Shortish chapter this time

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A swell of relief washed over me when I opened the door to find my boyfriend asleep on the couch. The lights were on, the TV was playing, and the kitchen was a complete mess, but I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him; he'd eaten and was finally getting some rest. Christ, even his laptop had been abandoned on the kitchen table. Thank god; the poor boy needed a decent rest.

I tiptoed around the chaos on the countertop to put away the leftover food - somehow Fox hadn't touched it yet - and flicked off a couple of the bulbs in the longue to dim the lighting. All this time I'd been against him ruining his back by sleeping there, but I didn't dare move him now; it didn't matter if it meant he could rest.

Going to bed without anyone to hold felt strange for me though. Like the bed was suddenly hollow, and I was suddenly an insomniac. Half an hour passed, and then another, and another, and it was this exhausted stupor that led to me sitting at the kitchen table again, sending my resume to a bunch of jobs I either didn't want or would never get with my lack of qualification.

Cool hands against my face woke me up again, and I realised I'd fallen asleep at there. "Bed time," Carlisle mumbled to me. "What are you doing?"

I caught his hand, kissing the back of it. "I couldn't sleep without you, and I didn't want to wake you up," I admitted.

He reached over my shoulder to take hold of my mouse, shutting the computer down as he started to tease me. "You were sleeping just fine right now. Come lie down with me?"

At least I wasn't the only one who was ridiculous about being apart. I wrapped my arms around him as I stood, pulling him into my chest and burying my face in his shoulder. "Yeah. You feeling okay?"

"Just tired." His lips were against my neck and he was lightly fidgeting with my hair, his body warm against mine as he cuddled into me. "Did you parents take the news alright? I'm sorry you had to be by yourself; I should have been with you."

"They were happy for us, Carlisle, it was fine. I told them about my job as well, and I'm going to babysit Kate after school for a while for Eleazar," I told him. My hands drifted to his waist, pushing his t-shirt up a little to feel his skin against mine. "I still can't believe it's actually happening...that we're actually getting married."

Smiling now, he kissed me firmly. "I love you; let's go to bed."

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Kate started spending most afternoons after school at our apartment. Carlisle helped her with her homework while I cooked, and I'd usually take her out to the park for an hour so that he could continue his own work in peace and quiet. It was nice, having her childish energy at the table while I made dinner. I liked the easy routine we'd developed over the last couple of weeks. A lot. Too much.

Seeming as I was at home so much, I piled all my energy into making our meals. It was something I'd always done before I'd found myself in a relationship, when I'd had far too much time to dwell on everything that was wrong with my life. It broke up the monotony of sitting at home all day, and made the time when Carlisle needed to be in the office more tolerable. He avoided going as much as he could, and I couldn't figure out whether he really didn't want to leave me by myself all day - the excuse he gave me - or whether leaving the house truly made him so nervous he got ill. All I got was hostility when I ask, and I'd quickly dropped it. I could be content with making fancy condiments if it meant we wouldn't fight. Still, he never came out with Kate and I, and point-blank refused to go to the supermarket with me unless I grovelled. God help him when he had to go across town with his manager to meet a client - he'd well and truly lost his shit that morning. I was getting a little frustrated; he wouldn't do anything but work, whether it was in the company premises or at our kitchen table.

He'd been home all day with me today. His need to be close to me seemed to have intensified, and he'd abandoned his computer to stand with me at the kitchen sink. "You want me to cut something, or…?" he asked awkwardly, watching me chop vegetables. His eyes traced the movement of my knife, and he winced a little as I brought it down too hard against the chopping board, making a loud bang.

I almost told him it was fine, that I was happy, but I caught the look on his face; he looked upset at the thought of being rejected. "You can peel the vegetables, if you want?"

He nodded and offered a small smile. Shuffling closer to me, he dug the peeler out of the drawer, slowly dragging it down the carrots and dumping the peels into an old plastic bag. "Is Kate coming this afternoon?"

I was sure that he already knew that, but couldn't figure out what he was actually getting at. "Yeah, I'm picking her up at three. I don't think we'll be doing much outside this afternoon, though." It was pouring out there, and I could hear the rain pummeling the pavement despite being several stories up. We hadn't even been able to crack a window without the wind freezing our apartment this morning.

"What are we having for dinner tonight?"

I told him, glancing at him while he was preoccupied. Something was definitely up. "What's the matter?" Snatching the teatowel, I quickly dried my hands, leaning my hip against the counter to face him.

He kept slowly working away at the carrots, prolonging the task so he didn't have to directly respond to me. "Nothing, really," he mumbled eventually.

"Carlisle, I love you, but you're going to have to talk to me; I'm not a mind reader," I bluntly point out.

"I don't know, Gar," he argued.

"Why don't you come and pick up Kate with me today?" It'd do him some good to take a break from whatever it was that was stressing him out, and I needed to leave in half an hour.

He shook his head. "I'll get carsick."

"It's a twenty minute drive; you're not going to get sick." I barely resisted rolling my eyes. The excuse didn't even make sense.

"I got sick from the bus last time I went to work, and that's only ten minutes," he pleaded with me, his face starting to get warm.

"What's this really about?" A sigh hissed between my teeth, and shifted my weight to try and disperse some of the tension in my body. There was a tight pause where he didn't answer me. "Is this because of me not working? Because of Alistair? Not liking your job? Stress? Kate being here? Jesus, do you not like the food? You have to tell me, Carlisle, or we're not going to be able to fix it." I tried not to let my temper get out of hand, but it was getting that way.

"I don't know- I don't know, Garrett, I just feel like shit all the time, and going out makes it worse. I really don't want to go in the car; I'm so tired, and it's going to make me sick. I don't know what's wrong with me." His cheeks were really burning now, and he'd tried to turn away from me.

"I think you're just pushing yourself too hard." All the annoyance drained out of me just like that. I cautiously pulled him into a hug, slowly rubbing his back as his breath caught. "I'm sorry." The more he leaned against me, the more I realised that he was actually a little too warm, thought I couldn't tell if the flush in his face was due to anything other than emotion.

"I don't feel good," he mumbled into me.

"Are you going to be okay with Kate here?" There wasn't much of a choice considering how little time there was if he wanted me to make other plans, but I probably could just stay with her at Eleazar's place if I really had to. I snuck my hand up, trying to let my fingers brush his forehead as inconspicuously as possible.

"Yeah, it's alright."

I couldn't tell if that was a lie or not.

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As I waited for my niece at the school gates, I tried to figure out what the hell was up with my boyfriend. I didn't get long to dwell on it; Kate ran out of the building, babbling gibberish about her day as she threw herself into my arms. She seemed to enjoy the novelty of me getting her every day. Scooping her up, I carried her back to my car, getting her buckled in and settled so I could drive and we could both get out of the weather.

"Can I feed Fox?" she asked immediately. That was her new thing. All she had to do was put a scoop of biscuits in the cat's dish, but it seemed to make her feel like a grown up, and Fox's purring appreciation always had her beaming with pride. The little things.

"Of course you can, katie." Carlisle always saved the job for her anyway, since he knew she liked it.

"I wish mummy would have a kitty instead of a baby, I don't want a sister," she grumbled to me.

I barely swallowed a laugh. "I don't think there's much chance of that, Kate."

"I wanna live with you; Carlisle and Foxie are cool," she announced. Realistically, she got homesick and tearful if she had to stay with me for more than two nights, but I had to love six year old logic.

"I'll talk to your dad, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you and Fox had a couple of sleepovers," I promised. Once the baby was born, I was pretty sure Eleazar and Carmen would jump at the chance for a break. We drove home, and she barrelled up our apartment building steps, knocking on our front door until I unlocked it and let her in. She immediately charged in to pat the cat, and then ran to hug Carlisle, her bag dropping to the floor.

He instinctively picked her up, giving me a very forced smile when our eyes met. "What are we doing today?" he asked her. He took her to sit at the table, watching me as I picked up her stuff from the middle of the kitchen before one of us fell over it.

"Maths!" she announced proudly.

"Everything okay?" I asked him quietly. Although I hadn't been gone long, he seemed far more agitated than he had when I'd left, and my niece's noise wasn't helping. I touched his shoulder and he ducked his head to avoid me.

"Yeah."

"Good." A bundle of newspapers and flyers was sitting on the edge of the table next to them, and I sat down to start thumbing through them. As Kate continued to prattle, I wondered how much Carlisle was going to take until he'd had enough, seeming as he couldn't get away from her today - the weather hadn't relented. His responses were mostly nodded agreement and quiet hums, and she was pouting at his lack of energy. Her gaze eventually wandered from her homework, seeming as he wasn't invested in teaching her, landing on what I was looking at. She watched me thumb through the flyers for a few minutes until something caught her eye.

"Can we go get a christmas tree again this year?" she asked, reaching over to try and grab the advert to point it out to me.

Immediately triggered, Carlisle leaned back in his seat. "It's September," he grumbled. "It's too early."

"It's just a tree, Carlisle, I thought we got over this last year."

He got up so suddenly it made both of us jump, the feet of his chair screeching against the linoleum. "It's fucking September." His harsh tone was followed by the abrupt slam of our bedroom door.

I could have slammed my head into the table when Kate immediately started sniffing and whining. "Dammit, Carlisle," I groaned under my breath, getting up to pick her up. As soon as I touched her, she was bawling, sobbing into my shoulder as I tried to soothe her. It took all of a minute before my jacket was covered in snot. Great.

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"What the hell was that?" I shut the door behind me, leaning my back against it as I shook my head at him, furious.

"I didn't mean to make her cry, Gar, I-"

"You can't yell at a child, Carlisle, and slamming doors isn't exactly setting a great example either! And watch your mouth; don't swear in front of her," I snapped back.

"I wasn't yelling at her; I love her." He was quiet for a moment, fidgeting uncomfortably. "I'm sorry."

"You weren't the one who had to spend half an hour calming her down!" Frustrated, I just needed someone to vent at, and unfortunately, that person was going to be him.

"I couldn't, Garrett!" he shot back. "I'm sorry, I don't know what else you want me to do."

"I want to know why you thought it was okay to speak like that around her! What's wrong with you? She's six!" I took a step toward him, ignoring when he flinched back.

The words wouldn't come out when he stammered to answer me. "I know it was wrong and I'm sorry, Garrett. I'm just stressed and not feeling well, and things have been hard lately, and-"

"I don't care! You're an adult, Carlisle, I don't care how hard things are for you; never speak to her like that again! You are not using the 'I had a rough childhood' excuse as a reason to make upsetting my family okay - I don't want to hear it. Stop being so fucking awkward and get over it." Beyond pissed and ready to do something I'd regret later, I stalked back out the door, going over to my niece, who'd managed to settle in front of the TV. "Come on, Katie, let's get you home, since Carlisle can't be nice." I knew damn well he could hear our conversation, and sure as hell didn't care.

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"I know it was wrong and I didn't mean to upset her and I'm sorry," he burst out as soon as I was in the door.

"I know," I sighed, not entirely ready to forgive him yet.

"I'm sorry, Garrett," he pleaded again.

"I heard you the first time, Carlisle," I reminded him sharply.

"What do you want me to do then? I-I need you- I need you to not be mad at me," he pleaded. "Please, Gar, I don't know how to fix it."

"How about you shut the fuck up and give me some space?" I snapped. "Don't pounce on me the moment I get in the door, I don't want to look at you right now." Having someone to yell at may have lower my level of frustration, but I knew the tantrum I was throwing was disproportionate to what he'd actually done.

He misinterpreted what I'd said, barely holding back on coming tears. "O-okay, I can go," he said softly, his voice shaking. His hands trembled as he picked up his keys and made for the front door.

"Wait, Carlisle, no, I didn't mean space like that," I corrected quickly. "I didn't mean leave. We're fighting, not breaking up. Jesus." Internally, I was praying that he wasn't about to cry; I didn't feel like dealing with any more meltdowns right then. Not while I was mad at him. "You can't walk out just because we had an argument. Don't be dumb."

"You just said you wanted space! I'm trying to give you space!" he exploded at me. "You said you didn't want to see me, so I was leaving! We live together, how else are you supposed to get away from me?"

"I don't know! For fucks sake, where do you think you're going to go anyway? The weather is shitty and Alistair is gone; there's no one you can go crying to anyway, I doubt Edward wants to hear it and he lives on the other side of town," I snapped.

"What do you want me to do then?" He was still yelling at me, and I really didn't appreciate it.

I groaned, stalking away from him to go and sit on the couch. "I don't care, Carlisle, just stop being difficult and shut up."

"You're an asshole." He retreated again - down the hallway this time, instead of trying to escape.

"That's mature," I grumbled.

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