This chapter is super long and awkward, sorry.
.
.
"I can't do it- I can't, Garrett, I-" His frantic pleading turned into gasps for breath as he struggled to breathe, tears welling up as a panic attack over took all common sense. This had happened yesterday morning as well, and he'd had to call in sick on what was supposed to be his first day back.
"Carlisle, calm down; it'll be fine," I interrupted, pushing him backwards to sit on the edge of the bed so he wouldn't fall. Perhaps the councillor was right about all they thought was wrong with him - it obviously wasn't over, despite how well things had been going for us. I sat next to him, wrapping my arms around him as he shook. "It's okay; he's not going to be there."
He just shook his head. The colour had drained completely from his face and his shaking was to the point I wondered if it hurt. "I can't- I'm scared- I'm going to faint-"
"Because you're not breathing properly; take some deep breaths," I soothed. I hated seeing him like this, hated him being like this, but nothing I did seemed to make it better. He was going to have to go to work at some point, and these meltdowns weren't going to stop until he did. Slowly, he exhausted himself to the point that he was forced to calm down, still trembling and out of breath, but not so violently upset. "You're okay," I reminded him.
After a few minutes of gentle coaxing, he followed me to the kitchen for a drink of water. He watched me warily as I pulled on my jacket and passed him his, wide-eyed and not convinced by my reassurances. "I can't..." he whispered again, unable to look at me and watching the floor.
"Finish your drink, and then I'm driving you to work." I felt mean making him do this, but something told me it was only going to get worse if he gave in every time he got upset.
"...I can't...Garrett...I-I'm not ready." He held the glass with both hands, trying to keep it steady so he could get it to his lips without spilling it. "I really can't- It's going to make me sick..."
"You need to do this," I insisted. "The more you think about it, the more nervous you're going to get; it has to happen." Seeing the hurt and absolute defeat on his face, I sat in the chair next to his, taking the cup off of him so I could hold his hands. "It'll be okay, Carlisle, I promise. I know you think you can't, but you can. Caius isn't going to be there, and if it really is terrible, I'll come and take you home again."
He nodded, more giving up than agreeing with me. He slowly put on his jacket, reluctantly following me out the front door. His silence continued until I'd started the car, but he still wouldn't look at me. "I already don't feel well, Gar, I'm not going to be able to do this," he told me softly as we pulled into his company carpark.
"Just try, okay?" I sighed. "I know you don't want to-"
"It's not that 'I don't want to', Garrett; I'm scared," he snapped. "If not wanting to work was my problem, I would have quit my fucking job when this all started." Although he was trying to be mad at me, his voice shook and he was barely holding back tears.
"Hey…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to insinuate that." Half expecting him to push me away, I dared to sneak my hand onto his thigh.
Thankfully, he just covered my fingers with his. "I don't want to argue before we leave each other for the day."
"I love you. It'll be okay." I awkwardly leaned across the gearbox and wrapped my arms around him. "Please try not to worry; you're perfectly safe and it's going to be fine." Even though he was about to be late for work, I didn't let him go until he started to pull away. "Do you want me to walk you to your office?"
"No, it's okay." He kissed my cheek and slid out of the car, while I watched him walk away and felt like a bad parent making their child so something that they terrified of doing.
.
.
He only made it half-way through the day before getting so nervous he started to vomit again. He didn't call me like I'd wanted him to, choosing to walk instead. It was his new boss, the same man we'd had the meeting with a few weeks ago, that rang me to tell me what was going on. Thank god he was understanding, assuring me that if he could only manage half a day at the moment, then that was alright, and we could ease him back into work slowly.
Unfortunately, I had to finish my full day; my boss wasn't about to let me out at lunch time. To make it worse, Carlisle ignored all of my texts. By the end of the day, I'd somehow managed to complete the report I was working on but I knew the quality was shit. Still, it meant I could leave. My heart was racing by the time I got home, and I suddenly wasn't ready to deal with Carlisle yet; he was obviously upset, but hopefully not angry with me.
He didn't look up from his laptop as I opened and closed the front door, sitting at the kitchen table with his cat curled up on his lap. My presence seemed to make him more uncomfortable; his shoulders stiffened even though he tried not to react and he sunk his teeth into his lip.
"Carlisle, what happened today?" I asked softly, daring to stand behind him. My fingers brushed the back of his neck as I ran my fingers through his hair and I regained a little bit of hope when he didn't flinch back. Once I could see his screen, it took me a moment to realise he was looking at job listings.
"...I had a panic attack and they sent me home," he admitted reluctantly. He leaned back in his chair to look up at me, visibly unsure.
"And it was so horrible that you want to find a new job?" I hadn't meant to be condescending, but by the look on his face that was the way it'd come out. "It was just your first day; it'll get easier," I reminded him.
"But I don't want to feel like that every time I go to work- you know what it's like, Garrett, you've had panic attacks too; you know how awful it feels," he pleaded.
"I know, I'm not stopping you from changing careers if that's what you want; it's your choice, but I just don't want you to do it irrationally while you're upset." I leaned down, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and kissing his neck. "I want you to be happy, Carlisle."
He glanced up at me, smiling this time despite himself. "Do you think we should starting taking some of our boxes over to our new house tomorrow night?" He waited while the words sunk in, but suddenly couldn't wipe the grin off of his face.
My pulse spiked and I squeezed him tighter. "We got the apartment?"
He leaned up to kiss me. "Yes, Gar, we did."
.
.
The rest of the week passed in a blur. As soon as we signed the paperwork, they were giving us the keys, and then we were spending every evening transfering boxes from one place to the other. By late Friday night, we'd somehow managed it. We'd cleaned up and left our old apartment, and started building our new home together.
The new place was a lot smaller than our old one - one bedroom instead of two, complete with a kitchen and lounge - and we quickly realised the furniture situation wasn't going to work. I was almost a little pleased; we would be able to chose it's replacement together. It would well and truly be our home.
I also found that I had no interior decoration skills whatsoever. Instead, I left the colour coordinating to Carlisle; his creative vision fit perfectly, and it made everything far easier on my behalf - I stuck to the heavy lifting. It meant that the place actually looked nice instead of a haphazard arrangement of tables and mismatched chairs, tidy and organised despite the reduced space. It felt like we were finally a complete family - cat-child and all.
We stopped unpacking for the day once we'd found what we needed to be comfortable for the night. Both of us were exhausted from moving boxes all week. I pulled Carlisle into my arms at the first opportunity, placing a gentle kiss on his lips as we lay in bed together. "We did it," I murmured softly.
His eyes were bright as he smiled, despite the exhaustion and him barely surviving the last week at work. "I guess so. I never thought I'd do this with anyone." Wrapping his arms around my neck, his fingers fidgeted with my hair.
"Me neither." I captured his mouth with mine again, running my hands down his body and squeezing his waist. Finally something had gone right for us. Very right. Perfectly even. Wonderfully, beautifully perfect.
He glanced up, his gaze meeting mine. "Thank you for loving me," he said softly. "I've put you through a lot in the past year."
It took me off guard, and I felt a twinge of sadness. "I love you more than anything." I hugged him tightly, holding him against my chest. "I've never been as happy as I am now."
"I love you too." His voice was slightly muffled by my shirt. "I'm so proud of us."
Switching off the light, I grinned into the darkness. "Me too."
.
.
For the last half an hour, I'd been watching Carlisle put together our new dinner table - my old one took up the whole space so obnoxiously it was claustrophobic - and I was well aware that my 'helping' was getting under his feet as I failed to understand what the crudely printed diagrams-that-were-supposed-to-be-instructions meant. So far, all I'd done of actual use was to help him move the damn thing.
"Hold this," he murmured to me.
I stretched out my hand without really looking, expecting to feel either the cold handle of a tool or a table leg or something. Instead, my fingers brushed something warm and soft. I took Fox from him with a laugh, cradling her in the crook of my arm as I rolled my eyes at him. "Why?"
"She's getting in the way, and I don't want to squash her," he complained back, hiding a smile. He sat back on his knees, setting the tool he was holding down. "I think this is right?"
"There's a reason you're holding the screwdriver and not me, Carlisle," I teased. "But yeah, it's got four legs; it looks fine to me."
He rolled his eyes, getting to his feet to pull the piece of furniture upright. It fit in the space perfectly, just like he'd promised, and the natural wood finish nicely matched the rest of our kitchen Although he'd just given her to me, he was immediately prying Fox out of my arms and capturing her for his own once he was standing. She purred straight away, breaking the silence she'd started as soon as I'd picked her up; she tolerated me, but she loved him.
"Do you want to go out for dinner?" Considering our last 'date' was a disaster, it seemed about time that we did something nice together. We also had barely any food in the house because we'd both been so busy with moving we hadn't had time to get to the grocery store in the last week. I really didn't fancy eating noodles tonight.
"It's not going to stress you out too much?" He leaned against me, the kitten trapped between us as he refused to put her down. Of all the things we didn't have, he'd made doubly sure that we had more than enough cat food to last the next few days.
"No, I was fine when we went out with Alistair - until Randal hit you, of course." I instinctively raised my hand to brush my thumb over his cheek, glad that the blow hadn't been hard enough for it to ever really bruise. The whole memory made me a bit sick.
"Prick," he muttered under his breath, his mood souring at the mention of it as he turned away so I couldn't see his expression. I hoped that his curse was directed at Randal.
I held his waist to stop him. "Carlisle, I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you that night. It all happened so fast, and I didn't know what to do because he's Alistair's partner, and I was already nervous because of the food, and- I know that's not an excuse; I just don't want you to think that I don't care. I know you were scared, and I'm sorry I didn't handle that better." The longer he didn't reply, the more nervous I got. My hands moved to his wrists, my thumbs slowly tracing circles against the back of his palm. "Carlisle, please say something…"
"I'm not mad at you, Garrett, I'd just rather not think about it." Slowly, he looked up at me, uncomfortable and nervous. His complete change in mood worried me a little; I was still half expecting him to yell at me. "I need to find another job, Gar, being there every day is too much," he told me anxiously. "I won't leave until I've got another one, but I can't stay in that office."
"Okay, if that's what you need to do." I hugged him, breathing a sigh of relief when he relaxed; I knew he hadn't been pleased with me for making him go back, but he'd tried it, and that was all I could ask of him.
"...Are you upset with me?" The question was very hesitant and shy, and I could hear the worry in his voice.
I shook my head. "No, you tried and if you still feel like you need to leave, then that's alright. I don't want you to be miserable every day. Do you still want to go out for dinner? Or we can just go to the supermarket?"
Thankfully, he started to smile again. "Let's go find something to eat; I don't want to cook."
.
.
It being 7pm on a Saturday night, every place we went into was packed with people. Just the sight of them made me nervous, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to eat in any of the restaurants around us. Carlisle, being the angel that he was, suggested that we just order our meals to go and found somewhere nice to eat. We ended up driving to a large park in our new neighbourhood, sitting on our jackets under the old acorn trees with our meals in our laps. No one else had had the same idea as us, luckily, and we had the whole place to ourselves.
"Carnival," he mumbled through a mouthful of pasta.
"What?" I laughed. It still pleased me to see him eating, to see him more like he was when we first met, and I found myself smiling as I watched him.
He gestured with his fork to a sign across the carpark. "There's a carnival on; can we go? I've never been to one before," he repeated.
I followed his line of sight. The poster said that there was some kind of fair on a few streets away, which would explain why it was so empty here. A bit of fun would do us both good, and I couldn't say no to something that would make another positive memory for him, especially while he was still struggling at work. "Yeah, if you want. Finish your dinner first, though?"
"Yes, Garrett," he agreed obediently, rolling his eyes. A smile still tugged on the corners of his lips, eventually breaking through when he looked over at me. "You worry too much, you know. I've gained 3 kgs since I've been off work; I'm fine. You don't need to measure how much I'm eating like a bloody hawk." He rubbed my leg, letting me know he wasn't mad, but I still felt guilty that he had noticed me hovering.
Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was still far too little. "I can't help it; it was horrible watching you get that sick, and I just want you to be well again." Once he'd swallowed his last mouthful, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in to me, hugging him tightly. "I'm sorry."
He kissed my throat, leaning forward so that his weight forced me to lie back against the grass. "You're lucky it's kind of sweet," he teased. His fingers found their way into my hair, pulling it slightly and effectively messing it up.
I hummed in answer, my hands wandering down his body to rest on his thighs. It made me a little less nervous to touch him now that he didn't feel so horribly fragile. I'd missed the closeness between us like this. His kisses trailed along my jaw, until he caught my bottom lip lightly between his teeth, and I strangled a groan in my throat. I suddenly really despised being in public. "Are you sure you want to go to this carnival?" I asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.
"Yeah, don't you?" He was teasing me, hiding an innocent smile; he wasn't letting me out of this one. Without another word, he rolled off me, getting to his feet and offering me a hand up. "It'll be fun, Gar. Besides, we've just eaten."
That wasn't much of an excuse, and I suspected that he was still nervous like he'd been after Caius; I was going to have to force myself to be slow with him, despite how playful he'd been while we were camping. I grabbed his hand and let him haul me to my feet, keeping hold of his fingers as we started to make our way over there. We decided to just walk the few streets over instead of risking needing to find parking, and I was glad that we had; there were people everywhere. I kept stealing glances at Carlisle as we made out way in; I didn't want him to be anxious about the crowd.
He was too excited to even notice the other people around us. We wandered through a few of the stalls, eventually ending up with a stick of candyfloss each - Carlisle had never had that before either, and that was a crime in my books. The stupid stall games provided a bit of entertainment for an hour or so, both of us failing miserably but my boyfriend somehow ending up with a rather large stuffed animal.
"Come on the ferris wheel with me?" He wrapped one hands around one of mine, already pulling me in that direction. We hadn't attempted any of the rickety looking rides yet, and I'd hoped that he might think they were as decepid looking as I did and be too scared to go near them. Of course not, though.
"Carlisle, I'm almost 28 years old," I groaned at him. "You may weigh 120 pounds, but I do not." I could already picture the thing collapsing with us inside it, or rolling doomsday-style through the city as it came off it's rails.
"You're also holding a giant teddy bear and candyfloss," he teased, starting to laugh. He nudged me with his shoulder, stepping closer and slipping his arm around my waist.
"Your bear," I reminded him.
"You can have it," he grinned.
"How chivalrous of you," I rolled my eyes. I wasn't even sure how I ended up with it in my arms, by that point. "What about you go, and I watch?"
"Are you my parent? Come, Garrett, it wouldn't be open if it wasn't safe." He stopped to face me, wrapping his arms around my neck and standing on his toes to kiss me. He did have a point, I guess. I was starting to think that he just needed to get out of the crowd, but didn't know how to tell me.
I gave in. "Alright. Are you ready to go home, afterwards?" Just like I'd thought, he nodded.
"Yes, please," he mumbled, looking away. His nerves seemed to ease as we stood in line for the ride, so long as I kept my hand against the small of his back. Thankfully, the ride didn't so much as creak as we stepped onto it, and we weren't the only adults there at this time of night. I wasn't normally a fan of heights, but the city did look awfully pretty in the dim lighting, street lamps scattered like glowing orbs along the streets. I was almost disappointed when it was time for us to get off the ride, but Carlisle was looking quite unnerved, and it was obvious that he needed to go.
"Come on," I murmured, wrapping my arm around his shoulders and guiding him toward the nearest exit. It was only a few minutes walk back to the car, thankfully, and we were inside the safety of the vehicle in no time. "You okay, Carlisle?" I asked softly.
He nodded. "Yeah, I just...it made me nervous; I'm not sure why," he admitted quietly. "I'm alright now."
"You can tell me when you're not feeling good," I reminded him. "I can't do anything if I don't know."
"I know, it's just like I forget how to breathe, and I can't think properly as soon as there's too many people. It didn't used to be that way, though; I used to be fine." He was mumbling, not really wanting to tell me but unable to avoid it as the words tumbled out.
"You're been through a lot in the last few months; it's just another thing that we'll deal with. Have you told the councillor about it?" I knew I was crossing a line, and that he didn't want to go there right now, but the only time I could get him to talk about it was when he was physically trapped with me in the car. As far as we'd come, he still wouldn't open up about it, and it sometimes made me very aware of how little I knew about him.
"No." The answer was short and sharp, clearly irritated. He was about to become cagey and abrasive, and we both knew it.
"There's no point in going if you're not going to talk to her-"
He cut me off. "I am talking to her, just not about that; she probably already think I'm crazy."
"Alright." I left it, not wanting a fight after we'd had a nice evening. By the time we got home, he'd settled again, forgiving me enough to want to hold my hand as I drove.
"Do you think Kate will want the bear?" he asked once we got home, dragging the fluffy creature out of the car to bring inside. I bit back a smile as he tried to find a non-awkward way to hold it, eventually surrendering and hugging it.
"Aren't you going to keep your prize?" I teased. "You two are awfully cute together." I took it off him when he tripped on the steps, unable to see where he was walking because of it.
"What am I going to do with an oversized toy, Garrett?" he laughed.
"You can cuddle it when you're alone in bed, instead of begging me to come in earlier when I'm not ready." I pushed him with it, laughing when he was off-balance enough to stumble from the light nudge.
"Do you really want a teddy bear to replace you, Garrett? I guess it might not complain so much," he teased back. "And it won't whine when my hands are too cold, or take all the blankets in bed, or-" He cut himself off giggling as I got the front door open and threw the thing onto the couch, grabbing him instead.
"In that case, I'm sure Kate would love it." She really would, and the gesture was sweet; her father wouldn't ever be in favour of buying such a monstrosity, but my niece would be over the moon with it. I kissed him carefully, trying to gauge his reaction to see if he was still annoyed, but he wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me into him. "Are you ready for bed, Carlisle?" I was already pushing him that way, guiding him while he walked backwards.
"That depends, am I taking you or the bear with me?" The mattress hit the backs of his shins and he fell against it, his fingers remaining tangled in my clothing to drag me down with him.
"The bear can sleep on the couch," I chuckled, slipping my hands under his shirt and starting to tug it off of him. He didn't provide any resistance, obliging straight away and then immediately starting on the buttons of mine.
Unfortunately for us, Fox cried, annoyed we'd arrived home and not paid her any attention. Carlisle pushed me away and sat up. "We're not fucking with our child in the room," he told me, hiding a smile.
I groaned and lay back on the bed, pulling the blankets over myself while he took her into the kitchen. Removing the cat from the room shouldn't have taken as long as it did, but apparently soothing her required a good five minutes of his time. I heard him feed her, and then he was suddenly back in bed with me. "Is she happy now?" I ran my hands down his thighs as he knelt with one knee on either side of my hips.
"Yeah, she's good," he murmured. He leaned down, his lips brushing mine before he kissed me firmly. My knee-jerk reaction was to coil my arms around his waist, causing him to collapse into me. He tangled his fingers in my hair, slipping one of his knees between both of mine, his lips trailing along my jaw and down my neck as I dragged my nails up his back. Neither of us were fully underdressed yet, and I wondered whether he saw it going that far at all.
Having the weight of his body on top of mine was comforting, and every little touch he rewarded me with seemed amplified. I could see why he liked being in this position so much. It was a stupid conversation, but I didn't have enough coherence left to stop it coming out of my mouth. "Have you ever…?" I'd pulled out of a kiss to ask, but he just looked amused.
"'Have I ever 'what', Gar?" he asked, obviously teasing me.
I knew that he already knew what I was asking, but I couldn't make the words come out anyway. "Have you ever...I mean, the whole time we've been together it's always been me that's…"
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Considering I'm your first boyfriend, it didn't seem like a good idea to jump straight into that. I thought it would freak you out."
"You're right; it would have. But it...you like it? It feels good, right?" I was only getting more awkward, but it was just making him laugh.
"We've been together a year and a half, Garrett; I would have said something by now if it didn't feel good. What's all this about?"
"Um...I guess I'm just, ah, curious…?" Immediately distracted as his lips trailed down my chest, I fought to keep on track.
He was trying to bait me into saying the words. At least he wasn't put off, I guess. "About?"
I took a breath to steady myself, knotting my fingers in his hair and barely reminding myself not to pull. "I want you to fuck me...I think…" I didn't want to know how unsure I looked, because it made him stop what he was doing and lie next to me, his arms around my waist.
"What are you worried about?" he asked softly. "If it's not something you want, I'm okay with that, Gar; don't do it if you only want to because you think it'll please me. I'm fine with how we are, but if you still want to try it, we can."
Lightly rubbing his shoulder, I tried to figure out where I'd found such a sweet boy. "I want to try, but I don't want it to hurt. I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose, but it's still new to me, and…"
"I'm not going to lie to you; it's a bit uncomfortable the first few times, but it feels good once you get used to it. We can go as slow as you need to."
I nodded slowly, squeezing him. "I want to try. If you do too. You have done it before, right?"
"Yeah, not a lot though; it always made me quite nervous," he admitted.
For some reason, hearing that made me feel better, and my tension eased a little. "Nervous, why? It's always been fine for me?"
His cheeks warmed a bit, and I was quite aware that he didn't like talking about his previous partners. "They always wanted it to happen too quickly, and it was too rough, and I could never...stuff like that never worked for me; I got too anxious about it. I think it would be different with you, though."
"I'm scared I'm going to hate it," I told him. I knew he wouldn't make fun of me, but I still didn't like the thought of having to back out.
He laughed quietly and kissed my cheek. "It's not like you're not allowed to like guys anymore if you don't like being a bottom, Garrett. If you hate, then we don't have to do it again. All you have to say is 'stop'."
"I want to try," I told him again, rubbing the tops of his arms as he leaned on me. The closer he was to me, the less scary it seemed, and considering there was no space between us at the moment, I was all talk.
"Now?" he asked incredulously, looking a little concerned.
"Yeah, unless you don't want to." It was now or never; I was going to lose my nerve if I thought about it too long.
"Alright," he slowly agreed. He slipped out of bed and headed to the bathroom, presumably to go and get what we needed, and my heart was suddenly racing. Good racing, I thought, but still going a hundred miles an hour. I was a little worried that Carlisle might hear it when he came back, but he was a little preoccupied. "Are you sure, Garrett?"
I laughed, rolling my eyes at him. "More sure than you, apparently." My laugh was cut off when he unceremoniously dropped a condom onto the bed.
"Try not to think about that," he told me, slipping back under the blankets again. His lips met mine, one hand resting against the side of my face, and I was suddenly finding it hard to focus on anything else.
I tangled my fingers in his hair, savouring the feeling of him moving against me as he settled over me again. "I love you," I mumbled, watching the ceiling as his mouth moved to my neck. There was no way that he couldn't feel my pulse now.
"I love you too; just try and relax," he murmured. A quiet laugh slipped out and he brushed his thumb across my throat. "You're not about to have a heart attack, are you?" he teased.
"I'm really nervous…" I chuckled. My face grew warm despite my attempt to keep from blushing, and I couldn't help but smile as our eyes met.
"Me too, but you're so cute." He was laughing, unable to stop smiling at the red in my cheeks. Without warning, he dropped his hand between my legs. I gasped involuntarily, arching my back under him. My teeth dug into my lip as I tried not to groan, and my fingers curled around the bedsheets. A rush of adrenaline flooded my system and I fought begging him to hurry up. He slowly started to stroke me, one hand wrapped around my cock while he fumbled with the lid on the lube with the other. It was clumsy and had both of us giggling. "Just relax, and remember we can stop," he reminded.
His lips replaced his hand and I couldn't think past curse words, arching up to meet his mouth. A hum reverberated in his throat as I tugged his hair, an unstoppable moan in my chest at the vibration it caused. I started to say his name, to beg him to hurry up or I was going to lose it, but he slipped a finger inside of me. My hips buckled as I shifted on the bed to meet him, my breath catching in my chest. He teased my thighs with his teeth, keeping me wonderfully, horribly distracted as he started to prepare me.
Squirming, I tried not to tense around him, ignoring the weird pressure in exchange for Carlisle's kisses as his lips found their way back to mine. He kept moving against me, never leaving me without friction. There was no pain, just slight discomfort which was quickly overtaken by pleasure as he pressed the right places. I held his face in my hands, brushing my thumb over the pink flush in his cheeks. "You okay?" he asked softly, pausing for a moment to kiss my forehead.
"Yeah, I trust you; I'm ready," I assured him, shifting on the bed to let him settle between my thighs. Tracing the lines of his chest, I let my eyes fall closed as he fumbled with the condom. Just from how much effort it was taking, I knew he was freaking out a little.
He shifted, starting to kiss me again as he carefully pushed into me. I tensed up immediately, to the point that it was painful for both of us. "Do you want me to stop?" he asked anxiously.
I shook my head, not ready to surrender yet. Forcing deep breaths, I tried to relax, unable to stop my nails digging into his shoulders as he moved a little more. He was holding his breath, obviously hating every second of it. The discomfort turned to pain, and I flinched, unnerving him enough to pull out completely. "Stop- I can't, sorry, that really doesn't feel good," I told him quickly, rubbing the back of his neck as he fell into me.
"Are you hurt? Are you okay?" he asked frantically, running his fingers through my hair to brush it off my face. "I'm sorry, Gar."
"I'm fine," I assured him. "Why the hell do you like that?" I ran my fingers down his spine, hugging him once my hands were on his waist.
He laughed a little, kissing me again. "It feels better after you get used to it; it's kind of rough the first couple of times. You've never hurt me."
"I still think you're crazy," I teased, pushing him so he was lying on the bed next to me and rolling over to face him.
His hand landed on my chest as he smiled. "Here's to new houses and new experiences, right?"
"I guess so," I grinned.
.
.