Disclaimer: Do not own Marvel, DC or The 100
Warnings for trauma, child neglect, child abandonment, talk of pedophilia because of Bellamy, murder and torture
Are you still curious?
"Are you still curious? Was it worth it?" Those were the last two questions that Clarke had asked Dinah and Helena before she had gone to the terrace, jumped on the railing, then flew off into the night, letting the two of her romantic partner soulmates that she shared an apartment with absorb everything that she had told them as Clarke leapt from building to building with inhuman speed and agility.
Dinah Lance sat across from Helena Bertinelli, both of them with troubled looks on their faces.
They both had understood that Clarke Griffin, their romantic partner soulmate, had several demons that she lived with every day.
But everything that Clarke had just told the two of them? It was heart wrenching.
When Dinah and Helena had started with their line of questioning, when they had faced off with Clarke Griffin tonight, they hadn't expected what she had told them. They had known that it would be harsh and horrible. Painful.
But she hadn't expected this. Nothing this severe.
When Dinah and Helena had confronted Clarke tonight, knowing that Clarke wouldn't be honest about what she had been through, neither of them had been expecting the answers they got.
Helena Bertinelli, born and raised till her twelfth birthday amongst her family, who all was slaughtered right in front of her by Sionis's men, ordered to do so all those years ago, she had her demons. As did Dinah Lance, who had found her mother's dead body, beaten and in a pool of her own blood on the street and who had found herself working for one of the worst psychopaths in all of Gotham, AKA, New York City, AKA, the Trikru's land, as a singer, then as a chauffer, until said psychopath was killed at the docks.
But Clarke Griffin? She had more demons than either older woman could keep track of.
They supposed that that was why Clarke was so secretive for so long. She was worried about her lovers' reactions.
Yes, Natasha Romanoff, Clarke Griffin's other romantic partner soulmate, and the one of Clarke's many romantic partner soulmates who knew her best arguably, had warned them that there were a lot of issues that Clarke had to deal with. Maria Hill, another one of Clarke's many romantic partner soulmates had warned them of the same thing.
But still? Dinah and Helena hadn't been expecting what they heard.
Just how painful Clarke's life had been…
Dinah and Helena shared a bottle of wine, granted the bottle of wine had already been halfway done, so there wasn't much left to drink, anyway. They sat there, sipping their wine as they faced each other.
Dinah looked down at the globular wine glass, filled with dark red wine.
"Sorry," Helena said quietly, "I know you prefer white wines."
Dinah smiled. "It's alright," She said, "Reds are good too. And after what we just heard? I think we're both going to need a lot of it."
Helena huffed. She couldn't help but agree wholly.
"How the fuck is she even as sane as she is, after everything she went through?" Helena asked, unable to help the question.
Dinah shook her head. "I don't know." She confessed.
Clarke had witnessed her father, her darling, beloved father, Jake Griffin, get executed, when she was only five years old. And she was thrown into the skybox just because of what she had happened to her, and had stayed there, isolated for six years, till she was eleven, and had broken out of it, losing control of her hunger and so, so lonely, and she had torn out of the skybox, had fed on many, many other prisoners, so hungry.
She was thrown out, by her own people as a result, the woman who was supposed to be Clarke's mother, Abby Griffin, had rejected her, thrown her away, so Clarke had been left in the cold and wild of the Trikru's land on the ground.
She had spent time isolated and alone, living in the wild, living off of animals, feeding on them, drinking their blood. She was alone all that time, before being grabbed by the Mountain Men.
And well, everyone knew what happened then, didn't they?
Clarke realized what the Mountain Men were up to, and that they were going to harvest peoples' blood and bone marrow, and make Grounders into rabid monsters, and she pulled a lever that let in toxic air, killing off all the Mountain Men almost instantly, and earning the name, "Wanheda," the Commander of Death.
All of the tribes feared and respected her, worshipped her, even. But nonetheless, a child was told as soon as she killed all the Mountain Men, she was the Commander of Death, a child who wasn't even fourteen yet, had to learn over and over again from Grounders that she was their savior, because she was a mass murderer.
What kind of affect would that have on someone's mental state? Let alone the mental state of someone that young?
Then she had spent almost a year in the forest, traumatized and again, isolated and alone, then the Azgeda had taken her.
The Ice Nation, the worst of the Grounder tribes, so violent, so murderous, without any mercy, whatsoever, and they had abducted Clarke, who already had been severely traumatized, and so desperately alone.
So, what would that do to one's mental health?
The Azgeda had tortured her, had forced her to torture others, and Clarke had taken it. Believing that she deserved it all.
And she had become, over the course of those years that Clarke spent with the Azgeda, a dark, hard-hearted torturer and murderer.
She had killed and tortured so many people and she had come to enjoy it.
And then the Avengers had come along, and Natasha Romanoff had found Clarke in that tree, had lured her down and had brought her back to SHIELD headquarters, quintessentially had provided Clarke with a home, a family, multiple families, in fact.
But what Clarke had told both Dinah and Helena tonight? It had been nothing that either of them had been prepared for.
Sure, like everyone, they had heard the stories of Wanheda and what she had been through, where she had come from and all that and that she had been adopted by Jake and Abby Griffin, and rejected by Abby and so on.
They knew the story, like everyone did.
Yet, there was a difference between having heard of the story after the fact, then hearing the blunt, painful and ugly truth firsthand from Clarke herself.
They remembered every single word that Clarke had said to them before she had left.
"What now?" Helena asked, looking at Dinah, sadness in her brown eyes.
Dinah chuckled, smiling grimly, "What now? I guess we just wait till she gets back. And try to be there for her."
Helena nodded. "Alright," she said, "But…do we want to talk with her about it?"
Dinah's smile turned pained. She knew that they'd need to talk with Clarke more about this.
She needed to talk about her issues, she did. And both Dinah and Helena knew that. Helena had talked more and more about what she had been through. It was still hard for her, still difficult for her talk about it, but she did it. And so did Dinah. But Clarke? Clarke still didn't talk about it. Not much, besides dry dark and sarcastic remarks.
That was about it.
So, what Clarke said to Dinah and Helena tonight? That was rare. And it obviously had a bad effect on Clarke.
Helena met Dinah's eyes again as the assassin said quietly, "I can't believe I'd ever say this, but I think Clarke has had a worse life than me."
Dinah nodded. "She's definitely had a worse life than me," she confessed.
Dinah had found her mother's dead body, murdered, beaten, and she had spent years working for a violent psychopath like Roman Sionis and his henchman and romantic partner soulmate, the psycho, Victor Zsaz. But it hadn't been nearly as bad as Clarke's life. Helena had seen her whole family wiped out, but she hadn't been alone. She was taken in by assassins soon afterwards.
For all their trauma, neither of them had necessarily been alone. Helena had had a new family look after her, Dinah had had her boyfriends and girlfriends here and there, before Roman had been killed and before she had met her two romantic partner soulmates, Clarke and Helena.
But Clarke? Clarke had been completely alone, up till the Azgeda had found her. And even then?
Even then, they had put her on a pedestal as a symbol of death, and had tortured her and trained her obsessively to be their personal murder machine.
Clarke's life had been hell. Utter hell.
And that hell hadn't looked like it would have an end in sight, till Natasha Romanoff found Clarke there in the Ice Nation.
"I hate to say it," Dinah said quietly, "But this explains a lot."
Helena nodded. "It does," she said dryly, "If any of the people that hurt her are still alive…"
"I'm guessing they're not," Dinah said, "But if they are, we'll find them. We…when Clarke gets back, we should look after her."
Helena nodded, a small smile on her face.
Clarke had obviously talked enough. And she mentally wouldn't be able to deal with any more tonight. So, all that would be done would be physical actions, if Clarke wanted that to be the case.
The two of them kept drinking, and even as they did, they knew that Clarke wouldn't be willing to have sex with them, the moment she smelled their breath. She would not take advantage of them when they were almost inebriated.
Still, Dinah and Helena both would hold her in their arms tonight, hold her close and comfort her.
A few hours later, the window opened up and Helena and Dinah both knew that Clarke had returned.
The two older women got up from the sofa where they had been watching the TV, turning the TV off and dropping the remote control onto the couch. They walked around the couch to the window, where Clarke was coming through, as Clarke closed the window.
"Clarke," Helena said, smiling, causing Clarke to turn around and face the two older women, "We're glad that you're back."
Clarke eyed the two older women.
"Hey," She said quietly, "Helena. Dinah. I just…I just needed to get out. Clear my head. That's all."
Dinah nodded and Helena edged closer to Clarke.
"Are you alright?" Helena asked Clarke gently.
Clarke nodded, looking at Helena weakly, but she forced a smile. "I guess," She said, then chuckling, "I guess as alright as I can be, you know? Are the two of you alright?"
"We're good," Dinah said, coming over and she knew that Clarke smelled both her breath and Helena's breath, smelling the wine on their breath, "Just absorbing everything, sweetie."
"It smells like you've been absorbing a lot more than that," Clarke said, snickering, "But I understand that."
Dinah shrugged. "It wasn't easy hearing that, you know," the singer said.
Clarke nodded, "I know. I'm sorry. But you know, the two of you DID ask."
"We did," Dinah agreed, "I'm sorry, I'm sure it wasn't easy for you to talk about."
Clarke smirked. "That's putting it lightly," she said.
"Can we go to bed?" Clarke asked them, "I'm not gonna have sex with either of you, since you've been drinking. But I want to sleep next to you."
Dinah smiled and Helena grinned, leaning forward, wrapping her arms around Clarke's waist and picked the younger woman up, carrying her towards their bedroom. Dinah followed after the two of them.
Helena placed Clarke onto the bed and she gestured for Dinah to join the two of them. The two of them kicked their shoes off as they laid down next to Clarke. Clarke kicked off her own shoes and let Dinah and Helena cuddle her between them.
"I really wish you wouldn't be so rigid about how we have sex," Dinah grumbled into Clarke's ear as she cuddled the younger woman from behind.
Clarke snorted, "Yeah, well I ain't doing anything with people who are too drunk to be able to say 'no,' any more than I'm having sex with someone underage, who doesn't understand consent the way we, adults do."
Helena and Dinah both chuckled against Clarke. They understood that.
Among the many people that Clarke had tortured and murdered over the seven years in the Ice Nation, pedophiles and rapists had been among them. And she tortured and butchered young people, who were eighteen to twenty something, who had had sex with underage people-because regardless of the excuses, which pedophiles always gave, eighteen to twenty something year-olds who had sex with underaged people, were still pedophiles and rapists.
It was one of the reasons why neither Dinah, nor Helena felt any pity when Clarke had told them of one of her more famous kills.
Among the prisoners the eleven-year-old Clarke had killed in her hunger, had been a prisoner older than her, named Octavia Blake, and she had drained the girl of her blood.
Octavia had had an older brother. A pedophile who had sex with underage girls regularly and claimed that people who tried to stop him were "privileged" scumbags.
He was a rapist and a pedophile, and he had come after Clarke in the Ice Nation to avenge his dead sister.
Clarke had chained him to the trees, had tortured him to death, skinned him and cut him apart. After he had been killed finally by beheading, Clarke had then thrown his skin and his remains into the wilderness to rot and be eaten by dogs.
The pedophile and rapist's name had been Bellamy Blake.
And Dinah and Helena both understood Clarke's misgivings about anything less than absolute perfect consent.
Helena cooed into Clarke's left cheek, "We know, love," she assured the younger woman, "We know. Thank you for your concern."
Clarke chuckled. "You're welcome, Bertinelli," She said, "And if you guys hadn't been drinking, we could have done something."
"Shh," Dinah whispered into Clarke's ear, kissing it then, "We can do something together tomorrow morning, alright? But in the meantime, we're just gonna snuggle together, okay? Tomorrow morning. But be patient."
Clarke snorted, rolling her eyes. "Fine," she said, "Tomorrow morning. Can we use toys tomorrow?"
Dinah and Helena both chuckled. They both knew how much Clarke loved toys being used on her.
"Alright, honey," Dinah promised, "We can use toys tomorrow. Any toys in mind, sweetie?"
Clarke nodded against Helena. "Yeah," she answered, wishing that Dinah and Helena hadn't bene drinking, so that she could grind against one of them, "The strap-ons?"
She could practically feel Dinah and Helena grin against her. And Clarke smirked. She loved toys being used on her and she knew that all her romantic partner soulmates loved using those toys on her.
And what was more? Dinah and Helena, as well as Natasha, Maria and all of Clarke's other romantic partner soulmates loved, absolutely loved fucking her with their strap-ons.
"Okay, baby," Dinah promised, "Tomorrow morning, we'll fuck you hard with the strap-ons. Promise, sweetie."
Clarke chuckled and snuggled into Helena and Dinah snuggled into her. "Thank you," Clarke mumbled into Helena's neck.
She heard some playful chuckles and allowed the two older women to hold her as she closed her eyes.
"You know," Dinah said quietly, "We're going to need to talk about this some more, right?"
Clarke sighed, "I know…I know, okay? But…I don't know if I can talk about it more. Not without preparing for it."
Helena nodded. "We know, Tesoro," and Clarke smiled at that. While she loved it when Natasha talked to her in Russian, it was one of her favorite things, she also loved when Helena spoke to her in Italian.
"We'll help you," Dinah said, "Whenever you're ready, sweetie."
Clarke nodded against Helena again.
"Thank you," she whispered.
Dinah and Helena both smiled again as they could feel the tendrils of sleepiness begin to grab them. "You're very welcome, amore mio," Helena answered.
"You're welcome, sweetie," Dinah said, as they slowly eventually all went to sleep for the night.
Author's note
In case anyone hasn't noticed, I really hate Bellamy.
On a side note, I would have posted this on a crossover with "Birds of Prey and the Emancipation of one Harley Quinn," but there doesn't seem to be a fan fiction option available for that movie. I checked. So, putting on a crossover with Marvel was the best I could do. Hope everyone can forgive that. Technical problems and all that, there isn't an option to have this as a crossover with the Birds of Prey and Harley Quinn movie.