Thank you those who have left such kind reviews, and thank you to everyone who's still reading this after 82 chapters! As usual, I'll be back to fix any nasty grammar errors.
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I had a job interview. Finally. After weeks of trying. And I was shitting myself. I needed this job; we were floating along financially, but it was wearing Carlisle down, and he was starting to become a little frayed at the edges. He tried to work from home as much as he could, and he was slowly destroying his sleep schedule in favour of logging more hours on his projects. He really didn't want to leave the house anymore; every time I tried to get him to go anywhere with me, he'd have a headache, or his stomach would hurt, or his allergies would be playing up, or he'd be too tired. It was always something with him.
I really wanted that job. It was just another office job, but I didn't care so long as I had an income again. I'd scrape chewing gum off of footpaths if someone would hire me to do it. At least then I wouldn't be slowly murdering my boyfriend - fiance, rather.
The boy in question involuntarily smiled as I came into the kitchen. "You look really nice, Gar," he told me quietly, reaching up to smooth the collar of my shirt and straighten my tie once I was close enough. It had been so long since I'd needed to go to an interview like this - I'd worked for the same company pretty much since I left high school - and he seemed to know I was starting to lose my mind about this morning.
I pulled him into a hug, resting my chin on his shoulder. I didn't feel like I looked nice at all. I felt like a sausage stuffed into a sock that was several sizes too small. "What if they hate me? It's taken so long to get an interview; what if they don't want me, and I can't get another one?"
"They'll love you. Don't freak yourself out before you even get there," he soothed, leaning up on his toes to kiss me. "We're coping okay. If it doesn't work out, we'll be alright until something does."
"But what if they don't?" I pressed nervously. Mostly, I didn't want to disappoint him again; we were getting married for god's sake.
"Then I still will when you get home," he promised. His fingers moved to my hair, pulling me down for another kiss and effectively messing it up again. It was difficult to worry about that while he was so close to me, and I was suddenly finding it hard to care about much else.
"Carlisle, you're hurting yourself trying to keep us afloat. This can't keep going on." I pushed him up against the kitchen counter, lifting him slightly so that he could sit on the bench, and he wrapped his arms around my neck. "I just want to do something." Having my hands on him was making him smile again, and I couldn't help but start to mirror it.
"So long as you don't start pedalling essential oil or tupperware, I don't care what you do if you're happy, Gar," he teased, his smile growing as I groaned.
"I'm not going to join a pyramid scheme, Carlisle, don't worry," I laughed, unable to help rolling my eyes at him. It felt good to laugh, and the stupid joke had taken my mind of things for a couple of minutes which I was grateful for.
"Thank god. But you are going to be late, and that's really not going to make a good first impression if you have to explain to them that you weren't there on time because you were making out with your boyfriend." His hands trailed between my shoulders, rubbing the small of my back.
"I could think of worse reasons to be late." Slowly, I started to realise that he was dressed ready to go to work as well, and I felt a bit sick that he might not be home when I got back. That, and he hadn't gotten to bed before 3am and it was only 7:30. "How long do you have to be at the office today?" I frowned.
"I only need to print some stuff; I should be back by lunch time," he told me.
"You stayed up too late last night," I grumbled, kissing his forehead. "I don't want you to have to do that to yourself."
"I'll be okay; I can have a nap when I get back." Still, he was starting to look a little nervous now, fidgeting a bit. "I'll be home when you get back, if that's what you're worrying about."
"It kind of was, I don't want you to be wearing yourself out," I admitted.
"It's a couple of hours, and I'll be home again." He slid down off the bench, nudging me back a little so he could stand. "We both need to get going, though." Despite him turning away, I could see he was nervous again, and I felt a little bad that I'd brought it up now.
"Alright, Carlisle, I'll see you when I get back." I grabbed him again, forcing him into a hug before he could get too far away from me. "I love you."
"Love you too, husband," he teased back, already halfway out the door.
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Everything had gone badly since I'd left the house. My car had almost ran out of petrol, and I'd had to make an emergency detour in order to get gas. Then by the time I pulled up to the building I was almost late and there were no car parks anywhere. I ended up jogging from a block away and arriving a sweaty mess with just enough time to duck into the bathroom and splash some water over my face, trying to calm myself down. I sat down in the office and forced myself to take some deep breaths; I couldn't screw this up before I'd even told them my name.
"Garrett Parker?" The woman who called my name reminded me of Cruella de Vil, and the nerves instantly returned. Somehow my voice didn't break as I stood and greeted her. She led me back into an office, sitting next to another man behind a wide desk. I cautiously sat in the seat in front of him, trying to ignore my heart pounding so hard.
The two of them spent the next 45 minutes grilling me over what I could and couldn't do. It may have just been an office job, but it felt like they wanted me to have the skills of ten people just to answer phones all day. The pay was pretty minimal too. As much as I wanted a job, I wasn't sure that I wanted this job. It already felt like they weren't going to be civil to me as an employee, and I could already see my last situation repeating. I was already anxious about it.
By the time I walked out, I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't think they'd hated me, but they weren't thrilled with me either, and I didn't like them all that much. I'd be dumb to turn them down if they offered me a position though; I needed to get the pressure off of my boyfriend. The more I thought about it, the more wound up I got, and I was aware that I was behaving like a total nightmare by the time I got back to my car.
I really, really needed Carlisle to be back. I parked in a hurry and pretty much ran up the apartment block stairs, bursting in the front door after fumbling to get my key in the lock. His keys were on the table, and I breathed a sigh of relief. It took all of ten seconds for me to locate him on the couch where he'd managed to fall asleep. I flopped down in the seat next to him, taking his laptop off his knee and waking him up as I wrapped my arms around him. "Garrett," he mumbled in surprise, slipping his arms around my neck as I pulled him into my lap. "What's the matter?" He was already falling asleep again, cuddling into my chest and resting his head on my shoulder.
"It went okay, I think," I told him. I was finally able to regulate my breathing, and I slipped my hand under the back of his t-shirt, teasing the small of his back. "I just needed you."
"I told you I'd be here," he assured me. He barely was though; he was starting to pass out, his hold on me weakening again.
I lay down, pulling him on top of me and hiding my face in his shoulder. "I know. Did you get everything done that you needed to?"
Carlisle nodded. "Yeah." Still, he seemed a little disheartened, not really wanting to talk.
"You alright?" I asked. It was pretty clear I wasn't going to get a conversation out of him, as much as I wanted it.
"I don't feel so good, Gar; my head hurts," he admitted.
"You've barely had four hours sleep; what'd you expect?" I teased. I surrendered in my efforts of getting him to talk, settling for keeping him in my arms and turning on the TV. It was kind of my fault that he'd done that to himself anyway. I selfishly didn't keep the peace that long though. "Did you tell Alistair that you were going to propose?" I asked when he shifted slightly.
He hummed quietly in answer, not really listening to me at all.
I laughed, nudging him. "Did you tell Al?" I pressed again once he was a little more awake.
"Yeah, awhile ago," he mumbled tiredly. He shifted slightly, curling up against me and burying his face in my shirt.
"A while ago?" The immediate flush in his cheeks brought a smile to my face, and I leaned down to kiss his forehead.
"I got the ring a couple of weeks ago, but I was too scared to ask you, and then I thought maybe I could while we were at the beach, but you were upset, and I didn't want to push you while you weren't feeling good," he admitted, not thinking clearly about what he was saying.
I had to laugh. "I wanted to ask you, but I didn't know how. I wasn't sure if you were ready; I didn't want to freak you out."
He reached up to knot his fingers behind me neck, guiding my lips to his. "I was ready; this stuff isn't scary with you."
"Do you mind if I tell my family? Mum is going to be over the moon about it." Seeing my parents didn't seem so awful now that this had happened, and I couldn't wait to tell them. I couldn't wait to tell everyone. I'd already sent Riley an over-excited text, but he was the only one I'd said anything to so far.
"Tell whoever you want, Gar, I just want you to be happy." And to go back to sleep, apparently.
I left him alone, keeping one arm around his shoulders while I started to text my family. As I expected, mum wanted to see us, and I decided to sit on our news for a few more days until we saw each other. It didn't feel right telling her over the phone. I still couldn't believe this was actually happening.
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The email came in the morning I was supposed to meet my family. I knew without opening it that they didn't want me - who the hell receives a job offer over an email? When I did find the guts to open it, it was just a copy-and-pasted formal statement, thanking me for my application and wishing me better luck next time. My heart was beating too fast and I felt a bit sick. "They didn't want me," I mumbled to my boyfriend. Going to see my parents suddenly seemed like a horrible idea, and I wondered if it was too late for me to cancel. Unable to look up at him, I sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to lose his mind.
He was stumbling around the bedroom, clumsily pulling on clothing so that we could leave. "It's not the end of the world, Gar, it's just one job," he told me. His voice was soft as he sat down next to me, rubbing my arm and kissing me quickly.
"I know, but it's been weeks, Carlisle, and…" I trailed off, catching his hand.
"And we'll get there," he murmured. "But we're going to see your mum and dad today, don't worry about it right now." Giving me a gentle squeeze, he got up again and headed into the kitchen.
I forced myself to sit there and take a few deep breaths. He was right; I couldn't go sulking about this now, not today. Today was going to be happy. It didn't take much more than that to lift my spirits again, and I managed to get a little excited about it by the time I made it to the kitchen. I'd be perfectly fine by the time I'd had some caffeine.
Except in the 20 minutes it took me to make myself presentable, Carlisle had all but fallen asleep sitting at the table, having folded his arms against the wood and rested his head on them. I stopped in the doorway, my smile instantly wiped away. Maybe he was mad at me after all. "You okay?"
"Garrett, I don't feel that well, is it okay if I stay home?" he asked me nervously. Of course there was something the matter when we needed to go out. I was too happy to be mad at him, though; I couldn't wait to tell my family, and I felt like I might get away without having to say anything about my job, or lack of one. Besides, he probably was genuinely exhausted.
"Yeah, stay in bed if you're feeling crappy." The more I watched, the more I noticed that he didn't actually look that good. His cheeks were hot and flushed, and it looked like he had missed out on a year of sleep.
"Are you going to be upset if I don't come though?" he asked quietly, trying not to shiver under the hoodie he'd pulled on in an attempt to get dressed.
I leaned forward to kiss his forehead. "I'll be upset if you make yourself come when you know you need to be in bed," I told him, hugging his shoulders. "Go get some sleep, Carlisle, we can't have you getting sick." Besides, I was in too good of a mood to throw a tantrum over that.
"I'm sorry, Gar, I didn't want you to be by yourself when you told your family in case they freak out." He hugged my waist, squeezing me tightly.
"I don't think they're going to react badly; they love you," I reminded him. It confused me that he was back-tracking into that mindset again, and I hoped the god that it had nothing to do with the pressure he was under at the moment. "They love you as much as I do."
"I know, I just...I'm being dumb," he groaned. His voice was muffled by my chest, and I slowly rubbed his back.
"You okay, Carlisle?" I asked carefully. "You're not yourself."
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired, I guess," he sighed.
"Go back to bed, then, get some rest while you can." I slowly turned him around, nudging him toward the hallway. He needed to go now, or I was going to give up and stay home with him. "I'll make dinner when I get back, just go to sleep," I pleaded.
Thankfully, he surrendered and nodded. Weeks worth of stress wearing him down, he slunk back to bed, taking the cat.
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Too giddy to contain myself, it took all of three minutes for me to burst out with it once I'd gotten to mum and dad's place. My brother and Kate were there too, trying to give Carmen a break while she napped through a rough patch in her pregnancy. Eleazar was in a bad mood, but I really didn't care. I'd been fidgeting with my ring under the table since we sat down and it seemed especially heavy around my finger. "Carlisle and I are engaged," I told them, unable to wipe the grin off of my face.
Mum was suddenly hugging me, happy tears dribbling down her cheeks while dad and Eleazar congratulated me. I'd never thought that I'd be sitting in my childhood home announcing to my parents that I was marrying a guy a few years ago, but it seemed perfect now. And neither of them seemed disapproving, thank god. Dad's smile was so wide that it was going to make his face hurt. "How'd you ask him?" he asked.
"Actually...he asked me. We went hiking in the weekend, and he asked me when we stopped for a break." It wasn't the details they wanted, I knew, but it was all I wanted to share with them; I selfishly wanted to keep that moment just for us. It may not have been as over the top and 'exciting' as the couples who got married at DisneyLand or whatever, but it was everything I wanted and summed the two of us up nicely.
"Where is he? We were looking forward to seeing both of you," mum asked. I hadn't told them before I'd turned up that it was only me coming, and I realised that it was probably a little odd that he wasn't there while we were announcing our engagement.
"He wasn't feeling well, so in bed, hopefully," I told them sheepishly. Under the table, I pulled out my phone, quickly sending the boy in question a text to make sure that he was actually okay. His lack of response had me hoping that he'd fallen asleep.
"You can't get married! There won't a bride!" Kate announced, giggling as she scrambled to get in my lap. It had been a while since I'd last seen her, and she'd been clingy since I'd walked in the door. I really needed to spend more time with her; I used to see her at least once a week and pick her up from school sometimes, but that had gradually stopped once I'd become really involved with my boyfriend. I reached down to scoop her up before she hurt herself climbing on me. She was unbearably wriggly and getting too big to be held, but it was still nice to have her in my arms. She was as close to a daughter as I was going to get.
Eleazar rubbed his hand over his face as I looked at him for an answer, not really sure how to explain our relationship to her. Eventually, he managed to take a quick jab at me. "Uncle Garrett can be the bride, Kate," he told her. His grin made it abundantly clear he was baiting me.
"He can't wear a dress!" she continued innocently. I just took a sip of my drink to avoid laughing.
"He'll look great in a dress," he said matter of factly, throwing a glance in my direction. His daughter was giggling and shaking her head at him. He faked a frown. "You're right; Carlisle is much prettier."
"I'm going to tell him you said that," I grumbled, feigning annoyance. Mostly, I was just glad that everything had gone over so well; Kate's confusion was something I could live with.
Mum's fingernails were suddenly digging into my bicep. "You two could have Katie as a flower girl, wouldn't that be cute?"
"Good luck getting her to stay in a dress that long," I teased, giving her a quick squeeze.
"Where is the wedding going to be? Have you set a date?" She pressed on. Having all of her excitable attention focused on me was a little overbearing, and I found myself keeping my niece between the two of us.
"Uh, we haven't really talked about any of that; we've been engaged for less than a week, and we've both been distracted," I told her, trying to get her to restrain some of that emotion.
Eleazar snorted, a smirk slipping across his face. "I bet you two have."
I kicked him under the table to silence him, but it didn't wipe away his grin. It shut mum up for a bit, and dad groaned; as much as they liked Carlisle, they obviously didn't want to think of us like that. Thank god. "How's Carmen?" I asked to make him drop it.
"We found out we're having another girl, but Kate's driving her crazy; she can't keep up now that she's gotten bigger, and she's tired all the time," Eleazar groaned, rubbing his hands across his face. "I don't think we anticipated how much harder pregnancy was going to be now that we've already got a child; I'm going to have to hire a nanny or something to pick Kate up after school just to give her a break."
"Poor thing, is she still working?" my mother asked. "I wish we lived closer, El, we would have loved to have Katie over for a couple of hours every day."
"Yeah, she doesn't get maternity leave for another couple of months," he sighed.
"I can...I can pick her up and drop her off," I murmured during a pause in the conversation. I sat tensely while I waited for someone's reaction, but Eleazar just groaned again.
"No, if anyone's taking time off work to deal with this, it's me. She's my kid," he grumbled, shaking his head at me.
I swallowed thickly. "I won't have to; I'm not working at the moment," I mumbled, partly hoping they wouldn't overhear.
The dreaded question came next. "Why not?"
"Because I...I lost my job, and I'm having problems getting another one," I admitted.
"Then how are you and Carlisle getting on?" he asked. His frown only deepened, and he exchanged a glance with mum and dad.
I didn't look up from the table. "We're struggling a little, but Carlisle's working a bit extra, and we're managing okay. I may as well run around after Kate; it'll give me something to do other than sit at home."
"How long ago did all this happen?" Dad looked a little disappointed, and I barely swallowed the lump in my throat.
"Uh, almost a month now, I think," I admitted.
"Why didn't you tell us, honey? Is Carlisle coping okay with all this?" mum pressed. She stretched across the table to touch my hand, and I couldn't decide whether or not I was glad that my boyfriend wasn't part of this meeting. I barely resisted pulling away from her touch.
"It's kind of embarrassing; I'm 27 and can't support myself. And yeah, he's being wonderful about everything, but I'm scared he's going to burn himself out; he's run down already, and I don't want him to get sick from all of this," I rambled. Saying it out loud made the fear more real, and I felt even more shitty about it. "Do you want me to get Kate?" I asked, trying to push the conversation back somewhere comfortable.
"That would be amazing," Eleazar agreed. "At least until you are working again."
"I wanna stay with you again," Kate whined at me, twisting around on my lap to wrap her arms around my neck. She already begged me to bring the kitten with me to lunch - not happening - and I was fairly certain that was more of an incentive for her to want to come over than her actually wanting to see me. That, and she still thought Carlisle's accent was fun when he read to her, despite knowing him a year and a half.
"I'm sure we can arrange that," I promised her. She really was a cute kid, when she wanted to be.
I stayed with my family for a few hours after lunch before deciding it was time to head back home. I got hugs from everyone, peeled my niece off of my legs, and made for the door. Unexpectedly, Eleazar followed me out, leaving his daughter in the lounge with my parent's.
"I love you, Garrett." My brother forced me into a hug on the front steps, and I scrambled to remember when the last time we'd said that to each other was. "Let me know if you guys get into any trouble."
"Thanks, El, love you too," I mumbled into his shoulder. "Carlisle didn't dump me, so that's the worst case scenario crossed out." It was supposed to be a joke, but neither of us so much as smiled.
"Yeah, well, he is marrying you, but you're welcome to spend some time at our place if anything happens between you two." He must have seen the look on my face, because he quickly back-tracked. "I'm not saying that I think it will - but if it ever did."
I nodded, not even wanting to consider it; I didn't know what I would do without him.