Prodigal Son Returns
By: Bubbajack
Editors/Co-Authors: Antagonist, Icysnowsage, First Hassan/Darklord 331, and LoamyCoffee.
Special Consultants: Heliosion
Special thanks go out to my Super Donors: Alexander Murry, Bobby Glass, G Mateos, JackHanmer, Jareth Norris, NeroSolas, Selmephren, and Lucas White, my sole Supreme Tier Donor.
Ch.4: Blue Blood Politics.
When Shirou woke up the next morning, he found that during the night, Serafall had somehow switched places with Rin and was now clinging to him. His arm was firmly wedged between her impressive bosom, her hands wrapped tightly around him like a pair of serpents. Shirou tried to extract his arm, but to no avail. Serafall's grip was like iron.
'I really need to go to the bathroom.' Shirou thought to himself. Normally, he wouldn't mind staying in place much less giving up his own life, if it meant helping somebody. But even he, a living sword, had to answer the call of nature. So, he had to find a way to extract himself from her embrace, at least momentarily. 'Think Shirou, think,' he told himself. 'If you can find a way to defeat the King of Heroes, you can surely find your way out of the embrace of a love-struck devil.' Casting his gaze around his old room, he didn't find anything he could use to his advantage. But then he thought about the very pillow his head was laying on at the moment. 'Perhaps that could be of use?' So, thinking and with his free arm, Shirou pulled the pillow out from behind his head. Before reinforcing his encaptured arm, and gently extracting it from the embrace of the new Leviathan, before putting the pillow in its place, before she could even notice the difference. He paused, holding his breath for a moment to see if Serafall would wake up. Thankfully, she didn't.
And so he quickly headed to the ensuite bathroom; to relieve himself of morning wood and take care of any other morning ablutions he felt the urge to do.
By the time he was finished, the other occupants of the bed were just awakening.
Rin stared at him bleary eyed and asked, "Emiya-kun, when did you?" She then looked to her left and saw a naked Serafall there. "When did you get over there?"
"Sorry, I tend to shuffle around in my sleep a bit, at least unless I have something to cling on to." The Leviathan giggled in response. But Shirou had a feeling she was anything but sorry.
"Can we not fight first thing in the morning and just go down to breakfast instead?" Shirou asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. Doing his best to play the peacekeeper.
Rin fixed Serafall with a sour glare, before muttering grumpily to her boyfriend, "Fine, Emiya-kun, if you insist." Throwing the sheets off of her body, she gathered her clothes and stormed into the bathroom, muttering under her breath to him as she stomped past him. "They better have some damn good coffee in this place."
"I'm sure they do when they're royalty after all." The Gremory heir assured his girlfriend.
"Ah, that reminds me, Shirou," Saber asked, speaking up for the first time, as she wiped sand out of her eyes. "Will you be cooking breakfast?" Saber sounded eager to eat his cooking just as usual.
Shirou, for his part, rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment, as he replied, "I don't know Saber, I'm not sure how protocol works here, but I'm assuming they have people for that, I can ask though."
The King of Knights nodded briskly. "Good to see that you do that. Hunger is the enemy. But to have to go without your cooking seems… wrong somehow. I guess I've gotten quite used to it." She looked away, slightly embarrassed.
Shirou just took the compliment for what it was and smiled at his former Servant, "I'm glad you like my cooking, Saber."
"So, you can cook, and fight, and you're a mage?" Serafall asked as she got dressed right in front of him, having no modesty to speak of. "How are you not married already? Not that I'm complaining, that just means I can throw my hat in the ring."
"You're really too kind, Serafall-chan." Shirou wasn't quite sure how to deal with someone who was oh so powerful but also so very, very forward. "Or should I be addressing you as Leviathan-sama?"
"No." She said with a bit of force. "Not you. You will address me as Serafall…preferably Sera-chan like you used to… But you don't remember that, so I guess we'll just have to work back up to that, won't we?" She smiled, but it was wistful. A bit sad, almost like she was torn that he couldn't remember her. Seemingly forlorn almost.
"Yeah, I suppose we will… I'm sorry, this must not be easy for you." Shirou said, offering her what little emotional support he could.
But the Leviathan just shook her head, sending her twin tails flailing wildly all around her. "Me? I'm imagining it must be ten, no, a hundred times worse for you. My own feelings are nothing in comparison."
"It's fine. This is nothing. At least nobody died this time." Shirou said with a casual shrug.
Upon hearing that, Serafall frowned, her sapphire eyes filling up with worry. "Shirou, what exactly do you-"
She didn't get to finish as Rin came out of the bathroom dressed for the day. "Ok. Is everybody ready?"
Saber quickly donned her usual attire of the armored royal blue dress. "As ready as we'll ever be, Rin. Though I do hope they'll let Shirou cook at some point…. Having to go without his cooking…" The King of Knights shuddered in fear. "An unholy torture."
"I think you're over exaggerating a bit there, Saber," Shirou laughed a bit while scratching the back of his head. "I'm good, but I'm not that good surely?"
In response, Saber dematerialized her gauntlet and slapped him lightly across the cheek. "For blasphemy." She said firmly.
'And I thought a hungry Taiga was bad.' Now having seen their English teacher in action at the Emiya estate on a few occasions. She then took charge, saying. "C'mon, we'd better get Saber fed before she starts challenging people to duels."
"Rin, I am a knight. I would not challenge a mere peasant to a duel… Now if their food is not up to par…" The King of Knights left the words hanging. Clearly, Shirou had spoiled her in the food department, and she had high expectations from here on out.
Rin found herself suppressing a sigh, "Let's not kill anyone before you've had a chance to taste the food, alright, Saber?"
"Very well, Rin. I will reserve my judgment… Till after breakfast," Saber said with a firm nod, adding as the group left the room. "If it fails to be up to my standards, however, I will be having words with the chef, and Shirou will be claiming his rightful dominion as head of the kitchens."
Serafall, who had just listened to what was basically a royal decree, could only silently marvel at just how good Shirou's cooking was if it could win over the ghost of the Once and Future King of Britain. She was somewhat eager to find out. But she could wait. If anything, more than four centuries alive had taught her patience. Unlike younger Devils. Yet the more she learned about the enigmatic figure, that was Hersei Gremory, the more she felt herself drawn to him. Politics and such be damned! She was Serafall Leviathan. She had something more important than politics. She had power, and in Devil society, that meant she could take what she wanted. And she wanted Shirou. Come hell or high water, she decided would have him. But she decided to be patient for now. To see what the future held and what opportunities could arise to facilitate this in the least painful way possible. Shirou, it seemed, was quite the stud, if the oblivious and accommodating sort, so perhaps there was some way everyone could get what they wanted. She was the 'sharing is caring type' after all. And nothing if not benevolent. At least compared to the likes of her predecessor. Also, and even more importantly in her mind, she was Magical Girl Levia-tan after all! What kind of example would she be setting for her audience, for the kids, if she didn't lead by example and teach them how good it was to share?
(...)
Shirou and company managed to get down to the breakfast table just in time to see everything being laid out for their arrival. It was as if a veritable feast had been prepared: small mountains of eggs, entire carafes of tea, coffee and other such drinks, plates full of sausages, pancakes and other morning delights. All were stacked high on a long long oak table. At the head of the table was Zeoticus Gremory, sitting at his Immediate right was Venelana, and on his left was Shirou's mother, Ritsuka. Sitting down from Venelana was Sirzechs, his maid Grayfia, and a young boy whom the sword magus could only presume to be Sirzechs' son and his nephew by proxy. Further down from them was Rias and her peerage. Directly to his mother's left, were several open seats. But then many of the seats were occupied by several beautiful women that Shirou had never seen before.
Before Shirou could get a good look at the other guests, He was tackled-hugged by a very happy homunculi. "Onii-chan! Good morning!" Illya greeted him happily.
Shirou ruffled her hair affectionately, "Morning, Illya. Did you sleep well?"
She grinned up at him from her position around his waist as she replied, "Better than you did, Oniichan." She gave him a perverse, knowing smile before she said, "Having multiple girls sneaking into your room last night?"
Rubbing her head in an affectionate manner, Shirou asked, "And how do you know about that?"
Looking away in annoyance, she huffed and said, "Well, I was going to sneak into your room last night, but it looked a little crowded."
"Clearly, the forbidden fruit doesn't fall far from the tree of knowledge. You're just like your father." A cold, almost haughty voice from the table spoke up.
Shirou locked eyes with the speaker. She was a woman with long blonde hair, golden eyes, unusually pale skin and she was hiding the rest of her face behind a hand fan, while wearing an elaborate red gown. "I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch your name?"
She held his gaze for a moment seemingly amused. "Perhaps I was wrong. Maybe you are different from your father. How interesting… Mina Tepes. I guess you could call me your aunt. After a fashion," She folded the fan, revealing sharp fanged teeth she had for canines.
"Mina, that's enough. We're here to celebrate Hersei coming back to the family, not to intimidate the boy to death," Zeocitus spoke firmly to one of his wives.
"It will take more than a damn bloodsucker to scare me," Shirou spoke firmly, his gaze never leaving Mina's.
"Ohh, is that so? Pray tell, dear boy, what could you have faced that is more terrifying than a vampire turned devil?" Mina Tepes asked.
"The King of Heroes himself, Gilgamesh. Compared to him, we're just mongrel worms writhing in the dirt ruining his garden. In his eyes, that's all any of us are. But even a mongrel dog can rip out somebody's throat if pushed far enough."
"Interesting, very interesting," Mina said, bemused. "You've fought a legend. And surpassed it. What are you?" Her crimson eyes flared with abject curiosity.
"He is my son and we're all about to sit down and have breakfast. Is that clear, Mina Tepes Gremory?" Zeocitus spoke with a firm tone, one that would brook no more dissent on the matter.
"As you say, darling, as you say," Mina replied, a bit of spite in her tone and flashing in her eyes as her gaze settled on Zeocitus.
"Good," The head of the Gremory house was suddenly all smiles again, "Now son, come sit by your mother and me. We have much to discuss."
"Sure." He replied, his gaze lingering for just a moment on Mina Tepes. Turning his back to her felt like leaving his back open to the enemy, and Saber, Archer's skills or no, had trained him better than to do that. The Servant of the Sword seemed to have picked up on his mood, as she had subtly, but no less surely kept her gaze on the woman herself until Shirou and Rin had sat down and situated herself between them as well. After her came Aoko, Gray, Lord El-Melloi II, Reines, Luvia, and Zelretch brought up the rear, rubbing shoulders with one of his father's wives.
"So, uh…Father? Uh dad?" Shirou honestly wasn't sure how to address Zeocitus. While the man was his biological father, he had no memories of him. He had no connection to him. He felt more of a familial connection to Kiritsugu, who was dead for five years, than this man who called himself his father.
"You can just call me Zeocitus as if that helps Shirou. I'm under no delusions that you remember me at all. It would be overly selfish of me for you to call me Dad. Even though I am a Devil. What did you call the man who raised you after the fire? If you don't mind my asking."
Shirou was quick to reply, "I just called him my Old Man. I'd call you that, but you don't look all that old."
That caused a burst of laughter to come forth from the Gremory Head. "Ahahaha! That's kind of you to say. But remember, we can live up to ten thousand years. If I only look like I'm thirty, then… Well, I'm a lot older than I look."
"That's true…" He smirked a bit and then said. "Old Man."
Zeocitus stared at his son for a moment, and then cackled. "Finally, someone other than Sirzechs willing to make a joke at my expense. But dig in, dig in while it's warm. We have things to talk about after we've eaten."
Shirou was just about to do so, but out of force of habit, structurally analyzed the food. To make sure everything cooked just so. It was one of the little tricks he's picked up due to his cooking habits. From doing so, he noticed something that put him on edge. It caused him to reach out and stop his mother from consuming any food. Locking eyes with his father, he said seriously. "Does food in the underworld typically have ten times the lethal amount of cyanide in it for humans?"
Upon hearing this, Zeocitus dropped his chopsticks as he replied. "No, no it does not."
Someone had just tried to poison the Gremory family. Someone in this very room.
Waver, for his part, could feel a headache coming on. Because this was a mystery. A case. Something he would no doubt have to solve. What's more, Emiya Shirou had just saved his and his sister's life. And the life of a magician. He owed him several times over. 'Damn, Emiya.' He thought as he stood to his feet and said, "I would like to inspect the kitchens immediately, Lord Gremory. Someone just tried to kill us all."
"Yes, right this way, Mr.?" Zeocitus asked, not as familiar with his son's guests as he would like to be. That was supposed to come after this morning's meal.
"Lord El-Melloi II," Waver replied as he lit up a cigar and began puffing away as he marched off towards the kitchens. He was already on the case. His own personal Watson, Gray, was hot on his heels, as always.
(...)
The kitchen in the Gremory estate was the stuff of dreams. A long island stood in the middle of the floor over which pots and pans hung, stoves and marble top counters were on the left, while the right side of the room was taken up by a giant freezer and walk-in pantry. Lord El-Melloi II scanned the room, looking for anything out of place as he paced down the left side of the room, his heavy gaze taking in all of the used cookware. He stopped, his eyes lingering on a large number of chopped apples, all the seeds having been removed. 'Emiya said the food was poisoned with a large dose of cyanide. You can obtain cyanide from apple seeds.' Turning to the head chef, a man with an overly bushy mustache and bushy eyebrows that covered his eyes, he asked, "Who was working here? There were no apple dishes for breakfast from what I recall."
The head chef's mustache twitched in thought, "Hmm, I do believe that was Siesta, rather well-endowed girl, short purple hair, blue eyes, bit on the short side. Why, if she did this, I'll eat my hat sir. She doesn't have an unkind bone in her body." The head chef called, "Siesta! Come here please!"
A rather buxom maid who looked just as the head chef described walked forwards, in fact, unless Lord El-Melloi II missed his guess, she was Japanese. "Yes, Mr. Wellington?" she asked, giving the head chef a polite well practiced bow.
Scratching his head, Chef Wellington asked, "Why were you dicing apples, girl? We weren't serving them for breakfast."
Siesta wrinkled her brow in thought, "Chopping apples… Why was I… I don't recall, sir. I remember coming out of the dry pantry and then something came over me and I had the sudden urge to chop a lot of apples. I don't understand why, though."
"Look me in the eye please," Lord El-Melloi II requested with the maid doing as asked, her pupils were dilated, and seemed rather listless, clear signs of having been hypnotized. "You've been hypnotized, someone got you to poison today's meal."
The maid covered her mouth in shock. "Poison the Gremory family?! And the Four Satans?! I would never, not of my own volition! Please sir, you must believe me."
Raising a hand for silence, Lord El-Melloi II spoke calmly, "I do milady, you were no doubt meant to be held as the patsy to this crime, but I am on the case."
Siesta bowed deeply to him, "And I am eternally grateful that you are, sir."
He waved away her thanks, "Don't thank me, thank your new young lord. He was the one who noticed the poison."
Not raising her head, Siesta replied, "Yet were it not for you, I would likely be facing the wrath of Sirzechs Lucifer's Power of Destruction, so you have my thanks all the same."
"That's fine, but still the most important questions remain, both the who, and the 'why done it'." Lord El-Melloi II muttered to himself as he looked around the kitchen seeing if he could spot any other clues. He saw nothing out of the ordinary however, and decided it was time to move on to questioning the suspects as he took another puff off his cigar. "Come Gray, we have some wives to question."
"Wives, Sir?" Grey asked, confused.
"Oh yes, it's obvious when one thinks about it. Who has the most to gain by getting rid of Emiya Shirou, second born son of the Gremory House and heir apparent?"
Grey's eyes widened in shock. "Zeocitus Gremory's other wives! With Shirou here, he has an heir who can carry on the family name. Since if Rias marries, she would be marrying into another family."
Lord El-Melloi II nodded happily, pleased with his apprentice, "Indeed, a title one of the others no doubt coveted for themselves."
Grey cast a distrustful look at the other women in the room. "Who do you think it could be, Sir?"
"That I do not know yet, we've deduced the how, the when, the where, possibly even the why, but the who still eludes us. Keep your eyes peeled for anything strange, Grey," He muttered under his breath as he approached the table.
"Yes, Sir," She replied, her tone flinty as she thought, 'They won't get away with trying to poison Mr. Shirou! I…I won't let them!'
Lord El-Melloi II stopped in front of the table, facing the many wives of Zeocitus Gremory and the Four Satans, as he announced, "We found a red herring in the kitchen, someone hypnotized a maid to poison the food with apple seeds. The real killer is still at large. In fact, I believe them to be one of you," He pointed a finger at Zeocitus' harem.
"You have some nerve, sir!" Mina snapped back, glaring at the magus. "What reason could we have for wanting Zeocitus' and Fujimaru's son, and our nephew after a fashion dead?"
"Heir of Succession." Lord El-Melloi II said simply. "Regardless of her current status, Rias Gremory once she marries, will become the Lady of another house, causing the Gremory line to go extinct. That is however not the case now that Hersei Gremory, pardon me, Emiya Shirou has returned."
Rias perked up upon hearing that. For she realized, he wasn't wrong. Yes, if she married into the Phenex Clan as planned, there would be no more Gremory's, just more Phenex Clan children. 'It would actually be more beneficial for Hersei- Shirou to take my position,' Rias realized.
"My dear lady, were you not just before this meal trading barbs with young Emiya? If anything, that makes you the most suspicious." He cast his gaze around the women at the table. "None of you are above suspicion sans Ritsuka herself of course," He added when he saw the redhead open her mouth to speak, "After all, why would she want to poison her own son?"
Ritsuka stage whispered under her breath, "I was about to fucking say," She then raised a hand with her index and thumb very close together, "I was this close to strangling you with your own hair, you damn hippy. For even implying that I would harm the hair on my precious baby boy's head."
"Ahem, moving on," Lord El-Melloi II said awkwardly, clearing his throat, "You, Lady Tepes have cast doubt upon yourself… and even you, Venelana Gremory, are not exempt from suspicion."
"Oh?" Venelana said, "How so?" Venelana did not seem offended in the slightest but she was curious as to his reasoning.
"You have the most to lose by Shirou returning, your daughter would lose her place as Heiress to the Gremory Clan, it also seems rather odd that out of all the women here, he's had two children with you and only one with one other woman."
Venelana nodded, impressed by the human's logical thinking, "Your reasoning is sound, Lord El-Melloi II, however you are wrong about a few things. Firstly, it is… hard for Devils to produce children. Sirzechs, though he doesn't look like it, is over five-hundred years old." Venelana raised a hand palm up towards her son as an example.
"I see, it is said the longer a species lives, the harder it is for them to produce."
"It is just so, and after the Great War, and the Devil Civil War on top of that, we Devils have had to resort to the Evil Piece system to recoup our losses. Created by Ajuka-kun," The Beelzabub nodded in respect to the Gremory Lady, before she continued, "Some Pure Blooded Devils are against the use of the Evil Pieces, however thinking it dilutes our demonic blood."
Lord El-Melloi II rolled his eyes. "Blood politics,"
"It is so," Venelana agreed whole-heartedly, "Alas after the Civil War, my husband was the first person to take up a set of Evil Pieces to prove they were safe to use by the other remaining houses."
"I'm assuming it went poorly?" Lord El-Melloi hazarded a guess.
Venelana smiled, "Oh no, not at all! My husband contracted this amazing little mage named Cornelius Aggrippa, and eventually turned him into his Bishop, and expanded our family to include everyone you see here." Venelana expanded her arms wide and welcoming. "Things haven't been perfect of course… When we lost Hersei, our husband spent his days at the bottom of a bottle more than with us and it was only because Rias needed him as a father, and Millicas as a grandfather that pulled him out of his slump."
Rias, try as she might, couldn't remember her father being anything other than a loving father. Distant on occasion but never not there for her if she needed him. 'Was this another memory they took away? Of Father being as drunk as he wallowed in despair?' Rias didn't know… and she was almost afraid to find out.
Mina clears her throat to catch everyone's attention, "While we understand that we only were able to properly join the family semi recently compared to Venelana who already had Sirzechs by the time I joined. It is still frustrating to be denied a child of our own. The last ten years have been particularly rough on us ladies of the house. Venelana included. The reason why I am offended that you accused one of us is that the Gremory clan has always treated us like family. And while I am jealous of Venelana for being given two children, I am not so vain as to desire Ritsuka to lose her own child. I am not the only wife at this table who would like to have a child. Not necessarily the heir, but just a child to hold and covet as a mother can."
All of the wives present nodded along except one. Another wife spoke up this time. She had dark purple eyes, with long black hair tied up with a purple ribbon, while wearing a rather form fitting short violet Chinese dress, exposing her ample cleavage and navel. "Honestly, the worst part was being clam jammed for a decade. I understand the loss of a child and even this whole debacle with Hersei almost being poisoned. But I am still tempted to just drag Zeoticus off and have a nice love making session."
"Kazehana!" sighed Mina to her fellow wife's very open and... forward proposition.
"You know for a fact that you are also in the mood, Mina. I get it but if no one else will say it I will. Zeoticus, we want kids! Preferably now rather than later. Now that Hersei is here, Ritsuka can spend time with him and then join us later. I wouldn't even say no to Venelana joining."
"As the head of the harem of course, I would be joining," commented Venelana, making both of her children blush in embarrassment. No matter how old either were, they did not want to hear about their parents' sex lives.
"What does clam jam mean?" asked a semi-young voice causing everyone to pause and look at Millicas Gremory… And his mother who was eyeing Kazehana with a death glare.
The one to save the day was ironically enough, Serafall, "Oh that's just what happens when a mommy and daddy don't show enough love for each other, is all."
Milicas just nodded his head in agreement as Grayfia shot Serafall a grateful look.
Lord El Melloi II decided to get everyone back on track, "Right, still there is frustration and build up of resentment as you stated also could be inferred as jealousy and desire to harm not only Shirou but all his guests as well. Unlike devils. Cyanide would kill most of us."
"I would have been fine but thanks for your concern, Lord El Melloi II," piped Zelretch with a smirk on his face.
"Correction, most of us would have died. I can't apply common sense to magicians after all. Now, back to the topic. The means are quite blatant and allow us to see that someone in the Gremory Household was responsible. They were good at covering their tracks though as the only evidence was the apple's chopped and a hypnotized maid."
A quiet but firm tone spoke up near the end of the table, "The amount of cyanide needed to kill a human is not sufficient in a few chopped apples. In fact, to have 20 times the lethal dose, I dare say, Milord, that the apples in the kitchen are just a setup to lead you astray from the true culprit." The woman who spoke had nice silver & pink hair done up in a braid with eyes that shimmered like rubies and matched Zeoticus's hair. She was wearing a simple black sweater that hugged her figure, had a black skirt with a red line sewed into the hem and pure black stockings. She gave off the air of professionalism and certainty.
"And you would be, milady? Pardon my manners, but not everyone was able to be introduced," asked Waver.
"Florence Gremory nee Nightingale at your service. I am the family doctor as well as Zeoticus' wife. In fact, I helped deliver both Rias and Hersei here when they were born."
Waver stopped and paused realizing he was in front of a living legend. Who hadn't heard of the Florence Nightingale in Great Britain. It seems the Nightingale of this world did not die of old age. Though how chaste she is currently is up in the air. "I feel an expert nurse such as yourself would be efficient in identifying this. By chance, do you have any hints as to who would use cyanide of all poisons?"
"It can cause seizures, cardiac arrest, nausea, headaches, and many other problematic symptoms. It mainly causes your body to be unable to obtain oxygen. While lethal in high doses to humans, Devils have a certain resistance to poisons that are not supernatural in nature. In fact, I dare say that this resistance to poison is what caused poor Zeo to drink harder and ignore us. The depressing effects of alcohol just weren't strong enough to dampen his grief thus he had to drink more and more. I wish I could have helped him through this but a wound to the soul is not something I am capable of healing."
The look on Zeoticus Gremory's face showed how painful it was for him to realize how much pain he caused his loved ones. The main problem though, was realizing his actions almost caused the loss of his second son.
"Lord El Melloi II, would you be able to find out who committed such a heinous act?" beseeched Zeoticus.
Lord El Melloi II looked at everyone present and then just huffed to himself, "Sherlock Holmes, I am not. Whoever did this is good and very well prepared in the craft of assassination. It would take time to root out the perpetrator. Time I do not think we have as I do not think you can lock down this mansion for extended periods of time barring not only yourself but the leaders of the underworld from attending major meetings."
"While I would also like to eviscerate whoever tried to harm Shirou-kun and turn them into shaved ice, he is right. We have duties as leaders of the underworld and while a crime has been committed, the only person it affects is the supposed dead heir of the Gremory clan. And that is a problem you will have to resolve as well, Sirzechs. How are you going to explain this to the populace at large? I realize the dead can walk but a Devil who hasn't been seen for ten years will draw unwanted attention to your family. Attention none of us want right now." mused Serafall showing her intelligence and cunning that helped her not only win a war but retain her position as Leviathan.
"Might I suggest questioning the maid or extracting her memories to see who hypnotized her?" spoke up a sensual voice that made almost all the men shiver in pleasure.
Waver turned and saw the last of Zeoticus' wives present sipping from a bottle of sake with her finely manicured hand. Her hair was done up in a ponytail and several combs and needles holding it in place. Her hair drifted over and covered her left eye, "Before you ask, my name is Kagero Gremory. I suggest this method as all devils to a degree can manipulate memories and it shouldn't be too hard to see who hypnotized the girl."
Lord El Melloi II hummed in thought then looked to Zeoticus and Venelana at the head of the table, "If you could summon Siesta, we can get to the bottom of this."
A few minutes later, the shy maid was brought into the dining hall and nearly fainted from the pressure of multiple very powerful people laid their gaze upon her.
"Lady Siesta," Lord El Melloi II's firm voice snapped her out of almost passing out.
"Yes Milord?" asked the frightened maid who felt if she answered wrong, she would be obliterated.
"I am going to do a simple spell that allows me to view your memories alright?" Siesta nodded along, giving her ascent.
Lord El Melloi II chanted a few lines of an aria and Siesta's eyes glowed as he looked into hers. A few moments passed and all was quiet.
"Well brother, what did you find?" spoke up Reines, hoping to have this case over and done with so she could enjoy breakfast.
"Hmmm, It seems whoever did this covered their tracks well. The hypnotism used was not direct but from indirect cues and phrases to activate upon Siesta hearing the keywords. Keywords that could be something as simple as good morning. If I had more resources or to even further examine her brain, I might be able to crack this. Sherlock Holmes, I am not."
"So are you saying that the person who tried to kill my son but also his friends is going to get away with it?" demanded Zeoticus as his own power started to caused others to wince, even his own children.
"I only can say that more time and allowing the assassin to try again with more vigilance would be necessary. They won't attempt this again anytime soon so we will have to wait and see. I suggest talking to your wives and working on your current marital problems. That is only a suggestion. I dare not give advice on how to live your life or treat your wives." remarked Lord El Melloi II as Zeoticus took in what he said and looked at his wives then just put his hands on his face and signed.
The room quieted down until Venelana cleared her throat, "Well since breakfast is ruined there was a glaring issue that your return complicates, Hersei."
"If it is my taking the spot of heir, lady Gremory I dare not deprive Rias of her birthright," commented Shirou.
"You can take it!" squawked Rias causing everyone to look at her in surprise, especially the Magi who understood just how bloody the position of heir could be.
He was honestly shocked by the sheer vehemence in her tone. "Well if you're sure."
Winking at him and giving him a thumbs up, Rias told her younger brother, "I'm more positive than HIV."
Shirou blinked, looked at his father and asked, "Is that a normal form of humor around here?"
"Oh, yeah. Just a little bit of black comedy. It's pretty common amongst devils. Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Zeocitus assured his amnesiac son while he chuckled at Rias' joke.
"If that's the case, then could this potential poisoning be considered a form of prank, what with black comedy and all?" The long-lost heir of the Gremory House asked.
Sirzechs gave a mirthless laugh. "Little brother, there's a big difference between attempted murder and black comedy."
"The Addams Family begs to differ, Sirzechs." Shirou pointed out.
Satan Red of the Satan Rangers nodded, "Point, but as you can see, no one is laughing."
"Fair," Shirou agreed before asking, "so as the Heir, what exactly will I have to do if anything?"
Zeocitus and Ritsuka shared a look, "Well, firstly we need to contact the Phenex Clan and let them know that the original engagement between you and their fourth child Ravel is back on. Before now, Rias was set to marry their third son Riser, but with you returning, that changes things."
"So, I have a fiancé, okay. Ouch, Rin stop that," he said when the Tohsaka heiress smacked him upside the back of the head glaring at him angrily.
"I, your girlfriend, am right here you giant idiot!" Rin snapped as she glared daggers at him in response to his obliviousness. She knew however that she couldn't be too angry with him. As an heir to a noble house, he would be expected to fulfill certain obligations… that didn't mean she had to like it though.
Still rubbing the back of his dome, the magi apprentice replied, "I'm so sorry Tohsaka but I'm not exactly sure what you want me to do here. Turn down the contract and have the Gremory Clan lose face?"
Rin flushed but huffed, understanding how snubbing one noble house to another could look, "No but… I saw you first damn it!"
"Ahem, I do believe I saw him first," Serafall said, pointedly clearing her throat.
"He doesn't even remember you, go be a whore on your own time!" Rin snapped back with her rage clouding her judgment.
"You've got a big mouth for such a small girl," Serafall's eyes flicked down to Rin's chest when she said small.
"You wanna die, you lameass cosplayer?!" Rin asked through gritted teeth.
"Please, like you could touch me with your kiddie pool magic before I turned you into a popsicle." Serafall huffed, her breath misting as she breathed out eyes briefly flashing crimson in challenge.
"Enough!" Altria said standing up and for just a brief moment, unleashing the brilliant light of Excalibur from the folds of Invisible Air. She glared hawkishly at Serafall, "Shirou is under my protection, any attempts to harass him shall be both met and put down with force!" She then turned her regal gaze on Rin, "And Rin, you should not be so easily needled. Especially by one who is just jealous that you have what she does not." She then finished with, "And furthermore, I know him better than anyone here, I've seen his entire life from the start of the fire onwards. If any wish to refute me, I am more than ready to throw hands!"
"Throw hands, Saber?" Shirou had never heard his former Servant talk like this.
"What? Surely you didn't expect me to sleep all the time to conserve energy during the Holy Grail War, Shirou?" The Servant of the Sword asked with a slight smirk, "After a while I got bored and started watching the television…" She quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Tis but a scratch?"
"I am not jealous!" Serafall denied, "I'm beyond pissed that the precious little darling boy that basically acted as my living emotional crutch for my hateful family and PTSD...not healthy I know but fuck it, doesn't remember me at all!"
"I'm sorry?" Shirou awkwardly apologized. He didn't really mind being a crutch, emotional or otherwise. It was more that fact that he was the cause of her current distress that bothered him.
Serafall slashed her hand through the air, killing his apology. "Not your fault!" She said in a softer more pleading tone, "Is it so wrong to want that relationship back though? Even if I have to start from square one?"
"No," Shirou replied with a shake of his head, "No it's not, but you have to realize it won't be the exact same relationship. Try as I might, I can't be Hersei Gremory. I can only be Emiya Shirou. He's… I'm all that's left."
"I think I speak for both myself and your mother when I say you could call yourself Adolf Hitler and I could still care less. You're still you. You're not dead. That's all that matters." Zeocitus said firmly.
"Damn right!" Ritsuka replied in agreement with her shared husband.
"I have one rogue devil in my Peerage, and no one ever lets me live it down," Ajuka Beelzebub complained.
All the humans did a double take and Luvia spoke for the group saying, "Wait what?"
"Oh, that's right, you don't know!" Serafall said as she started chortling, "Ajuka here resurrected Adolf Hitler as his Pawn in his Peerage… he then went Rogue and kinda caused World War Two."
"I said I was sorry!" The Super Genius apologized. "I guess that nerve gas did more damage to his mind than I thought… that or finding out he had the True Longinus inside of him gave him delusions of grandeur. Either or."
"We can't even kill him," Serafall huffed, "He's become semi-deified and become an offshoot of several storm, war, and death deities."
"Yeah, strange how that happened." Sirzechs noted. "Though considering how many people were killed and died in his name I suppose it's not that odd."
"Is this like a state secret thing that you should be casually talking about?" Shirou asked, feeling a sudden case of mood whiplash.
"Oh, this is common knowledge in the underworld," Sirzechs said, waving him off. "One of the biggest blunders in history on our end."
"He killed six million people in death camps, I'd call it more than just a blunder," Rin said, palling a bit.
"Well yeah… but… how do I put this delicately…" Sirzechs said, "They were only humans?"
"What do you mean by that?" Shirou asked, his voice deathly calm as he glared at Sirzech.
"Humans aren't like Devils, their lives are short, and they can reproduce quickly. Had Hitler turned his genocidal tendencies on us, we'd have been wiped out. Give humans a few centuries and they'll recoup those numbers and then some."
Shirou grimaced. Sirzechs had just displayed how truly inhuman Devils were. Did they view humans as vermin, like rats? No, that couldn't be the case because they cared for them, had children with them… and yet Sirzechs words just then showed that even the Gremory viewed themselves as above humans. To Shirou who wanted to save everyone, such a line of thinking was unacceptable to him.
Yet he took a breath, and told his older brother, "While I understand where you're coming from, you just made yourself look like an ass. And not just you, but all Devils, as according to what you just said, view humans as little more than animals, rapidly reproducing vermin… vermin that some Devils, our father included, saw fit to reincarnate into one of your own… and have a child with."
"I… that wasn't what I meant at all!" Sirzechs denied. "What I meant… Like I said… Auntie Ritsuka, you know I meant no offense, right?"
Ritsuka had her amber eyes narrowed, cheeks puffed out, and arms crossed, "I dunno, I'm feeling rather offended right now." She glanced at her husband, "I sure hope you never saw me as some animal you were taking pity on by taking in."
"Animal? No, never! Pity… Just once when we first met… You had been through so much when I found you. You were called a cursed child simply due to your bloodline, and if I remember correctly, were going to be sacrificed via a thousand cuts with your ancestors' own weapons to appease the gods and bring back the rains."
"Stupid insane villagers," Ritsuka muttered under her breath, "Like it's my family's fault a drought happens." She then clapped her hands together, "Anyway, there is one last thing that needs to be taken care of," Pointing at her son she said, "You're still human, we need to fix that. Sylpha, my Evil Piece set please."
The silver haired maid appeared by her mistress' side in a flash, holding a small ornate wooden box, "Here you are, milady."
Opening the box, Ritsuka pulled out a Queen Piece, "How about it son, want to become my queen? I've got one of every piece available except for pawns, I've got all of the others, so you can have the pick of the litter."
"Umm, while Queens are the strongest piece overall, I have a feeling I'd get mocked if I took it." Shirou told his mother.
Serafall nodded along in agreement, "See!? It's like I always said! The Queen Piece is for girls! Vindication!" She said, throwing a fist up into the air.
After a moment, Ritsuka conceded the point, "Hmm, I suppose some of the more lowbrow Devils would go for the low hanging fruit. Alright then, what piece would you prefer? Bishop, Knight, Rook perhaps?"
Clearing his throat, Shirou replied, "Actually, I think a Pawn piece would suit me just fine. Oww, Rin stop doing that!" He said as he sent the Average One a mild glare this time for smacking him upside the head.
"The only reason you want a Pawn Piece is so you can justify being a sacrificial idiot, idiot!" Rin replied glaring into his eyes that started to get a little teary at where that mindset would bring him.
"Well, no, actually I was thinking about the tactical advantage of being able to rank up into whatever ability needed when in enemy territory. Damn that hurts, did you reinforce your hand that time or something?"
"I thought it was prudent to get my point across." Rin huffed.
"Please stop hurting Mr. Shirou!" Gray said, looking at Rin with big watery eyes.
'Gah, why is she so cute!' Rin wondered, looking at Saber, she silently asked, 'How are you related again?'
The taciturn Servant of the Sword shrugged in silent response. 'She reminds me of what I could've been had I not pulled Caliburn from the stone.' Altria mused to herself.
In her defense, Rin said, "Hey, sometimes you need to be forceful with him, you'll understand once you're around him long enough and his antics drive you to your wits end too, Gray."
Gray looked between her and Shirou seemingly not convinced but choosing not to comment.
"Okay, so Pawn piece then?" Ritsuka asked for clarification.
"Please," Her son replied.
Rin got up and left the room, "When you're done Emiya-kun, I'd like to talk to you privately for a bit."
"You're leaving right now?" Serafall challenged.
Rin fired over her shoulder, her voice as haughty as Medea of Colchis, "I already saved him from dying once, you'll have to forgive me if I don't want to stick around for him dying again, no matter how temporary it might be."
"Rin," Shirou muttered under his breath, concerned for her wellbeing. But that could wait, he had something to take care of at the moment. "Do you need me to lay down?" He asked his mother.
"It is the easiest," His mother replied, motioning to the open space of marble floor to their left.
Laying down on the floor, Shirou took a breath as his mother stood above him holding five Pawn Pieces in her cupped hands. "I'm ready," he told her after a moment.
"Okay, just relax this shouldn't hurt a bit, it'll be just like falling asleep for a brief moment." Ritsuka assured her progeny as the crimson magic circle appeared beneath him on the floor moments before she dropped the Evil Pieces, and they fused into his chest.
Shirou felt himself drift off to sleep for a moment… and the next, his Magic Circuits were flooded with prana more than he'd ever managed to eke out of them, more than he'd had even when he'd formed a pseudo-contract with Rin so he could use Unlimited Blade Works to fight Gilgamesh. He felt suddenly wired as if he'd just drank an entire pot of tea by himself.
"Easy son, easy, that's just your body adjusting to the sudden influx of magical energy. It'll pass." Zeoticus said having gotten up from the table and now having a hand placed on Shirou's shoulder to prevent him from moving.
Shirou took several breaths and let them out. Once his heartbeat settled, he said, "I'm alright, but I need to go talk to Rin, so if you could all let me get up, please?"
"I took the liberty of showing her to the library, Young Master," Sylpha told him from the entrance to the dining hall. "Please follow me if you would."
(...)
The Gremory Library rivaled pictures he'd seen of the Library of Congress. Massive oak shelves went from one wall to the next with four rows deep in between. Throughout the room were candelabras and chandeliers, which cast the room in a warm light. Shirou resisted the urge to wince as his shoes made noise on the solid wooden floor. He found Rin pouring over some old tome at a desk.
Without even looking up she said, "Did you know that neither of your siblings have inherited the Gremory magical trait? According to this book, the Gremory Clan magic trait is future sight. Yet both Rias and Sirzechs have inherited their mother's Power of Destruction from the Bael Clan."
"Is that so?" Shirou didn't really know what to say to that. It's not like he didn't care, because it was interesting to know, but it wasn't why he was here. But Tohsaka was just like this. She liked to give lectures, so he let her talk before she got to the point.
"Yeah, according to this book every Devil Clan has a magical trait, but so far, none of your dad's kids have shown signs of inheriting his." She glanced up at him. "Except for maybe you."
"I'd ask why you think that, but we both know you're about to tell me, so why don't you just skip the theatrics and get on with it, Rin?"
"Well, someone's grouchy," Rin noted.
"Being reincarnated gives you a headache," Shirou informed her. "Now, can you please get on with it?"
"Fine, if you insist. You know Archer had a skill that practically made him clairvoyant right?"
"True Mind's Eye, yes, what of it? It's not a supernatural skill, just enhanced observation for planning on the battlefield." Shirou retorted.
"But what if there's more to it than that?" Rin queried, "What if it was actually the dregs of the Gremory Clan trait, shining through?"
"Rin, as fascinating as this is, what's really bothering you?" Shirou asked, walking over and placing his hand on her shoulder. "You don't get like this for no reason. So, tell me what's wrong."
Rin sighed in annoyance. "You really are more perceptive than I give you credit for. All of this, Devils, their society, rules and expectations for you, and what it means for me, it's just a lot you know?"
"I'm not going to love you any less Rin,"
Turning in her seat, Rin glared and all but shouted at him, "I'm sure that's what all your father's wives thought at first too, and yet, not even an hour ago, I'm pretty sure one of them just tried to kill all of us!" She looked away ashamed even as she said it, "I'm sorry that was uncalled for, but the point still stands. You can say that now, but how can you promise me it won't change? Ten thousand years is a long time, Shirou."
Shirou took a knee so he could more easily look her in the eye. "Tohsaka Rin, I freely admit I'm a lot of things. Oblivious, stubborn, and mostly set in my ways. But one thing I will never regret is falling in love with you. You are smart, kind, loving, and you care for people more than you'd like to admit to them or even yourself. You worry about other people so much that you didn't even let yourself have friends thinking you might put them in danger. But I see the real Rin underneath all that bluster. She's a kind, innocent, if lonely girl who really, really wants to have friends, but she won't admit it to anyone. Least of all herself, because if she does they could get hurt by associating with her or worse, she could get hurt by them somehow. But you don't need to be afraid anymore, Rin. I'm not going anywhere, and neither is Saber. Okay?" After a moment of silence he asked, "How'd I do?"
"Solid character analysis," Rin said, slumping her shoulders. "Dare I ask how you figured out the whole friendless bit?"
"You constantly turned down Yukika-chan when she invited you anywhere and you were raised by Kirei of all people. It wasn't exactly what I'd call hard to figure out."
Rin put a hand to her chest, "You wound me, Shirou."
"Tis but a scratch?" He humored her.
"Come here and I'll bite off your ankles." Rin retorted flatly. The two shared a wan smile before Rin continued, "You know if you marry me, I'll just be considered a concubine, right?" Shirou made a sour face at that, like he'd just drank some umeboshi tea. "It didn't even cross your mind, did it?" Rin sighed, "Well, I suppose I shouldn't complain too much, I get to live for ten millennia and have an heir to pass my magic crest down to for posterity if nothing else." Rin then posed a question, "What Evil Piece were you going to offer me anyway?"
"A Bishop, you're already a talented magi so even more magical energy would be a good idea no?"
"Not the Queen Piece?" Rin sounded only slightly put out.
"I was going to offer that to Saber, mainly because I felt she might find offering her anything less an insult considering her former station in life."
Rin opened her mouth, then closed it, "That actually makes a good bit of sense."
"I have my moments when I'm not? How did you put it? Being suicidally heroic all the time?"
"Well, have those Pawn Pieces actually made you smarter too?" Rin teased.
Shirou rolled his eyes. "I've no idea what you mean Rin, I've always been smart, maybe not a perfectionist on the school tests like some people I could mention but will remain nameless, but I'd like to think I've never been stupid."
"So, what about Gray, are you going to take her up on her offer to be your Knight?"
"Well that depends, are you going to have a problem with it if I do?" Shirou retorted.
"Why do my feelings even matter?!" Rin shouted at him.
"Because they matter to me!" Shirou shouted back. "You matter to me, Rin," He said softly as he hugged her, "That hasn't suddenly changed just because I found my birth parents and their society is a little different. If their rules won't accept us then we'll just leave. Barring that well, I have an unlimited supply of swords, and they can only afford to throw so many bodies at me before suing for peace."
"Shirou, you can't murder an entire society for me."
"The Greeks did it for Helen."
"I am not anywhere near on par with Helen of Troy!" Rin sputtered, blushing into the crook of his arm.
"You are to me, and I'll prove it if I have to," He replied.
"GAHH! Idiot! You say stupid things like that and it makes it impossible for me not to love you!" Rin said as she squeezed him for all she was worth while she buried her head in his shirt.
Stroking a hand through her hair, Shirou replied, "I love you too, Rin," After a moment he asked, "Are you really going to have a problem with Gray? She seems nice."
"Shirou, you're still completely oblivious about women, you know that?" Rin replied as she gently held him. "Firstly, you don't talk about other women to the woman you're with, secondly, you are completely clueless to the signs of a girl liking you."
The newly incarnated Devil was thrown for a loop, "Gray? Me? But we just met?"
"And you casually cured her of a curse that was turning her into a certain Servant we are both intimately familiar with. You didn't think she'd be grateful at all? And that those emotions might develop into something?" She pulled back and flicked him on the forehead, "You idiot." Rin sighed, "But it's fine I guess. Harems seem to not only be accepted but encouraged here. I just… need some time to wrap my head around that fact. Especially if we're going to stay here."
Shirou segwayed into a new topic, "Actually, I was thinking of going back to Fuyuki for a bit."
"Why? Don't you want to stay? And what about taking up your family duties?" Rin enquired.
"Oh I still intend to do all of that, it's just it doesn't feel right to just up and leave without letting Fuji-nee or Sakura know or telling them goodbye. They'd think we just got up and disappeared or eloped with Saber or something."
"E-Eloped?!" Rin squeaked out, blushing at the thought. 'Oh God, if they start thinking that I ran away with Emiya-kun, and rumors start flying, my reputation will… well honestly I don't care about my reputation at this point. Still, people would start questioning things and Fujimura-sensei could get in trouble, she doesn't deserve that.' Rin decided. "Yeah, it would be best to go back if only to stop a police investigation from starting."
"Ah yeah, the Holy Grail War caused a huge mess… and Kirei was evil… but wasn't it also his job to cover that stuff up…" He gave her a concerned look as he asked, "Rin who's doing that if he's dead?"
"Fuck!" Rin swore, she hadn't thought about that at all. She was really just happy that she and Shirou had survived the whole mess, "We may need to head back to Fuyuki and do damage control as soon as possible, Emiya-kun."
"I'll tell mom and dad, who knows maybe they can help." Shirou said as he began to walk out of the library.
'He didn't even realize he just called them mom and dad.' Rin thought happy for her lover. She would've been a whole lot happier if she didn't think her fat was about to be thrown in the fryer. She sincerely hoped the Gremory could help or else she might have to move to this dimension permanently, lest she be hunted by Enforcers till the end of her days for breaking the secrecy of magecraft.
(...)
Word Count: 9,730 Number of Pages: 20 Date Completed: 6/25/2024
(...)
AN: Hello People! Hello and welcome to another chapter of Prodigal Son Returns! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I do writing it as usual. Lots of emotional things happened this chapter, and more will happen in the next one… probably. Till then this is Bubbajack signing off, and leaving you with the peanut gallery that are my co-authors and editors.
Snowy: Hello everyone, your friendly neighborhood Snowsage here, and I'm on vacation this week to Tampa Bay Florida so I don't have much to say. Other than the fact that I have EARNED MY REST DAMN IT! My actual job outside of helping Bubba is hard, and I needed a well deserved break. I hope you all enjoy the chapter while I have fun while the others slave away on the editing for once.
Antagonist: I certainly agree with what Coffee is saying about how the devils of this story seem. And for those of you who go and talk about how the church wouldn't support a devil and would stop his genocidal goals you do know of the holy sword project right, as well as the attempts to clone Sigurd? (This is based on the fact that the church was said to have supported hitler in WWII)
Loamy Coffee: Certainly an enlightening look into the Gremory clan, though understandably, Shirou doesn't agree with some of their views on humans. I do hope people understand Harems need proper and continuous maintenance. Looking forward to seeing Sakura and Taiga's reactions to Shirou's new status.
Thanks again for reading, this has been an Inkblot Bros Production! Till next time, Peace!