Ford swallowed thickly as he looked up at the family pawn shop. His mother's neon sign in the upstairs window seemed to stare back at him. He wanted to take a step towards the door but it felt like his feet were sinking into the concrete. Maybe they were. He looked down for a second to make sure they weren't.
No, just solid ground. Cracked concrete and the familiar scent of lead paint wafting off the building.
He hadn't been home in ten years. Very occasionally he'd talk to his mother on the phone. That was it. He'd been too absorbed in his work to make time for his family. Not that they cared. Only one person ever truly cared. Cared enough to give him a second chance at a life with them. Maybe this time things would be different.
"You know humans are practically deaf and blind. I'm pretty sure they won't know you're here until you knock." The all-too-familiar voice of Ford's partner teased. A slender hand slipped up the back of his shoulder. Long almost human fingers curling into sharp hooks that made Ford shutter involuntarily.
"I know. I'm just thinking." Ford grumbled.
"They're you're family right? What's there to think about? Just go in there and show em' how much better off you are ever since they stopped holding you back."
Ford turned to grab the hand on his shoulder and gazed back into the singular massive eye that greeted him. "We haven't spoken in a long time. Please just-"
He looked down at Bill's hand clasped in his. Almost human… almost. Bill's best attempt at something humanlike. A body he crafted just for Ford. To give him something in this world to hold. "Please just try to play it cool alright?" Ford asked. Looking back up at Bill's eye.
Bill smiled a wide toothy grin that spread from ear to ear. Twisting into unnatural shapes a human jaw could never realistically manage. "Come on Fordsy I'm the coolest person you know." He teased. Floating up above the sidewalk and lightly yanking Ford's arm about as he lazily twirled in the air.
Ice crept up Ford's arm from where they clasped hands. It sent a biting cold deep into his bones that made him attempt to jerk back from the pain. He grabbed his own arm trying to squirm away but Bill refused to let go. Ford shivered and gasped from the frostbite.
"Don't tell me you're nervous ." Bill challenged.
"W-what, m-me? Nervous? N-n-no." Ford chuckled awkwardly through chattering teeth. Waving his free hand dismissively.
Bill dropped Ford's hand and the ice that was crawling up his arm melted away nearly instantly. Taking the cold chill with it. "Well then, in that case-" Bill twirled his finger and Ford felt dizzy as his body spun back around to face the house. Bill smacked his cane across his ass loud enough to create an audible crack.
Ford yelped ungracefully and stumbled forward. Whacking his face against the front door. His hand landed directly on the doorbell which greeted him with a familiar sharp buzzing sound.
"Oh Stanford is that you!" His mother's voice cheered from the other side of the door. "Shermie set the table! Stanford's home!" She shouted.
Ford scrambled back from the door and hurriedly fixed his hair and clothes. Taking a deep breath as he listened to the clatter inside. A startled cat and the sound of his mother's heels clicking down the stairs, the rustling of her slim figure shuffling through narrow racks of knickknacks. Finally the click of the tumbler settling into place as she unlocked the door.
"Oh Stanford, my baby boy! It's so good to see you!" Ford's mother gushed as she burst out the front door. Arms outstretched to pull him into an aggressive hug. She hung around his neck and peppered kisses on his scruffy cheek that left a series of red lipstick stains behind.
"Ma!" Ford whined as he pushed her off. Attempting to rub the makeup from his face. He could hear Bill chuckling to himself behind him. "I'm not a boy anymore." He grumbled.
"Oh of course you aren't. I know that sweetheart." His mother cooed. Still, she pinched his cheeks and stretched them into a forced smile. "But you'll always be my baby boy."
Ford pulled back and rubbed his cheeks. He wasn't prepared for such a warm greeting from his mother. He didn't realize how much she missed him. Or maybe it was all performative. Probably the latter. She was always one for exaggeration. Besides, she knew he was coming home with power and success. That was probably why she was so eager to see him. Ma gestured past Ford to the dream demon behind him. "Is that your partner you were tellin' me about on the phone?" She asked.
Ford looked back at Bill and nodded. Thankfully Bill had once again planted his feet on the concrete. Back straight with his hands behind him like a gentleman.
"Bill Cipher. Pleasure to meet ya!" Bill greeted. Tipping his top hat with a low sweeping bow. "I didn't know Fordsy had a sister."
His hat floated back to his head to sit on a nest of golden blond hair as he reached out a hand to take Ma's. He kissed the back of her knuckles. His long dark fingers coiling up her wrist as his tongue lolled out to slobber all over her wedding band. His wide mouth took up half his face, the other half consumed by a single close eye. The long lashes grazed Ma's skin as she giggled.
"Aw Stanford, I didn't know your partner was such a charmer." Ma cooed.
Ford shuffled awkwardly in place. Rubbing his arm. He wasn't expecting Bill to be received so warmly. Most people probably would have screamed and run away by now. Then again, Ma always said Ford was special. Perhaps she had more of a stomach for the unusual than most.
"Yeah, he's certainly something." Ford laughed.
Bill zipped over to his side to wrap an arm around Ford's shoulder and poked his chest with his cane. "I'll tell you who's something-" Bill laughed. "This guy over here is a riot. Love at first sight I'm tellin' you. Never met a weirder mind than this one. Couldn't be prouder of my little pet human."
Ford could feel the blush rise to his cheeks. It was embarrassing having Bill gush over him like this in front of his mother, but he couldn't help but feel a small sense of pride. A warmth that bloomed in his chest. He was Bill's favorite human. His chosen one. Ford's muse had selected him and set him apart from all others to share the universe with. It was a privilege no other man on earth would ever know.
It was worth being proud of. His mother should be proud.
"Aw, how romantic." Ma squealed. "Come on in boys. I just got dinner on the table. Your's Pa's just washin' up." She waved the both of them in the front door.
Ford felt a pit in his gut. He knew his father would be less receptive. It was one thing to bring a multidimensional being from beyond human comprehension home. It was another thing to bring a man home. He wasn't sure if his mother had already broken that news to him or not. He hoped so. He hoped his family was braced for it, at least somewhat.
Bill hooked his arm in Ford's. "Lead the way Sixer." He cooed. Leaning his head on his shoulder. His skull slightly melting and molding to the contours of Ford's body.
Ford did his best to straighten up and try to look more confident than he felt as he led Bill through the pawn shop. It was admittedly a bit difficult to look like a gentleman while squeezing sideways past tightly packed rows of breakable objects. Their father arranged the store that way on purpose. You break it you buy it. It was a profitable strategy, if a bit annoying. Bill however had no trouble squishing between shelfs like some gelatious blob all to stay close to Ford as they moved. Their bodies pressed up against each other so tight Ford could feel the warm distorted figure faintly grinding against his ass when Ma wasn't looking. He could swear he could hear Bill's heartbeat though he was pretty sure Bill didn't have one.
The stairs creaked on the way up to the house. The peeling orange mod wallpaper and smell of cigarettes hit Ford like a truck. A wave of overwhelming nostalgia came flooding back. Some good, some bad. It was a complicated mix of emotions. His mother's black cat Isis jumped on his father's reading chair by the door to greet him.
She was an old cat with a matted coat and a crooked tail who crooned at him like an injured nightingale. Ford reached out a hand to stroke her back and scratched between her ears with his extra pinky. "Yes number nine, I missed you too." He greeted. An inside joke among the family that she'd been on her last life for years. Shocking she was still alive at all. The old bird was resilient. Ford definitely had to give her that.
"Oh wow, ma wasn't kiddin'. Ya really did bring a twink home." An oafish older voice laughed.
Ford turned to spot his older brother Shermie already seated at the dinner table. Leaning back with his disgusting feet up on the table. Nothing but his boots, a wife beater, and his dog tags hung around his neck.
"Ay, Stanley get a load o' this guy!" Shermie mocked. Looking back towards the hall that lead to the bedrooms and gesturing to Ford with his thumb. "Wait till Pa sees this! He's gonna flip!"
Ford's heart stopped for several agonizing seconds. Bill seemed to notice. Coiling himself tighter around Ford's body like ivy as he stared stiffly at the hallway. Stan stepped out into the living area looking the same as he did the last time Ford saw him. He had certainly looked better. Less greasy, less like he'd been living out of the back of a car for god knows how long. Stan narrowed his eyes at Bill before looking back at Ford. "I was wondering when you'd show your face around here."
"Now Stanley that's no way to greet your brother." Ma scolded as she buckled their nephew into his highchair next to Shermie.
Of course, she didn't correct Shermie whenever he bullied the twins. Nor did she ever expect him to raise his own child, but that was neither here nor there at this point. This was supposed to be a nice family dinner. Ford needed to keep reminding himself of that.
"What am I supposed to say Ma!?" Stanley barked. Waving to Ford and his partner. "Good ta see ya? Thanks for ending the world!?"
Bill grinned devilishly. His eye curling upward as his narrow pupil darted between the bickering family members.
"Now Stanley quit exagerattin' we're all still here ain't we?" Ma countered.
"Ma do you even know where here is!?" Stanley shouted in frustration.
The baby was started by his volume and started crying causing Shermie to cover his ears and snap back. "Great! Now you made the baby cry! Little shit's gonna ruin dinner with his screaming."
"Oh boo hoo." Stanley whined mockingly. "Gee maybe if you actually tried bein' a dad for once you'd know how to shut him up."
"Both of you shut up!" Ma snapped as she unbuckled the baby again and picked them back up to rock them. Bobbing frantically as the little boy soaked her shoulder in snot and tears.
"What's with all the racket in here." Pa griped as he entered the kitchen.
Everyone went quiet to look back at him. Shermie pointed at Stanley. "Stanley started it." He accused.
Pa looked over at Stanley who gestured exasperatedly to his chest. "Oh come on! Why's everything always gotta be my fault?" He pointed to Ford. "He's the one who brought a demon into our house."
"Stanford brought power inta this house." Pa corrected. Aggressively jabbing Stanley's chest with a stern finger. "The only reason you're even here is cause he paid your way back in. Coverin' for your screw-ups so you could come home. Ya better show that man some fuckin' gratitude."
Ford couldn't help but feel a bit smug seeing Stanley put in his place. He never really wanted him kicked out in the first place, but still. His dad was praising his achievements. Ford was powerful now. More than any of them could ever comprehend. He could provide them all with their wildest dreams. Even Stanley.
All Ford needed from him was one simple apology and Stanley would never want for anything again for the rest of his days.
Stanley looked back at Ford for a moment. Ford crossed his arms and puffed up his chest with pride. Leaning ever so slightly into Bill who hung from his shoulder. Rubbing his cheek against Ford's sleeve like a cat scenting their human. Marking territory. His favorite human. The only human worthy of his power and blessings.
Stanley's gaze flicked between Ford and Bill for a moment. A few tense seconds passed. He grit his teeth and stared down at the ratty old carpet. Clenching his fists at his sides. He couldn't say it. Not a thank you. Not even an apology. Typical. Ford wasn't sure what else he was expecting. His shoulders went limp as his ego deflated. All the hot air expelled through his nose as he sighed.
"Boy, what a great family you guys got here!" Bill chimed. His echoey metallic voice cutting through the tense silence.
Thankfully Pa took that as an invite to drop it with Stanley and Ford didn't have to sit through another fight as Stanley refused to cooperate with a single very simple request.
Everyone gathered up around the table to eat Ma's medicorce cooking. It wasn't the worst food possible but she was never a great cook. Pa could cook, much to everyone's surprise. Ford only had his father's cooking once or twice. Only when his mother was sick and couldn't cook. Despite being better at it Pa only did it when he absolutely had to. It was a woman's work after all. Beneath him. Ford didn't agree. Good food was always appreciated no matter who was making it.
Dinner was awkward and silent at first. Only the sound of forks clinking against ceramics filled the room. Ford barely ate. Merely pushed his meal about on his plate to look vaguely like he was eating. Bill didn't touch his plate either. Resting his chin on his interlaced fingers and watching the rest of the family with an unreadable expression. His mouth seemed to have been absorbed back into his face, leaving only one single gaping eye to observe the table. His long slender fingers seemed to weave so tightly together one couldn't tell where his left hand ended and the right began.
Stanley was staring Bill down from the other side of the table. His glare locked on Bill's singular eye. Ford had to admit his partner was… unconventional. Bill's original form would have been even harder to explain to people. At least like this, he looked somewhat human. He had four limbs and hair and human clothes. When he wanted he even had a mouth separate from his eye. That's almost a human face.
His head was shaped like a human's. His skin, an inky black color and faintly rubbery to the touch. Ironically his suit felt more like human skin than his body. His face had a large golden triangle painted on the dark skin. Tattooed? Perhaps better to just call in natural discoloration. Vitiligo maybe? It was what remained of Bill's original body. The true form peeking out from the body he'd built around it. Shimmering gold seams like the mortar between bricks streamed down his unnaturally long slender neck and past the collar of his suit and that cute little bowtie.
Bill's body was perfect. It wasn't entirely human, it didn't need to be. He crafted this form specifically for Ford. Just for him. That alone made it the most beautiful body Ford had ever seen. Flawless in its many anomalies properties. Ford's muse would have never changed himself like this for anyone else.
The rest of the family didn't seem to appreciate the artistry the way Ford did.
"Always knew you were a fag." Shermie chuckled to himself. Looking away from Bill and shaking his head.
Ford's cheeks burned and he snapped his head around to look back at his older brother. "Shermie!"
"He's right ain't he?" Pa chimed in.
"You're joking right?" Stanley snapped. Standing up in his seat to gesture across the table at Bill. "That thing isn't a man! It's not even human!" He barked.
Thing . Ford tightened his grip on his cutlery. His steak knife gleaming in his hand. He could see his own tense jaw reflected in the metal as he looked down away from Stanely. Of course, he didn't understand. He never would. Stanley was too simple-minded to recognize personhood beyond the very narrow confines of humanity. He would never understand the world beyond the tiny little bubble of existence he was born into. Like a fish failing to comprehend the birds that hunted them.
A sudden snap pulled Ford's gaze back up. He wasn't going to say anything. He didn't have to apparently. Bill was smiling now. That big crocodile grin spread across his face. Distorting his mono-eye. Ford flinched on realizing what he was doing and looked across at Stanley who's eyes flashed yellow.
Stanley dropped back down into his chair and his whole demeanor changed. Clasping his hands together at his cheek. "What I meant to say is, he's so handsome and dreamy." Bill's voice cooed ecstatically from Stan's lips in a mocking falsetto. "You really know how to pick em Fordsy."
Ford turned even redder and turned to Bill. Lightly swatting his shoulder. "Bill!" He scolded. "You promised you wouldn't do this in front of my family." Or to his family for that matter.
"Oh relax. It's going great. Your family loves me. Look at em." Bill chuckled mischievously. Gesturing to Stanley across the table who he was puppeteering. Stanly grinned and twiddled his fingers at Bill. Blowing him a kiss and winking to boot.
Ford grabbed a hold of Bill's arm and gripped it tight. Feeling the flesh squish under his grip. He leaned up to whisper in his ear. "My muse, you're spoiling the game." He warned gently. A soft and sensual tone that made Bill shutter and trill with excitement. A voice Ford had gotten quite good at.
"Very well, for you Sixer." Bill snapped his fingers and Stanley fell face-first into his plate.
Stanley shot up wide-eyed and started. Gasping for air and brushing his shaggy hair back from his gravy-stained face. Chest heaving as he recovered full control of his limbs.
"Quit fuckin' around Stanley." Pa barked.
Stanley looked down at his plate. Clearly distressed. It almost hurt to see him so scared. Almost. He wasn't hurt after all. Bill didn't even touch him. He'd be fine. "I uhm-" Stanley swallowed but didn't look back at Pa. "Sorry pops." He apologized meekly. He glanced back up at Ford briefly.
Their eyes met and Ford could see a silent plea there. He watched his own face mirrored back at him. Beseeching him for mercy.
Ford cut off a slice of his steak and took a bite. Chewing slowly and looking away from Stanley's mournful gaze.
"So Bill." Ma interjected. Moving on from the exchange as though nothing had happened. "You're a sharp dresser. What is it you do for a livin'?" She asked.
Bill laughed at the question and it took every ounce of composure Ford had not to join him. What sort of a question was that to ask the god of the universe? It was going to take time for his family to fully understand their newfound position as cosmic VIPs. They had such small-minded imaginations. No matter, all in good time. They'd understand. Eventually. No matter how long it took. Ford had an eternity to make them understand.
"Oh, a little of this, little of that-" Bill replied playfully. He picked up his plate and dumped the whole meal into his gaping maw. Detaching his jaw to slide the plate in alongside all its contents. The sickening crunch of teeth on ceramic filled the air as he chewed. Talking through his full mouth. Little trails of blood dripped down his chin as he did so. "Haunting nightmares, conquering dimensions, and reducing their inhabitants to quivering amorphous blobs of screaming confusion." He mumbled past his food. "Finances." Bill swallowed in one loud gulp and burped contentedly.
Ma's eyes lit up. "Oh! Do you work on Wall Street?" She chirped. Positively giddy. She nudged Pa's shoulder and shook him lightly. "Leave it to our boy to bring home such a powerful man." She cooed. "Always knew you were the smart one."
"Hey!" Stanley and Shermie both replied in unison.
The baby just played absentmindedly with his mashed potatoes. Utterly oblivious to the whole conversation.
Ford only sighed and shook his head. A faint smile tugging at his lips.
"So, when's the wedding?" Ma asked.
Ford choked on his food and dropped his fork. Bill smacked him on the back with a third arm that extended from between his shoulder blades. Giving him a few good whacks till the meat dislodged from his windpipe.
Ford rubbed at his sore throat. "We're just partners Ma. No one said anything about marriage." He corrected. His relationship with Bill wasn't quite like that. It was something more complicated. Something only visionaries could understand. Bill was his muse. The star at the heart of his galaxy. The center of his universe and the source of all his knowledge, art, and passion. A wedding would be an insult to such devotion. No meaningless human ritual could possibly express what they had.
"Yeah, Sixer." Bill teased. Grabbing hold of Ford's arm and hanging on him playfully. Practically melting against him. "Where's my ring?" He whined. "I keep waiting."
Ford shoved his hand against Bill's face. Pushing him back. "Oh please. You could make a ring out of raw atoms better than anything I could do." He teased back.
Bill pressed his lips against Ford's palm and opened his mouth. Lapping up his digits and between his knuckles. Ford's chest tightened and his mind went blank as the slimy appendage coiled around his sixth finger and pulled into Bill's mouth. The entity gazed up at him adoringly as he sucked his finger. Ford let out a slow strangled wheeze. His heart lept up in his chest and he yanked his hand away. Shaking it frantically before pulling it under the table to wipe off Bill's spit on the tablecloth. He knew he must be redder than the communist manifesto by this point.
Bill laughed and leaned against him again. Drawing little circles on his chest with one hand. The other reached under the table to squeeze Ford's inner thigh.
"Not in front of my family." Ford whispered.
Bill's mouth didn't move but Ford could hear his voice echo in his head. "Don't pretend you don't like it Sixer. Don't be such a prude. We could put on a show for them. I'm sure they'd love it." Bill purred. "You're so cute when you're wailing and writhing like an animal."
Bill's mocking laughter bounced around the walls of Ford's skull and rung his head like a golden bell. No, no, no, no, no, please don't. He wouldn't? Not here. Please be joking.
"Well I can't say gold-digging is the most noble profession but I can't argue with results." Pa grumbled passively.
Ford and Bill both turned to face him. Bill's mouth disappeared. His wide eye now fixed on Ford's father. "What was that?" He asked. A rhetorical question emphasized by the large exaggerated ear that morphed out the side of his head. Bill cupped it with one hand and inflated his body to lean in and really get a listen to Pa's reply.
Pa shrugged and chewed a bite of his steak. "He's your house whore right?" He asked bluntly. "It's not an insult, just statin' the facts."
"Well, I think it's a fact your tongue would look better as a scarf." Bill replied simply. He shrunk back into his chair. The large rear receded as he snapped his fingers.
Pa's tongue shot impossibly far out of his mouth. Stretching further and further as it lashed out and coiled around his throat like a snake. Squeezing tighter and tighter till his bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets and his face went blue. The whole family screamed in horror as the room filled with the disgusting gurgling sounds of Pa struggling for air. Flailing wildly in his chair till it fell backward and cracked against the floor.
Ford shot up and violently shook Bill. "Bill stop! Stop it! You're going to kill him!" He screamed franticly. "This isn't how this was supposed to go!"
Bill groaned and rolled his eye. Holding up his hand primed to snap again but stalling. "This isn't how this was supposed to go." He muttered Ford's words back at him in a belittling whine. "You're so picky Sixer. Can't ever just settle for good enough can you?" He mocked.
"Isn't that the whole reason you chose me?" Ford shot back.
Bill looked back up at Ford thoughtfully. His eye combing him up and down for a moment before curling up in a playful smile. "Ya got me Sixer. Only the best for my favorite human."
Bill snapped his fingers and Pa reverted back to normal. Gasping for air and scrambling to get back. Grabbing the tablecloth and pulling himself over the table. His face, a patchwork of reds, blues, and purples.
"So, should we take it from the top?" Bill asked.
Ford watched his father anxiously. Once he knew he was ok he took a deep shaky breath. "Let's just go home." He replied flatly.
"Aw, so soon?" Bill whined teasingly.
"Yes, Bill." Ford replied sternly. "I want to go home." He insisted.
"Alright fine, if you insist." Bill replied nonchalantly. Getting up from his seat and summoning up his cane to leave.
Ford caught a glimpse of Stanley staring at him wide-eyed. The baby was crying. Ma and Shermie were all huddled around Pa making sure he was alright. Stanley only stared at Ford. Afraid sure, but something else… Like it was himself he was afraid for.
Bill snapped his fingers and the old house disappeared. All absorbed and distilled into a single small point in front of them. Ford had grown quite accustomed to watching space-time bend and distort around him. It wasn't new at this point. He looked at the small terrarium on his desk. Possibly one of the most normal things in his room. It looked like a normal glass case. Like one might keep lizards or fairies in. Instead of dirt and foliage or even a mushroom hut, however, the tank contained a strip of New Jersey. A single street leading all the way down to the beach.
Ford walked over and sat down at the desk. Folding his arms over it and resting his cheek on them dejectedly. Listening to the high-pitched distorted screams of his family inside as they argued with each other. He had plans to upgrade them all to a better tank in the future. He was ready yet. He wanted to get things right before he did so. I wanted that wonderful family reunion he'd always hoped for. To be able to come home and bring them all the good news before whisking them away to their dream home.
For the life of him, he just couldn't get it right.
"Don't look so glum Sixer. There's always tomorrow." Bill reassured. Placing a hand on his shoulder.
Ford sighed through his nose again. A melancholy sound he made far too often. The sound of resignation. He had the whole universe at his fingertips. He should be happy. These little setbacks shouldn't have left him feeling so empty.
"Yeah." Ford replied gruffly.
Bill wormed his hands down Ford's shoulders. Under his sweater and trailed his fingers along his collarbone. "Come on, let's head to bed and make some of those gross human sounds before I get comfy for the night." He offered.
Bill used his human form on and off. It wasn't his preferred state of being but he didn't mind wearing it for Ford's sake. An act of service, an expression of love. One Ford wasn't interested in at the moment.
"I'm not really in the mood." He dismissed. Waving Bill's hands away.
Bill pulled out his chair away from the desk and floated down into Ford's lap. Wrapping and arm around his shoulders. "I dunno what kind of mind games you're playing with these howler monkeys but I gotta commend you for the persistence." He laughed.
Ford wished he could explain. The thought of even attempting so however felt humiliating. Admitted that a part of him still missed his family despite all their faults. Still wanted their approval. He wanted to be welcomed home from his hero's journey. He wanted them to see all he could do for them. To love and adore him the way he adored Bill. Much as Ford loved Bill however those were emotions he didn't properly understand. If Bill knew what he wanted he would simply compel his family to act the way he wanted which would defeat the whole purpose. The whole point in having them here. It meant nothing if they didn't embrace him of their own accord.
"Thanks for being so understanding." Ford replied softly. Pushing the course blonde hair from Bill's face and planting a kiss on his forehead where the tip of the triangle met his hairline.
"Aw Fordsy you're making me blush." Bill teased. All the gold on his body shifting briefly to pink. Waving a limp wrist at him. "Now about those noises-" Bill hummed. Black tendrils sprouting from his back and coiling up Ford's body. Massaging every inch of him and exploring under his clothes. "I like that squelchy sound your insides make."
"Bill, I said I'm not in the mood." Ford tried to dismiss. Attempting to push Bill off only to gasp as his probing tendrils crept up his inner thighs under his pant legs. Another coiled around his throat. Teasing his Adam's apple as it slowly squeezed tighter and tighter. Forcing Ford to take gasping shallow breaths as he clawed at it.
"I can fix that." Bill chimed.