AN: I figured it was time for an update, especially since it's the beginning of a new month. And I'm putting this on top so readers aren't forced to scroll all the way down to see my responses. I also finally finished reading the last two books in the latest series, and I have to say, they were surprisingly good compared to the last series. Though I do feel bad for Rowanstar and everything that happened to him... At any rate, thanks to Niqhtshadow, Clear Water and Somerandomperson for reviewing!
Niqhtshadow - Yep, it was definitely long overdue. And it is nice to hear from her again. As for what happens to her eye, you'll have to wait and see ;) Yeah, the newer arc is better than I expected. I wasn't overly fond with the last two, but maybe that's because it just seemed to run on forever. I agree with you on the original - nothing is ever going to challenge that series. The one thing I do like about the newer arc is how SkyClan finally came back. That in itself was long overdue.
Clear Water - Yeah, unfortunately they do seem to live up to their reputation. We'll see how that plays out though in the future... Smokefrost may surprise you in the end :P Yeah, it does feel as if they've rushed a bit in the last couple of books. But I do like Twigpaw and Violetpaw. Both seem to have interesting personalities, with Violetpaw being more reserved and Twigpaw being more expressive. And don't be afraid to post anything :) The best part of FF is that reviewers can help you in areas that need improvement, and whether or not the story itself needs improvement. Just keep trying, and don't give up :)
Somerandomperson - Russetstar is a bit of a jerk... though I'd say Icestar is worse. Smokey's gonna need one of those kits to be her apprentice if she wants to rise above the rest. But we'll have to wait and see what happens.
CHAPTER FIFTY TWO
Frost billowed into the air as she let out a heavy breath. Her movements were slow and careful as she stepped across the ice-coated ground. With her ears flattened and her tail flicking every now and then, she cast a side-long glance towards a cat following her pawsteps. She knew this tom by heart. His thin gray tabby fur brought out the light dancing within his eyes. His movements matched her own step for step. They were one with each other, and the connection they shared felt right.
Neither said a word as they closed the distance between themselves and the rabbit that was munching away on what little vegetation was left. She paused in her stride when the rabbit's ears flicked back in their direction. The gray tabby stopped as well, his own ears pricking forward in alarm. But he wasn't deceived by the prey's movements. Each pause gave the rabbit a chance to relax, and it gave them a chance to move closer until they were within chasing distance.
Just when the rabbit was about to spring away, she gave chase. Her partner had skirted further along the ridge to where she would chase the rabbit in his direction. This was a tactic they had used many times when hunting rabbits. She would stalk it until she was within chasing distance, then she would chase after it until her partner emerged from his hiding place. She never got tired of the thrill of the chase. Times like these were what she appreciated the most when they hunted together.
Amusement swept through her when her partner finally caught the rabbit. Once he stuck his paw out so that the rabbit would trip was all it took for him to catch it. Their hunt ended with a quick bite to the neck. She easily caught up with him as the gray tabby purred upon her approach.
"That was a good, clean hunt," he meowed apprehensively. "Hopefully this cold weather will end soon. Our Clan needs fresh-kill like this now with so many young mouths to feed."
She nodded in agreement as she tucked in beside him. WindClan had been growing in numbers since the days the Clans first formed. She could still remember the moons they would spend going hungry while making sure the queens and the elders were fed. As painful as it was, she wanted to ensure that the Clan had everything it needed for newleaf. Hopefully once newleaf came, the Clan would be better off. Until that time came, they would do whatever it took to make sure the Clan always had full bellies and that it was protected.
"I was worried when I spotted those RiverClan warriors along our borders," she admitted. "But it seems as if River has kept his word about maintaining the peace until newleaf."
Her mate looked a bit doubtful that River would maintain their promise. All five leaders had agreed that it was best to maintain peace during leafbare since prey was harder to come by. Some of the Clans had even shared hunting borders when it was needed. WindClan was the only Clan that didn't open their borders to anyone. They were capable of maintaining their dignity. Besides, there wasn't any point in risking the chance of an enemy reaching their camp.
After everything that had happened prior to the Clans forming, she didn't want to take any chances. The Clan's safety along with her family's safety meant more than she would ever admit out loud. And she would do whatever it took to keep them safe.
They sat there for a couple of heartbeats before she felt her mate rasp his tongue between her ears. A shiver of contentment swept through her at the feeling of his smooth tongue. She relished the rare moments they had to themselves. This leafbare had been hard on them - they lost one of their elders to greencough, and half of the Clan was still recovering from the sickness that had ravaged them. She even lost a life because of it, but she was thankful that her mate hadn't succumbed to the sickness.
She knew the outcome of those events could have been far worse. It was just another painful reminder of how fragile life was. But it was also another reminder of how strong their bond was. Even in the wake of destruction, they were still the same tight-nit family that kept them going in the first place.
"I think it's time we took this prey back to the Clan, Wind," he sighed after noticing that the sun was beginning to set. "Mothflight was worried that you would overexert yourself, and I'm afraid I've pushed you too far."
She stiffened at the name he called her by. She blinked a few times in shock as she looked at her mate, unsure of what to say. It suddenly felt as if someone had woken her up from a deep trance-like state as she finally locked eyes with him.
"My name is not Wind," she protested.
Her mate frowned and studied her face closely, as if he wasn't sure whether she was being serious or not.
"Maybe I did push you too far," his shoulders sagged in disappointment. "You are Wind, my mate and my love."
He pressed his muzzle against her forehead, but she pulled away before he could get any closer.
"N-No," she stammered. Her eyes widened in panic as she found herself frantically looking for anything familiar. She didn't recognize this territory. All of a sudden, it felt as if she was in a foreign land surrounded by strangers. "My name is Spruceleaf... I'm a warrior of WindClan, and you're certainly not my mate."
The thin gray tabby blinked a few times in disbelief. Spruceleaf ducked her head in embarrassment when he stood up and approached her. Her fur bristled defensively as she stared at him, feeling both embarrassed and panicked over his presence.
"Wind, my name is Gorsefur," he tried reminding her. Though the tone of his voice was gentle, she could tell that he was also concerned for her. Spruceleaf's ears flattened when she looked down at her paws, suddenly wishing a hole would open up and swallow her. "I know that this leafbare has been difficult, but that doesn't mean you should forget me."
No... No, this isn't right! Spruceleaf desperately wanted to wail that out loud. Her body went rigged with shock when he finally reached her, touching her flank with his muzzle. His scent flooded her senses, and her mind suddenly went foggy. Everything about Gorsefur was familiar, yet he still felt like a stranger. She wanted nothing more than to push him away and make a run for it. This wasn't right. She needed to get back to her own Clan.
"I... Maybe you're right," she whispered, feeling her ears flatten with resentment. "We should go back home."
Gorsefur nodded in agreement to that. Though his eyes still showed worry, he was relieved that she didn't argue any further.
He collected the rabbit and trailed alongside her in solemn silence towards a dip in the moor. Spruceleaf's ears pricked forward when she heard the sound of many cats in the distance. She stood over the rise for a few heartbeats, staring at the scene before her in astonishment.
Cats of all different ages and sizes were milling about the open scoop of land. Some of them were resting in the sun while others tucked into the fresh-kill pile hidden in a clump of ferns. She recognized a few of them as family, yet they weren't her family. Confusion swept through Spruceleaf as she tried to make sense of what was happening.
She let out a purr when she noticed two familiar cats in question approaching them. A gray tabby with amber eyes, and a white she-cat with soft green eyes. These cats were her kin. It felt as if she'd known them her whole life. She wanted nothing more than to touch their flanks with her nose and hold them close, that way she would never forget them.
"How are you feeling, mother?" the gray tabby tom asked. He was young and muscular, much like Gorsefur.
Spruceleaf could see his father in him, along with bits of herself. Though the white she-cat, Mothflight, was the one who kept staring at her curiously. It was almost as if Mothflight seemed to sense that not everything was right. Spruceleaf hoped that the others wouldn't see that. She wanted to spend more time with these cats. Maybe they could explain to her why they seemed so familiar.
"I think she's still feeling the effects of greencough," Gorsefur meowed gruffly. "She kept saying that her name was Spruceleaf, not Wind."
Embarrassment flooded through Spruceleaf when she felt the gray tabby's eyes on her. She was sure that his name was Dustmuzzle. It sounded familiar enough. When she locked eyes with Mothflight, she caught the younger cat's eyes widening in surprise.
"There are no Spruceleaf's in the Clan," Dustmuzzle pointed out in amusement. "Are you sure she didn't get enough sunlight? Maybe that's what she needs."
"I know very well who I am, Dustmuzzle," she snapped without missing a beat. The younger tom just blinked in surprise before flattening his own ears in embarrassment. She glowered at him and stood up after sitting for so long. "In fact, I feel more at home now than I ever have."
"Maybe... but perhaps I should have a look at you just in case," Mothflight mewed. She flicked her tail once and looked between Gorsefur and Dustmuzzle. "It isn't uncommon for cats to suffer from hallucinations when they have greencough."
Is that what this is? Spruceleaf wondered.
She shook her head at the thought, relieved when Mothflight indicated with her tail for her to follow. Spruceleaf did just that, ignoring the looks her mate and her son gave her. She wasn't sure how long she could keep this up without spilling everything. Other cats standing around them seemed to show their respect. She felt out of place here, yet it felt like home. She couldn't explain the rush of emotions she felt upon seeing so many familiar faces.
"It's good to see you again, Mothflight," she purred truthfully.
She looked beautiful, with sleek white fur that seemed to stand out among the green and brown dens. She hadn't missed the fact that Mothflight seemed stare at nothing in particular, though. Spruceleaf hesitated when she finally caught Mothflight watching her.
"This isn't real, mother," Mothflight suddenly informed her.
A lump formed in the back of her throat when Spruceleaf realized that Mothflight was right. She desperately wanted it to be real, though. She missed her family now more than ever. She longed for the days when peace ruled over the forest. It would never be the same again.
"You know I'm not your mother," she answered sadly.
Mothflight nodded, though she looked equally solemn as their eyes met briefly, "I wish it was real. But you died, seasons ago in StarClan. As did all of us. We are nothing more than free spirits roaming the world. This is a memory."
Understanding dawned on Spruceleaf. She recalled hearing the prophecy spoken by Leopardheart moons ago. Her father, who had done everything in his powers to make sure she remained safe, had mentioned that she along with four others were part of the prophecy, and that their revival would bring the Clans together again in a time of great crisis.
A shiver swept through Spruceleaf as she wondered if that meant something terrible would happen to the Clans. She knew that it would inevitably happen, but she had hoped they would have more time to prepare for the worst possible scenario.
"I don't understand why I'm having this dream if none of it is real," she meowed in frustration. "If this is just a memory, then why do I have it?"
Silence followed as Mothflight studied her for a few heartbeats. Spruceleaf felt the lump in her throat tighten when she noticed how quiet and thoughtful her daughter was. As strange as it sounded, Mothflight was her daughter by blood. It was ancestral blood, but they shared it nonetheless.
"I am unsure of how it is possible, but I have a feeling that StarClan was able to retain Wind's memories, along with the other four leaders," the white she-cat explained. "Perhaps they used those memories and passed them on to Spruceleaf when she was a kit. You are still your own cat, but you also possess the memories of Wind."
Her explanation was enough to leave Spruceleaf's mind whirling with even more confusion. How was it possible for her to have someone else's memories? Did that mean she wasn't Spruceleaf anymore? Did that mean Wind had her memories? None of what Mothflight said made sense.
But Mothflight's explanation did make one thing clear: She felt more alone now than she ever had.
"Thank you," she sighed, not really knowing what to do from there on.
Mothflight suddenly stood up and pressed her muzzle against Spruceleaf's forehead, letting out a quiet sigh of her own.
"There is no need to thank me, mother," she whispered, a purr rising in her throat. "I miss you... I will always miss you."
A shiver swept through Spruceleaf when Mothflight stepped back, green eyes still glowing as she and the moor began to disappear. She finally let out a wail when she realized too late that the dream faded away.
It wasn't until feeling someone's tail brush her flank that Spruceleaf nearly leapt to her paws. She let out a shaky breath when she found herself back in the forest along with the rest of SkyClan and the traveling cats. Flamestrike had been sleeping next to her, and his eyes were glowing with concern as he watched her.
"Did you have another nightmare?" he asked gently.
She quickly sat up and gave her chest fur a few quick licks, wondering about the dream she had. It wasn't quite a nightmare. True, it did scare her in the beginning to realize that she was walking in the pawsteps of another cat. But, it also made her realize that the prophecy had been real. That she had Wind's memories locked within her.
But I'm still Spruceleaf... does that mean I won't be in control of my mind? she wondered.
"I think we all need to talk," she whispered, gesturing between him, herself, Birdpaw and Reedriver.
The silvery RiverClan warrior was curled up between Acorntail and Frozenfoot. Spruceleaf narrowed her eyes at the sight. It was forbidden for cats to fall in love with someone outside their Clan. That part of the warrior code had always been engraved in their minds since leaving the nursery. Yet, she couldn't help but look away. After everything they went through, it made sense for everyone to feel closer than ever during the journey.
"Alright," Flamestrike nodded warily, still confused as to why she was so urgent to get them all together.
She knew at that point her dream was more than just a dream. She wondered with a start if anyone else had shared similar memories. Flamestrike had woken up several times wailing from some unseen force. Reedriver never showed any signs of retaining memories, but he could have been hiding it. Birdpaw had always shown that she retained Sky's memories during and before their journey to the mountains.
Her mind began to race with more questions than answers as she wondered what the point of having those memories was. They should have been given the chance to live their own lives. But they were given the memories of cats who were considered legends among the Clans. She tried pushing the anxious thoughts aside as Reedriver groggily woke up. He was soon followed by Birdpaw, who blinked a few times when Flamestrike explained why they were having a secret meeting.
Spruceleaf felt her fur prickle with unease as the three of them joined her in a semi-circle. They sat far enough away that the others wouldn't hear them. The last thing she wanted was for the others to pick up on what they were saying. Especially if they were only just beginning to understand what they were talking about.
"Do you want to explain to us why we were woken up in the middle of the night?" Reedriver complained through a yawn. Spruceleaf nearly rolled her eyes as Flamestrike sat down beside Birdpaw. The young warrior's eyes gleamed with amusement though as he acknowledged Reedriver with a tilt of his head. "I was just having a nice dream about catching a fat fish for the Clan."
"I'm sure it would have fed half of the nursery," Spruceleaf replied without missing a beat. She had had dreams like those when she was a kit. Now, she had dreams that were effecting her memories, and it terrified her to the core. "I've called you here because I want to know if anyone else has been having... interesting dreams lately?"
She wasn't sure what better way to describe it, but the moment Birdpaw and Flamestrike's eyes lit up was when she knew they understood what she was talking about. Reedriver was the only one who narrowed his eyes in annoyance.
"Ever since we started traveling over the mountains," Birdpaw admitted after shifting her paws uneasily. "I think it was even before that... I keep dreaming about a forest where our Clan was originally from. Our Clan is known for climbing trees and leaping down from them; we were great bird hunters before we were forced to move to the gorge."
I wonder if that's where the name of your Clan came from? Spruceleaf wondered. She caught Flamestrike looking at them apprehensively. His ears flattened as he looked down at the ground.
"Mine have been more like nightmares," he growled. Spruceleaf nodded in understanding - she had seen him wake up several times with the same haunted look. She had a feeling that his nightmares came from more than just that. "What are you trying to get at?"
"I think... what we are suffering from are the memories of our ancestors," she tried explaining. All three of them just looked at Spruceleaf as if she had sprouted wings. "Look, when I had my dream, I dreamt that I was... Wind. It all felt so real. And I remembered seeing my kits, and my mate."
The words came slipping out in a rush. Her heart ached at the memory of seeing Gorsefur, Dustmuzzle and Mothflight. She couldn't describe the rush of emotions that swelled within her as she pictured her family. Though she knew that they weren't her kits, it felt as though they had a deeper connection that went further than blood.
"You have kits?" Reedriver's eyes widened to the size of full moons, and Spruceleaf had to fight back a mrrow of laughter.
"No, harebrain!" she snapped. "Wind had kits. What I'm trying to say is, I think we have the memories of Wind, Thunder and Sky... and it's possible you have the memories of River."
Reedriver just stared at her with a look that said he didn't believe her. And for the first time, she wondered if he hadn't been having the same dreams they did. Guilt stabbed at her chest when she realized that he might have been completely normal compared to herself and the others. She suddenly found herself wondering if there was another cat in the Clans who had similar memories. They hadn't met Shadow yet, though she had a feeling that would soon change.
"I don't know about the three of you, but I do not have someone else's memories," the silvery tom hissed defiantly. "I'm not anything special, and I don't have some destiny on my shoulders. I don't want anything to do with this."
Surprise swept through Spruceleaf when he stood up and stalked away with a lash of his tail. The others just sat there in awkward silence until he rejoined Frozenfoot. With one last glare sent in their direction, he laid back down and closed his eyes.
I can understand why he wouldn't want anything to do with this, but I can't shake off the feeling that he's one of us. Spruceleaf's ears flicked back and forth thoughtfully as she wondered at what they would do once they returned to the lake. There was still so much they didn't know about this prophecy. As far as she was concerned, they had only scratched the surface of it.
"I know that it isn't in my place to say this, but he's only in denial," Birdpaw murmured quietly. Spruceleaf blinked in surprise as the smaller she-cat glanced at her thoughtfully. "Thank you for sharing this. It makes sense, now that I think about it."
"Even if it does make sense, it still doesn't explain why we were given these memories in the first place," Flamestrike pointed out. "What are we supposed to do with the memories of cats who are supposedly dead?"
Spruceleaf winced at the mention of 'dead'. She didn't know what they were supposed to do. StarClan hadn't given them any clear direction, and she had a feeling that they wouldn't be given any direction until the moment they were needed. Another shiver of unease swept through her as she tried to think of all the endless possibilities.
"Until we're able to figure that out for ourselves, I think it's best to keep this from the others," she meowed thoughtfully. Flamestrike looked at her in disbelief when she met his piercing gaze. "Look, Petalstar already knows about the prophecy revolving around us. And I'm guessing that others know about it as well. But until we understand what we're supposed to do, they can't know that we know. They're going to look to us for guidance, and we could be leading them down a darker path."
The silence that followed was unnerving. Spruceleaf heard the hoot of an owl in the distance, soon followed by the loud squeak of a mouse. She tried to ignore the sounds of the forest as Flamestrike finally nodded in understanding.
"Alright, I can see the point you're making," he sighed reluctantly.
"We should try making a point to meet every few days," Birdpaw suddenly suggested. "If what you said is true, then we need to stay connected somehow."
For a moment, Spruceleaf was sure that Flamestrike wanted to argue with that logic. Once they returned to the Clans, their lives would return to normal, and the boundaries would be set. But if her theory was correct, then they weren't bound by the warrior code like everyone else was.
"I think that's a good idea," she replied after giving it some thought. "We could meet at the barn, since it's neutral territory. Wildheart won't mind having visitors."
Luckily, everyone agreed with that idea. Spruceleaf just hoped that she was right, and they weren't taking a huge risk to meet with one another. She felt her fur prickle for the umpteenth time as she pictured Gorsefur looking at her with the same love she felt as Wind.
I will see you again in the stars, my love, a small voice reassured him. And she knew in that moment that they would be reunited once this was all over.