No-One But You (The Zephyr Endeavor) - Part 2
Chapter 27: MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Part 7)
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Wow. Okay, so now Weasel's punk-ass said…
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"Now that I think about it, he's a lot like you Wade…"
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"…but this guy paints really well though. He's filthy rich, he's super smart, he runs his own country, and he even plays the friggen piano dude…"
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"I'm low-key becoming attracted to this guy, I mean, have you seen him without his mask on?…"
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WHAT. THE. FUCK. Wade Wilson was so beyond over and done hearing anything about Mr. "Doctor" McDoom Victor Von Fuck-Stick…
OH, so he's smart and plays the piano? Who gives a shit. Ohhhhh, so he runs his own country and paints pretty pictures? Eat shit and die you ugly ape.
Wade wanted Doom to violently die and choke on all those sophisticated hors d'oeuvres that fancy people ate, and all that fucking caviar…
UGH. The mercenary left the balcony at some point, and he tossed his jump rope off somewhere just because everything was annoying him.
A bitter thought crossed his mind about the gigantic mess he made in the kitchen that morning, so the merc retraced his steps and made his way back to clean it up.
Did Professor DICK-TIP have servants to clean up after his bullshit for him? Wade was slowly becoming a super hater, but whatever, then he started scraping up all the dried pancake mix...
Wade was even wearing a cute little apron as he washed up the scene. He found one somewhere, then he put on his Deadpool mask too, just because. He didn't want anyone seeing how angry he was, and how upset he'd become…
I mean, the mercenary fucking hated being compared to anyone. It was the worst feeling in the world, and he never did that to anyone else. Things didn't feel fair for him at all that morning, so Wade decided to just clean up his mess.
He'd hate to pig up that lovely Airbnb and turn it into another "gutter rat" house, so…
WOW, his thoughts were mega negative. Wade just sulked within a bitter silence, then he got the sink all ready and full of boiling hot water. All the pots, pans, utensils and dishes were going to get a super hot bubble bath, and the notion of that was making Wade feel a little better.
Now, if only he had a rubber ducky with him… then he'd feel soooooo fine and dandy…
TCH. Yeah right. The mercenary checked his surroundings as he put some rubber gloves on over his hands, and he noticed that he wasn't technically alone. Ezekiel made his way out of the bedroom, and he quietly entered the kitchen just as Wade started cleaning.
The baby Jackal just watched him. He knew Wade was beyond upset, and now his face was covered up with his mask.
Only his face was hidden, and Ezekiel took a moment to truly inspect what was happening to the person in front of him. Wade was only wearing his sushi print boxers, rubber gloves, and an apron. The rest of him was completely exposed, and Ezekiel found himself staring for a long while…
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"You can't tell me what's happening without the Stalker Council being around… because you know I'm going to freak out and come unglued, correct?"
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Wade decided to speak first, cuz apparently that's just how things work. The mercenary had been trying to get himself out of some sort of "friend zone" with Ezekiel Stane for a long while.
It was fucking haaarrrddd to get him talking, but Wade's never asked him for shit. He's never pressured Ezekiel to do anything, say anything, or behave in any sort of way, so a lot of things between them just happened without a word being said.
It was friggen killing Wade, because he was the polar opposite. He always expressed what was on his mind, so a lot of times he just didn't understand…
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Uhmmaa… Ezekiel heard Wade loud and clear, and the baby Jackal kept his focus locked onto the steaming hot water. Wade was… cleaning, again, and clearing up his "mess." Ezekiel didn't want him taking anything to heart, but obviously that was happening whether he liked it or not.
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"That's correct. Yes…"
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Ezekiel could already see it. Wade would most likely enter a blind rage and try to kill Victor Von Doom, but the probability of that working out in his favor was slim. The Jackal didn't want to see it happen at all, actually, so he was doing his best to avoid the inevitable…
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"If I promise not to freak out, would you tell me what he did?"
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Wade could fuckkkkiiiinnnnggg tell that "Doctor" Dick-Tip did something earlier, but we've already gone over that fact a zillion times. Wade spoke as politely as he possibly could, and he absentmindedly scrubbed up the dishes that were overcrowding the sink.
Ezekiel froze up a little where he stood, because he couldn't imagine a scenario where Wade wouldn't freak out…
There's nooooooo fucking way he could ever explain what Victor Von Doom communicated to him without Wade losing his mind. It just….
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But, Ezekiel was trying to be in an actual relationship with Wade…so, communicating with him and including him was supposed to be the main goal in the long run… right?
The baby Jackal swallowed down a nerve or two, then he brought his arms up and over his stomach. Ezekiel crossed his arms just above his waist, and…
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"He's… Doom has been digging up information on you, and he's been expressing his opinions about… me. I was supposed to be this perfect person as I grew up, but I guess that's changed."
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Hmmmmm….
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Wade inwardly rejoiced to actually receive a response from Ezekiel, but the mercenary pondered what he heard in total silence. SO, the quiet coyote was no longer considered to be a "perfect person?" What in the actual fuck was that supposed to mean?
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"SOOOooo, you've been tainted by some filthy… gutter rat? Got it."
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Despite what people think, Wade Wilson wasn't a fucking moron. He met Ezekiel's delulu troll of a father back in the day too, remember?
Wade also looked into how badly Obadiah Stane needed his son to be smarter, faster, stronger, and simply betterrrrr than Tony Stark in every possible way.
The dude was super insane about it too, and now it all made perfect sense. Mr. Father of the fucking year secretly hired Doctor McFuck-Face Doom to teach Ezekiel how to be "superior" to Starknado, and just look how it all turned out…
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"He's telling me that I have reduced myself by being with you, yes. That's basically what he's been telling me, but I don't care what he thinks…"
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OH REALLYyyy… So, Ezekiel doesn't care what his super rich, super smart, private French tutor thinks? Ok. Wade soooooooooo friggen believed that. He actually rolled his eyes beneath his mask, cuz, yeah right.
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"That's funny. I don't care what he thinks either, and I'm going to fuck him up. So tell me, have you seen the man in the iron mask?"
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LOL. The man in the iron mask was the name of a movie, but Wade wanted to know if Ezekiel had ever seen the guy's fucking face…
He stopped washing the stupid dishes and he turned all of his focus in the baby Jackal's direction. Has he seen the guy beneath his mask or not, cuz Wade was dying to understand.
Ezekiel slowly closed his eyes and inwardly translated Wade's response. The man spoke in what seemed like riddles half the friggen time, so…
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"Are you asking me if I've seen his face? That actually matters to you?"
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"YES. It fucking matters to me, for reasons you obviously DON'T understand…"
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EZEKIEL DIDN'T KNOW JACK SHIT. Of course it fucking mattered. Wade wasn't always a guy who wore a mask, but now he did, and there was something to it when someone else could see what was happening underneath.
It was an exclusivity… thing. The fucking "Jackal" hid himself from the outside world as well, so he SHOULD KNOW. It wasn't rocket science.
Ughhhhhhh. Wade just felt so beyond the level of angry. He tossed the sponge from one sink to the other, then emotionally he just gave up.
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Fuck it….
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Chapter: END
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