Jennie

I'm still distraught by the time we reach the hotel. I know I'm overreacting, and I hate that I can't seem to hide how hurt I am. Why would I even care if Lisa has been with anyone in the time we were apart? It was only natural, and considering her track record in college, it was inevitable. It's not like I've never been with anyone else either… except in my case there's only been one single other person, and it took years before I was even able to think about sleeping with someone else.

I can't help but wonder how long it took her to get over me when things ended. How long did it take before she fell into bed with someone else? How long did it take for her to remove every trace of me?

It hurts to think that there are women that know her body better than I do. That might have learned more about her than I ever have. How many women must she have been with after me? I wonder if she even remembers what we used to be like.

I try my best to shake myself out of my thoughts, but I can't. I can't stop overthinking, I can't stop hurting myself.

I feel a hand drop on my shoulder, and I look up to find Lisa looking at me, concern in her eyes. She's holding up a keycard, and I blink in surprise.

"You okay?" she asks.

"I… yeah, I'm fine," I tell her. I take the card from her and turn to walk away. Maybe a little bit of distance is all I need. Lately being around her has started to confuse me. It's started to make me nostalgic, and I find myself wanting things I can never have again. Things I shouldn't want.

I swipe my key and open the door, only to stop and stare in shock. Lisa walks in behind me, catching the door right before it closes. She looks at me, her expression unreadable.

"What is this?" I ask, my hands gesturing around the suite.

Lisa smiles and glances at her luggage. "We're sharing this," she says. "That's your bedroom," she adds, tipping her head towards one of the doors.

I look at her in disbelief, and Lisa smiles. "Chill, Jennie. We both have our own bedrooms. We'll only be sharing the living areas. Usually, your room would be my secretary's."

My first thought is of Lisa with her secretary, and I can't help but wonder if she slept with her too. I can't seem to snap myself out of this vicious thought cycle. I grit my teeth and walk away, slamming my bedroom door closed behind me.

I sit down on my bed, mad and upset — and annoyed with myself for feeling this way in the first place. It took me years to get over Lisa, yet a mere few weeks of being around her, and I've come undone. I drop my elbows to my knees and bury my hands in my hair. I can't keep doing this. I can't be jealous of women I don't even know. I can't feel this possessive towards a person that isn't mine anymore.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when my phone rings, and I look at it in surprise. My heart starts to race when I realize it's the clinic, and I pick up with shaky hands.

"Jennie?"

I recognize Layla's voice, and I'm instantly filled with bitterness.

"Layla," I murmur.

"I've got the results of your blood tests," she says, and I tense. There's an edge to her tone, and anxiety almost overwhelms me. "You're not a match, Jennie. Your blood types aren't compatible."

I start to tremble, my eyes filling with tears. "What?" I ask, my voice high.

Layla sighs. "I'm sorry," she says.

I stare into space, my heart shattering. I was so certain that I could help Dad. That I could make him better. For weeks I've been hanging onto that little bit of hope, and now it seems all lost. My heart twists painfully, and air seems to evade my lungs. I try to breathe in deeply, but I fail.

"I understand you're in New York with Lisa. I hope this news doesn't ruin your trip. Don't worry, there's still the donor registry, and there are other options still available to you. You could potentially do a paired donation. Come in when you're back, and we'll discuss it."

"I… yes, thank you," I manage to say.

A big fat tear rolls down my cheek, and I inhale shakily, my lungs burning from the lack of air. I feel panic creep up slowly as I end the call, and I pull my knees to my chest as a sob tears through my throat, devastation slamming through me.

What will happen to Dad now? He can't spend the rest of his life on dialysis. I see the way he suffers, the way he hides how he feels. He's a shell of the man he used to be, and it's only been a few months. I don't want him going through this for months.

I inhale and end up gasping for air, my heart breaking. Strong arms wrap around me, and I look up at Lisa. She lifts me onto her lap and wraps her arms around me.

"What happened, baby? You're worrying me. What's going on?" she asks, her voice trembling.

I clutch her shirt and then throw my arms around her neck, holding onto her tightly.

"I… I'm not… I'm not a match," I say, sobs interrupting my sentence. I rest my cheek on Lisa's shoulder, finding solace in her arms.

Lisa buries her hand in my hair and holds me tighter. "Minx," she whispers. "I'm so sorry."

She sounds anguished, as hurt as I'm feeling, and I cry even harder. Lisa pats my back, her touch soothing.

"What am I going to do?" I ask, my voice breaking. "I can't save him."

My entire body is shaking, and I can't seem to stop my tears. It's like all the fears I had have suddenly come true. It's like I was in denial, and all of a sudden, I'm thrown into reality. My dad has a terminal illness, and I can't save him.

"We'll save him, Minx. One way or another. I promise you. I'll get him a black-market organ if I need to. I won't let him die. I won't let him suffer. I swear, Jennie, so don't cry, okay? Don't cry, baby. These things take time, but we'll find a donor for him, one way or another."

She holds me tightly, and I nod, my nose brushing against her neck. I want to believe her, but what if she's wrong? What if we can't save him?