The first couple of days of the curfew were interesting. But to be fair, Matthew found the whole concept interesting simply because he was invested.
For the first couple of days, nothing happened. The city's inhabitants waited in bated anticipation as if something sudden and big would happen, and it was inevitable. The police and media were hounded for more information by the public - a majority terrified and others morbidly interested. Though, as soon as Matthew turned to the internet the percentage of those morbidly interested increased tenfold. It made sense when anything else off the internet had to be presented with more sensitivity and seriousness, so naturally, the online environment was much different.
Because of the internet, the Trail Killer was trending for all the expected reasons and unexpected. Even with Alfred's guests still camping in the house, Matthew spent a lot of his time engaged with his phone to the point of addiction and concern for his eye health. True crime was trending with no indication of slowing and wherever he looked there were discussions of all kinds about the Trail Killer or the curfew. It was exhilarating and Matthew hoped it would never stop.
As promised, news of the upcoming funeral was everywhere and you'd have to truly live under a rock to be oblivious to it. With so many people talking about it and seemingly planning to go, Matthew felt confident in his decision to go. After all, he had this uncanny ability to be overlooked by everyone.
Matthew had showered at breakfast to avoid being made to cook, an easy task to avoid when Feliciano enthusiastically jumped to offer his culinary help at every opportunity with Antonio right behind him. As far as Matthew was aware there was nothing on the agenda for today so he was caught off guard when Alfred, Antonio and Kiku were getting ready to leave.
"Where are you guys going?" Even if he wasn't going to get an answer he refused to train himself into being silenced. He wasn't going to be 'Matthew'.
"Shopping and errands and shit," Alfred said, sounding annoyed at being questioned, his tone suggesting again. "We'll get back when we get back, just keep everyone happy for me alright?"
Matthew internally scowled at having that tone directed at him and his eyes lingered on the door even after they had left. Keep everyone happy? Was that just what he was born for? That was all he used to do and now it ruined him.
Matthew also felt a pang of annoyance because he could just tell by how Alfred was acting that he was lying. It wasn't just his acting, but the excuse was weak - Matthew was the one who did all of the shopping. If he didn't do it then it wouldn't get done. So he knew that Alfred was doing something else, but he couldn't think of what. He didn't care to deduct it now when he could check Alfred's location later. Right now Gilbert was lingering behind him and Matthew internally raised an eyebrow when Gilbert scoffed.
"This is not at all awkward, it's so un-awesome I've gotta be babysat because I know that's what you're doing!" His voice is raspy and almost a whisper but better than when he first arrived.
"It's not that bad!" Feliciano said as he hovered around Gilbert. "We could do something fun!"
Ever since coming here Feliciano hadn't been alone and was always hanging off someone. Matthew just hoped Gilbert wouldn't be an asshole to Feliciano about it because this would be the first time the two of them would be alone.
Well, alone plus Matthew.
There weren't many activities to choose from to begin with, but since Gilbert was low on energy and supposed to be recovering from exerting himself with grief, he agreed to let Feliciano put a movie on. It took until Feliciano turned on the TV for Gilbert to snatch the remote with the explanation that it should be him who got to choose what they were watching.
Matthew was sitting on the couch with them and looked up from his never-ending scrolling of the internet to keep an eye on the situation. If Gilbert gave him an opportunity, Matthew would finally exercise his bark. Something he'd be in the right to do socially if it meant standing up for poor Feliciano.
But Feliciano seemed all too happy to let Gilbert do what he wanted and bounced his legs as he waited, meaning Matthew wouldn't have an opportunity for conflict. Eventually, Gilbert settled on something, Matthew didn't care for what it was. He had his phone, plus Gilbert and Feliciano for entertainment.
Gilbert couldn't concentrate on the movie and at some point, he gave into whatever he had been silently debating to ask Feliciano.
"Hey Feli," Gilbert tried to clear his throat to fix the raspiness but it didn't work. "How do you cope? Cus you lost Lovi... and now Lud's gone... so how do you deal with just not having a brother anymore."
There was a tense silence where even the movie playing in the background felt like it was intruding. Matthew was waiting for Feliciano's answer, even if he didn't know if an answer was coming or not. Feliciano was completely still and either contemplative or absent.
"I don't..." Feliciano whispered. "I can't... I don't know, I'm sorry..."
"Well, that's just fucking great!" Gilbert threw his hands up with a shout. Then he snatched a nearby pillow and smothered his face into it as he screamed.
"Please don't do that Gil!" Feliciano's voice was raw as he tugged at the pillow. "Please! If you want to know what helps, just imagine what Ludwig wants you to do and then do that!"
"So what? You just imagine what your brother would want?" Gilbert growled and threw the pillow to the side. "How the fuck does that help?!"
"It doesn't!" Feliciano admitted. "It just doesn't hurt because if I don't do things that would've upset Lovi then I'm not hurting myself."
"Just say you don't have any fucking advice," Gilbert grumbled, his knuckles white as he balled his fists, distorting the pillow.
"I'm so sorry Gil, nothing's ever going to be okay. I just listened because Antonio said it and I wanted to make him feel like he was helping but I don't think I can be helped..."
Gilbert huffed in agreement. Matthew kept his eyes on his phone as he listened in. Surely one day they'd be okay, but maybe right now it was easy to believe they wouldn't be.
"I can't be helped either," Gilbert disclosed, his voice barely audible. "I'm going to be fucking stuck like this forever."
But then again, Matthew knew what it was like to be irreversibly broken and ruined. Maybe they'll never be okay, but that was okay. They were still better off than Matthew had ever been.
The couch shook with the force Feliciano threw himself at Gilbert, latching his arms around him and crying into him. Gilbert hugged him back tightly.
"Ludwig loved you a lot! I know he did!" Feliciano insisted. "He'd want you to get better!"
"Well, I can't get better until the asshole that did this knows what it feels like."
"Your Grandfather will catch him and then we'll be okay and no one else will have to get hurt anymore!"
Matthew had to wonder how much Feliciano believed in his own optimistic preaching.
"Ludwig would want you to be okay too," Gilbert said with a faraway look and ironic chuckle. "He'd want someone to look after you..."
A look came across Gilbert's face as he debated saying something else. He gave in.
"Feli, our families are fucked up and we're both missing brothers. How about I be your brother and you be mine? Ludwig loved you a lot so I love you too and if I wanna honour Lud..."
Gilbert looked like he was strangling Feliciano with how tightly he was hugging, but if anything it looked like Feliciano couldn't be hugged enough. The latter was grabbing at Gilbert like he was holding on for dear life as he tearfully agreed to the strange arrangement Gilbert had suggested. Though Matthew supposed it only seemed strange for him because unlike these two, he still had his brother. If only physically... emotionally was another story. He wished he could understand what they were going through but it all felt like some kind of production instead of emotions he could understand.
But still, he had to admit it was a little moving and Matthew was happy for Feliciano. Maybe not so much Gilbert, Matthew just hoped that he wouldn't drop the ball with this new arrangement and hurt Feliciano.
Matthew used the lull in conversation to check Alfred's current location, which was pinging where Gilbert lived. He wondered what Alfred could be doing there. Maybe Antonio needed something? But why lie about it? Going through Alfred's location history Matthew could see they never stopped at any stores, only going straight there.
What did they intend to do?
When Gilbert paused the movie and awkwardly pried himself out from under a clingy Feliciano, Matthew waited until he heard the bathroom door lock before he struck.
"Are you feeling better today?" He asked, catching Feliciano's attention.
"Yeah, only a little bit," the Italian chuckled, "but I just keep myself distracted."
Matthew nodded.
"That agreement you made with Gilbert..." He started slowly, "Doesn't that make you feel like Lovino's being erased?"
Feliciano swallowed and sunk back on the couch.
"Not really?" He uttered as he wrung his hands together. "Cus... he'll always be my brother and I'll always love him... and..."
"What about Ludwig?" Matthew asked. "Doesn't that mean Gilbert's erasing him?"
"No!" Feliciano shook his head, his hair flying around him from the force of it. "No! We'll never forget Ludwig! I just want to make sure Gil's okay because Lud would want him to be okay!"
Matthew started to feel like an asshole as Feliciano went into a defensive and sad rant that ended with him staring somewhere past Matthew which made him think that Feliciano was arguing more with himself than Matthew at this point. Matthew cringed and grabbed onto Feliciano's shoulder's as he tried to calm him down.
"Sorry," Matthew really didn't mean to make Feliciano upset. "Sorry, I was just..." asking because why? Because somehow, it bothered Matthew.
It was because if that had been Alfred he wouldn't even hesitated to replace him. That was why.
And if Alfred had been the one to die, Matthew would've felt so guilty at even trying to find comfort for himself when he'd know Alfred's friends were suffering too. Somehow 'Matthew' felt second-hand guilt from witnessing Gilbert and Feliciano's agreement and Matthew wanted to tear his hair out because he couldn't help but feel the echoes of 'Matthew' screaming.
Worse, was how he always came to find out that he was wired wrong. Of course he thought of it, but Feliciano who was normal, hadn't. Normal people didn't think the way he did or feel guilt for those sorts of things yet here Matthew was once again realising in all the ways he was messed up. The only thing he felt guilty for now was not realising that normal people didn't think like that and now he put those thoughts into Feliciano's head! Unnecessarily.
Matthew should've shouldered the guilty thoughts, so no one would have to. Typical, but why should he suffer? He couldn't help but feel conflicted and Matthew bit his lip as he twisted his fingers in his hair.
"What happened?" Gilbert croaked as he came back in.
"He feels guilty," Matthew explained, catching how Gilbert's eyes jumped to him because apparently the albino had been asking Feliciano and not him.
Whatever, at least Matthew could still articulate words. Words that he would have to use to get Feliciano out of the mess he created. Matthew continued to rub Feliciano's shoulder as he and Gilbert made a common enemy out of Feliciano's demons.
Alfred, Antonio and Kiku came back way later than they should've, walking through the door just before dinner. Alfred and Kiku were in the middle of an argument about who should use the shower first, subverting Matthew's expectations because Alfred was actually arguing for Kiku to use it before he did. There had been a couple of instances when the twins were growing up when Alfred had shoved Matthew out of the way in order to get to the shower first and Matthew thought he could still see a faint outline of a scar on his forehead from when Alfred shoved him into the doorframe once.
Back to the current day, Alfred won the argument by making a big show of pushing up his sleeve before manhandling his friend into the bathroom and pulling the door closed. Matthew didn't think poor Kiku deserved the rough treatment.
"Where the fuck have you been?" Gilbert demanded, obviously suspicious about what his friends were actually up to all day.
"Don't talk amigo," Antonio fretted as he went to fawn over Gilbert. "You need to save your voice!"
"Opa would prefer I sound like shit, remember?" Gilbert coughed dryly and his angry face morphed into a wince.
"Yeah but it hurts you to sound like shit," Alfred argued. "Also Toni, you're showering next."
Matthew glanced over them and noticed they all looked dusty and covered in splotchy stains, maybe like they had been cleaning... There was Matthew's answer. Alfred had let it slip in a text that Gilbert's place was a mess. Pair that with Gilbert's cuts and bruises, it suggests Gilbert trashed his own place.
"You don't have any shopping with you," Gilbert said, accusatorial.
"Oops, left it in the car," Alfred explained. "But we did some other errands and we had to stop by Kiku's- we did a lot of stuff but it doesn't matter cus we're back now and you're well rested, right?"
"At least it looks like Feli is," Antonio smiled as he pulled the curtains to keep the last of the daylight from shining onto Feliciano as he dozed peacefully on the couch. At least it was peacefully, Matthew was thankful he was able to undo the damage and convince Feliciano that his new brotherhood with Gilbert was really sweet. And it a way it was.
"Wait, this is perfect," Alfred glanced between Feliciano and the bathroom door, a grin forming as he listened to the shower running. "It's scheming time."
Having caught on, Gilbert leaned forward with a tight toothy grin and Antonio sat beside him as Alfred paced in front of them. Matthew was still loitering around and he figured that his brother just had a massive blind spot where he was because shouldn't Alfred have noticed that Matthew was still around?
No, Matthew knew it was he just wasn't threatening enough. Alfred thought he was on board so why keep it from him? Matthew would never get in his way...
"So, I don't think we should go out until we know the shit the Chief wants to do hasn't worked," Alfred suggested. "Cus maybe it will work and then we won't have to do anything risky, but if it doesn't work we'll know about it because the police are into not lying to the public anymore... for some reason now."
"Why the fuck should we wait?" Gilbert croaked. "I don't care what happens to me, I can't just sit here and do nothing!"
"Dude, why the fuck are you saying that?" Alfred stressed. "It's risky cus if the police catch us not only are we gonna get in trouble and gonna get locked up so we can't go out later, but your Grandpa's gonna find out and I just know you're not going to like that!"
Gilbert pulled a hateful face at that idea, seemingly realising the stakes of getting caught.
"I just need Ludwig's killer to pay," he grunted. "I don't care how risky it is. Even if Opa's trying some unawesome plan I still want to try and find that asshole my way."
"I won't let you go out amigo," Antonio said softly and Gilbert narrowed his eyes at him.
"You actually think you can stop me?" Gilbert cackled.
"No, Toni, we can't," Alfred looked pained like he agreed. "But really none of us should be going out so what's the point in trying to stop each other? I mean yeah, we could cope in normal and healthy ways but we're too fucked up and stubborn, right? I'm just saying we should wait a little bit-"
"What if that asshole kills more people?" Gilbert barked sharply. "What if while we're waiting for Opa and the police to catch him, he doesn't get caught and more people die because we didn't try to catch him ourselves!"
"Gil-" Antonio was pale and Alfred looked constipated, like he agreed too much but still felt the need to argue against it. Matthew thought that Alfred was a hypocrite because he was going to go out, regardless if his friends waited or not.
"Yeah, I really feel that," Alfred said. "Fuck it, we'll have to organise it all later and talk to Ivan. Ivan's pretty much on board and said that even with all the shit going on, nothing's changed for him."
"What a surprise," Gilbert rubbed at his throat. "I know I shouldn't complain because the more the better, but I just hope he doesn't find that asshole before I do."
"Yeah me too, only cus I want that fucker alive enough to rot in prison," Alfred laughed.
"I'm sure Ivan will hold back," Antonio said dismissively as he glanced at their sleeping friend. "But whatever we do, we have to keep it from Feli. The last thing I want to do is upset him..."
Gilbert and Alfred agreed with silent nods.
"Okay, so how about we get through the funeral first then," Alfred murmured. "At least..."
Eventually, Gilbert reluctantly nodded and they stopped talking. But Matthew knew the subject wasn't over. Not until they were out there once again.
When Matthew couldn't sleep, he thought. Alfred was asleep beside him, having adjusted to the new bed after the first eventful night. He was peaceful when asleep and Matthew found he didn't mind him much then. When it was late and quiet, it left a lot of room for possibilities of what could've been. Imagination ran wild and an old Matthew might've been brought to tears about what he'd never get.
But now Matthew didn't like thinking about what kind of life he could've had if he had been accepted from birth and embraced by the village. So he thought of other things.
He would've liked to keep souvenirs of his victims but he found his memories to be enough. Replaying them over and over, he was content with everything he achieved. But despite that content, there was always room for imagination. Just to entertain the thought, Matthew was always thinking about the Trail Killer's next move and what opportunities lay ahead.
It would seem that doors of opportunity had been slammed shut in his face because of the curfew, but Matthew knew better. He just wondered why the police didn't.
Once the ideas started flowing it seemed obvious. There were ways to get around the curfew without actually breaking the curfew. Have these so-called 'best and brightest' police officers forgotten that Arthur was murdered around lunchtime? Admittedly it was in a secluded area, but it was the middle of a bright and sunny day no less. Police can't enforce a full-day lockdown...
Never say never, perhaps they could. Who knew how the Chief would escalate. The idea of forcing the Chief to escalate was really tempting though and Matthew figured that if he made another move, that goal would be in the back of his mind.
Maybe Matthew could make it hard to tell when someone had died... but with technology and scientific knowledge nowadays it would be impossible to trick the police. He couldn't assume that they were stupid. He considered putting the body in water but that would still reveal the time and day of death. The only thing that would accomplish would be delaying when the body was discovered...
Oh, that's an idea. Matthew bit his lip as he considered killing people during the day and leaving the bodies in water to be discovered at night. It would certainly mess with the police and send a strong message about just what the Trail Killer thought about their curfew.
But then he saw the fatal flaw and his inevitable downfall. The police would certainly catch onto the new MO and would pay more attention to all available bodies of water... If the police didn't do anything to indicate their change in attention and Matthew went to dump a body, he could get caught. The plan of using water was too easy to turn against him. He tensed his jaw in frustration before sighing and sinking back into the comfortable covers.
What was he getting worked up for? These were just ideas but still it felt like there was no right answer. He had to remind himself that there was no pressure to act just yet and he had plenty of time to brainstorm. Who knew what grand idea would hit? There was no forcing explosive inspiration.
If anything, he should be thinking pragmatically. Matthew needed more information and should consider how things have changed on the streets. Maybe, since Alfred thought he was on board with them going out at night, he'd just ask Alfred about the conditions he noticed because of the curfew. If Matthew phrased it as concerned and scared, maybe Alfred would tell him what he wanted to know because he thought he was helping and playing the hero by comforting him with information.
Yes, Matthew would do that once he knew Alfred was going out again. Leaving the police to squirm with inaction first added to the thrill because he knew they'd be feeling the anticipation. Everyone was and everyone was waiting to see what would happen. Sure, there would be a reaction if after all these measures taken by the police, nothing happened... but Matthew wanted to think of the next 'explosion' because, after everything it took for him to get all eyes on him, he really didn't want to leave anyone disappointed.
But for now, he'd just think about it.