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She'd spent the day beating herself up over what she'd done, trying to atone for it. Tyreese had gone on the run with Daryl, but before he'd gone he'd asked Carol to watch over his sister Sasha. He'd said "I know how you are—you care". If he only knew what her caring had led to. She said to him that she was sorry about Karen. He would never know how much.

When the water barrels were empty—empty as much because she had kicked them over in an agony of remorse and anguish as because the line was mudded up—she went out to clear the line. Clean water was a necessity. None of them could survive long without it.

In the process, she nearly got herself eaten by walkers, and was saved only by Rick's appearance.

Later, he found her near the refilled water barrels, filling buckets for the people in quarantine.

"That was a stupid thing you did. Going out there like that."

"Yes, it was."

Rick came down from the guard house. "You know, you do a lot for us, for the kids. You sacrifice a lot."

Carol held her breath, wondering if he knew.

He hesitated, holding her gaze. She didn't move, didn't speak, didn't give an inch. He leaned forward. "Is there anything you wouldn't do for the people here?"

"No."

When he didn't speak, she turned from him, walking away with the water, stopping only when Rick called her name. She waited while he struggled with the question. "Did you kill Karen and David?"

She didn't bother to lie. He was certain, or he wouldn't have asked. "Yes." For a moment, she held still, waiting to see what he would say. But he said nothing. And there was no time, anyway. When this crisis was over, if any of them survived, she would hear from him again, she was sure. But for now, they were two of the only well people in a prison full of the sick and dying. None of them could afford to be distracted.

"We're going on a run," he said abruptly the next time she saw him.

"Are you sure that's safe? There are so few of us still healthy."

"We need food. We're going." And he turned away. Carol wondered what his intention was—would he try to kill her in retaliation for what she had done? Would he leave her somewhere? Whatever he planned, it was best to say her goodbyes, she decided.

She didn't go to the quarantine, where Mika was. Beth would suspect something. Recently, Beth had grown. She had hardened. She had cut off her feelings and she simply … existed. It was a hard way to live, but this was a hard life. Carol wasn't about to argue with her. But this new Beth would know something was wrong.

Instead, Carol went to the sick ward and sent someone for Lizzy. When she appeared, the girl looked fine. Faintly feverish, but she had the illness lightly, it seemed. Carol felt better about leaving her, looking at her, seeing the clear eyes.

Lizzie reported that no one had died yet, but she said she expected they would. "Makes me sad, but … at least they get to come back."

Carol felt a chill. How could the girl misunderstand so completely? "Lizzie, when they come back, they aren't … People aren't who they were."

"Yeah, but they're something. They're someone."

Her words reminded Carol of the barn, of Hershel holding onto the walking bodies of the people he'd loved, of … Sophia. Sophia hadn't been someone. Not any longer.

"I'm little now," Lizzie went on. "If I don't die, I'll get big. I'll be me, but I'll be different. It's how it is. We all change. We all don't get to stay the same way we started."

It was one way of looking at the world. Carol supposed she couldn't be too hard on the girl—she had grown up in this world, and that was enough to twist anyone's point of view. But she had to understand. "Lizzie, it's more complicated—"

"You said I was weak. I'm not. I'm strong, so I'm telling you what I think."

Carol wasn't going to argue with her any longer. Lizzie was showing her who she was; Carol would respect that. "You remember what I told you to do when there's danger?"

"Run as fast as I can."

"You run and run until you're safe. And if it's your life or your sister's life, you can't be afraid to kill. Understand?"

"Yes."

"You are strong, Lizzie. You're gonna live. You, your sister, and me—we're gonna survive. I know it." Although maybe not together. Carol would have to accept that, and hope she had given them the tools they needed. She told the girl how to tuck her shirt behind her knife so she could reach it quickly.

"Yes, Mom. I mean, ma'am."

The word shocked her, like icy water down her back. "Don't call me Mom."

As she was thinking it was time to turn away, Lizzie spoke again. "I'm not afraid to kill. I'm just … afraid."

"You can't be." Fear killed. It killed faster than anything else Carol had seen.

"How?" Lizzie asked. For the first time, tears started in her eyes.

"You fight it. And fight it. You don't give up. And then one day, you just … change." When had it been? When Sophia went missing? When she came out of that barn? When the farm fell? The months on the run afterward? Carol couldn't have said. "We all change."

"Okay."

They looked at each other, but they had run out of things to say. "Well, I'll see you," Carol said, unwilling to admit that she didn't think she was coming back.

"Be careful."

She nodded, leaving Lizzie there. Outside, Rick was waiting by the car. "You ready?"

Carol took a look at the prison, which had offered so much hope once. She wished she could wait for Daryl, but … he would understand. "As I'll ever be."