Asuka was angry.

Hot and angry.
Angry and hot.
Practically melting.
Like the ice cream she'd have if baka-Shinji hadn't forgotten to get her any.

So she was lying in the very slightly cooler breeze the remaining struggling air conditioner produced while baka-Shinji somehow had the energy to do housework around her. Doing housework and somehow never actually looking at her, despite her lying there almost naked. The horrendous heat meant that even in the thinnest top she owned she was sweating and the fabric was clinging to her tighter than a plugsuit. Certainly more revealing than one anyway. She didn't want him looking at her like that, but why the hell wasn't he? She knew she was attractive, but why not to him? Were Wondergirl's soft curves so much more alluring that she was beneath his notice?

The heat of Japan's endless summer really had seemed endless, but it was somehow even worse since the rain. Everything was even worse since the rain. Rain should be good. The temperature had even approached that of sensible countries.

Except the rain had trapped Shinji when he went to drop off food for Wondergirl for over a day. Not that he'd seemed to mind at all. Wondergirl's bed was no doubt as tiny as the apartment she lived in. The apartment that Asuka was never allowed to visit. The tiny bed which baka-Shinji no doubt took advantage of having to share with Wondergirl. An annoying part of her subconscious thinks she'd do the same. Not in the same way as baka-Shinji of course, but despite how upset with Wondergirl she was, that part of her brain would not let go of the idea of curling up with and being held by Rei the same way she had once made baka-Shinji do.

Baka-Shinji went past carrying sheets to the laundry, as if to taunt her with thoughts of where he'd been sleeping. Or not sleeping.

Not sleeping was something she'd been doing a lot of, for much less enjoyable reasons. Well enjoyable to them presumably. All baka had done after what felt like endless nights of nightmares was to put a futon under the remaining air conditioner so she could get another meagre hour of sleep. In a space that was barely big enough for her. No room for him to actually lie next to her and keep the nightmares away, even if she'd been willing to ask. They'd only fit if they lay on top of each other. Which would be too hot and too suggestive of things she needed to stop thinking about before she exploded.

There were still so many other people she was angry at.

At Misato, for not being around to get the second air-conditioner fixed as soon as it broke.

At the Invincible Shinji, who wouldn't push back against a wet paper bag even when he was in a giant fucking robot. Who the hell apologises for having waking nightmares to the arschlöcher who caused them in the first place?

At Misato, and all the other people who seemed to be perpetually sex obsessed. She didn't want to be thinking about it at all, but it kept creeping in everywhere. Japanese were supposed to be so reserved, but even Hikari-the-perfect-little-japanese-girl was a closet pervert. She just wanted to be left alone with her sehnsucht to be held without it meaning anything else.

At herself for not having found a better word for whatever it was she wanted, one that didn't have implications of sex to the perverts around her. She was supposed to be a genius who knew multiple languages. It shouldn't be that hard to describe a simple thing she didn't understand.

At Rei, for suddenly barely even being Wondergirl, being distant and robotic. She was barely even Ayanami the Doll. A single rejected hug wouldn't cause her to be like that, would it? She'd declined one before, though with less vehemence. The master of penetrating questions hadn't even asked why.

At baka-Shinji, for waking her constantly through the night. It was bad enough having her own nightmares without the wretched nighttime synchronisation waking her whenever he opened his eyes.

At her Eva, for being increasingly difficult to synchronise with. Unit 00 was supposed to be the temperamental one, not her precious Unit 02. It shouldn't be becoming a struggle rather than a comfort to synchronise.

At whatever perverse deity or quirk of the universe meant that she couldn't touch the one person who could make the nightmares go away while she could feel every movement of someone else holding him without fear.

At the girls at school who thought she wasn't good enough for him. It wasn't that their opinion mattered of course, but the idea had been getting under her skin. Worse, the idea that they might actually be right. He was even a better pilot now, especially after all her unacknowledged effort in training him. He was a better cook, she was better than Misato, but then so was PenPen - it wasn't exactly a high bar. He was gentle. She left bruises on him when she made him hold her. He was considerate. She only managed to do anything when he was literally screaming in remembered pain. Hikari was nicer to him than she managed even on a good day. No wonder he preferred Wondergirl.

At baka-Shinji, who was not and would never be her boyfriend but seemed to forget that didn't mean he wasn't still her's. She couldn't even explain to herself what that meant, but he should know anyway.

At Shinji for making such delicious food, then packing half of it to take to his girlfriend with the outlandish, and extremely soft, unnaturally blue hair. Was unnatural even the right word when she knew very well that Wondergirl's hair was naturally that colour?

At baka-Shinji for thinking of her when she was right there needing him for things she couldn't put words to.

Watching him pack up food with a whole pile of separate blue boxes, it was obvious what he'd rather be doing on their first day off since the rain.

"Just go fuck Rei then."

Shinji, who had been ignoring Asuka muttering what was probably swear words in german at him for the last hour, despite him tending to her requests, just nodded, finished packing up the food and left. Asuka was clearly unhappy with him. Sending him off to take food to Rei made sense. He'd be out of her way. Rei would get food. The train would hopefully have working air-conditioning.

Asuka stared at the door, "What the hell? He left me. For her. Again." She threw one of Misato's empty beer cans at the door. The sound wasn't nearly as satisfying as she'd hoped.

It felt like an hour later that Asuka started to smile as Rei hugged her. Hugged Shinji. Argh. Zusätzlicher Ziegenkot. Why now? Not having shared a bed in days, the morning synchronisation had once again lasted just long enough for her to share the 'wonderful' feeling of Shinji's bladder emptying. Did whatever random effect caused the synchronisation issues hate her too? She briefly considered raiding Misato's liquor stash, then thought better of it. With her luck, lowering her inhibitions would result in staying in sync while Rei and Shinji made out - a memory of drunk Misato crossed her mind - or worse, going over there and kissing both of them in person. That thought made her mouth taste like one of Misato's beers.

If she'd been able to go and sit in her Eva for a while that would probably have helped. Anything that burned off energy would just make her even hotter and she'd be dropping from heat exhaustion before she got to the point she was any calmer.

She settled for a mostly-cold shower. Showers were the one thing they waited until they were no longer synchronised for. So it was safe. Safe to cool down and wash the sweat off. With her own hands. Just her own hands. Until her imagination decided it was quite up to the task of providing sensations she'd never experienced. Of being washed by someone else. Of particular someones else. At the same time. Gently scrubbing clean those hard to reach places on her back. Washing every last dreg of LCL out of her hair without any risk of painful tugs. Letting the water run over her skin while being cleaned all the way down to her toes with one of those exfoliating cloths that left her skin so smooth. Fingertips scrubbing her scalp, knowing exactly the right spots.

Dammit.

Asuka reached for the expensive imported conditioner. While she might not have a personal spa staffed by the only two people she could stand having touch her, she could at least pamper herself. And not think about what they were doing together.

She turned the temperature down further.

.

.

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Notes: Zusätzlicher Ziegenkot - (Even) More goat shit - chosen for sound as much as meaning.
Sehnsucht - wiki/Sehnsucht - "degree of a violent and often painful longing for something, especially when one has no hope of attaining what is desired, or when attainment is uncertain, still distant."
arschlöcher - arseholes