Jennie

I close my dad's bedroom door quietly. He hates it when I put him to bed, so I've resorted to sneaking into his room after he's fallen asleep. I've gotten into an entire routine. I'll wait for him to announce that he's going to bed, then I'll shower and change into my jammies, and by the time I'm done, he's usually fast asleep. I just can't go to bed without seeing him asleep peacefully. I worry too much that he's up thinking about his future, or that he might be suffering by himself. So far, he's done great, but I'm worried that he might just be pretending to be strong for me.

I sigh as I walk into the kitchen, wanting a glass of water. I'm absentminded as I reach for a glass and fill it up. I've already been here for three weeks, but I still don't have the results of my blood tests back.

"Interesting choice of pajamas."

I jump at the sound of Lisa's voice and nearly drop my glass. I turn around, my hand pressed to my chest. She's standing by the door, a whisky glass in hand. My eyes roam over her body. It's unfair that she still looks this good. Where does she even find the time to keep in such good shape?

"Lisa," I whisper. I belatedly look down at what I'm wearing and blush fiercely. I'm wearing the t-shirt I found in my closet. The one I stole from her years ago. Lisa walks up to me, and my heart starts to race. Her eyes roam over my body and linger on my bare legs. Her t-shirt is long enough to cover me up to mid-thigh. It's almost like a dress to me, but I really should've worn more than panties underneath.

"Can't sleep?" she asks, and I shake my head. She pauses in front of me and touches the edge of my sleeve, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Where did you even find this?" she whispers, and I look up at her with wide eyes.

I panic. "It's Mino's. I'm wearing it because I miss him," I say, lying to her face. Lisa's expression is steady and she nods. I'm not sure why I expected to find at least a little bit of jealousy or anger. I guess it's because that's what I felt when I saw her with Layla. It was obvious that she's the one that pulled her tie off. She might have said that nothing happened, but she obviously let her touch her. I was burning with jealousy when I walked into her office, yet she stands here in front of me, unaffected, even though I told her I'm wearing Mino's tee.

Lisa takes another step closer, and I take a step back, my hips hitting the kitchen counter. "The man has good taste," she murmurs. "How could he not, when it's you he fell for?"

Lisa raises her hand and gently brushes my hair out of my face. I can't breathe when she's this close to me. I can't get my eyes to behave. I keep catching myself staring at her chest and her abs, and a depraved part of me can't help but wonder if she'll still feel the same under my touch. Will I still be able to make her shiver if I run my fingers over her abs, straying precariously close to where she always wanted me touching her? I bite down on my lip as hard as I can and tear my gaze away. Nothing good will come from wondering about things I can never ever have again.

Lisa raises her glass and hands it to me. I take it from her carefully and take a sip, the liquor burning through my throat. I resist the urge to cough and take another sip. A drink is exactly what I needed.

Lisa looks at me, her eyes heated, and I pray that she won't realize that my body still responds to her proximity the way it always has. I'm hyperaware of her. Lisa has always been in my very veins, even when I don't want her to be. I thought time might have changed things, but it hasn't. The second I laid eyes on her every feeling I thought I buried came rushing back.

"What's Mino's full name?"

I blink, surprised at the question. "It's Minho Michael Song."

"Hmm," Lisa says, the edges of her fingertips brushing over my chest. "Then why is it my initials that are embroidered on this t-shirt?"

I look down with wide eyes. How could I have forgotten about that? It's tiny, but right over my left breast there is indeed a small little monogram, a relic from Helen's embroidery phase. I blink, my cheeks bright red. Thank god it's late at night and the lights are dimmed.

Lisa moves closer to me and I inhale sharply. She's far too close. Just one single step, and her body would be pressed against mine. I should move away, but I'm frozen. It's been years since she and I have been this close, and try as I might, I can't make myself push her away.

"I have newer t-shirts, you know," she whispers. "I'm surprised you haven't sneaked into my bedroom yet. There's so much shit for you to steal. I have a whole collection of hoodies that you can borrow, and so many t-shirts that you'll never run out of pajamas, though I much prefer you without them anyway. But if you must wear them, then I guess I like you best in my tees. But then again, I haven't seen you in one of my dress shirts yet. I can just imagine it… I think I might just like that better."

I'm breathing hard and my eyes fall closed just as she presses a soft kiss to my shoulder. I try my best to harden my heart and step away from her. I can't even bare to look at her. "Please," I whisper. "Don't do this, Lisa. I'm in a relationship. I love Mino. I want to be with him. Don't do this. Let's not go down memory lane."

She looks up at me, anger flashing through her eyes. "You love him?" she whispers, and I nod. Lisa smiles at me, but there isn't a trace of humor in her expression. "Does he make you laugh? Does he know how to make you sigh, how to make you moan, how to make you scream his name? Does he bring out your devious side? Does he make you lower that damn shield you've put up?"

Lisa takes a step away from me and shakes her head. "You don't love him, Jennie. You want to love him, but you don't. He doesn't own you the way I did, and you know it."

Lisa walks away and I stare after her, terrified that she might be right.