Puffing slightly, Petra walked as quickly as she could to the Night Elf base. While she enjoyed being pregnant, her fast-growing bump meant she could not get about quite as quickly as she was used to. She returned Lyra's smile as she approached.

"Hey slow down, Tolman sees you red faced and practically running when you should be taking it easy, he will have a fit!"

"I love my husband very much, but he worries too much. Besides this is important, have you seen him?"

"He's inside. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, better than alright. Do you remember Will? The human lad who paid for my family to come here. You met him once."

Lyra swallowed painfully. "I remember."

Petra gripped her arm, her eyes shining. "He's alive Lyra, he didn't die at Ostagar after all!"

"What? How?" She listened stunned as Petra explained the contents of the Poster on the Chantry board. "Andraste's Champion!"

"I know! I always knew special things would happen for him. I have to tell Tolman."

Lyra nodded as Petra hurried into the building, feeling in a daze, startled when she found herself outside of the Chantry having no recollection of going there, staring at Jayden's likeness on a poster in the centre of the Chantry Board. Her fingers slowly traced his face; her throat constricting as she felt tears burn. "How is it possible?" She turned startled as a hand rested lightly on her waist.

"I thought I might find you here." Gilon stated gently. "Petra was so excited we all heard. Tolman looked fit to burst."

"I …"

Gently cupping her cheek Gilon pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "It is good he lives."

Smiling Lyra pressed herself to his chest. "I love you so much."

Wrapping his arms around her Gilon pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. Glancing at the poster he wondered how Jayden would react towards him, assuming he continued to survive and came home.

xXx

Looking up startled as the door burst open, Captain Marcus frowned as a flushed Gawain rushed into the office, a parchment waving wildly in his hand.

"He's alive!"

"Shut the door man and tell me what you are talking about." He stared at the poster Gawain laid flat on the desk. Swiftly reading it Marcus leaned back in his chair whistling softly.

"I should go to him."

"And how exactly would you explain that? He is still hiding who he truly is, or had you forgotten that?"

"I should be protecting him! I can't just wait here and do nothing!"

"We protect Gwaren so he has a home to come back to; that Gawain is what we do."

xXx

Discovering Ayanna and the others at the cottage was a welcome sight to all of the Wardens, everyone greeting each other enthusiastically. Noting the curious glances towards Zevran, Rathnal took Ayanna's group inside to update them on what had happened.

Alistair started pottering around the garden as the door closed, pulling out weeds feeling his ache for Bethany almost overwhelm him. He smiled slightly as Faren joined him, the pair quietly working needing to keep busy, each with their own reasons.

"Sereda is Queen of Orzammar!" Ayanna gasped, having been concerned about not seeing her outside and immediately asking where she was. "How in the Maker's world did that happen?" The Wardens listened attentively, each astonished and horrified by the events that had unfolded in Orzammar. "How is Faren?" She asked cautiously, glancing to the door in concern.

"Doing better than I think I would in his place, but it hit him hard there is no denying that."

"The ground just keeps shifting." Perin muttered. "The Archdemon getting into our heads more than those bloody dreams is horrifying!"

"It turned us against each other." Rathnal murmured, shuddering as he remembered the terrible things he had said to Jayden and the arguments he had started with his fellow Wardens. "Morrigan and Serris will adapt your broaches to minimise the chances of the Archdemon being able to do that. From now on you wear them at all times whether we are near Darkspawn territory or not."

"And the new guy, is he a recruit?" Aedan asked curiously.

"That is Zevran, an Antivan Crow who was contracted by Arl Howe to take Lady Delilah and Will to him in Denerim and dispose of the rest of us."

Aedan stared at Rathnal in horror, forcing himself to stay sitting and keep his mouth shut before he said something that would reveal who Jayden was, but his guts were churning in fear and fury.

Frowning darkly as he glanced out of the window, Peter turned back to his Commander. "Any particular reason he isn't tied up then?"

"Believe it or not he is an ally." Rathnal held up his hands at the outburst of protests. "Rinna knows him well and having travelled with him for a time now I believe it when he says it was just business. Now I know this situation is certainly not ideal, but he is proof Arl Howe intended to kill Wardens."

"What does he want with Will?" Rory asked unnerved.

"Maker knows." Rathnal muttered. "He squired for him when younger, maybe it has something to do with that. Whatever his reasons we will need to be on our guard, more than usual. So, what about the south?"

Ayanna slowly ran her fingers through her hair. "Falling to the Darkspawn at an alarming rate. We made an ally of Arl Wulff after rescuing two of his sons. He is sending some of his people north, the young and elderly, basically anyone who can fight apart from those few sent to protect the refugees are staying for as long as they can. He won't leave his land without a fight."

"It might just slow the spread further north if they can hold out." Rathnal mused. "But he is taking a big risk."

Shifting slightly Aedan shook his head. "He was adamant."

Rathnal glanced at Perin. "So, this light spell of yours, sounds like it saved your hides a few times."

Flushing Perin shook his head. "It drains my mana too fast, I'm useless for a while after it."

"But as a last resort it sounds damn useful. I want you to talk with Serris and Morrigan, see if they know it or can adapt it to be less draining. Ayanna, I want you involved in that discussion too, I want you all able to use it. Maybe speak to Enchanters Dylan and Reece if you can, it would be useful for them too. Alright so I need to speak to the nobility and then after a few days to rest up I intend to find the Dalish, Theron will hopefully make that search a lot easier than it might have been. So, for now take time to relax, it isn't often we get that chance and remember Zevran is an ally, but I'm not asking you to trust him."

Zevran inwardly sighed at the suspicious looks of the Wardens as they left the cottage, glad when Alistair took him inside. He glanced around the cottage finding it neat and comfortable with clearly a woman's touch. He sensed there had been much joy within these walls. He glanced at Alistair who was gazing at everything with a mixture of love and heartbreak. "You were married I think."

"I still am."

"Ah, then where is your lady love?"

"Safe." Alistair muttered, turning away from him.

"Forgive me, but I thought Wardens cut all ties to family."

Alistair felt his anger rise, but the look on Zevran's face when he turned back to him was simple curiosity not malicious in nature. "I didn't join the Wardens willingly; it was forced upon me." He sighed at Zevran's questioning gaze. "I contracted the Blight sickness."

"I see; a most terrible fate."

Leading the way through to the smaller of the two bedrooms Alistair hesitated, this was to be their baby's room. He swallowed down the pain and longing. "You can sleep in here; you won't be alone given how many of us there are."

"I do not mind company."

Alistair shook his head at the assassin's lascivious grin. "Keep it in your pants Zevran, this room is to be my child's and I won't have you or anyone else defiling it!"

Zevran immediately became serious. "Of course, I understand."

Alistair hesitated glancing around the room imagining a crib and toys; shaking himself he left the room, leaving Zevran watching after him.

Placing his pack on the floor Zevran sat down, his back against the wall and closed his eyes, listening to the quiet conversations of the Wardens as they came inside, an old habit he had found very useful over the years.

xXx

Having made sure Zevran was being subtly watched over Rathnal made his way to the estate, surprised to find Jayden in the study still waiting to see Cailan, Fergus and Teagan.

"Brother Genitivi and Weylon are here, I think they were a buffer to soothe any rage, which of course worked." He handed Rathnal the letters. "I think you are right; I don't think there is any way out of this for me."

Frowning Rathnal read over the letters. "Well at least the Queen doesn't sound angry."

"But she will be." Jayden muttered leaning against the wall taking the letters back. "She is as trapped by the Chantry in this as I am. I am almost relieved I won't be going to Denerim any time soon."

"I know you two have been at odds for a while now, but surely …"

"She will be furious about this Rath, you don't understand, it is as though she thinks I do everything to go against her. She will be furious I went after the Ashes in the first place."

"She couldn't have expected you to stand by with Oren's life on the line."

"Oren's survival is probably the only reason this letter is as reasonably written as it is, but I know this will only have fuelled her anger towards me."

"Is that why you are fighting against this? Because of her?"

"I'm fighting against it because I don't want to be under the control of the Chantry, but yes, I would rather my sister not hate me any more than she already does."

"It will work out, somehow."

Jayden forced a weak smile before turning to the door as it opened, Cailan, Teagan and Fergus joining them.

"Welcome back." Cailan gave a warm smile gesturing to the table, everyone taking a seat. "Let us get started."

xXx

Relaying the events of Orzammar took more time than Rathnal had anticipated; Cailan in particular wanting to know every detail of their interactions within the dwarven city and their journey in the Deep Roads.

"A Warden Queen." Cailan murmured. "I would imagine that is a first for the Order."

"I know precious little of the Order's history." Rathnal admitted. "But I imagine the First Warden will have something to say about it."

"I imagine he will aim to use it for his advantage; he is that kind of man." Jayden stated coldly.

"You know the First Warden?" Teagan asked curiously.

"Not personally, but at one point he was rather eager to meet me. I think he thinks I can see the future. At the moment he thinks I am dead, however now that this Champion nonsense is being advertised no doubt, he will discover I am still alive. With luck he will have lost interest, if not the Chantry can deal with him."

"Being named Champion might have its advantages." Rathnal stated his gaze urging Jayden to accept what could not be changed and hoping it conveyed his friend would have his support. "There is one more issue I need to bring up. The true reason we were delayed when we left Orzammar was due to interference from Arl Howe. I did not say anything at the time as there was nothing you could do, however there are things you should know." As he explained he saw their glances to Jayden who remained silent having expected their alarm. "We have the Crow; he has agreed to testify and says once we go to Denerim he can obtain proof of the contract. Having his daughter and former squire brought to him of course might not be seen as an issue for many, however the part where there are to be no witnesses and Arl Howe was aware they were travelling with Wardens, should give at least some pause for any who would support him. Wardens are essential in a time of Blight after all."

"It might even lend some credence to the suggestion he is being controlled by Orlais." Jayden mused. "After all, if there were no Wardens in Ferelden, we would have to turn to the Wardens out with the country and conveniently the Orlesian Wardens are already at the border, accompanied by some of the Orlesian army of course."

"It is certainly worrying." Cailan muttered.

"Why would this Crow do that?" Fergus demanded.

"He has a past with Warden Rinna. He is being watched at Alistair's cottage. I have accepted him as an ally, but I am not foolish enough to trust him, that must be earned."

Teagan shifted uncomfortably. "How did he know his daughter was travelling with Wardens not to mention where you were going?"

Jayden met his gaze. "Taoran Hawkwind, a Blackstone Irregular; he apparently tracked us down to Rainesfere and then followed. It was his men who attacked us before we reached Orzammar, but there was no sign of him. He met with Zevran, the Crow at Orzammar, passed on all the details he had of our group and I assume returned to Denerim."

"His father is a good man, but Taoran is a different cast altogether." Teagan muttered, shaking his head. "I do not believe Raelnor would be involved in this. What concerns me even more is that Rainesfere was obviously being watched and we had no knowledge of it. Perhaps it is time to increase security. I could have some guards disguised of course, creating a larger perimeter around the estate." He shook his head. "These are truly terrible times."

Rathnal pushed back his chair. "I must get back to my Wardens, a day or two rest and we must move on."

Fergus stood as Rathnal did. "Commander I would be grateful if you would meet with us tomorrow morning once you are rested from your journey, I have received word from Bann Alfstanna regarding Highever, Wardens have been sighted on the Storm Coast. I know you are eager to find the Dalish clans, but I think this might be important."

Rathnal nodded. "Of course, I know of no Wardens assigned to the Storm Coast so we need to find out who they are."

"Captain I would be grateful if you could stay, there are things we must discuss." Fergus stated, his tone giving no room for argument.

Giving Jayden a sympathetic look Rathnal took his leave.

Fergus sat back down and leaned forward. "There is much to discuss, but first this incident in the mountains with Lady Delilah …"

Jayden met his gaze. "Just be plain Fergus."

"Did you …?" He shifted uncomfortably. "Were you …?"

Sighing wearily Jayden shook his head. "Lady Delilah's virtue is intact; I am sure you can have Senior Enchanter Wynne determine that; she is bound to be on the war path once she finds out anyway." He sighed at their uncomfortable looks. "We are capable of restraining ourselves until we are married." He saw Cailan's cheeks redden out of the corner of his eye lowering his gaze not having meant to suggest anything about the King's own activities.

"It had to be asked." Fergus muttered trying to cover his own discomfort.

"Well since we are all together, I have something I wish to discuss; how do we make this Champion nonsense disappear?"

Cailan sighed, knowing they needed to deal with Jayden's reluctance to take on this new role before it spiralled into trouble. "Would it be so bad? You would be a hero."

"I'm not interested in being a hero! I just want to help end the Blight and then go home."

"To have a chance of winning this our people must have hope."

"Then you step up and give them hope! You and Anora are a good team despite personal issues and your current lack of memory."

"I am not Andraste's Champion."

"Neither am I." Jayden snapped. "How could I possibly take on a role as Andraste's Champion? What happened in the Deep Roads should tell you I am not that!"

"You are not to blame for the Blight." Cailan stated wearily. "Even the Warden Commander has emphasised that!"

"I can't do this."

"Not even for your people, your country?"

Jayden felt cornered, trapped by everything his father had instilled into him.

"We have a duty to Ferelden." Cailan persisted.

"We do, you have a duty to be its King and I don't see you fulfilling that!"

"When my memory returns, I will be fit to perform that duty, as it stands, I am not. There is no such hindrance to your ability to perform this duty. Besides which, do you truly wish to stand on the wrong side of the Chantry?"

"I can live with it." Jayden muttered. "More than I can live with being something I'm not." He sighed softly realising how that sounded given his situation. "I won't live another lie." He stated forcefully.

"If I may." Teagan gently interrupted. "This is hardly a lie. It is true is it not that Holy Andraste healed you?" He waited until Jayden gave a reluctant nod. "It is also true that she gave you a task, an alarmingly dangerous task which you completed." He smiled slightly as Jayden gave another reluctant nod. "To give an example the Empress of Orlais has a Champion, one she appointed because he completed a task of worth to prove himself to her. Is that not what you did?"

"It … I … this is different!"

Fergus stood and moved around the table sitting next to him and gently gripping Jayden's shoulder. "There is no undoing this now the Grand Cleric has made sure of that. You must find a way to make peace with it."

xXx

Driving hard against the practice dummy Jayden only halted as Sten approached.

"You are disturbed by the title that has been bestowed upon you?"

"You're damn right I'm disturbed."

"We go by titles under the Qun. It provides order, understanding of one's role within a larger whole, it gives us purpose. We are chosen for each role because we embody that role. Would you be doing anything different to what you have been doing as Captain?"

Jayden met his gaze. "I suppose not. Not at the moment at least."

"I see."

"What do you see?"

"A man fighting against what he is. Perhaps you should ask yourself why."

"Because it's a damn lie and I am sick to death of lies! Added to that I don't want the Chantry dictating my every move; dictating who I am and what I do!"

"It seems to me that having met this Andraste you all revere, you answer to her, not the Chantry."

Jayden stared at him startled. "They won't accept that! The Chantry sees itself as speaking for the Maker and Andraste. They get rid of what doesn't fit with what they want. They wiped out whole sections of the Chant of Light because it involved the elves. Why would I want to be part of anything that professes to include all and yet shuns all but humans and a lot of them too!"

Sten remained silent for a moment before nodding. "The Qun wastes nothing and no-one. Perhaps as Champion you can influence change."

"Change the Chantry? I have more chance of …"

"Meeting Andraste?" Sten interrupted. "We each have a role to fulfill, running away from it does not change it and you do not seem to be a man who runs because something is difficult."

Jayden watched him turn and leave, glancing down to the sword in his hand. He turned as he heard footsteps glancing to Oren who pulled himself onto the wall and sat watching him. "You have that look on your face that tells me you are bursting to ask a question."

"No, not really. It's just you look angry and kind of sad. Is it because you don't want to be the Champion?"

Hesitating Jayden smiled slightly. "Can't keep much from you, can we?"

Oren grinned and shook his head. "You know you were really good at making me feel less scared. I bet you could do that for lots of people now." He glanced at Jayden thoughtfully. "Andraste won't mind you know."

"She won't?"

Oren shook his head. "When she brought me back, she told me we all have things we have to do and that these things might seem scary and too big, but she is always with us." With a smile Oren jumped off the wall. "I'm glad you're back."

Jayden stared after him as he ran off, wondering if Fergus had put him up to that and deciding he wouldn't put it past him at this point. Sighing he sheathed his sword as he saw Ellowyn approaching. "You too?" He shook his head at her puzzled look. "It doesn't matter."

"We need to talk." Heading inside Ellowyn led the way to her room ignoring Jayden's protests of how that might look.

Sitting on the window seat Jayden watched Ellowyn pace the floor feeling her increasing agitation. "Ell talk to me."

"If the Grand Cleric knew who you are …"

"She does." He interrupted gently, almost smiling as she stopped mid stride. "Here see for yourself."

"This is even worse!" She muttered quickly reading the letters. "She gets her claws into you now and once you are Teyrn …"

"I know."

Sighing, Ellowyn settled on a chair. "I cannot think of any way out of this for you." She muttered in frustration. "And believe me I have given it much thought."

"At least you are trying to think of something, everyone else just thinks I should accept it."

"Accept being a puppet of the Chantry, I think not!" She hesitated. "Why are you smiling?"

"It's just a relief that I'm not alone in thinking this Champion business is nonsense."

Ellowyn shifted slightly. "That is not exactly what I think. I saw you healed in Holy Andraste's flame, she spoke to you, in a form other than just a voice as she did with the rest of us. I do happen to think given the task she gave you that you are her Champion; what I do not agree with is the Chantry just forcing it on you without even a discussion and I know they mean it for their own ends." She winced at Jayden's exasperated sigh.

"If Holy Andraste had wanted me as her Champion would she not have said so, explicitly I mean?"

Tapping her fingers on the arm of the chair Ellowyn frowned slightly. "The Chantry asserts she did such by giving you the task and that may be so, but you are right it was not explicit. We will figure this out I promise, but for now we need to discuss another issue. Do you still have your pinch of the Ashes?"

"I do."

"Do you still intend to use them for Dairren?"

"Yes of course if he needs them; I take it the spells haven't helped?"

Shaking her head, Ellowyn gently clasped his hand. "If anything, the situation is far worse, yet he is likely to refuse to take them, I need you to be firm."

"Why would he refuse?" He sighed at her uncomfortable look. "He swore you to silence, but there is a reason?"

"Yes, to both counts."

"Would this have anything to do with Arl Eamon?" He shook his head at Ellowyn's silence and the expression that spoke volumes. "The Arl might not know who I am, but he will find out I will not bend to his will any more than my father would."

Ellowyn couldn't help the smile that lit her face. "I knew we could count on you."

xXx

Moving swiftly along the corridor Jayden stopped at the room that had been given to Dairren. He had been so lost in his own distress that he hadn't given a thought to the Ashes. Thanks to Ellowyn he had gotten his priorities straight and given the situation he was more determined than ever that Dairren should have the Ashes. Knocking on the door he waited impatiently meeting his friend's exhausted gaze as he opened the door.

"It's good to have you back." Gabriel whispered, slipping out of the room. "Dairren is sleeping." He worried at his lip. "So, what do we call you now, Captain or Champion?"

"Captain." Jayden stated firmly. "And Will when we aren't being formal. The less I hear about this Champion nonsense the better."

"I guess that tells me what you think of it. Though you might want to have a word with Terrance, that pedestal he has you on got a couple of feet taller when we heard the news."

Cursing softly Jayden shook his head. "This is a damn nightmare, but not something I can do anything about right now. Lord Dairren is another matter. Ellowyn said things are worse, tell me what's been happening."

Leaning against the wall Gabriel swallowed painfully, his expression revealing his distress. "Dairren … he can walk, but he experiences constant excruciating pain. There ... there is nothing more Senior Enchanter Wynne can do."

"I knew we should have used the Ashes before I left." Jayden muttered.

"Do you still have them?" Gabriel whispered, barely daring to hope.

"I do. I think we should wake him." Following Gabriel into the room he hesitated at how pale Dairren was, dark marks beneath his eyes telling of pain and too little sleep. He moved to the window watching as Gabriel gently woke him, letting Dairren adjust from the fog of sleep, offering a smile as their gaze met.

Gritting his teeth as he sat up Dairren clenched the sheets biting back the groan. "You have been a while Captain."

"Trouble with the dwarven nobility and the Deep Roads." He took the precious pouch from his pocket. "I still have the Ashes and as I promised they are yours."

Dairren stared at the pouch before shaking his head. "I cannot … take them." He shuddered as his chest felt as though a great weight was on it, each breath a struggle. "You may yet ... have need of them."

"May I be honest with you Lord Dairren?"

"Of … course."

"Lady Ellowyn and Sister Leliana had a purpose in getting their pinch of the Ashes, Brother Genitivi will have given his to the Chantry I suppose and Lady Delilah and I took the pinches with no specific reason other than just in case and she used hers for the Arl. That leaves me with a terrible decision. When should I use them? What injury is serious enough? Besides, I had already made it clear I intended them for you before Orzammar, that hasn't changed just because the situation is different. If anything, your situation is worse given the level of pain you are experiencing. Look upon it as a favour to me; I will drive myself mad if I keep them much longer."

Dairren stared at him stunned. "I …" He glanced at Gabriel and then lowered his head. "The truth Captain ... is that I am not worthy of them." He ignored his lovers choked noise and forced himself to look at the Captain, each movement of his body causing his nerves to scream in pain. "This is my penance for my mother's death."

Biting his lip hard feeling grief swell, Jayden took the seat next to the bed. "I lost my mom when I was young, her death was brutal and I blamed myself, punished myself every day, right up until the Gauntlet, but what I saw there, what I experienced made me realise her death wasn't my fault, just as your mother's death wasn't yours."

Dairren gritted his teeth refusing to cry. "My father said I should have died too … that at least would have been honourable. He was right."

"He's wrong. Trust me in this, your mother would not blame you for her death, she would want you to live, to love, to find peace. You don't deserve this pain and I don't believe you must endure it." Taking Dairren's hand, Jayden placed the pouch of Ashes on his palm, curling his fingers gently over it. "They are yours now to do with as you will."

Staring at the pouch Dairren realised he was trembling. "What was it like ... to be in Her presence I mean?"

"Terrifying and beautiful and inspiring. I … I felt a love that transcends anything I have ever experienced. Unconditional and all encompassing." He smiled warmly. "She is truly wondrous."

"Did … did you feel worthy of Her healing?"

Jayden hesitated. "No, not at first, but I was glad of it. Dairren the Ashes can give you a second chance and I can't say for certain we will survive what will come, or that we will remain free of injury, it would be madness to expect that. However, it gives us a chance to help, to play whatever part we are meant to." He rose and smiled. "I hope you will be with us Dairren, you are a courageous man and I would be proud to face the darkness with you."

Swallowing unable to speak Dairren watched him as he left the room before staring at the pouch and then to Gabriel. "I could get injured again; I could die. I have no right to use these."

Gabriel took the seat close to him and gently clasped his hand. "Will is right, we have to stop the Blight or no-one will survive."

Dairren glanced again to the pouch and bit his lip, it was a second chance and now the Ashes were in his possession he realised he couldn't let them slip through his fingers.

xXx

Author Note: Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed.