It was daylight when Neteyam suddenly opened his eyes with a start.

His heart raced against his pulse as the fragment of a dream faded into the back of his head. His back was covered in cold sweat and the muscles in his shoulders were too tense not to be painful. As is often the case, his dream had not been a happy one.

With a groan, the boy rubbed his face to clear the last images from his mind and then, as he finally became aware of the light that had replaced the night, realization froze his features.

He had fallen asleep.

Neteyam sat up abruptly as an uncomfortable grimace settled on his face. His neck was racked with merciless pain from the position he had been in for Eywa knew how long. The night spent on his ilu certainly didn't help his back feel better either. However, his comfort was not his priority.

Since when had he let his guard down?

He didn't even remember falling asleep...

Neteyam looked around, still disconcerted by his lack of precautions. He was still at the entrance to the hut just as he remembered it before he fell asleep. The curtains that had been installed to keep the interior insulated were still adamantly closed and not even a breeze seemed able to disturb them. Nothing had changed. His ears lowered slightly knowing that this meant there was still no news from Lo'ak.

He didn't even know how he was doing in the first place...

It had all happened so quickly when Lo'ak had been found. Neteyam couldn't count all the emotions that had burst out of his chest at that moment. It had been such a chaotic mix of joy and fear, relief and anxiety.

Neteyam was only able to see a glimpse of his brother before he was taken away from him. His father had been in more of a hurry than ever as he held Lo'ak close to his heart, and the panic etched on his features had upset him to no end. His breath had been taken away and his hands had been shaking the whole time, but his parents' looks weren't what terrified him the most.

The worst had been the blood.

Neteyam had seen blood on Lo'ak, but the shock he felt had been so strong that he was unable to describe how much he had seen, nor from what wounds it came. The only thing that was clear in his mind were the red stains on his mother's hands and the drops that covered the ground behind his father's footsteps.

It was impossible to forget the distress that had taken possession of his body at that moment. As if he should expect to lose his brother again, only this time... in a more permanent way.

He thinks he will never forget this feeling.

Neteyam sighed, his eyes still fixed on the curtain that prevented him from joining Lo'ak. He wanted so badly to open the finely woven fabric, his body itched just at the thought. He wanted to know how Lo'ak was doing, he wanted to be by his side, he wanted to help in any way he could, but...at the same time...he couldn't bring himself to do it as if it was physically impossible to cross this wall even though it was so thin. Maybe it was out of fear of disappointing his parents by disobeying them or maybe... it was simply because he was too terrified of not being able to face Lo'ak.

Neteyam had never been afraid to look Lo'ak in the eye before, but now, just imagining it made his stomach twist. He had left his little brother to the mercy of the world. He hadn't supported him even though he knew Lo'ak needed it badly. It was his role to be there for him. It was something he committed to do until his last breath but he had already turned his back on that promise.

Will Lo'ak still trust him after this ?

"Are you going to daydream any longer, sleepy head ? ", a soft voice was heard near him putting an end to his thoughts.

Surprised, Neteyam turned towards the familiar voice to find Kiri looking at him with amusement despite her tired eyes. Her hair was messier than usual and he could clearly see that unlike him, she hadn't slept a single second.

"Kiri…", he said under his breath, still not awake enough for his voice to be louder than a whisper. "How long have I been asleep ? "

Kiri seemed to think for a moment. "A few hours I think", she then looked towards the hut. "Norm showed up not long after and they haven't been out since."

"Norm ? ", he exclaimed in surprise and Kiri gave him a dark look as she placed her finger on her lips to signal him to shut up. Neteyam immediately closed his mouth as his eyes fell on Tuk who was sleeping soundly with her head on Kiri's thighs. The little girl wrinkled her nose a little at the noise but to their relief, she relaxed again without waking up.

Kiri smiled tenderly at their sister as she repositioned the shawl that covered her then she took a more serious look. " Yes. Dad told me he called him to take care of Lo'ak but you were asleep at the time."

Neteyam massaged his forehead with tight throat. He hated feeling like he was falling behind. He didn't like missing important events like that and knowing that the situation was serious enough for their father to seek help from their people rather than the Tsahik only made him feel more guilty for sleeping.

"You should have woken me up", he said, sitting up straighter to face his sister.

Kiri blinked several times as if stunned. "Neteyam, you were completely exhausted. You needed to sleep. I wasn't going to wake you up for that"

Neteyam shook his head stubbornly, placing his face in his hands. "What I needed was to be there for the family. I should never have slept with so much going on. It was stupid"

Kiri opened and closed her mouth several times without seeming to know what to say. Then she grabbed his arm so he would look at her. "But you were there for the family all night. You searched for Lo'ak all night. You deserved to rest", she said, "And you didn't miss a thing. Norm and Dad walked straight into the hut and whether you were asleep or not it wouldn't have made a difference. Lo'ak is alive and he will survive. It is the most important "

The boy swallows hard without the weight forming in his stomach seeming to disappear. Kiri seemed so confident that it almost made him want to believe her. She said all this as if it was a fact that everyone knew except him, as if it was a simple and irrevocable truth. But even her certainty could not silence his mind as it whispered his doubts in his ear.

Did he really deserve it ? He could hear. Had he done enough to deserve it ?

He would like to believe that it was what he had done...

But he knew that wasn't the case.

Kiri softens her grip on his arm before sliding her hand up to his in a comforting manner. "Neteyam. Why would you think otherwise ? "

Why ? He seemed to have so many reasons why. There were so many mistakes he had made and each of them remained etched in his mind like poorly healed burns. But his last mistakes were certainly the most painful.

Neteyam squeezed his sister's hand as the knot that had bound his tongue for so long finally seemed to loosen.

"We didn't find him Kiri", Neteyam croaked with a hoarse throat, "If it hadn't been for this tulkun we never would have found him. All the research was for nothing ". He paused to keep his voice from shaking, "I couldn't be there for him when he needed me. So... I want to be now. I don't want to abandon him again."

Tears formed in Kiri's eyes mirroring his own. "You didn't abandon him. You never did"

"But I did ", he insisted, "Lo'ak is not the only one responsible for the fight. I was too. I didn't stop him, I fought alongside him without doing anything to stop him. Instead, I encouraged him. Lo'ak wasn't alone and I should have apologized with him. All this wouldn't have happened if I did"

"You can't always take the blame for Lo'ak. He makes mistakes and even if he probably has his reasons, you shouldn't have to deal with the consequences of his actions all the time", Kiri stated firmly.

Neteyam could almost have laughed. Lo'ak was an idiot, but he was a well-meaning idiot. His mistakes were just failed attempts to prove that he could do well. Neteyam knew how their father was with him and how much it hurt his brother. He just wanted to help her. Otherwise… who would ?

His lower lip trembled. "But he needs someone to rely on"

"Yes", Kiri whispered with lowered ears, "And you are not alone. I am also his big sister. I know...I know I'm not the most reliable person and I have to deal with a lot of things but what I'm trying to say is that it shouldn't just be your burden."

Neteyam sniffed. "But I'm the oldest. I should do better. For all of you "

Kiri smiles sadly with humor. "You're only a few months older, I remind you", she laughed before saying more calmly, "You're already doing everything you can every single day and... your best is enough."

Neteyam smiled slightly at his sister's words. She had always had this wisdom that was as captivating as it was intriguing. Neteyam had always thought it was the reason why Kiri got along best with their grandmother. The role of Tsahik had always fascinated her.

For the second time, Neteyam felt an urgent need to cry as if his eyes had a will of their own. He couldn't remember the last time he talked about his feelings so much. His doubts, his sorrows, his fears. These were things he had buried like a dirty secret he had to hide at all costs. Talking about it was terrifying. He felt like a child crying for nothing but for some reason the weight in his stomach seemed to have shrunk a little.

"Thank you", he whispered. It certainly wasn't enough compared to the gratitude he felt but Kiri seemed to understand as they still kept their hands linked like when they were kids.

Maybe he should confide more often... just a little, Neteyam thought before a rustling of fabric suddenly made them turn their heads towards the hut as their father came out from behind the curtain.

Neteyam and Kiri remained silent as if time had frozen and it only took a few seconds for Neteyam to stand up. His attention was entirely focused on his father. He could see that his eyes were wet but the glow in his pupils expressed neither fear nor sorrow. Instead, he seemed almost happy.

"He's fine," he smiled, "He'll get better," he finally told them and Neteyam's shoulders suddenly sagged as he released the breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"Oh thank you Great Mother", Kiri sighed loudly with a hand on the chest and Tuk slowly raised her head while rubbing her eyes.

" What is happening ? ", the little girl asked and Kiri hugged her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Lo'ak is alright. He's saved", she replied with the biggest smile she could muster and Tuk's ears perked up as her eyes lit up with joy.

Neteyam just looked at them. He felt unsteady on his feet, like he had just woken up again. His heart no longer hurt as much as before and his lungs could finally fill completely with air as he repeated their father's words to himself.

He's fine... Oh thank you Eywa, he's fine.

Neteyam then felt a hand grab his arm before he was pushed down. Forced to crouch, it took a moment for Neteyam to realize that his father had wrapped his arms around him and his sisters. He held all three of them in a strong grip charged of emotions and despite the uncomfortable position they were held in, they couldn't bring themselves to withdraw from the embrace.

It felt good. He could hear his father's heart beating as his face was pressed against his chest as well as Tuk's childish laughter echoing next to him. He could also feel Kiri's arm behind his back as well as his father's and it made him almost melancholic to be held like this, like when they were little, like when they were still at home.

He felt at peace.

"Can we go see him now ?", Tuk asked impatiently and their father pulled back to look at her.

"Yes of course", he said before getting up to open the curtain for them.

Tuk immediately ran inside as he and Kiri got up more slowly to follow her. Then, as he poked his head through the curtain, Neteyam was stopped by the sight that greeted him.

His brother was lying in the middle of the room, oblivious to those around him as Tuk and Kiri crouched down beside him. A few bandages covered him and the electrodes of a heart monitor were stuck to his chest while a beep sounded with each heartbeat. It didn't seem natural to see Lo'ak like this and as relieved as he was, Neteyam couldn't suppress the unease that rose in his chest.

"Neteyam", his mother called seeing his hesitation as she motioned for him to come closer and Neteyam almost shyly moved forward to sit beside her.

This way he could have a better view of his brother's state. The most superficial cuts had been left in the open air while the others had been bandaged. Neteyam almost didn't know where to look. There were so many injuries. They were of all sizes and all over his body but the worst was his leg which was tightly wrapped and held in a sort of metal cage. Without needing to know what it was for, Neteyam knew he didn't like it.

"Is he really okay ?", he asked without really knowing to who as he keeped his eyes on the strange tool that contained his brother's leg.

Norm looked up from his screen at his question before giving his device to another scientist to answer. " He is, don't worry. He just needs to rest and be careful then he will be able to run again like nothing happened. I promise", he then turned to his parents, "he will need a few months of convalescence if he wants to heal completely though. This means that he must put no pressure on his leg, not even to walk for a few seconds"

Neteyam nodded still conflicted between feeling relieved or worried. He then felt his mother put her hand on his shoulder as if she could read his thoughts.

"Your brother will be fine", she said even though she probably felt the same way as him. She then turned to his sisters. "You must believe in him"

Kiri and Tuk nodded while Neteyam placed his hand on Lo'ak's forehead. As small as the gesture was, it made him feel a little better by doing it as if he could convey his support. As if, in this way, he was telling him that he was watching over him, even in unconsciousness.

Be strong brother, he thought, I'm here.

Max then cleared his throat while putting his glasses back in place. "Yes he will be fine but we must also not forget that he almost died", he explained towards Jake and Neytiri, "This kind of thing often leaves psychological traces and as long as we do not know what happened to him, it's difficult to estimate how much it impacted him"

"So…what should we do ?", Kiri asked with brows furrowed in worry.

"Be attentive. Patient. Try to make him feel safe and invite him to talk about it if possible", Max advised, "There aren't necessarily right answers but these are the main things you can do. All of you "

"So that's what we'll do", his father said, crouching down in the circle they had formed around Lo'ak. "We will take care of him." He then looked at each of them as they all exchanged a silent agreement.

Despite his tight chest, Neteyam clenched his fists with determination. They had all been close to death at least once in their lives, such as when he and Lo'ak were caught in an explosion on the battlefield or when they encountered the avatars and the Colonel Quaritch in the forest. The only difference was that they had never come as close to die as Lo'ak had just done.

Neteyam knew he was going to support his brother as much as possible as he had always tried to do. He never wanted to question that again. But as he looked at his family huddled around his brother so protectively, Neteyam knew for what seemed like the first time that he would not be alone during this difficult time. His chest didn't feel heavy like before as the load seemed to divide for each person willing to take a share.

He was no longer alone, and Neteyam sincerely hoped that Lo'ak felt the same way.

We are together brother. You can trust us.