CHAPTER 4
The return
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As Anakin and Padmé arrive at Padmés mansion Padmé leans against the railing. "When I was younger I used to come here for retreat before I was queen that was." Padmé says softly they both caress each other softly it slowly escalates as they both lean in for a kiss it lasts for a few seconds before Padmé pulls back. "I shouldn't have done that, we can't be together." Padmé says in her soft tone although she is softer than usual. "I'm sorry when I'm with you I feel something I can't explain." Anakin apologises pain in his voice. "I'm the one that should be sorry I started it, don't blame yourself, I just wish." Padmé stops herself, that would be inappropriate, they could never be together, she's a sith he's a Jedi, it couldn't happen. As the day rolled on they were coming down for dinner. "Anakin, could you teach me the force?" Padmé asked kindly, she already knew how to use the force but she could do with knowing the light side right? As long as Sidious didn't find out everything would be fine. "I'm not sure about that. I don't even know if you have the force for a start." Anakin said trying to be nice the likelihood she had it and wasn't a Jedi was improbable. "Well for a start I did a midichlorian test and it said I had twenty five thousand. I'm not sure if that's enough?" Anakin looked shocked. "I'm sorry but I don't believe you that can't be possible, that's almost as high as mine. I'm sorry but I'll excuse myself. I will be back." Anakin came back a few minutes later with a bar with a screen on it. "If you wouldn't mind, can I test you for it?" Anakin said as nice as he could, it was clear he didn't believe Padmé. She nodded and as Anakin injected it into a vein and got the reading he looked even more shocked than before. "Twenty Four thousand nine hundred and eighty two. That can't be possible that must mean Qui-Gon was wrong maybey the chosen one prophecy isn't real. Please don't tell the masters if it's not real I may be removed from the order." Anakin said it was clear he was nervous. "Of course I wouldn't tell them Annie but can you teach me now that you know I can use the force?" Padme asked calmly. "Ok i can do it tomorrow, I know this may sound odd but for your protection can i sleep with you or near you." Padmé held back a scowl, she wasn't a defenseless child anymore but she had to keep up the ruse. "That's fine."
As Padmé and Anakin slept together another nightmare took over Anakin. "MOM NO DON'T DIE ON ME!" He screamed in terror before waking to yet again a frightened Padmé who almost called for her lightsaber from her bag. "Anakin, are you sure these dreams aren't visions? I hear that's something Jedi have." Padmé asked, trying to help him if it really was a vision his mother was in danger. "I think it might be, can we please go to Tatooine." Anakin begged Padmé was hesitant she wanted to save Anakin's mom but it wasn't a vision and they went there and she was fine, they broke orders for no reason. "I think we should just leave your tracker here so Obi-Wan won't know." Padmé gave in because she cared about Anakin too much, he saved her planet and postponed the galactic civil war by years and was attra-. She couldn't think about that he was a Jedi she was- Padmé didnt like thinking about that, force forbid she killed people her own parents! "Padmé are you ok you look very pale." Anakin said with a caring tone. "Yes im ok but we should probably go because it seems urgent.
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Hyperspace
"Can you teach me now?" Padmé asked this time it was clear she was getting impatient. "Of course I just want to tell you dont give into fear or hate or anger. I have done it many times you lose yourself in the power. I shouldn't have told you that, did I scare you?." Anakin swore to himself he gave too much away, how could he have done that he trusted Padmé but what if she hated him for having things to do with the darkside. "Of course not, I have had similar things happen to me." Padmé paused debating whether to tell him before finally telling. "I asked you about learning the force because when i was on a secret diplomatic mission to the trade federation i got so angry i killed everyone it felt so good choking them out with my fist there limp bodys dropping to the ground there lifeless faces i loved every second of it. I killed Annie and I got away with it. I want to control my powers so i don't do that again." Parts of that were a lie she couldn't reveal. "You're joking right, it wasn't very funny." Anakin said disapprovingly. Padmé scowled, she trusted him with this and he thought she was lying. "I'm not kriffing lying if I don't do that. Unlike most politicians I have a moral compass. I can only channel the force through the emotions you mentioned before." Padmé let down her cloaking shields and lifted a piece of cutlery with the force and crushed it by closing her fist. The darkside permeated the ship. "You think I'm lying now. I trusted you just for you to believe me. I hope you do now." Padmés anger settled for now. "I'm sorry I should have trusted you, it just seemed so unlike you. Your kind caring loving and a peace lover I just couldn't see you doing that." Padmé could understand he had a fantasy of who she really was it made her sad she had just shattered his illusion of her in a few words. Anakin was shaken to say the least a dark side user in the senate, it was illegal to use the dark side. He reminded himself she wasn't evil, they almost committed on her people, she had a reason to do it. "Think whatever you want of me if you think I'm evil I can live with that I'm a terrible person for doing that." Padmé held back from telling him about the other things she had done. The dark side changed her irreversibly.
"You are perfect the way you are" Anakin said while rubbing her back, his eyes locked onto hers. By now Padmé had gotten used to the staring but the physical affection he was showing was making her break down into tears. It had been years that someone who even partially knew what she did who wasn't memory wiped, and more importantly accepted her, even her own parents wished death on her after finding out. "Padmé are you ok?" Anakin questioned. Before Anakin could do anything Padmé embraced him. Anakin felt a faint force bond form between him and Padmé. He sent faint messages of love and reassurement through the bond. Padmé held Anakin harder near to the point of discomfort to him. "I love you." Padmé spoke softly and slowly released him from her surprisingly strong grasp. "I can teach you now if that would make you feel any better." Padmé slowly nodded it would certainly distract her from the strong emotions that she was feeling. "The first thing we want to do is get into mediation. It will help you strengthen our connection the the light side although it will not necessarily dampen your dike side connection. The first step is sit down and connect to the positive emotions that are in your mind and let it seep through you." Anakin said trying to simplify it as much as possible without losing details. Padmé sat down in her normal meditation position and focused on herself, it was hard not to focus on the dark side as it was very tempting to give into. Anakin was surprised that she just went into it before asking questions or for a demonstration. Padmé slowly focused on her compassion and joy. Slowly she lifted herself into the air and the items around her began levitating. Anakin was in complete shock. It took him months before he could master Meditation but somehow Padmé was doing it like a natural. It was almost as if she had some pre existing knowledge on how to meditate. She was radiating great amounts of light side energy for someone who had just used the darkside. Maybey she barely knew how to use it and was just able to tap into it as her Midiclorian count was high. Or even. Anakin cut his thoughts off no she wouldn't be asking for force training if she already had proper training.
Padmé could feel the light energy bouncing around the area her body was vibrating with power she hadn't felt before it was foreign but familiar. She was surrounded with thoughts of joy when the power finally subsided and she snapped out of her meditation. Anakin was staring in shock. "How did you do that with such ease it was almost as if you had done this before." Padmé scrambled for an answer if she said she had done something similar it would only warrant more questions. "It just felt natural. I just fixated on my Joy and Compassion and I channeled them through me. I'm not sure how to explain it." Padmé explained seemingly to the best of her ability. "I assume since you know some, well dark side techniques that you would be able to understand how to do the reverse." Anakin explained plainly. "And how would you know it's the reverse? I thought it was forbidden for a Jedi to use the dark side." Anakin froze up despite the obvious answer of being taught that he did have times where it took him over. "I was young and well, a slave was going to sell us because Jedi slaves are sought after. I never wanted to be a slave again so rage took over. I ripped his body to pieces with the force while Master was passed out and I couldn't control myself. I killed them all like they were animals. I freed the slaves but they were terrified of me, one of them." Anakin paused, he was clearly distressed telling this story, unlike Padmé. Anakin wasn't accustomed to the dark side. "He punched me and called me a savage so I killed him the rest of the slaves fought against me so i killed them as well, i brought master back to our ship and i left and know one knew what i did i'm sure that if they found out i would have been expelled from the order." Padmé wasn't surprised for someone who joined the order so late it was expected that he had some dabilings in the dark side but this didn't surprise her. Sidious told her about how Anakin almost killed another Jedi out of rage. She tried to say something but she was at a loss for words on how she was supposed to respond. "I'm sure that you didn't mean to do this, it sounds like the dark side took you over." Padmé finally spoke, hoping to give Anakin an out, she knew the dark side didn't work like that but it made her sad to hear Anakin recite it. "No, it's worse. I did it because I loved it. I loved the feeling of killing. It just made me feel satisfied to let out my anger. I never get to do that. Never." Anakin let out honestly. But before Padmé could say anything the starship left hyperspace.