5th chapter
Caroline stared at the photo on the table, that was barely illuminated by the candle. She sat on the couch, on leg upright on the couch and her head rested on top of her knee. The lighter was right next to the photo and she glanced from one object to the other. She truly wanted to burn the photo, probably a try to erase her memory as well. But she couldn't, something was stopping her and she didn't know what. The tears subsided hours ago and by then she believed she ran dry, she felt tired but her mind wouldn't let her sleep. The memories stirred in her head and she wondered what she did wrong, what she did to make him change. She wondered if she could turn back the time, if she could change the past, would he still be the man she fell in love with.
Her eyes wandered around the room, taking in the few details she could notice in the dark. It was already 11pm, she should be in her bed already but she didn't find the strength to stand up. Caroline looked at the fireplace and she wondered if she could put it on at the weekend. She loved the sound the wood made and the warmth of the fire had always a soothing effect on her. A deep sigh left her throat as she lowered her leg, she leant back on the couch, her head resting on the backrest as she mustered the ceiling. It was too dark for her to see anything but she didn't mind.
After another ten minutes, she finally managed to get up. She put out the candle and used the light of her mobile phone to get to the bedroom. She changed in her pajamas and cradled into the bed. When she snuggled into the comfy mattress with the fluffy blanket covering her, she stared into the void. Suddenly she realized, that all of that was foreshadowing when her 'little gift' warned her about a young coworker starting in John's company. The woman gulped at the thought, wondering why she didn't question or interfere in the last months. She should have questioned his constant absence, his longer shifts and weekend work, but she was blind.
Slowly she turned to the side and her eyes wandered to the small window. She could see the stars in the sky, while a last single tear made its way down onto the pillow, before sleep took over.
When the alarm went off, Caroline groggily opened her eyes. She groaned and turned to the other side, the lack of sleep paying its toll. She finally turned back and turned off the alarm on her phone. She let out an extensive yawn when she sat up, her hair was messy and she had dark circles under her eyes. Half asleep, she stumbled to the bathroom. Caroline took a long shower as she didn't want to leave the secure feeling she got, from the warm water running down her skin. When she was finally done and stepped into the living room, her eyes darted to the table and the photo on it. Immediately, she felt as if all air was pressed out of her lungs. The realization from yesterday's events made its way back into her mind. Caroline desperately tried to bite back the nagging feeling and forced her attention to the sandwich she was currently making. While putting butter on the bread, she couldn't help it but glance over the kitchen counter to the table. Since the kitchen and living room where in the same room, there was no chance avoiding it.
The ease she felt yesterday in the morning, was gone, as Caroline slowly walked to her workplace. She hoped that there were more emails and even some phone calls, so her mind would be busy. Luck was on her side, partly. For a few hours, she was constantly getting emails, even the phone rang two times, even though it was only for advertising offers. Once she was done answering emails and checking the received payments of the future tour guests, she took a closer look on the tours and the calendar. She noticed that those bookable tours where held every Tuesday and Thursday, though she also saw a few entries in the calendar on Mondays. The title was always the same 'internal affairs'. There was no description what happened on those Mondays, but as it seemed, there was no outsiders allowed on those days. With a frown, Caroline looked at those dates, she probably had to ask Heidi, what was so special about those.
During her break, Caroline swiped through her phone. She changed her background photo to some standard green-colored theme and for a moment she even thought about blocking John's number. Her thumb hovered over the field but she couldn't do it. A low sob left her throat, when she thought about his words, yesterday. He repeated, that she didn't deserve that and that he was sorry, but she wondered, how he could say such things after what he had done. All those empty words he told her, it meant nothing to him. Slowly anger started to build in the woman. How long would he have that chick on the side, if she never left, she wondered. How long did he pretend to love her, when he was actually done with her? He probably just needed someone to clean the flat and cook for him.
Caroline clenched her jaw at those thoughts and her eyes narrowed slightly. Some might say, she shouldn't hate the woman, but the man that cheated, but Caroline was sure, that she knew full-well that he had a girlfriend. She was at his company once or twice, so at least some of his co-workers knew her, she must have known. The woman closed her eyes and started to breathe deep and slowly. She redirected her thoughts to her current job, one she has had for a few days only and since she had no family waiting for her, she could start anew. Caroline opened her eyes once more, she would try to build a new life here, in another country, far away from everything she knew. Just before her break was over, she made a promise to herself. That evening, she would go out and explore Volterra a bit and tomorrow she could possibly take a look at the library, Heidi showed her. Her lips formed into a small smile and she started to feel proud about herself.
Caroline put her phone into her bag and turned her attention back to the computer in front of her. John was just a man, it definitely needed more than a man to ruin her life. She was strong, she was independent and she would most certainly not mourn a disloyal douche. She could honestly be thankful, that she got the job there, otherwise she might have married that man or she would have been out on the streets, as she had nothing. Caroline let out another deep sigh. She finally had something of her own, she made her own money and she would start anew.
By thinking of her job, a cold shiver ran down her spine; her thoughts were back at the scene in the restroom yesterday. What if that man did report her disobedience to the masters? Would she be allowed to continue her work or would she be fired? Her eyes glided aimlessly over her desk as another thought hit her and she widened her eyes in realization. Aro mentioned, that knowing their secret was forbidden, she wasn't allowed to tell anyone, so they would never fire her and risk that she might run around and spread the news of the existence of vampires. Suddenly, she felt a heavy burden on her shoulders. She had to carry a secret so severe and no one to talk about it. They wouldn't fire her, they would drain her, kill her, erase her being from existence and no one would bat an eye.
As soon as her shift was over, she quickly went back to her room. She changed in some warmer clothes, picked her warm jacket and left again with her bag around her shoulders. Caroline didn't eye the photo once. She walked past her desk and through the entrance door. She got a key from Heidi before she left, so she could properly lock the door from any intruder. After she made sure, that no one could walk in, she breathed in the cold winter air. With slow steps, she made her way over the plaza, she stopped once in a while in front of a small shop and took in the beauty the city had to offer. One shop was of particular interest to her, it was just a small one and already closed, but it was beautiful. It was an alabaster workshop and behind the two huge windows, several hand-crafted figures and other art works where shown. She deeply wished, she could speak Italian, so she could visit a workshop and learn more about that kind of art.
After a while she continued her walk, she had no comparison but she thought it was a lively Thursday evening for such a small city. There were barely any empty tables at the cafés or restaurants, she saw happy people all around her, busying themselves to get somewhere or just enjoy an evening with friends and family. Through all those busy people, Caroline completely overlooked the huge Christmas tree that was centered in the middle of the plaza, it was mostly coated in white baubles and an equally colored star on top of it. A sad smile spread on Caroline's face as she got reminded, that she would spend Christmas all on her own for the first time in her life. A shaky sigh left her lips as she turned away.
The woman quickly continued her stroll to get herself distracted and soon she found herself in of the side streets. As the wind rushed through, she pulled her jacket closer around her and she shivered slightly. Her eyes wandered from a store, to a restaurant and finally to a small ice-cream shop. She lifted her eyebrows as she noticed the people in there, enjoying their ice cream, while she almost froze to death outside. But it was common knowledge, that Italians were famous for their ice cream, so without thinking further, she went in.
As Caroline pushed the door open, the warmth immediately hit her face and the little bell on top of the entrance began to toll. The door slowly closed behind her and she heard the lively chatter of the other people around, completely lost in their discussions and not minding her at all. The woman went to the counter and looked at the different kind of ice-cream the shop offered.
"Buonasera." Caroline looked up and saw a middle-aged man behind the counter, that smiled friendly at her. He had short black hair and an equally dark moustache. He eyed Caroline expectantly as he cleaned his wet hands with a towel. "Buonasera," she answered lowly, trying to imitate his pronunciation, but he probably could tell immediately that she wasn't Italian. Caroline switched her attention back to the boxes of ice-cream and back to the man again; a slightly insecure smile on her face. "May I get two portions of ice cream, one pistachio and one vanilla in a cup, per favore?" She held out two fingers to clarify her order, as she didn't know how well the man understood her.
He looked from her to the boxes and took a cup next to him. "But of course," he answered in a heavy accent and prepared her order. "Voilà." He put her order on the counter and nodded slightly in her direction. Caroline put some money on the counter, thankfully the prices were written next to the boxes, so she knew how much she owed him. When he was about the get her change, she just shook her head. "Keep the change." Carefully she took the cup in her hand. "Grazie," Caroline added and with that, she used all the Italian she knew. As she turned to find an empty table, she heard the man mumble a low response. "Prego."
Caroline found a table in a corner in the back of the shop. She stripped off her coat and placed it on the empty seat next to her. She tasted the vanilla ice cream first and immediately knew why Italy was famous for it. It tasted heavenly, nothing like she ever tasted before, though it was a bit different, but for the better. It was getting darker outside and she watched the other people around her. Laughter and happy chatting filled her ears, a bit louder than she was used to at home, but she didn't mind. A small smile formed on her lips and she enjoyed the relaxing atmosphere. As she finished, she stood up again, once she wore her coat properly, she put her empty cup back on the counter. After exchanging quick words of appreciation, she finally left the shop.
The cold air hit her hard and she shivered slightly. She planned to continue her stroll to get something proper to eat that evening, but as it got colder by any minute, she decided to rather get back to her room. She could make herself some pasta or just eat a few fruits as dinner. Luckily, she didn't go far in the first place, so she returned to the front door after ten minutes. With shivering-cold hands she unlocked the door and stepped into the castle. As soon as she closed the door behind her, she locked it again and rubbed her hands together to warm them up on her way back to her room.