If you need to refresh your memory on this story, you can now see episode summaries here - wiki/Revenge_of_the_Island_27-Cast_Rewrite
Last time, on Revenge of the Island! I treated the campers to a nice, relaxing spa day - whether they liked it or not. Most couldn't take the heat. Eventually, the Maggots won using some questionable tactics. Meanwhile, the boys of the island had to be taken to romance's school of hard knocks. Jasmine told Shawn that their bond might be a liability. Dave turned into a brooding pessimist after Sky rejected him. And Rodney falsely thought Scarlett had a crush on him, and his bumbling attempts to impress her led to his elimination… after a bit of prodding from Scott and Sam. It's always fun to see people get physically injured but it's a whole other level of pain to go straight for the heart! Who will have their faith in humanity ruined next? Find out right here, on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!
Intro plays.
The episode opens with Cameron wandering the morning forest, his eyes keenly scanning the surroundings as he takes notes on the mutated flora and fauna. He examines a misshapen bush with blackened leaves, only for a two-headed rabbit with the body of a sparrow to flit out.
"Fascinating…" Cameron pens his observations down onto his notepad.
CAMERON CONFESSIONAL: This island is a fascinating enclosed microcosm of unique genetic mutations. We could really learn a lot about life and biology if this island was handed over to the proper scientific authorities. But instead, we're filming a reality TV competition on it. (he sighs).
Cameron continues through the forest, where he comes across another living thing: Dakota. She's making slow, laborious work digging up some of the Toxic barrels buried underneath the surface. Her Malibu lifestyle clearly did not accustom her to demanding physical labor.
"Dakota… what are you doing?" Cameron inquires.
Dakota looks up, momentarily bewildered. "Oh! Hey… you..." Dakota clearly does not have any idea who the person in front of her is, despite this person knowing her name.
"...Cameron."
"Uhh… yeah…"
"... I'm a contestant. On the show."
"Oh, right, you're the one Chris calls 'pipsqueak'!"
Cameron bristles slightly. "Hey! I'm not that short. You're just taller than me, that's all." Cameron adjusts his glasses. Something about Dakota seems off. "How tall ARE you, by the way?"
"Five-foot-nine. Supermodel material, for sure!" Dakota boasts, flipping her hair.
"When's the last time you checked that?"
"I don't know. Daddy just tells me all this stuff. He keeps track of my BMI."
"That's… weird… but then again, my mother kept me in a hermetic bubble, so I'm in no place to judge." Cameron pauses, squinting at Dakota. "But still, I would check your height. It appears to have been augmented in some way."
Dakota instinctively places a hand on her head as if to gauge her height by touch. "Why? Am I shrinking?"
"Quite the opposite, actually. I would estimate you're roughly six feet tall now, or 1.80 meters."
"Six feet!?" Dakota's eyes widen in alarm. "That's too much! I want to be a supermodel, not a basketball player!"
"Ask Jasmine about it. She's even taller than that."
"Okay." Dakota pauses, clearly having no idea who Jasmine is, either.
"The Australian one. With the tan hat and ponytail," Cameron explains, slightly exasperated.
"Oh, okay," Dakota nods. "Chris just calls her 'Shrimp on the Barbie' in an Australian accent." Dakota says 'Shrimp in the Barbie' with an exaggerated Aussie twang to illustrate Chris' mockery of an entire country.
Cameron rolls his eyes. "Is there any nickname Chris has that isn't extremely insensitive?"
Dakota pauses to think, her expression reflecting genuine contemplation before she responds, "No. I don't think so."
Sky sits on her bunk, staring thoughtfully at the empty space beside her, where Jo's bunk usually is. She finally speaks up. "Jo always gets up so early."
Anne Maria snorts. "Good. The less I have to see of blondie, the better."
Sky raises an eyebrow, surprised. "You don't like her?"
Anne Maria responds with a shrug. "Don't act surprised. None of us like her. Even Ella doesn't like her." Ella looks away, ashamed of her animosity, but says nothing to deny it.
"But she wins us challenges," Sky argues.
"And loses them, too. Don't you remember when she let us all get picked off by that giant spider whatever?" Anne Maria retorts.
"But she keeps this team moving forward," Sky insists. "We've won more challenges than the Rats, and she's one of the reasons why."
Anne Maria rolls her eyes. "It's two versus one, toots," she says, defaulting to majority rule instead of offering a counterargument.
Ella chimes in. "Didn't you see how she used cruelty to win the last challenge?"
"It's unethical, but…" Sky looks around for support. "What about you, Zoey?" She pulls Zoey, who had been absorbed in writing in her diary, into the debate.
Zoey looks up, clearly uncomfortable. "Oh. Uh, I really don't want to get in the middle of this." She forces a smile to assert her genial neutrality.
Sky presses on. "Who do you think is our best player, then?"
Without thinking, Zoey blurts out, "Mike." She quickly corrects herself. "Uh, wait, I mean, we're all good at… contributing."
Anne Maria scoffs. "Mike? That kid's a toothpick. I've seen more meat in a vegetarian restaurant."
Sky is quick to see Zoey is looking at Mike through rose-tinted glasses. "Don't think this reality show is just for hooking up. Just look at—" She trails off, not quite finishing her thought.
Zoey quickly defends Mike. "Mike is not like Dave."
Anne Maria cuts her off. "Nah, that kid's a basket case. I heard him yelling one time at night. I went out and he was just screaming at nothing. Just yelling into the forest. Then he started crying."
"Aww, poor guy," Zoey says sympathetically.
Anne Maria dismisses it with a wave of her hand. "No, dangerous guy. All those sweet, sensitive guys are full of baloney. Trust me, him and Dave are two sides of the same coin." She pauses, then adds, "Just get yourself a guy who never shares his emotions ever and you'll be all set."
"That sounds like terrible advice," Sky counters.
Anne Maria shrugs, uninterested. "Eh," she says, brushing it off as she files her nails.
Sky takes the opportunity to clarify. "I think what Anne Maria means is that you're not some dream girl who can fix all his problems. Don't be his therapist."
"Yeah," Anne Maria says. "Like Ella and Brick."
"Hey!" Ella protests. "Brick just needs a little help sometimes. Besides, his insecurities aren't THAT complicated."
A silence follows as the other girls avert their gaze and try not to burst Ella's delusion.
In the mess hall, Jasmine sits with her teammates—Samantha, Dawn, Topher, and Lightning. In the midst of the clatter of trays and the drone of conversation, Dakota approaches, her face marked by worry.
"Hi… Jasmine, right?" Dakota asks as she looks around nervously.
"Yeah, that's me. What's up?" Jasmine glances up from her plate.
Dakota hesitates, her fingers nervously twisting her sleeve. "Well, I think I might be getting taller, and… honestly, I don't know how to handle it."
"Being tall isn't so bad," Jasmine responds. "Sure, you might bump your head on door frames and make a few people insecure, but it can be empowering. Why are you worried?"
Dakota shifts uneasily, her eyes darting. "I don't know. My daddy says girls aren't supposed to be taller than boys."
Jasmine offers a reassuring smile. "You shouldn't feel insecure about your height. Look at Eliza Sigoneroo St. Clair—she's 6 foot 3 and is considered Australia's crown jewel!"
"Huh?"
Jasmine's enthusiasm is palpable. "You don't know Eliza Sigoneroo St. Clair? From the hit show 'Sticky Wickets'? The cut-throat world of international cricket?"
Topher, who has been listening quietly, chimes in with a smirk. "Why would anyone watch a show about cricket? It's like watching a movie about—"
"Badminton?" Samantha interrupts, her tone full of sarcasm. "And then using that to build enough celebrity around yourself that you get a cushy job hosting a reality show where you torture kids?"
"Sha-burn!" Lightning grins at the insult before confusion takes over. "Uh, wait, who are we talking about?"
SAMANTHA CONFESSIONAL: Does anyone else find it weird that Dakota grew at least two inches in, what, like a couple weeks? People don't grow that fast, do they?
DAWN CONFESSIONAL: There is a deep sense of dissonance within Dakota's corporeal form. It does not resemble anything that the Earth would normally permit in one of its creatures.
The doors to the mess hall burst open, and Chris strides in with a beaming smile, radiating sunny optimism. "What a beautiful day it is today!" he announces, his cheerful demeanor met with silence, save for the faint sound of someone retching at the breakfast options.
"So true!" Topher finally chimes in, his enthusiasm a stark contrast to the others.
"Thank you, Topher, I knew I could count on you," Chris responds, clearly delighted.
Scott, unamused, sneers. "Why are you in such a good mood?"
"More like, why are YOU in such a bad mood?" Chris counters, a smirk playing on his lips.
"He's got you there," Shawn admits.
"I'm in such a good mood because I'm a big fan of today's challenge," Chris declares with a flourish.
"Oh, great, that means it's gonna be something really brutal," Sky groans.
"Close, but no," Chris says with a grin. "What's the one thing I love more than tormenting teenagers?"
There's a pause. Jo, ever quick with a quip, takes a jab at Chris' ego. "Yourself?" she jokes.
"Bingo!" Chris confirms, clearly pleased with himself. "Today's challenge is all about ME. Yours truly. The host with the most, the presenter with the… um…"
"Shopping center?" Dakota suggests.
"Accentor?" Cameron adds. "It's a small Eurasian songbird similar to the sparrow."
Neither of these non-sequitur rhymes seems to satisfy Chris. "Uh, yeah, no. I don't have any birds, and the McLean-brand shopping center got closed after an outbreak of cholera."
A couple people wince at the mention of the unpleasant disease. Chris is quick to change the subject. "Anywho, today's challenge is a classic camp competition- a trivia game. The questions will be about me, past seasons, or whatever else our interns - I mean, I - could come up with."
CAMERON CONFESSIONAL: Finally, a challenge where sheer literacy is tested! Though I haven't read any books on Chris…
TOPHER CONFESSIONAL: I know so much about Chris McClean so much that I lobbied a local university to recognize it as an official academic field of study. I called it Christianity! Turns out that name was taken.
The episode transitions to a stage where Chris stands center in a tuxedo, looking every bit the extravagant showman. On either side of him are long podiums, color-coded for each team. The contestants file in.
"Welcome, brainiacs!" Chris announces. The contestants stare back blankly. Lightning admires his muscles. Sam picks his nose.
"This challenge is simple," Chris continues, unfazed. "When I ask a question, consult with your team and write down your team's answer on a whiteboard. When time runs out, hold up your answer. Answer a question right, get a point. The team with the most points wins. The team that loses will have one less member this time tomorrow. Any questions?"
Lightning slams his hand down on the table, as if buzzing in. "False! Uh, I mean, true!"
Chris ignores this. "No questions, good. Let's get started." He dramatically pulls a card from his inside pocket. "What is Chris McLean's middle name?" He pauses. "That's me. I am Chris McLean. The one and only."
"Easy!" Topher declares confidently and whispers something to his team.
Jo, visibly frustrated, mutters, "Come on, they've got Chris Junior over there. That's not fair!"
"Since when do you care about fair, blondie?" Anne Maria jabs back.
"There is no fairness," Dave states ominously. "The only truly fair thing in life in the uniting inevitably of d-"
"TIME!" Chris cuts him off, raising his hand in a dramatic stop gesture. "Show your boards!"
Topher proudly holds up his team's board, "Bartholomew" written in neat block letters.
"Correct! And it's even spelled correctly!" Chris proclaims. "Maggots! You got anything?"
Amidst the bickering and disarray, no one on the Maggots' team has written anything down. Zoey shrugs, looking sheepish. "No… guess not."
"Easy first point for the Rats, then," Chris responds.
SHAWN CONFESSIONAL: What is going on? I thought we were the stabler, stronger, more unified team. Now we're acting like a bunch of kindergarteners.
"Question two," Chris continues. "Where was Chris McLean's, i.e. me, boy band 'Fametown' based out of?"
The Toxic Rats immediately defer to Topher, who's already scribbling something down. "Hey Chris, when does the challenge begin?" he quips, clearly finding the 'challenge' to be completely unchallenging.
The Maggots, however, struggle to come up with an answer.
"I don't know… Edmonton? Calgary? Toronto?" Mike throws out random Canadian cities as guesses.
"Wait, I've got it," Jo says with a smirk, writing down 'Canada' on their board.
"Brilliant," Dave deadpans, clearly not actually impressed.
"And, TIME!" Chris declares. He looks at Topher's board. "Right again! The answer is, in fact, Los Angeles!"
"Los Angeles?" Jo groans, frustration clear in her voice. "That's not even in Canada!"
"Your stupid trick didn't work, Jo," Anne Maria jabs, her tone dripping with disdain. She emphasizes 'Jo' with particular venom.
"Oh, cram it, Annie," Jo retorts with a simple but purposeful butchering of Anne Maria's name.
Anne Maria's face flushes red with anger. "Excuse me?" she snaps. "My name is Andrea Maria Carmela DeAngelis Boninsegna, and you better not call me some little girl name like 'Annie.'"
"Strike a nerve, didn't I, Annie?" Jo smirks, clearly enjoying the discord she's stirred up. Anne Maria's fury bubbles over, and she lunges at Jo, the two of them crashing to the ground in a tangle of flailing limbs and shouts.
Chris watches with bemusement. "Yeesh, we're only two questions in," he remarks. "Not looking good for the Maggots."
CAMERON CONFESSIONAL: Annie? ANNIE? [his voice cracks.] I've heard Jo call Anne Maria way worse things to her face and this is what sets her off? Human psychology is complicated.
SKY CONFESSIONAL: First Sugar, now Jo. Anne Maria is constantly starting petty fights with people! My teammates will blame Jo but I refuse to believe that Anne Maria offers more to the team than Jo. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is. You've got to be tough.
"Question three," Chris announces, flipping to the next card. "What Native American tribe originally inhabited Muskoka?" He pauses, eyeing the card. "Okay, this question isn't about me. Who wrote this?"
Anne Maria gets up from the ground and brushes dirt out of her hair. "Sky would know." She states. "She's a native American or whatevah."
Sky, who was exasperated with her overly testy teammates, suddenly found herself in a position where her own patience was tested. She balls her hands in tense fists but tries to remain steady. "Anne Maria," she says, her voice wavering. "Just because I'm Cree does not mean I know everything about every-"
"—Done!" Cameron interjects, holding up a board with 'Ojibwe' written on it.
"That's… I think that's right, actually," Sky confirms, pleased with Cameron's knowledge.
"Turn your boards around!" Chris commands. The Rats' board is blank. Topher merely shrugs. "And that's one point to the Maggots!"
"Finally," Jo mutters, sounding more annoyed than relieved.
"Question four," Chris reads. His eyes glance over the question, clearly displeased. "...what is this, history class? Where are all the 'me' questions?"
"Well, what's it say?" Brick asks.
"Who led the Red River and North-West rebellions in the 19th century?" Chris reads the question with a mocking disinterest. "Who cares? Some dead guy." He chucks the question behind him.
"Wait!" Jo protests. "You can't just ask questions about yourself. Then Topher is just going to get all of them right!"
"Good," Chris responds. "We should reward the knowledgeable among us."
"Aren't you forgetting that he stole from your trailer?" Jo points out.
Chris's face contorts in contempt as he remembers the incident. "Oh, yeah. Tough luck, Topher. Looks like you should have brushed up on Canadian history instead."
"Hey, what? But I'm your biggest fan!" Topher protests.
Chris retrieves the card he tossed. "That's what my stalker said," Chris responds. "Then they took a couple of pot shots at some politician, so now they're in an asylum or something."
"Uh…" Topher is left speechless at that bizarre anecdote.
"Who led the Red River and North-West rebellions in the 19th century?" Chris repeats, keeping the conversation moving.
Samantha glanced around at her team. "So, does anyone know the answer?" she asks. Only silence follows.
Sam turns to Scarlett, the most knowledgeable among them. "Scarlett?" he prompts.
Scarlett pushes up her glasses. "I believe the answer is Louis Riel," she said calmly.
Sam's eyes light up with recognition. "Yeah… I remember that name from class now… that sounds right."
On the Mutant Maggots' side, Cameron has already started writing the answer on their board. "That would be Louis Riel, who attempted to protect the Métis!" he declares confidently, yet keeping his voice at a whisper so as to not alert the other team.
Shawn commends Cameron's skill. "If these questions continue to be actual trivia questions instead of an ego trip for Chris, we've really got an ace in the hole with Cameron!"
CAMERON CONFESSIONAL: It's great to finally feel valued. I thought people would just see me as weak, and target me early on, but it turns out book smarts are as valuable as street smarts!
SCARLETT CONFESSIONAL: I wouldn't have bothered answering the question until Sam asked me directly. I need the team to see me as valuable. If I didn't answer, their perception of me as 'the smart one' would crack.
Chris flips through the questions, removing all the ones about himself. "No, no, no…" he tosses the cards behind him and they flutter to the ground.
Topher watches in disbelief. "You can't change the challenge at the last minute!" he protests.
Chris barely glances up. "I'm not changing it because of you… I just want everyone to know how humble I am. I'm the humblest man to ever live."
Lightning, never one to miss a chance to assert his dominance, flexes. "After LIGHTNING, of course! Sha-humble!" he exclaims, grinning ear to ear.
"...Here we go," Chris finally says, pulling out a card with some satisfaction. "What was the movie theme for the second Total Drama Action episode?"
Anne Maria crosses her arms, clearly uninterested. "I never watched that."
"I only watched the singing episodes," Ella adds.
Anne Maria grins. "Yeah, girl, you get it!"
Shawn is incredulous at his teammates' willful ignorance of the show they're on. "You guys seriously haven't even watched the whole show?"
"Shut up, Shawn," Anne Maria snaps back, not in the mood for his judgment.
Mike, seeing the clock ticking down, urges his team into action. "Well, someone write something down!"
"I remember a giant monster thing," Brick offers, though his uncertainty is clear. He quickly scribbles something down on the whiteboard.
A bell dings. "Time!" says Chris. "The answer was… alien movies!"
Zoey furrows her brow. "Godzilla's an alien, right?"
Sam shakes his head with a chuckle. "Heh, no way. He came from toxic radiation." His smug smile drops. "Kind of like the radiation around here…"
Chris waves off the concern with a casual grin. "Don't worry about it. Your team gets a point."
Sam grins, relieved. "Sweet."
"Yeah, that's just fantasy." Chris confirms. A distant rumble echoes in the background. Chris shrugs it off. "...Probably. Moving on… next question! In which episode do contestants climb the Statue of Liberty?"
"Isn't that just the New York one?" Scott asks.
Chris narrows his eyes. "I need the specific episode number. Also, way to give everyone a hint."
Scott rolls his eyes. "If you don't know where the Statue of Liberty is, you have bigger problems than a dumb trivia game."
"Yeah!" Lightning confirms. "Everyone knows it's in… that place you said."
Topher scratches his head. "I'm bad with numbers. I don't know the episode number!"
Chris rings the timer bell loudly. "TIME!"
Ella turns her team's board around and beams as she announces, "Season 3, Episode 5! It's the episode with the delightful musical tribute to—"
Chris cuts her off mid-sentence, holding up a hand. "All I asked for was the number, not an entire essay." He pauses for effect, then nods. "Anyways, right on."
Zoey tries to rally her team after capitalizing on a mistake by the Rats. "C'mon, team. We're still in this."
A montage of the challenge ensues, with the teams neck-and-neck. Cameron appears to be the driving force for his team, while Scarlett is the reluctant brain behind hers.
As the montage ends, Chris steps forward, his voice taking on a dramatic tone. "Alright. The two teams are tied at nine points each. One question remains. It all comes down to this. To ensure there isn't a tie, whoever answers this question correctly first wins." He pauses, savoring the tension before slowly reading the final question. "Who won the inaugural Canadian Grey Cup in 1909?"
Sam blinks in confusion. "What the heck is that?" He turns to Scarlett, hoping for her usual encyclopedic knowledge, but she simply shrugs, just as lost as the rest of the team. The contestants exchange puzzled looks, completely stumped.
All except one. A slow grin spreads across Lightning's face, his eyes lighting up with realization. "University of Toronto Varsity Blues!" he shouts, the words bursting out of him.
For a moment, there's stunned silence.
Topher looks at Lightning incredulously. "Lightning, you can't just blurt out—"
Chris interrupts, a grin spreading across his face. "CORRECT! The Rats win immunity!"
Cheers erupt from the Rats' side, the team celebrating their unexpected victory.
Jasmine, in disbelief, turns to Lightning. "Amazing! But how?"
Lightning puffs out his chest, clearly proud of himself. "The Grey Cup is the highest honor in all of Canadian football! Of course I know all about it!"
SCARLETT CONFESSIONAL: I'm sure we are all well-aware of the irony of Lightning winning an intelligence-based challenge. It makes no difference to me if we won or lost. I can play whatever hand I'm dealt.
SKY CONFESSIONAL: I can tell Jo's in trouble here. I need to find a way to sway the vote away from her. Anne Maria seems like the next-best target, she really blew the challenge today with her temper. Maybe I can get some people to vote with me…
ELLA CONFESSIONAL: This is our best chance yet to get rid of Jo. Then a real team leader can take her place. Like Brick!
Ella, with her usual grace, approaches Brick in the campground with a bright smile. "Yoo-hoo! Man of valor!"
Brick turns around. "Huh? Oh, hey!" he replies.
"Who will you be voting for this evening?" Ella asks inquisitively.
Brick frowns, considering. "Tough call. I don't like Dave's attitude. Possibly him."
Ella's tone takes on a persuasive edge. "But Brick, this is your chance to usurp Jo as the team leader. Vote for her."
Brick contemplates Ella's statement, the Machiavellian tactics contrasting with her gentle demeanor. "Go against Jo? But that's like going against your commanding officer."
"Don't you recall The Mutiny on the Bounty?" Ella cites, reminding Brick of their shared interest in classic Hollywood. "Clark Gable goes against his cruel commanding officer."
Brick considers this new perspective. "You think I'm like Clark Gable?"
Ella smiles encouragingly. "You could be."
Brick straightens up, a new sense of confidence washing over him. "Hey now… Maybe I could make for a good leading man."
Lightning paces around triumphantly in the Rats' cabin. "That's right! Who's the smartest one of all? LIGHTNING! L-I-T-... uh… 'Ning!' Sha-bam!" He strikes a pose, clearly proud of himself and unbothered by the spelling mishap.
Sam, meanwhile, sits on his bunk, staring at the empty space where Rodney used to sleep. His expression hardens.
Scott, lounging nearby, notices Sam's intense gaze. "Are you still wringing your hands over that blockhead?" he asks acidically.
Sam shakes his head, his voice tinged with a newfound resolve. "No, no… you were right. I've been too soft, too weak. And I don't just mean physically."
Scott glances at him, raising an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah?" he responds, half-listening.
Sam's confidence continues to rise. "I've got to assert myself. Be dominant."
Scott shifts slightly, now a bit more interested. "Are you sure about that?"
Sam nods firmly. "Yeah, man. Dakota's back, and this might be my last chance."
SCOTT CONFESSIONAL: Great, now Sam's all macho. I needed him to stay pathetic so I could manipulate him easily. But… he seems to look up to me. He might have to learn tough guy lesson number one - never trust anyone!
Sky approaches Zoey, who is sitting cross-legged on her bunk, deep in thought. "Zoey!" Sky calls out, snapping her back to the present.
"Yeah?" Zoey responds, looking up with mild curiosity.
Sky hesitates for a moment before going straight to the point. "What are you thinking about tonight's elimination?"
Zoey gives a confident nod. "Way ahead of you. He's as good as gone."
Sky tilts her head, confused. "Huh? Who?"
"Dave. That's what you wanted, right?" Zoey says, assuming they were on the same page.
Sky bites her lip, unsure. "Well… what about Anne Maria?"
Zoey blinks in surprise. "What? Why?"
"I can't have Jo voted off," Sky argues. "And if everyone who isn't voting for Jo is split between Dave and Anne Maria, then Jo is toast."
Zoey takes a moment to process this. "So you're saying between Jo, Dave, and Anne Maria, you would choose Anne Maria to leave? Sure, she's a bit temperamental, but not as bad as the other two."
Sky crosses her arms, her expression serious. "Well, Anne Maria blew a lot of questions for us."
Zoey doesn't back down. "So did Jo."
Sky sighs, conflicted. "But I respect Jo as a leader and… I don't know. I feel guilty about Dave. I may have been too harsh. I don't want to both break his heart and vote him out."
Zoey considers this, then softly counters, "Is keeping him around here really going to fix anything?"
Sky is unable to answer and the two sit in silence.
SKY CONFESSIONAL: Argh! This is impossible. Zoey is right. Dave needs to go, too. Maybe I should just talk to Jo directly.
Jo leans against a cabin, casually picking her teeth with a toothpick. Sky approaches, concerned.
"Yo," Jo greets, her tone relaxed.
Sky raises an eyebrow. "You seem calm. Aren't you worried about tonight's elimination?"
Jo shrugs, her demeanor unruffled. "Why should I be? It's Dave or Anne Maria."
Sky's frown deepens. "Don't stick your head in the sand. Multiple people are planning to vote for you."
Jo's expression remains indifferent. "It doesn't matter."
Sky looks confused. "What? Now you sound like Dave."
Jo shakes her head, her tone more serious now. "No, not like that. Look. I found this today on my morning run."
She pulls out the immunity idol and shows it to Sky.
Sky's eyes widen in disbelief. "No way! I thought Chris just made that up to mess with us!"
Jo grins, a glint of triumph in her eyes. "Guess not. This little beauty is going to keep me safe tonight."
Sky stares at the idol. "Well, that changes everything. Good luck tonight."
Jo nods, still calm and collected, as she tucks the idol away. The stakes for the evening's elimination have suddenly shifted.
Dave sits by the seashore underneath the blue and purple twilight. Waves gently lap at the sand. He sits alone on a jagged rock, his gaze fixed on the water, his expression dark and brooding. He picks up a small stone and hurls the stone into the surf. The splash is noticed by a mutated, three-eyed, orange fish that leaps from the water, snapping at the stone as if it were prey.
"I see a darkness."
The voice is not Dave's own, and he's jolted out of his morose trance. "Who said that?"
"Your anger is like a black bile on the etheric plane." It's Dawn, who has seemingly materialized out of thin air, both serene and unsettling. She sits cross-legged.
"What?" Dave knows no other way to respond to such cryptic musing.
Dawn continues, unperturbed. "Why do you believe that Sky's perception of you determines your own self-worth?"
Dave's gaze hardens as he replies, "It doesn't. Life's just unfair to guys that do everything right."
"Do you believe you did everything right?" Dawn asks genuinely.
Dave hesitates. "...I don't know."
Dawn presses on. "Do you think you are capable of doing everything right?"
"...Uh…" Dave stammers.
"Life is suffering," Dawn states calmly. Bluntly, but with a placid acceptance.
"Okay, that I agree with," Dave admits, Dawn's statement aligning with Dave's directionless cynicism.
"But then what?"
"Huh?"
Dawn was gone.
The Mutant Maggots gather around the foreboding campfire—Anne Maria, Brick, Cameron, Dave, Ella, Jo, Mike, Shawn, Sky, and Zoey. One of them will not be returning to their cabin.
Chris strides into the clearing with an almost manic grin. "Greetings, losers!"
Ella, always polite, responds, "Why, thank you!"
Chris blinks, momentarily caught off guard by the chipper reply. "Uh… yeah. It was a hard-fought battle, but you eventually lost to the intellectually superior Toxic Rats." He pauses, and begins scanning the campfire area. "Wait, where's Chef?"
Chef emerges from the woods, trudging into view while encased in a bulky yellow hazmat suit. "Sorry I'm late," he grumbles. "I had to go to the bathroom. This suit is hard to take off."
Chris grimaces at the mention of Chef's bathroom troubles. "TMI, Chef…" he winces, before refocusing on the campers. "As you know, the camper with the most votes against them tonight must walk down the Dock of Shame and then catch a ride on the Boat of Losers. And you can NEVER come back. EVER."
Jo steps forward confidently. "There's one exception, though," she announces. She brandishes the immunity idol, holding it high for all to see. The other contestants gasp in shock.
Chris takes the idol from her and examines it closely, turning it over in his hands. After a moment, he nods with approval. "This IS a valid immunity idol," he confirms. "Any votes toward Jo tonight will not count."
"Aw, crap," Anne Maria mutters under her breath, her face falling as her chances of ousting Jo crumble before her eyes and her chances of going home drastically increase.
Chris keeps the ceremony moving. "If I call your name, you are safe. Jo, you are automatically safe, so you get the first marshmallow."
Jo grabs the marshmallow with a grin, savoring the moment. "The sweet taste of victory," she quips, clearly enjoying her triumph.
Chris continues, listing off names as he tosses marshmallows to the relieved campers. "The next marshmallows go to… Zoey. Mike. Sky. Shawn. Ella. Brick. Cameron."
Cameron catches his marshmallow. "Phew!" he exhales, the tension in his shoulders easing.
Chris continues. "Dave. Anne Maria. Because Jo used her totem, one of you is going home tonight. And yes, Jo did receive the most votes."
Jo can't resist a final jab, flashing a sarcastic sneer at her teammates. "Nice one, guys. Thanks for the support. Couldn't have done it without you."
"Quiet!" Anne Maria snaps, her voice sharp with frustration and anxiety.
Chris stretches the moment, savoring the suspense. "And the final marshmallow goes to…"
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"… Anne Maria."
Anne Maria's face floods with relief. "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I thought I was a goner there. Oh… my gosh."
Dave simply stands, his expression unreadable, and walks away without a word.
Chris calls after him with mock concern. "Yo, Dave. You forgot your toxic marshmallow, bro. I know you're gonna want that." He motions to Chef, who opens the metal box that usually contains the final marshmallow.
Chef frowns as he peers inside. "Aw, crud. I left it in the bathroom."
Chris's face tightens in frustration. "...Cheeef!"
Sky, her voice laced with genuine concern, speaks up. "Is he okay?"
Chef, misinterpreting her concern, waves it off. "I'll be fine. They can't fire me, I'm tenured."
Sky shakes her head, clarifying, "I meant Dave. He just… left."
Chris, rolling his eyes, dismisses her worry. "Who cares? Didn't he, like, follow you around the whole show and start crying when you finally told him he's a freakin' weirdo?"
PIER
Sky rushes down the pier. "Dave!"
Dave turns slowly as he boards the Boat of Losers. "Hello, Sky."
She hesitates. "Are you… okay? I'm sorry. I had to."
Dave's eyes are distant, yet there's a calmness in his voice. "I understand. It's just a complicated game. I'm sorry for what I did, as well."
"You're not mad?" Sky asks cautiously.
"Oh, I'm mad," Dave replies, his voice dropping an octave.
"Oh."
"But as soon as I get home," Dave continues, "I'm taking another trip. To the snowy mountains of Tibet. To seek inner peace and finally cool the flames of longing."
Sky blinks, taken aback. "Wow, Dave, that's very… mature. I guess. And a bit strange. But I'm glad you're moving on like a-"
Dave suddenly interrupts, his eyes hopeful. "Wanna come with me?"
Sky's smile falters. "Uh, no. Sorry. Gonna have to decline."
Dave sighs, the hope draining from his face. "Aw, rats."
Chef, appearing out of nowhere, douses Dave with the detoxifying H2O. The water streams across Dave's face and body, but he stands stoically, unmoving, already disconnected from the chaos of the show. The boat engine sputters to life, and the boat putters away.
Sky remains on the pier, watching the boat vanish. "...What just..."
Before she can finish, Jo slaps a hand on Sky's shoulder with a smirk. "Guys, eh? Well. See ya tomorrow."
Sky remains standing on the pier, perplexed and pensive in the nocturnal sea air, staring into the inky night.
The solemn moment of introspection is interrupted by Chris's ceremonial lead-in to the end credits. "Who will take a surprise ticket to Tibet next? What horrors await these campers tomorrow? And what happened to that toxic marshmallow Chef left in the bathroom?" Chris walks by the lavatory as he says this.
Inside, we can hear Topher's voice - "Why is this bar of soap glowing? – AAAGH!"
"Heh, heh!" Chris lets out his signature sadistic chuckle. "Well, that's one mystery solved. Find out the answers to your other questions, right here, on Total! Drama! Revenge of the Island!"
Notes:
Anne Maria says her full name is "Andrea Maria Carmela DeAngelis Boninsegna" - "Carmela DeAngelis" is the maiden name of Carmela Soprano, Tony's wife on 'The Sopranos.' I got "Boninsegna" from the surname of Roberto Boninsegna, an Italian soccer player active in the 60s and 70s. I picked him for no other reason than I liked the sound of his last name. It sounds very official and respectable.
Soccer players are a great resource for names, I love it. Because it's such a global game, there's so many players from so many nationalities and ethnic backgrounds represented. Did you know Breaking Bad villain Gustavo Fring's name comes from a German soccer player named Torsten Frings? Just don't pick a universally-famous name. Having a character named something like "John Messi" might throw people off.
Originally question two was going to be "Where was Chris McLean born?" but then I remembered it was revealed in World Tour that Chris was born in Newfoundland, so Jo's trick of putting down "Canada" wouldn't fail. So I switched the question to where Chris's former boy band was from.
Chris says he had a stalker who then tried to assassinate a politician. This is a reference to probably the most (in)famous case of celebrity stalking, John Hinckley, Jr., who attempted to kill President Ronald Reagan in 1981 in order to impress Jodie Foster, an actress he was infatuated with. Hinckley spent the next 35 years in a mental asylum and now, believe or not, he has been released and is attempting a career as a folk singer on YouTube.
Someone told me about Louis Riel recently. As someone who knows absolutely nothing about Canadian history - I don't think I could name a single prime minister other than the current Justin Trudeau - Riel seemed like a fascinating figure. One who was absolutely hated in this time for trying to destabilize the newly-independent Canada but now is considered a noble hero for attempting to defend the Native Americans. So I decided to throw him in there as a Canada trivia question so other readers could learn of his story.
A mutated, three-eyed, orange fish is described by the sea where Dave is. This is a reference to a fish, nicknamed "Blinky," that appears in The Simpsons, most notably in the episode "Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish."
Dawn says "I see a darkness" which is the title of a Bonnie 'Prince' Billy song, famously covered by Johnny Cash. The original is just as good, but unfortunately it's not on Spotify currently.
Dawn also refers to Dave's feelings as "black bile." The word 'melancholy' literally means 'black bile' in Greek, as it was once believed that depression was caused by a buildup of a black, bile-like fluid in the body.
Dawn states that "Life is suffering." This comes from the first of the four noble truths of Buddhism, dukkha, which essentially states that suffering is inevitable in life. Dawn's "and then what?" hints at the subsequent three noble truths, which say that suffering is not an end in itself, but rather a starting point for deeper reflection or change - one must use this suffering to learn and gain inner peace.