The picturesque beaches of Tsuki no Kuni were as serene as the brochures said. Gentle waves crashed onto the beach under the beaming sun in the clear, blue sky. A lovely, tropical getaway was touted as exactly what any newly wedded couple needed for a honeymoon, and that was holding to form thus far for the couple laying on lounge chairs by the water with a bucket of ice and Corona sitting between them.
The luxury of this getaway could be seen in their tight, put-on smiles and the crow's feet having a bonfire around their eyes. The cracks in their faces indicative of the Edo Tensei had been garnished by the newly formed stress lines running down from their tear ducts, but that was nothing compared to the clumps of hair in the sand beneath the heads of their chairs.
"This is nice, isn't it?" Minato remarked, the strain in his calm voice as strangled as the edges of his cloak trapped in his white-knuckled fists.
"Yep," Kushina muttered through gritted teeth, her fists in much the same state as Minato's.
"The honeymoon we never got to have was everything we could've dreamed of."
"Yep."
The continued crashing of the waves and the mild sea breeze overhead filled the silence that followed. They both kept their wide eyes locked straight ahead at the watery expanse, neither moving an inch to grab the alcohol between them or even look in any other direction.
"I hate this," Minato finally broke the silence, and the faux calmness of his tone had vanished. "I hate this so much."
"Oh my god," Kushina deeply sighed in brief relief that quickly returned to desperation. "This is fucking unbearable. Existence is pain, Minato!"
"Because we're not supposed to be alive at all! Minato stressed, the floodgates of mania pouring into his gaze as he jerked into a sitting position. "We're going against the natural order, Kushina!"
"Every second I'm alive is like a shrinking straight jacket on my soul," Kushina desperately lamented, her arms shakily snaking around her as her fingernails dug into her dress.
"Like a foulness is permeating my core while simultaneously bearing down on me from every possible direction," Minato added, his voice already growing hoarse with distress.
"Yes!" she shouted, jerking out of her chair and onto the sand. "Exactly that! But also nothing like that! Nothing and everything all at once; it feels… just so wrong!"
Her head twisted to face Minato so quickly that a loud snap was heard even over the crashing of the waves, and yet, she stared him down with wild eyes unabated until she just about teleported into his face with his collar snatched in her grasp. "We have to end this jutsu! We CANNOT keep going on like this! Take us back to Naruto so he can dispel us!"
"I can't, he wouldn't let me place a tag on him," Minato damn near whimpered, and Kushina dropped him back onto his chair and fell to her knees. "We'll have to undo the Edo Tensei ourselves."
"How?!" she pressed. "Only the caster can undo the jutsu!"
"Kushina, look at me!" he commanded, taking hold of her shoulders and meeting her manic gaze with his own. "We have reverse-engineered more complex jutsu than this before. If we put our heads together, we can do this. Besides, Naruto is half of you and half of me, so if we combine our chakra and then try some wibbly-wobbly Uzumaki bullshit with your clan's connection to the Shinigami, we can totally break the Edo Tensei down."
"Okay, okay…" Kushina nodded, slowly calming her nerves as best as she could. "Let's go to the temple. We'll find something that works there."
It had been yet another long day for the weary Toad Sage. The position of Hokage had proven to be as tiresome and overrated as Jiraiya had expected and more. Not only was he swamped in paperwork from the mass hysteria that enveloped the village surrounding shared yet still-unsubstantiated sightings of Minato Namikaze, but he was also dealing with the political fallout of the destruction of Takigakure. No one knew what the hell happened to cause an explosion massive enough to wipe out the entire village, Great Tree and all. Not even the handful of survivors that fled to Konoha as refugees had much useful information, but a surviving jonin did mention that their leader, Shibuki, had been deeply nettled about something in the preceding days.
Unfortunately, Shibuki was now very, very dead, as was 98% of Takigakure's population, so Jiraiya was unlikely to get any details about the sudden cataclysm. He was not ruling out a surprise attack, but the identity of the culprit or culprits would likely remain a mystery. A deep, prostrate sigh escaped him as he pushed the stack of paperwork aside and ran his hands down his face. This event was not a great one for Konoha in the long term.
Takigakure was an ally of Konoha at a time when those were nice to have. Relations with Suna had been more or less repaired when Tsunade treated the Kazekage after she was poisoned by Sasori, but that was mostly it as far as major military and economic allies went. Relations between Kumo and Konoha had been frosty but otherwise stagnant for over a decade, and they didn't seem to be changing any time soon. Iwagakure, on the other hand, had been fidgety lately, and it made Jiraiya nervous, but not for the reasons one would think. Iwa hadn't been probing Konoha's sphere of influence to test the waters for war, rather, they'd been probing Amegakure, and he knew that it was only a matter of time before Nagato retaliated.
Jiraiya really hoped Nagato would keep his promise to hold off on drastic measures until he at least gave him advanced warning…
"No, Nagato's a good kid," Jiraiya assured himself. "He'll be responsible and levelheaded about this."
He could at least be confident in that. Nagato was the furthest thing from a hothead, and even if his path to peace had taken a darker detour, it was fair to say that he wanted war the least out of everyone by virtue of Akatsuki's existence.
Still, even with that assurance in mind, the significant issue of Takigakure up and vanishing still remained. It grew even more dire when taking into account that they had a jinchuriki…
Jinchuriki.
Jiraiya's eyes widened, and then he face-planted into his desk with a thud. "Goddamnit, Tsuki no Me was behind it, weren't they?"
Then, a knock at the door pulled him out of his troubled musings. "Enter."
The door opened, and in stepped a lanky chunin with his headband styled as a bandana over his scalp and an eyepatch covering his left eye.
"Lord Hokage," he addressed with a salute, presenting a scroll with sapphire trimming to him. "The aviary received an official missive from the Mizukage."
"The Mizukage, huh?" Jiraiya mused, accepting the scroll. "Here's hoping it helps get some well-needed research done."
The thought of receiving photos of a scantily clad Mei Terumi brought on a goofy, lecherous grin accompanied by an even goofier, more lecherous chuckle. The chunin, meanwhile, just awkwardly stood there as his Hokage got caught up in imagining getting nudes via messenger hawk. At least, he did so until Jiraiya mercifully got a hold of himself and cleared his throat.
"Thank you, you're dismissed," Jiraiya nodded to him, and the chunin vanished from the office so quickly that he forgot to shut the door on his way out. Returning his attention to the scroll, he broke the seal and unraveled it, scanning over the message and landing on the important bits.
"A Kage Summit?" he wondered aloud as he read on. "In light of recent events regarding the state of the Four Great Nations- wait, what? Four?"
He scrunched his face in confusion. "That's a little rude. I know Suna's had a rough go of it in recent years, but so has Kiri-"
"Lord Hokage," interrupted a feminine voice from the doorway, and Jiraiya looked up to see an ANBU with long, purple hair entering the room, another scroll in hand, after giving a courtesy knock to the open door. "Apologies for barging in, sir, but we received an emergency missive from the Daimyo."
"The Daimyo?" he asked, taken aback by the urgency as he accepted the new scroll presented to him. "Better not be about his goddamn cat again. Thank you, Neko."
Neko saluted before flickering away, leaving Jiraiya to unveil the message from the highest authority in the nation. It was odd for his ANBU to bring him a missive from the Daimyo directly rather than the envoy from the capital being escorted to the office. He wondered just what could have possibly rattled him enough to get him this message so expediently.
Elsewhere in the village, Tsunade leaned back in her chair with a huff, resting her tired hands on her mahogany desk in her office. Another long day overseeing the village's entire healthcare system was nearly behind her. It was only nearly because she was still technically on the clock for thirty more minutes, but….
She eyed the bottom drawer of her desk to the right of her leg, and then her gaze shifted to the door before shifting back to the drawer. Slowly, she reached for the drawer and pulled it open, retrieving an unopened bottle of sake that she kept stashed away for long days.
Shizune would strangle her if she found out about this stash, and then she'd strangle her again for not sharing. Whatever; she wasn't here right now, so Tsunade kicked her feet on the desk, popped open the bottle, and raised it to her lips to take a well-earned swig of-
"WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO IWAGAKURE?!"
The sudden bellow heard across the village startled her so violently that the bottle slipped out of her grasp and shattered on the floor. Her precious sake spilled all over the bastard tiles that were staring back at her, mocking her misfortune. Her honey eyes were twitching at the sight of the escaping elixir, and her fist clenched before it inevitably rose into the air and slammed straight through her desk.
"JIRAIYAAAA!"
"Reiterate that, if you would. I regrettably must admit that I am not as young as I used to be, so perhaps my hearing has been addled by age."
"Iwagakure has been destroyed, Lord Danzo."
Danzo's stony countenance remained in place despite the monumental bit of information he had just received from his subordinate. "That is what I thought you said. How did it happen?"
"Information is sparse right now," the ROOT-nin informed, still kneeling before her leader. "Few survived from what we can tell, and even fewer survived their journeys through the arid terrain to nearby civilization. Mostly civilians. The common thread in their testimonies is that the attackers wore black cloaks with red clouds."
"Akatsuki?" Danzo mused in surprise. This was out of the ordinary for them based on the information he had gathered of them over the years. The closest they came to attacking a hidden village outright was assisting the rebellion in Kiri, and that was no doubt paid for by Mei Terumi and the resistance. What could have possibly spurred them to annihilate one of the Great Five?
Danzo supposed that it didn't really matter why it happened. It opened up a golden opportunity that he'd be a fool to pass on.
"Retrieve Fu," Danzo ordered her, and she nodded before turning to leave and do as instructed, but she paused mid-step and turned back around.
"Both," Danzo annoyedly answered before she could even ask, and she nodded once more as she flickered away.
With a grunt, Danzo leaned back in his throne in the secret, underground network below the newly constructed, aboveground administrative building of Otogakure. He was beyond proud of the rapid development of Oto over the last few years, and things had progressed even further without Orochimaru in his way. Picking up desperate strays and orphans from surrounding villages and offering them a secure livelihood as a shinobi was Recruitment 101, and there were plenty of willing candidates to snatch up from the rice paddies dominating the nation.
Those recruits would be funneled into the brutal shinobi academy overseen by some of his most competent and trustworthy ROOT. On a similar note, the occasional missing-nin, unwilling bandits, and disgraced samurai were offered a home in Oto under the condition that they went through reconditioning and added training with those same ROOT. Danzo had successfully fostered a decent enough military force for the nation that the Daimyo could fawn over, spurring him to throw even more money and resources toward the shinobi village's development.
The main problem was that Danzo himself couldn't be the public face of it all lest Konoha come knocking at Oto's door. So, for the time being, one of his ROOT had been playing the part of Otokage in public meetings with the Daimyo while Danzo ran the operation from the shadows. That was fine, as the other half of his shinobi force was confined to the shadows, as well. Orochimaru's various collections of experiments that he kept locked away around the continent had been subdued and wrangled into the bowels of Oto, as had all of his and Kabuto's research into human augmentation and sound-based ninjutsu.
What this all meant was that Oto was on the path to contending with and even surpassing the other minor villages separating the Great Five. This played right into the opportunity presented by Iwa's destruction, as a giant hole in the world stage had just formed, and it would need to be filled. Fortunately for Danzo, the field of viable options to rise up and fill that void had grown slim.
The first two villages that would come to mind were Kusagakure and Takigakure. Taki had apparently been leveled shortly after Danzo collected the jinchuriki, and Kusa hadn't ever really recovered from their leader being assassinated and their central administrative building being blown up years ago. It was safe to rule them out of potential expansion, at least for right now.
Then, there were other minor shinobi villages that served as little more than protectorates of other nations, such as Shimogakure and Ishigakure. Shimo wasn't likely to step on Kumo's toes by attempting to rise above their station, whereas the same would have been true for Ishi had it not been for Iwa's destruction. While there laid potential for Ishi to adopt and absorb the military load of Iwa, it would take a very long time for them to approach similar heights, assuming they ever did.
Finally, there were a few oddball candidates: Yugakure had dismantled its military some time ago, Yukigakure was simply too far away from the mainland, and Tanigakure was quite content with being a friendly buffer zone between Konoha and Suna. That simply left two potential candidates for filling the void on the main stage, and now that Danzo was thinking about the other one, a wrinkly frown began to blossom below the bandages on his face. Otogakure's primary competition in this race was Amegakure, the home of Akatsuki.
That was troubling.
Had Akatsuki destroyed Iwa with the goal of pushing Ame into the international spotlight with the big players, or was that simply an unintended consequence? Did it matter, ultimately?
Just then, a small, black bird made of ink flew into the room, indicating that he was receiving a message from Sai. Danzo reached into his cloak and retrieved a blank scroll, unrolling it to allow the bird to nosedive into the parchment and unveil its message:
The Mizukage has called for a Kage Summit in Tetsu no Kuni. Apparently, there was an attack that devastated Iwagakure, though I'm unsure of the exact scale of the damage. I shall inform you of the full situation when I have all relevant details.
"A Kage Summit…" Danzo mused aloud, and the gears began turning in his brain. "Yes… that could be just the moment."
A Kage Summit meant that the Hokage would be out of the village, likely with a few trusted guards. Danzo needed Jiraiya and Tsunade out of the way before he could move freely, and this gave him an opportunity to eliminate at least one of them.
"Ambushing and killing that fool alongside whoever he'll bring with him will be far easier said than done…" Danzo begrudgingly thought out loud once more. "Perhaps I could get some assistance."
Given that he could potentially be at odds with Akatsuki in the future, he should look elsewhere for help. Fortunately, Orochimaru used to be in league with one such group…
A pair of grey eyes framed by brown, shoulder-length hair and a white turban silently peered around the corner of a building in the heart of Sunagakure. Purple markings rested on the cheeks of the voyeur, cheeks that were being assaulted by chattering teeth within at the sight of none other than Pakura leisurely sitting at an outdoor table of a tea house.
"Okay, Maki, you can do this," she said to herself after a deep breath. "It's only your long-dead sensei who's apparently not dead and has been in the village for over a year now. No biggie."
"You got this, senpai!" a girl with brown, chin-length hair and her headband tied around her neck hyped her up from beside her.
"Thank you, Matsuri," Maki said with a small smile before sighing once again.
"Why am I here again?" groaned a third, reluctant voyeur, this one being Kankuro. "I could be doing literally anything else right now."
"Because Gaara-sensei is busy smoking pot with Baki, so he couldn't come," Matsuri answered.
"You could have chosen anyone else in the village, though," Kankuro bemoaned.
"You've spent a good bit of time around her since she's been here," Maki replied, and then her voice began to shrink. "You'll… know how to talk to her."
"You were literally her student," Kankuro deadpanned. "You probably know how to talk to her the best of everyone in this village."
"Talk about what?"
The three turned to see Pakura herself also peering around the corner with them at Pakura enjoying her meal at the table…
Wait, what?
"Holy shit!" Maki yelped, nearly jumping out of her skin at being discovered like this. "How??"
"I spotted you guys spying on me, so I switched myself out with a clone while you weren't paying attention," Pakura casually explained. "You could stand to be a bit more discreet, but I got ambushed before we could cover that in detail, so I won't hold it against you."
Any words that Maki attempted to get out were nothing more than incoherent sputters until the overflow of emotions began to overwhelm her. "Sen-sensei…"
Pakura simply opened her arms with a warm smile, and Maki tearfully fell into them, unleashing over fifteen years of grief that she kept buried until her sensei's shocking return from the dead unearthed them.
"I've been trying to work up the courage to speak to you for so long," Maki weakly murmured into Pakura's cloak.
"I know," Pakura revealed, softly rubbing circles into Maki's back. "Like I said, you're not the most discreet person in the world."
While Matsuri was smiling at the scene and Kankuro was trying to inconspicuously shuffle away, an ANBU appeared before them, cutting off Kankuro's escape. "Pakura, Lord Kankuro, Lady Kazekage requires your presence."
Pakura nodded at the summons and then gave Maki's back a final, reassuring pat before breaking the embrace. "We'll catch up later."
Obito stared up at the ceiling of his bedroom from atop his blanket. It was more appropriate to call the room a spacious chamber in the cave system that they called their home base, but Madara was no longer around to chastise him for holding on to his silly, human sensibilities. He hadn't been for a long time, and Obito would've been a liar if he said that he didn't enjoy that fact on some level.
Or multiple levels.
It wouldn't do to express those idle thoughts around Zetsu, though. Zetsu tended to become really pissy when Obito ruminated aloud about his lot in life should it stray even a touch too far from their ultimate goal. Black Zetsu in particular wanted him to remain locked in and pay no mind to frivolities like the innate human desire to bond and form relationships. In fact, the only times Black Zetsu would ever acknowledge that brand of humanity was when Obito would be sternly reminded of the hopelessness of having those bonds in the broken world they inhabited.
"The world is a cruel and unjust place. There is no harmony in the universe. The only constant is suffering. Do not forget your mission."
Obito huffed, tugging his body pillow closer as he shifted onto his side. Zetsu wasn't there either, at least for the time being, so Obito could enjoy this singular moment of unabated silence. There were no thinly veiled manipulation tactics to bear from Black Zetsu, no mind-numbing drivel from White Zetsu, and no snide remarks from either about his choice of pillow. The body pillow was specifically for added support to the right half of his body, as even so many years after the procedure that Zetsufied him, it still perpetually ached.
The fact that he named it Rin was wholly irrelevant.
Then, much to Obito's consternation, the shuffling of a Venus fly trap unearthing from the ground beside his bed drew his irritated attention.
"We're back!" White Zetsu joyously remarked.
"You don't have to announce your return every time you leave, Zetsu," Obito grumbled, sitting up from his mattress and turning a glare toward his arboreal assistant.
"It's the courteous thing to do," White Zetsu rebutted. "You never know what sort of debauchery you could be up to in your private time."
"Anyway," Black Zetsu irritably spoke up, both he and Obito ignoring his white half's joke, "there's news coming out of Iwa."
"As expected," Obito grunted. He wasn't a fan of Zetsu's plans regarding the Kyubi, and he was even less of a fan of Zetsu not running it by him first. Naruto Uzumaki was handed over to Ohnoki on a whim with the expectation that Obito could simply recapture the beast later on when the sealing inevitably failed.
Just because Obito could do that didn't mean that he wanted to.
"Actually, it's not," White Zetsu said, his grin vanishing and his tone growing more serious. "Not this particular outcome, at least."
Obito quirked a brow at that. "What happened?"
"Iwagakure was destroyed, but not by a rampaging Kyubi," Black Zetsu informed. "They were annihilated by Pain."
"Pain?" Obito queried, not expecting to hear that name until it was time to return to Amegakure.
"He and Konan caught wind of Naruto's capture, so they invaded Iwagakure and retrieved him themselves," White Zetsu answered.
Obito hummed, stroking his chin in intrigue. "So, Akatsuki destroyed Iwagakure, eh?"
"No," Black Zetsu corrected. "Pain destroyed Iwagakure."
"By himself?"
"Pretty much."
…Obito couldn't say that he was entirely surprised by that revelation. The Rinnegan's power was beyond comparison.
"Any survivors?" he asked.
"None of note, and not enough to matter," Black Zetsu answered. "Iwagakure will not rebuild from this any time soon."
Well, shit. This was anything but insignificant. Iwagakure was Tsuki no Me's best customer. Beyond that, it was one of the five major hidden villages, and it being wiped out by a party outside of those five was going to raise all sorts of international alarm bells. This situation could be deeply exploited.
"Well, regardless of whether all of Akatsuki invaded Iwagakure or simply those two, the wholesale destruction of a major hidden village flies in the face of their peace mission," Obito mused. "Even the allies they've already made will start growing wary of them, and it isn't something that those they haven't allied with can simply ignore. The Daimyo are all going to be nervous, and they just might compel their hidden villages to do something about Akatsuki."
"Already in motion," Black Zetsu replied. "The Mizukage called a Kage Summit to address this matter. They're set to meet in Tetsu no Kuni later this month."
"Should we crash it?" White Zetsu proposed.
"Do we have a reason to?" Obito questioned.
"That depends," Black Zetsu began, and another Zetsu clone emerged from the ground beside them with a scroll in hand. "Our services are being requested for the Summit."
"By who?" Obito asked, taking the offered scroll from the other Zetsu.
"Danzo."
Naruto could not move his limbs. Despite having gotten used to the feeling, it wasn't a cause for concern this time around. Rather than having his chakra sealed and his body restrained in foreign captivity, he was wrapped in a thick blanket like a giant, blond burrito and nestled firmly on a couch in front of a TV in the basement levels of the tower. Beside him and loosely wrapped in her own blanket was Konan lovingly running her hand through Naruto's hair. He had initially, albeit weakly, protested against the deluge of affection, but his protests were silenced in the face of a stern glare from Konan that said, "You haven't been home in over two years. Let me have this."
So, let her have this he did, allowing her to savor the time she had to spend with the child she took on and raised like her own. On the TV was a marathon of one of their favorite shows to watch together, It's Always Sunny in Kumo, and at their feet were two empty bowls of ice cream. Naruto's chains could phase through his clothing, but only up to a reasonable point, so it was inevitable that the blanket wrapped around him had two puncture wounds from the chains he employed to hold and eat his ice cream. He didn't have the benefit of paper that bent to his will like his mom, and the sly smirk she sent him every so often just rubbed that in.
Even so, both were enjoying the time they were getting to spend with each other. Naruto leaned into his mom's ministrations, and Konan sighed in contentment in the presence of her sunshine. She was thankful to have him back home.
So, naturally, she was taken off guard when he vanished in a puff of smoke indicative of a reverse summoning, leaving her alone on the couch. Blinking, it took her a moment to register what had just happened and why there was only emptiness in her grasp. When it finally sank in, she closed her eyes and took a deep, long inhale through her nose to calm her quickly boiling soul before slowly exhaling through her mouth.
"I am skewering the next salamander I see."
The iridescent splendor of the stagnant water surrounding the hut was what Naruto was greeted with upon arriving in Kuromizu Swamp. Blinking the surprise away and still wrapped in his blanket, he was left helpless to the red missile that tackled him, toppling him to the creaky floor of the porch of the hut.
"I told you to come back safe, you dummy!" Karin scolded him, locking him in an ironclad embrace while doing her damndest to maintain her composure.
"You told me to come back alive," Naruto cheekily corrected, but his mirth vanished when Karin's hands clamped onto the rolled edges of the blanket like vises, and he blanched at the wild intensity boiling out of her crimson gaze before she started throttling him.
"NOT GETTING CAPTURED WAS IMPLIED, SHITHEAD!" Karin loudly lambasted while practically rag doll-ing him out of the linen burrito.
Naruto plopped out of the blanket like a wet bar of soap, but golden chains yanked him back to the hut before he could earn himself an impromptu poison bath. Upon being rested back on the ground, he could finally, and very clearly, see the smoldering Karin beside an annoyed Tayuya with her arms folded.
Naruto sighed, a light chuckle slipping out of him. "Tayuya's rubbing off on you, I see."
"Not enough," Tayuya spoke up, glowering at him as she cracked her knuckles. "You don't have a black eye yet."
"Well, it's good to know you two care," Naruto fondly remarked, and before either girl could blink, silver chains lashed out and coiled around them, yoinking the two of them into his arms for a group hug. "I'm really happy to see you two again."
"Get the hell off of me!" Tayuya heatedly groused, but her tone belied her half-assed efforts to escape the embrace.
Karin, on the other hand, melted right into the hug and nestled into his T-shirt. "I'm glad that you're okay, Naruto."
Naruto returned the loving embrace in equal measure, but he was then surprised when another pair of slender arms wrapped around him in tandem with Karin's.
"Good that you're alive or whatever, shithead," Tayuya mumbled, looking anywhere but at the two Uzumaki she was hugging.
Then, it occurred to Tayuya that Naruto was in his pajamas, and her brow furrowed. "I don't think I've ever seen you without your cloak on… like, ever."
"You guys caught me while I was watching TV with Konan," Naruto chuckled, finally letting the two go. "Speaking of…"
A chain snaked out of his body and crawled over the collar of Karin's cloak before snagging something unseen. When it retracted, out came Aoimori by his tail looking like an amphibian in headlights.
"She's definitely going to strangle you the next time she sees you," Naruto said to his partner without any hint of apology.
"C'mon, old buddy, do-don't be a snitch!" Aoimori frantically pleaded as he wiggled in the chain's grasp.
"I'm messing with you, dude," Naruto relented with a laugh, letting Aoimori fall slack in relief before releasing him. "Is Han still here, or did you guys send him back already?"
"He's inside," Karin answered, thumbing to the hut and ushering Naruto inside. "I looked him over when we got here. He should be rested enough by now."
Stepping inside, Naruto was greeted by Han sitting on a dingy couch in front of a black cauldron with a blanket discarded beside him and a cup of tea in his hands. Sitting across the cauldron was a man-sized axolotl sporting a dark green cloak covering his body past his external gills. Behind him were a workbench and a wall full of shelves stocked with jars of all sorts of herbs, oils, ointments, and concoctions.
"So, even though you maintain your gills through adulthood, you have a fully functioning set of lungs and can breathe through your skin?" Han questioned, and the axolotl nodded in confirmation. "Fascinating..."
Naruto couldn't help but smile at seeing Han interact with Ahorotoru, Kuromizu's resident shaman. He may have been mute and a bit of a recluse, but he was the best damn healer in all the sage regions short of Katsuyu.
"Great to see that you're up and active, Han," Naruto greeted with a grin before waving at the amphibious medic. "Good to see you, too, Ahorotoru."
Ahorotoru waved back with a smile, whereas Han sent him a trepidatious nod. "Thank you. It's certainly fortuitous to be back in good health…"
He lingered on that note as if he had more to say, but nothing came next. However, Naruto could see the turmoil in his gaze, so he remained quiet and allowed him to gather his thoughts and speak what was ailing him.
Eventually, Han did. "I deeply apologize for getting you captured, Naruto."
That took Naruto aback despite expecting some sort of distressing statement. "Han, it wasn't your fault."
"You exhausted your energy catching us and were left vulnerable as a result," Han insisted. "Kokuo and I feel responsible for the trouble we caused you and Pain."
Naruto was silent for a long moment as he chewed on that statement. "…I don't think getting me back from Iwa was any trouble for them."
"About that," Tayuya stepped forward and spoke up. "Does Iwa still…?"
"No," Naruto succinctly answered.
"Would you mind explaining what happened after the explosion?" Han asked, placing down his cup of tea.
"Yeah, Aoimori only gave us the story up until he left with Han," Karin spoke up next, the salamander in question taking up residence on her head. "What happened afterward?"
Naruto sighed, sitting down in the chair that Ahorotoru pulled out for him and sending him a thankful nod. "That shadowy creature that accosted me was Zetsu, the fake Madara's right hand man. He fed me to Ohnoki in the hopes that they'd try to rip the Kyubi out of me and ultimately fail to reseal him. The goal was that once he was free and destroying the village, Imposter Madara would swoop in and capture him again like he did the day I was born."
"Clearly, that didn't work," Tayuya pointed out.
"Tell me about it," Naruto chuckled.
"So, Iwa," Han prompted.
"There isn't much to tell," Naruto shrugged. "Nagato and Konan figured out where I was, and they came to get me."
It was clear to everyone present from his mildly avoidant response that Naruto didn't particularly want to talk about the nitty-gritty of it. Ahorotoru handed him a cup of tea, to which he thanked him and took a long sip.
Han, however, read between the lines. "How do you feel?"
Naruto took a moment to mull it over. "I'm…"
He went quiet again, this time staring into the steam wafting out of his cup of tea. "…I'm not ecstatic about it. I'm not broken up about it either, though. Ideally, you don't want to commit genocide, but…"
"What a fucking sentence," Aoimori muttered before wincing at a flick to the head from a glaring Karin.
Then, Ahorotoru stepped over and tapped his shoulder, using the Salamanders' variant of sign language this time to communicate something to Naruto once he had his attention.
"What's he saying?" Karin asked.
"That genocide and mass murder are two distinct things," Naruto answered with a sigh, "which… is fair, I guess."
"I really think we're losing the plot here," Tayuya interjected with a sigh and her hand on her temple. "Look, you have to crack a few eggs to make an omelet, and you know that. Akatsuki's ultimate goal is world peace, right? Well, not only has Iwa been standing in the way of that by provoking war, but they went and committed the ultimate sin of kidnapping Akatsuki's mascot."
"Mascot??" Naruto indignantly sputtered, but Tayuya cut back in.
"The point is that getting our hands dirty was an expectation when we decided it was a good idea to shack up with mercenaries and take on the world order," Tayuya stressed. "Besides, Iwa had it coming. They fucked around and found out. Nothing else to be said."
"Yeah, they definitely did," Naruto chuckled. "I just wish a whole village's worth of civilians that had nothing to do with anything didn't get caught in the crossfire. Wouldn't have needed to happen at all had I not been enjoying the smell of my farts a bit too much and gotten myself captured."
Tayuya simply shrugged. "I did some pretty heinous shit in my time under Orochimaru. I've got enough innocent blood on my hands to last several lifetimes. You all gave me a second chance that I frankly didn't deserve."
"Do not forget, I was an Iwa shinobi once upon a time, Naruto," Han also chimed in. "My hands were bloodied long before I joined Akatsuki in many ways that I don't often wish to retread."
Even Ahorotoru stepped up to ease Naruto's mind with a non-verbal confession of his own. However, Naruto's quickly paling complexion indicated that it had the complete opposite effect.
"Dude, what the fuck??" Aoimori balked at the admission, physically cringing atop Karin's head.
"…Do I even want to know what he just said?" Tayuya hesitantly asked the room.
"It's about time for us to head out anyway," Naruto switched gears, rising from his seat. "Thank you for tending to Han, Ahorotoru. Can either one of you send us all back?"
Ahorotoru serenely nodded back as Aoimori hopped down from Karin's head and allowed the four humans to congregate. One quick sequence later, Naruto and co. were returned to Amegakure.
"All I wanted was to spend some time with my goddamn son. Is that too much to ask, Nagato?"
"No, it is not," Pain sighed, resigning himself to allowing Konan to vent her frustration the one day he decided to get some paperwork done.
Konan continued, pacing back and forth through the office all the while. "After all the trouble we endured to rescue him, he and I were having such a pleasant evening eating ice cream and watching TV. Do you know the last time we were able to sit down and do that?"
"Three years ago-"
"THREE YEARS AGO, Nagato!" she fumed, her skin idly flaking into strips of paper in her agitation. "It had been three whole years since either of us had an overlapping moment of leisure to enjoy our favorite TV show!"
Suddenly, a group of four appeared in the middle of the office in a large puff of smoke, and there stood Naruto in his pajamas surrounded by the returning Karin, Tayuya, and Han.
"See, Konan?" Pain motioned to the group. "It all worked itself out eventually."
Naruto didn't even get a chance to speak before he was wrapped in paper, yet again restricting the movement of his limbs.
"You are banned from being reverse summoned for at least a month," Konan sternly informed, and Naruto knew better than to pitch a fit, simply allowing her to fuss over him.
"Pain," Han addressed with a salute. "The mission was successful."
Han then paused for a moment, his eyes darting away from his leader. "Notable snags notwithstanding."
"At ease, Han," Pain said. "What's done is done. Everyone is back and in good health. That is a success."
Then, he formed a chakra rod and broke it into four pieces. "With Utakata and Hotaru remaining in Kiri for now and Pakura in Suna, we'll have to conduct another remote meeting. Each of you, take a shard and pierce yourself with it."
Hesitance initially flashed over the faces of Tayuya and even Karin, but Naruto and Han's nonchalant compliance spurred them to grab their shards as well. Once each of them was connected to a chakra rod, the room's occupants vanished, reappearing deep under the tower in front of the Animal Path and the Gedo Statue. They each hopped onto a finger while Pain called for Pakura, Utakata, and Hotaru through the Ghost Lantern Jutsu.
Seconds later, their projections appeared, and all of Akatsuki was present.
"Good, we're all here," Pain began. "I trust you are all abreast of recent events?"
"Temari just informed me, actually," Pakura spoke up in a tone that suggested she was still processing some information. "I can only assume that you were the one to wipe Iwagakure off the map."
"Indeed," Pain confirmed.
"Fuck…"
"So, with that potential war nipped in the bud," Karin assessed. "Are we focusing our efforts exclusively on eliminating Tsuki no Me?"
"Not quite," Pain answered. "The Mizukage has called for a summit. We shall be attending."
"Right, Lady Mei offered to pay us to watch over Kiri in case something happened while she would be gone," Hotaru mentioned, and Utakata nodded in confirmation.
"Wait, 'we,' as in all of us?" Karin questioned.
"Myself, Konan, and Naruto will be attending the summit proper," Pain clarified.
"Um, maybe I'm being just a little presumptuous, but…" Tayuya spoke up with a furrowed brow. "Aren't Kage Summits for, well, Kage?"
Pain merely shrugged. "And who exactly is going to tell me that I'm not one?"
"Valid," Tayuya acquiesced, as did everyone else.
"What of Tsuki no Me, then?" Han asked. "It stands to reason that they would use an event like this as another opportunity to strike."
"I'm not so sure," Pain mused. "As it stands, every time they have made a play at a jinchuriki of Akatsuki, they have lost numbers. On one hand, it would behoove them to regroup and focus their efforts on the other jinchuriki still loyal to their villages."
"I haven't had contact with Roshi in many months," Han lamented. "I can't say one way or the other of his status."
"Same with Bee and Yugito," Naruto added. "The Raikage hasn't flown off the handle, so I assume they're okay, but I really don't know."
"Gaara's fine," Pakura shrugged. "He's high as a kite right now, but he's safe."
"That only leaves the Nanabi jinchuriki," Konan rounded them off. "Takigakure was also destroyed, so I can only assume that Tsuki no Me paid a visit."
"I wouldn't even be able to tell you who they were, in all honesty," Naruto somberly admitted. "Itachi didn't know, either. 'Madara' and Zetsu wouldn't tell him, and Taki did a decent enough job keeping a lid on it."
Pain turned his gaze to Naruto. "On the other hand, the fact that Zetsu came out and attacked you directly means that he and Madara may be growing desperate, especially if his stated reasons were as you said. There's potential that Madara will step out of the shadows and act in the open."
Naruto's eyes widened. "Then his most likely target…"
"Would be me," Pain nodded. "We know for certain that they have the Sanbi, and we can reasonably assume that they have the Nanabi, as well. If the rest of his organization cannot collect the others, then the logical solution would be to do so himself."
"And the best way to do that would be to start with the biggest threats and then work your way down," Naruto surmised. "So, that's why the three of us are the ones going. We're live bait to draw him out and end things once and for all.
"Precisely," Pain confirmed.
"Wait, but wouldn't it just be easier to take one of us hostage and ransom the Rinnegan from you, if that's what he wants so badly?" Hotaru asked. "Why would he risk having to fight you for it?"
"A hostage is only a good one when you can follow through on your threats of harm," Pain explained. "He wouldn't be able to kill Naruto, Han, or Utakata because he needs them alive, but he also wouldn't be able to do anything with them without my Rinnegan. Fighting me outright is just the simpler option, and once he has my eyes, he can begin the hunting and sealing of the biju in earnest."
"So, another big blowout on the horizon," Pakura sighed, a sentiment shared amongst most of the room. "Where do you want us?"
The roar of a gargantuan wave bellowed through the barren landscape as an Exploding Water Shockwave rumbled toward Sasuke. Unmoving, Sasuke simply glared at the incoming wave, his Mangekyo Sharingan spinning to life as a purple, ethereal ribcage formed around him. The titanic wave crashed into him like a storm surge, but Sasuke was unmoved, the cocoon steadily swelling in size as even more ethereal bone and tissue sprouted from the ribcage into a developing skeleton.
Beneath the surface, a lightning-fast blur zipped through the rushing water while Jugo maniacally blasted above, both on a collision course for Sasuke. The blur surfaced from the water like a rocket-powered shark, revealing a twice as monstrous Isaribi rearing to pulverize him right as Jugo completed his advance and threw a transformed fist. The combined collisions produced a shockwave that shook the terrain, but the assault wasn't done yet, as the surrounding water bubbled and rose into a hulking, Suigetsu-shaped mass that raised its arms and slammed them into the ghastly chakra construct.
Just like before, however, Sasuke remained undeterred, and the early makings of his skeletal Susanoo forced them all back with merely a swipe. His attention then went upward to Yukimaru leaping into the air high above them and readying a jutsu.
"Water Style: Giant Vortex!" Yukimaru called before spitting a massive torrent of water that spun like a drill as it barreled toward Sasuke like a freight train.
The vortex of water crashed into the Susanoo and the surrounding water with such force that the immediate area damn near exploded with water, washing nearly everything away and cratering the impact zone something fierce. When the dust settled and Yukimaru came back down to Earth, the demonic splendor of Sasuke's skeletal Susanoo rose above the water like an infallible titan.
"That's enough," Sasuke declared, and all activity around him ceased. His Susanoo dissipated, and his Sharingan deactivated.
"Holy hell," Suigetsu balked as the others loosened up. "If that jutsu didn't get through, then fucking nothing will. That shit is indestructible!"
"Doesn't seem like anything is piercing it," Isaribi added, her fishy appearance receding and allowing her humanity to return. "You might just have the ultimate defense on your hands."
"A scary one, too," Yukimaru said, ambling over to the group. "You'd have to be a real brave soul to face that down."
"The brave man is not he who feels no fear, but he who conquers it," Jugo contributed once he fully came down from his transformation, allowing a bird to lithely land on his finger.
Isaribi, Suigetsu, and Yukimaru could only send a tired, collective sidelong glance at him, meanwhile, Sasuke's attention was rooted firmly on the new arrival sitting on a nearby rock formation that just barely survived the tidal wave.
"You're making excellent progress with your Mangekyo Sharingan already, Sasuke," Madara complimented, earning the full attention and unease of the others.
Yukimaru and Isaribi were particularly wary of him, no doubt seeing an even worse Orochimaru in him with his designs for Sasuke. Jugo, on the other hand, didn't know what to think of Madara, as another Sharingan user was just someone else who could pacify him when he lost himself to his madness, which was a net positive in his book. Suigetsu, meanwhile…
"Hey, where's Kisame?" Suigetsu made a show of demanding in order to mask the fear in his voice every moment Madara was around. "We never got to finish our spar."
"He's away running an important errand for me in Kumo," Madara waved him off before returning his gaze to his one remaining clansman.
"What do you want?" Sasuke cut to the chase with a narrowed glare.
"Some goddamn ibuprofen that works would be nice, but that's neither here nor there," Madara grumbled. "How are those skin grafts and chakra infusions working for you?"
Sasuke grunted, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of admitting that he was feeling the best he ever had after receiving whatever chakra was in those spores. "Answer my question. What do you want?"
Madara fixed him with a long, assessing look through his singular eyehole, and Sasuke's Sharingan spun back to life to meet the red glow emanating from beneath the mask.
"What are your goals, Sasuke?" he finally spoke. "What is it that you and Hebi seek to accomplish now that you've awakened your true power?"
If Sasuke was at all taken aback by the inquiry, his poker face would clean Tsunade out six ways to Sunday. "We are no longer Hebi. From this moment on, we are Taka, and our ultimate goals are the destruction of Konoha and Akatsuki."
Then, Suigetsu scrambled beside Sasuke and whispered something into his ear before scrambling back out of dodge. "And collecting the Seven Swords of Kiri or whatever."
Madara nodded, lightly tapping his fingertips together. "Cool, cool; before you do that, though, I need you to do something for Tsuki no Me."
Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at him. "Do what?"
"It appears that we are being commissioned for an assassination mission," Madara answered.
"That doesn't concern me or my team."
"Oh, it might. The person commissioning us is Danzo."
Sasuke's silence was louder than even the destructive tidal wave from earlier. His suspicious glare had darkened into a hateful scowl, and his Sharingan idly began spinning once more.
"Yes, that Danzo," Madara chuckled. "He would like us to assist him in killing the Hokage and his aids at the upcoming summit in Tetsu no Kuni. If the destruction of Konoha is what you seek, then perhaps the man who orchestrated the massacre of your clan is a good place to begin?"
Sasuke remained silent but didn't tear his glare away from Madara for even a moment.
"And hey, if you're feeling froggy, you can do in Danzo and the Hokage in one fell swoop," Madara went for the kill. "It'll get your destruction of Konoha started on a high note. Whaddya say?"
Sasuke's glare hardened, and his fist briefly clenched before it went slack. "Y'know, I know that you're playing me, but you're right."
He turned to the rest of his team who were listening intently and waiting for his direction. "Taka, we're going to Tetsu."
Nagato is still working under the assumption that Obito and Zetsu need his Rinnegan one way or the other.
That Wolves take aged like milk, but as a miserable Hawks fan, I refused to root for Dallas or Boston. Darkest timeline.
Thanks for reading.