Settling at the edge of the waterfall, the truth potion tucked safely in an inner pocket of his coat, Jayden closed his eyes and let himself have a moment. He gave a shuddering sigh as the laughter he; Rath, Zef and Lyra had shared as children led to rather more passionate memories of himself and Lyra in this very place. "This is a nightmare." He muttered, looking up sharply as he heard footsteps, getting quickly to his feet as Lyra made her way down to him.

"I thought you might be here." She hesitated seeing how uncomfortable he looked. "About earlier, my abruptly leaving …"

"It's alright Lyra, I understand."

"Do you because I barely do." She nipped nervously at her lower lip, changing the topic trying to calm her wildly beating heart. "So, more Darkspawn are coming. You don't think the Archdemon will come here, do you?"

"I hope not, but we have Rath and Ali if it does."

"Only two Wardens!"

"It only takes one of them to strike the killing blow."

"You make it sound easy."

"Hardly. The Archdemon is …" He sighed and shook his head. "Just pray you never see it."

"It is just a dragon though right. I mean it isn't really an Old God, is it?"

"Whether it is an actual God or not, the Archdemon is Urthemiel."

"How can you possibly know that for sure?"

"Because I've had that thing in my head twice now, once in the Deep Roads and once at Ostagar before we came here. It is Urthemiel and he is cruel and has no mercy. He will torture and slaughter children as easily as adults. All he cares about is power and added to the power he already has; he now has the power of the blight."

"What do you mean it was in your head?"

"The stories are true Lyra; he can infiltrate people's minds. He can take your memories and twist them." He swallowed uneasily as Lyra moved closer.

"What did he do to you?"

"It doesn't matter."

"It does to me. Tell me."

Sighing in resignation Jayden met her cautious gaze. "He twisted one particular memory. I was never rescued. I was taken to the emperor and he cut off my hands a finger at a time to send to my dad." He watched the colour drain from her face. "He made me a child again, I knew nothing of my life beyond that age and the pain felt real." He trembled slightly as she gently took both of his hands in her own. "Lyra you can't underestimate what the Archdemon is capable of."

"You can't face that thing again."

"What choice do I have?"

"Run! Run as far and as fast as you can."

"Where am I supposed to go? If we don't stop it here the Blight will spread."

"That thing tortured you, it wants to kill you!"

"It wants to kill us all."

"But it has a personal grudge against you, that much is obvious."

"The feeling is mutual."

"You are not an Old God! You have no power, no way to fight it!"

"That thing tortured me and my friends. The horde has already killed so many people. It is my duty to try and end the blight. Together we can stop it. The Wardens have gathered support from The Circle and Orzammar and are working right now on getting support from the Dalish."

"Don't be so eager to face this thing again."

"The only thing I am eager for is this to be over. I don't want to go near it again, I am so terrified of it the thought almost paralyses me, but if I can give the Wardens even a moment more to take that thing down, then I would give my life for that."

"I don't know if you are stupid or brave."

"Maybe I'm neither, maybe I'm just like everyone else fighting for my home and my people."

"Your people don't even know who you are!"

"What does that matter?"

"I remember loving your courage, now I wish you were a coward."

Closing his eyes Jayden gently squeezed her hands. "Right now, I'm not sure I'm not." He gave a rueful smile at her questioning glance. "I want to run Lyra, it's taking every ounce of willpower I have not to."

"It tore me apart then I thought you had died at Ostagar." Tears slipped down her cheeks. "It left a void in my heart so big I could barely breathe. If I didn't have Gilon I think I would have died from grief. I can't go through that again."

"Lyra I …"

"I thought my feelings had dimmed, not gone but took up a smaller space in my heart because of my love for Gilon, then you walk back in here and I love you so much it hurts."

"I feel it too." He stated softly gazing at their clasped hands, wanting her in his arms. "I want everything I can't have with you."

"You had to go to the bloody tree. You ruined everything!"

Swallowing hard as she pulled her hands from his, Jayden sank onto a rock and sighed. "I have to live with that too, you know. You think it didn't tear me up getting that letter. That you loved someone else, that you married someone else!" He glanced up meeting her gaze. "Why did you come looking for me Lyra?"

"I just … I don't know." She wanted to go to him, lose herself in the dream they had once shared.

Standing Jayden put the rock between them anxiously rubbing his neck. "We shouldn't be here together alone."

"Do you really want me to go?"

"Of course I don't!" Jayden snapped. "But what I want doesn't matter. You chose Gilon, I don't blame you for it, but we both have to live with it."

"I love you and I know you love me!"

"But you were right, what we had was a dream, nothing in that respect has changed. I am still the son of a Teyrn despite the current circumstances and you have a husband. Even if we could somehow make it work, we are not free to even try. One day I might come home properly and when that happens, we need to find a way to be around each other. Without … without this."

"I'm not sure how we go back to being friends."

"Maybe we don't."

Biting her lip Lyra forced herself to ask the question she knew she had no right to ask. "Do you love Lady Delilah?"

"Don't do this Lyra." Jayden muttered, turning away.

"Do you love her, just tell me."

"I … I care about her, things are … difficult between us. She … Maker, I can't talk to you about this!"

"Do you want to love her?"

"Lyra!"

"Do you?"

Turning sharply Jayden glared. "What do you want me to say? Yes, I want to love her and I want her to love me, not this possessive, destructive version she's playing out, because whether we want to or not, we are going to be married and I can't bear the thought of spending the rest of my life with a woman who is just duty!" Chest heaving, he turned away from her, his breath hitching as she pressed against his back.

"I'm sorry."

"At least you found love." Slowly he turned. "Don't jeopardise it, not with me. I can't offer you anything and the chances of me surviving this …" He fell silent at the tears in her eyes. "Go home Lyra before we do something we can never take back, because Maker help me, I want to be with you more than I have wanted anything in my whole life." He closed his eyes as she pressed a soft kiss to his cheek before she turned and hurriedly left the cave not looking back. Moments passed and Jayden glared at his reflection in the water. "You're an idiot!"

"No you're not, you're decent." Rathnal stated softly joining him, smiling slightly as his friend paled.

"You heard all of that?"

"I heard enough. You would never have forgiven yourself if you and Lyra had done something here."

"It doesn't matter anyway; we have the darkspawn to focus on."

"It matters if you are going to be distracted."

"I'll be fine."

"Even though it was my choice to end it, it kills me when I see Rinna and Zevran, so I know a little something about that kind of distraction."

Slumping back onto the rock Jayden shook his head. "Why do things have to get so complicated?"

"I wish I knew." Rathnal muttered, settling next to him.

"I thought I had moved on, or was trying to at least, but seeing her again … I wanted to beg her to choose me. I know that time is long gone, but I wanted to anyway."

Rathnal watched his friend believing that if Delilah had shown him an ounce of the love she was so adamant she felt for him, he wouldn't be experiencing the conflict he now was. "I can't imagine it is easy seeing her again after so long and everything you both went through, but she won't be the only woman you ever love."

Jayden thought of Delilah feeling a fresh wave of guilt. Despite their more positive time before he had left, he still feared what marriage would mean for them and he wasn't yet sure if either of them could truly love the other.

"You know Cailan is feeling so guilty about what happened he might annul the betrothal for you." He shrugged at Jayden's startled look. "Maybe something to think about. Perhaps you don't have to accept being with someone who is clearly going to make you unhappy."

Thinking of the betrothal the Divine wanted, Jayden shuddered. "It works both ways. I make her unhappy."

"She is unhappy because she has things all twisted in her head. She doesn't know how lucky she is to have you. She is convinced you will betray her with another woman and the one woman that would tempt you, you just sent away."

"I nearly didn't." Jayden stated softly, guilt lacing his words.

"But you did and that's what matters."

xXx

Guilt ridden Lyra headed to the infirmary grateful when Mother Sara allowed her in to see Gilon who was now in his own room affording them a little privacy. His face was tight with pain, but he was awake and his skin though pale bore no signs of the blight sickness. Sitting beside him she gently took his hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Better for seeing you." He frowned slightly at the momentary guilt in her expression.

"Did you go to see him?"

"I did."

Gilon felt a sickness in his stomach that had nothing to do with the cure. "Tell me the truth I deserve it, did you and he …"

"No! Gilon no I … I just needed to speak to him, to … I don't know."

"I know you still love him, what are his feelings for you?"

Sighing, Lyra forced herself to meet his gaze. "He still loves me, but he knows my future is with you."

"Is that what you want?"

"Yes, of course. I … this is just so confusing. I never expected to feel so strongly, I thought …" She sighed softly.

"At some point he will return and will one day be Teyrn. I don't want things to get difficult with a man who will have such power."

"Jay isn't like that."

"He loves you and a man with the power he will one day wield could probably get whatever he wanted."

Gently cupping his cheek Lyra shook her head. "You never have to fear him abusing any power he has, that would go against his very nature and he would never try to force me to be with him. I made my choice. I just need to resolve my feelings for him. I … I thought I had; I will do better."

Gilon held her gently. "It's not about doing better, I know what it is to love two people, I just don't want to lose you."

"You won't Gilon, I promise." Lyra closed her eyes and nestled into his arms, willing her treacherous heart to be silent.

xXx

While Rathnal headed back to the tavern to check in with Ayanna, Jayden reluctantly headed to the Alienage. He wanted to see Tolman and needed to speak to the golems, but the last thing he needed was to see Lyra. He smiled however as he saw Rumold and Tolband on guard, the pair turning to him as he approached. He gave their code word out of habit, but they both knew who he was.

"I am glad you have returned, despite the circumstances." Tolband stated.

"I hope we can hold out, but you both know the reality of the Darkspawn and we have no idea the true numbers the Archdemon will send."

"We will do what we can."

"I wanted to talk to you about something. While in Orzammar I was part of an expedition to find the Anvil of the Void." The golems were expressionless, yet he felt the sudden tension.

"Did you find it?" Rumold demanded.

"Yes. Paragon Caradin and others were guarding it. I … I know the truth of how you came to be golems, the sacrifice you made and I know your full names; Havak Rumold and Rilla Tolband. Paragon Caradin told me that you loved each other, but were wounded in battle. Wanting to continue to fight you offered yourselves for the Anvil. He has never forgotten your bravery in battle."

"It has been a long time since we have heard our full names spoken aloud. Will the Anvil be used again?"

Jayden shook his head. "It has been destroyed. No-one else will make the sacrifice you did."

"That must have been difficult for the Warden Commander, such a tool when facing a blight could mean the difference between victory and annihilation."

"Warden Faren, a dwarf himself, was determined it would be destroyed, fearing the Castless would be forced to make the sacrifice rather than it being a choice."

"A reasonable assumption. We had our reasons to lay upon the anvil, but we know others were not given the choice. Has Paragon Caradin returned to Orzammar?"

"He has, along with the others with him. They have agreed to fight."

"I would expect no less from him."

"I … I spoke to him, about a way to free you from the control rod. He gave me detailed descriptions of the glyphs we would need."

"There could be dire consequences." Tolband stated when it became clear Rumold was not yet ready to respond.

"We can take precautions. I … if I had known …" He trembled slightly as Tolband placed a hand gently on his shoulder.

"You never used the control rod; you always gave us a choice. Since waking again we have been free. We chose to remain of our own free will."

"I hid the control rod, but if someone found it … you have a right to truly be free."

"We will consider this." Rumold stated. "But only once the Blight has ended. We were made for this and we will not forsake our duty."

They all turned hearing footsteps, Jayden smiling as Tolman cautiously approached.

"I didn't want to interrupt, I just wanted to …" He grinned as Jayden grasped his arm and hugged him. "It is good to see you."

"And you Tolman, you are well I hope."

"Indeed, I insist you join us for dinner." He grinned. "I won't take no for an answer, there is someone I would like you to meet."

Intrigued Jayden said his goodbyes to the golems and headed into the Alienage at Tolman's side, memories of his childhood triggering with every step. "I have missed home so much." He whispered, smiling as he felt Tolman gently squeeze his shoulder.

Glancing up from darning a sock Petra gave a squeal and all but leapt out of the chair, crossing the room in a few strides and hugging Jayden fiercely. "You have had us worried sick!" She snapped half-heartedly when she released him.

Grinning, Jayden pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I've missed you too."

Glancing at her husband she gave an excited smile. "Did you tell him?"

"I thought you might want to."

Smiling happily Petra linked Jayden's arm and led him into an adjoining room, Tolman following.

Gazing into the cradle Jayden felt his heart melt. "You have a baby."

Petra chuckled softly. "Don't look so surprised, we are married. Her name is Alena."

Gazing in awe Jayden smiled as Alena looked up at him, waving her tiny arms and gurgling softly as he let her grasp his finger. "She's beautiful."

"She is such a good girl, sleeps right through the night already."

As though on cue Alena yawned, her eyes closing sleepily.

Smiling, Petra took Tolman's arm and led him back through to the main room.

Jayden watched her for a few moments before carefully extracting his finger as she slept. He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "Always have sweet dreams Alena." Heading back into the main room he shared a meal with Tolman and Petra, catching up on all that had been happening in the Alienage before reluctantly taking his leave, it was late and there would be an early start in the morning.

xXx

Easing off his boots Rathnal flexed his toes wondering if he could get some better boots that didn't pinch. He glanced at Alistair who was rubbing his feet, wondering if they all needed new boots. "I'm sorry Bethany isn't here."

"Her brothers will keep her safe and Kolby won't let anyone near her." He glanced over. "Rath when this is over I … I need to see her, make sure she and our baby … that they are alright."

"We will work something out Ali, I promise."

Nodding Alistair slipped into bed and turned away, choking back the tears of frustration and disappointment. He had meant everything he had said to Jayden, but he was still devastated and desperate to know she was alright. He fell into a troubled sleep, Bethany's voice whispering to him over the waves that she needed him.

Rathnal lay staring at the ceiling trying to ignore the murmurings of distress from his friend. Bethany not being here was a blow Alistair hadn't really been prepared for and it had hit him hard. He pushed away the guilt he felt that he had been able to see his grandfather, too grateful for the support and love he had felt from him. There was nothing he could do about Alistair's situation and he had to keep his focus on what was coming. His conversation with Ayanna had left him feeling uneasy. They were setting up camp for the night when they had spoken, but she had relayed that all of them felt uncomfortable in the forest, even Theron. He had told her to be careful, unnecessary, but he still felt he had to say it. Closing his eyes, he let out a long breath, slowly relaxing his body.

xXx

Yawning loudly Matthew slumped onto the bed, his armour in a neat pile on the floor. The Knight Commander would be furious if he ever found out he was in a room with two mages without his armour and intending to get a few hours' sleep. Frankly he was too tired to care, he was only one man and he couldn't stay awake all day and night. The fact that he trusted Dylan and Reece also would not bode well for him. Pulling the blanket tight around him he glanced at the fire, Dylan was snoring softly in the bed opposite and Reece had taken the hastily made pallet on the floor not caring where he slept he was so tired. The Night Elves Commander had wanted to see all the magic they could do for both offence and defence and he had Matthew explain how his abilities could be used against the Emissaries. They would be doing the same tomorrow with the guards and Night Elves participating in the training session. Zevran had joined them, he didn't participate given his remaining injuries, but he was quick to suggest alternatives to how the magic could be used during combat; his experience in the Crows proving to be invaluable. Stifling a yawn he closed his eyes, an assassin as a companion, the Knight Commander would have a thing or two to say about that too. Still, they were in the Company of Andraste's Champion, who had told them in no uncertain terms that he would deal with any backlash from the Chantry should there be any. He wasn't sure what his friend could do, but the fierce look in his eyes when he spoke made him feel almost sorry for whoever was fool enough to kick over that particular stone.

xXx

Sitting up in bed as the door opened, hand on his dagger, Zevran relaxed as Jayden entered, Airyl already settled by the fire.

"Just me." Jayden murmured with a yawn, stripping off and climbing into the remaining bed.

"So rarely do I have such a delightful view before sleep." Zevran purred, smiling slightly as Jayden turned over, meeting his gaze.

"And here I thought it was Rath you were trying to charm into your bed."

Eyebrow raising Zevran shifted slightly. "Alas, the Commander is immune to my many charms. I believe he misses Rinna."

"I would imagine he does."

"I am at a loss. Rinna has openly told him she does not want an end to what was between them. I have no problem with him joining us. Surely …"

"Zev, not everyone is so open to having more than one person in their bed at a time."

"But how can he resist two such attractive and charming partners?"

Chuckling slightly Jayden stifled another yawn. "Maybe you intimidate him with your extensive sexual prowess."

"I am happy to share my knowledge and techniques."

Shaking his head at Zevran's lascivious grin Jayden lay on his back gazing up at the ceiling. "Maybe just try being friends. I don't think Rath has ever considered being with a man before."

"Ah, perhaps in time he will come to appreciate my charms and what of you my dear Captain?"

"I can appreciate your charms from where I am."

"Indeed, but if you need tips on lovemaking, I would be happy to share."

Sighing Jayden turned over and allowed a slight smile. "Enough Zev!"

"Am I to believe you have yet to bed the lovely Delilah?" Zevran stated pretending to look astonished.

"I … this really isn't any of your business you know."

"Ah, but despite our first introduction you have come to have a fondness for me have you not. I am awesome after all." He grinned as Jayden sighed. "Come now, why then the reluctance, perhaps you are nervous of bedding a noble, I assure you they are no different to any other woman, you must simply put her pleasure ahead of your own, find out what she likes. What delights her."

"Good advice."

Zevran smirked. "I have only just begun."

It didn't take long for Jayden to feel as though even his ears were blushing and all thoughts of sleep had fled. "Wait … you really do that?"

"It is most pleasurable for both parties, I assure you. Perhaps I could demonstrate."

Jayden glanced at the Crow, if he had been having this conversation with Lawrence he would have played along, but he realised he wasn't sure if Zevran was serious or not.

"Surely you will consider delighting Delilah with it also."

Flushing to his toes at the thought Jayden swallowed hard. "Go to sleep Zev."

Zevran gave a dramatic sigh. "Alas I am unappreciated."

"You are appreciated, now go to sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow."

"Ah yes, the delights of digging pits, making spears and lugging oil."

"You will be grateful for all of that if it keeps the Darkspawn from the walls.

"Indeed." Pulling the blankets tightly around him Zevran glanced at the flames flickering in the hearth and sighed, he missed the warmth of Rinna's body next to his and though he was loath to admit it, he preferred not to sleep alone. He gave a startled gasp as Airyl jumped up next to him and lay down, yawning before she closed her eyes. He glanced over to see the grin on Jayden's face allowing a slight smile. "We have come a long way my friend." He murmured, remembering all too well their fierce initial introduction.

Airyl gave a soft huff, despite his tone, she smelt the sadness from Zevran. She didn't understand the two legs a lot of the time, but when any of her pack was sad, snuggling up them always seemed to make them feel better and Zevran was now part of the pack. Hearing his breathing even as he slipped into sleep, she allowed herself to doze. The tension in this place was increasing, the enemy was coming and she wished all of their pack had joined them.

xXx

The sun was barely rising when Zaran roused his men, he had not wanted to enter the Brecilian forest during the night, so they had camped on the edge, but he was impatient to get moving. He looked over his men, they had been loyal to him for many years and it was that loyalty that meant they were hired for jobs where others failed. They were beholden to no-one and that had served them well and yet since taking the job from Arl Howe he had felt tied to him in a way that left him deeply uncomfortable when he thought of it. Shaking his head, he focused. If that fool Taoran Hawkwind was right they would find the Wardens with the Dalish. He had mentioned treaties, but he didn't care why they were here, only that they were. Arl Howe had been very explicit; his daughter and the captain were to be brought to him unharmed. Zaran had been a little unnerved when he discovered the captain and Andraste's Champion were one and the same, but a private chat with Arl Howe had silenced his protests. He frowned slightly, they had all had a private chat and if he was honest, he couldn't remember the details it all seemed very vague and that put him on edge. He signalled to Karlo and Erran his trackers, they would find the elves and in doing so they would find the Wardens.

Taril stared into the forest. "This place doesn't feel right."

"I don't care how it feels." Zaran snapped. "We have a job to do."

"Relax." Karlo stated leaning against a tree grinning slightly. "We find the elves and hopefully the Wardens are there too. If not, we find out from the elves if they have already been, or are still to arrive."

"And then what?" Braman muttered. "Elves aren't likely to let us hang around and wait for the Wardens."

"Who says we are giving them a choice." Zaran growled. "Like I said, we have a job to do. The Wardens and the Crow die. The Lady and the Captain come with us. Remember they are dangerous, don't get fancy, just kill them quick."

"Where's the fun in that?" Maris muttered, running his hand lovingly against the hilt of his sword.

Finally allowing a slight grin, Zaran shifted slightly. "Well maybe a little fun can be had."

xXx

As they began setting up camp as evening drew in, having found no sign of Dalish or Warden, Braman was feeling disgruntled. His fingers twitched to his dagger. He enjoyed killing, liked the thrill of the chase and sinking steel into flesh, but the deeper they went into the forest the more something was nagging at him. He was missing something, the forest seemed too quiet, as though waiting for something and the feeling they were being watched had prickled his spine since entering the damn place. Still the chance to kill Wardens was not something he was going to pass up and his loyalty to Zaran was without question. He had a score to settle with those of the Order and getting paid to do it was a pleasant bonus. Leaning back against a tree he took a spoonful of stew and gazed into the trees thoughtfully. It had been ten years since his twin had joined the Order. They had been close, always done things together, but the day Laris met the Wardens was the day that changed. He hadn't begrudged his brother the change of life, it was after all an honour to be accepted into the Order, or so he had always been told. It was a week after they had parted company when he knew he would never see him again. They had always known when the other was hurt or in trouble and so it was no surprise to him that he knew the moment his brother's heart stopped beating. He had mourned and in time had forced himself to move on, the Darkspawn after all were a formidable foe and he accepted his brother's death as part of the life he had chosen. It had been five years later when he had come across the dying Warden, delirious from horrific wounds, but conscious long enough to reveal details of a Joining ritual. The Warden had been lamenting the deaths of those who didn't make it through. He had barely been listening until his brother's name slipped from his lips with his dying breath. It had ignited a fire within him that he had never attempted to put out. Killing the Warden's would never bring his brother back, but it would balance the scales.

Watching his men, Zaran knew this place had them on edge, it was affecting him as well, though he had enough self-control not to show it. He glanced at Braman who was unusually quiet, it didn't bode well for whoever he was thinking about. Frowning he turned at the sound of a tortured howl, all of them stopping what they were doing at the second howl that seemed closer. The third had them drawing their weapons before the forest around them seemed to explode with teeth and claws and wolves that stood as humans. As claws ripped into his chest, Zaran hit the ground. The demon-like creatures retreated, having only wounded them. It made no sense, but it wasn't long before that was on the periphery of his thoughts, all that mattered was the burning in his veins and the howls of pain that left his lips and those of his comrades.

xXx

Author Note: Thank you for reading, it is always appreciated.