As usual all speech in italics is meant to be in the Old Tongue.
Chapter XXVII - How to Forget
Elayne was running through some of the exercises Taija had taught her with Egwene, trying to calm herself down. She'd seen the signs of the battle outside Falme, but Moiraine had told her to wait patiently while she went out to investigate. Surely Taija would be alright, after Falme she couldn't imagine anything doing much to slow the small woman down, even one of the Forsaken, whatever Egwene had said!
However, her best efforts at emptying her mind and focusing were ruined when Aleksi burst in. Without knocking too. The man was clearly very worked up about something, his face was red and he was shifting from foot to foot with nervous energy.
"Egwene, Elayne, I need your help, Taija needs your help!" He burst out as soon as she looked up at him.
Instantly alert she stood, mirrored by Egwene, "why, what's happened?"
As Aleksi breathlessly explained her worry only grew. "There's something very wrong with her. You saw there was a battle. Moiraine and I went to investigate and she seemed to have won. She was there anyway and she didn't seem hurt. But when we reached her she was just kneeling there in the middle of a burnt circle of glass. I called out to her, but she just looked at us and then she made one of her gateways and vanished."
Egwene looked concerned, but Elayne shrugged putting on her kindest voice, "but Aleksi you know how she is, she vanishes all the time. Surely you have known her long enough not to worry about that."
Aleksi seemed to be almost boiling over with frustration, struggling to keep his voice under control. "Yes! Of course! But you don't understand, you weren't there. She was just kneeling there and her eyes, I've never seen her look like that, so… defeated…"
He trailed off and Elayne exchanged a glance with Egwene. "So you think something's wrong with her?"
"Yes! That's what I've been saying!" Elayne could see Egwene bristling at his tone, but the poor man was clearly very stressed.
"Alright we understand," she shot a warning glance at Egwene. "What can we do to help."
"I think we need to find her, I think, well I hope, she's come back to Falme, but even if she's unhurt, we need to make sure. If she's in trouble, well I know she likes the two of you, she might accept help from the three of us." Elayne couldn't help but consider what that said about some of the other people in Falme.
"Alright Aleksi, I understand. We'll help you look." Elayne sighed internally and gave him a comforting smile. She didn't really think Taija was likely to be in any difficulty, but it wouldn't hurt to reassure the poor man. Plus she was bored of the exercises. "We will find Nynaeve, she will want to come too and then we will go."
Egwene sighed audibly, but went to find her overcoat to protect against the cool autumn evening air.
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Asking people whether they'd seen Taija in the area around the palace had not brought any success, so an increasingly worried Egwene suggested that they strike out further. Falme was not a huge town and if something was wrong then Taija might not be around the palace.
They quickly set about their search. Asking people on the street, traders and passers by quickly got them stories of a short, dark-skinned woman wearing men's clothing who had rudely pushed her way down the street, without seeming to even acknowledge anyone.
Elayne's heart raced, the description matched, but the behaviour did not at all. Taija was often rude, but rarely to strangers or deliberately so. More just through lack of understanding. It was increasingly clear that something was wrong.
That was why they had a sense of urgency driving all four of them as they followed Taija's trail into worse and worse parts of the town until they came to an inn.
It looked exciting. A ragged sign swung in the breeze and the dingy light from inside barely penetrated the evening gloom on the street. Elayne could see stains up its wooden walls and she was fairly sure the picture on the sign was something rude, if only she could make it out better in the dim light.
In a way it fit with the area they were in. It did not look at all like the places she was used to visiting. Nynaeve had already threatened to hit several men on the way here and she was fairly sure the only reason they were not getting more unwanted attention was Aleksi and his staff.
Even through her suppressed excitement at actually visiting a real inn Elayne could see that this one was not a particularly welcoming place, but the street trader had been insistent that he had seen Taija going into it. She could see Egwene and Nynaeve's reluctance to even set foot in the place. Aleksi looked nervous too.
"Come on, we need to go in!" She said, trying not to sound too enthusiastic, and pushed open the door. She could not see Taija frequenting a place like this, she had never even seen her drink alcohol in fact, but it was not like they had anywhere else to try.
Something crunched unpleasantly under her shoe when she entered the common room, but the first thing that struck her was the smell. Stale beer, sweat and more. The place was filthy, disgustingly so and, if she was honest with herself, the clientele looked terrifying. There were even a couple of badly injured looking men lying against the walls, presumably victims of some bar room brawl.
As the others came in behind her, Egwene whispered to her. "Something's wrong, it's too quiet!"
Elayne opened her mouth to tell her not to be silly and then closed it again. Egwene was right she realised. She knew how these places were meant to be. Full of raucous men carousing, singing and maybe brawling.
This inn was dead silent, creepily so, not even conversations, just hard men looking towards her, with what she could swear was desperation in their eyes. Dead silent except for quiet sobbing coming from the back.
Was that Taija?! Elayne took a step forward only to be intercepted by the innkeeper. A portly man with a stained apron, he was wringing his hands together and looked terrified. "Light bless you my lady, are you here for the aes sedai?" His tone was a frantic whisper and his eyes pleaded for her to say yes. What in the Light had happened here?
Thinking quickly, Elayne nodded, "yes we are here for her. If you could just…"
"Oh thank the Creator!" The innkeeper interrupted, "please…"
"Do not worry sir," Elayne fumbled in her purse and pressed a couple of gold pieces into his hand, "we will have her out of here."
Shooting the others a look, she tentatively headed towards the table that must be Taija's. In the dim light Elayne could not see her very well until she got closer. The woman was a mess. She was sat on her own at a rough wooden table, an empty goblet in front of her. Her black hair was a complete tangle and were those scorch marks on her overcoat? She was looking down at the table unaware of the room, her shoulders heaving with quiet sobs.
Egwene gasped from beside Elayne and immediately rushed forward, ignoring Elayne's "wait!"
"Taija sedai, what's wrong? What happened?" Egwene put her hand on Taija's shoulder, concern and fear filling her voice.
For what she thought might be the first time ever, Elayne saw the light of saidar spring up around Taija a weave, web, wrapping round Egwene's arm before Taija looked up. Bleary, tear filled brown eyes met Egwene's own and the web vanished again as quickly as it had appeared.
"Oh, it's you. I… I thought you were someone else." Taija looked back down to her goblet and downed it before waving at the serving girl, "another!"
Egwene glanced back to the rest of them, looking confused before trying again, "Taija sedai, I think you've had enough, let's get you out of this place, it's not appropriate or safe."
Taija waved vaguely at her, "it's perfectly safe, everyone's lovely here. Anyway I definitely haven't had enough. I haven't forgotten yet." She raised her voice, "another!"
Egwene looked back at them panic in her eyes, "I think she's speaking the Old Tongue. I can't understand her!" Turning back to Taija her voice took on a cajoling tone, "come on Taija sedai, please come with us."
Taija's attention swung back to Egwene, the tears seemed to have stopped, but her eyes were still watery, unfocused. "It's not the Old Tongue, it's the Common Tongue." She emphasised the name as if speaking to a child. "I don't see why I should put up with you stealing my language's name as well as everything else. You can call your stupid language the New Tongue instead." She folded her arms across her chest with finality.
"Taija! You're drunk!" Egwene pulled gently on her arm, "come on, please leave."
Taija reached up and gently pushed Egwene's hand off her arm. "Egwene dear, you're lovely and I know it's not your fault you don't speak the Common Tongue and I don't blame you at all, but I've had enough. I want to speak my own language." Her tone was earnest, like she really really wanted Egwene to understand. "I've accommodated you people enough, if we can't communicate in a civilised language then we can't communicate at all."
Taija paused in her ramble. "Anyway I'm not drunk. I haven't forgotten yet…" her voice trailed off, "oh Tel why?!" She started sobbing again.
Egwene was left standing there looking completely unsure about what to do. Elayne could hear Nynaeve berating the innkeeper about something behind her and Aleksi looked helpless. It seemed she needed to take control of the situation.
Gently she came forward and moved Egwene aside before taking a seat next to the sobbing Taija. She had always done well in her lessons, but trying to talk a drunken aes sedai out of an inn in the Old Tongue was going well beyond them.
She took a moment to work out the words in her head, "Taija sedai, Taija it is ok. We are your friends and we are worried about you. Come with us to somewhere nicer and we can talk."
Again Taija looked up, "oh Elayne, you're here too." She gave her a weak smile. "And there's Aleksi, such a nice boy. It's nice to hear you speak a proper language. Your pronunciation is wrong and you make grammatical mistakes, but you're at least comprehensible. Not like most of the barbarians in this Light-forsaken time." Her face crumpled and the light of saidar sprang up around her a weave of air extending past Elayne's shoulder.
Elayne heard a pair of outraged shouts and turning saw both a jug of what she assumed was wine floating towards the table, pursued by the innkeeper and Nynaeve.
The innkeeper came to a sudden halt as he met Taija's eyes and retreated impressively quickly for a man of his size. Elayne wondered what had happened to make him so scared of her. Nynaeve on the other hand was made of sterner stuff.
"Taija, you need to get yourself under control right this instance, put the jug down and come with us. You're embarrassing yourself and everyone…"
"Shhhh!" Taija cut her off. "I'm not talking to you unless you use a civilised language." She poured wine into her goblet, slopping a load of it onto the table at the same time. "I haven't forgotten yet."
Elayne could see Nynaeve was about to explode and hurriedly spoke, "see Taija, this is an inn of poor quality, if we are going home, we have much better wine there. I think Nynaeve is scared here too, so we need to help get her to a safer place." She felt a little guilty for the last sentence, but what Nynaeve couldn't understand couldn't hurt her.
Taija hiccuped and took a defiant swig from her goblet. "Ok. Fine… We can go. This wine really is terrible, I drank better than this when I was an undergraduate, but you promise you have more at home?" Elayne nodded. "Alright, but only because I don't want Nynaeve to be scared, she's a strong girl, but I can still see how scared she is sometimes." Taija stared intently at Nynaeve for a second as if searching for her fear. "Better wine will be good," she muttered, "like Tel and I used to drink at the… Oh Tel!" She started sobbing again, but at least she was getting up.
They must have made an odd sight Elayne mused as she apologised again to the innkeeper. Taija had nearly fallen over her own feet and was now being half-supported, half-carried by Egwene and Aleksi. Nynaeve was circling them, muttering darkly under her breath and Taija was rambling something in the Old Tongue about what a nice boy Aleksi was and how lucky it was he'd found her, which didn't seem quite right, surely aes sedai found their warders, not the other way round.
As they exited the inn, Elayne glanced behind her one last time, seeing every terrified eye in the room follow them out.
"What did you say about me?" Nynaeve half-whispered half-hissed to her.
"Oh, just that you were worried about her and if she did not come you would be upset." Elayne covered up a smile.
It was awkward walking back through Falme, every time they passed an inn Elayne had to divert Taija back to their path. Fortunately she did not seem particularly inclined to, or maybe capable of, heading off on her own.
She was still refusing to speak the Common Tongue though, pretending not to understand it too, and as they progressed through the streets her ramblings seemed to be growing more and more depressed.
"I loved him you know… He was the best thing that ever happened to me. When he smiled and now…. Oh Tel!" She started sobbing again.
Egwene looked helplessly at her and Elayne tried to think of what to say. "I think she's upset about a man named Tel. She keeps saying how much she loved him." It felt odd saying it right in front of Taija, but she seemed utterly determined not to acknowledge anything not said in the Old Tongue.
"Ask her who he is!" Egwene whispered angrily.
"Uhh Taija, who is Tel?" She was not sure it was a good idea to ask, but he seemed to be the source of the woman's anguish. Silently she swore to herself that she would make him pay for breaking Taija's heart whoever he was.
"Tel… he was he was so adorable. Such beautiful blue eyes. And then he did this! How could he?! The fucking arsehole I'll kill him heal him and then kill him again!" Taija voice rose to a crescendo and then broke back into sobbing.
"What did you say?" Hissed Aleksi as Taija's wail of anguish broke back into sobbing.
"I just asked who Tel was!" There was another wail at his name. "Did you know him?"
Aleksi shook his head, "no, how's she even had time?!"
"Maybe he's from Shara?" She turned away before she could see the confused look in Aleksi's eyes and gently rubbed Taija's back, "it will be alright Taija." It did not seem to do much to calm her down.
Luckily once they were taking a direct route it did not take them long to make their way back to the palace and gently wrestle Taija back to her room, ignoring the shocked stares from servants.
They quickly got her settled in a chair, still sobbing quietly. Elayne could see that they were all hovering, unsure of how to deal with this. This was not how an aes sedai was meant to behave, certainly not how Taija was meant to behave! She poured herself a cup of water and pulled up a chair beside the distraught woman.
Maybe she just needed to talk? "Everything will be alright Taija sedai."
Taija mumbled something almost incomprehensible through her sobs, but Elayne took her best guess at what she had said.
"I know it's not fair. You will feel better in the morning." She took a gulp from her water, this felt like it might be a long night. The poor woman was clearly devastated, although she could not work out why, she had never even mentioned being in relationship with someone named Tel before. Had she been having some kind of liaison in private? Elayne firmly stifled a giggle at the idea of Taija mooning over some lackwit man from Falme.
"I loved him you know. Years of my life! My fiancé, just thrown away. Fucking arsehole!"
"I am sorry for your loss Taija. Was he in Shara?" Fiancé… what did that mean, Elayne tried to work out Taija's words, making a note of the curses at the same time. It sounded like marriage but with a suffix for the future… Perhaps betrothed? That made sense, it must be somebody from Shara, or wherever Taija was from.
Taija looked at her through blurry eyes. "What's a Shara? We met in Jalanda."
"Taija, where is Jalanda?" She felt a bit bad asking now with the woman in the state that she was, but she needed to know. Maybe knowing would help her help Taija or so she told herself.
Taija reached up and patted her on the cheek, "Elayne you're a sweetheart, if a bit badly behaved at times, but you really should fire your tutors. Jalanda is… Jalanda was in the south of… Oh Light! They fucked it all up, that prick Lews Therin, the Shadow, the Hall of the Servants all of them. Breaking the world, ruining everything and now there's nothing."
Elayne gasped, surely she could not mean… Surely Egwene's ridiculous theory was not the right one… "Taija are you saying you met him in the Age of Legends?"
"Don't call it that!" The woman was moving back into anger now, her voice rising. "The motherfucking arsehole. How could you do this to me Tel?! How could you do it to everybody else?! I hope you burn in Shayol Ghul where you belong!"
Elayne winced, while making more mental notes. Motherfucking was new, she gave a little shiver as she parsed it in her head. "I am so sorry but surely you don't mean that," she murmured.
"He's dead." Taija shook her head, "no I just wish he was dead."
"I am sure you do not mean that Taija," the woman really was overwrought. She really could not work out why she was suddenly having a breakdown now, everything had been going well for her now. Surely nothing could have changed for her, even if Egwene had been right about her, which still seemed faintly ridiculous. If she was betrothed then then it was ancient history, of course it was sad for her, but triggering this? Perhaps someone had said something to her?
"Fucking shithole world. How could he! Joining the Forsaken! Fucking Sammael." Elayne had been taking a sip from her water and promptly spat it across the room. Taija did not seem to notice, just ranting on. "It's a shit name too, might as well be Ishamael-lite just like he's turned into Demandred-lite. How could I not see it. What the hell was wrong with me?"
It was at that point that Nynaeve decided to intervene.
======
Nynaeve had had enough of this. She'd taken the time while Elayne tried to comfort the overwrought woman to fill a tub of water in the corner of the room.
Elayne had had her chance now, but really she was far too nice for her own good. Trying to talk Taija down and then indulging her childish refusal to speak the Common Tongue. Well predictably that hadn't worked, the woman was as drunk as anyone Nynaeve had ever seen and frankly it was an embarrassment. Egwene and Aleksi were both hovering like useless decorations, she supposed they couldn't help it. Egwene worshiped the woman and men were never any use in these kinds of circumstances.
When Elayne spat her water across the room Nynaeve decided it was time for the only adult in the room to take over.
"Taija, don't you want another drink? I've got one for you here." Taija's sobs diminished to sniffles and she looked up, her refusal to understand the Common Tongue forgotten. Nynaeve ignored Elayne's frantic gestures to stop, taking one of Taija's arms and hauling her to her feet. The woman was surprisingly light, this would be much easier than with some of the women back in Emond's Field.
"Come on Taija, just come and sit here and I'll give you your drink." She firmly guided the woman to a stool in front of the the tub of water and sat her down. Taija was rambling something in the Old Tongue, something about Sammael, ha! Another point supporting her suspicions about the woman.
She wasn't going to take any pleasure from this, but former Forsaken or not the woman needed to pull herself together. She rubbed Taija's back and moved her hand up to the back of her head.
Nynaeve didn't see Elayne's look of abject horror or the sudden movement towards her from Aleksi and Egwene as they realised what she was about to do.
"Now let's get you your drink Taija," her voice was comforting. Then she pushed her head straight down towards the cold water.
Things happened very fast at that point.
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Elayne stared wide eyed at what had just happened in front of her. Nynaeve stood there, frozen in a web of air that wrapped around her arm and body and blocking any sound from her mouth. It had been incredibly fast, one moment Taija's head was descending towards the water, the next the light of saidar had sprung up around her and Nynaeve was immobilised, lifted off the floor.
Taija looked round at Nynaeve, "that wasn't a very nice joke Nynaeve."
Oh Light, she never had a great hold on her temper, the woman was going to explode. Both women would. Elayne started considering which of Taija and Nyneave she should try to shield when Nynaeve took matters into her own hands. With an outraged gasp saidar lit up around her, only to wink out again almost instantly.
"Nope." Taija casually pushed a shield into place. How strong was that woman? Elayne watched as she levered herself to her feet, swaying slightly to look Nynaeve in the eyes.
======
That hadn't been nice at all of Nynaeve. Now wasn't the time for pranks. Taija was going to get very drunk and then she was going to kill him. Still… she shouldn't make Nynaeve feel bad though.
Taija reached up and pat her on the cheek. "I like you Nynaeve. You're…" she paused to think, words were important, "you're good people and I like that about you, but you shouldn't play mean pranks on people." Taija tried to poke her in the stomach, but there was something in the way, blocking her finger. Oh well.
She smiled reassuringly at the woman, "you're a nice girl really Nynaeve, but you need to do some growing up." Why was Elayne coughing? Taija hoped she was ok, she wasn't very good at healing.
"It's important though… it's important that." Oh she wouldn't understand. Taija sighed, she really didn't want to speak their mushy language, it was all mush mush mush like mashed potatoes. But it was important, she was a nice girl but Light she didn't want the poor woman to end up like her so just for now… "it's important to know… let me give you some advice you see I'm old. I've seen you with Lan… He's very you know," Taija gestured vaguely and nodded, "yes he's very you know and you have to be careful because men…"
She turned back to Elayne, she still couldn't stop thinking about Tel, however hard she tried. "Elayne, I want another drink. I'm going out. You should stay here you're too young. You too Egwene. Nynaeve, Aleksi you can come if you want."
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Elayne exchanged a look with Egwene, "why do you not sit back down Taija, you look tired."
Unfortunately Taija now had a determined look in her watery eyes. "No! I haven't drunk enough yet, I can still remember. I need more to drink and there's none here…" she trailed off, biting her bottom lip and then decisively staggered towards the door, Nynaeve apparently forgotten. Aleksi ran forward to catch her when she stumbled, but seemed to be more interested in keeping her upright than in persuading her to stay, useless man!
"Should we try to stop her?" Egwene whispered?
"I do not think we can! Do you want to end up like her?" Elayne glanced at Nynaeve who was trailing along in the air behind Taija like a furious streamer. She could not understand how the woman could hold saidar like that in her condition let alone channel effectively.
"What was she saying? I couldn't understand any of it!" Following after Taija in a strange little procession Egwene took the opportunity to interrogate Elayne.
Elayne blanched, "she she was talking about her betrothed." Light how could she explain that?
"Her betrothed? She never mentioned anyone before… All I could understand was her complaining about the Forsaken."
"That is… She was…" there was no way to say it delicately. "She was saying she was from the Age of Legends and her betrothed had become Sammael."
Egwene gasped, "that's not funny Elayne!"
"I am not joking, it is not funny at all. She was saying she met this Tel before the Breaking and now he is Sammael!"
Ahead of them Taija was rambling at Aleksi, something about how she knew he would never treat a girl that badly and maybe he should… Elayne was fairly sure that suggestion was deeply inappropriate.
Egwene's hand pulling on her arm took her mind away from the distraction. Then she said one of the most mature things Elayne had ever heard her say. "Elayne, we can't deal with this. I don't know how to handle someone this drunk and if it's true… this Sammael," her voice caught on the name, "thing, it's too much. We can't help her like this. I'm going to fetch Moiraine!"
"You are right, thank you Egwene, I will do my best to keep Taija from doing anything foolish until you can get her here!"
Ahead of them Taija seemed to have already found an inn. A much nicer one than the last she absently noted. That did not stop the whole common room from descending into dead silence when Taija walked in trailing Nynaeve in the air behind her.
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Mat took another bite of the chicken leg. It had been a good night, he'd gotten away from the judgmental stares of the women in the palace and this inn seemed to be full of people looking to lose money dicing with him.
He'd always been lucky, but tonight he only seemed to be able to win. If only he could get away from this town full of aes sedai and Rand, Light burn him how could he be the Dragon Reborn… that and if his head would stop feeling like dice were rattling around inside it, the night might be perfect.
With a grin he put the thought aside and shook his dice cup, preparing his throw only to stop as he realised silence had fallen over the common room and his tablemates were staring wide eyed over his shoulder.
It had better bloody not be the bloody women. He turned to look with a sigh. If he'd known how much worse it was going to be, he'd have dived out the window without hesitating right then.
Normally Mat would have found the sight hilarious, but whatever the girls thought, he was no fool, he knew when to keep his mouth shut. As soon as he saw the aes sedai, Taija, standing there swaying with a blank stare her tongue slightly stuck out in concentration and Nynaeve hanging in the air behind her looking like she might explode any second, he stood from the table, sweeping his winnings into his pouch. If he could just get out before any of them spotted him…
Unfortunately when he stepped away from the table Taija's eyes zeroed in on him like a hawk, "oh you're Rand's friend. I helped heal you you know, at least there's one good thing I've done. One thing that's not fucked up. That I haven't fucked up." Her voice was slurred. "I didn't want to you know… I hate linking, but I still did it, for you. Tel would have…" Her face crumpled at that and tears started to trickle down her cheek again. Light, she was completely drunk, he needed to get out of there! He bloody well didn't want to be dealing with a drunk aes sedai, let alone with Nynaeve watching. It would end up being his fault whatever he did.
Sketching a bow, he gave his most ingratiating smile to her as he tried to slide past her. "My apologies Taija sedai, but I have an urgent errand to attend to."
She sniffled and looked over from the spot on the wall she'd been staring at, "you speak the Common Tongue?" A note of hopefulness shot through her tone and the dice came to a crashing stop in his head.
Blood and bloody ashes, this wasn't happening. "I can see you are busy Taija sedai, I shall not interfere." Anyway what was the woman on about, of course he spoke the Common Tongue.
"No no no," Light, the woman was stronger than she looked. Mat found himself being firmly dragged back to his table. The glares of Nynaeve and Elayne following him. Of course his former gambling partners had already made an exit. In fact it seemed like most of the people in the inn were discretely leaving. Helplessly Mat let himself be tugged back down next to Taija, "you're the only person here who can speak properly. You sound odd, like a farmer, but rich." She squinted at him, "you're not from my time are you? Will you buy me a drink?"
Mat desperately tried to extricate himself from her grasp, looking to Nynaeve and Elayne for help that wasn't coming. "I think you have had enough to drink Taija sedai." What did she mean about the way he spoke? He bloody well spoke normally thank you very much.
"I have not." Her declaration was firm and went against all the evidence.
Mat looked more closely at her, Light! The woman was barely holding herself together, were those tear streaks on her. "Perhaps Elayne and Nynaeve can sit with…"
She cut him off, "no! You're a nice boy, you speak properly Elayne can't help it, but she sounds like a pompous ten year old." She looked worried for a second, "don't tell her I said that, it's not her fault." She paused and then spoke louder, "Elayne dear if you can sort out your accent I'll teach you all the swear words, I've seen you listening. I'll do it if… No I shouldn't it would be bad to do that… You're too young… I'd be turning evil… like Tel…" While he goggled at Elayne who was staring at them with something between confusion and horror, she reached out and grabbed his cup taking a big swig.
Blood and bloody ashes, he swiped his cup back. "Taija sedai, I really do think you should stop."
She pulled a disgusted face. "That's vile. I want wine. You know you remind me of a boy I knew, that was in a bar after the Blackthorn Offensive. He was so sweet, just like you. He asked me out you know and I had to tell him I had a boyfriend. Oh Light!" Her face screwed up and she started sobbing again, burying her face in his shoulder.
Mat had no idea what to do. Women were bad enough when they cried, he always found it was best to let them get it out and make yourself scarce until they were done. Again he tried to gently urge Taija off himself while shooting Elayne pleading looks. Of course there was no help coming from there. Bloody woman, Nynaeve at least had the excuse that she was floating in the air.
What were you meant to do? It wasn't just any woman too it was a flaming aes sedai. He'd heard the stories. Heard about the way she'd expressionlessly murdered her way through half the Seanchan in Falme. He wanted nothing to do with it. Gingerly he patted her on the back, "it will all come out well in the end Taija sedai."
"It won't, it can't," she sobbed into his shoulder. "He's not even dead, why isn't he dead? I want him to be dead!"
"I am sure you do not mean that," he desperately kept patting. "You are upset now, but it will pass, not even breaking the heart of a beautiful woman deserves death." Why in the Light did he say that? Also why was Elayne franticly waving at him to stop.
"What did he do?!" Taija's voice rose to a wail, "he joined the Forsaken. He changed his name to Sammael. How could he?! We fought together we watched friends die. Why couldn't he die too? Why couldn't I die too so I didn't have to see this? I'm stuck in a medieval shithole of a world where everyone hates me and the one person I love has betrayed everything we stood for."
Sammael?! Surely not, but suddenly Elayne's frantic gestures made sense. "Burn me and the walls of Manetheren too! Your boyfriend was one of the Forsaken?" Taija just wailed more loudly.
It was at that point that Egwene ran in with Moiraine, her aes sedai composure broken by the worried look on her face and hastily donned clothing. Just what he needed, another flaming aes sedai to make his evening even worse. Then again, maybe she'd be better at dealing with one of her own, the woman's tears were soaking through his coat.
"Taija sedai you need…" Moiraine hesitated, reaching out with a small hand to the crying woman, "Taija sedai I'm so sorry you need to come with me, we need to get you…"
To Mat's surprise her musical voice was gentle and actually sounded sympathetic. He hadn't thought the woman was capable of it. Taija on the other hand was not impressed. "No! Leave me alone!"
"Taija sedai, please I just want to help."
"You've "helped" enough. Every time I look at you you remind of me of everything wrong with the aes sedai of this time. At least Siuan does something useful, she can solve problems. You just manipulate people, pretending you're better than all of them. Aes sedai? You think everyone else should be your servant. Living off the glory of my people and perverting everything we stood for."
Mat jumped when a few of the bottles behind the bar suddenly exploded with a crack. Taija looked dumbly at them for a second and then buried her face in his shoulder again. At the same time Nynaeve thumped to the ground with an outraged squawk. "Go away Moiraine I don't want to look at you, you just remind me of everything I want to forget."
What was wrong with this woman? Shouting at her fellow aes sedai like that! He needed to get away from this before things went more wrong. Light blind the woman for turning up like this! Absently he rubbed Taija's back, "it will be alright Taija sedai, all will be well in the end."
Moiraine turned on her heel and left with Egwene in tow, her face as blank as Mat had ever seen it. Nynaeve seemed to want to throw herself at Taija and beat her with her fists and with a mental sigh he prepared himself to get between them. Light what was he even thinking? Luckily Elayne stepped in and seemed to be whispering urgently to her. Why was Nynaeve going pale?
Taija seemed to have stopped crying again, pulling herself up from his shoulder. He made the mistake of meeting her eyes, they were burning with fury now. "He thinks he can do this to me. I won't take it. I've ended better men than him!" Her anger was briefly disrupted as she sniffed loudly. "I'm going to kill him. I already killed one of them. Asmodean was nothing, he'll be less than nothing when I'm done with him."
Asmodean?! "Taija sedai, perhaps you should wait a while," he franticly wracked his brain for an excuse. "Any precipitous action could end badly."
Her eyes softened briefly. "You're a nice boy Mat, don't ever change." They hardened again. "No I won't let him get away with this. I'm going to kill him right now."
"But you do not know where he is." Mat was quickly running out of excuses.
"I'll find him. Come on, you're coming with me, you're nice and you can find me another drink afterwards." She looked over at Nynaeve and Elayne, "not you two though. You complaint too much Nynaeve and you're too young Elayne."
Oh Light she was standing up, she actually meant it. A wavering hole seemed to appear in the air, slicing a table in half to a brief scream from Elayne who'd been standing nearby.
Mat did the only thing he could think of, "Taija, we should have another drink first, I think you could do with one."
She paused in her efforts at getting up, looking thoughtful, and the hole in the air vanished. "You're right, I do want another drink." She patted him on the cheek, "you really are a nice boy, go buy me one. I'll pay you back."
Tentatively Mat got up, wondering if he should make a run for the door, but under Taija's drunken gaze his feet took him to the bar. Burn her, he couldn't just leave her to whatever Nynaeve would do to her if he left. "What are you doing?" Hissed Nynaeve to him, "you can't be getting her more drink, look at her!"
Well one thing he'd already had enough of was flaming women, let alone aes sedai lecturing him and Nynaeve was close enough to being both. "I'm trying to save her bloody life is what I'm doing and mine with it," he hissed back while grabbing a bottle from behind the bar. "She's saying Sammael's broken her heart and she wants to go and kill him now, in her state. What would you rather? That she tries to jump through one of her holes in the air to fight one of the bloody Forsaken or that she drinks until she passes out?"
That seemed to take the wind out of Nynaeve's sails and so he found himself coming back to the table and sitting down beside Taija again, letting her grasping hand take the bottle off him so that she could gulp some down. After a moment he took the bottle back from her and took a deep pull of his own. He needed it.
Taija seemed to have calmed down a bit, sitting there silently staring at the wine bottle. Still, when she reached for it and took another gulp he wondered whether he should try to stop her.
"Taija sedai, maybe you should get to bed now. I think you have had a long day and everything will look better in the morning."
"No. I need to be precisely drunk enough that I forget. I haven't forgotten yet. Then I'll just Travel home." What little composure she had wavered, "oh Light I can never go home again!" This time instead of bursting into tears she visibly made an effort to master herself. "Actually I think I'm too drunk to Travel, can you call me a taxi in an hour or so?" What in the light was a taxi?
She reached into her blouse and for a second Mat was terrified he'd need to look away. He was always up for a kiss and a cuddle, but letting his eyes wander with a drunk aes sedai, he might as well just string himself up by the heels for Nynaeve. Luckily Taija just pulled out her necklace, with the pendant in her hand.
"See this? It's an angreal, very useful thing really." Mat heard Elayne gasp in the background and whisper to Nynaeve. "The important thing is though, it's from Adanza," she dropped her tone conspiratorially, "that's where I was born. That's why it's important, it's all that's left of there. 3,000 years, just gone. Five million people, poof!" She dropped the pendant and it fell to dangle outside her blouse
She reached out and took another swig from the bottle and then held it up in confusion. It was already empty.
Taija sighed, "the service in this bar isn't very good. Maybe I should buy it. I don't want to be a soldier anymore, I could run away and own a bar. I think I'm rich. Am I rich Mat?" Before he could answer she continued on, muttering, "compound interest for 3,000 years, I must be rich." She raised her voice again. "Elayne, you're rich, you're a princess. Where's the nearest branch of the Jalanda Central Bank?"
Mat could already see her mind moving to the next step, which he just knew would be crying about this Adanza place no longer existing. Desperately he said the first thing that came to mind, giving her his best roguish grin, "another drink Taija sedai?"
That did distract her. "Young man are you trying to get me drunk?" She gave him a sideways look. "No, you're far too nice, more drink please."
As Mat got up from the table Elayne gave him another look that promised retribution and hurried over to sit down, taking Taija's hand. Nynaeve seemed to have retreated to the corner to stew, at least she wasn't trying to involve herself. He wished Rand or Perrin was here, they knew how to talk to women.
As Mat returned to the table another bottle in hand, he heard Elayne talking urgently in a low tone to Taija. "Taija sedai, please stop drinking. I know you're hurt, but you're only going to regret it in the morning."
Taija gave the girl a long look and for a second Mat paused, thinking with growing relief that she might actually agree. Then something, the Power, grabbed the bottle from his hands and he watched it fly over to Taija's waiting hand.
"Elayne," she took a swig, "I'm 180… 180ish years old… 3180…" She seemed to lose track of her thoughts and Mat took the opportunity to grab the bottle and drink some himself. "Anyway, I know things, I've seen the way you look at young Rand, you should do something about that… He's a nice young man and you're both so tense." She paused and Mat wondered if she was about to pass out and then she leaned in to Elayne, but completely forgot to change the volume of her voice. "I think you should get him alone and ride him dry." Mat spat his mouthful of wine across the table and Elayne flushed bright red in embarrassment. "Don't worry about that Min girl, you're a princess… and a redhead. Men love redheads. Just don't fall in love with him. They break your heart..." She trailed off lost in thought as Elayne spluttered for words. He was going to regret this in the morning, it would be his fault somehow.
"Taija sedai! That is incredibly inappropriate. How could you say that? Rand and I are…"
"You people are so backwards. Stuffy, high noses." Taija turned her nose up, "it's not how an aes sedai should be. Is it because you don't have contraception nowadays?"
"What does 'contraception' mean?" Elayne asked in a tone that said she knew she'd regret asking.
Taija sighed, "of course you don't have it, but it's easy," she bit her bottom lip and crossed her eyes. "You just need to spin spirit, air and fire over your…"
She was interrupted by Elayne's shriek of "stop!" and subsided back into mumbling to herself before groping for the bottle.
"Just make sure he doesn't betray you. Oh Tel!" Her face crumpled again and Mat found himself with his arm round her while she sobbed into his shirt.
After a while, she looked up, cheeks tear stained, "do you think it was my fault? Did I make him do it?" Before he could answer she shook her head angrily, "no! The bastard, I'm not going to go blaming myself for it."
"No you should not blame yourself," he took another swig and gave her a comforting squeeze.
"Do you think he was planning it all even before? He was in charge for the Tuvian massacre, was that him?" Her voice dropped to a whisper."
What in the Light was he meant to say to that? "No I am sure he did not."
Luckily she wasn't really listening. "The bastard! He spat on everything we stood for. Everything! And now I'm alone in this Light forsaken time surrounded by peasants who can't even speak properly. Not you Mat, you're ok."
Mat thought the evening might be starting to calm down when the person he probably least wanted to see walked into the inn, looking red faced like she'd been in a hurry.
Taija looked up when she came in, "oh hello Siuan, I suppose you can stay and have a drink because you're sad too, but I don't want to talk to you so you can sit over there. I'm only talking to Mat tonight. Oh and Elayne, she's ok too." He winced and waited for the explosion.
=======
Siuan had not been having a good day. Wrestling aes sedai into doing what she wanted was worse than herding cats and setting up her own rebel Tower was harder work than being the uncontested Amyrlin had ever been. She had been looking forward to finally getting a good night's sleep when Moiraine and young Egwene had burst in. Moiraine was looking more flustered than she had seen the woman in the decades, since they obtained the shawl in fact.
"Siuan, you need to come to Falme, immediately." The near panic in Moiraine's voice brought her instantly back to full alertness.
"Why, what is going on? You look like you have barely escaped a mauling by a school of silverpike Moiraine." Despite her question, she was already getting dressed.
"Taija." Oh Light of course it was. That woman was either the greatest blessing or the greatest curse the Creator had seen fit to bestow on her. "She is… drunk. Very very drunk."
Siuan slowed her preparations. "And? I do not see why this requires me to give up my sleep."
"It is not just that she is drunk, but the reason for it."
Egwene jumped in, "mother, she's having some kind of breakdown over her betrothed. She's with Elayne and Nynaeve and Mat, but we don't know what to say to her. She just won't stop crying and drinking."
"When did she have time to get betrothed?" That woman was going to be the death of her. She should learn to control herself.
"Not now mother, her betrothed from before. She fought a battle with someone outside Falme and when she came back she just started drinking and won't stop. She keeps talking about Tel and I think… I know it sounds insane, but I think he was, is Sammael."
"Mother's milk in a cup!" The words came out before Siaun could stop them. She immediately shot Egwene a look that promised dire punishment if she ever spoke of it. "Why are you not there with her Moiraine?"
The woman actually looked embarrassed, "she refused to speak to me, just shouted at me to get out. It seems she does not approve of me. I thought she might at least speak to you."
Siuan sighed, "I suppose I must go at once then. We cannot leave her with those children, who knows what will happen if we do." She turned for the exit, "come Egwene. Moiraine please take us to the inn."
With the ability to Travel thousands of leagues in a single step, it did not take long before she reached the inn. Leaving Moiraine outside, Light knew what that woman had done to upset Taija so much, Siuan went straight in. The common room was almost silent, it seemed everyone had fled. There was only Nynaeve sitting off to one side, looking like she wanted to chew bricks while Aleksi tried to talk to her and young Mat and Elayne sitting at a table with a sniffling Taija.
With an internal sigh she put on her gentlest face and went to join them mentally warming up her knowledge of the Old Tongue. It was clear that Taija was very drunk and very upset, her cheeks were streaked with tears and her look was bleary.
One of the two young idiots seemed to have been supplying her with more wine too she realised when Taija took a distinctly unladylike swig from an open bottle before looking over at her at telling her to sit somewhere else. The nerve!
A gesture summoned Nynaeve and Elayne over to her to join Egwene, leaving Taija just with Mat, who seemed to be talking to her in the Old Tongue. Since when had Mat been able to speak the Old Tongue? Was he not a farmboy? Panic spiked in her, surely he was not one of the them in disguise too. If he was there was nothing she could do not now. Later.
"What is wrong with her? She is beyond drunk," she whispered to them, casting glances over at the table.
Egwene gave her an exasperated look that was certainly unsuitable for a novice speaking to the Amyrlin and whispered. "I told you mother. She thought that her betrothed was dead until today when she seems to have found out that he survived because he became one of the Forsaken."
It just did not seem believable, but at this point she just wanted the woman in bed and to be back in her own. Surely this was a job she could delegate to someone. "Very well, we can overwhelm her and force her to bed until she sobers up."
"We can't…" Egwene started to protest, but Elayne spoke over her.
"Mother…" Elayne sounded more hesitant to challenge her. "We already tried to force her to sober up and Nynaeve ended up shielded and trailing behind her like an ornament for the best part of an hour. Unless you are entirely confident that you can stop that, it might be better not to." Well that explained why Nynaeve was as a red as a sandfish.
She was left watching helplessly as that woman rambled to Mat in the Old Tongue. She hated feeling helpless.
"I… I thought Tel was dead. Like everyone else." She looked like was about to burst into tears again, but managed to continue. "I fought a man… only it was Tel he was alive, and I was so happy, but he had a scar and he ran away and and and I knew… Oh Light I knew… but Mierin told me. S s she told me he was Sammael." Who was Mierin? Was that what she called Lanfear?
"I know, it is terrible," he replied, his face begging them to come and help.
"You're not one of my undergraduates are you? You're very young. If you're an undergraduate I could be in trouble."
"I am not an… undergraduate, do not worry." What in the Light was an undergraduate?
"No, of course not. They're all dead, it's all gone. I blew up the physics faculty." She sniffed, "I'm a soldier now. I don't want to be a soldier," she sobbed into his chest, "I just want to be a physicist and play sports with Tel. Why do I have to do this? Why does the world make me do this?" Her sobbing got louder. "The fucking Shadow ruined everything. Why? For what? And now it's stolen Tel from me!"
Her voice rose to a wail and Mat murmured comfortingly, his accusing eyes staring at them over her shaking shoulder, "there there Taija sedai, it will be alright."
"It's not alright! It'll never be alright! He's betrayed me and everything we stood for. I'm stuck here with no one. No one at all and now this. I wish he'd died and I wish I'd died too. I'm going to kill him and every other one of the Forsaken. Chosen… I'll show them what they've been chosen for. I'm gonna…" Her voice trailed off.
=====
Taija was completely drunk, waaaay beyond anything she'd ever drunk before.
Mat was such a nice boy though. He was the only one that really understood her. Not emotional shit, she had enough of that already, but like litrally understood her speakng a civilised language. She'd have to keep him, at least until she'd murdered Tel and made herslf feel beter.
How could he do that to her?! He was dead and she was alone an now sh was evn mor along. The fucking bastard, she was gnna murder him. Mayb then Murin and San wld leave her alne and she cd go and do thigns. Wnt that be nc gong n ding thngs ys…
========
Taija was emotionally and physically exhausted. At that point she just couldn't deal with things anymore and the fact that she'd drunk far far more than she could handle didn't help. However hard she tried she just couldn't forget. Her thought processes trailed off as she fell asleep on Mat, finally achieving oblivion, unaware of the trail of drool that she left dribbling down his shirt.