Big World, Baby (JJ Heller)

Losing her, even as a friend, hurt me so deeply, but I didn't have time to wallow over Santana choosing Brittany because it's what I had asked for.

Instead of letting myself stress about what could be, I focused all of my energy on making sure that Beth had my support and focus.

She needed me, and I wouldn't let her down.

Merna's funeral had been intense. The family was large, loud, and abrasive, many of them complaining about having to travel to Texas months apart for Merna and Shelby.

One person even said it was inconsiderate of them to die so close together.

While I was hearing so many shitty things, my baby girl didn't have to suffer through any of it because I made sure of it.

I filled her time with funny movies, ice cream, singing together, and asking her a million questions about her Meemaw and Mama.

The tension between the relatives had me glad that my only job was keeping Beth occupied and away from all of the bickering.

Until I met the Corcorans and Ignacio, I didn't think it was possible to be worse than the Fabrays; I was wrong.

When the family finally left, the heaviness and tension remained between the people that I least expected, Vincent and Lydia.

I could feel it simmering; years of dealing with Russell and Judy's silent war taught me a thing or two about how to get out ahead of a big blowup. For days, things had been eerily quiet in the house.

Lydia seemed to withdraw, and Vincent, who had been incredibly attentive to Beth and me in Lima, was suddenly taking meetings and planning to leave on reserve duty soon when he wasn't at his office across town.

Meanwhile, between shifts at the hospital and her intense need to bake at all hours of day or night.

When I asked about birthday plans, Lydia informed me that she had planned an all-out birthday bash for Beth at an amusement park with Shelby a few months before.

It made my heart swell to know that Shelby wasn't there for the party she planned.

Between Lydia and Shelby, no detail was left unattended. They'd rented a pavilion and got all-inclusive passes to ride all the rides.

The park was even within walking distance of hotels for any out-of-town guests.

Just like with the funeral, my main job was to keep Beth occupied and bring her to the park that day. Also, it was my job to pick up Noah at the airport for a family meet and greet with the oh-so-happy couple and Beth.

Noah was supposed to get in at noon, but with Lydia and Vincent at home, both committed to being available for Beth on her birthday weekend, it seemed that the blowup was coming at any moment.

There was no way I could allow them to finally snap while Noah was around because he had a temper a mile wide, and I didn't want him to fuck up the unofficial custody arrangements by losing his shit on Vincent.

Beth needed every adult in her life to be at their best and come hell or high water, I was going to make sure that happened.

It was the day before her birthday, and she was about to get her wish to meet Noah, and I wasn't going to let anyone get in the way of that.

My alarm went off long after I was showered and dressed for the beginning of a very long weekend. Beth bounded into my room, dressed for the day and smiling from ear to ear.

"Good morning, Mama Quinn." Beth said, teasing me, but it still had my heart leaping for joy; she was getting closer to calling me something other than my name, giving me hope.

"Good morning, Sunshine. Happy Birthday eve, Baby girl!"

Her smile got impossibly bigger, and she opened her mouth to say something when there was a loud crash downstairs and then the muffled yelling of Spanish and Vincent's deep baritone. It pained me to see Beth's smile falter.

It was all too reminiscent of my feelings of helplessness when my parents seemed about ready to kill each other. No child should have to carry the burden of the adults in their lives. It's just not fair; it's just not right.

When we were both dressed, I was focused on avoiding the chaos that continued to go on in the kitchen, so I scribbled a note for them and left it on the dining room table before grabbing the first keys I could find and taking Beth out of that situation.

We would have been leaving in a few hours, anyway, so why not leave earlier? I strapped Beth into the booster seat and put on my biggest smile just for her.

She still looked incredibly concerned and could only manage a small grimace that I thought meant to be something more, but I wouldn't push.

"Do you want waffles?" I asked as I backed out of the driveway and was met with silence.

I looked back in the rearview and saw that she was biting into her palm, and tears were streaking down her cheeks. I couldn't contain myself after that; I pulled back into the driveway and pressed the car's horn, hoping that one or both would come out, and I was not disappointed.

Vincent came storming out of the house a few moments later, followed by Lydia, who looked like she wanted to continue the argument on the front lawn. I turned, put down my window, and saw the concern replacing the anger on Vincent's face.

"What's wrong?" He asked as he got closer. I pointed to the backseat.

"She's upset, and I figured you would want to know why."

He shot me a glare but then leaned into the backseat.

"Hey, Bunny. Is everything alright? Are you feeling okay?"

She shook her head and turned her face from him.

"I don't want to talk to you." Her arms crossed over her chest as she kept her face turned. I could see the tears were still coming, breaking my heart.

Lydia finally reached the car, moved to the other side, towards where Beth was looking and leaned in.

"Bunny? Did our fighting scare you?" She asked, getting to the heart of things quickly.

Beth nodded and hugged herself tighter.

"Jody's parents got a divorce, and she had to go to therapy. I don't wanna go to therapy!" She whined.

Although I wanted to laugh at the ridiculous idea of Beth being afraid of therapy at four years old because who wouldn't? I remained calm as Lydia and Vincent talked Beth through her subsequent tantrum. Through it all, I just sat there, looking down at my phone and begging it to ring.

I sent Santana a message a few days ago about coming down for the party, hoping that even with the space between us, she'd still come through for me.

All I wanted was to give Beth happy news, but I hadn't heard back from her. Mercedes was stuck in London, and Maribel thought it was important to limit the number of new people I was introducing to Beth as family, so she wasn't coming either.

But Beth had requested Santana and Brittany by name; at the very least, I wanted to say they'd be here.

On a whim, I decided to exit the car and give the three more space while I called Brittany, hoping to get some response since Santana was committed to sticking to her word.

She answered immediately.

"Yes?" She said, her breath a little ragged.

"Hi, Britt, it's Quinn."

"I know. Did you need something?"

"Um, I messaged you and Santana earlier this week about possibly coming down for Beth's birthday. Did you get it?"

"Yup." She said, her breaths slowing down.

"Are you going to make it? She wanted to meet you specifically for some reason."

"You mentioned that. Well, you can tell little Beth that I will be there. My flight arrives tomorrow morning, so I'll probably head straight to the party."

"Oh, that's great! She'll be excited."

And even though I didn't ask, Britt offered the information I didn't even know I needed to hear.

"San isn't going; she's in Italy on a shoot."

"Okay, that's fine." I said quickly, hoping not to seem too disappointed. "I'm excited to spend some time with you. We don't get to do that a lot."

"Yeah." She responded, not even hiding her sarcasm. "It's going to be fun." She said quietly. It sounded a little too close to a threat, but I just chalked that up to paranoia.

What could Brittany possibly do to me?

When I got back to the car, Beth was smiling.

Crisis averted.

The four of us ended up having breakfast together at the diner at Beth's request. Lydia sat on my side of the booth, and Vincent sat with Beth; they both did their best to be happy for her and as far as I could tell, they had convinced her that the fight had been a one-time thing.

I didn't believe them for a second, but I wasn't going to make anything worse.

"So, are you excited to meet Noah?" I asked Beth as we returned to the car, her hand firmly in mine.

"Yes! Do you think he'll like me?" She asked, her serious face back in place.

"He's loved you since you were in my belly; that hasn't changed."

"You loved me too, right?"

"More than anything."

"And you still do?" She asked, her interrogation becoming more direct.

"I'll never stop loving you, ever, ever!" I said, smiling down at her, excited to see the smile return.

"Good because I think I love you too."

I caught Vincent and Lydia shooting each other looks, and it was good to see that it was positive.

By noon, Beth seemed to completely forget the morning's troubles, and I was able to leave Vincent and Lydia to their bickering at home, hopefully with them more aware of how it affected Beth.

I wasn't going to be their marriage counselor, but I damn sure wouldn't let them screw her up.

Beth jumped up and down next to me as the one and only Noah Puckerman made his way from baggage claim, his cast-encased foot in a walking boot that went up to his knee. It looked like it would be incredibly uncomfortable, but he strutted with that thing as if it was weightless and in style.

I knew that feeling, knowing that Beth was in sight. Nothing can get to you at that moment.

She can make the world stop, and happiness seems like the only option.

"Wow, he's tall." She said as he got closer to us.

"Yeah, he is." I said, catching his eye. He looked at me with so much warmth and happiness. At that moment, I let go of a breath that I had been holding, relieved that we were okay after I denied his proposal...again.

When he was finally in front of us, he couldn't take his eyes off Beth.

"Hey there, Princess." He said, smiling down at her with a look of awe.

"Yo! You seriously left me?" Someone called from behind him. He turned and smirked as his brother approached us, lugging a bag over each shoulder.

"You shouldn't have fallen asleep. Figured you'd enjoy the flight attendant waking you up!"

Jake rolled his eyes and stuck his hand out to me.

"Hi, Quinn, it's good to see you again. I hope you don't mind me tagging along. I didn't want to pass up the chance to see my niece for her birthday."

"The more, the merrier." I said, not sure how else I was supposed to respond. It was his brother, after all. It was good for Vincent and Lydia to see that Beth would still have a good support network around her.

On the way to their hotel, which was across from the amusement park, Puck sat in the back with Beth, and they continued their long conversation from the other day, completely ignoring Jake and me in the front seat.

"So, congratulations on graduating from Yale. Is it true you did it in three years? That is insane? You are way too smart for my brother. How did he ever land you?" Jake said, distracting me from periodically glancing in the back.

"Thanks; I guess he got me on an off day." Noah rolled his eyes but didn't bother saying a word. "How about you? College?"

"Yep! Not all of us Puckermans can be military men. I'm headed to the University of the Arts in August."

"What? Aren't you going to follow the glee masses to New York City? The land where dreams come true?"

He scoffed and shook his head.

"You didn't and look at you!" He said as he took in the landscape.

"True."

"Philly's a great city."

"I've never been, although I did get accepted to the med school at U Penn. I applied to all of the Ivys but haven't been to any of them except Yale and Columbia."

"Well, you should!" Puck responded from the back seat. He was now gifted with the ability to have two conversations at once. "It would be cool if you decided on Philly, looks like I'm going to be stationed in Delaware, so that would be pretty close."

"I'll take that into consideration." I said to him before turning back to Jake. "I really do appreciate you coming out here. It means a lot."

"Family sticks together, and as far as I'm concerned, you are as much my family as she is, so if you ever need anything, especially when you can't get to him." He pointed his thumb backward. "Don't hesitate to let me know. My mom raised me all by herself, and the help aunts and uncles gave to her got us through some rough times."

"Thank you."

We spent the rest of the day in relative peace; even the family dinner was calm and uneventful.

I should have seen it as the calm before the storm, but sometimes, I can be ridiculously optimistic.

Especially regarding my expectations of the people I've come to know and trust.

That night, I went to bed with Beth in my arms, knowing I would spend her entire birthday with her for the first time since she was born.

The peace and assurance in that alone were enough to shield my eyes from any trouble brewing.

I was happy. It was a pure and unadulterated joy that came from being able to love Beth and have her love me back.

And just as well as trouble doesn't always last, neither does my joy.

But, like I said, I can be ridiculously optimistic.