Is this...is this a weekly update?
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"Can you please answer the door?" Although he was the one that had phoned him, Alistair just about jumped through the roof when Randal had knocked on the door. It had taken him all day to work up the courage, and he hadn't sent the text until after the three of us had had dinner together.
Carlisle was nervous too. His eyes widened at the sound of Randal at the door, but he did get up to open it. His hands shook as he shoved them into his pockets, and I hurried to stand behind him, my hands closing over his shoulders as I got ready to pull him out of the way. I managed to stop him before he had the chance to unlock it. "I'll get it," I whispered to him over his shoulder. "Go and sit with Alistair."
He didn't. He grabbed my hand and refused to let go, but did step slightly behind me, both arms coiling around my arm. His breath stopped as I turned the lock, and I was sure mine did too. Surprisingly, the man we came face to face with looked oddly broken. "Please can I see Alistair," Randal asked, his voice croaking a little.
My boyfriend's fingernails dug into my bicep so hard that I was sure he was going to break the skin. "You can come in," he told him stiffly. I hated the idea of that brute in our apartment, but I knew what Carlisle was doing; he wasn't about to put Alistair entirely at his mercy on his own.
Randal hesitated, but slowly crept into the kitchen after us. His shoulders were slumped, and he looked rather defeated, his frowning deepening when he reached for Alistair and he flinched away. Alistair kept looking to Carlisle for reassurance, and I got the sense he'd rather have been holding his hand instead of his boyfriend's. An apology spewed out of him, and he tried again to touch him, this time trying for a hug. Alistair allowed it, though his body remained stiff and his hands remained in his pockets.
I trusted the asshole enough not to beat the shit out of anyone while he was in someone else's house, and I gently guided Carlisle back into the lounge to give them a little space. They were still in sight and we could still hear their conversation, so I judged it safe. Carlisle was going to pull a muscle if he remained as tense as he was. "Relax; we can call the police if anything happens," I told him in a whisper, kissing his throat. "It's okay, just breathe." Winding my arms around his waist, I held him against my chest.
He winced violently when Alistair raised his voice, half-hearted slamming his hand against Randal's chest and shoving him back. There was tense pause before Randal's silence pushed Alistair over the edge, and he was suddenly screaming at him. It was a little awkward watching them have a rather personal argument in front of us, and the raised voices were making Carlisle anxious. I had half a mind to ask them to leave. I would have if hadn't of endangered Alistair, and immediately landed me single.
A few more minutes of their yelling, and I was convinced Carlisle was going through some kind of ptsd panic attack. He suddenly shoved away from me, disappearing down the hallway and into our bedroom. I was scared to leave the other two alone; he was just going to have to wait it out. It seemed like an eternity of them getting angrier and angrier at each other, Randal apologising while Alistair screamed at him. Just when I was about to intervene, Al managed to step back and get a grip. "If you ever touch me like that again, we're done, Randal," he told him firmly. It seemed stupid to me that he would even tolerate once, but there wasn't anything I could do about it.
"I won't, babe," he promised, keeping his tone gentle as he leaned forward in an attempt to kiss him. "I've already promised you that I won't; I love you, Al. I'm sorry." Slowly, Alistair melted under his words, and I wondered why he couldn't see through them. "I missed you last night; come home with me, baby."
I could have hit Alistair for agreeing. Instead, I pulled him aside as they turned to leave, lowering my voice to speak to him. "You come straight back here if anything happens, alright? We're always happy to have you if you need somewhere to stay. One of us can come and get you in the middle of the night, if we need to, just call us." I barely resisted reprimanding him for being so stupid, but it wasn't going to do any good at this point.
"Thanks, Garrett." He hugged me without warning, squeezing so tightly it was hard to breathe for a second - more than enough proof that he was still frightened. The affection was unexpected, and I found myself smiling in response. Neither of them seemed to realise that Carlisle was gone as they said goodbye, but I was more than happy to close the door on the two of them.
I immediately traced him down the hallway, finding him sitting on our bed with a frightened kitten. My entrance into the room had made both of them jump, except while Fox purred, my boyfriend was barely restraining tears, absolute guilt on his face.
"I'm sorry- the shouting- it's too much like Caius and my dad- I'm trying to stop running away but-"
"Hey, Carlisle, it's okay, they're gone." Kneeling in front of him, I pulled him into me, locking my arms around him. "You're getting better; you didn't panic in front of them," I reminded him. "Don't freak out about it now; it's over."
Thankfully, he just nodded, wrapping his arms around my neck and burying his face in my shoulder. It took a few minutes for his breathing to regulate again, and even longer for the colour to return to his face. "...Do you really think I'm getting better?" he asked softly, his voice muffled by my clothing.
I pushed him so that he landed on his back, leaning over him to gently bring our lips together. My thumb trailed across his cheek as I cupped his face in my hands, a grin irresistible when he managed to smile a little. "You're doing so much better."
He frowned a little, sighing through his teeth. "Alistair left with him? Was it because of me?"
"No, of course not. He and Randal 'made up', apparently." I kissed his forehead, letting my weight rest against him.
He shifted under me, slipping one of his legs between mine and leaning back into the mattress. "I don't think that'll last long…"
"Me neither, but we'll bail Al out again if we have to." I didn't want him to think about it anymore, quickly glancing around the room for something to distract him. My gaze landed on our bookshelf across the room, narrowing in on one novel in particular. Sliding off the bed, I went to get it. "Remember this?" I held up the book I'd bought from him when he still worked at the bookshop, before we started dating and when I was too scared to talk to him.
His quiet laughter filled the room. "Yeah, did you ever read it?"
"Parts of it," I admitted sheepishly. "Really, I just wanted to buy it from you." My fingertips traced the embossed cover as I thought about how far we'd come. "We've done well together, you know…especially considering all that has happened since we've been together." Broaching the subject was a little unappealing, but it was true all the same; my panic attacks were a lot less than they were a year ago, and I thought Carlisle was coping surprisingly well seeming as he'd been through a few months of hell. Perhaps it was Randal being such an asshole that made me so grateful for him. I could definitely be in a lot worse of a situation.
Carlisle was suddenly on his feet and at my side, his arms around my waist and his head against my shoulder as I flicked through a few pages. "I guess so, all thanks to you."
"That isn't true; you're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
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Father's day snuck up on us, and I still wasn't sure how Carlisle was going to manage it. It was the day before he was due to start his training course, and he'd been so preoccupied with it that I had assumed he'd forgotten we were supposed to be going out to brunch. I woke up far too early and had thought he was asleep, until he rolled over and wrapped an arm around my torso. Capturing him and moulding my body to the shape of his, I slowly rubbing his shoulder. "You feeling okay?" I checked. Part of me wanted him to back out; I was tired, and could have easily slept another few hours. Driving all the way to mum and dad's town really wasn't appealing.
"Yes, Garrett, are you? You seem worried?" He hugged one of my arms, refusing to let me move away from him until I answered after hearing my tone. "Is it the food that's making you stressed? We could just order coffee; it's only brunch, after all."
"I'm not that nervous, I just can't be bothered," I admitted. I certainly wasn't thrilled about eating out, but knowing that Carlisle wasn't about to lose it half way through made me feel a bit better.
He laughed, scrambling away to switch off our alarm clock when it stated to blare. "Do you want to shower before we go?" Already out of bed and halfway across the room, he was far too chirpy for the hour. I would never get used to that, no matter how long we lived together.
"Five more minutes," I grumbled, pulling a pillow over my face to block out the light, suddenly wanting to sleep again. The water started in the bathroom, but it wasn't enticing enough to make me want to throw myself out of bed any earlier. I knew I'd just lost my opportunity, but I couldn't bring myself to care yet; we didn't have enough time for anything other than washing anyway.
Next thing I knew, I was having a towel thrown at me, violently jolting me awake again. "You have twenty minutes, hurry up," Carlisle told me, mumbling past the toothbrush in his mouth. He was already dressed, and the whirring of the washing machine in the background suggested that he had already started today's chores. No doubt it was nervous energy. Talking had made him cough, my frowning making his cheeks pink.
"I thought you said you were feeling okay," I accused, shuffling up the bed to sit up. "Come here." Once he was close enough, I wrapped my hands around his. "Are you not well? You're not allowed to get sick now; you're starting your course tomorrow."
"I'm fine, Gar, just hurry up and get dressed before we're late; your brother is already mad at me, let's not give him another reason," he said quietly.
"Alright," I reluctantly agreed. A cold had never killed anyone since the twentieth century, I supposed. I quickly scrambled around to find something to wear and threw myself into the shower, trying to be at least semi-presentable before we had to face my family. I could only hope that Eleazar would be nice today. Stupid fucking Randal.
As I slowly got dressed, I watched Carlisle tie his shoes and struggle with his tie, anxious fingers giving him away as he fumbled. I'd forgotten how awfully cute he looked dressed up. The last time we'd had to was for Edward and Bella's wedding, and he was so sick then it was hard to notice anything else. I like this half-formal, half casual thing a lot.
He noticed me staring after a little while, his face warming a bit. "Is this okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," I grinned. "Although, I'm sure that tie used to be mine."
He smirked at my teasing, rolling his eyes. "I could say the same to you; since when do you wear grey, Garrett?"
"I'm not sure, ever since you stole my blue one," I laughed. In reality, I really liked the colour on him, and had 'accidently' misplaced the other until he'd settled on something to wear; I knew exactly what where it was. The dresser across the room, third draw up on the left, under a pair of socks. Well hidden, if I said so myself.
He wandered over to me, his hands landing on my shoulders as he stood on his toes to kiss me. "You look really nice. Ready to go?"
I gently smoothed his tie, tugging it into place as an excuse to stall a little longer. "Yeah, let's go before we're late."
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As we drove, I became very aware of Carlisle was sniffling and coughing all the time. He hadn't complained yet, and it had been almost an hour, but I was sure that this was about to turn into something. "You're sick," I accused as he sneezed again. I couldn't help but be a little annoyed; we could have stayed home if he'd said he wasn't feeling well, and we wouldn't have to be doing this.
He shook his head. "It's allergies from the stupid flowers; I'm not sick," he groaned.
I couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Yesterday you were saying how much you liked them," I teased. I wasn't sure what type of neighbourhood he'd grown up in, but he'd been adorably excited when the trees on our street had broken out into flower a few days ago, and cute neighbourhoods like this obviously weren't something he was used to.
"That was before they made it hard to breath," he laughed. It ended in a coughing fit, his eyes watering until it finally stopped.
In the whole time I'd known him, I'd never seen Carlisle get allergies before. "Has this happened before, or is this a new thing?" I asked hesitantly. The last thing we needed was a new problem, but luckily he just nodded. Hoping it might soothe his throat enough for him to actually talk to me, I past him a drink bottle.
"Thanks," he managed to get out once he could breathe again. "It happens every summer; we just didn't live together last year so you didn't have to put up with it. It was Alistair's problem. I'm okay, though, it's just...embarrassing, if anything."
I leaned over to kiss his cheek as we stopped at a traffic light. "Are you sure you're okay to be out today, then?"
He rolled his eyes. "Stop trying to get out of this; it's father's day. We don't have to stay long if you don't want to, but we need to go for a little while."
"This means a lot to you, doesn't it?" I asked softly, my fingers finding his.
"Your dad has been good to me," he mumbled, suddenly occupied with something out the window. His hold on me tightened a little, his fingertips brushing the back of my hand. "I want to be good for him too." It would have been a sweet statement, had he not started to choke again. He tried to hide it for a moment, but gave in when he knew he'd been caught. "I'm fine, Garrett."
"We're getting allergy pills on the way home," I told him firmly.
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We'd brought the giant teddy bear from the carnival with us to give to Kate, and her face lit up as soon as we walked into the cafe carrying it. Dad was the first to greet us, standing up from the table with a huge grin. "How are my boys?" His attempt to wrap his arms around both of us at the same time was awkward, to say the least; I was a little taller than him, while Carlisle was a little shorter, and it off balanced the three of us, leaving everyone at the table chuckling.
"We're good, dad," I assured him as Carlisle mumbled the same. "Happy father's day." Eleazar did nothing but fail not to scowl as we gave his daughter the bear, obviously unimpressed at the fondness she had for my boyfriend. We sat at the table with the rest of my family, and I tried not to be mad at him.
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It turns out that boutique cafes are not the place for small children. Despite my brother and his wife's best attempts, Kate was still terrorizing the place while we waited for menus. Other diners looked on disapprovingly as she ran up and down the aisle, tugging table cloths and getting under the wait staff's feet. Eleazar was getting red in the face, while Carmen gave up trying to scold her and kept her head down. My niece's chaotic energy was winding me up too; I already didn't want to be here, and waiting for her to fall and hurt herself or destroy something was making my heart race.
I was ready to go home by the time a waitress came around to us. Everyone else ordered food, and my head spun a bit as I just ordered coffee, squeezing Carlisle's hand so tightly under the table I was sure I was hurting him. He just patiently rubbed my fingers, apparently well aware that I was freaking out. I leaned my head against his shoulder, wishing we could just pack up and leave. "Carlisle…" I whispered to him.
"It's okay, Gar," he whispered back, resting his cheek on the top of my head. He was trying not to cough again, and I hated being here even more now, as much as I loved my dad. The dishes arrived eventually and it still wasn't enough to coax Kate into sitting at the table with us. Her mother tried to rein her in, but she wasn't having it, running around and around the place at full speed.
It all came to a head as the waitress tried to set my coffee on the table. My niece's foot caught on the table leg as she tore around the corner, and I watched in slow motion as she started to fall. The coffee fell from the edge of the table as her tiny hands caught the table cloth, and in that split second I pictured a million different scenarios of the liquid burning her, the horrified expressions of my family ensuring me they were thinking the same thing. My reflexes failed me; I wanted to grab her, but my hands weren't following instructions, suddenly useless.
Out of nowhere, Carlisle ripped his hand out of mine, scooping Kate up just before she hit the ground. She whined and cried as he lifted her into her lap, frightened by the sudden change of events. "Is the drink on you? Are you hurt?" He asked frantically, quickly checking her over. She shook her head, her sobbing turning to whimpers as she hugged him. We all breathed a sigh of relief.
The waitress hurried to get some napkins to clean up the mess, her face bright red as she apologised to us. She came back with a piece of cake and another coffee, passing me the mug and giving the treat to my niece. We'd have to tip the poor woman a fortune to make up for this mess.
Despite Carmen trying to coax her, Kate stayed firmly on Carlisle's knee, refusing to move no matter what. "It's okay," Carlisle awkwardly assured her. "She can stay there." My boyfriend's phone quickly became an object of fixation as soon as she was done with her food, and the peace was kept as he let her fiddle with the camera and attempt some of the games, half listening to her nonsense babble and half talking to dad.
I managed to get about half of my coffee down before starting to feel too sick to have anymore. The conversation I tried to hold with mum was failing, but I wasn't sure how to get Carlisle's attention now that he was holding Kate without causing a scene. I was getting lightheaded and couldn't think properly, and I was sure my parents were starting to notice. Needing an escape, I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
The restroom door swung open not long after I'd entered, and warm arms were suddenly around my waist. "You okay, Gar? Do you need to leave?"
I forced myself to calm down a little before I answered him. No need to overreact more than you already have. It didn't help; as shitty as I felt about it, I really couldn't stay here any longer without losing my shit. "Would it be okay if we had mum and dad over for dinner one night? I need to go, and I feel really bad about it, and they haven't seen our new place yet."
"Yeah, of course." He leaned up on his toes to kiss me. "Let's go home, then."
"Thanks, Carlisle," I sighed, letting him comfort me while I got a grip again. I kept a tight hold of his hand as we went to say goodbye, and my parents immediately took us up on the dinner offer. I just ignored their concerned looks while we paid for what we'd ordered. Mostly, I was just glad to be out of there.
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It had taken me a good five minutes of driving before the tightness in my chest fully dissolved. "Allergy pills, right?" I remembered, glancing at Carlisle. At least going home meant that he didn't have to feel unwell in public. It was going to kill me if I had to listen to him sniff and sneeze all day.
"If you're feeling okay enough to stop, otherwise I can come back out later."
"No, it's okay. We can go now." Going to the pharmacy would be a good distraction; I felt like absolute shit for having to leave. The feeling wasn't getting any less, and by the time we got there, I kind of wanted to throw myself under a bus for doing that to dad. Carlisle kept glancing at me, seeming to know something was wrong but unwilling to push me in public. I grabbed his hand before we could get out of the car. "...I have to tell my parent's what's wrong with me; I can't keep abandoning family events without an explanation, even if I am better than I was…but I think I need you to be there too, or I'm going to freak out…"
"We can talk about it when they come for dinner, if you want?" he suggested softly, forever gentle.
I nodded, already nervous. By the time I pulled up outside of the pharmacy, Carlisle was stuck in another coughing fit. It took him a minute to be able to breathe enough to refuse my offer to go into the shop for him, and even then, his cheeks were still red from the exertion. Instead, I went in with him. Maybe we could both survive if we went together; I could stop him from collapsing from lack of oxygen, and he could stop me losing my mind before we got home.
It didn't take him long to locate the pills. He was visibly frustrated about having to buy it in the first place,but was still polite to the woman behind the counter as he paid for it. She took one look at him and smiled sympathetically. "You taken this before, hun?" she asked him.
To his credit, he tried hard not to cringe at the name - and failed miserably. "Yes, thanks," he told her stiffly. He pretty much fled the shop after that, keeping a tight hold on my hand to drag me with him.
"What's the matter? Are you allergic to the pharmacy too?" I teased, catching his waist before he could get too far ahead of me. Pressing a quick kiss against his neck, I felt a bit more secure with him this close to me.
"Nothing, I'm just sick of taking pills for everything; it's everyone's solution to everything, right?" he grumbled. It didn't take a genius to figure out that this was an antidepressant related issue rather than the allergy pills.
I wrapped my arms around him before he could get in the car in an attempt to distract him. "You did well with Kate today." Eleazar had stopped glaring at him too, as an added bonus.
"I didn't mean to grab her so roughly; I kept thinking she was about to be burned." He picked at his fingers, watching the uneven cobble stones at our feet. The car beeped as I unlocked it, and he turned back to face me. "Your brother didn't seem upset with me at least."
Unable to resist a smile, I kissed his forehead. "He's lucky that she didn't actually hurt herself; he has no reason to be upset with you. About anything."
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Thankfully, most of Carlisle's symptoms eased after he'd taken the medication. The only downside was that it made him rather sleepy, but I was having problems seeing that as a disadvantage if it meant that I could keep him on the couch with me for the rest of the day. I kept him wrapped in a blanket while he tried not to fall asleep. "Feeling better?" I teased. The thought of having him away from me and in a new environment turned my stomach, and reminding myself that he was an adult really wasn't helping.
"Yeah," he mumbled. "I love you; thanks for looking after me."
"I love you too. Get some sleep before your big day tomorrow."