46 - Helpline

It's a nice starry evening when we land back in London. I step out of the Tardis with Martha and Mickey to hug them, when I spot an Ood in the distance, behind them. Ood Sigma. He doesn't activate his telepathic sphere to speak, he doesn't move, he's just looking at the Tardis from afar. Martha and Mickey turn around, the Tardis phone starts ringing, the Ood is gone.

"Doctor?".

"Sarah Jane? The Doctor is unavailable at the moment. It's Zoe".

"Oh! Zoe" - she's clearly disappointed. "Something happened. Can you come to Bannerman Road? We need your help".

She sounds worried.

I park the Tardis in her front yard. When I open the doors I'm greeted by a bunch of young teens. While they storm inside, I recognize Luke, Sarah Jane's son.

"Hey gang, this is not a playground-" I start to scold them, but in fact they all stopped dead in their tracks before even reaching the console. "So, first time", I tell Sarah Jane as I show her inside after them.

"It's always quite a sight, even when you were used to it", she smiles. I can feel she's really moved by stepping back inside again.

I let the kids in the library, to play with the pattern paint gun and other tricks (I must remember to clean all up before the Doctor sees this mess) while Sarah Jane explains that the sport centre director in her neighbourhood has been possessed by a Remoraxian. Their species want to colonize Earth by flooding it. Starting from a youth swimming pool. "This has happened before. The Doctor built a de-remorator then. It should still be around, that man never throws away anything".

—

After the kids have found said de-remorator, (successfully reorganizing the Tardis archive in the meantime), and the poor Colin has been depossessed, Sarah Jane walks me back to the Tardis.

"I just remembered- I've got something that might interest you". She says, rummaging through her bag. "You know I haven't been in touch with the Doctor for a while, but still, I'm used to keep track of big alien events. And I've been an investigative journalist for a long time". She hands me a folder. I glance at what's inside, puzzled.

"Thank you. You're right, this might be an interesting piece of information".

Finally, I walk back to the Tardis console and reach for the phone to try Jack again, but the Torchwood number sounds disconnected. And the phone rings again.

"Hello, you've reached the Tardis. The Doctor is temporarily unavailable. If it's an emergency, hold for Zoe", I recite, a little annoyed, then press a button on the console to play some midi music.

"Miss Zoe? It sounds like you're imitating a telephonic switchboard operator", a cheerful northern accent says.

"Jenny?". I'm surprised. I only met Jenny and Madame Vastra once, with the older Doctor, with Clara. This was a long time ago, and a long time from now. Why did she call us now?

"Tell her to come, quick", I hear Madame Vastra instruct in the background.

I miss him.

—-

I try Jack again. Still disconnected. And, the phone rings again. "Er, this is Jenny. Have I reached the Doctor?".

"Jenny - still Zoe. The Doctor is still not available. What's wrong now? Your voice sounds different".

"Hello, Zoe, nice to meet you. Are you a friend of the Doctor? And what do you mean my voice is different, how?". She's right. Not a different voice, just a different Jenny.

"Nevermind. Jenny. How can I help you?".

—-

Next, a young single mum whose little son is sick with something that the local hospitals refuse to treat. Turns out he's been playing in the fields with some radioactive leftover junk from the explosion of an alien ship.

Then I get a call from the captain of a submarine who lost power and can't get to the surface, and can I get in touch with the port authority?

Again, I try Jack, failing, but I don't have any time to get concerned about it because the phone rings again, and it's a sorority girl from Berkeley who thinks all her friends are turning into vampires.

Then it's a Peruvian guide who found a map to the underworld.

How do these people have our number? When did the Tardis become the X-Files helpline?

I finally give up and tell the Tardis to track the Doctor, and I open the doors to find myself in a small space station overlooking a nebula. He's standing with a young girl, that turns around and looks at me.

"Zoe! Welcome!", he says, when he spots me. "This is Flora. You're just in time for the ceremony".

"What ceremony?".

"We're naming a newborn galaxy. Isn't it wonderful? The universe, and all his blobs, and bubbles and balls of fire, coming together to create something new, that wasn't there before. Calls for a celebration, always"

Wow, I missed him. "How on Earth did you get here?", I wonder.

"How off Earth, you mean. Got a lift with a lovely couple of blowfishes. What a ride!", he says, all happy. "What are you doing here?".

What am I doing here, actually? Was I just bothered by the fact I'm having to deal with any emergency from planet Earth while he's… backpacking through the universe? And he seems just fine without me. No means of travel, and he's off to another galaxy. Actually, maybe I should be annoyed that he sort of went on holiday while I'm stuck with solving problems on Earth.

"Well I'm returning the Tardis. Do you have a filter that makes it so the phone only works when you're not on board? It hasn't stopped ringing since you left. First friends, then just random strangers calling with emergencies".

He tilts his head sideways. "Why didn't you disconnect it?".

"Is that what you do?", I ask him, surprised. "But all the calls, they actually need help. Am I just going to ignore them?".

He frowns, and places his hand on my shoulder. "First of all, you can't set out to help everyone. Because it's a big universe, and all the time, everywhere, somebody needs help. And you're not a god. You're just a traveler, right, a time traveler, but, still, you can only be in one place at once", he shrugs. "Do what you can, but if you think you can help, save, rescue everyone, always, you'll go crazy in a week. Besides, it's Earth. And I've put a lot of work in that planet, and left very good and valuable people there, during centuries. Why isn't Torchwood, or UNIT, dealing with this th-, oooh, I know what's happening", he says suddenly, slamming his hand on his forehead.

He sighs. We run inside the Tardis, and I swear the console lights are shining brighter and everything is cleaner than how I just left it two minutes ago. It's like a puppy wiggling its tail, this ship. The Doctor's eyes are beaming in return. "Oh, hello, beautiful!".

He steps slowly to the console. "Aww, you beauty. You driving Zoe mad?" Then he turns to me. "Zoe, really, how can you deliberately decide to lea- oh, right. Anyway". I smile and walk beside him. "What's this?".

He points to the folder I've left on the captain chair.

"Sarah Jane gave it to me. Apparently the director of Broadfell prison was in an accident. I have a bad feeling it was… not an accident".

"Did you go meet the new director?".

"Not yet. I've been meaning to visit Chloe for a while". Yes, and then I got sidetracked. "But then, stuff happened, and then you left, and then the phone wouldn't stop ringing with people that needed urgent help".

"Right. The phone thing. When me and… when Earth was moved to the Medusa Cascade, we brought it back using the Cardiff rift as a tow rope. But how was that connected to the Tardis?".

Oh, yes. Yes! "Damn. Right. Every phone on Earth calling the Tardis. The subwave network. And that's still active?".

"The Tardis probably kept it as an under running protocol. Easy to fix…", he types fast. "Aaaand, linking with the UNIT database, and, oh, that's weird". I see he's trying to reroute the emergency calls, and apparently… we can't connect to Torchwood three.

"Zoe, have you heard from Jack since…". It's heartbreaking that he still feels the need to avoid words. When me and Donna. Have you heard from Jack since we locked ourselves into a room for weeks. I thought we were in a safe place, me and him.

"I've been trying to contact him with no success". The Doctor turns, and glares at me. "So do you mind giving me a ride to Cardiff?".

He looks at me.

"Again, I'm leaving the Tardis with you", I repeat. "Just a ride, really. Then I'll be on my own, and you can go back to… Flora, and naming galaxies or whatever".

I am aware that this contradicts the fact that I got bored really quickly of being on my own. And that I'd rather stay with him. But he looks so cold and far away, and again - it doesn't feel like he really missed me while he was gone.

"As you wish", he says, flatly. "21:00 to Cardiff, all aboard", he sighs, faking a smile.

As I make my way to the doors, I feel a faint warmth through the psychic link. "Zoe?".

"Doctor?".

"You sure you're going to be okay?".

"Have you changed your mind?". I turn to face him. "Did you miss me?".

"I'm sorry that you got stuck with a… helpline while I was gone. But it seems to me that you've got a lot on your mind. Jack, and Chloe, and…". He doesn't name him, but what is he saying again? Is he jealous or not? Does he want me to stay, or not?

Last chance. "I promised, Doctor".

When did we get to this point? It feels just minutes ago that he was afraid of getting too close, and now it seems like hecan barely stand my presence. We danced with the Beatles. What changed again? I just wish he was honest. If he told me…

He walks closer, I suddenly feel his height towering over me. "I'm here. If you need me, I'll come back for you". I know what he means: he wanted distance, and I called him right away.

I can barely speak. "Don't… don't stay alone, Doctor. If you need me, I'll come running".

Something glints in his eyes, and he quickly looks away. Despite what we just said, I feel once again that I won't resist kissing him if I stay any longer. I turn his face back towards mine, look straight into his eyes. "Right?".

"Right", he smiles faintly.

I take a deep breath, and I leave.