Author Note; Please be warned; in this chapter, we interrupt our regularly scheduled Polin for an interlude of Kate/Anthony, with the first 'spicy' scene at the beginning of this chapter. Consider this…hmmm, just me practicing for what will come later for Polin…

Chapter Seven: Engagement

Kate Sharma hurried out of the ball room, a rushing roar in her ears, striding straight into the deserted gardens that were lit only by torches. All she could see before her mind's eye was Anthony's face, and all that was running through her head were the words he had whispered in her ear on the dance floor, right as the song was ending.

"Tonight, I shall propose to Edwina."

Shaking with adrenaline and anguish, Kate hurried along the hedge-lined paths, her hands trembling. She came across a small clearing, seemingly tucked away at the end of a charming little rose garden, partially bordered by hedges, and walked blindly into it, falling to pacing back and forth across the space. It was what Edwina had wanted, what Kate had specifically come to England for, everything they could have dreamed of for a match for her younger sister, and yet… and yet…

He will be lost to me forever.

Kate stifled a sob, her hand flying to her mouth, trying hard to breathe around the panicked gasps that were threatening to spill over. All this time she had claimed to hate Lord Bridgerton, Anthony, claimed to be just trying to protect her younger sister, but she couldn't fight this anymore. She couldn't ignore the way her traitorous body responded to him when he was near her, couldn't pretend; the times she was conversing or even arguing with him was when she felt more alive than she ever had in her life. She loved him. Oh God, she was in love with him, and he was going to marry her sister…

Kate collapsed onto a nearby stone bench, her head in her hands, and let herself cry like she hadn't truly allowed herself to since she was a child, her sobs piercing the blank silence of the gardens. Time passed – whether it was minutes, or an hour, Kate couldn't say, completely wrapped in the agony inside her mind. Anthony is going to propose to Edwina. Anthony is going to propose to Edwina. Anthony –

There was a movement, a breath, a shadow, and Kate's eyes snapped open, and her head shot up, and all at once she scrambled to her feet, wiping furiously at her eyes, and there standing before her, was Anthony.

Lord Anthony Bridgerton was standing in the hedge archway leading into the small clearing, his hands balled into fists at his sides, staring at Kate. He had delivered his final stinging blow during their dance together, to advise her of his intentions with Edwina. He had watched Kate's face collapse, his heart clenching as she had turned and left the dance floor, because suddenly, he knew beyond all shadow of doubt, that he had just broken the heart of the woman he loved, as much as he had broken his own.

He knew she had fled, and it hadn't taken him long to work out where – it had been agony to wait inside, but wait it out he did, as long as he could stand until he was sure he wouldn't be seen, and he had slipped outside to the gardens to seek her out. In her state, she had walked much further than she'd probably intended, and it took a little exploring before he had heard the unmistakable sound of her sobs, and followed the noise like a hound on the scent.

Even with her face devastated by tears, she stood tall and proud before him, utterly beautiful, perfectly broken. They stared at each other for long moments, his dark gaze meeting hers, in a silent competition – God, it was always a competition – for who would speak first.

"Please excuse me, my Lord," Kate said finally, quietly. "I had just composed myself and would return to the ball now."

"No," Anthony ground out, his eyes still locked on her. He took a few steps towards her, dazedly, moving despite himself, and she didn't back down but returned his gaze defiantly, her chin raised with dignity.

"I beg your pardon?" she said as icily as she could, her breath hitching on a final suppressed sob. The tears were fading away now, replaced with the tense fire that always ignited inside her when he was nearby, that hyper awareness of his every movement, his every breath.

"I said, no," Anthony growled, stopping a few feet away from her. His eyes moved, roving from her face to her hair, her neck, her collarbone, her shoulders…he was breathing hard, feeling like a man possessed. It was getting harder and harder to remember why proposing to Edwina would be the right thing to do. Kate's fire, her burning passion, her heated arguments, the stubborn set of her mouth, her fierce intelligence…it felt like an inferno consuming him, scorching away any intention he had felt towards the diamond. Edwina… it wasn't her fault, it really had nothing to do with her, she was coolly beautiful and completely suitable, perfectly pleasant, but the fire in his veins was insistent, singing, calling out instead for the woman in front of him.

He stepped onwards, until he was standing right in front of Kate, whose gaze had never wavered, who had watched him staring at her. They were both breathing unsteadily, and with his hungry eyes on her face, Anthony focused in on the delicate curl of black hair that hung artfully down past her jaw, seized with the instinct to reach out and touch it, tuck it away behind her ear, to just touch her, anywhere –

And so he did, his fingertips grazing softly at the side of her face as he moved the hair back behind her ear, and he felt her body tremble under his touch, and her breath hitch. The last lingering thread of his self-control was wavering, and he looked into her eyes and found them molten black with desire.

"I love you," he choked out, meaning it with all he had. "Kate, I am in such agony…"

She gave a startled and anguished gasp, her hand coming up to brush the side of his face too, her soft fingers against his jaw. "I love you too," she breathed, closing her eyes for a moment, and swallowing hard. "God knows, I have tried not to, but I can't help it."

"I cannot control this anymore," he said hoarsely, and all at once, he pulled her to him, his hands coming up to take hold of the sides of her face as his lips crashed onto hers, pouring the passion and frustration he'd been feeling for months into the kiss. She stilled for only a moment before she began to respond, her arms moving to come up over his shoulders and wrap around the back of his neck, her lips battling with his as they both moaned low with their desire. Heart thudding, his hands dropped to her waist, wrapping around her to pull her closer to him, hesitating then for only a second before one hand moved to follow the delicious line of her waist, down to her hip, then sliding backwards to find and cup the irresistible curve of her ass, splaying his hand over it before squeezing, pulling her insistently forward against him.

He broke their kiss to move his lips to her neck, that beautiful curve of the side of her neck that he'd stared at many times, and he brushed his lips along the soft skin there before finding her pulse point and clamping down in a sudden bite, transforming quickly into a delicious suction of tongue and mouth on her skin that made her moan helplessly, her body pinned against him. Her hands were scrabbling, running over his back and his sides, up into his hair, twisting and tugging gently at the chestnut locks, keening as he flickered his tongue over her neck.

One hand firmly planted on her ass, the other moved upwards, sliding up the line of her waist on the other side and on to her chest, covering and cupping her breast through the delicate dark gold of her gown. This was another area he had dreamed of, and she allowed him free rein to caress and gently squeeze her, his fingers moving to slide beneath the silks to the beautifully private skin, seeking until he found his prize – her nipple which hardened quickly under the ministrations of his fingers, his mouth continuing to tease her neck while he explored her breast. He groaned against her skin, feeling like he could come undone just from this touch, wanting and needing access to more of her.

He pulled back and moved once more to the softness of her mouth, capturing her lips again and prodding her mouth with his tongue until her lips parted beneath his, and their tongues slid together and retracted in a sensuous dance he never wanted to end. Both his hands moved to loosen and tug down her sleeves from her shoulders, then he tugged down the front of her gown, just enough to expose more of her chest, and she gasped a little as her upper body was revealed to the cool night air. He broke the kiss again to drop his head down, his mouth trailing kisses over the top of one breast while his hand caressed and lightly squeezed the other, hungrily moving down to take her nipple in his mouth, and he swirled and moved his tongue, flickering in a way that he knew usually gave pleasure, and sure enough she moaned again, moaning his name this time, her hands sliding through his hair again, allowing him several exquisite moments of paradise before her hands were guiding him back upright to stand and kiss her again, and it was heady, he was drunk on her, he could never get enough of this.

"I love you," he panted again, because he needed her to know how much he meant it.

"I love you," she breathed against his mouth, and he moved again to deepen their kiss.

There was a small and pointed cough from the clearing's hedge archway entrance, and they both nearly leapt a mile, Anthony spinning around and splaying his arms out to try and hide Kate's dignity behind him, both of them staring and panting in horror, with swollen mouths.

Queen Charlotte and Lady Danbury stood in the archway, the Queen looking coolly furious, and Lady Danbury regarding them with a quirked eyebrow, a smile playing around her lips.

An hour or two after her dance with Colin, Penelope was growing restless. Whispers and murmurs had spread throughout the crowd after the odd incident with Kate and Anthony, whispers that were continuing even now, although no one seemed to be able to find them, which was almost enough scandal in itself for the ton to dine out on for weeks to come.

She had resumed her position to the side of the room, trying to blend into the shadows, listening to the speculation around her, and thinking hard. She was certain that her suspicions were correct – Kate and Anthony were in love. His slow, unseemly reluctance to propose to Edwina suddenly make perfect sense. He must have been hoping all along to delay the business on the off chance that the elder Miss Sharma might feel the same way. Which she did, Penelope was sure of it. But oh, what a muddle indeed, with the younger sister involved… someone would get hurt no matter what here.

Eyes flitting around the room, Penelope couldn't locate where Colin was. She was sure she had seen him not long ago, talking to Benedict, but she hadn't spotted him since. She wanted to speak to him, as soon as possible, about what she had observed between his eldest brother and Kate. The impact this could have on the Bridgertons could be catastrophic, and it seemed best to warn him about her suspicions. Perhaps he could talk to Anthony, see whether it was true, discuss options for the family…

Penelope pulled herself up short in her head, frowning to herself. There she went, talking about the Bridgertons like they were her family, when in reality she was… well, she was… a friend of the family. Yes. A well-meaning and concerned friend of the family. She cared deeply about Eloise, about Colin, about every member of the Bridgertons really, who had always been nothing but good to her, and she wanted to help them if she could.

Resolved, she moved from her spot around the perimeter of the room, searching through the crowd for Colin, but after several minutes she soon gave up on the endeavour – the Bridgerton men were distinguishable in crowds for their height and distinctive hair colour, and she could not see any of them.

To the side of the wall, she spotted a doorway leading into a side corridor, and she slipped down it and walked down along it, wondering if perhaps he might be in one of these side chambers. She crept carefully down the torchlit corridor, listening hard, and before long she thought she could hear voices coming through an archway further down. She approached the arch slowly, hardly daring to breathe. There was cooler air coming from the other side – the adjacent terrace must lead to a side entrance to the Countess' gardens.

The voices sounded distinctly female… she reached the archway and chanced the barest of peeks around the corner. There, on the terrace, she could make out the figures of two women dressed in gold, one taller and one shorter, both with raven-black hair.

…Kate and Edwina.

Miss Edwina Sharma faced her older sister, hands on hips, staring a hole into Kate. "What is it, Kate? What do you have to tell me so urgently?" She studied her sister more closely and noticed a certain redness in Kate's eyes, like she had been crying. She blinked in surprise. "Is everything alright?"

"No, it is not alright, bon," Kate burst out, her voice wavering like tears were threatening again. "I…I hardly know how to say this to you…" she wrung her hands, looking in anguish at Edwina.

"Is Mama alright?" Edwina urged her. "Or is it…" Comprehension and a certain shrewdness dawned in her eyes. "Is it about Lord Bridgerton?"

Kate, her hands now over her mouth, nodded once sharply.

"Did you speak to him after your dance?" Edwina guessed, frowning. "What did he say to you that made you leave the dance floor anyway? Everyone has been speculating."

"He…" Kate gulped and closed her eyes, visibly steeling herself for what would come next. "He did come find me to speak with me. He… we met out in the rose gardens. He told me… during the dance, at the end I mean, he told me… oh bon, he said he meant to propose to you tonight."

Edwina was in silent shock, staring open-mouthed at Kate. Penelope, pressed and hidden against the wall beside the archway nearby, was open-mouthed herself at what she was hearing.

"And did you give him your blessing?" Edwina questioned sharply. She studied again the slightly bedraggled and anguished state of her sister. "You didn't, did you?"

"Not… not in so many words…" Kate was cringing, hating herself for putting Edwina in this position, struggling to find a way to say what she must say. "Before I tell you what has happened, you must know, how much I love you, how I would do anything, how I was prepared to do anything, to protect you and your happiness…"

"Was?" Edwina queried, eyed narrowed.

"Anthony… Lord Bridgerton, and I…" The silence stretched out.

Then; "You're in love with him," Edwina said flatly.

"What?!" Kate all but squealed, nearly jumping back in her shock. "I… whatever made you… how did you…"

Edwina Sharma, it should be noted, was far from stupid. She knew between the pair of sisters that she was ascribed status as 'the pretty one' and people might assume that meant she was not intelligent, but she was a young lady of grace and charm who had been raised and trained by Kate to read people, and the person she knew best in the world how to read was her older sister.

Edwina liked Lord Bridgerton; he was handsome, charming and pleasant company for the most part, and the prospect of marrying a viscount, being a viscountess, was certainly enough to turn any young girl's head. Once he had set his sights on her, his pursuit had been flattering indeed, and maybe initially, it had seemed like the perfect happily ever after to come from her foray into the marriage mart of Mayfair; if she liked him at first, surely love would come later.

But the courtship had been marred from the start by his interactions with Kate. At first Edwina had assumed Kate's behaviour stemmed from overprotectiveness, a deep care for her sister to only pursue a love match, and then, it seemed to be explained away by a deep and visceral personal hatred between the two, where the air seemed to crackle around them when they confronted each other.

And then Edwina, trying to get a read on the situation, felt a suspicion take root as she observed their behaviour, watched the anguish Kate seemed to be feeling that could hardly be completely attributed to worry over her sister's marriage, a worry that would only really make sense if she wanted the bridegroom for herself.

Edwina had watched them dance at the Hearts and Flowers ball in the country, witnessed the looks that passed between them, the electricity around them, and that had truly been the first time she had really wrangled with the possibility that her sister was in love with her suitor. She had watched the way Lord Bridgerton's face lit up around Kate, reflecting somewhat sadly that it did not do the same when she herself interacted with him.

Now, seeing the astonishment on Kate's face, she huffed a little impatiently. "It is alright, Kate," Edwina murmured. "You need not deny it, I would not have you lie anymore."

Kate wavered a moment, and then her face collapsed, her gloved hands covering her face. "I am so, so, sorry, bon," Kate gasped, looking at her sister tearfully. "You… you are right. I love him. I love Lord Bridgerton."

Edwina nodded once, her mouth set in a grim line. "I know. I have suspected it for some time now, but I did not say anything, in hope that I might be imagining things." She looked, not without pity, at her older sister. "Did you only just realise it yourself?"

"I… truthfully I have been denying it for what feels for so long but…" Kate gasped over a skittering sob, "Tonight is I think the first time it has truly dawned on me."

Edwina watched her for a moment, feeling curiously calm and detached. "I do not love Lord Bridgerton," she declared firmly, feeling like she needed to clarify her position here. "I like him, certainly, and I would have said yes if he'd proposed to me, but I can hardly claim to feel the love that you clearly do. I thought you hated him for so long, but I've come to realise, love and hatred are just two sides of one coin; both carry an undeniable depth of feeling. A depth that I have not experienced myself yet." She smiled a little sardonically, continuing bravely, "A depth that I deserve to experience some day."

Kate watched her younger sister and was struck again, not for the first time, by the calm maturity in her, the pragmatic resolve, the practicality, and she realised with a swelling feeling in her chest, all of these were traits she herself had taught Edwina. How she wished her younger sister might be able to find a love that cherished her the way she truly deserved.

"For what it's worth," Edwina added, "and if it helps at all, I truly think Lord Bridgerton is in love with you too."

Kate let out a noise that was half sob and half laughter despite herself. Oh, she didn't know the half of it. "There is something else I need to tell you, bon." She straightened her shoulders and made an effort to compose herself. "When Anthony… Lord Bridgerton… found me in the gardens…"

"He told you he loved you," Edwina supplied, having already guessed. She paused to consult her heart, scanning to assess the damage; she found hurt and annoyance that Kate hadn't been honest this whole time, embarrassment at the long drawn out public courtship coming to an end, and perhaps somewhat of an injury to her ego that a man as accomplished, handsome and charming as Anthony hadn't picked her instead, but she supposed it was only human to feel a sting of rejection.

"Yes…" Kate hedged. "He…he did. And I told him I loved him too. And…" she faltered and fell silent, debating how to proceed. "He… we…"

Edwina stared at her sister, astonished to see the dark flush that stole over her cheeks and spread down her neck and chest, and she gasped. "In the garden?" she cried incredulously.

"Please, Edwina, I pray you keep your voice down," Kate admonished, darting a nervous look over her shoulder. "I assure you, not… not everything you are thinking happened, happened, but we… well. Then we were discovered."

"You were discovered?"

"By the Queen."

"By the Queen?"

"And Lady Danbury." Kate exhaled, still feeling like her mind was playing severe catch up to the events of the night. "In…" Oh, her cheeks were hot with embarrassment. "In a… oh, alright, an unladylike position."

Edwina gaped at her, completely thrown by this turn of events. Steady, practical, no-nonsense Kate, to lose her head and forget herself so…

"The Queen is… most displeased, as you can imagine," Kate whispered, bowing her head. Oh, so many things had been changed because of tonight. "She wanted you to marry Anthony this season, after she chose you, after she made you the diamond, and now…" She took a deep breath, trying to be steady for the final blow that she must deliver. "Now, the fact of the matter is, he as a gentleman was caught… compromising… the honour of an unmarried lady, and now…"

She met Edwina's gaze and held it, silently imploring her sister to understand. "And now, Anthony and I are engaged. We are to be married. I… I will be Viscountess Bridgerton. I wanted to be the first to tell you."

A short distance away, Penelope came unfrozen from the archway wall; she had silently taken in every word of the conversation and knew then and there that she had now heard enough, too much, of what had to be an incredibly poignant and painful moment for the Sharma sisters.

Scarce daring to breathe, she slipped away from her position, thanking the soft padding of her shoes that allowed her to hurry away down the corridor without making any noise to attract notice to herself.

Now she definitely needed to speak to Colin.

Post Author Note: When I read the books, (And spoiler alert if you haven't!), I was astonished with the crazy difference between book-Edwina's 'meh' reaction about Kate and Anthony, vs the very long, drawn-out reaction and fallout stretching across multiple episodes in the TV show.

I've tried to aim for a middle ground here with how I'd imagine Edwina would feel, because both sides of that canon just don't sit right with me character-wise, and hopefully the result is passable without me turning this fic into a straight up Kate/Anthony fic instead! And don't worry: our regular Polin programming will resume in the next chapter.