I'll be back to fix my nasty grammer!
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"Are we okay?" He picked at his fingers until he drew blood, fingernails destroying otherwise perfect skin. We hadn't spoken to each other since the fight, and he'd slept on the couch again as opposed to coming to joining me in bed last night. The whole house was horribly tense. I just wanted this to be over. "If I try and apologise, are you going to yell at me again?"
I glanced over at him as he leaned on the doorframe. It looked like he'd slept about as well as I had; we needed to put this behind us before we both went nuts "We're okay. I'm sorry for talking to you like that; that wasn't fair."
"Can I…?" He edged closer, obviously wanting to sit with me again.
I really missed him. Really, really missed him. "Yeah; come here." I held out my hand, relief crashing over me as he threaded my fingers together and gingerly settled on the couch. It didn't take long for any hard feelings to dissolve. "I missed you."
"Me too; I feel really bad for upsetting Kate, was she okay yesterday?" He squeezing my hand like he'd never get to hold it again, the circulation in my fingers being cut off as I rubbed the back of his palm with my thumb. I really hadn't meant to scare him to the extent that he thought we were done, and I was pretty sure I felt as terrible as he did about the whole thing. "I'm so sorry about everything."
"She's six; she'd forgotten about it by the time I got her half way home. She got a fright, but she didn't care once she calmed down," I assured him. I wriggled my hand free of his, wrapping my arm around him instead. "She still loves you. I doubt she even remembers, honestly."
He groaned and buried his face in my chest, his fingers resting on my thigh. "I'm still sorry. I don't know why I reacted like that; I promise I'm not usually like that-"
"Carlisle, we've been together for almost two years; I know you're great with her normally. It's alright - we just need to get past this now. We're both sorry, and we can't keep going around in circles like this." I leaned my head back against the couch, rubbing his shoulder as I stared at the ceiling. This really, really sucked. "You still have to talk to me, though. I need to know what's happening in your head."
Quiet for a moment, he slowly trailed his fingertips up and down my forearm, the touch tickling as much as it was comforting. "I'm so tired, Garrett, I don't know what to do. It feels like I sleep but it doesn't make anything better, and it's making me crazy."
A sigh hissed between my teeth. "I know; I just wish someone would hire me, and then this would be over."
Fidgeting, he dug out his phone, pulling up the joint bank account that all of our bills came out of. "We're fine, Garrett. Rent and everything came out for the month yesterday, and we're managing okay." We were doing surprisingly well, considering. "I think the company is still paying me to keep my mouth shut.."
"Financially, maybe, but you're not okay," I grumbled. "And I don't think they are; you've been bending over backwards for them." They certainly hadn't given him an easy pass; I knew learning how to use the new software had been stressing him out, and they seemed to be shoving projects at him left, right and center.
"Yeah, but I'm not stressed about the money. It's not that; I just feel awful all the time."
"You're still overworked." It was no wonder he was sharp yesterday. Bringing a child into the mix certainly wasn't helping things; I was going to have to work something else out with Eleazar rather than having Kate here. "Are you feeling okay right now?" I asked softly, risking pressing a kiss against his cheek.
"Yeah, I'm good so long as we're not fighting anymore."
"I love you." I felt horrible about some of the stuff I'd said to him last night, but I didn't think bringing it up was going to help either of us. Instead, I just kept my arm around him, tracing circles on his bicep with my fingertips, happy to have him cuddled into me again. "I'll take Kate back to Eleazar's place after school, and you can rest. We should have talked about it before I offered for her to come here."
He nodded tiredly. "Okay, Gar. Sorry for ruining it."
"Stop it, enough of that."
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The two of us had taken a nap after lunch, and I groaned when my alarm went off. I needed to leave in a couple of minutes or I'd be late getting my niece, but my boyfriend was wrapped around me, not deterred by the shrill sound. It was comforting after we'd fought. "I gotta get up," I reminded him, pressing a quick kiss against his cheek. His arms tightened around my waist as I started to shuffle out from under him. "Carlisle."
"Don't go just yet; stay here," he mumbled, turning his face so that his voice was muffled by my shoulder. He was holding a fistful of my shirt against my stomach, passive resistance. "Please don't get up…"
"I have to; I need to get Kate," I chuckled. "I'll be back in a couple of hours." I traced his spine with my fingertips, rubbing the small of his back. I was sure the workload was getting to his head; he was far more clingy that he used to be. I didn't think he hated having me home with him all day either - when we were being nice to each other, at least. "Do you want to come for a drive? Come with me?"
That scared him off. He released me and opted to wrap his arms around the pillows instead, shaking his head. "I'll just stay here."
I sighed and sat up. "I can call Carmen, and-"
"Just go, Garrett," he groaned. That was the end of it; he was dragging the blankets of his head and disappearing out of my site, curling up.
I watched him for a second before giving up. "I'll be back before five," I told him. Finding clean clothes was harder than appreciated, and I quickly realised we were both fucking disgusting and really needed to do some laundry. It would have to wait until I got back though. And I still needed to cook dinner. It seemed cruel to ask Carlisle to do it after the conversation we'd just had.
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I drove in silence to get my niece. Everything on the radio was irritating, and it was raining so hard that my window wipers were struggling to clear that amount of water. I decided to go in to get her and risk being the creepy uncle; the likelihood of her having taken an umbrella with her was pretty low, and I didn't want her getting cold.
I waited for the bell to ring before appearing in her line of sight. Her face lit up and she rushed to see me, jumping into my arms. "Hey, Katie." The teacher was watching us, and I offered her an awkward smile, lifting the child to get her weight against me more comfortably. "I'm her uncle," I said dumbly.
The woman nodded. "Eleazar said you were picking her up for the time being. Garrett, isn't it?" She drifted closer, presumably to talk to me, but Kate was asking about Fox and icecream, and she wasn't about to be getting a word in edgewise. "She's a good kid," she told me instead.
I nodded. "She tries hard." I edged toward the door, just wanting to get back to the car so I could get rid of my wet coat. It was getting cold and uncomfortable.
"Will it be you or her parents that come to her parent-teacher conference?" the teacher asked.
I rubbed Kate's back, trying to get her to settle a little before I ended up dropping her. "Uh, I'm not sure; I'll talk to her mother about it. Is everything alright?"
"Yes, it's just to discuss her progress. Whoever is has been helping her with her homework after school as been doing her wonders." From her expression, I could tell that she thought that person was me, but I wasn't about to take credit for it while I was actually an incompetent idiot.
"Oh, um, that's my partner, actually," I corrected carefully. "They've been spending time together."
"Carlisle's got cool words!" Kate told her. I almost slammed my head into a wall as the woman's face reddened a little - I hope this wasn't going to cause trouble for me or Kate in the future. At least there was obviously no hard feelings between him and my niece.
"He's British," I explained through my teeth. "She likes his accent a lot, and he reads to her. He's been teaching her for as long as she'll listen to him."
She just laughed, thank god, despite looking a little uncomfortable. "Well, he's been good for her." One of the other children demanded her attention, and I took the opportunity to say goodbye and enclose Kate in my jacket. We were assaulted by the weather as soon as we stepped outside, and I awkwardly hobbled with her to the car to get out of it. Fuck me, that kid was growing.
"I'm taking you back home today," I told her. I ignored her bottom lip sticking out, not in the mood for her to throw a fit. "I'll still look after you, though."
"Don't want to," she grumbled. "I want to play with Fox!"
"You've got homework to do, and Carlisle's busy. You can visit the cat another day." I silenced her as she huffed about it; I was not dealing with a tantrum in the car. It was enough to deter her into settling.
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Carmen opened the door for us when we arrived. "Hey, Garrett, thanks so much for getting her," she sighed tiredly. It had been a few weeks since I'd last seen her, and she looked awful, drawn out and exhausted.
I found myself pulling her into a hug before I could stop myself. "Are you okay? El said you were having a rough time."
"This pregnancy has been hell," she sighed. "Eleazar is doing his best, but things are still difficult while he's working full time and we have a child."
"The baby is okay?" The feeling had drained from my limbs at the thought of them losing it, and I squeezed her a little tighter.
"Yeah, she's fine," she assured me. She led me back inside and I followed her to the kitchen. She'd gotten as far as thawing the meat for dinner, but hadn't cooked it yet, and last night's dishes still sat in the sink. "Sorry everything is a mess; I can't keep on top of everything, and then with Katie, it's…" She trailed off, her cheeks pink with obvious embarrassment.
"Let me make you a cup of tea, Carmen, you look terrible," I told her.
"I can't have you serving me in my own home," she laughed. "You're looking after my kid; I should be making you tea."
I rolled my eyes at her. "Come and sit down. Carlisle wants to sleep anyway; I'll drive him nuts if I'm at home crashing around." I ushered her into their lounge and switched on the TV, planting Kate in front of it and giving Carmen the remote to find them something to watch. "Stay put, Katie, and I'll bring you a snack." The bribery worked instantly, and she surrendered her protest immediately.
Still, by the time I brought in the hot drink, my sister in-law had fallen asleep and my niece was glued to the screen. I handed her a sandwich and set the mug on the table, instructing her to be good. Yeah right. I'd just finished piling the dishes into the dishwasher when she charged back in. I barely resisted groaning.
"I want to help!" she announced proudly.
Leaning over the counter, I peeked around the corner to make sure she hadn't woken her mother up. "Fine, but you have to be quiet, okay? You can wash the vegetables for me." They were already fucking washed. Still, I sat her on the bench and filled it with cold water, dumping the already clean potatoes in there and hoping it might keep her entertained while I at least cooked the meat.
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It took twice as long as normal to get dinner in the oven with a kid in the kitchen. I'd just managed to get rid of the rubbish and the dishes when Eleazar got home from the day, and he snorted at the sight of me trying to contend with Kate. "You weren't the house wife I was expecting to come home to," he told me, grinning.
I shrugged. "Carlisle said I'd look cute in a maid's outfit."
"Don't put that thought in my head," he groaned. His daughter was already swinging off him, and I wondered if he was regretting having another child now. He fought her off so that he could pick her up to hug her. "Thanks for getting her from school. Did you cook as well? Do we really look like we're struggling that much?"
"I didn't want Carmen to faint with exhaustion. Or for you to cry over a cockroach when you tried to clean the kitchen," I teased. "And yeah, you both look like shit."
He pulled me into a one armed hug. "I always knew you were my favorite brother."
"I'm your only brother." Biting back my smile, I shoved him off me. "Do you want me to go to the parent-teacher thing at school? The teacher asked me today about it."
Eleazar groaned again. "Shit, I forgot about that. It's next week, do you mind?"
"What the hell else am I going to be doing, El? I'll go; I'm going nuts at home." I dried my hands off on the teatowel, trying to brace myself for going back out into the weather to get home.
He grabbed my arm before I got very far. "Don't you want to stay for dinner? You cooked it."
I shook my head. "I promised Carlisle I'd be back in a couple of hours, and I'm already late."
"How are things with you two?" he asked, suddenly awkward and shuffling his feet.
I silently debated whether to tell him the truth or not. "We're okay now, but we had a bad argument last night. I think the stress is getting to him, whether he wants to admit it or not. He keeps pushing himself really hard to keep us afloat, and it's hurting him."
The look on his face assured me I was going to hate whatever he was about to suggest. "Carmen and I talked about it, and what if we paid you for babysitting Kate? It would help you guys as much as you've been helping us."
My stomach squirmed uncomfortably. "You're family, Eleazar, I've always looked after her. I can't let you do that."
"You haven't had to run around after her this much before, and you just said that Carlisle was stressed," he reminded me. "Please, Garrett. I know you don't like the thought of it, but if not for yourself, take it for your boyfriend's wellbeing?" He was blocking the doorway, stopping me from going out.
"Are you going to let me leave if I say no?" I sighed, already seeing where this was going. It would help, and as awkward as it made me feel, it would stop Carlisle breaking his neck.
He shook his head. "Please just take it, Garrett. It's not forever."
Groaning through my teeth, I knew I really had to. "Okay, El. But I really need to get home."
My brother pulled me into another hug. "Drive safe, Gar."
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I didn't think Carlisle really heard me when I told him. He just stared blankly through me, his eyes glassy and unfocused. "Are you coming to bed?" he asked, his voice shaking a little. His question had absolutely no context to what we were talking about before, despite me standing in the bedroom doorway.
"I have to make dinner, Carlisle," I reminded him. "I'm late, but I'm not that late."
It took him a moment to answer me. "Can't we just order take-out?" His fingers fidgeted with the blankets, slowly gather fistfuls of the duvet as he sat cross legged on the mattress. He'd pushed his laptop away when I'd come in, hopeful I'd come back and lie down obviously.
That did actually sound good. I couldn't really be bothered cooking a second meal today, and we hadn't pulled food out of the freezer to eat. "If you want, but I still need to clean up as well."
He shut down the computer and got up, quickly stumbling around the bedroom and shoving all of our washing into a basket to get rid of it. His movements were shaky and off balance, and I grabbed his shoulders to steady him as he passed me. "I can do this and clean the kitchen if you'll order the food and vacuum?" he asked again.
"I think you should sit down," I told him, briefly holding my palm against his forehead. His skin was cold and clammy, and the colour was draining from his cheeks.
"I want to help," he mumbled, shaking free of me and heading down the hallway to get to the washing machine.
I knew when there was no point in arguing with him. I quickly placed a phone order for chinese and set about digging the hoover out of the closet. It didn't take me long to finish - our apartment was only small - but my boyfriend was still halfway through scrubbing the plates. Capturing the teatowel, I put away what he'd finished, standing beside him to rub the small of his back as he tried to clean the rest. "What's the matter? And don't say you're okay, because you look like you're about to drop dead."
"I have a headache, and the painkillers aren't helping," he mumbled. "I just want to sit with you for a bit; I'm really cold and I can't get warm."
Suddenly feeling bad, I slid my hand around his waist, turning him to face me so I could hug him properly. "Leave the dishes, then, we can deal with them tomorrow." I slowly led him back to our bedroom, crawling into bed and pulling him after me. "I wouldn't have let you get up if you'd told me you weren't good."
He automatically melted as soon as I touched him, only briefly disturbed when I had to get up get our food at the door. He watched me settle with a frown on his face.
"What?" I pressed. I reached over to squeeze his hand when he hesitated to respond. "Communication, Carlisle. I need you to talk to me."
He swallowed thickly, surrendering. "I feel sick, and I don't know if I can keep that down if I eat; my head really hurts."
I almost groaned. Not this again. "I can eat in the kitchen if you think you're going to puke."
"I'll be okay, I think I'll just have mine later." He forced a smile, his fingers sneaking onto my leg.
I leaned over to kiss his forehead. "Try and get some sleep. I'll eat at the table and put yours in the fridge."
"Come to bed after?" he asked again, trying and failing at hiding the pleading in his voice.
I kissed him again. "I promise, Carlisle."
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I was three mouthfuls from finishing when I heard him throw up. I cut off a grumble in my throat, reminding myself that he was an adult and was quite capable of caring for himself. Still, I quickly shovelled my food down my throat and dumped the dishes with the rest of them. He'd found his way back to bed and fallen under the covers by the time I got to him, pale and looking uncomfortable. "Hey, we just got over a stomach bug, you can't get sick again," I murmured, sitting on the bed beside him to brush my fingers through his hair. I pressed my hand against his forehead as he groaned.
"Sorry, Gar, I don't think it's a virus or anything, it's just my head," he mumbled into the pillows. The lighting in the room was dim to begin with, but he was cringing away like it was fucking beaming.
Kissing his cheek, I quickly got up to turn the lights off, pulling the curtains completely closed. "Are you going to be sick again?" I kept rubbing his back, not really believing him as he shook head. He was well and truly fucked.
"Please come to bed?" he pleaded again. "Please, Gar?"
"Yeah." Against my better judgement, I stripped down to my underwear and lay down beside him, rolling him into me. "Tell me if you're going to be sick, please don't vomit on me," I whispered to him. He immediately buried his face in shoulder, wrapping his arms around my waist. "I love you. I'm still sorry for saying all that to you last night. It's no wonder you have a headache."
It was only from him wincing that I remembered that perhaps talking wasn't the best idea right then. "Love you too," he whispered back.
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Kate desperately wanted Carlisle to come to meet her teacher with me. Except Carlisle had barely made it two steps out of bed that morning before starting to faint, and had been confined to the blankets for the rest of the day. I was not risking him flaking in the middle of an elementary school.
After my niece had shown me everything she wanted to, she'd been sent to play with the other children while I spoke with her teacher. The woman - who's name I'd learned to be Heidi - seemed overly enthusiastic. Her perfume was distracting as she leaned over the desk to show me something, and I had to force myself not to stare as her clothing shifted, keeping eye contact with her instead. She was nice. Overbearing, but nice. Her hands brushed mine every time she passed me something, and she laughed at all the stupid jokes I had, and I knew it was all wrong.
But maybe it wasn't. Maybe I was just at a normal teacher conference about my niece, and she wasn't flirting with me, and I wasn't flirting back. If Carlisle had the energy, I was pretty sure he'd kick my ass over this.
"Would you mind if I got your number, Garrett? You know, in case Kate ever needs to come home and I need to call you." My heart did this stupid skipping thing when she winked at me, and I found myself recieting it before I was ready too. But this was for Kate, not because I wanted to text her later. It was nothing I had to tell my boyfriend about, anyway.
I wasn't sure if I was disappointed or relieved when a group of kids burst in the door, interrupting us as she perched on the edge of her desk with her hand resting over mine. I felt my face get warm as I gathered Kate and dropped her off home, smiling for my brother and relaying to him almost everything that she'd said to me.
I felt even more like an asshole when I got home and saw how miserable my poor fiance was. Fuck, I was an idiot.
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