Ichijiku (Tigress)

Mirio, are you awake? I text my boyfriend despite knowing he's asleep. Between the two of us, he goes to bed the earliest.

Still, for an hour and a half, I wait for a reply. When it's obvious that I won't be receiving a response, I stare at the ceiling as my brain tunes back into reality. The yelling down the hall amplifies and my heart races as I wait with baited breath for Mom to walk through the door. Please don't yell at me. I don't know what I did and if that's why you and Dad fight but please stop screaming. When footsteps make their way down the hall, I place my phone down and hug my pillow with my eyes closed. Though internally I panic, I force myself to take deep and even breaths.

I hear the door squeak open and the heavy, angry breaths of my mother. Only the thumping in my chest is audible, and I dare not move until I hear the familiar click of my door. Even then, I pause for another two minutes until I'm sure she doesn't stand in wait to catch me being disobedient.

When I open my eyes and she's not there, I slip out of bed and crawl over to my window. I pull the blinds and look next door into Tamaki's room. His dark blue eyes meet mine as he lays in his bed. I scrounge around behind my desk to find my notebook. I flip through a few of the pages until I land on the one I want, holding up the page to the glass: Can I come over?

I watch him rifle through his own notebook before holding up his response.

Yes.

I tuck my notebook away and look at my door for a minute or two. She might come back. My ears tune in to every sound as I grab my jacket and stuff a deck of cards in the pocket. There's no footsteps down the hall and the muffled sound of the TV can be heard down the hall, a signal my dad's in bed and my mom's still in the living room. So, I throw on my jacket and crack open my window, slow and steady.

After sneaking out and shutting it behind me, I glide across the lawn over to Tamaki's house and through the opening he's left me. He takes my hand and helps me into the much warmer house. I click the window lock as I get comfy on his bed.

"Hi." I whisper.

"Hi."

Several minutes pass and neither of us say a word. My fingers pet the dark plum comforter underneath me, focusing my attention on the soft texture while the sound of yelling echoes in my mind. Tears trek down my cheeks while I try and think of what to say, not that it's anything Tamaki doesn't know. We've known each other since middle school. It's unlikely that there's anything I can tell him or Mirio that neither of them would know. T̶h̶e̶y̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶l̶y̶ ̶s̶i̶c̶k̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶t̶i̶r̶e̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶e̶l̶l̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶m̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶s̶t̶u̶p̶i̶d̶ ̶s̶h̶i̶t̶ ̶a̶l̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶t̶i̶m̶e̶.

"Are you…okay?" My best friend's gentle voice breaks the silence.

"It's nothing new, I'm fine." I sniffle, wiping my face and shoving my emotions away, all the way down to soles of my feet. "I just didn't want to be alone."

"Are you staying for the evening?" He asks. "Mother knows your situation; you know she doesn't mind if you stay for the night."

"I know. I don't know if I'm staying, yet. Mom has started checking my room in the middle of the night." I explain, raking my fingers through my hair as I look up at him with red eyes and swollen cheeks. "The fights have been getting more frequent and the drinking is worse."

"Does Mirio know?" He asks.

"I texted him, but you know he goes to bed early. He's already asleep, or I wouldn't have bothered you. I'm sorry, Maki-kun." I sigh and place my face in my hands. "I just don't like being there at night; I feel so alone and afraid. But then I feel guilty because shouldn't I want to be with my family? I sneak out just like she accuses me. I don't sleep around and I don't get into drugs like she accuses, but I'm still sneaking out. If I didn't do that, would it make her and Dad fight less?"

"I-I wasn't trying to imply…that you were bothering me. I only…wanted to make sure Mirio was aware…of the situation." Tamaki trembles a bit as he explains and starts wringing his hands, eyeing his wall. "H-He's…a lot better with encouragement. B-But…I'm sure that the situation between your parents is not your fault."

"Then why does it feel like it?" I choke out, shoving my palms into my eyes so I won't cry anymore. It feels like all I've done for the majority of my teenage life is cry. ̶W̶e̶a̶k̶.̶ ̶P̶a̶t̶h̶e̶t̶i̶c̶. "Why does it feel like everything I do is the reason they won't stop fighting? Mom won't stop drinking. Dad's barely home trying to provide for us. I don't know what to do to make it stop."

When the warmth of Tamaki's arm wraps around me, sheltering me in safety, I break. The dam bursts and I cling to him as shaky sobs rattle through his room. Thoughts surface from the first time he and I went to middle school, his body shaking as he tried to speak up at the front of the classroom. I remember being so quiet and afraid that I hadn't been able to reassure him, my childhood best friend. Seeing Mirio do it so easily later that afternoon had humbled me, and it wasn't until lunch time when the two boys were sitting alone that I'd decided to be brave and join Tamaki and the blonde-haired stranger.

Since I could remember, Tamaki had always been my best friend, my ride or die. Having someone new that didn't automatically write me off as a stuck up prick was a breath of fresh air. Mom had flagrantly accused me of being a slut the moment I'd come home raving about Mirio.

This comforter has caught more of my tears than my own. I think with an ache in my chest. Gentle, familiar hands rub up and down my shoulders as I wonder where I went wrong. Was it when I first became friends with Tamaki? With Mirio? When I got my first F on an assignment? The first time I called my mom out for cheating on Dad?

"What's wrong with me?" I whimper.

"What do you mean?"

"They wouldn't fight if I was gone." I cough. "If I went away their lives would be better."

"That's not true!" Tamaki gasps and pulls back so he can look at me. "Life is so much brighter with you. You're like Mirio. Everything around you…everyone you interact with…your very presence makes everyone happier."

"It doesn't feel like it." I say. "I feel like I bring gloom and despair wherever I go."

"That seems more like something I would say, don't you think?" Tamaki teases, nudging me a bit and giving me a shaky smile. "I-I…understand better than anyone…about feeling less than adequate."

"You're so amazing, though! And you're my bestie, so you know I'm honest when I say you're the best. You've trained and worked so hard to be where you're at. You've made great strides. And I…" I go back to playing with his comforter as he continues to let me lean into his side. "All I've done is–"

"You've trained hard too." Tamaki never interrupts, so I make sure to heed what he says. "You were so scared to choose the hero track. We both were. But you were the one who encouraged me from the beginning to take a step into the hero world when I didn't believe I could. You and Mirio pushed me forward toward that bright future. It never would have started so early if it wasn't for you."

Listening to him helps quiet my mind and focus on the more positive side of life, even as the bad voices still lurk on the outskirts of my mind. I pull back and sit up, yawning and realizing just how tired I am as my body calms down.

"...is the offer to stay still available?"

"You know my mother would never turn you down. I'll pull out the extra futon."

. . . . .

The guest futon feels comfortable and safe. No yelling invades my dreams to feed my nightmares. My alarm goes off about thirty minutes before I need to wake up, and when I blink my eyes open I find Takara nestled against my chest.

I grunt and thread my fingers through her hair.

"Taka-chan?" I coo, my worries instantly fading at the sight of the little girl. It takes her a moment to fully wake up, but then her pretty blue eyes blink up at me. "What are you doing here?"

"Bad jeem." She babbles, tucking her head back into me and going to sleep again.

"Aww," I purr, petting her hair for a few more minutes until anxiety clutches at my throat. If Mom wakes up and sees I'm gone… "Come on, Rara. I have to go back to my house."

"No go!" She whines, holding tighter. "Iku stay?"

"I can't stay, honey." I frown. "I have to go to school in a little bit with your brother. And right now I have to go home so my mom doesn't get mad at me."

"No!"

Her determination to keep me here endears me to her all the more, but I give a heavy yawn with my quirk and she's out for the count. I shift carefully and leave her bundled up in blankets on the futon. I notice Tamaki still sleeps on, so I grab his notebook and write a note for him.

Went home. Will walk with you to school as usual, though.

I get ready for school and walk with Tamaki to Mirio's with minimal criticism from my mother before I go. To be fair, she's too hungover to do much aside from nurse her headache with an icepack.

The second Mirio walks up to me and Tamaki, I tackle him in a hug. I squeeze him with all my limbs and exhale all of my sad. He has a way of soaking up all of my hurts, his affection a healing balm to cure my wounds.

"Good morning, Sunbeam." He breathes in my ear. "From the looks of your texts, it seems like you had a rough night…and not in the good way." He winks at me, before pecking my lips. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's just the same old, same old. My mom's just been drinking more and it's made it hard to sleep at night. I stayed at Maki-kun's last night." I explain, letting him set me down and taking his hand as we head to UA.

"That's been happening more frequently. Are you sure there's nothing we can do?" Mirio tilts his head, never losing his optimistic expression.

"No. It's our last year at UA. There's not really a point. Besides…I don't want to be the reason for her getting in trouble when I'm already the reason she and Dad fight." I hold his hand tighter, betraying my fear.

"That's not your fault, Ichan." He leans over to smother my cheek in kisses until I'm giggling. Only then does he smile again. "My mom once said that sometimes parents with a lot of problems try to pick the one constant in their life to become the scapegoat of all their issues and insecurities. You're the one thing they can control, so they use it to their advantage."

"N-Not to mention…they think…you're oblivious to all the problems…they've created." Tamaki adds on.

"It's true. They severely underestimate that beautiful brain of yours." Mirio slinks his arm around my waist.

He makes my back tingle as part of his arm phases through me playfully so he can comfortably rest his hand there.

"Mi-kun!" I shriek out a laugh, squirming as the strange feeling sends tremors down my spine. "I've told you that tickles!"

"Have you told me that?" He smirks. "I don't recall you saying anything of the sort."

"You totally do! I can see it on your face!"

"That's subjective evidence."

"Mirio-AH!" He starts tickling me in the sides with his fingers this time and I bolt down the sidewalk as the school building comes in sight.

"Oh? So we're doing endurance training now, are we? Come on, Suneater! We can't lose!"

I hear him getting closer behind me and use his closeness as motivation to add one last burst of speed to make it to the staircase. My foot meets the first step when Mirio's arm swoops around my waist twirling me around and clutching me against his chest.

"Gotcha! There's no way you beat Lemillion!" He laughs victoriously as I pant and catch my breath.

For a moment, he just holds me like that and I let him, forcing oxygen in my lungs. His smile flattens into a neutral expression as he presses his ear more intently to my chest. I flush and look around awkwardly until he speaks.

"Your heart is beating so fast right now." Mirio hums.

"Well, yeah, I kinda just ran the last two blocks to get here." I snort, heart still pounding in my ears. "I'll bet your heart is beating pretty fast too."

"I like it." Mirio states, finally setting me on my feet and cupping my face in his hands. "The more I'm with you, the more things I find to love!"

I crinkle my nose and find something else to focus on so I don't automatically turn down the compliment. I reach up and smooth down Mirio's uniform collar as an excuse to touch him.

"I could say the same about you, Slippery Boi."

He drops his hands to my waist since we still have time to wait outside and presses his forehead to mine. Poor Tamaki plants his forehead against the outer wall of the school when he recognizes the intimate look on Mirio's face. He typically tries to give us our space as a couple when we need our affectionate moments.

"I'm glad you have Tamaki next door to help you when I'm not able to." Mirio whispers, gazing at me with so much love. "I trust him with my life. It makes me feel better to know that he's close by in case there's an emergency."

"Mi-kun, it's not like that. My family might yell a lot, but they'd never…" I open my mouth to finish that sentence, but find I can't. Memories of intentional bruises and cuts from my father remain burned in my memory.

"They would." He says through pursed lips.

"They do the best they can." I defend.

"They can still do better."

"I know." I look away from him.

" You deserve better."

Again, I can't accept something positive about myself, at least not verbally. I've been working on it, but verbal agreement still remains a struggle.

"Takara came to me for nightmare comfort last night." I change the subject.

"Ichi-chan…"

"What do you want me to say, Mirio?" I huff, tears glistening in my eyes. "I know you think I deserve better and I know Tamaki agrees. I know you both would rather I just make an appointment with Hound Dog or bring it to a staff member's attention, but I can't. I don't want…"

"You're scared for what'll happen when you get taken away?"

There it is. I move until my face plants against him. Mirio doesn't allow it. He knows exactly what I need. He tilts my chin up and claims my lips fiercely, tugging my lip. He pulls back and then kisses me again, harder until my mind is blank. As we both stand there breathless, he rubs his thumbs over my cheeks.

"You don't ever have to be afraid while I'm here." He promises. "You don't have to tell Hound Dog about everything, but I think you'd feel better if you at least brought up how stressed you've been. Midterms are coming up and you've worked too hard to let your parents mess that up for you. And I don't care if you believe this, but I'm going to say it again." He puts his forehead to mine again so I have to look into his sparkling eyes. "You deserve better."

I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and then look up at him again. It could be time for a change, Little One. He speaks the truth. You deserve a better life than constant fear.

"Have I ever told you just how stubborn you are?" I pout.

"If you have, my ears were phased and I must have missed it." He chuckles, kissing my forehead. "But I've definitely been told that my whole life a time or two."

I roll my eyes but grin. "Don't ever change, Mi-kun."

"Sounds like a recipe for dirty clothes."

That earns him a jab in the ribs just as the bell rings to start the day.