Subtitle: Never going to give it up, never going to live it down
"Shut up Toji" snapped Asuka/Shinji in perfect unison.
Rei walked up behind Asuka and rested her chin on Asuka's shoulder. "Is there a problem Asuka?"
"No, Rei, just the stooges being themselves."
Multiple pairs of eyes stared at them.
"What on earth happened?" Kensuke asked a stunned expression on his face, "Shinji disappears for a month, supposedly in a Nerv hospital. And now the Demon and the Ice Queen are friends? How did that happen?"
"In an elevator" supplied Rei, accurately but unhelpfully.
"Well, I was going to ask about your next date with your girlfriend, but I think your wife has stolen her" teased Hikari, joining the group.
Horaki Avoiding-The-Obvious-For-Her-Own-Safety Hikari refrains from specifying which is which.
Shinji groaned, "I'm never going to live that down am I?".
"No" responded Asuka/Rei, Asuka's cheerfulness somehow harmonising with Rei's almost-monotone.
"For the last time, I'm not dating Asuka and I'm not married to Ayanami."
"Rei" retorted Asuka.
"What?"
"If you're married you should call her Rei. You're too formal baka."
Shinji puts his head in his hands.
Rei put her arm around Shinji's shoulders. No one had even noticed her move.
"You no longer wish to be married to me?"
Shinji stared at her. He was almost certain she was joking, possibly at Asuka's instigation, but it was always better to take Ayanami, no Rei, literally.
"Rei, I'm fourteen, I don't want to be married to anyone."