.
.
"God, Garrett, I really don't feel great," he mumbled half way there.
"We can turn around," I reminded him. "We can go back home." It was preferable, really. I'd have much rather spent the evening at home with him, especially while it was so cold and the weather was still awful and we were getting along. I was pretty sure I could coax more cuddles out of him while he seemed to like me.
He shook his head. "I just want to get this over with. I have to see them at some point."
"Are you alright to keep going, though?"
Dragging his fingers through his hair, he was quiet, chewing his lip instead of answering me. "Yeah. Nothing is going to change until Friday anyway."
"Until you see the doctor?" It seemed like a horrendously long time while he was like this. I watched his hands creep around his waist, a pit in my own gut as I tried to keep an eye on him and the darkness outside. "You're very pale; you wanna tell me what's wrong? If you're going to puke or crap your pants, I'd rather know about it in advance." It was supposed to be teasing, but the longer he was quiet, the more I worried.
He still tried to smile. "No, it's...I just feel terrible. I need to get this over and done with."
"Worse?" I didn't think he could get worse.
"Y-yeah. I can't breathe, and my pulse is so fast-" He stopped after seeing the look on my face. "It's worse, but it's not- it's been getting worse for a while, but being upright for so long made it more severe," he explained quickly.
"You mean sitting in the car?" I asked skeptically.
"More the walking to get to the car, and it's painful sitting like this," he admitted. "It happens whenever I stand up."
"We can go to urgent care if you're feeling that awful. Your friends will understand that you're ill." I looked away from the road long enough to press the back of my hand to his forehead, stupidly still expecting him to be feverish but finding that he was rather cold instead, just like the last few times.
"I'll be okay once I can lie down again." He caught my hand, squeezing it weakly. "Please don't panic? It'll be alright once we get there?"
"I'm not panicking, I'm just-" I could already see that I wasn't fooling him. "Okay, yeah, I'm panicking a little," I relented. "But you look like death."
"It's okay, I'm just not feeling well." Still holding my fingers, he left my arm in his lap. "I can't do anything about it until I see the doctor." His fingertips grazed over my forearm, pushing under my sleeve a little, leaving my skin tingling in cold trails.
I blew out a tight breath. Part of me was glad that we were going to be around other people who knew him well enough to notice a difference; I hoped his friends might be worried as well, just to prove that I wasn't being overdramatic. Maybe Edward could coerce him into going to the hospital. "I guess you're right."
.
.
"Hey, you've been avoiding us," Edward accused playfully, wrapping him in a tight hug. He'd come outside as he heard our car in his driveway, jumping down the porch steps to greet us. I winced; he was being too rough. I shoved my hands into my coat to keep from ripping him off. And maybe I was a little jealous.
"I've been sick, Ed," he mumbled at the ground. "Sorry." It made me feel a little better that his hands were shoved deep into his pockets, and he seemed a little uncomfortable at the affection; he wasn't just opposed to me.
"Are you okay now?" he frowned. His hands brushed down his arms, his face contorting slightly at the feel of the bandages, only getting worse as Carlisle blushed and tried to shake free.
"A bit better." Liar. He ripped out of his grip and took a step back.
"You're not really, are you? You look awful," he sighed.
"So everyone keeps reminding me." It was only inducing more colour across his cheekbones.
"We only want to help, you know. You don't need to keep boxing us out all the time." That was more accusatory than I appreciated.
"I don't mean to; things are just hard at the moment. Do we have to have this conversation while we stand in the rain?" he complained. It was barely drizzling by that point - he just didn't have to talk about it at all. The air outside was painfully cold though, so he did have a point. It wasn't doing him any favours standing out here.
Edward forced a laugh, Emmett chuckling too as he came out to see what was taking so long and only caught the end of the sentence. His smile quickly faded as he caught sight of Carlisle though.
My boyfriend instinctively groaned. "Don't say it. I know."
"Alright, Cullen," he relented easily. "Just don't drop dead while you're here, yeah? Bella's dad is chief of police, and it's going to ruin the vibe if we have to invite him over to view your corpse."
Edward shot him a disapproving look that went entirely ignored. "Not funny."
Seeing that he was about to hug me as well, I quickly put my arm around Carlisle, drawing him back into my side. He didn't resist me, his hand going to my chest to fidget with the zipper on my jacket. I struggled not to smile to myself - he hadn't hesitated at all before he touched me.
.
.
We stretched out along one of the couches, politely ignoring that despite there being plenty of seats, Emmett and Rosalie had chosen to occupy one arm chair. Noone else was quite as gross. Bella and Edward were much as we were, leaning against each other, while Alice and Jasper held hands with an inch of space between them. I slipped my arm behind Carlisle, drawing him closer to me as the opening credits rolled across the screen, grinning as he snuck his hands onto my waist and leaned his cheek on my shoulder. Things were getting better between us. It was hard to believe he hated me a week before.
And maybe he still did, but he was doing a damn good job at pretending he liked me.
The toxic glances I was collecting from a few of the others didn't escape my notice. Edward and Bella might not mind me, but Rose was absolutely hostile, Jasper not all that approving either. I hoped their partners might keep them from tearing me to pieces.
Carlisle wasn't watching the movie anymore. He had his forehead pressed against my neck, snuggled into my side and his arm draped over my shoulder, though the blanket covered that he'd slipped one leg between mine, slowly wrapping himself around me. Based on how quiet he'd been, and how long it had been since he'd moved, I was rather sure he was asleep.
"I thought you two broke up," Rosalie grumbled bitterly, shooting me a glare which I sheepishly avoided. Trying to combat the stab of discomfort it brought on, I slid down further against the cushions, jostling Carlisle as I shifted under him. My movement had caused him to be more on top of me than anything else, his side pressed against my ribs, and I wasn't sure that I had the right to wish for a little space between Emmett and his girlfriend anymore. She waited until Alice was in the kitchen and Emmett was distracted, leaving me at her mercy.
"Shut it, Rose," he snapped, more awake than I gave him credit for. His hold on me tightened, almost aggressively.
"Alistair said that you left him because he cheated on you, and you've gone straight back to him. Do you have any self respect, Carlisle?" she needled. "Does Al know about this?"
"Leave it alone. And no, so don't say anything," he admitted. I hadn't known that. I didn't want to know that. It kind of sucked.
"We invited you, not Garrett," her grumbling continued. Emmett sighed, his arm catching her shoulders, but it did little to silence her.
He shifted, his voice muffled by my shirt. "We've already established that I don't have any self-worth; just back off."
"I, um, I invited Garrett, actually," Edward added hesitantly, hiding a little behind bella.
She huffed, annoyed. "Why?"
"Because he wouldn't come if Garrett couldn't, and if they're together again, then it's not fair for us to try and make that decision for them," he continued.
"We can go home," Carlisle grumbled. I had no doubt he would have prefered to leave that.
"We want you to stay, we just don't want-"
"I'm going if you can't be nice to him," he threatened, despite not being able to get up on his own. "Can't we just watch the TV?"
"You were far more rational when you were with Alistair," she quipped. "More fun, too."
"I wasn't sick then, and we were never together." Too tired to be hostile, he didn't have much conviction.
"That's not what he said."
He wasn't about to be baited, but I sure as hell was. My nerves prickled despite his denial. "You know our history, Rosalie, it wasn't a relationship," he reminded her eventually.
"Here, leave them alone, Rose, the past is the past. Just let them be." Alice chimed in, handing the offender a cup of icecream as she returned. It seemed to shut her up, if nothing else.
I tried to ignore the knot in my stomach as she passed the cups out to all of us. It was just dessert. Not a big deal. Or so I tried to convince myself. We both had to sit up to eat, and I immediately missed the contact between us once he was back in his own seat. He still kept himself against my side, his legs overlapping mine, but it wasn't the same. I picked at it as it melted, finding it slid down my throat fairly easily as long as I was sure everyone else was focused on the screen.
Carlisle was struggling a little more. He carefully took a few careful mouthfuls, sucking on the spoon to avoid eating as much as possible. The others didn't seem to notice. I finished mine, shifting to put my dish on the floor so that I wouldn't have to push him off of me to take it to the kitchen, but he stopped me. "Gar, please?" he whispered, trying to tug it out of my grip. "I know you hate it, but I really can't." He held up his quickly melting dish, trying to usher it into my hand.
I took it from him and gave him my empty one in return. I thought we'd been inconspicuous until I caught Edward's glance. He didn't say anything, thankfully. I gently squeezed Carlisle's thigh, my thumb brushing along the outside seam of his pants. He coiled his arms around his waist and pressed his cheek against the sharp edge of my shoulder, settling once I put my arm around him again. I waited until Edward was looking back at the tv before turning my attention back to him. "Are you alright?"
He nodded unconvincingly.
"Carlisle?"
"I'm okay, I just don't feel good," he mumbled. Drawing the blanket closer around us, he sank into me. "Sorry Rose is horrible to you; I'm glad you're here."
"Don't worry about it." It wasn't an 'I love you', but I'd take it.
.
.
We got through two movies without any more snarky comments once the snacks had been brought out, and Carlisle and I both managed to avoid having to eat anything else. At least Rosalie seemed to be in a better mood once she had something in her mouth. The others were absorbed in the films, but I had no idea what was happening; I'd completely lost the plot fifteen minutes ago.
"Who's that, again?" I whispered in Carlisle's ear. "The one with the arm?"
"That's Bucky," he whispered back. He was far more invested than I was, adorably so, and I was well aware I'd stumbled on an interest of his that he hadn't shared with me.
"He's the bad guy, right?"
"No, he's Steve Roger's friend- I'm going to ruin it for you, Gar." A polite way of telling me to shut up and watch it.
"Captain America?"
That got me an eyeroll, but also earned me a chaste kiss. "Yeah."
"They're trying to kill each other?" I snuck my hands under his shirt to rub his back, pleased to finally feel some warmth in his skin.
"Steve isn't trying to hurt him, but Tony- you don't really care, do you?" His face flushed with heat as he realised I was teasing him, and he elbowed me lightly.
"No, but you're more of a dork than I thought," I grinned.
"Garrett, I'm a graphic designer for a company that sells literature, you knew exactly what you were getting into," he told me matter of factly. That statement made him giggle, earning him a sour glance from Rosalie, and he quickly tried to smother it.
I kissed his temple. "You can explain it to me later, when your friends aren't about to kill me."
"Deal."
.
.
We made it another half an hour before he started to shift. He'd been fidgeting uncomfortably for the last twenty minutes, and I assumed he was nauseous again despite his snack avoidance. Groaning under his breath, he started to untangle himself from me, offering an apologetic smile when I glanced at him to see what he was doing, trying to judge whether Rosalie had driven a wedge between us after all. "I have to go to the bathroom," he whispered when I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Again?" I whispered back, frowning. If I'd kept count correctly, it was the fourth time since we'd arrived.
"Shh, I'll be two seconds. I've had so much water." He stood up, stumbling until he could put his hand on the wall. I sat up to make sure he made it, getting a little stressed as I heard him lock the bathroom door.
He was gone so long I started to worry. As did Edward, apparently, who kept glancing at me for an explanation. He'd paused the movie - everyone else had fallen asleep long ago - but I wasn't sure what to tell him. I also desperately wanted to check on him. "Is he alright?" he asked eventually.
The bathroom door opened again before I had time to respond. I lay back down again, as did Edward who quickly restarted the movie, both of us trying to pretend we weren't hovering. I held out my hand to him as he came back, letting him melt into me. It didn't escape my notice that he was cold again. I tried to pull him back into the position he'd been in before, but he was resisting slightly, his hands pushing against my chest to hold his weight away from me. "You maybe don't want to be close to me, I-"
"I don't care if you've been sick," I whispered. "Give it up and come here." I folded the blanket back over him, pleased when he slotted back into my side. The weight of his body on mine was comforting, making me a little drowsy as well.
"Don't kiss me - I feel gross," he complained softly.
"Alright, Carlisle, just settle." Wanting to soothe him, I slowly stroked my hand along his spine, pressing my cheek to the top of his head as he hummed quietly. His breathing eventually evened out, the tension in his body relaxing as he started to fall asleep.
"Is he okay?" Edward asked again, watching us. He'd waited until Carlisle was barely conscious, too sleepy to care that we were openly talking about him. It was a wise move. "He doesn't look good."
"It's been a long time since he was 'good'," I commented, squeezing him gently as my voice disturbed him.
"He's lost a ton of weight, and he's white as a sheet. What the hell is going on?"
I hesitated. "He hasn't been feeling well for a while, and he's struggling at the moment. He has a doctor's appointment later on this week, but we don't know what's going on. I don't know what to do for him." Under the blanket, I tentatively rubbed my fingertips along his ribs, very aware of his hip digging into me suddenly. He was losing weight rather alarmingly. "He's not keeping anything solid down and he won't go to the hospital; he's too scared to listen to me. I'm not sure he even likes me, honestly."
He smiled ruefully. "He's sure cuddled up to you like he does."
"We are getting a little better together, but I can't help but think it's just because he's struggling and doesn't have a choice." It was uncomfortable, discussing it with Edward, but it was sort of a relief. Eleazar was far too biased. "I love him, Edward. He means everything to me, and I know no one wanted me here tonight, but I'm not going to hurt him again."
"He's not eating?" His frown returned as he dialed the volume on the tv down lower.
"No, but I don't think he can. I don't know what's wrong with his stomach, but I don't think it's a bug; it doesn't seem to be contagious. He can't stand longer than a few minutes without passing out, either, and he's freezing all the time."
"Let me know what the doctor says. Carlisle sure as hell won't."
.
.
The closing credits of the movie were enough to jar him violently awake. His hand shifted from my chest to my hip, and he propped himself up on one elbow to look at me. "Do you want to go home?" he whispered, glancing around the room and realising everyone else had fallen asleep too.
"You look like you need to," I murmured. "Do you have to pee again before we leave?"
Sighing, he put his head down again, his hold on me returning. "Fuck. Yes. I don't want to; I'm so tired." It was a quiet but desperate complaint. "This sucks."
"It's not forever, Carlisle." I supervised as he gingerly got to his feet, offering him a grim smile. I arched my back as he limped down the hallway, stretching my spine out of the position it had been stuck in for the last few hours and clicking my vertebrae back into place.
He was uncomfortably rubbing his side when he came back. "I think the pain killers have worn off," he admitted. "Do you want to go? It's almost two in the morning. I can drive, if you want."
"You're not driving if you're sleepy and sore," I argued softly. I sat up, rolling our blanket up as I did so, and threw my legs over the side to get my feet on the floor. "Should we wake the others up to say goodbye?"
"Uh, I'll tell Edward. The others can deal."
All it took was 'we're going home', quietly whispered in his ear as to not disturb Bella, and Edward had everyone awake and hugging us goodbye. Rosalie glared daggers at me the whole time, but I figured I could get over that pretty easily; I wasn't convinced she even cared about Carlisle all that much. She was only out for conflict.
I held his hand on our short walk down the driveway, pleased that the others hadn't wanted to come outside to say goodbye, hiding from the weather. Despite the rain, Carlisle was lagging behind me, refusing to move any faster than a slow walk while his jacket slowly absorbed the water. I thought he was dizzy, slowing to match him in case he slipped. He didn't say anything, biting his lip until we were in the safety of the car. I'd jumped in immediately, but he'd hesitated again, his hand on the door.
"Are you hurting again?" I reached over to squeeze his knee, finding his hand instead.
"A little. I think I'm just over-tired," he mumbled. Even once he was sitting down, something was still wrong.
"You've slept for the last hour," I teased, forcing a smile. "But it's hurting you to walk, isn't it? That's why you're getting upset?"
He nodded reluctantly. "I hurt my hip last time I fell, and it doesn't feel right when I move; I don't want to keep getting up."
"Is this something you need to get x-rayed?"
"I can still walk on it."
"If it's painful, then there's something wrong."
"On Friday."
.
.
It was close to 2am by the time we reached our apartment. I got him a heat pack before we got in bed, hoping it might ease some of the pain, and he squirmed uncomfortably when I gave it to him. His breath caught and his face warmed and I tried to figure out what I'd done wrong. "Do you want...we don't have to sleep together?" I reminded him. I was past caring; I was going to be asleep on my feet if he didn't hurry up and make a decision.
"Considering I spent the last few hours asleep with you, I think we're a little past that point," he mumbled.
I scrubbed my hand across my face. "Then what's the matter? I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to guess, Carlisle."
He swallowed. "I'm worried that this is all too fast. You and me."
"I'll sleep on the couch, and we can talk about this in the morning." Just for the love of god, let me sleep.
"That isn't what I meant. I don't want you to think…" That I love you. He trailed off, but the unsaid words hurt.
"We can figure it out when you're feeling better, and it's not the middle of the night. We aren't accidently going to fall into a relationship just because we're spending more time together. I want to be your partner again, but I know you're not ready for that. Can we just sleep on it?" I pleaded.
Nodding, he reached over to pull the blankets down on my side of the bed. "I really appreciate you looking after me, though. It means a lot."
"That's not going to change as long as you need it, even if you decide you can't be with me." No matter how much it hurt.
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