Another songfic from the vault. Written just after Book 8 came out, so 2002/2003. The song is "Dark End Of The Street," written in 1967, but my favorite version is from the 1991 movie The Committments. It's been edited a bit since I originally posted it, but not by much (current self would like to argue with 2002 writer self about a couple of the tenses here and there). Someone mentioned to me that I haven't been putting in disclaimers. Consider yourself declaimed. I am not JE, nor am I the songwriter team Penn/Moman, these are not my characters.
At the dark end of the street
That is where we'd always meet
Hiding in shadows where we don't belong
Living in darkness to hide our wrong
You and me, at the dark end of the street
You and me
I sat in my CRV, watching the row house, the street silent and very dark around me. This wasn't supposed to be a difficult or dangerous skip, but so far he'd been pretty good at staying ahead of me. Through his incompetence, mostly, but probably some of mine, too. I didn't like to do take-downs at night in residential areas, but so far he'd lost both of his jobs and then the one he'd gotten to replace them, so it wasn't like I had much choice. Here at his house or never. He never seemed to be home during the day, so I was just going to have to sit here and wait him out.
I didn't like to do take-downs by myself, either, but not much seemed to be going my way lately. Lula had a hot date - she wouldn't say who with and there weren't many other people I could call for help. Hell, there weren't any other people I could call for help. I hadn't seen Ranger since the night I escaped from Abruzzi's. I had heard he was out of town for a couple of weeks, which might be true, because Connie said he hadn't been by and she had files waiting for him.
That's what I started calling it - "the escape from Abruzzi". I just couldn't wrap my mind around the rest of it. Ranger had hunted Abruzzi down and killed him to keep Abruzzi from hurting me. What made it much worse was that I knew I had pushed the situation to that outcome. I knew that I should have handled things a little differently. Should have been more aware, should have thought about what I was doing a little longer.
I leaned my head back against the seat and tried not to think about anything at all. What did Ranger do when he was in his zone? Did his mind just spin like mine did? Probably not. I looked out my side window. A light summer rain had been falling for the last twenty minutes or so, long enough to make the streets wet and bring up the smell of wet dust and oil off the streets, long enough for the tires of passing cars to make a swishing noise and kick up small tails of water.
Still no skip. I rolled my head over and sighed, looking at my watch. One in the morning. How long was I going to have to wait, sitting in my car in a nearly unlit street?
The passenger door opened and a very large and very wet body, dressed all in black, climbed in. "Yo."
Both my hands were clenched tight on the steering wheel. "Jesus, Ranger, do I even need to say it again? You scared the crap out of me. How did you know I was working tonight?"
My car rocked a little as Ranger leaned forward and stripped off his wet jacket and then used the jacket lining to wipe off his hair, pulling off the leather tie that held it back and running his fingers through his hair to get the water out. "Do I need to say it again? Need to be more aware of your surroundings, babe. Doors should have been locked."
"What I need is for my skip to get home so I can haul him in."
Ranger nodded. "Who we after?"
We? I closed my eyes. This was what I always got from Ranger. Total support. Total acceptance. And I wasn't doing a very good job of returning the favor. Without a word I handed him the file. He glanced quickly at me and then took out a small flashlight from his pocket and read through the file. After a moment he closed the file and handed it back.
I looked at him again. He really was soaking wet. "How did you get here?" He simply smiled that small Ranger smile at me, the one that meant he wasn't going to answer.
"Come on - how do you do it? Where's your car? Or did you fly? Beam in? Wait, landed by aliens."
He laughed, a loud sound in the closed car. "I missed you, Steph." There was a pause. His words rattled around the car a bit while we both thought about them. I think we were both surprised by what he had said.
"Then why did you go?"
We sat looking at each other for a moment and then by unspoken agreement we both leaned toward each other, my hand cupped around the side of his neck and his hand falling lightly on my shoulder, each of us pulling the other closer. We twisted toward each other, kept from complete contact by the seat console. Our lips met, lightly at first, and then with increasing pressure and hunger. We started with small, brushing kisses, closed mouth, and then it wasn't enough for me and I opened my mouth and touched my tongue to his lower lip. I closed my eyes and let myself live in the sensation as our tongues touched and explored. His taste, his touch, his scent, the heat that radiated off of his body and the hand the gripped my shoulder - all of it felt like the parts of a spell, settling over me and causing me to suspend any ability to think, the ability to do anything but just feel.
He made a low sound, deep in his throat, and tightened his grip on me to the point of being painful. I slid my hand down from his neck to his chest and I could feel his heart pounding beneath my hand. It was the first time I realized the effect that I had on Ranger. That it wasn't just me under the spell, he was caught in it, too.
He moved so that his forehead rested against mine and his hand slid into my hair, his fingertips against my scalp, moving gently. "Not a good idea to steam up the windows on a stakeout vehicle."
"Mmm," I said, not opening my eyes, "is that in that Bounty Hunter Handbook I keep hearing about?"
Even without looking, I felt his smile. After a moment he let me go and moved away, straightening in his seat, his eyes on the row house. "I left to give you time to think."
And now on to the gut-wrenching portions on the evening. "About what? Relationships? One-night stands? Abruzzi?"
He ran his fingers through his wet hair again. "Yeah," he said softly. "Babe, I didn't mean to…" There was a pause and then I felt the change in his body. "Your skip's here," he nodded his head toward a clearly drunken man shambling down the street.
We both got out of the car and walked toward him, Ranger on my right-hand side, relaxed, confident, quiet. With him here I could concentrate on the skip and not the late hour and the dark street. The skip was drunk enough to be difficult to manage without actually meaning to be. At first he wasn't belligerent, but as I talked to him and got the handcuffs on him, I could see that he was going to become increasingly difficult.
Ranger stood by, watchful, waiting, saying nothing. He opened the back door of my small SUV and watched as I shoved my skip in and then put his seat belt on. The seatbelt routine got me a small smile from Ranger. I got in the driver's side, and after a quick pause Ranger got in the passenger side, turned to be able to watch the skip in the back seat. We rode to the police station in silence.
At the station he helped me bundle the mostly-unconscious skip out of the back seat and up the stairs into the waiting arms of Eddie Gazarra. The paperwork was quick and easy, and I was out the door in record time.
Ranger stood at the foot of the stairs, deep in his zone, waiting for me. He watched me walk down the stairs and then walked to my car with me.
"Ranger...," I said, reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder. He stopped and half-turned toward me. "I did think about you." His eyes were dark and intense, maybe a little bit wary. I reached out and traced his lips with my fingers, and then leaned in and kissed him gently.
He stepped closer, completely facing me. There was no distance between us anymore. "And?"
"And I...I can't do the no-relationship thing."
"I know you can't."
"Ranger, it doesn't have to be this way. Both of us want this." He shook his head and stepped away. I wasn't sure what he was denying.
I sighed and got in my car. "Do you need a ride?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
"No, I'm good." He reached in the driver's side and hit the "lock" button for the doors and then stepped back, away from the car. The rain had tapered off, leaving puddles everywhere. As I started the car, Ranger turned back to me. "So, you and Morelli work on that relationship?"
I closed my eyes. My throat was tight and it was hard to get the words out. "Don't ever talk to me about Joe again, Ranger."
He looked at me for a moment, and then turned and walked away, into the long shadows in the alley behind the building. I watched him go and then saw, out of the corner of my eye, that Eddie Gazarra was standing in the station doorway watching me.
They're going to find us
Oh someday
You and me, at the dark end of the street
You and me
It was late afternoon on a Friday when the party started at Pino's. It was Carl Costanza's fortieth birthday and it seemed like anyone who'd ever met Carl had showed up. I hadn't intended to stay long, but it felt good just to sit and chatter, to stop thinking about my life and my screwed-up relationships.
But apparently other people thought it would be a good idea for me to think about them. I had been sitting at the end of a long table with Carl, Eddie and Big Dog and a couple of the other guys, when Carl asked Big Dog to clear them out. That left Eddie, Carl and me plus a sinking feeling in my stomach.
Carl put his hand over mine. "Steph, " he started, "if you don't want Morelli, that's okay. You two seemed good together, but if it isn't what you wanted, then… but, Steph, you and Ranger, that's a disaster waiting to happen."
Eddie looked at me and shook his head. "It just doesn't seem right, Steph, you and him? Just too different. He's not from here. He's not one of us. And with all the shit he's capable of, better to just walk away from him before you get real hurt."
I pulled my hand away from Carl. "Why are you doing this?"
Eddie sighed. "Doris saw you kiss Ranger in the parking lot. Shirley heard about it from Doris." Doris was the night dispatcher and was also known as "the fastest mouth in Trenton". "She called your mother, and then your mother called me and wanted to know what I knew about Ranger, so I told her about him.."
I stood up, knocking my chair over. "I can't take this anymore, it feels like I'm in a fucking cage on display! Why is what I do everyone's business? Can't any of you accept that I might need to find out what I want on my own, that I might just be able to muddle through on my own? If I want to kiss Ranger in the parking lot, it's no one's business but mine!"
Eddie and Carl had stayed calm even though my voice was rising and I nearly shouted the last sentence, but both of them got to their feet when the low, angry voice behind me spoke.
"Why don't you tell them that you fucking slept with him, Steph? You told me, you might as well tell them." I spun around. Joe. Could this get any worse? He'd had just enough to drink to loosen up the angry parts of him he normally kept under control. "Tell them you slept with a murderer. Tell them what he did for you."
Carl grabbed Joe by the shoulder. "Shut up, Morelli!" he hissed. "You're hanging your own ass out here, too." After Val and I had gotten away from Abruzzi and we'd tumbled out of the van in front of them and spilled the story out, Joe and Ranger had exchanged glances over my head. Joe had even asked Ranger how he wanted to handle it. Joe had known where Ranger was going and what he was going to do and hadn't tried to stop him or report it. And apparently it was common knowledge - or maybe just suspicion - around the cop shop.
Joe tried to pull away. "Oh, but Stephanie doesn't care about my ass anymore, she… "
At that moment I felt nothing but blind rage, directed at Joe. He was turned partway toward me, his jaw angled out so invitingly … and so I balled my fist up as tight as I could and swung. I connected, Joe's head snapped around and he went down to the floor with a satisfying thud and I nearly screamed in pain at how bad it hurt my knuckles.
Carl and Eddie looked at Joe on the floor and then looked at me. I turned and ran out of the building, digging in my pocket for my cell phone.
"Yo."
"I need you."
"You got trouble?
"You could say that. I'm at Pino's."
"Babe… "
"Just come, Ranger."
I waited for him at the edge of the building, mostly in shadow, squatting down, my arms wrapped around myself and my head on my knees. It was only about 10 minutes until his sleek black BMW cruised up to the curb. He got out of the car, engine still running, and walked over to where I was huddled over.
He squatted down in front of me, weight on his haunches. "Babe?" he asked, reaching out for my hand and carefully examining my knuckles. He smiled slightly. "You been bar-room brawling?"
He looked up, beyond me into the Pino's parking lot, and saw Carl and Eddie struggling with a still-angry Joe, and his face tightened, the smile gone. Slowly, he stood up and his body began to tense.
"Ranger," I said, holding one of my hands up toward him. Wordlessly he turned back to me and held his hand out to mine, easily lifting me to my feet. "I need something from you."
He waited, silent and watchful.
"I need to get away for awhile. Away from these people, this place." His eyes flicked between the scene in the parking lot and me as he put together the events. I could see his jaw clenched tight.
He nodded. "I can do that." He walked over to the car and opened the passenger door for me. I followed him to the car and got in.
As we pulled away from the curb, I put my hand on his arm. "Thank you." He nodded again, his face still tight. I brushed my hand down his arm, resting my hand on his warm thigh as I sighed and leaned back into the seat. "And after I've had a week to get over all this, then we need to talk about our relationship - without anyone else around."
He looked over at me as he drove, the highway lights flashing across his face, light and dark, dark and light. "I can do that, too." He covered my hand with his and I twined my fingers with his as we drove in silence.