The Time of Isolation Hath Come
II
Xenovia supposed the house looked to be in better condition than the last time that she had entered it, at least it actually looked like a house this time around.
That didn't stop the subtle sense of unease she felt about being here in the first place, she could not deny that there was little doubt her presence was both unexpected and somewhat uncomfortable, she had seen the look that the man gave her when he first spotted her on their doorstep.
She could not blame them for that either.
Their previous encounter had been only a few days ago and she would not deny that it was not the best first impression she had ever made, certainly not the worst, but the fact they even opened the door and led her inside was a kindness that she was pleasantly surprised with, and rather guilty about being shown.
"All I've got is hot chocolate at the moment, I'm going to assume that you don't like coffee?"
Hot chocolate.
Her lips drew thin, her eyes flickered just over her shoulder and towards the kitchen for a few moments, catching barely a glimpse of the man as he moved through the cupboards, pausing in his work and casting a glance in her direction.
She turned back around before they could completely make eye contact with one another.
"That is…fine." Her slow reply was rather awkward, she mentally cursed herself for appearing such but there was no helping it.
"Okay, good." She heard the light sigh from the man, but it sounded to be one of relief instead of exasperation. He was putting a great deal of thought into trying to make her comfortable. More so than she would have ever expected from one who consorted with Devils.
…But then what did that say about her?
Xenovia turned her head to the side sharply, biting her lower lip to the point she almost drew blood but halted a moment later. Instead her eyes resumed their wandering across the room and into the next, halting on the array of pictures just above a flat wall where she supposed a fireplace would have gone.
Her eyes narrowed just a touch as she focused on one of the images, or rather it seemed to leap out towards her.
She squinted just a touch harder, leaning forwards-
"Alright, here we are."
The man entered the room once more, she jerked in response and whipped her head back around to face them, the man entered the dining room with a thin smile on his face aimed towards her, two plain white mugs held in either hand, lowering the one in his left towards her and sliding it across.
She stared down at it for a half second, then raised her head up and met the gaze of the man, who looked rather abashed about the whole situation.
"...Sorry. I got a little carried away."
Yes.
She could see that.
Given that there was a small hill of cream atop the drink, coupled with a bar of chocolate sticking out like an old tree - and it looked to have the same texture as a dead log - and sprinkled down with tiny little marshmallows. She would have been content with just a little drink, or none at all, so having this thrown in her lap was…
…She wasn't quite sure how to react.
"...Thank you." A single nod, the man looked relieved once more and moved to the opposite side of the table.
By comparison, his own drink was rather tame.
It was just a regular cup of coffee, she could smell the bitter scent from it rather easily, a marked difference to the sweet aroma of her own beverage.
Directing his attention to the table, the school nurse rested his arms either side of the mug and formed a small wall around it, locking his hands together and rolling his lips inwards, a clear aura of discomfort radiated from him, she knew it well. They had no idea what they were supposed to say next, or were just trying to think of something.
In truth, she didn't know what she was supposed to say either.
It had been very quick between what happened and her arriving here that there was no time to really think of what she was supposed to say.
"...So how have you been?"
She met the question with silence, the awkwards and rather stilted tone of the man betrayed his immediate regret in asking the question in the first place. She met his gaze, watched as he cringed and immediately broke eye contact with her, darting towards the table and moving his hand to his mug and picking it up.
Xenovia let the words settle, then responded. "Not well."
"...Sorry, that was a pretty stupid thing for me to ask." With a sigh, the man shook his head and met her gaze. "You…you can start whenever you want to."
Start whenever she wanted to?
That was liberating, but amounted to a touch more pressure.
Her fingers moved up, taking the bar of chocolate and removing it from the mug, then took a rather large bite out of it and paused as it disintegrated in her mouth and hands, spilling onto the table with gentle little patters. She froze, her eyes lingered on the remains of the snack and then rose them towards the man.
They didn't look surprised or bothered about the mess in the least, just meeting her gaze for a half second, then going for a sip of his coffee. Pulling away and shaking his head for a moment, frowning to themselves and speaking in a low mutter.
"Second cup of coffee in an hour, maybe I need to cut back on these things…" They grumbled, rubbing his chin and humming. "And that coffee earlier might have actually spoiled me…this stuff doesn't taste as good as I remember it…Maybe I've just got to drink enough to wash away the taste of luxury?"
Xenovia had no idea what they were talking about.
She silently watched his argument, consuming the remainder of the chocolate and then taking in a deep breath.
"God is dead."
The man glanced at her after she said that, raising his brows. "...Are you sure? Because Asia asked the same thing and Leo said that the guy was probably lying just to mess with people."
She didn't know if they were trying to be reassuring or not, but it seemed they had his doubts.
Slowly, she shook her head from side to side.
"If it were so easy to dismiss the words of that abomination as mere slander, then I would have never…" Her words faltered, she lowered her gaze to the table, curling her fingers into fists and sucking in air between her teeth. "...Doubts plagued me in the wake of the revelation, I wished to dismiss them without fail but they just…would not leave. It was a weakness on my part, one neither Irina nor Agent Bow shared. I did not wish to burden them with my…my faults."
The man made a small noise. "I wouldn't call it a fault but…"
"It was." She replied curtly. "A weakness in my faith because I considered the possibility too important to ignore. So I…I called ahead in secret, alerting them to the mission and then…then levying the question to them. My superiors, that is. I questioned the possibility and explained to them all that had been revealed."
Saying the words out loud didn't make her feel much of anything.
It was a hollow sensation in her gut.
She just needed to tell someone about it.
"...They accused me of blasphemy and informed me of my excommunication, effective immediately."
That was all there really was to it.
Whether it was because of who she was or what happened on the mission, she couldn't say, but that was what happened. In the single blink of an eye, her entire world crumbled into dust right in front of her because she just couldn't help herself. Asking a question that should never have been asked, if she had been faithful - truly faithful - she would have never asked it.
But she could not ignore it.
Because she really wanted to be faithful.
"Neither Irina nor Agent Bow knew of this, at least when I departed they did not know…but I suspect they will be informed of it soon enough. More so when I left Durandal behind, I need no reason for a Burial Agent to track me down."
Everything just felt cold.
Really cold.
"I just…asked the question and I got my answer." She replied slowly, bringing her head up and gazing at the silent man. "God is dead. That is all there is to interpret from it. Because that thing was right, that girl who resides with the Devils has neither the talent nor the skill to turn the very tools of the Lord into demonic curses to heal Devils…She is nothing but an ordinary young girl. No trace of the witch that I knew her by reputation."
The nurse kept silent, his hands drummed on the table and he slowly nodded his head up and down.
"I see."
They were taking this rather well, better than she took it.
"...Do you believe he is dead?"
"God?" Romani hummed, then shrugged his shoulders. "Look…what matters is what you believe, rather than what I think." frowning, the man leaned forwards and looked her right in the eyes. "Do you…do you really, truly, think that God is dead?"
…She did.
"Even if I did not believe that God is dead, or rather, even if he was not dead. The result remains the same." She took in another breath, bringing her eyes down and keeping them aimed for the table. "In accepting the idea that he is dead and acting upon it, I have betrayed everything I have ever believed in. Abandoned the principles I once lived by and spat upon the kindness shown to me by those who took me in."
A sharp intake of breath, the man grimaced at her, his expression cycled through several emotions before it ended on a strained one. "That is a very…that's not a healthy view for you to take. What…Suppose that God is dead for a moment, what about that is the thing that bothers you?"
She stared at him.
She stared very hard.
"Is…is that supposed to be a trick question?" A wheeze escaped her. "I tell you that there is a chance that the Lord is dead an-and you ask me what the problem with that would be? Is that honestly what you truly think-?"
"No, right-sorry." Swiftly raising his hands, the man slumped forwards and made a placating gesture, lowering his head into his palms and exhaling. "That…that wasn't how it was meant to come out. What I wanted to say was…the teachings of God don't become invalidated because he is dead, otherwise no one would listen to Jesus. So…what makes this different for you?"
Aside from the principle of the matter that the Lord was an entirely different matter than that of Jesus?
And that Jesus had returned to life.
The problem was a simple one.
"...I don't want to be a mistake."
The man jerked as if she had struck him, looking at her with a rather horrified expression. "What? I-who on earth told you something like that? Absolutely not! Don't think about something like that!"
Caught off guard by the somewhat visceral reaction from the man, Xenovia leaned from them with slightly widened eyes for a moment, then rolled her lips inwards and furrowed her brows. "It is not something that I need to be told. It is the truth. I devoted my life - my everything - to the belief that it was all in accordance with the Will of the Lord. It was all for the sake of the plan that the Lord made for everyone. Those that I…"
She glanced to the side. "Those that I killed were enemies of the Lord and deserved their punishment. They were evil and I was right. I was just. It was…There was a complete understanding of my place in the world. I knew, in my soul, that my life was as it should be. Yet…yet if it is not the Lord who has guided my hands, if it is the words of men that have steered my life all these years."
Falling forwards, she twisted her hands over and stared at her palms.
She could see it, even now.
The blood that coated her hands, that once might have brought her pride, she could now stare at only with apprehension.
A blink.
Her hands were clean once more, she raised her eyes up.
"...Before coming here, I would have declared you, your wife, the Devils and everyone else in this town who associated with them to be enemies of the Lord. They were sinners who deserved to be put to death, lest they corrupt the faithful and steer the righteous from the path. I would have…I would have killed them without a second thought as to who they were and what their situations might have been."
Clenching her fists, she drew her left hand close and pointed towards her chest, her jaw ground tight.
"How many times have I killed…on the word of someone who was just a man? What makes me different from just a regular killer? The Devils…I was rescued from death by two of the Satans."
Even speaking it out loud now sounded utterly ludicrous, and yet it had happened, there was no denying that it had happened.
The bark of laughter that escaped her was desperate, it was neither funny nor worth laughing over. But what else could she do but laugh at the absurdity of it all?
"They…they should have killed me for even existing and yet they just…they just thanked me for keeping their family safe and then just sent me on my way. Just like that."
Tilting her head, she gave the man a perfectly blank gaze.
"...I don't know if I was ever thanked by someone before that. But…but the Devils can call upon their leader in times of crisis and they will appear. They know where they stand and what they fight for…what have I been fighting for? What have I been killing for if all of it is just on the words of a mortal man who thinks they might know what God wants?"
"...What of the Angels?"
Xenovia clenched her jaw, it was a fair question from the man, if God was dead then it was likely the Angels ran Heaven. It was the next logical step, but it was…
"...The Angels are the messengers of the Lord and His Soldiers." She replied stone faced. "They enact the wisdom of God, higher than myself, but subject to the knowledge of the Lord. They…they are not Him. They are not the Lord in Heaven, they are…They merely carried out his words, passed along his messengers to humans. Wiser than me? Certainly…but not wiser than God."
The judgement of God was without question.
There was no denying the absolute wisdom that would have existed in his words but…but how long had God been dead for, if he was truly dead?
…The Great War.
Which was over five hundred years ago.
…Which meant that he was dead before she was ever even born.
"So…you don't have that security anymore."
"No. I don't." She snapped back at them, he winced but said nothing. A faint regret shifted through her at his reaction, it was an honest assessment of her current situation. She lacked the certainty that came with her purpose in life. That she had found - thought she had found - in the service of God.
Except God was dead.
What made her so different from any of the heathens throughout time who had claimed to do the work of the Lord while committing acts of evil? What made her so different from the likes of Valper Galilei?
The principle of it remained the same, even if she would never consider going to such vile lengths.
"I am just…I do not know what I am supposed to do anymore."
A faint creaking sound, the nurse leaned forwards ever so slightly. "So why come back here? Are you hoping to find something to replace that feeling?"
"...Yes? Maybe…I…" Her words failed her, sharply turning her head to the side and balling her hands into fists. The urge to punch something flooded through her, but she restrained it back down. She needed to find another method of venting rather than just through simple violence, it was a matter of something else. "...The Devils have their focus, they understand what they are and what they want…and it has been shown to me that they are not all the fiendish monsters that I have been led to believe."
The man frowned, a thoughtful turn of his lips as he glanced at the table briefly. "I can see how that would be appealing. Though you're pretty young, all things considered. Everyone goes through stages where they're absolutely certain they are going to be one thing and then wake up the next day and realise that…maybe they aren't."
Xenovia pulled her lips back. "This is not some mere-"
"I'm not saying it is exactly the same." With a wave of the hand and some gentle words, he offered a swift placation. "Obviously it's very different but I don't think having that sort of clear minded focus is all that good for you when you're young. When you're older? Sure, that sort of thing can be comforting. When you're a kid? Eh…it sounds more like a sort of prison to me. Knowing that this one path is the only one that matters for you."
"Does the knowledge not bring you comfort?" It brought her a great deal of comfort during her time as an exorcist. Free of all doubts and fears, knowing that her life was the best one that she could have lived. It seemed as though she had reached a manner of completion in her own life before…
Now it all felt like dust, her completion was nothing but a hollow dream.
"I think…you should be able to do what you want and find the path that makes you happy." Romani replied slowly to her, then waved his hand. "From what little I know, becoming a Devil isn't a small commitment and…really, I don't think that you're of the age where you should really be throwing yourself into something that is going to last the rest of your life."
Pointing to her, then continued on. "You've gone through something traumatic and you're looking for something to cling onto. A safety net…maybe being a Devil is that safety net, maybe it isn't, but you should at least think about it a little before you throw yourself right into the deep end." he grimaced, lowering his hand. "Especially if you can't take it back once you've made your choice."
It was as though this man was trying to needle doubts into her very being.
Not that he was succeeding, but she would admit that his words had some merit to them.
She likely knew more about the reincarnation of Devils than he did, she knew what manner of choice she would be making if she allied herself with the Devils and asked to be reincarnated, if they would even accept her in the first place.
Without Durandal, she was an unarmed knight. Nothing more and nothing less.
"...I do not believe there is anything else I can be now."
That was the simple truth of it.
She had been a soldier of the Lord for so long that she did not believe there was any other life she could adapt to now. There was nothing else that she could possibly say that would bring this to a change.
Being a Devil…was the only option she had left to her.
The only one that would provide some semblance to the life she had known for so long.
…Why quit doing that which she was most suited for.
"Are you going to say it is a mistake?"
She posed the question to the man, examining his expression for any sign of doubts or grievances. They appeared almost immediately, written upon his face like a tapestry. Almost painfully terrible at keeping his true thoughts from showing, yet he did not say a single thing. Rather, he just kept staring at her.
Eventually, he shrugged his shoulders and glanced to the side. "...I would say discuss this with your own guardian, but-"
She flinched at the mere mention of this.
How could she possibly try and discuss something like this with her guardian?
No…how could she ever face them again? What would she even say if they were here? Apologise for being so weak?
"That…I do not believe it would be best if she knew. In any way that mattered." Clearing her throat, she straightened out and looked the man in the eyes. Meeting his gaze with an unblinking stare. "I am excommunicated from the Church, we no longer have any relation with one another. All ties have been severed and I may consult her no longer for advice…and she is duty bound to…"
…The expression of the nurse crumbled after that, a rather pained look.
As though he was feeling her pain for her, maybe that was why she felt so hollow inside.
Was that some manner of magic of theirs, empathising with her pain so she didn't feel it?
It was-
Something cold trickled down her cheek, she blinked, frowning and then moved her hand up, wiping it away. Catching barely a glimpse of liquid on her fingers before she wiped it away. A single tear, no others came down to join it.
"...Suffice to say that I have nothing left."
"...I'm sorry." The man's expression tightened, his hands moved out, then paused and pulled back. As though he was afraid to do anything at all. "Really…I'm so sorry."
"...It is not your fault."
"That's…that's not the point." His head dropped, cupped in his hands with a long sigh echoing out from them a moment later. She watched in silence as the man coiled his fingers through his hair and pulled slightly, enough that it was probably uncomfortable for it.
It lasted nearly half a minute, he pulled his head up and leaned back into the chair.
"...Why come to me and not Rias and the others? You know they're all at the school, right?"
His voice sounded empty.
It was rather pitiable, he sounded just as affected by the news as her.
The mention of the Devils, however, brought a flash of shame to her mind as she recalled her encounter with them. The things that she had said and done were less than appealing.
Rather, she had been openly hostile and outright threatening to them all. She would not have been surprised in the least if they had tried to attack her on sight, it was very much something that she would expect from the Red Dragon Emperor, given how visceral his reaction had been to her words. Not to mention the Gremory Knight as well, they clearly hated her guts.
She probably deserved it as well.
"You…" Wetting her lips, the right words were difficult to find and just as troubling to articulate. "You are the only one who I believe I was on…less than hostile terms with. I waited until the Wi…"
She flinched at almost calling them the title again.
"...Until Asia Argento was away, then approached your home and waited for either the return of yourself or your spouse."
"...How long?"
"...Four hours."
The man smacked his lips gently, rubbing his hands over his face and sighing once more. Each time he did that, he looked as though he aged decades. "You…so you want me to do what exactly?"
"...I want to apologise for the way I spoke with them."
Romani blinked, then made a small noise, his arms folded over his lap, eyes lingering on her for a moment, nodding his head up and down. "You want to apologise…well, alright then. If you really feel bad about it, then I am sure that they would be willing to hear you out. It wasn't like you were all meeting under the best circumstances and…well…stuff happened since then."
Stuff, he called it.
She wasn't so certain that it was so easily swept aside, hostility was long and she still found it difficult to release her dislike of Devils purely on principle. She had little doubt that they would not have liked her for the same reason.
That was before she had done anything to earn their ire, which she certainly had with her comments.
Her face tightened, her hands moved down onto her lap and pulled hard at her clothes, balling them up into fists and lowering her gaze. The manner in which the man spoke was almost alarmingly optimistic.
Switching her gaze to his face, she searched for any sign of strain or doubt in his expression from his words. Yet she found nothing, still looking at her with an attempt at calming reassurance.
"...Would it…really be that easy?" Her words came slowly, each one filled with doubt. "The things I said to the Devils, the threats I made against them…would they really be so willing to accept an apology from me?"
To her surprise, the man did something she hadn't expected.
They laughed as if she had told a funny joke, her brief flash of indignation emerged on her face. Though it was tempered when the man caught her gaze and waved his free hand down, yet the amused smile remained on his lips.
When the wheezing came to a close, he leaned forwards and smiled good naturedly.
"You're a teenager who said some dumb things to people. It would be next to impossible to find anyone who hadn't done that before."
She blinked at his words.
"I do not believe that the two are comp-"
"Of course they are." Bringing up a hand, he pointed to himself. "Goodness knows that when I was your age, I said a lot of stuff that I would feel horribly embarrassed about saying now. I still probably get that from time to time, the whole point is that you're accepting that you feel bad about it. The regret, more than the words, is the important bit. Coupled with the need to make amends."
They brought his coffee to his lips and paused for a short moment. "I think that anyone who sees that you genuinely mean it, will understand that you're sincere in your apology. From there on…it's really up to them whether they accept it or not. Though apologies aren't so much about making someone forgive you as much as they are for making amends to yourself."
"...I do not know how many of my words I truly regret."
The admission came before she even realised it, cringing lightly to herself and awaiting a chiding remark.
Nothing came.
The man raised a brow. "You've been fighting Devils for a while, right? It's not something that I can understand all that well…I can't really say I like the idea of teenagers fighting and killing one another, but expecting you to immediately let go of all your feelings is a massive ask. I think starting small and working your way up is the best thing for you."
Starting small?
But…did that not seem such a low expectation for her?
…No, perhaps that was the point.
Apologising to the Devils for her words would be the first time she had done something like that, perhaps because it was such a relatively minor act in the span of her life that it felt so daunting.
"You should drink your hot chocolate."
Barely registering his words, she took hold of the mug and brought it to her lips, taking a small sip of it and lowering it back down.
…It was nice.
Something else peaked away at the corner of her mind, her gaze switched back towards the shelf on the wall, the framed pictures and the relatively small one that was lingering there. It was so out of place with the others, but that wasn't what drew her.
"...That photo…"
Her mutter earned a brief hum from the man, he looked up and glanced in the direction she was looking. "Which one? Ah, we had to get a couple down out of storage after the whole house raiding…I haven't seen half of those in years."
"...The girl."
"Ah, that one." The man adjusted himself, then pulled a light smile. "Took a small trip to Asia at the time, border between China and India. Was on a small trip in my youth…heck, I probably would have been around your age at the time. Think that was mostly what got me into medicine in the first place. Helped out briefly at a Hospital there. Volunteer work and all that."
Her eyes remained fixed, watching as the man rose up and moved across the room. They spoke in such a light tone of voice as they did, but Xenovia barely registered all of that.
His hands landed on the photo, taking it up.
His mutter barely caught her ears. "I wonder what happened with her…" he jerked, then turned around and offered a slight chuckle. "Yeah, sorry. Guess I was in a similar spot to you, not sure what I was really going to do with myself…bit of a dreamer without drive, as my parents would say. Went on a…small trip around the world to find myself."
She listened silently as the man continued, moving back across to the table and sitting himself down.
The frame was older by far, the photo was an old polaroid, worn slightly as a testament to its age.
"Ended up there and it all just clicked. Not really the hospital work which was really chaotic but…well, maybe I could have made it. Though I ended up running into her instead. Little girl in the photo with some illness, can't remember now. They were treating her at the time for something."
The smile on his face was small but significant.
"...Just sat down and talked with her most chances we got. I like to think I made her life easier and everything just clicked into place. Helping young people and that…volunteer work ended and we said our goodbyes-"
"What-" Her words felt like lead in her throat, her eyes darting from the man and towards the photo once again. Not quite finding the words she wanted to say, rather it felt like a surge of questions were ready to spill forth but she couldn't find any of them which were right. "...What did you talk with her about?"
If he was offended by the sudden question, he didn't show it.
Rather he just shrugged his shoulders. "Anything, really. Though this one time I did read her the little mermaid, I think…she got really addicted to all those books after that. I'd never seen someone so sad when they were told there wasn't a sequel to it." another pause, he cleared his throat and placed the photo back down.
Her eyes lingered on it for a moment, then darted back to the man.
"Anyway, the point is that sometimes things just click into place naturally. I found my, I suppose you could say purpose, in being a school nurse because it makes me happy to be someone who is just there…If this is what clicks for you, then that's all there is to it. You just need to work at it."
Forgetting the photo for a brief moment, she rolled her lips and nodded once, eventually replying. "I…I want to do this."
Romani regarded her silently, then hummed. "...Alright then. I'll pass a message along to Rias and you can talk between you. Just remember that forcing a choice because you feel you don't have one can be really bad. You're young, you could probably get a job as a policewoman or something."
Xenovia jerked at the suggestion.
"That…" Her lips thinned and her brows furrowed.
A mundane job?
…No.
Her head shook from side to side. "Whatever else, I could not ignore the danger posed to the innocence from those who would do them harm. Stray Devils are just as much a scourge to their own kind as they are to ours…I do not believe I could turn a blind eye to such things and-"
"Just a suggestion." The man defended himself quickly, rising up and moving across from her and into the kitchen. "I don't know if she'll be back yet, but you can wait around until she's ready for you either way. I don't have a problem with it."
This man…
Her brows furrowed, she turned in her seat and watched them enter the kitchen, eyes lingering on them.
She knew that he was probably the one she was hated by the least, yet all the same.
In the wake of all of this, there was a single question that burned in her mind.
"Why…why would you do all this for me?" She could not help but ask, furrowing her brows at the man and straining to get the words out. Romani turned around and raised his brows at her, his surprise at the question was rather puzzling. "And not just me, you did the same for Agent Bow…why…?"
Another blink. "I told you, didn't I? I don't need a reason to do this. Just because it is the right thing for me to do."
A beat, he placed his hands on his hips. "I didn't even do anything that went that far, to be honest. You're just a person who needs some help, a bit confused and rather troubled but at the same time…Maybe it's because I'm still new to all of this supernatural stuff. You're all just people to me."
There had to be more to it than that.
"Actually, have you ever fed birds?"
Had she what?
Her face twisted at the rather bizarre question, she leaned back and pinched her brows together. "Excuse me?"
"Okay, that was a weird thing to ask but if you've ever fed birds or ducks or whatever else. You're not really doing it because you know they're going to thank you." The man continued on. "The don't even realise it's a choice for you, they just eat all the food and then fly off. At the end of the day, all you get out of it is watching the birds eat. People still do it because it's kind. The bird isn't going to know that, but that doesn't make it any less kind."
Her eyes lowered slightly. "That sounds…"
She wasn't sure what to say it sounded like.
"I'm paraphrasing from a guy I met on a bench once." He chuckled rather lightly, moving a hand up and scratching his neck. "I probably messed up some bits but really, I'm just doing this because I think it is the kind thing to do. I'm not doing it because I want people to be grateful…I'm doing it so I can sleep good at night."
He winced. "Actually, that sounds a bit selfish when I phrase it that way…yikes."
With a shake of the head, he walked into the room.
True, he had said it was purely because he was a nurse when he wanted Agent Bow healed.
But this was…he was being serious.
Turning back around, she reached out and took the photograph into her hands and stared down at it for a moment.
Dark hair, barely visible violet eyes.
And three spots on the forehead.
The unmistakable image of a teenage Romani Archaman sitting at the bedside of a smiling young girl.
…To think she would have ended up by the side of someone who met her purely as a coincidence.
…Perhaps it all made sense now.
She could see how the girl in the photo might have been influenced, supposing Romani had not changed all that much during the years.
Footsteps followed by the voice of Romani.
"Akeno took a message for me, Rias still isn't back yet so she'll come down here once she returns from whatever she is doing."
Xenovia placed the photo back, then turned to the man and nodded her head once. There was a time when she might have been intimidated by the news, but now she felt only a sense of…she was not sure what she would call it. It wasn't excitement but it wasn't apprehension, perhaps it would be tension?
Whatever it was, she was sure she would eventually have a word for it.
Merely that now she was waiting.
Romani was a little surprised that Rias ended up in front of his house before Leona showed up, but that did save him the explanation of why Xenovia was in their living room and that he was too much of a bleeding heart to leave her in the cold.
"Akeno made it sound rather important." Rias began, stepping into the house and removing her shoes. "If you will pardon the intrusion."
He regarded her for a moment. "...Do Devils do that sort of thing back home?"
Rias jerked. "Excuse me?"
"The whole removing shoes thing and the pardon the-nevermind." He figured it wasn't worth getting worked up about in the first place. It was probably just a when in Rome thing, except rather than being in Rome, they were in Japan.
The red haired girl looked at him oddly for a few more seconds, then shook her head and stepped past him. "If you say so, I must admit, I was surprised to hear that it was you who wished to speak with me and not your wife."
A single beat, the girl winced and turned to him swiftly. "You haven't been cornered by my brother, have you?"
He blinked at her. "No?"
Then the weight of who her brother was fell on him like a sack of lead.
His eyes widened and his skin turned a touch paler. "W-was he going to? Is he going to just appear on my doorstep or something-?"
Rias quickly brought her hands up and waved them down, the look of relief was rather apparent. "I apologise for startling you, but it is merely that my brother can be somewhat…overbearing at times. I did not wish to think that we might have approached you personally."
The brief relaxation he felt was swiftly knocked aside by the idea that her brother was some sort of doting sibling.
"That aside…I would like to apologise to you for-"
He figured he knew what she was going to say. "If this is about not coming near me then I get it, I think we were all freaked out about the whole…" he silently pressed his fingers apart, spreading them like drawing a length of string and then making an explosion gesture with his hands.
"Yes…that." Rias shuffled a touch, then crinkled her brows. "You seem…better."
"I haven't passed out again, so that's better, right?"
She didn't look all that relieved about the news in the least, rather her concern remained visible on her face. "If that is what you measure success with…"
It took him a moment to realise how that might be a slightly cynical thing for him to say, but that didn't make it any less true. The fact he hadn't passed out again was something he was treating as a minor miracle unto itself. "Just coming to terms with everything, I guess…how is Asia by the way? I know she was staying for some after school activity with the rest of you."
Rias watched him for a brief moment, then answered, pulling out a rather proud smile. "She is doing quite well, I would say. She's certainly proven herself to be popular with some of the clients around Kuoh. Though I believe that poor Issei might be a touch envious about how swiftly she's managed to form contracts with them."
"Hasn't he been doing this longer?"
"Quite." She replied. "Though that isn't a mark against him, he's received nothing but praise by those he visits…However, I do not think that you invited me here just so that we could speak about the matters of my peerage. Involved as you might be with them, you could have asked Asia about it directly."
Romani winced a little, giving a small chuckle to himself and scratching the back of his neck. So she saw through all of that pretty easily, then again, it was sort of common sense.
"Yeah, sorry. I was just trying to keep the conversation light before we got into the main issue." Walking past her, he strode into the living room first and glanced towards the individual already seated in one of the chairs, her eyes cast towards the door and the glimmer of apprehension written across her expression.
"Oh? You've gotten me intrigued, Roman-sensei. What is it that could have you so…"
Rias trailed off, he heard her footsteps slow to a halt right behind him.
Turning around, he was greeted by the brief sight of a very shocked looking Rias, though it disappeared a fraction of a second later as her eyes swung towards him with a look that was all but demanding.
He figured that would be the initial response.
"...Alright then, perhaps you can provide some clarification on this, Romani?" She smiled at him, though it seemed more to have an edge to it. At least she wasn't immediately hostile to the presence of the teenager, so that was something at least.
"If you are troubled by my presence, then I would ask that you direct your ire to me, Lady Gremory."
Xenovia sharply rose from the chair, lowering her head into a bow and folding her arms behind her back, it was clearly a surprise for Rias, given the way she jerked at the suddenly formal way at being spoken to by the girl, her eyes darted from the exorcist and then to him for a brief moment, he watched intrigue flash through caution for a brief moment.
"If there is a problem, it is merely that I have preyed upon this man's goodwill. It is no fault of his own."
Alright, now that was a step too far.
"Hey, I wouldn't say you preyed upon my goodwill." He gently chided them, feeling a little bad about how they were talking about it. "It was still my choice to bring you in an all of that, so really I was just as much a bleeding heart that couldn't let it go…but yeah, Xenovia has…circumstances."
"...I would imagine so, given that she has so swiftly returned to the lair of devils." Rias remarked with a tone that was almost teasing, taking a single step forwards and wearing a smirk upon her lips. "So then, I'm rather interested to hear the reason as to why you have come back here? I do not suppose you are here to apologise for the rude things you said to my peerage?"
Romani almost winced at the joking way Rias spoke of it.
Because that was exactly what Xenovia was here to do.
The silence that followed, combined with his strained expression, clearly clued Rias into that very reason.
The smile on the face of the girl faded away, replaced by one of surprise, sending a shocked look to him and then to the exorcist. "Is that truly the reason you have come back? Well…I suppose I shall hardly insult you for such a thing, you said some rather hurtful things to them, but if you are genuine in wishing to make amends, I might be willing to hear you out."
Her head inclined. "That being said, I doubt this is a course of action that is approved by your peers. They would look down on trying to apologise to mere devils."
Xenovia wet her lips. "The Church and I are…I am no longer welcome within the ranks of the Church."
"...You…" Rias expression shifted, brows pinched and a look of shock came over her. "You have been excommunicated? It…Was it for the theft of the Excaliburs?"
"I assume that would be the official reason, yes." Xenovia nodded her head, raising herself back up and meeting the gaze of the Devil. "Though…the words of the abomination and their accusation of the Death of the Lord sowed doubt into my heart…Doubts that I pressed upon and inquired about."
"The Death of…" Rias muttered to herself, rolling her lips inwards and swiftly folding her arms under her chest. Her expression cycled through several emotions before it finally shifted into a rather piercing look. "I'm surprised. I assumed that you would have heard such words before, or at least in regards to accusations that you have been abandoned by them."
"Naturally, I have been told such before…though there was rarely evidence to accompany such things." They remarked with a shake of her head. "Twilight Healing being capable of healing Devils when Asia herself is clearly no witch was…Although perhaps it was the speed they excommunicated me. I fled quickly before my peers could take notice and left Durandal in their care."
Rias gave an understanding hum. "Yes, I assumed that you would have done. I doubt that the Burial Agency would be so willing to let that sword of Roland slip through their fingers."
The girl took in a breath and then nodded her head slowly. "Excommunicated by the Church and then you return here and seek an audience with me…I see." leaning back slightly, there was a faint twinkle in the eyes of Rias. "Could it be that you are seeking to ask something of me?"
Another slow nod of the head of Xenovia. "I…would request permission to join your peerage?"
"...I see." Rias muttered, stepping forwards and into the living room, her jaw rolled from side to side, then glanced towards him. "You look far from surprised, Roman-sensei, I suppose this was discussed prior to my arrival?"
"A little bit." He admitted with a shrug of his shoulders. "Though my advice was for her to hold off making any sort of immediate decisions before she really had a chance to examine all of them. No offence to you, but I'm not sure making a lifelong commitment in a spur of the moment choice is really a good idea."
The good news was that Rias looked more amused at his words, rather than offended. "While I should be irritated at you trying to convince people away from joining my peerage, I will not deny that you speak sense. This is not a choice that you shall be able to take back and in doing this, there is a chance you will find yourself on the opposite side to all those you once called your friends-no. You will become their enemy."
Xenovia kept her face blank, then replied. "I was their enemy in the moment I was excommunicated."
Romani tightened his features. "I wouldn't go that far…" they turned to him. "Even if you were all on the opposite side, you still worked together for the sake of something in common, right?"
"Mitigating circumstances." Rias replied with a wave of the hand, sighing lightly. "And something that is rather rare, I assure you. Perhaps that was one of the handful of times in thousands of years that Devils, Grigori and the Church have all banded together…Believe me."
That still sounded pretty grim.
He turned to Xenovia. "...I'm still going to tell you to wait…but it's not like I'm your guardian and I can't force you to do anything."
"...Your concern is appreciated, despite us being relative strangers." The girl replied slowly, the barest hint of a smile on her lips for a moment before it vanished. "But I have long since hardened my heart to this. I do not see another path forwards that would be acceptable and…It was the peerage of Lady Gremory that proved that there was more to Devils than I knew of. Devil you might be…but I do not believe you are evil."
Rias blinked slowly.
Then held her hand out to cover her mouth. "Fufufufufu~ A Devil who is not evil? My, my. Excommunicated and already saying such blasphemous things…But very well. Do you understand that you shall become mine in the single instant you accept? There shall be no turning back from this…But rest assured, you shall be well treated."
What the heck.
This sounded less like joining a club and more like becoming a pet.
He raised a brow at Rias, she caught his gaze in the corner of her eye and offered an unapologetic smile. He didn't know if she was doing this intentionally or not.
Xenovia nodded her head slowly. "I understand."
"...Well then, come along." Turning on her heel, Rias turned around and strode back towards the door and gave a light smile towards him. "I should thank you for this little gift, Romani-sensei…but you can rest assured, it would besmirch the Gremory name if I were to mistreat her in any way while part of my peerage."
"Are…You are taking my words at face value?" Xenovia blurted out after a second, before he could say anything.
Rias turned back around and blinked. "Have I reason not to do so? You've already demonstrated yourself to be a rather upfront girl, so I doubt you are going to lie now…Besides, aren't you getting a bit ahead of yourself by thinking you could lie to a Devil?"
The teasing smirk lingered for a moment, then it faded back into a small smile. "But if it would make you feel better, then I shall inform you now that I would be the least of your problems. Namely this is at the behest of Roman-sensei's kindness. If you were to abuse that…well…it would not be me you had to deal with."
Were they talking about Leona?
He frowned. "Hey…why are you treating my wife like she's some sort of boogeyman?"
"Is that how it comes across?" The manner in which Rias spoke informed him that she knew exactly what she was saying. Though she was quick to duck towards the door before he could give chase.
Raising an arm briefly before he lowered it again, shaking his head from side to side and glancing at Xenovia. "Just…keep in mind what I said. Even if it doesn't feel like you have a choice at the moment."
The blue haired girl thinned her lips, then nodded to him. "Thank you for your assistance, Romani Archaman."
"Your welcome…I guess."
It wasn't until about an hour later that Leona got back home.
"Sorry I'm late, I meant to call but I was running all over town strengthening the bounded fields for better detection and making sure that everything was triple checked."
He didn't really understand, but it sounded as though it was important.
Romani opened his mouth and replied from his seated position. "Asia is going to be back later, by the way, matters in regards to contracts or…Rias made it sound like a part-time job but I'm guessing there is a bit more to it than all of that?"
Leona emerged from around the doorway and into the room, folding her coat over her arm and briefly pausing. Rolling her jaw from side to side for a couple of moments in thought before shrugging. "That is a good enough way to put it. Though really, Devils rate success based on the number of contracts they can establish. Really, it's more like a customer service that nets you repeat callers. You show up and do something for them and then that's that."
That sounded…sort of dangerous.
"Uh…is that safe?"
Leona paused, then raised a brow at him. "About as safe as it can be, yes. Though really…even Asia is at least as strong as an adult man at the moment. This is before she starts growing her demonic energy."
…
His hands moved over his lap, folding them together and staring across at this wife.
She noticed his look and slowed her own movements, frowning lightly and laying her coat upon the sofa. "...Is there something the matter, Roman?"
"Not sure…but the Exorcist stopped by earlier, the Xenovia girl."
Her expression tightened swiftly, though it loosened when he waved his hand down. He didn't want to give her the wrong impression or anything. "She wasn't really…Things sort of went downhill for her after the whole thing and she's…in the same boat as Asia at the moment. Though it…well, she seems to think that God is dead."
"Because of what Fabro said?"
"There's probably more to it than that, but…" He glanced towards her, he knew that Leona was smart. She probably figured things like this out before him and the way that people had avoided addressing it, he'd have expected Rias to deny the idea as well, it did sound preposterous. "...You told Asia that the guy was lying."
Leona closed her eyes. "I said he might have been lying, yes."
"...But you're not that sure?"
"Whether he was lying or not, that is so far and above my station that the news doesn't affect me either way." She replied smoothly, opening her eyes once again and looking down at him. "I said what I said for the sake of Asia. I cannot be certain that God is dead, but I cannot claim with any real certainty that he is alive either. I do not know…Because Fabro was right. There are flaws in the Sacred Gear system that should not exist."
He kept himself quiet as she spoke.
"Suffice to say that I doubt those would exist if God was really paying attention to all of it. Maybe he left them in place purely because they could be so powerful and he wanted to give people an edge, but I'm not God and I'm not going to claim I know how he thinks."
A smile crept on her lips.
"Only that a fellow inventor would probably appreciate that sort of interesting coincidence. Think of it like a glitch that you just leave in place because the result is too incredible to correct…But the likes of Twilight Healing being able to heal Devils? No…that is not one of those bugs…And I doubt Asia can affect a Sacred Gear."
So that was that then.
Leona wasn't sure, but she was probably leaning towards a yes.
He leaned back into his chair and thinned his lips.
The news was…less than what he had hoped for, but it was more for the sake of Asia than for himself, all things considered.
"Is this…what you wanted to talk with me about?"
"...No." He exhaled. "Xenovia is probably going to join the peerage of Rias so…"
"I figured as much, being excommunicated from the Church and then coming here, there weren't very many reasons why someone would do that. Still though…I can't imagine you were very onboard with the idea."
His lip twitched ever so slightly. "Why do you say that?"
"Because I imagine you'd think a teenager like her would be a little young for making such a life altering decision like that."
"...Yeah." He nodded his head. "But I can't really do anything to stop her either. All I did was just give her a warning and that was that. The most I could do, all things considered."
"I'm sure you have some very sage advice."
"I'm being serious here."
"What makes you think I'm not?"
He flinched a little and leaned forwards, resting his arms on his knees and looking Leona in the eyes. "...Do you think it would be possible for me to learn magic?"
The smile on Leona's face vanished instantly.
Her face turned into a perfect mask.
Impossible to get a single emotion from her.
"...Romani Archaman. This is not the sort of answer that you-"
"Just…yes or no, please."
"...Yes." She eventually spoke out. "It would be possible for you to learn magic, but that is not something that-"
"Can you teach me?"
"...Why?"
"...Because I don't want to be useless."
Leona exhaled and moved towards him, crouching down in front of him and reaching forwards, taking his hands into her own. Her grip was tight, her fingers were either too cold or his were too warm. "You are not useless. There are people alive out there because of you. You did that, Romani. You saved them. Even excluding the…whatever it was, you saved people with your eyes."
"And they almost got hurt because of me…" He quietly argued back. "I can see danger before others, I can see it coming…but I can't do a single thing about it. Someone gets hurt in front of me and I can't even do a single thing to help them. Not you, not Issei, not Asia…not anyone else. I could try and it would never work."
Lowering his gaze, he tightened his own grip around Leona. "I just feel like a burden and I…I don't want you to have to worry about me. I don't want all of you to feel like you're walking around eggshells just being near me. That's it."
His eyes flickered up, meeting hers.
"You do…You've all protected me so many times…I just want to return the favour a little. Or at least make sure you don't need to worry about protecting me all the time. Just…I'm not asking to shoot beams or-or make tidal waves but…but just something small to help you just as much as you help me."
"Romani…it isn't about me demanding recompense for doing all this for you-"
"But it's about equal partnership, right?" He offered a tiny smile. "I should at least be able to make my wife's burden a little less…shouldn't I?"
"You…" Leona's expression tightened, she dropped her head forward and thudded her forehead against their joined hands. Saying nothing for several seconds. "...You're serious about this?"
"...As serious as I can be."
"...It'll be tough, don't feel pressured to force yourself."
"...I managed to pass medical school, you know?"
"Heh, yes, you did…" She brought her head up and hummed. "And you did manage to learn several languages…I suppose you're a little amazing as well when you put your mind to things, aren't you?"
"I don't know about that…"
"...Fine."
Nodding her head slowly, Leona rose to her feet.
"Alright then, Roman…if you feel that strongly about it, then I can teach you a bit of magic. Nothing violent but…but just enough that you can keep yourself safe, alright?"
He smiled up at her. "Thanks."