"Okay so this might be a tad cold hun", Dr. Thomas warns me before squirting some of the ultrasound jelly onto my still flat stomach.
"That's okay", I let out a deep breath and lay back a bit, getting comfortable on the exam table as I wait, hearing my own heart pounding in my chest out of nervousness.
I look over at Cappie as I can feel her moving the transducer around on my lower belly, silence filling the room as we wait to hear a heartbeat.
"Should we have heard it already?", I let out worriedly.
"No, sometimes it just takes awhile to find where the baby is on the abdomen when it's still this small", Dr. Thomas explains. "Don't worry, there's always a chance we won't be able to hear it today but that certainly doesn't mean anything bad".
"Okay", I nod up and down as me and Cappie share a look, waiting.
Suddenly a noise fills the quiet room.
Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh. Whoosh.
"Oh my god!", I let out, putting my hand over my mouth as I laugh. "That's it?"
"Yep, that's your baby!", Dr. Thomas smiles at us, I think really happy that she could find it for us today. "Isn't that great? It's really strong too. It's at about 100 BPM which is in a great range for almost nine weeks".
"Wow... I can't believe how strong it sounds", Cappie lets out with a slight laugh and I look over to see his jaw open, eyes wide as he truly looks shocked.
I don't really think there's any feeling I can really compare to this one. I hadn't ever felt anything like this. Shock, elation, happiness, and intense fear all at once. It felt unreal, that there was actually this thing in me responsible for an actual heartbeat, a thing that didn't even exist before that night during homecoming.
I can't help but smile at Cappie, feeling my stomach toss and turn when I think about the very fact that it's in there, our baby.
I can't help it in this moment, I lean over to kiss him, taking my hand to rest on the back of his neck as I pull him into me. It was just on instinct, like I wasn't thinking, I was just acting on feelings.
"Mmm", I let out against his lips. Honestly it just felt so good to kiss him again, like a relief, like this weight being lifted off.
I still have my hand at the back of his head in the tufts of his scruffy brown hair when we part. Then we just stare at each other for a moment, I think both unsure of what had just happened.
I can tell he wasn't expecting me to kiss him at all. Obviously because we haven't been doing so. Except for the night when he'd urged Ashleigh to make up with me and I'd kissed him out on the ZBZ lawn.
I'm also pretty sure he's surprised that I did so with the doctor in the room with us. But honestly as soon as I heard that heartbeat fill the room I almost forgot she was even here. I just felt so full of emotions, emotions for him, emotions for this baby that I was somehow starting to feel more and more for each day. And along with those feelings came feeling more and more for Cappie too. Obviously my feelings for him had never gone away… it's not like I had moved on and gotten over him.
But now hearing this baby's heartbeat, this baby that was half me and half him, this baby that I never expected to exist… it felt pretty insane. I hadn't even wanted it and now here I was crying over the fact that I could hear evidence that it existed, that it existed and was growing every day.
"Wow…", Cappie scoffs, speaking quietly as his eyes still stay fixed on me, the baby's heartbeat still filling the room.
"Pretty cool huh?", Dr. Thomas gives us a genuine smile.
"Yeah…", I nod, wiping away a tear from my cheek. "God, sorry, I'm crying again just like the last appointment".
I laugh slightly at myself then, feeling embarrassed as I look over to see Cappie smirking.
"Don't worry, it's a very emotional thing, hearing your baby for the first time. You're certainly not alone in that experience Casey", Dr. Thomas laughs slightly. "Well… that's it for today. I'll have the photos printed out and you can grab them from Alyssa at the front on your way out… I'll leave you two now. Congratulations mom and dad".
She gives us a knowing look, smirking slightly, I think in reaction to me kissing him.
I sort of wondered what she thought of us now... I knew it was kind of hard to keep up. I'm sure people would judge me for that, I know Ash and Rusty already thought it was weird, what me and Cap were doing. But they didn't realize that me and Cappie were always going to be like this… I'd kind of just come to terms with that at this point, that he'd always be in my life. I wanted him to be.
Because the truth was… I was really happy that if I'm having a baby that it's his baby.
"Wow that was… amazing", Cappie let's out a cross between a laugh and a sigh and I see a slight trace of wetness in his eyes. I'm sure he wouldn't ever admit it, or ever want me to know, but I could see he was emotional too. He was trying to hold back his tears.
"Yeah", I nod, smiling giddily as I watch him, just knowing that he got this emotional over hearing our baby was making me feel things. "Hey Cap?"
I look at him seriously now as he sits beside me, me now sitting up slightly on the exam table still wearing the blue medical gown they'd given me.
"Yeah?", He nods, his expression serious now too, matching mine.
"Can we… can we go to your room at KT?", I stammer out nervously.
"Yeah of course", He nods like it's no big deal.
He's not understanding what I'm getting at so I lean in again to kiss him, taking his lips in my own slowly, gently. Once my lips are on his he deepens the kiss, pulling me into him, his hand making it's way around my back.
I pull away first so I can speak, so I can let him know what I want, but nothing comes out of my mouth at first. I'm not used to taking charge like this with him, not used to initiating things. I mean… the only other time I'd really done this was a few weeks ago when this baby was made. And rush week in junior year of course when I sought him out to hookup with.
He looks back at me, a serious and slightly confused expression on his face, just waiting anxiously for me to speak and let him know why the hell I'd just kissed him twice in the span of five minutes. Especially when I was the one who had said we shouldn't be with each other in that way right now.
"I want to go back to your room with you because I want you", I say strongly.
I look into his eyes, my heart pounding a little faster as I do, scared to be this outright, to be this vulnerable. But I knew he would want this too.
"You do?", He raises his eyebrow slightly, a grin taking over his face slowly. "Wait… you mean you want to…?"
He trails off, still looking serious as he tries to analyze my expression, I think pretty shocked by this sudden decision.
"I want to have sex with you Cappie", I nod, finally just saying it, just spelling it out.
A grin takes over his whole entire face then, his blue eyes lighting up. He still looks surprised, but I don't think he's gonna question it much.
"Okay well let's go then", He nods, biting his lip as he tries to conceal how amused he is at this.
He helps pull me up off the exam table then, practically picking me up off of it so he can quickly get me to my feet. I just giggle at him trying to get me out of here as soon as possible.
"Here's your pants, and your top and your panties…", He goes through my clothes that he'd been holding for me. "Unless… you want to just leave those off to save time".
He looks up then, holding my black lace panties up in his hands, grinning like a devil.
I take them from his hand as I roll my eyes at him playfully.
"You're insane", I giggle as I shake my head, pulling them on underneath the gown I'm wearing.
I take the gown off then and throw it in the used linens bin, now just in my black bra and underwear. I turn around to grab the rest of my clothes from Cappie only to see him looking at me mischievously as his eyes scan up and down my body. I'm sure he's thinking about the fact that he's gonna get to take both pieces of my undergarments off me when we get home.
"What?", I laugh as I give him a smirk, grabbing my jeans and pulling them up my legs.
"Oh nothing, I'm just thinking about the time we could save if we just, say, locked the door and got things going right here on the exam table… it's similar enough to a bed and you're already almost naked", He smirks, playing around with me as I giggle at him.
"I think you can wait five minutes", I give him a look, now pulling my top up and over my head, getting it adjusted on my body.
"Uh yeah… I've waited like…", He thinks to himself. "Four weeks? And before that-"
I cut him off with my lips, leaning up to kiss him.
"I know you're good at waiting for me Cap", I grin at him then, watching the way that he's still sort of in shock at my sudden change in wanting to be intimate with him. "C'mon, let's go".
"Don't have to ask me twice", he nods, looking pleased as ever as he hands me my purse and I grab onto his hand, pulling him out with me to the waiting room. We grab the pictures and make the next 15 week appointment pretty quickly, I think both of us hoping we can get out of here as soon as humanly possible.
Once we get out of his car at the KT house I know we're both bursting at the seams.
Cappie always drove faster than most people I know, but this drive home I'm pretty sure he only narrowly avoided getting pulled over, thank god.
It's just about fully dark out now, we'd had the last appointment of the day with Dr. Thomas and the fact that it's Winter was making it dark at like 6pm now.
We walk up to the door of the KT house and, of course, it's open, so we make our way right in.
As soon as we're in the door he's kissing me.
And not the sweet, gentle kisses I was giving him in the doctor's office. No, these were full of wanting. They were urgent, desperate, clearly telling me he wanted to do much more than kiss tonight.
I wrap my arms around the back of his head, luckily wearing my heeled boots so I'm at least a little closer to his height and don't have to stand on my tippy toes to reach him.
Next thing I know he has his hands under my ass and he's hoisting me up. I squeal out as my legs instinctively wrap around his waist. I'm fully off the ground now, in Cappie's arms, legs around his waist, arms around his neck as we keep kissing like our lives depend on it.
Cappie walks down the hall, carrying me with him as he stumbles through the main floor.
"Oh hey Cap! ... Oh wai-", I hear a voice, Beaver's voice.
"Mmm", I let out, my lips still against Cappie's as I take my one hand off of him to quickly wave, not even sure where I'm waving to since my eyes have barely been open since I've set foot in here.
Cappie doesn't even bother to acknowledge Beaver. He's too busy finding the stairs, keeping me against him in his arms as if I weigh nothing, his hands I think liking their spot on my ass a little too much if you ask me.
He walks us up the stairs as we keep making out. I can't help but like the way my body's right against his, the friction from my pelvis being right against his waist, my jeans only enhancing the sensations I'm feeling. As if I didn't already want this enough right now.
"I knew it! I knew they were banging again!", I hear Beaver's voice, I guess talking to some of the other KT guys. Me and Cappie didn't even have the wherewithal to see who was home when we got in so I didn't even know who was here.
Cappie laughs against my lips then in response to Beaver's comments.
"I guess we'll deal with that later", I say quietly against him, looking into his eyes now as we both giggle.
"Yeah", He nods with an amused smirk, knowing his brothers are fairly used to seeing me come out of his room over the years, they knew our unpredictable dynamic well at this point.
Cappie's got us to the top floor now, bringing us to his room and then shutting the door behind us.
He lays me down gently on his bed, pretty slowly too, like he's being careful. I can't help but realize he's doing this because I'm pregnant. Usual Cappie was always gentle with me but he certainly wouldn't shy away from practically throwing me down on his bed when we were really caught up in the heat of things. But I didn't care that he was being extra cautious, in fact it was kind of sweet.
Finally we were alone now in his room just like I'd yearned for for the past half hour, the drive home feeling like eternities, feeling like I was going insane with wanting him.
He looks me over then as I lay here, him standing over me. I think he's still pretty taken aback that we were actually going to do this.
I pull my shirt off then, throwing it to the side of his bed, wanting to show him that I was completely up for this still.
His serious expression turns mischievous then, his usual smirk finding its way onto his face when he sees me in my black lace bra.
He leans down then to kiss me, hovering overtop me as I move back onto his bed to lay my head on one of the pillows on his bed.
I can feel the way he's trying not to put his weight on me when usually he wouldn't care, usually his body would be on mine already. But he was staying pretty far back from my still flat belly.
"Cap…"
"What? Am I hurting you?", He looks worried, moving back from me, instead moving to the right of me.
I can't help but laugh a bit then.
"No", I shake my head. "Not even close. I'm just trying to tell you that you don't have to treat me like glass, I'm like barely even pregnant yet".
"Okay", he laughs, nodding. "I know… I think it's just throwing me a little bit… knowing the baby's in you".
I lay there for a second, thinking to myself before I grab his hand as he looks at me quizzically.
I bring it to my lower belly then, this being the first time we've actually done this.
I'm pretty sure he'd wanted to maybe touch me here over the past few weeks but didn't know how comfortable I'd be with it… I don't know. Maybe he was freaked out by it. We weren't together so it's not like he just reached over and touched my belly whenever he wanted, not to mention it didn't really look any different at this point. But I had never been more comfortable with any other person ever in my life. Rusty and Ashleigh were close seconds, but obviously it was comfort in a different way with Cappie. I mean he was the first person who has ever seen me naked, ever really touched me.
He looks up to meet my eyes then as I'm lost in thought, thinking about how maybe this baby was inevitable between us, I just wish it could've waited a few years. A few years when hopefully me and Cappie had already found our way back to each other, where we didn't have to wonder what we were, where we were actually living together.
But… I was gonna just have to make this work now because it was happening. The heartbeat today confirmed that for me.
Cappie smiles, me having now placed his entire palm against my stomach, his large hand pretty much covering my entire lower belly.
He scoffs slightly, looking down at his hand on my belly and then looking back up at me, his blue eyes turning soft. He's just gazing at me as a smile takes over his face.
"I can't believe it's in here Case", he shakes his head in disbelief, referring to my stomach. "And that it has a heartbeat… that you and I made something that has such a strong heartbeat already… I mean you're the one doing the making part, I'm not really doing anything, but you know what I mean".
"Yeah I know", I let out a laugh, smiling at him, just focused on the way that his gaze on me right now is making me melt. "It's… it's as big as a strawberry now Cap, I looked it up online this morning".
"Cool", He grins, a blush taking over his face.
I lean up to kiss him now, starting to unbutton the few buttons on his blue plaid flannel to pull it off him.
He works on my jeans, quickly undoing the button and then the zipper. I was wearing my stretchiest jeans today since I had already felt like some of my other ones weren't fitting the greatest just in the past few days, which made this all the more real.
He takes me out of my worried thoughts about my favorite jeans not fitting anymore as I feel his lips kissing up my stomach, then my ribs, then my collarbone and back up to my lips.
I was just in my bra and underwear now, working on pulling his t shirt off over his head, then throwing it to the floor.
When he comes back down to me his hand falls against my cheek, holding my jaw in his hand as he kisses me, his tongue weaving in to work against mine.
I'm working on his belt now, even though I can't see it. I'm not doing a great job getting it off though as I struggle with kissing him at the same time.
He pulls away from me to let out a laugh and then he sits up in front of me.
"Here, try now", he says, looking at me with a smirk as he kneels, letting me undo his belt, me being able to fully see him now.
I just give him a playful look and then throw it to the side, letting it fall somewhere on the floor.
He looks at me like he couldn't possibly be more excited to keep taking articles of each other's clothing off as his leans in again to kiss down my neck. His hands both find their way around my back to undo the clasp on my bra, getting it undone within seconds.
He pulls it off down my arms, his gaze falling to my chest, eyes growing wide when he sees my boobs. To be fair, they were now bigger then they'd ever been. Literally the only perk of pregnancy so far was the fact that in the past two or three weeks it was basically like I'd gotten a boob job they were so swollen. That was the only visible change I've had to my body so far, that and possibly putting on a little weight in my stomach and hips, making some of my pants and skirts not fit the same.
"Woah…", He lets out and I can't help but blush.
"I know, they're really swollen lately", I laugh.
"Its like your boobs haven't told your stomach that you're pregnant yet", He jokes.
"Yeah I might have to go buy new bras soon because they just keep… getting bigger", I sigh.
"You say that like it's a bad thing", He grins at me, his usual Cappie grin. "I uh… I kind of noticed your boobs a few weeks ago but I didn't say anything because… I was trying to be respectful".
He smirks jokingly then.
"And now you're not?", I laugh, giving him a playfully seductive look.
"Well… nothing about what I have in mind to do to you tonight is going to be particularly respectful", he grins like a devil, making my stomach flip flop, my breath catch in my throat.
He moves back down to kiss down my neck and then, of course, his lips travel over my chest, taking his chance to try out the way my body has changed.
"Having fun there?", I can't help but giggle.
"Mmm hmm", he lets out against my skin, lips inches from my nipple, and then looks up at me for a moment to smirk before going back to what he's doing.
He takes his hand to slip into my underwear too, the feeling making me sigh out against him as I shut my eyes.
This felt entirely too good, so much so that I couldn't really remember exactly why I'd denied myself him for so long. His body against mine, his lips against my skin, hands working to make me feel good in any way he can.
I'm moaning against his pillow now, my head turned to the side so I'm laying against it, ready to use it to muffle the noises I was making. It was still in my mind that Cappie's brothers were downstairs, even if they had the TV on pretty loud, I didn't want them to hear us.
Cappie moves up now from what he's doing to smirk up at me.
"Cap…", I'm slightly out of breath now. "We really need to get your pants off".
I'm speaking entirely seriously but for some reason he laughs at this, at me. Then he just nods, undoing his jeans and getting them off so he's just in his boxers.
"Okay good", I smile and lean up to kiss him again, pulling him down to my lips.
When he pulls away he looks down my body to focus on my panties, pulling them down my legs and off my feet.
He comes back up to my face, inches away from my lips as he smiles down at me.
I can feel my heart beating hard in anticipation. Even though me and Cappie had done this so many times since I was 18 I still felt that same buzz around this, maybe even more so this time since it had been awhile. And maybe also because, even though we still didn't know exactly what we were to each other, I was pregnant with his baby this time, taking our four and a half year long situationship to an even more emotional level.
Whatever the reason, I feel like there's an electric current running through me right now. I was running on pure excitement to do this with him again and emotions from hearing our baby's heartbeat.
"Wait…", I stop him for a moment, putting a hand on his chest and I can see in his eyes that he probably thinks I've changed my mind, probably thinks I've decided to put a stop to this spontaneous hookup. "You really didn't sleep with anyone after we were together on homecoming right? Just because then we'd have to make sure to use a condom just because of the whole STD thing".
I explain to him, not wanting to get anything, especially not now with the baby to think about.
"No I didn't, promise", he looks into my eyes deeply, assuring me. "The last time I slept with someone else was at the beginning of August and then I came back here and got tested. I'm clean don't worry".
"Okay", I can't help but smile then, unable to hide how happy I am that he hasn't slept with anyone. "I am too… obviously. You're the only person I've ever slept with without a condom".
We both laugh slightly then.
"Yeah I know", he grins, tucking my hair behind my ear as he looks down at me, smirking happily about this.
I knew it secretly pleased him to no end that he had been my first. And that he was the only person I had ever slept with without a barrier, the only person I started letting finish inside me when I was on birth control last year. He's the only person I'd done a lot of things with. And for some reason I liked that fact too, that he was the only guy I'd shared myself with in that way.
"I'm really really happy to be here with you right now", He whispers softly against me, his fingers running through my hair.
"Me too Cap", I feel myself blush.
He smiles at this, nodding, and then I feel him pull down his boxers. He lifts my legs up, pulling them apart a bit as I feel him slowly find his way into me. When he does I immediately take a sharp breath in.
"Wow…", I let out in a breathy tone, unable to hide the feeling he was eliciting in me.
"Just make sure you let me know if anything doesn't feel right, okay? Things might be different now that you're pregnant", He speaks to me so seriously that it makes my heart drop into my stomach. He was rarely serious about anything, but my well-being was always something he didn't joke about. And now I guess that extended to our unborn baby inside me too.
"I'm fine", I let out, still feeling my heart beat fast, finding myself getting used to the feeling, completely feeling all of him now. "Don't worry Cappie, pregnant women everywhere have sex all the time".
I let out a slight giggle then, smirking up at him.
He nods, returning my look, licking his lips as he looks down at me.
"I know", he nods. "It's just… every other time we've hooked up over the past few years you haven't… been pregnant. Isn't your body like… kinda different now? You just about killed me the other day when I accidentally nudged your boob".
I roll my eyes playfully then as he smirks.
"That's because they were sensitive!", I argue with a laugh. "They're not hurting as bad now though. And the rest of my body isn't any different than it was when we slept together a few weeks ago".
"Okay but we don't know yet and-"
I lean up to cut him off with my lips on his, kissing him as I wrap my arm around his neck.
"Cap… the baby's fine, we just saw and heard it", I whisper up to him, assuring him as he nods up and down. "Just… make love to me okay?"
I whisper it softly, looking up to him as I make my eyes wide, like I'm pleading with him. My hands resting against the stubble on his jaw as I look up at him.
I knew once we successfully did it once with me pregnant it'd probably ease his worries.
He nods, calming down I think because he smiles sheepishly and then does exactly as I say.
He leans down to kiss me, his one hand against my cheek as I feel him start to move in and out of me now.
I'm clutching onto his back now, my one hand gripping his shoulder as I really start to feel it; the intense pleasure this brings me.
I'm moaning into his ear, still conscious of trying to be quiet. But I can tell this isn't going to be the type of sex we sometimes had. Not like junior year rush week when we'd tipsily made our way back here and completely lost control three times that night. I was so loud that his brothers all waited at the bottom of the stairs to watch me leave the next morning because they knew I was there, having been up most of the night with Cappie doing just about everything under the sun to me. To be fair, I hadn't been with him in a little over a year at that point and was pissed as ever at Evan which made every fibre of my being completely willing to do anything that night with Cappie. And I had done some things that night I'd never done before. One of those things being doing it three times in one mere night… one of those times in his closet.
But this time was very different than that, we weren't ravenously fucking. It was just two people who love each other sharing this together again, being close like this again.
I could only classify what was happening between us right now as love making. And partly I think we were doing this because I was acting on pure emotions from sharing all of the baby experiences with him. And part of it was the fact that he was being as gentle as ever with my body right now. The only other time that rivalled this level of slow gentle sex was the very first time I slept with him in freshman year, and that was because he knew I was a virgin. That me, 18 year old me doing this with him for the very first time, would've never thought I would be having his baby 4 years later.
"You feel so good Casey", He whispers against me, bringing my mind back to him. I meet his icy blue eyes now, holding his eye contact as I can't help but feel vulnerable now underneath him. He's holding onto my one leg, both of them wrapped around him as we move together in a rhythm.
"So do you Cap", I let out in a high pitched whine, feeling too much right now to even say words so instead I just pull him down to me to kiss me as I keep grinding my pelvis with his thrusts.
This felt like the closest you could possibly be to someone. Him moving inside me while we kiss, taking our time with the kisses, him exploring my mouth slowly. Every so often he'd move his hand down from my cheek to cup my breast. He was taking advantage of the fact that they've never been bigger in my life, which would make me laugh if I wasn't so in the moment with him right now, wasn't so entranced by the feelings I was having for him.
"I love you", He whispers against my lips in a sigh when we part from kissing.
I can't help but smile giddily, a warmth taking over my entire body from him, pressure building up in my pelvis reminding me that I don't have long before I'm going to be bubbling over the edge.
"I love you too", I nod, emotions flooding through me to the point where I honestly feel like I might cry.
Maybe I could blame the pregnancy hormones for this because I wasn't used to being quite this emotional. But I also wasn't used to seeing a baby that me and the first and only guy I'd ever loved made on a screen right in front of me. A guy who just months ago I never thought I would actually get to be with again, not when I thought I would be long gone in Washington at this point.
And it's at this moment, him moving in me while gazing at me so lovingly, that I thank whatever force of the universe there was that I got to stay here in Cyprus. Even if in DC I wouldn't be pregnant right now, wouldn't be worrying about my future in law school.
I'm taken out of my thoughts then when I feel Cappie start to move into me a little faster, a little less gently then he had been.
"You're still doing okay?", He confirms with me, speaking quietly.
"Yeah I'm fine", I let out a slight giggle, smiling at him. "That feels really good right there".
I nod, letting him know to keep going at the same pace and angle.
"Yeah?", He smirks.
"Mmm hmm", I nod up and down quickly, sort of frantically, my eyes closing shut in pleasure now as I grip onto him tighter. "Ugh oh my god!"
I let out a cross between a whimper and a squeal, it coming out of me involuntarily as I feel him hitting against the exact spot inside me that was begging to be stimulated.
I keep moaning against him as I grip onto his shoulder, trying to hold on, but it proves to be too hard now that he's picked up his movements. And now that he's of course kissing against my neck right where he knew I liked it.
"Yes! Oh my god!", I let out loudly then, my whole body starting to shake underneath him as I go into spasms in and out down there, my body reacting to what he was doing to me.
I'm pretty in and out of it now, unable to say anything or control my writhing around, my eyes closed as I come hard. I'm still holding onto him tightly, feeling the need to grip onto something while I lose control.
I open my eyes to see him staring down at me in delight, smirking at me. I knew he loved this, seeing my whole body react to him like this, feeling the evidence that he was able to drive me this crazy. Because I knew he could feel me contracting hard around him as he kept moving into me.
"Oh my god that felt so good Cap", I let out in a deep sigh as he starts to slow down, letting me come down to earth from my release. I let the air out from my lungs as I take in more breaths, having forgotten to breathe normally.
"Good", He just smirks at me, getting that alive glint in his eyes that he gets, truly looking like he couldn't be happier right now. He takes his hand to fix my hair, which was laying on my face messily, me not even having noticed because I was in such a haze right now.
I start to move my hips up and down more, trying to keep him moving into me fast and hard like he had been just moments ago.
He looks down at me confused for a moment.
"I want you to come too", I say breathily, still trying to get my breathing back to normal, to get my heartbeat steady again.
"Don't worry, that won't be hard, I've just been holding back this whole time so you could", He laughs and I can't help but giggle breathily, knowing him well enough to know that that's what he does, waits for me to go first. "Where do you want me to do it?"
He whispers down to me raspily, the tone of his voice and the serious expression he had on his face was making my stomach flip flop. It was never lost on me just how hot Cappie could get me, ever since the first night I met him I knew I was in trouble. I always sort of hated the fact that he had always had that power over me. But today I didn't hate it at all, no, today I loved that he was mine and that I was his. And that now there was this baby that was ours together, a product of being unable for the life of me to stay away from him these past few months.
He looks down at me waiting for my response. I always liked that he asked me every time, he only forgot sometimes if he was really drunk.
"Inside me", I let out strongly, even though I'm still a little out of breath, looking up into his eyes as I feel my cheeks get hot. I know I'm probably red right now, just saying it was making me feel turned on. A little exposed too since I was much more shy about sex than he was and I know he knows that, mostly because I had much less experience than him. But right now I wasn't being shy, I wanted to be as close and as intimate with him as possible today.
"Yeah?", A grin takes over his entire face then as he confirms this with me. Besides the fact that I wanted to feel it too right now, I also knew it was one of his favorite things, being able to. That was one of the reasons I went back on birth control after Thanksgiving last year. I hadn't been on it since freshman and sophomore year but I wanted to be able to ditch the condoms with him when we got back together. I knew that we were serious and that he would never cheat on me so it just felt natural. Then I wasn't prepared for how much I actually liked it, how insanely intimate of a thing it actually was for us.
I can hear his breathing staggering now, can feel him start to pulse inside me and I knew he was ready to go at any second.
"Yeah", I nod up and down quickly, letting out a slight laugh, grinning. I'm feeling elated and giddy and naughty and slightly embarrassed, a whole onslaught of emotions. But that was pretty much the deal with him, he always made me feel way too much all at once. "Its not like you can get me any more pregnant".
He laughs then, even in the midst of the way he's about lose control.
"True", he nods devilishly.
I feel him move quicker and quicker, him somehow feeling even bigger inside me now, getting even deeper.
"Oh god", I whimper out, holding onto the back of his neck, my hand in the tufts of hair at the back of his head. "Cappie!"
Somehow I find myself climaxing again suddenly, not having expected to, but whatever he was doing was making me unable to hold on.
I feel him release inside me as I tighten around him, him groaning against my collarbone as he does so. We stare into each others eyes as we realize we've found ourselves losing control at the exact same moment. I hadn't expected to go for a second time but feeling him about to burst deep inside me sent me over the edge mentally and physically.
"Are you…?", He lets out breathlessly, looking down at me in surprise.
"Yeah", I croak out as I nod with a hazy smile, still feeling unable to speak much. I'm a little too distracted by the way my walls are clasping around him in rhythmic motions as I ride out my second release tonight.
"Fuck I love when you do that Case", He let's out in a grunt and then laughs slightly when I look up at him. "It drives me crazy."
All I can do is just blush and smile, excited that I can make him feel that way. I knew what he liked just like he knew what I liked. We'd be stupid not to after all this time. I knew his biggest turn on was feeling me come for him. Honestly he would be content to just get me off all night, that's what happened junior year rush night in this very bed, it was like he had made it his own personal mission that night. Sometimes he didn't even care about his own release.
Cappie's pretty much collapsed against me now, worn out as he tries to collect himself, trying to breathe right again. He's still lazily kissing against my neck though, sucking a bit too. I'm still just laying in a haze of pleasure, feeling pretty exhausted, my whole body feeling like jelly. He was still inside me which felt good, felt like I really didn't want this moment to end, like I could just lay like this with him for the rest of the night.
He moves up from my neck then to look down at me, our eyes meeting as I feel butterflies in my stomach afoot with the way he's smiling at me. He leans in to kiss me gently, the two of us kissing a lot slower than we had when we'd come into the house tonight. We part with a smack of our lips, both of us still breathing heavily.
He moves back from my face a bit to tuck my blonde hair behind my ear as it was framing my face messily after moving against his pillow.
"I'm… I'm so tired now Cap", I let out with a sigh.
He looks down at me with a laugh, this obviously amusing to him.
My eyes feel heavy as I lay beneath him, feeling exhausted now. I wasn't sure if it was the way that ever since I got pregnant I feel more tired than ever by 6pm, or if it was because of what my body had just experienced. Cappie, however, doesn't really look tired at all, he's just staring at me as he bites his lower lip, trying to conceal the way my tiredness is entertaining to him.
"You're so cute", He grins at me and I can't help but cover my face with my hands then as I laugh at his reaction to me.
"You're still feeling okay?", He confirms with me, his expression turning serious now, sincere.
"Yeah, totally fine, I feel normal", I nod, finding this side of Cappie actually pretty sweet.
"Okay good", He grins. "Well uh…"
He looks down our bodies then, taking a bit too long to gaze at my boobs as my chest rises and falls with my breathing, then I feel him prop himself up.
"I better go get you a towel to clean up", He scoffs, smiling as he moves off of me and I feel him pull out of me slowly, which felt good down there where I was still really sensitive.
"Thanks", I look up at him shyly.
He pulls his boxers back on and gets up, leaving me on his bed as I'm afraid to move much until he comes back with a towel.
He returns from his washroom, coming back over to me and I sit up slightly, putting my hand out to take the hand towel from him.
"Don't worry, I'll take care of it", He waves it off with his hand, smirking at me in that usual way he does. "You just lay back, I know you're tired".
"Okay", I can't help but giggle a bit, doing what he says, but not before I lift my hips up as he gets the towel underneath me.
"Is it bad that watching this is insanely hot to me?", He says with a laugh, referring to the way he's watching it leak out of me. I look down at him between my legs, shaking my head at him, but I'm smiling all the same.
"It… it is to me too Cap", I admit sheepishly. "Thinking about it is partly what made me have that surprise second… you know".
I feel my cheeks go hot now at the way he looks at me.
"Oh really?", He raises his eyebrow, licking his lips, pleased with this. "Duly noted".
I giggle then and Cappie moves from between my legs now to come lay beside me, him pulling his covers over us which I'm thankful for because it's kind of cold and I'm laying here completely exposed, still in a tired afterglow.
"We can definitely do that again if it's what's getting you off", He grins. "Especially… since for the first time since we started hooking up we don't have to worry about you getting pregnant. So… we can do that as many times as we want".
He's smirking happily at me now, laying beside me.
I'm sure I'm red from blushing, from the physical exertion of what we just just. But he's also glowing, at least in my eyes. Glowing and pink cheeked, lips pink too from kissing me so much.
"That is… if there uh… is going to be another time", Cappie says awkwardly.
"Let's… let's just enjoy this right now and we'll… talk about that later Cap", I stammer out.
"Okay", He looks semi pleased with this as he nods.
"I… I didn't even expect this time to happen", I sigh out then, staring at the ceiling and then over to him. "But then… when we heard the heartbeat…"
I trail off as I let the air out of my lungs in a huff, unsure if I should even tell him that just hearing our baby's heartbeat made me feel like I had to be close to him again that very second.
He laughs then, and I turn my head to see him looking amused about something.
"What?", I bug him.
"Oh nothing, it's just… I thought it was gonna be a lot harder to get you to have sex with me again Case", He smirks his usual smirk. "But I didn't even really have to do anything, the baby did it for me".
I roll my eyes at him then playfully.
"Well I'm not a robot", I narrow my eyes slightly and then laugh. "I have feelings for you still Cap… obviously. And hearing our baby today… even just saying the words 'our baby'… makes me feel especially close to you".
"Me too Case", He nods, looking more serious now as he agrees with me. "It uh… it made me pretty emotional hearing it's heartbeat too, way more than I thought it would".
"I know…", I give him a knowing look then, smirking sheepishly. "I saw that your eyes were wet Cap".
I'm fully trying to tease him now, grinning at him playfully.
"Hey! They were not! It was just… super dusty in there. And I'm allergic", He refutes.
I giggle then, loving when Cappie jokes around with me like this.
"Yeah sure Cap", I roll my eyes playfully.
"Fine okay… so it made me feel… emotional", He rolls his own eyes back now. "You got me. It's pretty hard not to feel something when you see it on the screen like that… realizing it's developed since the last appointment… then to hear evidence that it has an actual heartbeat…"
"I know", I nod, more serious now. "I'm… I'm starting to actually be a little bit happy about it now Cappie, even if that's stupid".
"I know, me too. I never thought I'd feel this way because the thought of having a baby terrifies me but… I was so happy when I heard that noise Case… the whooshing sound of its heartbeat filling the room...", He looks at me genuinely then and I feel his hand find it's place to gently move across my belly, caressing up and down it.
He looks at me a little nervously now, partly because he was just really honest and vulnerable with me I think. And also probably because him touching me like this, where our baby was, was still new to us.
"Me too Cap", I nod, feeling my heart swell in my body at his touch. "And I know it's not the right time but… it's with the right person".
"The right person… being me?", He grins then, raising his eyebrow as he jokes with me.
"Yes you, dummy", I roll my eyes with a laugh.
As soon as I look back to meet his eyes I see that his whole face has broken out into a smile and next thing I know his lips meet mine.
When we part I move to lay my head against his chest, lost in thought about being pregnant, about the fact that pretty soon I would really be showing. I already had to wear my stretchiest jeans and when I went to zip up a dress to wear to one of my classes yesterday I couldn't even get it zipped past my waist.
"What're you thinking about? You look like you're spacing out", Cappie's voice brings me out of my thoughts as he runs his one hand up and down my arm comfortingly.
"Just…", I sigh then. "Just the fact that I have to wear the biggest jeans I own now Cappie. Today I had to wear these ones that are typically reserved for my period week when I'm super bloated and just want chocolate… or to wear for Thanksgiving dinner".
I gesture over to my pants that are now at the side of his bed.
He can't help but laugh now, amused with me.
"It's not funny Cappie!", I whine. "This is just the start of it… I'm only gonna keep growing and being unable to wear any of my favorite clothes! It sucks!"
I sigh in annoyance.
"I mean… obviously it's my own fault since I had drunk unprotected sex with you…", I roll my eyes. "But I'm still upset about it… I'm not a sorority sister anymore but I still have a really hard time thinking about my body changing and having absolutely no control over it".
"Yeah uh… I was actually going to say…", he starts, looking a little nervous. "At your appointment today when I was watching you undress… I think maybe you're starting to show a tiny bit now".
"What?! You're saying I look fat?", I look at him worriedly as I move away from him slightly.
"What?", He shakes his head, backtracking in response to my reaction. "No, not at all".
He laughs at me then, even though my expression is just pure worry, not having actually thought that anyone could tell I was pregnant yet. Even though… most people unfortunately would likely know soon since the Greek system was way too gossipy.
"Seriously Case", He tucks my hair behind my ear now, looking at me sweetly. "You're not fat at all, it's just… I know your body so well that I feel like I can just tell it's a bit different. And remember when you told me the other day about what you read online? That because you're small to begin with, and pretty short, that you might start showing earlier than other women?"
He smiles down at me now which sort of makes it impossible to be mad about this, about the fact that I wasn't going to be under 115 pounds like I've been my entire teenage and young adult life.
"Aw you actually remember what I tell you Cap?", I joke, speaking sarcastically.
"Well... between glimpses at your new boobs, I do occasionally catch some things you say", Cappie jokes back with a sigh and I just nudge his arm with a giggle in response.
"Yeah I guess you're right about my body being different… when they weighed me today I already put on two pounds", I sigh.
"That's not a bad thing", Cappie assures me, running his hand up my arm as he sees I'm struggling with this. "You have to put on weight Case, you're pregnant. It's just healthy for you and the baby".
He says this like it's obvious, making me scoff a little bit.
"Okay", I nod meekly. "You're right Cap".
"And I don't care… if that's what you're worried about. Hell, I'll still be trying to hookup with you like a day from your due date if you're down", He grins his usual mischief filled smirk. "I've already thought about it and there are tons of fun ways we can work around your belly when you get one".
"Cap!", I laugh as I shake my head at him, swatting his arm, finding it funny that he'd already thought about it.
"What?", He laughs and I can tell he's enjoying getting to tease me. "They say that it helps get the baby out when labour won't start! It would just be practical!"
He grins then but I'm just caught up on one thing.
"Wait… how do you know that?", I look at him confusedly.
He looks awkward now.
"Oh um… I kind of took out a pregnancy book from the school library", He admits.
"Aw Cap, you finally found the campus library?", I tease him.
"Hey! I've been there before", he laughs. "With you, I might add. That time last year when I accidentally grazed your boob, remember?"
"Yeah of course I remember", I giggle.
"Oh how we've grown", He jokingly sighs. "Back then I couldn't even graze your boob, and now here they are growing like crazy because I knocked you up".
He looks down at me with a smirk and I just shake my head at him with a laugh.
"Yeah I guess you're right", I nod, the way we'd developed to this in just a single year not lost on me either. This time last year we were in a weird limbo where I had confessed to Cappie that I wanted to be with him and he'd turned me down because he was scared to risk it.
"Anyway though… I've been reading a bit so I can understand all the pregnancy stuff better", he explains.
"Aw", I pucker my lip. "Cap…"
"And sometimes I have to take a moment to try not to barf at some of the unnecessarily graphic descriptions … but mostly it's pretty educational", He grins then, joking around.
"Thanks Cap", I laugh. "Seriously, for everything".
"What do you mean?", He looks kind of confused now, looking down at me against him. "You don't have to thank me Case".
"Yeah I know, I just… you've really been there for me through this, from right when I found out to every single time I've needed you", I explain. "I honestly can't even imagine how I would've been able to do this without you and I'm only in my first trimester".
"Well you're never going to have to do it without me, so no need to imagine that", He looks at me seriously then and I can't help but smile, feeling that feeling in my stomach that he so often gave me. Like I was on a rollercoaster, on a high.
I lean in to kiss him then, resting on top of him slightly, my chest against his as we makeout.
"Mmm wait a sec", I let out against him, pulling away from his lips.
"What?", he laughs.
"I just moved and felt stuff come out so I have to get up and… deal with this…", I laugh, gesturing down to my pelvic area. "I need to go pee and clean up… or else you're gonna have to change your sheets".
"Sorry, my fault", He just grins mischievously, giving me a quick kiss on my lips and then I move off of him.
I get up now, waddling to the washroom, grabbing the grey t shirt he'd been wearing today off the floor and pulling it on over my head, it going down to just about my mid thigh.
I'm holding my legs together trying to get to the washroom that's luckily just off his room, as president he was lucky enough to have his own.
I turn around to look at him quickly only to see him sitting up in his bed, shirtless, hair a bit of a mess as he fully enjoys watching every second of watching me.
"I'm gonna go make us some dinner Case, it's almost 8 o'clock", He gives me a smile.
"You're gonna make dinner?", I question him. Cappie cooked sometimes but to be honest, most of the time at the KT house it was pizza, hot dogs or... nondescript leftovers in their questionable fridge.
"Yeah I'm gonna barbecue", he shrugs like it's no big deal.
If they didn't choose any of those earlier food options, Cappie, and most of the KTs for that matter, were known for their main source of food preparation being their barbecue. I'm pretty sure Cappie could barbecue literally anything at this point.
"Okay cool", I give him a sheepish grin and then find my way into the bathroom, wiping up with toilet paper and sitting down to pee.
"Come down whenever you want or I'll bring something up to you if you don't feel like being down with all the guys or if you're too tired", He talks to me through the door. "I'll try to make sure the guys don't tease us too much about this though".
"Ugh you're right", I sigh, realizing how awkward it's going to be going down there. "You don't think they know what we just did right?"
"Well…", I hear Cappie trail off, pausing for a moment. "Considering the way we walked in…"
"Ugh! This is so embarrassing!", I groan. "I'm just gonna maintain that we were up here… talking".
"Okay I'll stick to that very unlikely story too", I hear Cappie laugh. "See you in a bit Case!"
"Okay!", I nod, flushing the toilet and moving to look in the mirror, seeing myself smiling in the reflection.
I looked a little flustered, a little ruffled up. My hair was kind of a mess and the pinky nude lipstick I had on earlier has completely worn off. But I had a natural blush to my cheeks and the smile on my lips… well it was one I hadn't seen on me in a long while. And it was because of him... and because of this baby in me.