Chapter 53! I honestly surprised that people are still reading this mess of a story, but I'm glad that you seem to be enjoying it. And an extra big thank you to those of you who leave reviews; reading them makes me very happy (:

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Now that he'd told me things weren't okay, he was having problems holding it together. Our work buildings were close enough together that we could spend our lunch breaks together most days, so he wouldn't be caught alone with that awful man. I got the feeling that his boss was trying to keep Carlisle isolated during the day; he continuously changed the times of his breaks so that they didn't line up with mine, or denied him them completely.

Those days were the worst. When he would come to me shaking and upset but refuse to tell me what had happened. Today was one of those days.

Sitting in the lunchroom of my office, Carlisle was so withdrawn he hadn't said a word since he'd come in. My co-workers were used to him being with us now, and weren't at all surprised by his presence. I kept my arm around him, slowly rubbing his side as he leaned his head against my shoulder. Neither of us were eating, and I was barely aware that anyone else was in the room.

"You alright today, Carlisle? You're awfully quiet," Riley, the guy who worked at the desk across from mine, asked. Usually, my boyfriend managed to keep up a polite conversation with them, and having him here all the time was actually helping me make friends with them after all these months. His eyes flicked up to mine when he didn't get a response. "Are you guys all good? He looks like he needs to lie down."

I sighed, and squeezed him a little tighter. "He's having a rough day at work…" Glancing down at him, he was quite a bit paler than normal, and definitely unfocused. "Carlisle," I murmured, wanting some kind of reaction.

Responding to his name and the sound of my voice, he glanced up to look at me. He really didn't look well.

Cursing under my breath, I tried to figure out the logistics of taking him home. I was not going to be able to get the time off, but I couldn't just send him back to work either. "Are you okay?" I forced a smile, hoping to get an answer this time.

"...yeah…" he mumbled, trying to squeeze my hand but not having the strength to.

I ran my thumb over the back of his fingers, and shot Riley an apologetic smile which he returned.

"You two should come out for a drink tonight, if you're feeling up to it; it's nothing major, just a few people from around the office...it might cheer you up a bit?" he suggested hopefully, getting up to head for the door.

I got a rush of warmth from his genuine concern; I'd never had much luck making friends, and it would be nice having someone that didn't just like me by default because I was dating Carlisle. "Thanks, Riley." I sighed as he left the room, realising that Carlisle wouldn't want to go. Giving up, I hugged him tightly, kissing his neck. "I have just enough time to drive you home, if we leave now, but I can't stay with you," I told him. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel pushed away, but I didn't have another choice.

"It's okay, my boss won't let me anyway." His cheeks heated slightly, and he buried his face in my shoulder, not wanting to acknowledge it. Looking down at his phone for the time, he sighed quietly, his shoulders slumping. "I have to go…"

"I'll walk you, Carlisle, come." I held onto him as I stood up, pulling him up with me. He stumbled in my arms, and I kept him against me as we made our way out.

"You need to go out with them tonight," he murmured as we reached the street.

I frowned, wanting to but hating myself for it. "But are you going to come with me?"

"...I can't, Gar, but you can still have fun; you don't have to stay home all the time just because I'm useless…" He tried to smile, but was feeling too shitty to manage it.

"Carlisle," I groaned, torn.

"Just go, Garrett. I'll be fine, and you need to see other people that aren't just me, anyway...This can't consume you as well.''

Stopping outside of his office building, I leaned down to kiss him; he already looked like he wanted to cry, and it was breaking my heart. "Are you sure?" I still wasn't convinced.

"Yes; I'll see you when you get home. Go and have fun tonight."

I hugged him quickly. "I love you. Call me if you need me, and I'll come home instead-"

"Stop it, I love you too. What's the worst that can happen?"

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"Garrett! You came!" Already tipsy, my co-worker threw his arms around my shoulders. Thankfully, the bar wasn't too crowded, so I wasn't overwhelmed the minute I stepped in the door. A few other people I worked with were there, and I smiled awkwardly in greeting. I didn't know them all that well, and I didn't think we'd ever had an actual conversation.

"Yeah, I guess so," I mumbled, not exactly sure what I was doing there in the first place. Something made me desperately want to fit in, like highschool all over again.

"No Carlisle though?" he frowned.

"He's, uh, tired...it's been a rough day…" Rather, his boss was abusing him and I'd abandoned him to hang out with people who probably didn't even like me that much. Trying to stop that train of thought before it go too far, I shoved my hands into my pockets, fidgeting. It was taking all of my self control not to run out again and go back to him; he would be finishing work soon, and I didn't like the thought of him of him by himself.

"He's kind of...odd, anyway. I guess it's true; the cute ones always are crazy," one of the woman murmured.

I bristled, only just holding my tongue before I snapped at her and ruined my chance of friendship. "He's not crazy, he's just going through a lot," I told them instead.

"Why are you with him, anyway? He seems so clingy; it's weird. You should be with someone who gives you as much as you give them."

There was no point in trying to explain anything to her. "Because we love each other, and he's good for me." Quickly becoming annoyed, I focused my attention on Riley. He seemed to notice my discomfort, ushering me to sit down with them before I bolted.

"Leave it alone, Leah," he murmured. "He's only shy."

"And he's so bloody thin; it's uncomfortable to look at," she huffed.

She'd reached the end of my already short temper. "Shut up about him; he's fine."

Riley put his hand against the small of my back. "What'd you lot want to drink? The first round is on me, in celebration of Friday."

As everyone called out their orders, I followed him up to the bar, not wanting to be left alone with them. "Thanks for inviting me…" I told him awkwardly as we waited to be served. I didn't quite have the courage to look at him yet.

"I'm glad you came. We're here almost every Friday, if we don't scare you off. You can bring Carlisle too, if he's up to it; the more the merrier, right?" He smiled, nudging me.

I just nodded, not ready to commit yet. In his current condition, there was no way that Carlisle was ever going to come with me, but I knew he would encourage me to return. Mulling it over, I picked up the glasses that Riley couldn't carry, returning to the group and struggling to put them down without spilling them everywhere. It had everyone giggling, and I couldn't help myself either, starting to laugh as well.

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By the time I left the bar, I was far tipsier than I needed to be. Drinking on an empty stomach hadn't served me well, and I decided that walking home was a much safer option than driving; I could just come and get my car in the morning. It was raining a little, but the weather had warmed to a point where it wasn't unpleasant, and I didn't mind being slightly damp.

My attempt to be quiet as I opened the front door failed miserably; I tripped over myself as I unlocked, and practically fell into our kitchen, giggling to myself. "You okay, Carlisle?" I asked, steadying myself on the bench and glancing over at him.

He looked slightly alarmed, and I couldn't tell whether something had happened, or if my grand entrance had given him a fright. "Please tell me you did not just drive home?" he asked, ignoring my question.

I shook my head, obedient. "No, I have to go get my car tomorrow." Finding my footing again, I wobbled over to him, relieved to see him and wanting to have my arms around him.

Laughing a little, he dodged me. "No way; you're soaking wet, and I've already showered."

"That's rude," I teased, unable to stop myself laughing as well. "I just want a hug."

"Go and change your clothes, then." He was only half teasing me now. When I didn't make a move, he grabbed my hand, pulling me down the hallway. "Come and get changed before you get sick; you'll already be hungover tomorrow morning, and you don't need to feel even more crappy."

He was right, of course, but I wasn't listening. "You're not going to make me shower, are you?"

"Not if you don't want to, just get dry." Stopping halfway to our room to grab a towel from the bathroom, he threw it at me.

I couldn't catch, fumbling to grab hold of it before it hit the ground. Upon his instructions, I stripped when he told me to, attempting to dry myself enough so that he would let me sit on the bed.

Handing me a change of clothes and pulling the wet ones away from me, he waited for me to take them, putting them beside me when I didn't. "Get dressed, Garrett."

"You just told me to get undressed," I reminded him, starting to laugh again. Slipping my arms around his waist, I pulled him toward me. "Why am I the only one without clothes on? That's not fair."

Smiling at my whining, he just rolled his eyes. "Because you're the only one who walked home in the rain and didn't catch a taxi," he teased, brushing his fingers through my hair. "Come on, Gar, you'll get cold; put your clothes on."

It was far too warm to catch a cold, and that wasn't any incentive to me. When I ignored his requested, he started the process for me, pulling a shirt over my head and forcing me to put my arms through the sleeves.

"What'd you drink?" he was laughing to himself, presumably at me now.

Wanting to prove that I was still an adult, I got my pants on by myself. "I don't know; whatever the others did. But they had lunch, so that's not fair," I pointed out, defending myself.

"Did you manage to eat at all while you were out…?" That question was gentle, and he leaned down to kiss me, his hand resting against my neck and my cheek.

"Do we have to talk about this?" I grumbled. The intimacy was nice, but a conversation about my failures wasn't something I fancied right then.

"Yes; have you had anything since breakfast?" Sitting next to me on the bed, he slipped his arms around me. It helped to dull the sting of the question, but I still wasn't happy about it. Taking my silence as an answer, he stood again, locking his fingers with mine. "Come, I'll make you dinner."

"You're going to eat too, right?" I wasn't letting that go, if he was going to call me out on not eating.

"Please just sit at the table." Pulling out a chair for me, he wasn't joking quite so much anymore.

"Not unless you will too," I argued.

"Fine, I'll try," he agreed eventually.

"Am I annoying?" I asked bluntly, seeing that he didn't look very happy about the whole thing.

That made him smile again. "Currently, or in general?"

I threw the tea-towel at him, chuckling. "Are you going to be mad at me in the morning?"

"No, of course not," he laughed.

"But I am annoying?"

Setting a plate of food in front of me, he leaned down to kiss my cheek. "You put up with my shit all day, every day; you're allowed to go out and have fun and come home and be a pain in the ass every once in a while." He was joking, mostly, but I knew he meant what he said.

I supervised as he sat in front of me, tracing each tiny forkful that he lifted to his mouth. It didn't escape my notice that he was picking around the meat, only eating the vegetable portion of the meal.

Eventually, he caught me watching him, rolling his eyes. "What? I'm eating it." Now he was really unimpressed with me, setting his fork on his plate to run his hand through his hair.

Even drunk, I was well aware of what he was doing. "What else have you eaten today?"

"You haven't even touched your meal; worry about that first," he grumbled at me.

"Have you had anything?" I took a mouthful to shut him up, chewing it slowly.

"You didn't eat lunch either," he pointed out, annoyed.

"No, but I had breakfast. And I finished dinner last night." I didn't want to be patronising, but it was going to end up that way.

"I'm eating now…" Losing confidence, he ducked his head so he didn't have to look at me.

"Only vegetables, though. What's that worth, maybe 150 calories, most? And that's the only thing you've had, besides a coffee at lunch?" I guessed, taking another bite.

Silent, he didn't say anything, wringing his hands in his lap. "...I don't like it…"

"You cooked it, though. What do you want to eat, then? You must be hungry?" It didn't make sense to me, even more so while I had too much alcohol in my system.

"...I feel sick, Garrett, I can't…" he mumbled.

I sighed through my teeth. "I'm too drunk to talk about this now," I admitted, not trusting myself not to say anything that would make things worse. The tension melted from his shoulders at my words, and he managed a shaky smile.

We ended up going to bed straight after dinner, because I was drunk and Carlisle was tired. He fussed around in the kitchen before coming to the bedroom, no doubt doing dishes and tidying up.

It took a little while for him to come back to me, and I knew that he was unsettled by our conversation. Still, he kissed me once he came back in. "Drink this and swallow these." He pressed a couple of pills into my palm, and handed me a glass of water.

"Why?" I grumbled, doing what he told me anyway. I was beyond making decisions for myself by that point.

"Because you're going to feel awful tomorrow morning, and you won't feel quite so shit if you're not dehydrated and in pain." Climbing into bed, he waited until I lay down as well before curling up against me. Having my arms around him seemed to help him calm down again, and we were quiet for a while.

"You're a good boyfriend," I accused suddenly as the thought popped into my head, squeezing him a little tighter.

"I'm glad you think so; so are you. Now shut up and go to sleep." He kissed my neck, leaning his cheek against my chest.

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The next morning, he made me breakfast while I nursed a hangover. Despite putting egg on the toast, as he had done for me, he only separated the bread, nibbling that and pulling apart his salad. Again, he was immediately uncomfortable upon realising that he was being watched, his face flushing as he looked down. He got up and made us both coffee as a distraction, and I knew he was avoiding the subject.

"How was your boss yesterday, after you went back to work?" I let him hand me the mug, but now that I was sober I was hyper aware that it should be me looking after him, not the other way round.

He immediately became guarded, his shoulders stiffening. "No worse than usual."

Holding his wrist once he was close enough to me, I didn't let him pull away. "He hasn't hurt you?" I asked carefully, trying to be gentle.

"N-no, he never hurts me…"

There was no way I believed him, not for a second. Sliding my hand up his arm, I locked my free arm around his waist, pulling him into me lap. "Please don't lie to me, Carlisle."

"I'm not- he's not violent with me, he just...you've seen what he does. It's not more than that…" About to cry, he leaned his head against my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my neck.

"Then why don't you eat? Because of what he said to you?"

"...and I don't feel well...I'll throw up…" he mumbled anxiously.

"Should I be taking you to a doctor?" I frowned, running my fingers through his hair. "Is this something more than just stress?"

"I don't know, Gar, I don't want to think about it…"

"We're going to have to talk about this sooner or later," I reminded him. "I know you don't want to, but we're going to have to face this; it can't keep happening."

"But I don't know what to do...I'm scared…"

Sighing, I just squeezed him. It worried me a but that he wasn't holding me very tightly; I suspected that he was trying to, but didn't have the strength. "Are you getting dizzy again?" I asked carefully, rubbing his back.

He nodded miserably. "...get really light-headed...feels like I'm going to faint and I don't know why…"

"Not eating, for a start," I pointed out, suddenly skeptical of his stability. "And you're hyperventilating. Do you need to lie down again?"

"Y-yeah, maybe…" His words were starting to slur together a little, and he pulled back to get to his feet.

Against my better judgement, I let him stand up. Instantly, I knew it was a bad idea; the colour drained from his face immediately, and he sort of stumbled to lean against the bench. "Sit down," I told him quickly, jumping up to stop him falling.

He had enough sense to lean against the cupboards as he started to lose consciousness, and I managed to stop him hitting the ground too hard.

Panicking, I suddenly wanted to cry, carefully helping him lie down so he couldn't hurt himself. I didn't know if I was supposed to call an ambulance or just let him wake up on his own, but he was so, so pale, and wasn't warm when I touched him. "Carlisle, wake up," I pleaded, shaking his shoulder. "Please…"

It was the longest minute of my life, but he managed to come around again fairly quickly. He was stunned, confused as he tried to sit up and I pushed him back down.

"You passed out," I explained, trying to make sense of what was happening. "Stay there a little while." Kneeling, I forced myself to breathe, not wanting to let on that I was freaking out. "Do you want a doctor- I can take you to the hospital?"

"...n-no…" he mumbled, shaking his head and rubbing his hands over his face. "...no hospitals…"

"What do I do- I don't know what to do, Carlisle," I argued frantically, still holding him.

His attempt to squeeze my hand was weak, and he was struggling to remain coherent. "...tired…"

"I know, I think we'd better spend the day in bed today, if you won't let me take you to get help."

"...okay…" He sat up once I let him, leaning forward to brace himself against his knees. The colour wouldn't return to his complexion, and he was shaky after the effort to get upright, leaning into me as I hugged him.

"Are you going to be able to stand up?" Rubbing his back, I leaned my chin against his shoulder. There was no way I wanted him on his feet if he was only going to come back down again, and I squeezed him tightly, desperate to protect him.

"...soon…" He wrapped his arms around my neck, needing the comfort.

It was another twenty minutes before I trusted him enough to stand, and I kept my hands on him until he was lying down again. "Are you okay?" I asked anxiously, needing to hug him but too scared to hurt him if he was in pain after falling.

Nodding, he rubbed my hand, folding one arm back over his face as he forced deep breaths. "Are you?" he tried to tease.

I linked my fingers through his. "Yes, but you scared the shit out of me." Forcing myself to calm down, I lay beside him, wrapping myself around him. "We can't keep doing this; you need to get help."

"...not today, though…"

I groaned in disapproval. "But soon though."