Chapter 10

Rick didn't come by the tower the next day or the day after that. He continued to wave to Andrea each morning as he headed out to the farm and they still saw each other at meals, where he was as friendly to her as he was to anyone else in the group. She wouldn't say he was avoiding her exactly, but he was keeping a respectful distance, giving her the space she'd asked for to work out her feelings.

She knew she should be relieved that he wasn't going to pursue her unless she wanted him to, but each time he walked away without trying to find some excuse to make physical contact with her or talk to her alone, she felt her resolve to avoid crossing that line faltering. She didn't want to want him, to need him. She wished she could just turn off the longing she felt whenever they were together. But it was so nice to be close to someone after months of pain and loneliness. To touch and be touched, kiss and be kissed. Like finally catching a glimpse of the sun after weeks of rain.

She worried that he was just another life raft, something to cling to so the darkness of the world they lived in now didn't pull her under, but was that really such a bad thing? Especially if she could be that for him too?

He'd made it clear that she would have to come to him once she knew what she wanted, so she was surprised when, on the third day, after a quick exchange with Daryl, he detoured towards the tower instead of continuing on to the farm. Something was happening down in the yard. In addition to Rick and Daryl, she could see Glenn and Maggie and Tyreese all assembling in their riot gear with melee weapons, preparing for battle.

She had the hatch open for Rick before his foot was even on the ladder.

"Hey," she greeted him as he stepped off the top, folding her arms to solve the problem of what to do with them. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"I heard what you said the other night, and I'm not going to pressure you," he prefaced whatever he was there to say. "I'm strictly here on official business." He pointed out the platform door to the fenceline, where walkers had started to pile up two and three layers deep overnight. "There're too many to take out through the fence now. We need to go out and clear the perimeter before they bank up too much more and tip the whole thing over."

"Can't we just shoot them from the towers?" she asked him. That seemed like it would be a lot safer.

"We need to save ammo," he explained. He didn't say why, but she knew: in case they had to go to war to protect this place again. "We also can't risk drawing more here with the noise."

"Okay," she agreed. That was definitely something she could help him with. She sprang into action, shouldering her rifle and checking her gun belt for her knife.

"You're not coming out with us," he told her, stilling her hand as she started to draw it out.

"Yes, I am," she insisted, fixing him with a defiant look. "You need me." Why else had he even come up there?

"What I need is for you to stay up here and cover us," he explained before she could argue any more. "But only if they get too close."

"Is this about us?" she challenged him, her hand on her hip. "You're sidelining me because you don't want to put me in danger?" His chivalry would be sweet if it wasn't also so infuriating. He knew how much she hated being treated like a delicate flower who had to be sheltered from anything that could hurt her and yet he couldn't help himself.

"Would I feel better knowing you're out of harm's way? Yes, I admit that," he agreed, and she was glad he didn't try to deny it. She would have called bullshit if he had. "But this also happens to be where you can do the most good. I need you to use your sniping skills to keep the rest of us safe."

He was laying it on thick so she would give in and do what he wanted. She didn't like it but she agreed. "Fine," she told him. "But you have to do something for me. Be safe out there, okay? Don't do anything stupid."

He was a smart guy, sensible and level-headed most of the time, but he also had a compulsive need to be a hero and that scared her. Whatever else they were to each other, he had become her rock. She didn't know if she could cope with anything happening to him now.

She gave up on trying to remain aloof, catching him in an impulsive hug. "And wear one of the riot suits. Please."

He nodded, squeezing her back, lingering longer than was completely platonic before releasing her. Part of her wished he would kiss her again before he left, but she knew he couldn't when she'd set a hard boundary between them by telling him she wasn't ready to start anything. She could kiss him, but if she did, she would be opening a door she still wasn't sure she wanted to go through. Now or ever.

"I'll see you soon," he told her, climbing back down to rejoin the others.

They could really have used Michonne's sword for this, she thought with a sigh, watching him take the suit Glenn offered and pull it on over his clothes, but she was gone again, off on another solo quest.

Rick and the others let themselves out the gate, the five of them forming a circle while they picked off the walkers closest to the fence and worked their way outwards.

Andrea felt helpless as she watched from the platform. She wanted to be down there in the fray with them, but all she could do was pivot her rifle between them, firing off the occasional shot when needed.

She was busy helping Glenn out of a tight spot when Rick got swarmed against the fence. She could tell he was struggling, but with so many walkers around him, it was hard to get a clear shot. He'd thrown off his helmet so he could see better, leaving his head and neck exposed: if she fired too soon, she risked hitting him, but if she waited too long, he was doomed anyway.

She took the first walker out with a headshot as it was about to chomp into the side of his throat while he was distracted fighting off the others. It was too close for comfort. Her stomach lurched and she wanted to throw up at the thought. But he wasn't out of danger yet. She fired off a few more shots in quick succession, freeing him up so he could take care of the rest with his machete.

By the time she had a clear view of him again, he was so splattered in blood from both of their kills that it was impossible to tell if he'd been injured. As soon as it was safe to leave her post, Andrea threw the strap of her rifle over her shoulder and scrambled down the ladder, sprinting up the drive to meet them.

"Oh my God, Rick. Are you okay?" she asked, yanking open the outer gate and making a beeline for him. "They didn't get you, did they?"

She stopped when she reached him, unsure of what she was planning to do now that she was in front of him. Conscious of the others watching them, she suppressed the urge to throw herself into his arms and check him for bites.

"Fine," he told her with a cocky grin, but she could see he was shaken up. "Thanks for the save."

She forced a weak smile in return. "Any time."

"We're all also fine," Glenn teased her, breaking the tension by reminding them of their presence, "Thanks for asking," and they both looked away from each other awkwardly.

They dragged the bodies into a pile away from the fence to burn. Daryl fished his Zippo out of his vest and lit the funeral pyre, and then they all headed back inside the compound, trickling off to the cellblock to change and get cleaned up.

Andrea fell into step beside Rick at the back of the group. "You really didn't get bitten?" she checked again, not putting it past him to hide something like that to avoid freaking everyone out until it was absolutely necessary.

He stopped, pulling off his riot vest and tossing it on the ground. Then he unbuttoned his shirt, lifting it away from his neck and shoulders to show her. "See? Nothing to worry about," he insisted.

Still not convinced, she ran her hands over his smooth, unbroken skin, inspecting it for the slightest indentation, finally feeling the painful knot in her stomach begin to untie when she didn't find any. She was only supposed to be looking for teeth marks, but she couldn't help noticing how taut and well-sculpted his muscles were from months spent toiling on the farm. She was relieved when he replaced his shirt, covering his body back up, so she could focus on the conversation again.

"Do you have a minute?" she asked him, before he could rush off on some errand and she lost her moment. If she didn't do this now, she never would. She couldn't watch him walk away from her again without saying anything.

"For you? Always," he agreed.

Sensing that it was important, he followed her around the side of the building, away from prying eyes and ears. "What did you want to tell me?"

She wasn't sure how to start, so she decided to dive right in before she lost her nerve. "I've been thinking about what you said. About wanting to give this - us - a chance."

His breath hitched, and he tried not to look too eager for her answer as he prompted her, "And…?"

"And," she repeated, taking a step in his direction, closing the distance between them. She took his face in both hands and pulled it down to meet hers, pouring everything she felt into kissing him.

She felt him smile against her mouth and he wrapped his arms around her, drawing her as close to him as he could. He was covered in walker blood and gore and he had definitely smelled better, but she didn't care. All that mattered in that moment was that he was still here for them to do this.

"Is that a 'yes'?" he teased her, resting his forehead against hers when they finally came up for air.

"Yes," she agreed, keeping her arms looped around his neck. "I want to see where this goes."

"You weren't so sure before," he reminded her, and she realised that from his perspective, her change of heart must seem abrupt. "What brought this on?" He studied her face like he was trying to see inside her head, to read her mind.

Ever since his close call, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about what almost happened, how close she came to losing him forever and how she still could. She didn't know what she would have done if he was bitten, especially with so much still left unfinished between them. "I just don't want us to die with any regrets," she told him, kissing him again.