Right, okay. Where shall I begin this pathetic little tale of mine? Hmmmm. Huh. Well, why not start it off with what's happening currently and, then, randomly flashback to everything that's led me to this exact moment? Yes, I know, a flashback story is a pretty lame concept now, not to mention clichéd, but if I start the tale from where I am now, my story will end before it has truly begun, because I'll be dead.
So, please, endure the nonsense I'm about to spew; you're in for a wild ride.
Unlike many people in the world, particularly on this planet of Earth, I've never thought about how I'd eventually die. Sure, I've thought about death itself plenty of times, like how it sucks that we'll stop existing one day and eventually be forgotten as we become someone's boring ancestors, if our lineages continue onward, but how death would claim me, specifically?
Nah, that particular type of thought never crossed my mind. I mean, with all the shit (yeah, I swear; fuck off) that's happened around me these past several months, you'd think I'd think about how exactly fate would kill me off. But nope, never did. Probably should've. If I had, you know, thought about it, like any human being over fifty does (which I'm not but that's beside the point), I figure I would've guessed that something exactly like this would happen.
Like I briefly mentioned, these past several months have been fucking nuts. I'm honestly surprised I've lived this long.
I'm holding my breath; don't ask why but I am, okay? Maybe, if I pass out, I can die painlessly, you know? Wishful thinking, of course, but a bitch can dream. Anyway, so, I'm staring across this room I'm in; it's pretty big, I guess, the room. My eyes are keeping contact with the eyes of a vampire, who wants to viciously kill me for a reason that doesn't make any goddamn sense to me, but okay, whatever, go off, "king".
Oh, and he's staring back; I mean, obviously, because I just said I was keeping eye contact with him, but I'm mentioning it again, because I can.
Where was I? Oh, right, I'm about to be brutally murdered.
Uh, anyway, so yeah. Today's probably a good day to die, I guess. The way I'm dying, though? Not cool. Like, I was tricked into coming here, okay? So, I'm dying for no good reason, other than the bullshit this ass was monologuing minutes ago; how no one managed to get here to save me yet is beyond me, because the guy was going on, and on, and on. Like, seriously, how have I not been rescued? People in anime get rescued faster than this!
I thought I was coming here to die in someone else's place (spoiler: my absentminded mother) because I was feeling epic, thinking all heroically about selflessly sacrificing myself. But, no, I'm not allowed to be a noble human being, for once. No, I've gotta die for being a bigger dumbass than this bastard smirking at me.
If I hadn't been such a goddamn idiot, thinking that going to Spoonz was a good fucking idea, I'd have probably died already from how ridiculously clumsy I am. Like, seriously, how have I not busted my head wide open on something from all the times I've tripped over my own damned feet?
…I'm losing my train of thought. Again. I think.
Ummm. I'm very terrified, without a doubt, and I absolutely regret just about everything I've done. Lots of stupid decisions, especially since moving, but damn, life has been so much more exciting.
The asshole keeps smirking at me, menacingly; that bitch-ass motherfucker. Then, he lunges; no real surprise there, since he's been talking about revenge and murdering me, but shit. Goodbye, cruel world.