LXI

Non Extinguetur

Kouga smiles the widest smile of his life, feels his heart beating against his ribs, the rhythm of a thousand drums wild and loose in his chest.

You won't lose me, not if I can help it.

Kagome's words stir all that he feels for her to life within him, so much glow of love that Inuyasha blushes and turns his back, and Kikyou must look away – it hurts too much to see what she will never have.

Kagome is content merely to be, awake and whole, safe in her self again. There are questions, but they are all beneath the surface, condensing in their own time beneath the weight of new knowledge she now possesses. Her mind is sorting strangeness automatically, new things that come to light in flickers and pass out of her awareness almost before she can process them. Look at Kikyou's face – flick, and a flash of something red – look at Kouga, and even the memory of that flick is faded, almost gone.

She can already see that this is something that will take careful management, and might never be useful. While she knows Kikyou now, and even Inuyasha through her, she still feels no trust, no connection beyond that which fate has made for them. She needs something more than the other woman's memory, something personal - a bond of friendship between them. That there is a connection, she cannot deny.

Her first question comes to her, on the heels of that thought, and she speaks it aloud without a specific person in mind – it affects all of them, really.

"So what are we going to do now? What does this mean for us?"

Kouga turns to Kagome, surprised – what has changed, now that she is awake? What is she asking? Did they not already have plans and future promises?

He casts his gaze over their two guests, sees something in Kikyou's eyes that intuits understanding; the hanyou's face is blank, his eyes averted – he is thinking thoughts, that much is plain, but Kouga doesn't know what they might be.

"Kagome, nothing is changed. We have responsibilities, a journey home to make. The snow has already kept us longer than I planned."

"Keh. Like it matters to us! Kikyou and I have our own business -"

"No! You've got shikon shards, and if they're your business then it is my business!"

Kagome scowls at Inuyasha, but he only turns his nose up at her and looks away. It is disrespect in more than one way, and Kouga feels it sharply.

"Hanyou! Apologize! You won't speak to my woman that way -"

Inuyasha sneers, crosses his arms, shrugs.

"Why do I care whose woman she is? Who are you, anyway? Kouga. Kaede talked about you -"

Kikyou reaches out a hand, cool, calming, speaks Inuyasha's name in a placating tone.

"You shouldn't be rude, Inuyasha – they're our hosts – and you heard what I said about this girl..."

Kouga feels his teeth with his tongue, sharp in his mouth.

"You should listen to her, hanyou. Apologize!"

Under the pressure of Kouga's stare, Kikyou's hand, Inuyasha turns stiffly to Kagome and makes the briefest, shallowest bow she has ever seen.

"Sorry – for insulting you."

It isn't much, but Kouga can scent Kagome's irritation, her impatience with all this – does she not care? Did she not want him to defend her? There are a hundred questions there, but in front of this audience is not the place to ask them. He swallows his anger and steps back, but his stare is unwavering, focused on the hanyou's eyes. If he could only transmit all that he is thinking without words -

But the stare will have to do – for now.

Kikyou speaks up again, calming, soothing, logical.

"Kagome is right, Inuyasha. Our business is her business, as long as we are seeking the shards of the shikon no tama. Its guardianship is no longer mine to claim. It has passed to her – along with almost everything else."

"Hey -"

"Give her our shards, Inuyasha!"

Kouga is surprised to see white shock on the hanyou's face. What startles him so much? As if against his will, Kouga watches five clawed Inu fingers jerk into the red sleeve of the hanyou's robe and pull out a tiny leather bag.

Inuyasha pulls the thong that holds the bag of shards closed, and lets it fall open in his palm. Six shards, four large, two small, sit gleaming pink and precious on the dark leather. The shine of them reflects brightly in four pairs of eyes, and Inuyasha holds out his hand abruptly, thrusts the shards at Kagome.

"Here! Take them!"

Kagome looks uncertainly at Kouga. She knows what will happen if she takes them in her hands, can already feel the wriggling intensity of their movement in her flesh.

"I – maybe Kouga should -"

But it is too late. Inuyasha reaches out a hand for one of hers and jerks her forward six inches, upends the bag in her hands and then jolts backwards as what she knows is coming begins. Kikyou's voice sounds from behind Inuyasha, soft but imperative, turning him back to watch.

A half dozen shards of the shikon gem disappear into Kagome's flesh, sink beneath her skin in a hum of pink brilliance. The flesh they leave behind is smooth and pale, unmarked by any sign of the bubbling disturbance that had pulled the shards out of sight.

Kagome is breathing hard now, nauseous not from sensation but from watching the shards disappear. Like the last time, and the first which she does not remember, the moment the shards vanish she ceases to feel them. The presence of their power is with her, but not a single nerve is nudged by the jewel inside her.

She looks up and sees Inuyasha's eyes on her, perplexed and fearful. On Kikyou's face is only expectation confirmed, and Kagome feels a certain sense of betrayal in that.

"You knew!"

Her finger, outstretched, points accusingly at the other woman.

"You knew that would happen – why did you make him give them to me?"

"I did not know, only suspected. Why does it bother you? You are the guardian of the shikon no tama. One way or another, it will come to be with you, within you – where it belongs."

Kikyou steps forward, takes Kagome's hand in her own, lays her fingers over the individual pieces of gem. Kagome hears her voice, urgent and thoughtful, a pressure against her mind and not her ears.

"Don't you know that it is as much a part of you as your own soul? That it is bound up with you, seeking you – as you are seeking it? It belongs to you far more than it ever did to me."

Kagome steps back, and her hand slips out of Kikyou's, falls limp to her side.

Bound up with me?

She has thought only a little of what the shikon no tama means to her, but the tiniest contemplation is enough to tell her Kikyou is right. Without even a, moment's pause, she had decided Inuyasha's shards were her business. Since the day Kouga had given her the bags of shards to hold onto, she has protected them – or at least kept them in her possession, a burden she isn't often conscious of.

And how does Kikyou know so much about this stuff?

More flickers assault her, fragments of memories – a temple, much learning, scrolls long enough to unroll across a wide hall...

She makes an impulsive decision then, and reaches out to take Kikyou's hand again.

"Kouga, I'm going to take Kikyou for a bath – we need some time for girl talk. Why don't you figure out with Inuyasha what we should do next? I think...I think that Kikyou and I should stay together, for the time being at least."

She smiles for Kouga, a smile to ease his obvious uncertainty, then pulls Kikyou with her out into the hall and toward the bath.

A/N: Another chapter! This one's title, "non extinguetur", translates to "shall not be extinguished". I'm hard at work on book two of my novel series, and marketing is a new and impressive challenge, so expect perhaps one chapter a week for the next while. More as soon as I can, and

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