohan, don't be rude." Chichi reprimanded, Lomen's dignity of manner and bearing seeming to have at least rid her of potential hostility to the Saiyans.
"But mom, I-"
"No buts. You know better than to talk that way to your elders." Chichi said firmly, causing Soga and Kress to snicker. They stopped abruptly when Gohan shot them a menacing glare.
"No need to reprimand him my dear." Lomen smiled. "After what our boss made us do, I wouldn't trust us either."
"What your boss made you do?" Gohan raised an eyebrow.
"Oh, we don't mean to absolve ourselves of blame, you understand." Lomen said with a placating gesture. "And we are eternally grateful that you have showed us the error of our ways. But you must understand, it is in our DNA to follow a strong leader. For all his faults, we believed Turles was our best chance for survival. After all, what could a rag tag group of Saiyans do when we were hunted by a threat such as Frieza, and later his brother. I admit, it was not the most honorable course of action to harm other planets, but we honestly never thought there was another option for survival. Even if it meant submitting to an arrogant, selfish, and cruel leader such as Turles, we followed him because it meant our race could live on."
"But then, Mrs. Son." Lomen continued, addressing Chichi in very affecting tones. "It became clear that this man did not care for our race as anything but a tool for his own gain. Even then, we would not have been able to break free of him if not for your son. He defeated the tyrant, and what's more, he showed us that we could follow a different path. A better path. After he spared our lives, we all decided that we would not waste this chance. That is why I can assure you, Son Gohan, we mean no harm to your planet. In fact, we have decided to take your advice."
"What advice would that be?" Gohan raised an eyebrow.
"To make this world our home." Lomen replied. "You told us to stay out of Cooler's empire, so naturally, we came to the only planet we know that would be safe for our people. Especially with you protecting it. We came here as soon as we left Namek. Landed about a week ago, in fact."
"Wait, you mean all of you came here?" Gohan asked in surprise.
"That's right." Nira answered happily. "You'd be surprised just how well everyone is adjusting. Kalif, Nazz and Chokly already got jobs." She turned a disapproving look on the teens. "Which is more than I can say for you two bums."
"We've only been here a week mom." Kress whined.
"That's no excuse!" Nira reprimanded. "Like Lomen said, if we're going to live on this planet, we need to make some changes to how we do things, and that starts by acting like responsible citizens and getting a job!"
In that moment, Chichi's whole demeanor changed. Lomen was quite adept at reading people, and had touched on the mother's sympathy by mentioning his daughter, her respect by alluding to his role as an educator, and even her admiration with his sincere declaration that they wanted to change for the better. But what this woman just said sealed the deal for her and all the Saiyans. "Your name was Nira, right?"
"That's right, Mrs. Son."
"Please, call me Chichi." Gohan's expression turned to shock to see his mother actually smile. Nira smiled in return.
"Thank you, Chichi. You know, I can't tell you how glad I am to finally meet another Saiyan mom. I mean, I know you're not a Saiyan yourself, but that kind of makes it even more impressive. Your oldest is so well behaved. Nothing like my son."
"I'm right here." Kress mumbled.
"Well, I don't have to tell you, it can be challenging." Chichi laughed. "But I am quite proud of him. Did you know that he just got accepted into a top college?"
"Oh, I've read about College!" Nira replied, then turned to Rhubub. "See, education on Earth works in tiers, kind of like the old Saiyan rank system. College is like the elite level, right?" She turned back to Chichi.
"Wow, you seem to be quite well informed for only being here a week." Chichi said, clearly impressed. "You know… This may sound out of nowhere, but would you like to go shopping sometime?"
"Ooh!" Nira nearly squealed. "An earth female bonding ritual! Rhuby, what's our budget look like?"
Rhubub just gave her a shrug. "Spend what you want."
"No, no, no! We have to have a budget." She insisted. "Sorry about my husband Chichi. He didn't want to read the books I got for research." She rolled her eyes.
"Oh, believe me, I know how that is." Chichi gave a knowing sigh. "Goku's the same way. It's like he's allergic to books or something. But it sounds like you don't have to worry about your husband quite like I do. What is it he does for work?"
Nira looked at her husband, who folded his arms and leaned back. "I retired a few years ago." Upon seeing Gohan's incredulity, the Saiyan clarified. "Before Turles recruited me, I was, let's see… What would they call it on this planet? Oh right, an independent law enforcement contractor. My uh… Pension was quite substantial."
To Gohan, it sounded like Rhubub was more like a bounty hunter, and although that is precisely what he meant, all Chichi heard was that he'd had a legitimate career and was successful enough to retire. Chichi and Nira continued to chat like old friends, commiserating on the difficulties of child rearing and general wifery. The men quietly excused themselves, but not before Soga stuffed as many Meat cookies into his pocket as he could fit.
"So," Gohan started when he and the others had left the house. "I gotta say, I'm impressed you managed to get my mom on your side."
"A true master of martial arts understands that there are many avenues to victory. Every Saiyan man knows our only true weakness is the women in our lives. Making your mother into an ally gives us a better chance at winning you over as well."
"So, your plan is to use my mom against me?" Gohan's face darkened.
"You know that's not the case." Rhubub interjected. "Otherwise, we'd be dead already. All Lomen is saying is that we want to be on your side, and for you to let us be on your side. What he said about Saiyans following strong leaders is true, but not because we need protection. All of us are strong enough to take care of ourselves. But you? With you leading us, maybe we could do more than just survive."
"I don't plan on conquering planets, if that's what you mean." Gohan said coldly.
"Neither do we." Rhubub replied. "Because you showed us that there's more to greatness than conquest. Turles wanted to revive the Saiyan empire to its former glory. Personally, I think you could make us even better."
Between the two men, Gohan was starting to think that the Saiyans really were in earnest about trying to reform. It wasn't like this kind of thing never happened before, but usually when a former enemy turned ally, it was a little more gradual. Maybe these guys were more like Broly, just doing what they thought they were supposed to do, and he really had given them a chance to break free. Or maybe seeing their boss ripped to shreds really helped put things in perspective for them. Either way, he did promise to give these guys a second chance. What better place than earth to do that.
"Come on bro, just give us a chance." Soga said.
"Yeah, man. If it means hooking up with a hot earth babe, I'll do whatever you need me to."
After much deliberation, Gohan shrugged. "It's not like I own the planet. As long as you promise not to cause trouble, you can come and go as you please. I'm sure there's not a whole lot of habitable planets that you can to choose from, and I'd rather have you here living peacefully, than conquering some random world."
"We appreciate that." Lomen said.
"Just don't go calling me 'lord Gohan' or something like that. You guys are kind of my responsibility, but that doesn't mean I'm your king or anything like that." Gohan admitted.
"Hey, whatever man!" Kress threw his arm around Gohan's neck. "You wanna be responsible for us, go right ahead."
"How far does that responsibility go?" Soga came at him from the other side. "Because if you wouldn't mind introducing us to some earth babes…"
Kress nodded. Moving his hands in an hourglass shape. "Preferably in the same league as that green chick. OOF!"
Both teens fell to the ground after Gohan rammed his elbows into their guts. Rhubub shook his head. "Speaking of the green girl, where is she?" He asked. "Nira was hoping for a rematch."
"Uh, Zangya should still be at her bakery."
Break
"What the heck are you doing here, you blue bimbo?" Chokly growled "Are you stalking us or something?"
"Excuse me?" Zangya replied dangerously holding up a finger. "If I was stalking you, you'd have been dead before you saw my face. And if you don't want me to grab you by the tail and throw you through that window, you won't talk to me like that ever again."
"I'll talk to you however I please." Chokly folded her arms. "You think just because we're new to earth that we have to do what you say?"
"No." Zangya said slowly and in a manner that suggested the listener was very slow. "I think that because you're an employee here you have to do what I say."
"Oh, please!" Chokly rolled her eyes. "You think I'll fall for that 'customer is always right' bs? Nazz thrashed three guys who used that line to get a date with her just yesterday, and Chico didn't bat an eye."
"Chokly." Chico sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Please stop talking."
"What!?" Chokly yelled indignantly. "She started it!"
"Actually, you started it." Nazz corrected.
Chico turned to Zangya and put her hands together. "Boss, I'm really sorry about this. They're both super hard workers, I swear. And they're a big hit with the customers. Girls think their cool, and guys… Well, the tails, you know?"
Nazz looked between her old enemy and Chico and realization dawned on her.
"Chokly, you seriously need to shut up."
The shorter Saiyan looked at her friend with disbelief. "What are you so scared of Nazz?"
"Look, Lomen said we have to behave, and I really like this job, so stop picking a fight with our boss."
"I'm not picking a fight with our boss!" Chokly objected. "I'm picking a fight with her!"
Zangya walked up to the counter, pulled a menu from it, and shoved it in Chokly's hand.
"Anything on their look familiar?"
"What is this, some kind of test? I already memorized the…" She paused and her eyes went wide when she saw the little blue skinned orange hair chibi character featured all over the menu. She looked up with a fearful gaze at what could only be the girl the character was based on. "Then… Dragon baker Z is…"
Zangya looked down at her with folded arms. "Z for Zangya." She said with a tone like ice. Chokly gulped, and Zangya continued. "Yeah. So, like I said, if you want to keep working here, you do have to listen to me. The owner."
Chokly looked with open mouth from Chico, to Nazz, then back to Zangya. "smy" she muttered.
"What was that?" Zangya asked.
"Sorry." The Saiyan said quietly.
"One more time."
"I'm sorry!" She shouted with red faced intensity.
"Ok then." Zangya nodded. "Now, Chico thinks you're good enough to work here, and I trust her. But you put a toe out of line, you do anything to sabotage my business, and you'll be wishing I'd finished the job back on Namek. Clear?"
Chokly and Nazz both nodded.
"Good. Now, get ready. Customers will be in soon."
The girls went to the back to change into their uniforms, and Zangya sighed. Her first instinct was to fire them on the spot, but on further consideration, she decided she wasn't above using an old enemy to bring in a little extra profit. Two Saiyans were better than a hundred regular workers. Besides this gave her authority over those two. She smiled at the thought of working them so hard they wouldn't even have a chance to think about Gohan. She happily made her way to a table where 18 was sitting, eating a chocolate cake smothered in ketchup.
"I missed watching you work." 18 said as she brought a spoon to her mouth.
Zangya looked at the woman and tried not to be sick. "I guess those cravings are kicking in. Hope Krillin's ready for this."
"Yeah." She said with a mouthful of cake and ketchup. "Speaking of, I can't wait to see him again. I'll catch you later Z."
Grabbing her plate, she left the bakery, leaving Zangya to contemplate the difficulties of pregnancy.
Break
Beerus sat in agitation as Whis ferried him to their destination. He was itching to fight this 'Son Gohan', but he was also curious about something. "Whis?"
"Yes, Lord Beerus?"
"Why exactly are you taking me to deal with this?"
"Whatever do you mean, lord Beerus?" The angel feigned surprise at the question. "I would have thought you'd love the opportunity to test yourself."
"You think this person's that good, do you?"
"Well let me see…" Whis put a finger to his cheek. "So far, he has defeated that Hera Bojack who was causing so much trouble a few centuries ago."
"Hm. Not bad." Beerus shrugged. "For a mortal. But hardly worth my time. What else?"
"He defeated the Jade empire, and he beat Majin Buu."
"Ha!" the cat god let out a laugh. "I always thought those kais were idiots for leaving that egg out in the open. But that is impressive. Still nothing to suggest he'd test me though. Anything else?"
"Well, most recently, he assisted Cooler with a little issue in his empire. Apparently, a Saiyan and a Namekian got a hold of a seed for the tree of might and things got quite out of hand."
"You say that like it deserves any notice." Beerus yawned. "You're telling me that Cooler couldn't even handle a Saiyan and a Namekian? That speaks more to his incompetence than this Son Gohan's prowess."
"Perhaps." Whis smiled.
"Why do the Kais want this kid gone anyway?" The god continued. "Sounds like he's been pretty helpful to them."
"Oh, I couldn't say." The angel answered mysteriously.
"Hmm." Beerus decided to come back to that question. "Anyway, speaking of Cooler, do you think he'll be competent enough to fill his younger brother's role? Frieza was always reliable when it came to outsourcing destruction."
Whis sighed. There was no denying that Beerus was one of, if not the most, powerful and talented beings among the gods of destruction. However, it always annoyed him how his pupil shirked his duties. The role of the destroyer was not meant to be outsourced and was a bad look on their universe when they did it. "I suppose there's no harm in asking him, if that is what you wish."
"Great. Let's stop by the lesser brother then, before we deal with Son Gohan."
"Very well." Whis shrugged. "Next stop, the Spaghetti star."
Break
Had Cooler been a lesser being, he might have sighed when his sensors picked up the presence of Beerus and Whis. He'd been expecting their visit at some future point, though he wasn't looking forward to it. Like everyone else, Beerus had always favored Frieza, shunting Cooler to the side. Not that Cooler cared to be included in their wonton destruction. He never did that sort of thing for fun. After all, it was strictly business when he blew up a planet. Unfortunately, with Frieza and his father dead, Cooler thought it exceedingly likely that Beerus would come to him to pawn off his destruction duties. The cyborg leaned back in his luxurious stateroom chair and pressed his fingers together, pondering his path ahead. If there was any profit in it, that would be one thing, but he highly doubted that the god of destruction would be so generous. He'd likely try to force him into service for free or use the threat of annihilation in lieu of payment. He didn't like the idea of being a servant, even to a god. But he couldn't exactly say no without a good reason. Fortunately, recent events had gifted him a solution to this little dilemma.
The door to his state room opened with a meta-Cooler leading the pair, and Cooler stood up so he could greet the destroyer and his attendant.
"Greetings lord Beerus and lord Whis." He said with a bow.
"What the devil happened to you?" Beerus noted the frost demon's appearance with a smile. "I go to sleep for a few years, your family is dead, and you look like you've been thrown in a blender. Did the same person who killed Frieza chop you to pieces as well?"
"I believe I already told you, lord Beerus, that this was the work of a different Saiyan." Whis reminded, much to the annoyance of Beerus. "Don't listen to lord Beerus Cooler, I think the new look is rather stylish. Not to mention you seem to have gained a substantial power boost. As far as misfortunes go, yours seems to be a most fortunate one."
Cooler bowed once more to express his gratitude for the sentiment. "Thank you. Though my power still falls short of Lord Beerus' greatness. I gladly accept any comments from one with abilities such as his."
"Mmm," Beerus grumbled. One of the reasons why he preferred Frieza was that Cooler never seemed to react to his taunts. "Somehow that takes all the fun out of it."
"Then I offer my apologies." Cooler said. "Please, have a seat. Refreshments will be ready shortly."
Beerus tossed himself in a plump armchair and dangled his arm over the back. Whis stood to his side, while Cooler regain his former seat.
"Well Cooler, today's your lucky day." Beerus began. "I've decided to allow you the chance to prove yourself to be as valuable as Frieza."
If this phrasing bothered Cooler, he did not show it. "And how may I endeavor to earn such favor, Lord Beerus?"
"Well, as you know, I'm quite busy with my duties. Your brother used to destroy the odd planet for me in order to assist with my workload."
'More like do all of your work for you.' Cooler and Whis thought to themselves.
"I'm prepared to offer you the same deal." Beerus continued. "I'll give you a few assignments and in exchange, I'll turn a blind eye to when you happen to do it without my say so. You can keep on with your normal empire building, but you just have to prioritize what I assign you. Pretty fair deal, right?"
Cooler smiled and nodded his head. "I am humbled by your generosity, lord Beerus."
The cat smiled like he'd caught the canary. Now that he'd pawned the tedious business of destruction off on this dolt, he could get back to the fun stuff. Like eating, sleeping, and-
"Though I must decline your proposition." Cooler said and Beerus started at this frank refusal.
"What!?" He yelled. "Decline!? What makes you think you even have a choice in the matter!? Are those robot parts malfunctioning, or are you just so arrogant that you would dare defy my wish!?"
Cooler took this outburst in stride, having expected it from the beginning. "It's not a question of defiance, my lord. I am merely incapable of complying with your conditions."
"And why is that?" Beerus growled through his teeth. "I know you're at least strong enough to blast a planet to pieces."
"Physically, yes." Cooler nodded. "But you see, I have recently signed a contract. In exchange for certain services, I promised that I would not destroy any planets."
"You're joking." Beerus sneered.
"See for yourself." Cooler replied casually, motioning to the table near Beerus that just so happened to have the document in question. Beerus grabbed it violently, turned it over a few times, then thrust it into Whis's hands. The angel perused the papers and nodded.
"I'm afraid he's right, Lord Beerus. According to this, if he were to use any form of military/destructive force on a planet outside his empire, such an action would be breeching the conditions."
Beerus looked from Whis to Cooler with an exasperated expression. "Why would you be so stupid as to sign something like that? On second thought, I don't care. Just like I don't care about some stupid contract!"
Cooler nodded. "I can understand that. After all, your honor is not tied up in the matter. Mine is, however, and so, regretfully, I cannot break the terms. No, not even to serve the great lord Beerus."
Beerus expression became deadlier, if possible, and he lunged across the room, grabbed Cooler by the face, and held him up at arm's length.
"You're going to deny me for 'honor'?" The cat growled. "Tell me, what will your honor be worth to you when your nothing but a pile of ash at my feet."
"I'm afraid that even if I break the contract, the same fate will befall me." Cooler explained calmly. "The other party made it clear that he would destroy me and dismantle my entire empire if the deal was broken. So, you see, you place me in quite the difficult position."
"He's right, Lord Beerus." Whis stated with a smile. "This Gohan fellow really is quite the negotiator."
"Gohan?" Beerus raised an eyebrow. "As in, Son Gohan?"
"Why, so it is." Whis sounded surprised. "Imagine, the very man you were about to confront is the same man who has our friend Cooler in such a pickle."
"You were about to dispose of Son Gohan?" Cooler asked with interest. "How extraordinary. Well, I must warn you, my lord, that Saiyan is not to be taken lightly. Even for you, he will pose quite the troublesome little monkey."
"Are you saying that some Saiyan could compete with me?" Beerus' intrigue rather than anger was foremost in Beerus' voice as his interest in Gohan was yet again piqued.
"All I know is that he is far stronger than I. How he compares to your power, I can only guess." Cooler replied.
Beerus set Cooler down. "Is that so. Well, thank you for telling me. Don't worry Cooler, I'll dispose of this upstart, and then your contract will be voided, won't it."
"I had not considered that." Cooler said with a straight face, though smiling internally. "Thank you lord Beerus, for your generosity."
"Don't thank me yet." Beerus grinned. "I can't let anyone say 'no' to me without consequences, can I? For your impudence, I'll have to destroy your little space station."
Cooler's eyes went wide. "My lord, please. Reconsider."
"You should have reconsidered before choosing a deal with some upstart over the god of destruction."
"Kyaaaa!"
A scream drew the destroyer's attention away from Cooler and toward the door. Peeking out from behind the doorframe was Cheelai. "I-i-is that Lord Beerus the destroyer?" She stuttered.
"That's correct." Beerus gave the girl an odd look.
"I-I hear you're the most fearsome being in the universe." She stepped out of hiding to reveal a frightened, yet adorable, expression and posture.
A tremor moved up through Beerus from his feet to his ears and tail. When it ceased, he gave the girl a grin, and she shrunk back behind the door.
"I like this one." He stated, much to the shock of Whis.
"My lord." She moved forward to become more visible before she bent low in a bow. "I-I've come to invite you to dine. The chef has produced a special feast just for you." She gazed up ever so slightly, giving her face the look of a little kitten. "Won't you come and eat? Please?"
Another tremor shook Beerus frame and he suppressed a purr. "Well, I can't say no to an invitation like that. Come along Whis."
Whis followed along, never one to decline a meal from the cold family chefs. Cheelai bowed out of the way, and beckoned them to pass her. Once they were well enough ahead, Cheelai straightened up, grinned, and shooting a wink and a thumbs up to Cooler, ran ahead to guide the deities.
Cooler nodded in satisfaction before sitting gracefully back in his chair. "Kuriza."
"Yes, my lord?" A holo-screen appeared with the younger frost demon's form on it.
"That raise you promised Cheelai." Cooler said slowly. "Double it."
"Of course, my lord." Kuriza bowed.
"Oh, and don't forget to approve her vacation request."
"Already done, my lord." Kuriza paused. "Does that mean that everything went according to plan?"
"Of course it did." Cooler smiled. "Better still, he was already planning to target Son Gohan."
"Then… The Saiyan will die?" Kuriza asked with an uncertain tone.
Cooler shrugged. "Who knows." With a wave of his hand, the holo-screen vanished, and Cooler laced his fingers together in contemplation. "After all," he said after a while to no one in particular. "He is a most unusual Saiyan."
End chapter