I hope the world is being kind to all of you. Thanks for putting up with my irregular updates.

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It didn't count as a meal. Not really. He'd been too nervous to attempt anything other than a few dry crackers his nurse had offered, but he also hadn't puked due to my eating next to him. His anxious whimper alerted me to things going downhill. I glanced over at him, watching him start to squirm, his hand creeping up to rest over his lips.

"Okay, hey, keep still," I murmured, pushing my food away and reaching over to tug his pillow further down behind him, keeping his posture bolt upright. "Do you want me to take my dinner outside?"

He shook his head, his breaths far too fast. "N-no, I just haven't had food in a long time, and it's- the nurse said it would make my stomach cramp the first few times I ate." Shifting, he drew his knee up against his chest, forcing himself to swallow.

"Do you want some water?" I asked helplessly. I started to pass him his cup until he shook his head.

"I'm okay, I think. Just uncomfortable."

"Are you nauseous, though?"

"A little," he admitted. He'd gotten pale, nervously rubbing his middle under the blanket as he tried to regulate the sensation. It seemed to help, then tension melting slowly from his shoulders. "I have to have someone with me at all times, and I really want to have a shower; do you mind, uh…"

I nodded, sighing as I watched him blush and look away. The cardboard of my now-empty dinner carton scratched as I pushed it along the table, both of us wincing. It wasn't as though we hadn't seen each other undressed before so I wasn't entirely unsure why he was taking issue with it. "It's not forever," I repeated.

"But it's awkward." The crackers threatened to make a swift reappearance, until he forced another pained swallow. Being under my scrutiny was making him squirm.

"I'll still come with you," I assured him. And it would give me the opportunity to see the extent of what he'd done to himself, what I'd be dealing with once he came home.

"Thanks."

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I hadn't realised how much of a process bathing was going to be. We had to wait until the IV was disconnected from the fluid bag, the nurse having to take down his bandaging until only the waterproof dressing underneath was left, giving me a briefing outside of the room on the importance of his hands being in my line of sight at all times. And that was before he'd even gotten out of bed - his hip was still hurting and he was lightheaded once he was upright, motion making the nausea return. He just froze, his eyes anxiously meeting mine.

Pausing to kiss his temple, I laced my fingers through his. "Come on, let's get this over with so you can get back in bed."

He nodded dizzily. He let me lead him toward the bathroom, letting go to stumble toward the sink as I locked the door behind us, desperately trying to keep his stomach from heaving. Somehow, he managed not to vomit, pressing his forehead against the mirror as his fingers squeezed the porcelain.

"Are you going to faint?" I didn't dare put my arms around him in case it tipped him over the edge, but I didn't entirely believe him when he shook his head. Still, I turned on the water, pushing the shower curtain against the wall, determined to follow the nurse's rules to a T and watching him from the corner of my eye in case he went down while my back was turned.

"Sorry, I'm alright," he mumbled after a moment. "Let's get this over with."

"Don't sound so enthusiastic," I chuckled in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"I already don't feel good, and this is embarrassing," he mumbled. I started to tease him, to remind him that it was less than a week ago that he'd had me pinned to the floor, but he pulled his shirt over his head and didn't turn away fast enough to hide the marks on his body, the bruising and the wounds. My sharp inhale didn't help. "Are you sure you can't just…"

"I have to be able to see your hands, Carlisle."

"I don't have anything on me - you can search my pockets." He'd frozen again. Stalling.

"No, baby. But I can get the guard-"

"Please not him."

"Alright, but you're about to have a panic attack over me standing here." I closed the gap between us to slip my arms around his shoulders, trapping him in a hug he didn't entirely consent to and pressing my lips to his forehead as he shoved lightly against my torso. "Look, this will be done in five minutes."

"I know- I know. Sorry, I don't want to waste your time, I know you're tired-"

"Don't worry about that. You'll feel better once you've stood under the water for a while; maybe we can stream something to watch after this?" I kissed the top of his head as he refused to look up. It was difficult not to cringe as I ran my hand down his back, his vertebrae no longer softened by his clothing. Perhaps that was what he was so worried about.

Although he nodded and pulled free, he obviously didn't feel any better about it as I stepped back against the wall. There was nothing cathartic about his mad scramble to wash himself down and get dressed again. He barely spoke to me until he was back in bed again, withdrawn even then. I thought I'd managed to mask any emotion toward the state of him, but I was starting to suspect otherwise.

The nurse came back and reattached everything to him, catching my eye when he wouldn't engage her either. "Did everything go alright, Carlisle?" she asked carefully, keeping her voice light. "Are you nauseous again?"

He still had the presence of mind to nod. The question had triggered something; he locked his arms around his leg, dropping his head against his knee. He mumbled his name and date of birth when she prompted him, surrendering his arm, but didn't move a muscle as she pushed the medication down his IV line.

"I think he, ah, he got a bit anxious," I explained quietly. I sunk into my chair as I hoped she wouldn't blame me.

She frowned, lowering her voice to speak to me. "He's been having a hard time with the watch here."

"He struggles being dependent, and having to rely on strangers is...difficult for him," I worded carefully, trying to gauge what he was actually listening to. Not much, judging on his lack of response. I watched as she set about checking his blood pressure and pulse, the measurements making her frown at the monitor.

"You need to have some more water, even with your fluids running; your blood pressure is on the way down again. Are you lightheaded?"

He nodded again. Still no movement. He didn't take the cup when she tried to offer it to him.

"I'll um, I'll still stay a while; we'll work on it," I promised, taking the hand he'd dropped onto the sheets. His fingers were freezing again. I waited until she'd walked out before scooting closer, reaching forward to tuck the blankets around him. "You okay?"

He cautiously slipped his arms around me while I was leaning over him. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was testing my reaction to him now. It had made him look up if nothing else. "Yeah."

My knuckles brushed along his jaw as I kissed him softly. He didn't kiss me back. Just held his breath. "Are you sure?"

Yet again, he nodded. It seemed to be the only movement he could make.

Settling back, I lifted his cup to his lips, pleased when he managed a small swallow of the water inside. It prompted him to take it from me, the motion suddenly jogging him back into reality. "Yeah, sorry. I'm fine."

"You're acting strangely, what's going on?"

He forced another sip of water. "Nothing, I'm overwhelmed, I guess. It's been a long day."

That was understandable. "I know. You're doing better, though; you ate-"

"Hardly anything. I barely weigh 120 pounds, Garrett - how am I supposed to put that weight back on if I can't keep anything down?" he asked, unmistakably upset now.

"It's a start, baby. You haven't even begun the treatment yet. Maybe you'll start to feel a bit stronger once you've got the new medication on board."

"I hope so, I'm so tired, Gar." He shifted onto his side, knotting his fingers in mine with one hand while the other trailed up my forearm. "Do you wanna go home? Today hasn't been good for you either."

I shook my head. "Not yet. Fox will cope on her own a little longer." I'd already resigned myself to staying until he fell asleep, hoping he might feel a little better if it were me watching over him as opposed to the stranger. "She actually cuddles me when you're not home, though," I teased.

He smiled again, tightening his hold on my palm. "She's so sweet."

"She'll be pleased when you're back." I'd hesitated before saying it, but it seemed productive to give him something positive to focus on.

It helped; he nodded and started to relax into the bedding, never releasing my hand. "Are you working tomorrow?" he asked eventually.

I nodded. "Only in the morning. I'll come and see you afterwards, though, if that's alright with you."

"Yeah. You really don't have to stay like you did today, but I really want to see you."

"Again, baby, I don't have anywhere else to be."

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I didn't expect the wave of panic I felt as I stepped out of the hospital. It hadn't taken all that long for him to fall asleep after he'd had more painkillers, but I'd sat there for another hour anyway, forcing myself to process the last few hours. I made it back to the car before the shakes started, resting my temple against the window and squeezing my eyes shut.

He was eating again. A little. An improvement on the last few weeks.

But our lives were definitely going to be different from now on; he was going to have to make peace with drifting in and out of hospitals, especially over the next few months. We'd both have to learn how to manage his medications. God knows how it was going to affect his job. Maybe we could move closer to my parents - at least he'd have help nearby then while I was away during the day.

And then he thought he loved me. That still seemed dicey - he was far too emotional to make that call yet, as much as I wanted him to.

Fuck.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, buzzing against the fabric of the car seat. Assuming it to be my boyfriend, I answered it on autopilot. "Hey, baby, I thought you'd fallen asleep." Although I smiled, expecting to hear his voice in response, what I heard instead formed a knot in my stomach.

"Dodging my calls, Garrett? Your ex answers his phone more than you do." She sounded cold, her tone harsh, stinging my eardrums.

"What do you want with him, Heidi?" I snapped back. "How did you get his number in the first place?"

"It's nice to speak to you too."

"How?" I demanded.

She huffed as though I was being petty. "Does it matter? It's your alternative contact number on the school system. I wouldn't have to involve him if you'd just speak to me."

"I don't want anything to do with you, and I'm sure your husband feels the same about me. Leave Carlisle out of this, or I'll contact the school." It had been a hollow threat until I'd said it, and it suddenly seemed like my only way out. It might make my brother hate me, but he was being that much of a jerk that it was hard to care.

The line cut off with a click. Good fucking riddance.

I drove home with trembling hands. Fox greeted me in the doorway, reminding me that I was a few hours late in feeding her, and I waited impatiently at the bench for her to scoff kibble into her tiny mouth so that I could take her to bed with me. Heidi had upset my stomach again, and I hoped it would pass as I lay down on the mattress with the cat.

I really needed to get some fucking sleep.

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He looked brighter the next afternoon. Exhausted, maybe, but the colour in his face appeared natural, and while he sat cross legged on the bed, his laptop in front of him, it almost looked like he was feeling better. "Hi." Just that word was enough to make the guard slink out the door, already sick of us.

I grinned back and rolled my eyes. "Hey."

"How was work?" Pushing the computer closed, he stretched his legs out in front of him, arching the kink out of his spine.

"Fine. It would be wishful thinking if I were to hope that you'd just been watching films all day, huh?" I nodded toward the device.

He smiled sheepishly, pausing before rewarding me with a guilty nod. "But I caught up on a lot - I couldn't sleep this morning, and there were a few projects I thought I was going to lose because my headaches have been so bad every time I look at my computer screen for too long. I think I can finish on time now, though."

"I'm pleased you're feeling better, but don't push it, baby. You're still having a lot of pain relief." Perching my hip on the edge of the bed, my hand landed on his thigh. The warmth under his skin was comforting.

He wasn't listening to me, excited. It would have been cute if I hadn't been sure it would crash down later. "And I don't have to have IV fluid anymore; I've been drinking enough for the nurse to take it off me."

A painful cramp squeezed through my chest. He seemed so happy about the progress, a huge change from his attitude the day before, but I worried it was all just a front. Either that, or he was so sleep deprived that he was starting to lose it. I certainly was - I hadn't slept again the night before. "Just be careful with yourself," I urged. "Take it easy, alright?"

"I'm being careful, Gar. I'm still not allowed to be alone." That seemed to jerk everything back into focus. Quiet suddenly, he started to pick at his fingers, a sigh deflating his shoulders. "I know it doesn't seem like much to you, Garrett, but I just want to get out of here. I'm going to suffocate if I have to lie in this bed with him watching me for much longer. Working takes my mind off it for a while."

I leaned down, softly kissing the top of his head, my hand squeezing his shoulder now. "Have you been able to keep food down again today?" I asked to change the subject.

He nodded, and then shrugged, stretching across the table next to him to pick up a small bottle, shaking it to show it was nearly empty. "A meal replacement," he answered my unasked question. "It's supposed to help me get enough calories while I can't get much down."

Good. "Does it taste alright?"

"Like cardboard." He held it toward me to try with a grin. "It's a little better when it's cold, though."

I shook my head - it would ruin the nurse's measurements. "I believe you."

Reaching over, he slid his fingers through my hair, brushing it back off my face. His touch trailed down to knot in the collar of my shirt against my throat, lightly tugging me forward into another kiss. "Everything alright?"

I covered his hand with my own. "Just...Heidi."

"Hmm. She called again this morning," he said carefully. It automatically made my stomach lurch. "But she hasn't gotten through again after I blocked her number."

"She stole your number off of the school system. I think I'm going to have to tell the school about her; I don't see another way to make this stop, especially if she's targeting you. But that means I have to tell Eleazar," I rambled. I already knew that I shouldn't be venting about the problems my affair had caused me to the partner that I cheated on, but if he minded it, he wasn't about to tell me.
And he'll tell my parents, and- sorry, Carlisle."

He gave me a grim smile without acknowledging the apology. "Maybe not; it doesn't affect Kate or the other kids, just Heidi's integrity as a teacher. I'm sure she wouldn't want to involve the children either. I don't see why she would say anything to your brother."

"She's crazy; I'm not sure what she'll do. I know this is all my fault, but-"

"But you need to get some sleep. Maybe you should go home and have a nap?" The suggestion wasn't hostile like I expected, sweet instead, his fingers through mine.

"I'd much rather stay here with you," I argued lamely.

"Me too, but we can't both be ill, Gar, you need to look after yourself."

I knew realistically he was right. Despite the fatigue clawing at my body, I stubbornly shook my head. "I can't sleep anyway." As if we'd summoned her, my ringtone sounded in my back pocket. I groaned and anxiously looked at Carlisle, trying to will it away. I knew without looking it was her.

He sighed and reached for the device. Instead of answering it and bickering - though I was sure he was tempted at this point - he just denied the call, automatically opening the contact and barring it.

I felt stupid. I was stupid. I could have ended my own torture days ago. "I love you so much."

"Love you too," he mumbled, swallowing dryly. "Don't let her get to you."

"I don't think she even likes me, really-"

"I beg to differ on that, Garrett. She pursued you within school grounds and risked her job," he reminded me sharply. Point taken.

"I guess. She's jealous of you." I tightened my grip on his fingers when he tried to snatch his hand back.

He rolled his eyes. "I'd happily swap places with her, if she wants to sit here and swallow a cocktail of pills every day."

We sat in a tense silence while I tried to figure out how to mend the turn our conversation had taken, but he eventually blew out a tight breath and relented. "You really need to go and get some sleep, Gar; this can't be good for your health."

"I don't want to go anywhere if we're in a bad place, Carlisle." Not after we'd made so much progress.

"We're not; sorry I snapped. I'm just not coping with all this very well, and I hate that she's making it more difficult."

"She can't do any more damage now that she can't contact us, right?"

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Wrong.

The envelope was folded under the windshield wiper of my car. Part of me already blamed Heidi, before I'd opened it, and a wave of nausea hit me as I realised she knew where I worked. Worse, she knew enough about my job that she knew where I parked my car a block down the street. I glanced around as I unlocked the driver's door, scanning for her face in the crowds of people as my pulse raced and my stomach cramped. A quick check of the backseat and trunk once I was in helped to settle my paranoia. I locked the doors anyway.

The paper in my hands was a little wet from the rain, but not soaked through - it can't have been there long. A shiver ran down my spine. I expected a letter as I ripped it open. Instead, a wad of photographs fell into my lap. Printed screenshots, rather. My confusion quickly turned to horror.

I thought I was about to be sick by the time I reached the hospital. I'd barely managed to get there without causing an accident. I leapt up the stairs two at a time, not having the patience to wait for an elevator, in the beginnings of a panic attack as I burst through Carlisle's door.

"Has she been here too?" I demanded, panting to get my breath back as my chest ached, heaving uncontrollably. "Heidi- did she- has she-"

Startled, he blinked a couple of times, trying to adjust to my intrusion. There was a few seconds pause before he held out his hand to me. "No, what'd she do?"

It took a moment for me to register that the blotchy pattern across his cheeks continued down his neck, under the edge of his sweatshirt, and that his skin absolutely burnt against mine when I threaded our fingers together. "What happened? Are you sick? Carlisle-"

"I know it looks awful, but I'm okay; I'm having a reaction to the medication. I had my first round of immunoglobulin replacement this morning." That might have been the treatment the doctor went over with us, but I was sure this reaction wasn't ever mentioned as part of the deal. He didn't seem to care right then. "What's all this about Heidi?"

The tears I'd so desperately fought back overflowed as I handed him the disintegrating paper. "I didn't know she was filming us- I never saw a camera and she never asked," I told him as I swallowed away sobs. I watched him pale a little as he shuffled through the photos, none of them revealing much of Heidi but all of them showing far too much of me. "I swear to you I didn't know she took these."

"Breathe, Gar, come here." He'd already sat up to guide me toward him, his arms looping around my shoulders once I was close enough. "Where did she leave these?"

"On my car, while I was at work."

"You told her where you work?"

I shook my head, ducking my forehead against his shoulder. His temperature was far too obvious now that I was holding him so closely. "You're sick again," I accused.

"Not really; it's just superficial. It's not so bad," he argued. "You really need to report her, Garrett. Don't let her terrorise you like this."

I knew I was selfish. For making him pick up the pieces when he was clearly in no state to. But god did it feel good to have him talking candidly to me again, clear-headed like he'd been before he'd gotten sick. "You're doing a lot better now you've had some form of nutrition, huh?"

"Hmm. And now that I'm not vomiting the second anything hits my stomach. I'm just tired, mostly."

It gave me a little hope about having him home again. "Do you still want to come to Kate's dance recital? It's in a few days." I'd already decided that I wasn't facing it alone, as badly as my niece wanted me there. She'd called me on her father's phone when school had finished to remind me, begging me to bring Carlisle as well, and I'd already tried my best to let her down easy, sure he wasn't about to agree.

"Eleazar will hate it if I come," he reminded me.

"I know," I selfishly admitted.

"And Heidi will be there."

"I know."

Another tense silence. "I'll go, if I can get out of here on leave." His eyes were trained on my face, and I wasn't sure what he was seeing that had made him cave so readily when it was obviously going to be a terrible experience.

I finally relaxed enough to sit myself down for the first time since inflicting my presence on him, stopping my uncomfortable hovering. The photos were still between us, and my vision blurred with tears again as I caught sight of myself in them again - god knows what else she had if she'd managed to tape us without me noticing.

Carlisle followed my line of vision, ripping through the paper in one swift movement, tearing them into smaller pieces afterwards. "It's done, Gar. I've seen them; she can't spring that on us anymore. It's invasive and horrible, but it's over."

I nodded, the lump in my throat preventing me from saying more.

"Garrett, you were safe with her, right?"

My blush must have given away that I knew what he was asking so I didn't bother playing dumb. "Uh, y-yeah, I always made sure we were." A cough helped my voice come out a little steadier, although he'd clearly noticed I was struggling as he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles.

"You used your own condoms, not hers?"

I nodded guiltily. "Yeah."

"So there's absolutely no way that she can claim you got her pregnant?"

"Oh god, I don't think so? Fuck, Carlisle, what if she tries to?" The panic rose again, my breaths catching, but his hold on me tightened.

"Then I guess we pay for paternity testing. Let's not worry about it if it's not likely to be an issue?" He was quickly becoming too tired for this conversation. "We'll deal with it, alright? It's not like you can change what's already happened."

Lightheaded suddenly, I groaned and leaned forward against the bed from where I sat, desperately trying to calm my respiratory rate before I let my panic get out of control again. "Maybe I'm just tired." Him too.

"I think so, babe."

"I'm really, really sorry."

"You certainly couldn't have picked a worse woman to have an affair with."

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