I am back once more! For those of you who are Scoundrels fans, I know I haven't updated it in a while; sorry about that, the next chapter is nearly done. Space Marine 2 is out, so in honor of it, here's more of Titus's cousins doing silly things. Enjoy! (Also, thanks to LoyalOrange for a few ideas for rules, which I have included here.)

DragonBlaze-X: Thanks! I hope you like this one!

Krieger Techpriest: 533... someone decided that coating their brother in donut sugar was a good way to distract the Tyranids. Also, please stop encouraging the Librarians. They really don't need that. I hope you enjoy!

the metaphysical god of heroes: FRANZ! FRANZ! FRANZ! FRANZ! FRANZ!

oOo

551. No longer allowed to turn conjoined twins into Space Marines.

552. No longer allowed to start a pick-up football game with the Orks.

553. If the planetary governor finds his hover-car crashed into the palace's main fountain, you'd better not be the prime, usual, or only subject.

554. No longer allowed to billet the annoying remembrancer in the emergency airlock.

555. No longer allowed to wear 'What Would the Lion Do?' bracelets.

556. The Libarius is no longer allowed to intimidate Chaos psykers by summoning bigger versions of whatever they just summoned.

557. That time where the Orks ended up worshiping me as a living god never happened.

558. 'Hysterically laughing at the Tau's general existence' is not a valid battle plan.

559. Librarians, 'Beer Me' is not a real nor approved spell.

560. When challenging someone to an honor duel, it's generally thought you're going to face them at ten paces with swords or pistols, not at ten kilometers with a deathstrike missile.

561. Purple Orks only exist in your head.

562. Please do bear in mind that 'Obstetrician' and 'Deathwatch Terminator' are normally mutually-exclusive titles, Brother Verian, so don't be surprised if you're not getting much business.

563. You do not need thirty tons of duct tape for any reason whatsoever.

564. Anyone who speculates on the nature of the relationship between Lord Commander Guilliman and Emissary Yvraine is getting sent on a penitent crusade.

565. STOP MAKING PUNS ABOUT 'CALLING CAWL'!
566. No longer allowed to substitute chainswords for butter churns filled with bees.

567. No longer allowed to find a peaceful resolution to the crusade just to piss off the Black Templars.

568. No longer allowed to make a Space Marine kickline dance team.

569. 10th Company's 'Non-Com Inventive Swearing Contest' is hereby canceled after someone got a bit too creative and accidentally summoned a daemon.

570. Space Wolves' beards are not living creatures, no matter how much evidence to the contrary.

571. If chapter command asks what you're doing, the response better not be 'the Charleston'.

572. No longer allowed to make snow angels out of blood and gore after a high-intensity battle.

573. Even if the Guardsmen or Sisters were doing it first.

574. No longer allowed to ask your weapon for advice.

575. If your weapon actually does give you advice in reply, please see the Librarius immediately.

576. It's in bad form to lock the Rhino's doors when passing by the Blood Ravens' camp.

577. Rad Warfare Protocols are not the solution to all of life's problems.

578. The Librarians are no longer allowed to peer into the skeins of time and fate to figure out who they should take out life insurance policies on.

579. The Master of the Forge is to put the jokaero back where he found it.

580. No longer allowed to kidnap Leandros, Cato Sicarius, and Watch Captain Artemis and throw them into the Eye of Terror, no matter how much it might benefit the Imperium.

581. The answer to any question including the words 'Librarian', 'battle barge', and 'disco balls', is a resounding no.

582. The answer to all of life's problems is not 'punch it really hard in the face.'

583. No longer allowed to confuse everyone on the battlefield by screaming 'Hydra Dominatus!' then doing random things.

584. No longer allowed to perform 'Crazy Ivans' when driving land raiders.

585. If you give the Commissar an aneurysm, you took the joke too far.

586. Plan B is not automatically twice as many explosives as Plan A.

587. No longer allowed to outfit the Rhinos with the same color scheme and horn as the General Lee from The Dukes of Hazzard.

588. Tools for apothecaries consist of more than a bonesaw and bottle of whiskey.

589. Exterminatus is not a diversion.

590. Exorcisms require more than repeatedly screaming "F* off"!

591. We do not need Guardsmen on our ships for the same reason miners need canaries.

592. You were not issued a flamer for your own personal amusement.

593. 'Commissar-Assisted Suicide' is indeed a real cause of death on legal Imperial death forms.

594. The Eldar do not have a hive mind.

595. No longer allowed to call Trajann Valoris 'Kitten'.

596. No longer allowed to convince the Guardsmen that genestealers are xenos that steal your jeans.

597. Call the Ultramarines 'U' symbol a toilet seat within their earshot at your own risk.

598. No longer allowed to challenge the Noise Marines to a sing-off.

599. No longer allowed to turn off the Gellar Field while in the Warp because you were bored.

600. Or for any other reason.

oOo

There we have it! I hope you all enjoy. As always, if you have any questions, comments, concerns, criticisms, or reviews, I'd love to hear them.