48 - the Time Lord Victorious

It's evening when I get to Broadfell prison. If these cult of Saxon people infiltrated the prison, I thought it best to disguise my appearance before my visit. And I admit it would have been better if I had this idea while the Tardis and her amazing wardrobe were still at hand. Somehow, I still had money in my pockets and I managed to buy some scissors and cut my hair very short and dye them platinum blonde. The piercings are gone once again.

I'm still wearing my skinny black jeans and boots, and I found a light, white, long sleeved turtleneck and a cropped checkered dark green shirt, to wear under the red Beatles coat, in a lovely charity shop where I also got a small crossbody bag and a big, heavy book for 1£.

Overall, I do look like I just stepped out of a Clash concert, which is not the most 2010 outfit, but still. Pretty sure I don't look like Chloe.

Still, I don't think it's clever to just ring the bell and ask to visit her- I know it sounds ridiculous, but I am effectively trying to break into a prison.

And it takes me a while, I mean security walls and gates work both ways. And, when I get to Chloe's cell, what does she do?

"Guards!", she calls.

Seriously?

No, no, hang on. This is not how it went.

I walked the corridor to her cell and she's sitting quietly on her cot.

"Hello, Chloe", I say.

She turns to me, her eyes are sad and lost. "Zoe? What are you doing here?".

What I should make clear is, I haven't decided yet. "Just checking in", I tell her.

"Liar", she smiles.

I smile back. "I have something for you", I say, taking the book out of my bag. I pass it to her through the bars. "Here".

"Infinite Jest? I've read this many time-", she starts, but then opens it and realizes the pages are cutout to hold the vial. "Oh, no", she says, panting. "You found the books? You actually made the potions of life? Are you out of your mind?".

"No!", I stop her, waving my hands to calm her down. "Quite the opposite".

"Guards!", she calls. Yes, this is how it went.

Anyway, seriously?

"Really? I'm telling you, it's not the potions of life. It's the antidote".

"Well you can't give it to me", she says as a woman in uniform approaches. "Give it to her", she instructs me, giving me the book back.

Now, it's one thing to handle the responsibility of the Master's life or death to Chloe - I've been thinking about it all afternoon, while waiting for my hair to patiently, slowly, lose their color: it should be her decision. I got away with all that happened free, I'm having adventures, she's stuck here because of what she's been through, and it all started with a paradox- with me. She's the one who should have that power. But the guard? Nah, I don't think so.

"Can I take a look?", the guard says. "You show me yours, I'll show you mine", she continues, extracting a smaller vial from her pocket. The liquid inside looks just like the one inside mine. But can I trust her?

"Wait, wait. How can I be sure you're not one of those fanatics?".

"Your sister trusts me. You don't have much choice".

"Sister?", I repeat, tilting my head towards Chloe. She flashes me a forced smile.

"I was aware of the books of Saxon. I won't let him come back. So we made our own anti-potion".

"You're Torchwood one?", I ask the guard.

"I was. Nowadays I'm just a freelance". Ugh.

"So. If I give the vial to Chloe she'll just hand it to you. And you already have one. But, I don't trust you".

"Then keep it", Chloe chirps in.

I roll my eyes. Actually, should I trust her? She's known what the Master was up to, and what he was like, since the very beginning. What makes me think that she's actually changed her mind, and that her true intention is not allowing him to come back?.

I change the subject. "The books. I understand the potions alone are not enough to resuscitate him, correct?", I look at the guard, she nods. I tear a page from the book and scribble the Tardis phone number on it. "If anything happens, if any of those crazy disciples come and take… her DNA, her fingerprints, whatever, you give this number a call, okay?".

She nods, looks into my eyes and pockets the paper, then leaves.

"What are you going to do now?", Chloe asks.

"Who's that?" Another guard screams from the end of the corridor.

"Run, I guess", I reply to Chloe.

"Hey!" The guard screams after me. I wave at my sister and flee.

I memorized the way in, but I don't want to let the guard follow me. So I take a longer way, and I'm taller and somehow younger, and when I finally jump out of the building, I don't think she's following me anymore.

I start walking towards the bus stop, and I'm tired out of breath. And it doesn't seem like air is coming back to my lungs anytime soon. Was it the run? Is it the lack of sleep? Is it the fact I don't really know where to go? Something heavy is burdening me, I feel like my head is exploding. What is it? I pant, confused, my legs give in and I fall on my knees.

"Wha-", I whisper, still out of breath.

I look up, and an Ood is standing across the street. Once again, just looking at me, not speaking, just a presence. And then, a wave into the psychic link shocks me and I land face on the ground. What the hell is going on?

Zoe. The Doctor's voice, broken and shaky, reaches me at the back of my mind, first faint, then loud, almost ominous. Zoe, where are you? I was wrong. I need you.

I gasp, surprised, trying to stand myself up, but I'm shaking too much, I feel almost paralyzed. The time ring is almost burning. Then, the autumn leaves on the sidewalk around me start twirling in a sudden breeze, and my hands start glowing. Again, my head feels like it's tearing apart from inside, from the intolerable pain the Doctor's sharing with me. I growl, trying to stand up, and I feel myself vanish into the golden light.

I slam sometime into the future, my hands and knees in the snow. When I look up, I'm still staring at the Ood, but he's not… looking at me? I follow his gaze and the Doctor is standing beside the Tardis, looking at the Ood. He sees me, and I see him gulping.

"Zoe", he cries. "I've gone too far".

I run to him as I see him trembling. "Is this it? My death?", he screams at the Ood.

I'm there to catch him when his knees fall to the ground, and he's still screaming. "Is it time?".

"Doctor", I help him up. "Doctor, I'm here. Shh, it's okay".

The Ood is gone. The Doctor is still shaking as I help him inside the Tardis. This time the ship buzzes and shines for my return, which must mean something about the darkness that's still in my head from wherever the Doctor just went with his mind.

"What happened?", I ask him, as he steps slowly towards the console, looking away.

He takes a couple of deep breaths, looking around, as if recognizing the place, then he turns to me. His eyes are wet. "Oh, Zoe", he groans again, running his hands down his face.

I slowly walk closer to him.

"I've… I was wrong. I shouldn't be alone, you were right", he sighs, heavily.

"Tell me what happened, Doctor".

He finally looks into my eyes. "I changed a fixed point", he admits.

I'm so shocked that I can't hold my words. "You what?".

"I tried to change history. So arrogant. And proud. The Time Lord Victorious". He looks away again, still shaking.

I stay silent, because I am completely out of words.

He opens his mouth to speak again, shaking his head, pondering what he says. "I've been alone too long. Made me think I was more than a survivor. Thought I was… the winner".

The winner… of the Time War? I shiver. He notices it.

"Nobody should have this power", he whispers, as if to convince himself, then he turns his eyes to me again. "The Ood…".

"Doctor", I cut him, closing the distance between us. I cup his face in my hands. "You stopped. You called me. I'm here, you're not alone. Forget the Ood". This is not when I'm telling him that I've seen that Ood too, that he was probably trying to warn me.

He looks at me, still terrified. I hug him, and pull him so close that I can feel his bones between my arms. He finally sighs, relieved.

"He made you promise…", he says, clearing his voice.

"And I left".

"No". He blinks vividly, guilt all over his face. "I pushed you away".

"But you brought me back", I try to smile, but I am guilty too. I shouldn't have left.

"The Ood, his prophecies came true. My time is running out".

"Doctor".

"But it is. I-".

"Doctor", I insist. "No".

I am suddenly aware that he might be right, that the Ood stalking us lately might mean he will regenerate soon and I'll never see him again. Never. Not with this face, this deep, heavy eyes, this burning skin, this frame so thin and yet so strong. And I know- he will still be the Doctor, but him, oh, how I will miss him.

I hug him again, even tighter this time. "No". I repeat. Because it's unfair - the Doctor regenerated during the Dalek invasion, which wasn't a long time ago. But he cheated himself back in the same body and mind, and the universe is not letting him. He pretends everything is okay, but he's running on stolen time, and he knows.

He pulls back, softly, looking into my eyes. He gulps. "Okay", he nods, thoughtful.

I keep looking at him, afraid that he'll fall back into the darkness if I look away.

He straightens himself, steps back to the console and leans onto it. Then he looks at me, suddenly, with a smile. "No", he agrees finally, and pushes the lever.