As usual all speech in italics is in the Old Tongue.
Chapter XLV - I Have Obligation
As Taija, Rand and Mat limped back towards the Dedicated encampments she was stewing in her own misery. She didn't really want to talk to anyone, let alone a couple of teenage boys, friends or not, Dragon Reborn or not. Yet Rand kept on trying to strike up conversation.
He'd been a bit distant recently so she was surprised, but she thought he might be finding the silence a bit awkward and trying to fill it. Regardless, Taija desperately didn't want to talk about her experiences amidst the columns. They probably saw similar things to each other, but he was clearly not all that distressed by them. Presumably it was all academic to him, just some interesting history. For fuck's sake.
Perhaps a subject change would help her avoid having to talk about it? Mat certainly seemed to be suffering after whatever he did. She hadn't been going to ask him what had happened, she knew how private he was about his life, but curiosity and expediency combined to change her mind. "Mat, you look terrible. What happened to you?"
Mat glanced at her and scowled without saying anything, but she let the silence linger until he gave in and filled it. "It was the bloody doorway. I don't want to talk about it."
Oh, he was speaking her language again. Yes! Although his accent seemed to have changed. She ignored his protest. "You mean the twisted, redstone doorway?"
"That is the one. But burn my soul this time they did not have any answers for my questions, instead they tried to kill me." Mat gave a bitter laugh.
Taija winced, "No… they wouldn't have."
Mat jumped on that, "what do you mean they would not have?! Is that not what those creatures are meant to do?"
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Light save foolish children who just walked into unknown ter'angreal. At least she'd had a vague idea of the risks she was taking. "No Mat, the doorway here leads to the Eelfinn, not the Aelfinn." The names clearly didn't ring a bell for him so she continued. "They're similar in some ways, but the Aelfinn answer questions while the Eelfinn will grant you favours, for a price. The Doorway in Tear was the Aelfinn. Personally I wouldn't go near the Eelfinn." Taija gave him a sympathetic glance, her own misery temporarily forgotten.
"Well burn my blood and the horse I rode in on! That's the last bloody time that I walk into a flaming ter'angreal and you can bet your life on that." Mat subsided into muttering dark things about aes sedai. Oddly his accent kept changing each time he spoke. Probably best not to probe into that right now or he might stop speaking her language at all.
"I won't ask you about the price you paid." Taija tried not to look at the red welts around Mat's neck, he probably wouldn't answer anyway, "but what did you ask for?" She ignored his offensive mutterings about aes sedai. As far as she was concerned he was probably talking about the White Tower lot and she wasn't in the mood to defend any aes sedai anyway. Regardless, the fact that he was willing to do it in front of her suggested he wasn't really including her among them.
She could see Mat chewing over whether to tell her to mind her own business. He was barely walking properly, leaning on his new spear-staff, not that she was in much better condition, but eventually he answered glumly. "I don't know if I tell it honestly. I went in asking questions, not looking for favours."
"How odd." Taija didn't really know how that kind of a situation would be dealt with by the Eelfinn, but maybe… "The Eelfinn can be… tricky, I know that much. It's possible that you said something that they could twist into a request even when it wasn't really."
Mat pondered for a few seconds before speaking. "Those thieving, conniving sons of goats! I think I know what they did, it is like you said, they chose to misinterpret my words. I think they would say I asked for a way out, replacements for some things I had lost and a…" He blushed and stops talking.
Interesting. She hadn't thought there was much that could make Mat blush. After a moment Taija took mercy on him, he was a nice kid and she shouldn't be using him to distract herself from her own woes. "I can see how you'd make the mistake," if he made a habit of wandering into unknown ter'angreals at least. "What did they give you?"
He seemed to feel a bit more comfortable answering that, "I'm not totally sure. They gave me this halberd," he gestured at the spear-staff he was using to help him walk, "I think it is their idea of a joke." He laughed humourlessly and tilted the blade so that she could see it.
Taija read the inscription out loud, pleasingly it was in her own language in a fine script.
"Thus is our treaty written; thus is agreement made.
Thought is the arrow of time; memory never fades.
What was asked is given. The price is paid."
"Huh," Taija raised her eyebrows. "That's very on the nose isn't it?"
Mat grunted. "If I ever get the chance I'll slice them with their own wit. They also gave me this." He pulled out the thing he'd been wearing round his neck.
"May I take a closer look? I promise I won't do anything to it."
Mat looked like he was about to refuse and then sighed and pulled the cord over his head and handed it to Taija. That was nice, he was getting much less uncomfortable around her!
Taija held it up, her eyes widening as she took it in. It seemed to be made of jade, a beautifully carved piece of green stone in the shape of a staff with a serpent curled around it.
After a second she handed it back to Mat. "Don't let anyone see that if you can help it. If it's what I think it is then there are a lot of people who would quite literally kill you to have it. Whatever price you paid, you got something very valuable for it."
Mat tucked it back under his shirt, "what is it?"
"Don't test it too hard because I'm not entirely sure, but I think it's a regenerator." At his blank look Taija continued. "A ter'angreal, obviously, which will heal its wearer from almost any injury, at least if the injury is inflicted while it's being worn. If I'm right then I could cut off your hand and it would grow back. Fast too, although obviously there will be limits. Again, I wouldn't suggest trying it, I could be wrong!" She felt the need to repeat her warning given he was stupid enough to go through a second one of the doorways.
Mat unconsciously ran his hand over the lump under his shirt looking speculative, "if that's true then why do I still feel so bad? Shouldn't it have healed me?"
Taija shrugged, "I'm not sure. Perhaps I'm wrong about it? Perhaps there are some things it won't heal? Maybe it's something to do with the price you paid?" She held up her hands to forestall his inevitable complaint, "I'm not asking what happened, just saying that it might be related."
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Taija returned to the Dedicated encampment feeling like she'd been run over by a train. It was a long, slow walk in contrast to the fast jog that she set out with. At least after her conversation with Mat about his own experiences both he and Rand had stopped trying to get her talking.
She didn't see Moiraine or that Aviendha girl on the way back either. She hoped they hadn't run into trouble or had problems with their ter'angreal.
On their return they were all immediately greeted by the wise ones, a palpable tension hovering over them. Well, Rand was anyway. Taija was practically ignored by them, which suited her perfectly.
There was a bit of back and forth and then she was surprised when Melaine pulled back his sleeves to reveal a pair of dragons tattooed onto his arms. It seemed that was what the ter'angreal did for men. One dragon for a clan chief and two dragons for the Chief of Chiefs. Only men apparently, which was a relief. She'd never wanted a tattoo, let alone something associated with Lews Therin.
Taija was happy for Rand, although he seemed deeply uncomfortable with it all. She, on the other hand, really didn't want to talk to anyone right then, so while everyone was focused on him Taija discretely slipped off to find Aleksi and see about getting her tent set up.
It was easy enough to find him and even better he'd already got her tent assembled beside his. When she arrived he took one look at her and grimaced. "Bad?"
Taija just nodded.
He put his arm round her and urged her to her tent. "I'll find you some tea and something to eat."
"Thank you," Taija muttered as she bent down and go into it. It wasn't a big tent, just large enough for her to sit up inside it, but it was all she really needed. It wasn't like she had much in this time anyway.
Taija sat there blank faced for a couple of minutes until Aleksi returned with the promised tea and some sort of stew. "Again, thank you. If anyone wants me, please could you tell them I'm not to be bothered unless one of the Forsaken is attacking the camp."
He nodded, concern filling his eyes, but left without protest.
As soon as the flap closed behind him Taija embraced saidar and spun. A ward against eavesdropping just inside the tent and sound from outside vanished. Then another ward round the fabric of the tent to detect anyone who touched it. Finally, because she really didn't want to speak to anyone, a third ward inside both, which would deliver a nasty shock to anyone who crossed it. For once she spun the third one without inverting it and even added some colour so that it provided a visible haze to non-channelers, she wanted it to be obvious.
Job done Taija spun a small gateway to the mountains outside Tear and tied it off before crawling through, tugging her bedroll after her.
She laid that out on the bare rock and then sat down it, hugging her knees to her chest, and stared out over the beautiful, craggy vista with watery eyes.
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Amys was more than displeased. In all of the excitement over Rand al'Thor's return Taija sedai had been able to slip away. There was no shame to be had in focusing on Rand al'Thor. He was the Car'a'carn and his visit to Rhuidean had been of paramount importance. He would save the Aiel, or potentially destroy them, and nothing was more important than that.
However, the ancient aes sedai was still someone she needed to speak to, if it were not for the Car'a'carn she would be the most important visitor here for centuries. For the good of the Aiel and also for the toh that they held to the aes sedai Amys needed to speak with her.
For a wetlander who appeared so unfocused, her ability to slip away from under watching eyes was surprisingly impressive. Of course as soon as Amys had realised that Taija sedai had disappeared, she had set the gai'shain to finding her.
It had taken a little while for the information to filter through to her, but it seemed that Taija sedai had set up her tent amongst the Taardad Aiel, the woman seemed to have no true sense of proper behaviour. Dressing like she wanted to be a maiden, camping with the warriors and men away from the wise ones' and other aes sedais' tents.
Amys settled her face into the determined position that had taken her far amongst the wise ones and strode up to the tent she had been told was Taija sedai's. The young man, Aleksi Durcaral she had been told his name was, stood in front of it, clearly guarding it. Amys' mouth twisted briefly downwards, he did them dishonour by showing such a lack of trust among allies. Still, she must make allowances, wetlanders had little concept of honour and so could not truly be expected to know better.
"I see you Aleksi Durcaral." She announced herself, barely slowing her pace. "I need to speak with Taija sedai." The man would most likely step aside rather than be run over by her.
To her mild surprise, despite his youth, Aleksi Durcaral seemed to have some steel in his spine, actually stepping forward to stop her with a small bow, forcing her to come to a sudden halt. "My apologies wise one." At least he was polite. "Taija sedai is busy and cannot be bothered. I will of course let her know that you wish to speak with her when she's free."
Amys did not let her annoyance show on her face. "This is important wise ones' business, step aside young man." Few people, men or women, would defy her to her face.
Aleksi didn't blink, meeting her eyes without hesitation. "I'm sorry, but you cannot see her now. I'll be happy to take a message."
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To Amys' annoyance it was several hours before Taija sedai decided to make time to speak to her. Aleksi Durcaral had been impressively determined to deny her, particularly for a young wetlander. She was not used to anyone other than wise ones being willing to turn her away. Despite the inconvenience to her, Taija sedai's warder had earnt much ji for his service.
Taija sedai entered the tent and gave Amys and the other wise ones a small bow. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, I needed time to process what I'd seen."
Amys cast an appraising glance over her. She'd clearly made a half-hearted effort at hiding the impact of Rhuidean on her, but it was obvious she had been crying and there were scratches down her face. Not unusual for someone who had been there. Of course the Aiel did not show emotion so openly, but one had to make allowances for wetlanders. They had not been hardened by the Three-fold Land.
More surprising were the signs that she had almost failed the test of the columns. Not that Amys would ever comment on such a thing, to do so would be to give toh to the other person and in doing so to incur huge toh herself, but it was a surprise. Surely Taija sedai would not have had any difficulty in understanding the history of the Aiel, perhaps their failure had been that much of a shock to her?
Appraisal complete, Amys nodded to Taija sedai. "It can be difficult to finally fully understand the Aiel's toh and how we failed the aes sedai. I hope that you at least found it instructive."
The aes sedai grimaced, not unexpected. Especially for a wetlander who was so open with her thoughts. Then to Amys' surprise she bent into a low bow, going almost horizontal from her waist. Hands on the front of her thighs. "The Aiel did not fail the aes sedai." Taija spoke from her bent over position. "I saw more than enough. The aes sedai failed the Aiel."
For the first time in many years Amys found herself momentarily speechless. This was insanity. "You do not know of what you speak." As soon as she said it, she wanted to take the words back. She did Taija sedai great dishonour with them.
There was a flash of anger behind Taija sedai's usually diffident eyes as she straightened up. "How dare you! Do you think I didn't understand what I saw? That you know more about the… the Age of Legends," she nearly spat those words, "than me?"
Amys held up her hands, "I have toh…"
But Taija sedai was not stopping. "Do you think you know more about what it meant to be Da'shain Aiel or to be aes sedai than an actual aes sedai? The sheer arrogance of you people! I've seen the same things you have, but I've also lived in that era, grown up with the Da'shain Aiel as a part of my society."
Taija sedai visibly restrained herself with a wince before continuing in a moderate tone. "I really am terrible at apologising. Sorry." She gave a despondent sigh. "The Da'shain Aiel had the covenant and yes they served the aes sedai. The Aiel have since abandoned the covenant, that's also true. However, in the… 'Old Tongue' a covenant means an agreement with two sides, not one person signing themselves into slavery." She briefly veered into a lecturing tone, "I'm not totally sure how you people have translated it, sometimes I struggle with the more subtle meanings of your language. Anyway! I do know about the Covenant, probably more than anyone else alive," her face challenged anyone to deny that, "and in return for the Da'shain Aiel following the Way of the Leaf and serving the aes sedai, the aes sedai also had obligations to them."
"The aes sedai provided freedom, protection and livelihoods for the Da'shain Aiel. Without the service of the aes sedai to the Da'shain Aiel, there could be no Aiel. I saw the visions, after the Breaking. The aes sedai failed the Da'shain Aiel. They set them an impossible task and then abandoned their part of the bargain. The Way of the Leaf was… is a beautiful philosophy, but it could only truly survive in better times. Without the protection of the aes sedai it was no more than a promise of suicide."
That was all wrong, Amys shook her head vehemently. "The Aiel broke their promises to the aes sedai."
Taija gave her a look of frustration. "You can't break an agreement that's already been broken. If a husband beats his wife and sleeps with other women then no one expects her to stay with him. No true aes sedai would condemn the Aiel for what they did. Any who told you otherwise or try to take advantage of what you see as your failure are no true aes sedai."
Amys' mind immediately sprung to some of the veiled statements Moiraine and Cadsuane sedai had made. Was Taija sedai implying something there? There had been a certain amount of coolness between them, but then this woman did not seem at all like a subtle manipulator. She had poor control of her emotions and she said what she thought. Of course Amys could appreciate that, at least the second part. Then again… the best manipulators never seemed like manipulators… A thought for another time.
Regardless, whatever she said, Taija sedai did not understand. Not truly. Her words gained her much ji, there was no doubt about that. She understood the importance of her own people's promises, but she could not truly understand the Aiel's own shame.
Then there was her denial of the Aiel's toh. That was rude, almost unconscionably so to an Aiel, but she could not be expected to understand that. Amys smiled internally, for a woman who clearly knew so much she could be surprisingly ignorant at times.
Still, to have an aes sedai who believed her people to have toh to the Aiel would be useful. The survival of the Aiel must come first after all. She could no doubt be helped to understand and, in time, she might be a powerful ally for the Aiel.
Amys gave Taija sedai a comforting smile. "I understand what you are saying. You gain much ji through your words and they are appreciated by us. However, it is not your place to decide whether the Aiel have transgressed, that is our burden to bear."
