As usual any speech in italics is in the Old Tongue.
Chapter XVIII - Living Amongst the Aes Sedai
As Taija had expected, it was a couple more days before the Amyrlin returned to Tar Valon. When she did it was hard to miss. Not only did her procession parade noisily through the city's streets, it was all that people wanted to talk about. There was no recalcitrance in talking about aes sedai here, although every single person was also careful to only speak respectfully about them.
The morning after the Siuan's return, the Lady Alfreda of Houndstooth, a small village in the far west of Andor, presented herself at the White Tower with a request for an audience with the Amyrlin.
A young lady in a white dress with a hem banded in seven colours received Taija, supervising a scribe who noted down her details. She didn't look past her early twenties, although it could be hard to tell with channelers. However, that didn't stop her from looking Taija over as her details were taken, a slight hint of contempt in her eyes.
It was enough to make Taija wince internally. She must have made some kind of mistake in her outfit. Hopefully claiming to be from a small village in the middle of nowhere would excuse her accent and dress. The careful wording of her request for an audience should also make sure that Siuan knew it was her.
Taija sighed to herself when the young woman muttered something to the scribe, if she was going to be treated like a backwoods hick this was going to be even less enjoyable than she was expecting. It was difficult though, she'd never been overly interested in fashion in her own time and, despite the best efforts of the tailors she'd hired, this time's outfits still baffled her. What had been fashionable 3,000 years ago certainly wasn't not, which wasn't all that surprising when she thought about it.
Still, whatever the young woman's thoughts, her words were faultlessly polite and directed Taija to a waiting area where refreshments would be provided, telling her that her petition would be taken to the Amyrlin. She also warned her that the Amyrlin was a busy woman and that it might be a long wait before an audience would be granted, perhaps several weeks, or even months. The young woman's pride at being part of the Tower showed through her tone, with just a hint of smugness underneath it.
Taija gave her a polite smile, despite her irritation, "that's fine, I don't mind waiting. Thank you for your help." She definitely didn't consider tripping young woman up with an inverted web of air.
After the accepted had left, Taija sat there for an hour, then two, then three. Despite what she'd said, she was definitely getting irritated at the wait and her attempt at picking up a conversation with the other women looking for an audience, oddly there were no men, got nowhere. A nervous elderly lady on her left just said "milady is too kind" and looked at her feet, while the other was staring determinedly ahead of herself, ignoring everyone. The girls training in the Tower, accepted and novices, that was what they called them, all seemed too busy to talk and regardless were uninterested in a stranger who couldn't even channel. Taija had some sympathy with that, she could remember her own youth when she'd first been learning how to channel and the sheer overwhelming excitement of it all, she'd barely been able to talk about anything else for at least the first couple of years.
After a while, boredom overwhelming her paranoia, Taija closed her eyes and started working her way through a series of equations in her head, visualising the symbols, their complex beauty, the way they described fundamental interactions in the universe. Eventually even that lost its appeal and she simply couldn't resist channeling.
So Taija amused herself as she sat there, repeating the same exercises she'd learnt in her teens. A bit of nostalgia and also just revision. The fundamentals should never be neglected and it was nice playing around with them with a more experienced touch.
Inverting her flows without thinking, Taija spun a simple web of spirit into the first letter of her name, visible only to her.
Next she reduced the power going into it, drawing the individual flows out as small and narrow as she was capable of before spinning them together again into the simple web. Now the letter seemed to look the same, but instead of being made of a single, thin flow of spirit, the web was made up of myriad incredibly thin flows woven together.
Next was splitting her flows, adding letters to spell out her first name, then her second too. That took focus. Splitting her flows that many ways was one thing, it wasn't like it used much strength. However, maintaining the incredibly fine control she needed to spin infinitesimally small flows together and inverting them even as she channeled was quite another.
Taija allowed the names to fade and started on another set of webs, this time spinning air and fire together with spirit, keeping her control as fine before. First she wrote out her own first name again and then idly started to mix it with another name, making a heart around… She realised what she was doing and released the webs, her vision suddenly blurry. She didn't want to think about that.
Melyena resisted the urge to sniff as she looked down at 'Lady' Alfreda and cleared her throat again. Light only knew why the Amyrlin was willing to see her so quickly. The same day that she arrived in fact! Not that it was the place of an accepted to question the Amyrlin, of course.
First the woman had just been staring into the distance as vacant eyed as a baby and now she suddenly looked like she was about to burst into tears. It was not any of her business, not if she did not want to be paying a visit to Sheriam's study anyway, but she very doubted the woman was in fact nobility of any kind.
"Lady Alfreda!" The small blonde woman jumped.
"Oh uh, yes, sorry I was in a world of my own…" That was another oddity, Melyena had never heard an accent like that one, words clipped short, everything sounding like consonants. She certainly did not sound Andoran, her village must be a true backwater, if she was even telling the truth about where she had come from. Still, she must be at least somewhat familiar with the White Tower, she showed no fear or discomfort at being around Melyena which meant she knew the difference between accepted and aes sedai.
She carefully moderated her tone, being rude to guests to the White Tower was, like so many other things, harshly punished. "Hmm. The Amyrlin will see you now." It was a struggle to keep the surprise out of her voice when she said it.
In no time at all Taija was following the snotty accepted through the corridors of the White Tower. She was soon surprised to find herself ascending in some kind of mechanically driven lift. She hadn't thought they had the technology for something like that, but given the height of the Tower, they must have. Well that or thighs of absolute steel. She couldn't really tell under most of their dresses.
When they exited the lift, Taija gave herself a mental shake. She needed to get her head back in the game and stop vacillating. It wasn't far from the lift to what must be Siuan's office, down an ornately decorated stone corridor. The large door at the end had the white flame symbol these aes sedai had taken from her own time above it and as soon as she reached it the accepted nervously knocked.
A barked "enter" came from within the room and the accepted pushed the handle down and gestured Taija in. When she stepped through the door Siuan and Leane were indeed waiting there for her.
"Thank you child," Siuan dismissed the accepted with a glance. The girl gave her a deep curtsy and hurriedly existed. Taija quickly imitated her with her own much more awkward and shallow curtsy. It wasn't that bad though, she'd been practising.
Siuan looked her up and down. "It'll do I suppose, although no one would believe you've ever gone more than ten leagues from your village before. You could also try to speak more like a noble." She sighed ever so slightly. "No matter." The light of saidar appeared around her and she spun a web against eavesdropping.
"Hello to you too Siuan sedai," Taija replied. "I did my best with limited material to work from. I did choose an isolated place to be from so that I could excuse whatever mistakes I might make."
Mmm yes, it would not have been such a bad choice, but why in the Light did you say western Andor?"
"What's wrong with western Andor?" Taija scowled. "I know it's isolated. I heard when I was in Caemlyn that it's barely even part of Andor anymore and Andor's the nation I've spent the most time in, I can actually describe parts of its capital."
"Yes, those would be good points. Except for one thing. Have you heard of the Two Rivers?"
Umm…" Taija paused to think. "Yes! Isn't that where Rand and his friends come from?" Her brain caught up with her mouth and put two and two together a second later. "Ah."
"Exactly. Unfortunately you are now from the same region as the Dragon Reborn. It seems that if the Pattern has a sense of humour it is a cruel one. Well there is not much we can do, that net is already torn. Western Andor is a big place and if we are lucky no one will make the connection."
"Definitely. I've certainly never been to the Two Rivers, long way away, barely heard of it. They make cigarettes or something don't they?"
Siuan gave Taija a look that said she wasn't sure if she was being flippant, but she wasn't impressed either way. Fortunately Leane quickly stepped in before Taija could give an intemperate response. "So Taija sedai, we've discussed the best way to work with you and we think it might be best for you to move into the Tower. We will say that you are petitioning for help with a family dispute and while you wait for a resolution you will live on Tower grounds."
"So you can keep an eye on me?" Taija raised her eyebrows, wishing not for the first time that she could do it with just one at a time.
"Because it will give you relatively free access to the Tower and means money will not be a problem. Neither I nor the Amyrlin has time to waste on watching you in or out of the Tower." She softened her words with a smile, "anyway given your… advantages I doubt it would be much of a constraint for you."
"Alright, makes sense. How about the teaching?"
"At night. We often work late and do not want to be bothered." Siuan answered this time. "I will show you my bedchamber as it connects to my office. If you have seen it you can… Travel…" she hesitated at the word, "directly to it? Correct?"
At Taija's nod she continued, "very good. Come at 9th bell tonight."
It took Taija a second to work out what that was, "that works. I'll come then, be careful not to have anyone in your bedchamber at the time. A gateway will cut through anything or anyone it touches. Now, what about your side of our bargain?"
Siuan looked irritated, "yes. I have not forgotten. However, I am trying to sail the Fingers of the Dragon in the dark. The sisters are riled up and my position is weaker than I would like. Taking an angreal officially is out of the question and, while I have no doubt you could, I am reluctant to have you raid the storerooms, that would truly set the silverpike among the baitfish. However, I know of a sister who has been keeping an angreal she should not have. If I cannot obtain you one in another way I shall have a talk with her."
"You mean you'll blackmail her?"
Siuan didn't blink, "yes. Is that a problem?"
"Given everything, not in the slightest."
"Good. Is there anything else you think we should discuss before tonight?"
Taija thought for a second, "no, that covers it, will you make arrangements for my rooms?"
Their meeting quickly came to a close and she found the accepted waiting outside the door to escort her back down after she gave 'Mother' her best curtsy. Why couldn't these women bow like sensible people?
Taija found she quickly fell into a routine in the White Tower, despite the sheer oddity of the place. During the day she was largely free to roam, at least in the public spaces of the Tower. Unfortunately the aes sedai were more than standoffish, sweeping past with barely a glance of acknowledgment as she made herself curtsy to them. At least she'd very quickly realised that was necessary. It was ridiculous really. Aes sedai deserved respect, of course, although she wasn't so sure about this time's incarnation of them. However, the subservience, almost fear, that they demanded here was an obscenity. It made a mockery of their title. Any aes sedai who'd behaved like that in her time would have been ostracised in the Hall.
One plus side of being in the White Tower was the library. While Taija didn't have unfettered access to it, even the public sections were enough to keep her occupied for long hours. So, each morning she'd Travel from her room to somewhere isolated to train and exercise alone and then return to the Tower to wash before heading to the library. She focused on books covering history and culture, it wasn't like there was anything worth calling science there and books on the Power were restricted. Taija did try to seek out books that touched on the Dragon and/or aes sedai, but again many of those weren't available to the public.
At night she Traveled to Siuan's rooms to teach her and Leane. That was yet another source of frustration for her. It wasn't that they were bad students, as such, but they really did seem to struggle to remember that they were students. This meant frequent clashes as they tried to assert their authority as two of the most powerful women on the planet.
Siuan sighed internally as the blasted woman looked at her weave with unimpressed eyes before barking "again!"
At first she had actually been a bit excited to be learning secrets from the Age of Legends, even with the unending stress that came from problem after problem piling up on her shoulders every day. However, she now felt like a novice being berated for learning slowly. Ironically that was actually one of the few things she had not been told off for during her years in white.
Channeling the threads of spirit and fire for what felt like the hundredth time that night she brought them together and then gave them the sideways twist that inverted them. She knew they had just faded from sight for the other two women in the room, she also knew Taija would not be satisfied.
The woman was an enigma. A problem and a solution in one body. If Siuan had had more time, not that she had enough of that for anything, she would have brought her to heel. That woman should be, needed to be, under the Tower's protection and, more importantly, its control. If only she could have got her into novice white.
The problems she was already having with the Hall because of Taija were bad enough, but the Light only knew what would happen if she was allowed to keep running loose. It sometimes felt like if she let her out of her sight for a day there would be a new problem for her to keep track of.
They had been talking about the Forsaken on her fourth night in the Tower. That was another thing Siuan was still trying to get her head around. That this woman, who didn't look a day over thirty, actually knew the Forsaken. Some of them anyway. She gave such dry, academic accounts of them, but watching her expressions, reading between the lines, it was clear she had met most of them and even knew some of them well. She certainly had some kind of personal enmity with Lanfear! The insane cherry on her already mad cake of an story.
"Again!" Siuan wove and tried not to fumble the threads.
Taija had just casually mentioned that Asmodean would not be a problem anymore. It made Siuan want to swear like the fisherman's daughter she had been born as. She just dropped it into a lecture like it was nothing!
Siuan had put on her best face for intimidating recalcitrant Sitters and demanded to know why Taija had not told them before and she had muttered something about Aginor and Balthamel.
Then she had blushed and apologised! How could the woman be so powerful and knowledgeable and so, so…
"Again!" The weave came together and vanished, Siuan's fastest yet, which got her a grudgingly small nod of approval.
The problem was, Siuan just struggled to categorise Taija. She did not look or act like an aes sedai. Far too open about her emotions and intentions, mild features, ignorance and simple dress coming together to make her seem more like a novice or freshly raised accepted. Her odd accent and social mistakes did not help either. If Siuan did not know better, she could entirely believe she was the sheltered daughter of some isolated, minor lord.
So, Siuan's every instinct when dealing with Taija told her to put the woman in her place, assert her position and take command like she had with so many women over the years. Women who had seemed far harder, older, more experienced than Taija. Frankly far more frightening women, at least on the surface.
However, every time she tried, a core of steel would show itself in the woman. Mild disposition and the sadness that rarely seemed to leave her eyes would vanish in a flash to be replaced with utterly unyielding certainty, a self-confidence that Siuan could fully believe had been earned with nearly two centuries of life. And hadn't that been a surprise! That this woman was past middle aged for an aes sedai.
Taija could be almost mercurial at times. Switching from relaxed, even naive, absent-mindedness to tense in an instant, or losing her temper at nothings while ignoring something that would have made an enemy for life of some aes sedai. Even her manners were a constant challenge, she oscillated wildly from being insanely casual with address, tone and behaviour one minute to demanding utmost formality and respect the next. Siuan had suspicions about some of it, she'd seen similar things in sisters who had spent too long in the Blight, but much of it just baffled her.
"Again!" Siuan wove and to her irritation Leane's inversion was noticeably faster. "You need to focus more on fine control of every flow. Try to feel each individual flow separately as you bring it out, awareness is key to this. Again!"
Siuan was used to being the most powerful channeler in the room, wherever that room was and in the past, before she had been raised to the Amyrlin Seat, she had not been above demonstrating that power on one or two occasions when necessary. That would not be an option here. When she was not thinking consciously about it, she would see Taija as a naive young woman, not at all frightening and then she would remember…
She still occasionally woke up in a cold sweat thinking about that day in Fal Dara. That, if nothing else, would never let her enjoy the illusion that Taija was just a soft, youth barely past 30 for long. She and Moiraine had had her shielded, slammed her into a wall and they'd still lost, not even after a long duel, but just a brutal, instant reversal.
Siuan suppressed a shudder with long years of practice. She had spent sleepless nights trying to figure out how on earth Taija had done that. Her best guess was some kind of ward, but how she had had it in place and triggered it, the Light only knew. Even if she could work that out, she still had no idea how powerful Taija actually was and she was going to have to give her an angreal, Light help her!
Oddly enough Leane seemed to get on much better with her, perhaps it was just personality or that Leane was more used to following Siuan's lead. No matter.
She would get that woman under control one way or another. For the Tower, for the world and for the Light.
One thing that Taija noticed during her time in the Tower was Egwene in novice white and Nynaeve in an accepted dress, bustling around, busy with various menial tasks. She did her best to avoid them of course. She wasn't really sure how much they were allowed to know and they'd hardly been particularly friendly to her in the past. She'd always hated awkward conversations after all.
That lasted for her first few weeks in the Tower, but then one day, while she was reading, probably her favourite past time in the Tower, particularly given its huge library, Taija noticed Egwene had been working near her. She seemed to be engaged in one of the incessant chores that they subjected novices to in the Tower, but watching Taija out of the corner of her eye. It was a waste of time as far as Taija was concerned, scrubbing floors taught nothing that couldn't be better taught through more productive activities. It wasn't even much use as a punishment. If you wanted to punish someone who wanted to be aes sedai, the work should be pointless to make the point that they were serving nobody.
Still, Egwene's presence put her a bit on edge. In theory the girl shouldn't have been able to recognise her, given the illusion she was under and the false name. However, the girls was definitely watching her. Still, she ha d better things to be doing than worrying about unfriendly youths and the White Tower's training methods.
The next day, when Taija was walking from the Tower's East Gardens towards the Tower library, two novices swung out of a side corridor into place beside her. One was Egwene, the other a pretty red haired girl she didn't recognise.
"Lady Alfreda, might we have a moment of your time?" Egwene's tone was sweet and nothing but respectful.
Taija mentally sighed, this was deeply unsubtle. "Oh umm yes, can I help you miss…?"
"It's Egwene," her smile widened. "I was wondering where you're from? You see, I had heard you were from my area of Andor and I was wondering if you had news of home?"
Taija offered a quick prayer to the Creator for patience in dealing with teenagers who thought they were being clever. "Well, uh it's been a white since I was home, Houndstooth is a long way from here."
Then the other novice spoke up, even Taija could tell her accent was more refined than Egwene's. "Forgive me my lady, but you do not sound Andoran."
Fine. Taija had had enough. Patience exhausted, she whipped round to face Egwene. "Cut the crap girl. What exactly is it that you want?" Her voice was a low hiss and Egwene briefly recoiled before her self-confidence reasserted itself.
The two novices glanced at each other. "We want you to teach her."
"No." Taija didn't break her stride.
"But…"
Taija cut Egwene off, her voice saccharine sweet. "What would I, a lady from a minor Andoran village, be able to teach someone like you? You should ask the aes sedai to help you."
Taija was saved from any further conversation by reaching the library. The girls peeled off to whatever they were meant it be doing, just before she went in. Perhaps they were nervous about being seen bothering her by one of the White Tower's aes sedai.