The bruising wasn't healing. Although I thought that I had protected him when he fell, he was black and blue wherever he'd hit the cupboards or the ground. What stung most was the marks from where I'd grabbed him. He moved like it hurt, wincing whenever he knocked into things, but unsteady and off-balance and unable to help it. More than once that weekend, I had been worried that he was going to faint again, but he managed to sit down before he fell. We were both nervous to go back to work on Monday, but there was no avoiding it. I continued worrying, Carlisle continued not eating, and his boss continued making both of our lives hell.

Coming home to find that Carlisle had beaten me in the door was not a welcome surprise anymore. "What happened?" I asked, immediately a little panicked and hurrying to put my stuff down.

"I'm okay, Garrett, I just...I was dizzy, so my boss sent me home...I guess having him 'like' me has it's perks…?" His own joke made him uncomfortable, and I wondered what favour he'd had to trade in to be able to come back.

Forcing myself to calm down and take a few deep breaths, I sat next to him on the couch, trapping his hands in mine. It only seemed to increase his anxiety, and I wasn't convinced that I wanted to hear whatever he was building up to tell me. "I guess so," I agreed, trying to smile.

He looked down, biting his lip as he thought about it. "...He's got a wife and kids at home, Gar. I don't understand how he can do what he does and then go home to them like he hasn't just made some guy…" Pulling his knees up, he hugged his legs, resting his chin on them.

"It's not your job to worry about his family." I shuffled over to wrap my arms around him.

"It's not my job to suck his dick, either, but I still have to do that." His bluntness shocked me into silence for a few seconds, but he sounded bitter about it rather than upset.

"Carlisle…"

"He's such a bad person...how can he be allowed to have children? What if he's like my father to them…?"

I swallowed thickly, tightening my fingers around his shirt. "Your dad didn't ever...did he…?" Hoping that he would understand without me having to outright asking him, I carefully watched his face in hope of gauging his anxiety.

Thankfully, he shook his head without flinching, and I took his answer for truth. "No, he was very religious; he'd never commit a sin like that." He couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice. "Though, he was dumb enough to think that beating his child was a way of making them pay for their sins."

"Are you okay?" I asked again. Although I appreciated him talking to me, he was scaring me a little bit; his mood was far darker than I'd anticipated, but he still wasn't upset. He was just...numb…
"You didn't fall or anything today, right?" I clarified.

"No...I'm okay now I'm sitting down."

"...You aren't, Carlisle, you really aren't yourself…"

"You said that we had to acknowledge it eventually, so I am. I'm essentially cheating on you with my boss to keep my job, and I'm pretty sure the whole office knows about it, and he reminds me of my father and I hate him and he offered me a pay rise this morning but I'm pretty sure that if I take it, I'll be letting him fuck me instead of jerking him off." That was it for him maintaining composure; he fell apart, burying his face in my shoulder.

"God, you need a break," I sighed, pulling him into my lap to hug him properly. It was slightly uncomfortable now; he was worryingly light, and I was scared of hurting him. "You have to get out of there."

.

.

Saturday rolled around, and the weather was so nice there was no way we could stay inside. I'd woken up before Carlisle, and after another half an hour rolled passed, I went to wake him up, not wanting it to be too late in the day when we left. A little too excited to be gentle, I ripped open the curtains, letting the sunlight stream in onto the blankets. The bed jolted with my weight as I fell onto it, and I gently shook Carlisle awake. How he'd managed to sleep through my grand entrance into the bedroom, I had no idea.

"Wake up, we're going for a drive," I murmured to him, pressing a kiss against his lips as he glanced up at me.

"...where?" he asked, sitting up and shuffling up the bed to lean against the headboard. "It's still early...?"

"It's almost eight AM, Carlisle. Put some clothes on, and let's go; we can get breakfast on the way." Pulling the blankets back, I threw his jeans and a t-shirt at him.

Just doing what he was told, he pulled on the clothing, running his fingers through his hair until it was semi-presentable, and wandering into the bathroom to brush his teeth. "Where are we going?" he asked again, this time a little more awake.

"I thought we could go to the beach for a bit; it'll be too cold to swim, but it might be nice anyway?" I explained, already looking forward to being out of the house. Too much had happened over the last month, and I hoped going out for a while would help to clear the negativity from the air; it'd do us good to be out of town for a day.

Carlisle was clearly confused, but starting to smile at my childish enthusiasm. "...The nearest beach is a few hours away, isn't it?" he asked carefully, trying to hide his doubt but failing miserably.

I nodded, pulling him into a hug as he came back into the bedroom. He was still warm from being in bed, and it was nice to have him in my arms. "Yeah, but it's not that far. Besides, we haven't been on a date in ages-"

"Because I live with you, we're hardly 'dating'," he interrupted, laughing as he leaned up to kiss me. He tangled his fingers in my hair, one hand behind my neck to pull himself closer. "...but it sounds nice..." he admitted, his voice soft and somewhat shy.

Smiling, I rubbed the small of his back. "I'm glad; I think fresh air will do us both some good."

.

.

We stopped for coffee on the way out of town, getting pancakes and pulling over against the curb to eat them. I was trying not to look suspicious, but also attempting to gauge how much Carlisle was actually eating; despite being alone with me and having a good day planned, he still looked anxious. Trapping him in the car wasn't entirely innocent on my behalf, either; I was hoping the intimacy might get him talking again eventually.

As we continued to drive, he snuck his hand onto my leg, offering me a shy smile when I glanced over at him. I threaded my fingers through his, a weight lifting off my chest. "You've never been to a beach here, right?"

He shook his head. "...No...and not really back home, either. There wasn't anybody to take me when I was a child, and then when I got older, I never had a reason..."

I smiled, kissing the back of his fingers. "Is there anything you want to do that you were never allowed to before?" I asked carefully, unable to swallow back a wave of sadness at how easily he admitted it to me - like it was normal.

Watching me for a moment, he sighed quietly. "...It wasn't all bad, Garrett. My father used to pay a nanny to look after my siblings, and she liked me; she used to make sure that I was okay, and fix whatever he'd done to me..." There was a slight pause before he continued. "...your mother reminds me of her, actually..."

I chewed the inside of my cheek, trying to force back a surge of questions. Why he wanted to talk about this now was beyond me, but I wasn't passing up the opportunity. "How did school work for you? I mean, your father must have cared enough to enroll you?" Thinking that my words were too harsh, I winced, but Carlisle didn't flinch.

"Legally, he had to send me; I went to a public school like everyone else...that's why I like books so much; I would stay in the library after school for as long as they would let me because it was easier than going home. I used to think that the librarian enjoyed having me there, but now I'm guessing she really knew what my father did." Watching his lap, he couldn't quite bring himself to look at me.

Tightening my fingers around his, I kept my focus on the road. "Do you...miss London, Carlisle?" I hated the question, already knowing the answer but needing to hear it anyway.

That made him uncomfortable; he stiffened in his seat. "A little bit."

I kept my mouth shut, hoping he'd elaborate, and he did after a long pause.

"When I went back for my father's funeral, I thought I would hate it, but I didn't. I hate myself for not hating it, seeming as I wanted to leave it behind so badly before." Fidgeting, he was choosing his words very, very carefully. "I like it here, and I don't think I could ever move back to the UK, but I still can't let go of it..."

"You grew up there; it makes sense that you're still attached to the place," I reminded him softly, wishing I wasn't driving so that I could hug him.

"If we keep talking about this, Gar, I'm going to cry, and I don't want to ruin today with tears," he told me suddenly, forcing a laugh that was almost a sob. His hands shook as he rubbed his face, and the breaths he took were quite uneven.

I nodded and left it alone immediately, tracing circles against the back of his hand with my thumb. It wasn't the tears I was worried about; I just didn't want to push him into a panic attack, especially while we were in unfamiliar territory.

"Did you have fun with Riley the other day?" he asked after a while, clearly trying to put a little distance between himself and our last conversation.

"Yeah, it was nice. It would have been better with you there, though." Leah's comments worked their way back into my head, and I found myself chewing my lip to keep from frowning. It upset me more than it should have, not so much because she didn't like him, but because people were starting to notice; as soon as that happened, it wouldn't be long before someone said something to Carlisle, and there wasn't much I could do to stop it happening. I glanced at him while he was playing with his phone, trying to decide whether it was as bad as she'd made out.

Unfortunately, she was right. He did look sick. Living with him made me immune to the changes in him, until someone had pointed the severity of it out, but the more I thought about it, the more my eyes stung. What made it worse, was that Leah hadn't even seen the true extent of it, and she'd still called him out on it. He'd worn long sleeves and a jacket in the office, but the car was warm, and he'd stripped down to a t-shirt. Under the fabric, I could faintly see the outlines of his collarbones, and I didn't have to touch him to know that I would be able to feel his ribs.

I couldn't decide when things had gotten this much worse for him, sliding my fingers over his hand to lightly trace his wrist, trying not to worry over how prominent the bones were. My stomach cramped painfully when my fingertips met around his forearm, and I felt like I could crush him if I clenched my fist too hard.

"...You okay, Gar?" He caught my hand, effectively breaking my grasp on him and holding it instead. "You're quiet all of a sudden?"

I tried to speak, but the words caught, and I cleared my throat. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking."

"About…?" Like he already knew the answer, he'd partly turned away, almost like he regretted asking me.

I decided not to lie. "Your situation, and how I'm supposed to get you out," I admitted.

He groaned, sinking further into his seat. "You can't do anything about it, Garrett, just leave it."

Glad that he was in the car and unable to escape, I continued. "Exactly, you're going to have to be the one to quit-"

"I can't!"

"But why not? We can figure the financial side of it out later; we'll manage. And surely if you get another job, immigration will leave you alone? They're not going to deport you for being abused, Carlisle. If the worst comes to the worst, we can go to London while you reapply for a work visa."

"I can't-"

"Jesus, all this citizenship crap would be over in a second if you marry me, and then that job wouldn't matter anymore."

"Garrett, I can't," he pleaded again, starting to hyperventilate.

Resigned to what was happening, I pressed on. "What are you so scared of, Carlisle? All of this could be done in a heartbeat, if you'd just say the words. The police would drag that bastard out on his ass if you just-"

"But what if he says that it's my fault? They'll all just blame me!" he burst out, unable to stand it anymore.

"Anyone will be able to tell just by looking at you, which one of you is the victim here," I pointed out.

"The police never helped me before! I'm not going back to court to be told that I'm a liar, and that it's all my fault again! He'll only blame me, and what's to stop everybody else believing him? There's no point in wasting everyone's time again...It won't go any better than when I tried to get help to get away from dad..."

"Your boss is not your father, Carlisle," I reminded him softly, rubbing his leg. "I know things went badly when you tried to get legal action against him, but it won't work like that this time around. They both can say it's your fault as much as they like, but it never will be."

"...I deserve it, though…" he mumbled, picking at his fingers until he drew blood. His hands were shaking, and I knew he wanted to cry.

"Nothing you've ever done could ever make it okay for him to do what he's doing to you. You don't deserve any of this." I tightened my fingers around his jeans, badly wanting him in my arms. "...Why would you ever think that you did?"

"...because things like this wouldn't keep happening if I didn't...I moved continents and ended up in almost the same position all over again; if it was supposed to stop, it would have…" He looked so sad and unsure, and I didn't know what to do with him.

"Carlisle, that doesn't make it right. It should never have happened again- fuck, it shouldn't have happened in the first place. Don't you ever, ever believe any of that," I pleaded, smiling when he covered my fingers with his. "I love you."

"...I-I love you too...love you so much…"

"Have you ever thought about seeing a councillor for all this? Talking might help…?" I suggested carefully, not sure how he was going to react.

Instead of exploding at me, like I suspected he might, he just hesitated. "...when I went to the doctor after my father died...that's what she told me...but I don't know…I'm scared…"

"I know, but just think about it, okay? It's just another option to help get you through this." Quiet, I let him stew over it for a while, until we pulled into the carpark of the bay. "Don't worry about it now, though; come for a walk."

Nodding, he pulled on his jacket again and followed me out of the car. The conversation had shaken him up a bit, and he was still struggling to hold back tears. He folded his arms around himself, trying to maintain the heat he had against the wind coming off the sea.

"Come here," I murmured, pulling him into me and hugging his shoulders. "I'm sorry I brought all this up now; I just want you to be okay again." I squeezed him as he buried his face in my neck, a little guilty now.

He forced a laugh. "I'm just sorry that I cry all the time," he tried to joke. "Can we go to the beach now?"

I chuckled and kissed his cheek. "Yeah, come on."

.

.

Our attire wasn't really sand or wave appropriate, so we had to stay away from the water's edge. The air coming off the sea was quite a bit cooler than anywhere else, and we kept in the sun as much as possible; I knew the Carlisle was freezing almost instantly. I slipped my arm around his waist as we walked, but he opted to hold my hand.

As we walked, I was stealing glances at him, trying not to get caught but unable to help myself; he looked particularly sweet in the glow of the sun, and I was fighting hugging him. I already felt lighter from being away from the house, and everything was a little less crushing. For the first time since he'd told me what was happening with his boss, I could breathe properly. It helped that there was only a few other people on the beach.

"Do you feel any better out here?" I asked softly, squeezing his fingers.

He smiled, stepping closer to me. "Yeah...thanks, Gar…"

"Does the beach live up to your expectations?" I teased as I stopped and turned to face him again.

It made him laugh a little, and I relished the sound. "It does, and it doesn't look as miserable as the beaches back home. Though, it probably wouldn't be as nice without you…"

"Come here, you." I abruptly folded my legs under myself, sitting on the grass verge and pulling him down on top of me. It had us both giggling to ourselves, and I lay back and wrapped my arms around his waist. He collected my face in his hands and brought our lips together.

"I love you. Thanks for putting up with me."

"Of course I 'put up with you'. I was a mess when we met, and you put up with my shit. You've made everything infinitely better for me, Carlisle," I murmured.

He rolled his eyes but his smile stuck. We fell quiet for a while, and I folded my arm behind my head as a makeshift pillow while he leaned his head on my shoulder.

.

.

"...could stay here forever..." he mumbled, relaxed as he fidgeted with my shirt. The tension had melted from his shoulders, and the warmth of the sun was soaking into both of us, burning me and comforting him. Curling up a little more, he moulded himself to the shape of my body, slipping his arms around me. "Thank you for bringing me out here."

My hands wandered down his body, resting on his hip as I slipped my fingers under his t-shirt. The heat was making me sleepy, and the last thing I wanted to do now was drive the few hours home. Carlisle was right; I could have stayed here forever too. "I'm glad you like it. We'll have to come back once the water is a little warmer, and we can swim."

"I don't want to go home," he admitted, a little guilty.

"Me neither," I sighed. Mulling over it for a while, I watched the waves crash on the horizon, trying to savour the feeling of the boy in my arms, knowing he'd be rigid again as soon as we were back home and the threat of his boss was too real. Eventually, my stomach started growling, demanding food, and I was sure that Carlisle was about to fall asleep at any second. "Let's go get some dinner." Helping him sit up, I got to my feet, offering him my hand to pull himself up on.

He dusted his clothes off, briefly leaning up to kiss me and hugging me impulsively. The gesture was so sweet, my heart melted.

"Hungry?" I asked, hoping that being away from the stress might bring back his appetite.

"I'll eat," he assured me, threading his fingers through mine.

"Thank you," I sighed. I slipped my arm around his waist, beginning the walk back to a diner that I hadn't been to in years. My fears of it having closed down were abashed as I saw the glowing 'open' sign in the window, laughing to myself as I pulled him toward the door. "They serve the best seafood here; you'll like it."

.

.

We were both a little sad to be going as we made out way back to the car. Despite the night being fairly warm, Carlisle was starting to shiver, keeping close to me and very quiet, and I was just disappointed that we had to leave. All the problems of home seemed less while we were here, and it was as close to a holiday as either of us would get for a while.

"We could hire a room for the night," I suggested quietly.

His hand tightened around mine. "And drive home tomorrow night?"

"Yeah." I stopped by the car to steal a kiss, smiling at the weight of his arms around my neck. "As much as I'd like to stay here permanently, I'm not sure our bank accounts would allow it," I teased.

"I'd like that a lot," he murmured against my lips, holding me tightly against him. "Though it's going to be too late if we don't hurry up."

I laughed at that, stepping back and unlocking the vehicle. He was right; I only knew of one place in the town to stay, and if they didn't have a free room, we were rather screwed. The long drive was really unappealing, and I had my fingers crossed as we pulled up outside the building to see the office lady beginning to lock up.

She smiled as she saw us, pausing with her keys in the door. "Last minute customers?" she called out to me as I got out of the car, teasing a little.

I liked her immediately, and offered her a guilty smile. "Last minute decision to stay," I admitted. "Is there any chance we could book a room for the night..?"

It was either the pleading looks on our faces, or the kindness in her heart, but she playfully rolled her eyes and re-opened the office. "For you boys, I'm sure there is." The office she lead us into was cosy, and she only deliberated for a few seconds before taking a set of keys off the wall. She took our details from us, handing Carlisle's the keys while I signed for the room."It's nothing too fancy, but you boys enjoy the rest of your night. Just check out before five tomorrow," she smiled.

We thanked her, and then wandered up to find our room.