Chapter 5: That Gryffindor courage
Another week passed in tension and anxiety, at least as far as Hermione was concerned. Ever since her first tutoring class with Draco, she had actively tried to get his attention or bump into him in the hallways but to no avail, he was swifter than the wind. It didn't matter how much she would stalk the Slytherin or worse, stare at him from across the Great Hall, he would simply not meet her gaze and she knew for a fact that he was aware of her constant observation. Could she really blame him for not wishing to acknowledge it? Hermione wondered what was going on through his head, having her permanently in his shadow. She understood that if the roles had been reversed, she would be absolutely mortified.
Additionally, Hermione found it harder and harder to concentrate on her studies; apparently, knowing the future was not that great after all. She was aware of everyone's movements, thoughts, and intentions and had to puzzle all the pieces in an already-established timeline. She took a moment away from staring at her frozen fingers to look up at the sky, a pair of Quidditch players entering her line of vision. As scheduled, she was present at the Quidditch tryouts and while in her other reality she had been there to show her support for Ron, now, she was there for fear of raising suspicions if absent.
As if on cue, Ron flew past the other players and positioned himself to the defense of the goalpost. She had waved to him earlier, as encouragement to counteract Cormac Maclaggen's intimidation attempts. Speaking of, Cormac kept looking at her, hoping his charms would work on Hermione, oblivious to her blatant disinterest. In another life, she would have been flattered. And a little grossed out. But currently, she simply had no mental space for him. She could barely contain consideration for Ron and for heaven's sake, he was supposed to be her future husband and the father of her children. Yet, mockingly, her head was full of Draco Malfoy.
Hermione was supposed to get closer to him however, it felt as if with every calculated effort, he got further and further away. She berated herself internally for thinking her plan would be achievable in a short amount of time and considered changing tactics. Simultaneously, she crossed that thought off her list, realizing that one wrong move could endanger her whole mission and settled on waiting out his anger and doubts while gently making her way into his soul. But this was proving to be extremely difficult. He was not rational like Harry, not gullible as Ron, not even impressionable as Cormac. Draco was focused, detached and cold. Simply impossible.
A round of cheers redirected her attention to Ron as he guarded his goalpost once again, showcasing the most awkward of positions while doing so. He always tried his best. Even in their marriage, he tried what he thought was his best, especially at the beginning. He allowed their differences to fall on him, ignoring how often they disagreed, believing that having children would bring them closer. How tragic to see quite the opposite happening. Hermione's frustrations piled up and she had no one to turn to and vent. Ron could always go to his Mother, to Harry, to his siblings while Hermione had to go to…her books. But there's only so much a book can do.
She whispered the Confundus charm just in time for Cormac to miss his defense and thus enable Ron to win his position as goalkeeper. Her feelings for Ron had considerably dwindled but not enough to deprive him of what was supposed to be his. He deserved to be part of the team and he needed his friends to believe in him. A row below her, Lavender Brown kept squeaking and cheering Ron on, clearly in love with him to the point of unhealthy obsession. She remembered how her other self felt, blatantly competing with the Brown girl for Ron's affection and how much it hurt to be disregarded and ignored because of her. Hermione sensed her face wrinkle up at the memories and particularly at the feeling of pettiness that guided her actions once and she could only feel remorse at the moment. Remorse for never voicing out her feelings clearly to Ron. Remorse for the girl's death. And guilt that perhaps she would have still been alive if only Ron had protected Lavender instead of her.
Hermione shook her head, curls swaying with the motion. She didn't need to dwell on matters that had not happened yet, not when the power to change the future was in her hands. For now, Hermione would leave Ron to Lavender's whims and she would focus on her own troublesome interest. After all, it was Thursday and her next tutoring class with Malfoy was about to start in 20 minutes.
She made sure to arrive a bit earlier to set up her books and therefore avoid making him wait for her. Anything to set off his displeasure and compromise the lesson. She scanned the library and exhaled a sigh of relief, content to see no one familiar in sight. Hermione hadn't settled on a plausible reason for why she was tutoring Draco Malfoy and were Harry or Ron to find out, she would be in trouble.
She noticed he was running a bit late and so Hermione filled her waiting time with rereading some of the passages she had to tutor him on. It was not hard to admit she had missed Hogwarts, particularly the library. Sadly, Hogwarts had been the happiest time of her life although during those days, she had foolishly believed she would go on to achieve grand things. It was no secret that she wanted to become an Auror as well but both Ron and Harry had advised against it. Again, those two meddled in her life and dictated the course of her needs. If only she had been braver with her own feelings, she wouldn't have ended up in a boring Ministery job, filling documents and returning to a home governed by her mother-in-law and a pushover husband. They say happiness resides in small things so why was she so unhappy?
Unable to digest her thoughts any longer, Hermione checked the time again and reached a grim conclusion: that bastard was not late. He was simply, not coming. The old Hermione would have given up. She would have gathered her books and gone to meet with Harry and Ron but the new Hermione had experience, especially when it came to dealing with pompous males. And since desperate times called for desperate measures, Hermione rose to her feet gracefully and left the library, her feet carrying her over to the most unexpected of destinations.
As if in a trance, she went through a door on the right side of the Entrance Hall and descended the steps into the dungeons, where the Slytherin Common Room was located. It was impossible to ignore the stares Hermione was getting; Slytherins of various ages were eyeing her Gryffindor robes while some of them recognized her instantly, whispers blooming in her wake. She was not welcome there but they were all so aghast by her presence there that they were unable to say anything which to Hermione, was perfectly fine. Consequently, she was allowed to make her way straight to the entrance undisturbed, where she posted herself confidently next to Theodore Nott who remained paralyzed at the sight of her.
"Hello," Hermione greeted, seemingly unaware of the absurdity of the situation. "Could you please inform Draco that I am here to see him?"
Theodore blinked at her, unsure if to laugh or scoff. He looked around at the other fellow Slytherins hoping to find an answer or at least, a reassurance that he was not hallucinating but found none.
"You see, I would go fetch him myself but since I'm not allowed to enter other houses' common rooms, I'm forced to rely on your assistance," the Gryffindor witch supplied further explanations, hoping to speed the whole process up.
Fetch him? Theodore mused. Draco is not going to like this one.
Hermione had no idea if Theodore made any sense of the circumstances but he did open the entrance and step inside, looking behind him as he disappeared behind the wall. Either way, she was not going to leave, not until Draco came to meet her.
OOO
Clueless to the outside commotion, Draco Malfoy was presently seated in a plush armchair near the fireplace in the Slytherin Common Room, legs crossed casually, mind drifting freely to the darkest of places. He was wearing a light frown in contemplation which only deepened with Nott's arrival.
"What is it?" He asked in a deadpan tone.
"You're not going to believe this but, Hermione Granger is waiting for you outside our Common Room," Theodore said, his awe-struck face proof enough that he was telling the truth.
Draco's eyes gleamed with malice as he carefully asked: "What did you say?"
"I am not kidding, Draco. She told me to come fetch you," the boy replied, a glint of sarcasm seeping through his tone as he emphasized the offensive verb. To Draco's dismay, Blaise Zabini also popped into view, having clearly eavesdropped on the conversation. He placed an elbow on Nott's shoulder, leaning in consiprationally.
"Is there something going on between you and Granger, Draco? And if yes, can I be the one to tell Potter?"
"Shut up, both of you!" Draco instructed, already to his feet, head whirling with an upcoming headache. It had dawned on him it was Thursday and he had that stupid tutoring class with her but he wouldn't have attended it even if he had remembered. The last person he wanted to see was her and yet there she was, knocking at his door, like a long-lost puppy claiming a reticent owner. The nerve she had, invading Slytherin domain, demanding he come to her. Out of all the problems he expected this damned year at Hogwarts, Hermione Granger hadn't even made the list.
"This ends now," he warned to no one in particular and headed for the exit with long, confident strides. "And don't you dare follow me, I'm not making a spectacle out of this!" He ordered the two boys, praying there would be no other troublesome eyewitnesses outside that door. It did not matter, the second he laid eyes on Hermione Granger, his vision focused on her and only her, an inexplicable knot nestling at the base of his throat.
"You must be insane, Granger. What do you think you're doing here?" The blonde wizard thundered, radiating visible vexation. He also mentally acknowledged the irony of him being there, humoring Potter's acolyte.
"You've missed your tutoring lesson," Hermione responded calmly. He was dressed in casual clothes, never once intending to meet her in the library. It bugged her, really. Was she truly that forgettable? She had spent the entire week thinking about Draco and she had probably never once popped into his head.
"Has it even crossed through that thick skull of yours that I don't want to attend this useless tutoring lesson?"
"I don't care, it's my responsibility to make sure you attend," she counteracted, trying to find the best justification as to why she was there, crossing lines no one in their right mind would.
"And I don't care about your responsibilities. How dare you come here and demand I see you?" Draco pointed his finger at her and pulled himself to his full height, cooling the adrenaline in his veins. Something about her face and the way she was looking at him rilled him up to no end. It annoyed him, how much she wanted to prove she knew what he was going through or worse, how much she wanted him to focus on matters of little importance.
"Shouldn't you lower your voice? You're embarrassing yourself," Hermione whispered, looking around at the new faces that joined their line exchange. This wasn't just any Gryffindor and Slytherin having a go at it, this was Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.
"I am embarrassing myself?! Look around, you're the one begging me here, not the other way around. How do you think that makes you look?"
Foolish. Demented. Those were only a few of the answers that crossed Hermione's mind but another word escaped her lips:
"Responsible. Now, let's head to the library or else…"
"Or else what?" Draco questioned grimly. "You'll tell on me to Snape?"
"No," Hermione said, taking out the ace from her sleeve. "I'll bring Dumbledore into it."
At the sound of Dumbledore's name, Draco's eyes darkened, all too aware of what that implied.
Hermione knew how he had attempted to kill their Headmasters through indirect methods throughout the entire school year which meant Draco was unable to face Dumbledore just yet, especially since he was tasked with assassinating him. Putting him in that situation would make him feel most uncomfortable. If possible, he would avoid Dumbledore till June.
"You wouldn't dare," he advised.
"Try me," she challenged, head raised in defiance.
In response, his jaw clenched, shoulders tensed and hands balled into fists, as if using all of his energy to stop himself from following his primitive instincts. Hermione was certain he would kill her with his bare hands if he could. He almost looked like a child throwing a silent tantrum, sulking away in helpless hatred. She was pushing the limits here but it was either challenging him or risking to lose even the small progress that had been made.
"And here I was thinking I couldn't hate you more than I already do," he whispered, eyes locked dispassionately on her.
It hurt, Hermione had to admit. She had no idea why his words affected her so much; it shouldn't have mattered what Draco thought of her. But somewhere along the line, it did. Somewhere along the line, she wanted more than the bare minimum.
"Feel free to hate as much as you wish, I'm only interested in tutoring you. It's either you attend my lessons or you start taking your exams seriously. You need to stop behaving so childishly and take responsibility for your actions," Hermione said, aware that she was straying away from the main topic. Malfoy looked confused beyond measure. " And what's with that face? Surprised someone is holding you accountable?"
"My face, Granger, is the way it is because I am beyond appalled. How the hell does Potter and Weasley stand you?"
"Patience. Which you clearly lack," she was quick to add. "Anyway, today you're excused from the lesson since it's already evening, however, I expect you'll be present at Professor Slughorn's dinner tomorrow. I'm sure you've received an invitation as well since you've brewed the potion successfully last time."
"I suppose you'll have to wait and see. If not, feel free to bring Dumbledore along," Draco snorted, the corners of his lips turning upward in bitter contempt.
Why was it that their conversations always ended on such a hurtful note? For once, she wanted matters to be peaceful or at least civil. Was it her that always agitated spirits or was it him? Maybe both? It was as if they were both fire and whenever they were in each other's presence, they would simply blaze out of control. Draco was closed off to her and she was too proud to employ other tactics, not that he offered any other option.
Their exchange had attracted quite the crowd and Hermione felt as if both her Draco were in a ring, an audience of wizards demanding more, only that she had nothing else to give. Mustering all the grace she could summon, she gave Draco one last glance and exited the dangerous premises she had once sworn she would never cross into. He would be there, at Slughorn's dinner. Something in his eyes had issued a war declaration and Hermione was more than ready to honor it.
OOO
Author's Note: Thank you for bearing with another chapter and supporting me. Next chapter, things will happen *hehehe And yes, next chapter will be posted next week, sooner than you expect, sorry for making you wait.
Carly L. Saez: Thank you so much for commenting every time, you have no idea how much that encourages me to continue writing. I'm glad you're a fan of slow burn romance, so am I. Frankly, I find it a bit discouraging when they're already in bed and making love declarations by Chapter 2, so I'm taking my time to deliver a plausible relationship between these two. However, I need them to move forward so expect a surprise next chapter :))